Several years ago I decluttered the mindset that my career had to keep moving up. The higher I went the more stressful it became, and the less I enjoyed it. I moved back down the ladder, and I’m so happy. I’m criticized for it by many, but I’ve also decluttered taking advice about my life from people who aren’t qualified 😀. Thanks for the great videos, they really make a difference for me. 🥰
@@birrcottage8419 It’s exactly the same thing for me! I love being in a lower position with less responsibility. My mental health is so much more important to me than the money. I’m naturally an anxious person who stresses easily and the higher up positions were too much for me. I explain to others that just because I’m good at something doesn’t mean I want to actually be doing it.
Love the comment about the small social circle. Being an HSP I have always found it unsatisfying to have a large circle of 'friends' who are really only connections - not people I can be honest and intimate with. For years I worked hard to maintain a large friend group (large for me) and finally decided that it was costing me more (in energy and effort) than I was getting back from it. One on one is my favourite way to hang out with friends, with 2 on 2 as an occasional couples alternative. It is so much easier to have meaningful conversations that way.
Same here. I only can get some satisfaction from one-on-one communication. The more people are involved the less meaningful the talk gets. So in companies i was always a wallflower. I was watching the conversation and could not get the point of it. Just some sentences go one by one but what it is all about and why- i have no idea. And all these attempts to add something to this meaningless chatting depleted my battery and got on my nerves. So i haven't been taken part in activities like that for many years. I definitely prefer quality over quantity.
I like the one about being the villain in another person's story. Not long ago a friend dropped me after 25 years of friendship. I've seen her a couple of times on the road (we don't live far from each other) and she always frowns at me. I'm her villain. I feel a little sad that this is how things ended, but I accept that our friendship ran its course. Another acquaintance recently emailed me to say that "she didn't want to know me." Initially, I was bummed about it, but after some thought I realized that I didn't want to know her either! My husband often says that not every friendship is meant to last and I now accept that he's right.
So sorry to hear that Alice, that's always tough to go through... Especially after such a long time being friends. Glad to hear you're feeling a bit better about it and that husband is also helping you accept what happened. Take care!!
This hit me as well! I used to hate it if anyone seemed to not like me, and I also used to feel guilty for not liking everyone I met. More recently (I'm 35), I've been able to accept that I won't be everyone's cup of tea and vice versa. It's honestly been very healing and freeing.
Another thing I want to declutter is/ are friends and hobbies and jobs and situations I outgrew. I have a fierce sense of loyalty towards anything enters my life.
My housekeeping goal is simply that I would not be embarrassed if someone stops by unexpected.y. It does not need to be perfect.. I just want people to feel welcome, and if it is clean enough I can make sure that they are welcome and have a place to sit where we can enjoy a nice visit.
Yes I love that, and also use that as a general rule for our home. Since we don't get many people coming over unannounced, I use the rule that my home should be clean enough so that I'm not embarrased filming some of it to show in my videos. :)
Great tip! My home is usually fairly tidy, so not embarrassing, however, I think I need to make sure my bathroom sink is cleaned every day with a clean hand towel put out weekly.
One of my decluttered ideas: "If I can help someone, I must help them." This idea stretched me too thin, so I decided to slow down and create a balance, which is still work in progress
Yes, I realised that a couple of years ago. I have always seen myself as a helpful person but now my priority is to sort my own problems and life out first. If I have time I can then help others but I will be more selective in who I help or will signpost them to people more suited to help.
Hey Vera. Great video and great tips. I can definitely relate to them. I'm 56 and it's wonderful to see someone in their 30's actually getting the concept of these mindsets at this age rather than it hitting them in 20 years. What a difference that is going to make for you. My most favourite thing in this video is the little moments where things weren't quite right (as such), you needed to scratch your foot and you didn't have your mic on properly, etc. Those in themselves show how much you're growing and changing. I think previously you would have edited them out. Now they just make up the wonderfulness that is your life. Thanks so much for sharing of yourself, all whilst taking care of yourself. Awesome work.
I am in my mid 50 and learning from you so much. I use to put so much pressure on myself to achieve all my long to do list perfectly every day . I am working on having more compassion for myself. That it is OK if I didn’t finish everything I wanted that day. It is OK to have some days less productive than others. It is work in progress for me . Thank you for your videos.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Sofia! I agree, life is too short to feel guilty when taking time for ourselves and not being productive. We're allowed to enjoy our life, not just 'do life' :) Take care and enjoy some time for self care!
#8 is so important to me,and i notice it so much in others now that i focus on enjoying without being great at. It is so hard to find people interested in doing a class with me because "oh I'm not good at dancing" or "I'm not an artist" - i didn't ask you to join a professional troupe or submit to a gallery, just to try a new thing! I wish i could share this with my teenage self, she should have danced poorly more often
Some of the best advice I've ever gotten is "If it's worth doing, it's worth half-assing." - this helps both for trying new things and for getting started when you're procrastinating because of perfectionism.
I can see similarities with me in everything...in EVERYTHING. Maybe that s why i love you Vera for so many many years. I have not missed any of your videos. Your channel has inspired to make my channel a few years ago which i love so much!!!🌷🌷🌷
I love your videos. I put them on while decluttering. They aren’t a sensory overload. Your voice is calming. I just grab a basket and go through my stuff while you are talking.
I'm a fellow "self-worth tied to productivity" person. I find it difficult to enjoy my time without feeling guilty. Your videos do inspire me to slow down and consider self-care!
Yes! Life is too short to feel guilty when taking time for ourselves and not being productive. We're allowed to enjoy our life, not just 'do life' :) Take care and enjoy some time for self care!
I have decluttered the idea that "A night slept is a night wasted". Are you familiar with it or do you remember how at university for example everyone would say "Oh I can pull two all-nighters!" "Who cares for sleep when there is so much stuff going on?!". I used to be like that as well. Now I started valuing my sleep hygiene, sleeping routine and it's the best thing I have done for myself in years! I feel energised, I feel fresh, I have time for a morning walk and I don't need hectoliters of coffee to keep me going through my day! 🙂
Vera, I resonate with numbers 4 and 7. At 74 years old, life is too short to worry about things that are not that important. Thank you as always for an inspirational video. Sending hugs ❤
Thank you Vera. Very helpful advice - especially that it’s ok to be the villain in someone else’s story. I have a colleague who has a problem with me and I don’t really know why because I try my best to be friendly and supportive of her. Thanks for helping me let go of this.
You're so welcome! Things like that can be tough, but in the end, we can only control our own actions. :) Take care and have a wonderful rest of your weekend!
Oh I love you so much, - - I am allowed to have off days, weeks, months and even years! This hit my heart with so much warmth. Thank you so much! Oh yes! the older we get the less we need to have everyone like us - I am 78! No worries - I am not friends with those who don't like me and I am not the villain! Oh for sure, my body is soooo different - I am up for dental surgery and false teeth soon and last night I lost my front upper tooth. So I had to say I am beautiful ten times in the mirror this morning! All of your topics are so correct and thank you so much for sharing your wisdom! Love and Hugs from Laara in Canada
When I'm running back and forth, worried about the ton of things I need to do or I'm out walking very fast I think "I have all the time in the world" and I slow down. It really works and it's my favourite trick. I love your videos. 🙂
For me, I would say the one thing I've rethought is that not everything you own has value. I struggled with just giving things away, thinking about "I paid this much for it, I should sell it." First off, sometimes selling stuff is more complicated than it's worth and second, what is wrong with being charitable and donating those items. When I donate something nice now, I think "I hope the right person comes along and it makes them feel as though they've found a treasure."
That's so true! I struggle with the same concept. I have some clothes that I haven't (or have barely) worn and I still keep them because they are "valuable". I really want to donate them but can't shake the feeling that I must try to sell them first, despite that selling causes me a lot of stress. I've donated some of them, but still have a few pieces hanging around in my closet :(
Hi Vera, I have for the first time in my life, been Decluttering the people in my life whose relationships cause me stress and anxiety. I feel like I have more time for me now. And, I know the time I spend with me is quality time. I’m not constantly second guessing if this person is being real with me or why today they are nice and tomorrow they are crappy with me. I gave up going through all of that grief and anxiety and gave myself grace to have peace in my life.
Watching the Indian clip in the gardening section in the intro made me happy. And your content is amazing. The ideas, the thoughts and the vibes are so much relatable. Love from India 🇮🇳
Omg, Vera!!!! I feel so old!!! I didn’t realize how much time had passed, until you mentioned your age!! I’ve been watching you now for at least 6 years, and I cannot tell you how much you’ve helped this 48 year old woman get rid of so much physical and mental clutter over time. As a therapist, I appreciate these videos, as they serve as reminders and allow me to see how far I’ve come. Thank you so much for such great and beneficial content. ☕️ 🫖 💞
It absolutely is! I had long covid for 4 months earlier this year. It was the darkest time of my life, but what got me through it was telling myself “This too shall pass. The suffering will end. I will come out stronger from this.” Since I’ve recovered, a lot of things that used to be normal for me took time to get back into doing again, but several months later, I feel so much better and have regained so much strength. It truly is a blessing and wonderful way to approach situations in life. ❤️🕊️
You are just delightful. You share your life experiences/observations with grace and a lightness that is refreshing. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and suggestions for living a full and enjoyable life.
I can understand how difficult it is to handle the ''scarcity mindset," specifically when it pertains to relationships. For me, time feels fleeting and like I'm always running out of it. It slips through my fingers like sand through a sieve. There is nothing I can do to keep people in my life. They always leave. Either because they die, or just move away. I don't have many close friends, and all of them are many hours away by car, keeping our contact minimal. This constant awareness is exhausting and puts a lot of unnecessary weight into every one of my interactions with others, and into what I choose to spend my time on besides them. I don't know how to shake the feelings I get around it, as it's incredibly isolating. When I bring it up, that I feel like every moment should be appreciated and savoured because it's so fleeting and precious, people tend to be put off. I tend to be put off. It doesn't seem to come from a place of gratitude, but of fear and loneliness and lack. Trying to change the perspective I have on it seems to be a struggle for me, because it is wrapped in a pretty bow, made to look like something healthy. It poisons how I view myself and the way I spend my time and energy. If I didn't "seize the day" in the most productive or helpful way, I feel like I've "wasted" something vitally important. Something I can never get back. Unattainable standards of perfection are a whole deal. I struggle to sit with the discomfort of not having things "just so." Keeping my home spotless is definitely a control issue. I want to feel like I have control over my immediate environment. To feel safe. That seems to require a clean floor, at the least. I walk barefoot and hate feeling like I have stuff stuck to the bottoms of my feet. I've made concessions to a slightly less perfect floor, as I have cats and it was too much to force myself to clean it multiple times a day any longer. Making room in my life for something other than cleaning. Those standards apply to everything I do. Loosening them a bit to allow myself more fun experiences, in stead of focusing on the end goal of a product I can be proud of has helped somewhat, but it's still very much a work in progress. I want to learn more skills and explore new ideas. I'm hoping to free up more space in my life for fun and lovely relationships with others. I have very limited resources, and accepting that seems to be the key to doing those things. I have to accept my limitations in order to better work with and around them. Accepting my needs is a step in that, as well. It means listening to myself and not pushing so hard anymore. Unfortunately, my emotional needs (like for creativity and human connection) seem to fall off the end of my list, as I have too many things in front of them. There is very little room for me in my life, the way I've been living it. I am currently attempting to take steps to change that, but it all feels so tiring to manage at this moment. Thank you for the reminder to slow down and breathe. Your videos help hold a mirror to myself, so I can see what I'm doing to keep myself from the peace and joy I crave, and what steps I can try to take to get closer to those things. I hope you have a lovely weekend!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! I'm so glad to hear you're enjoying my videos and finding them helpful in that way :) Keep taking good care! Wishing you a lovely rest of your weekend too 🤗🌱
I agree with #5. I’ve never been apart of a friend group. It used to be hard in school because I had friends but I wasn’t part of a group. Now, I feel like I always had true friends for those periods of my life.
I especially relate to the scarcity mentally and doing things half-assed (which made me laugh to hear you say it). My scarcity mentality, like yours, was because I grew up in the family that didn’t have a lot of money. I’m now OK and it’s all because I stopped stressing about having so many household items in stock, especially when it comes to health and beauty items. I used to get so stressed out if I didn’t always keep extra containers of deodorant, toothpaste, hairspray, etc. Now I know if I’m running low or I run out, I can just drive to the store and buy more. It took a lot of stress away. When you talked about half-assing things, that’s also something I’ve gotten much better about. I used to put pressure on myself to finish every book I started. Now, if I’ve read 50-100 pages and it’s still not interesting, I take the book back to the library. There are too many great books to force myself to read something that isn’t interesting. When I’m learning new things, sometimes I find that I’m just not as interested as I thought I’d be, so I no longer put that pressure on myself to continue to learn about something that really doesn’t interest me.
"I can just drive to the store and buy more." Some people just never learn. One of the reasons you should stock up is because the economy is not going to get better. The price you pay for something today is going to be far less than it will be in 2 years. You'll be using deodorant in 2024 prices in 2025 or 2026.
This video hit home. It felt like you made this video about me, haha! In truth, just before clikcing this video, I had made the decision to stop obsessing over jobs, careers, and education. I am in my 30's and I've never really known what to do in that department, but obsessing was really tearing me down. Thank you for this video. I'll be watching again because I want to really absorb your message. ❤
Thank you so much for your kind comment and I love what you shared about not obsessing over your career and education. I can relate a bit, since my career is also kind of all over the place hihi, and I have no idea what I would do if my channel stopped for some reason. Like you, I choose not to worry about it :) Things will turn out fine. Have a wonderful rest of your weekend, sending a hug your way!
Very insightful ideas and tips, as always. Thank you, Vera! Several of your points really resonate with me right now as I just moved into a new house by myself. It’s a relief to have a minimal amount of things and to arrange them just how I like. My pitfall is that it always needs to be perfectly clean and when it’s not, this creates anxiety. I’m trying to Embrace Imperfection.
In regards to No8, there’s a similar quote I like and use: “If something is worth doing, it’s worth doing badly”. Meaning you’re a) learning, and b) at least doing it.
This is one of my favourite videos by you. It's so helpful to hear someone talk about these things. Mayn of these mindsets are carved deep and it's not easy to get rid of them, still they cause so much stress and worry in life if we cling to them. So thank you for opening up!
I've been battling with body shape change and what clothes suit me. I found seeing people similar is encouraging to see what works. It's been a fun ride with a positive mindset ❤ your tips are very encouraging ❤
I agree, that's very helpful for me as well :) Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful rest of your weekend!! Take care and thanks as always for the good vibes 🌹🤗🌳
Inspirational, excellent, and delivered in such a lovely, sincere way; you’re a gifted communicator! You look beautiful🌸. Also, you look, at least, a decade younger than your age 🌞.
I absolutely love your latest content. I usually watch your video several times. First as a background and as an ASM when I'm doing things and don't have time to sit down. Your voice is so soothing, it truly brings peace to an overstimulated mind. Then I watch it again, this time really paying attention to your words. Your content is so rich in value, there are no fillers. And it's so relatable! I love the personal approach, one can tell that you're speaking from your own experience. Thank you for the time and effort you put into these videos 🫶
So many of the lessons you speak of I’ve experienced myself. Maybe it’s a somewhat universal truth we go through as we age. 💜I’ve come to learn that your worth isn’t related to your output. I used to push myself too much…
OMG VERA! you are so right about so many things! I am now 38, and I still forget that my body is not 20, and that I cannot eat anything I want, I have to be more conscious about food to be healthy. Also your points about accepting other peoples point of view on situations you are involved in. It is always perspective, never one truth in any situation. Thank you for reminding us of your nuggets of wisdom
I decluttered to think about, what others might think of me when I do this and that or wear this or that kind of clothers.. that is so toxic altogether anyway and now I am feeling so much better about myself. :)
Im new to your channel. I love your calm, confident energy. So grounding. It’s like listening to a sister/mentor. Thank you for sharing all your amazing advice with us. ❤
Thank you for this wonderful video, Vera 😊 I need to watch and hear it again! The scarcity mindset has been one I've been working on for years and it's been a nice change. "I am not my productivity" is my current challenge. But it has been so freeing to feel self-worth outside of my accomplishments. It's like, my soul can rest now and I can feel content in doing "nothing," which involves a lot of saying "no" to activities and demands and developing a balanced life.
Your videos are my safe place 🥰really felt the one of "being the villain in another person's story". You just have to accept that you cannot control everything, as long as you feel aligned with the way you react and act I think this is the most important
Seems like you’re both a hero and a villain or NPC depending on one’s perspective. It is what it is, but it’s good to just go about your life the best you can with what works for you without harm.
It took me 17 years of battling against my ADHD to develop the kind of discipline I exercised THIS year in being consistently productive. While I'm proud of all the videos and music I made, it didn't fix my self worth problem, or if it did, it only help a fraction of it heal. Productivity isn't everything and yeah we should not define our self worth by it. It's like no wonder so many people are burnt out and there's so much content out there ABOUT burnout. A lot of people have fallen victim to the hustle mind virus.
@TheSinlessAssassin Congratulations on your exercise goals achieve this year. It takes alot somedays to get out there and continue. Celebrate any achievements
Hi Vera!! I really enjoyed your video, as always. Thank you so much. I’d say a mindset Ive declutterred is that if I’ve missed doing something on a certain day of week, just keep going and don’t stress about it. Progress not perfection. ❤😅Be kind to myself.
You inspired this perfectionist to “half ass”!! I’ve missed out so much in life because I have to be perfect or succeed at whatever I do:( My new motto when it comes to try new things is “H A”!!!
I love your videos so much Vera. I always feel so much better when I can watch your videos. I’m 62 and have decluttered my home. It isn’t a minimalist home but feels so much better. Love from Canada.
❤ yes my body changed and I now have chronic illnesses psoriatica arthritis and hyperthyroidism started in my 50th year. Trying to live healthily all my life it is hard to accept but acceptance is necessary as I need to rest when needed, take meds I don't want. I am still valuable now teaching even older people ukulele. My body changed and my life changed. ❤
Thank you for sharing your thoughts Erika, I think it's great and really inspiring how you're working on acceptance after and during change. Keep taking good care of yourself. Sending you a hug 🤗🌱🌹
Lovely to see you Vera! I used to have an incredibly vicious inner critic. It took some work, but I let go of that inner dialogue and replaced it with a loving, encouraging inner coach. It’s a form of radical self-care. Full transparency… It’s been a struggle to grasp onto any positive thinking this week. It’s not just the election, my son is struggling with his mental health and it’s a heavy, heavy thing to carry as a mom. This too shall pass. He is in a safe enough place and getting the space needed to reset his nervous system. All will be well again. I can do hard things and so can he.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts Nanette. I'm so sorry to hear about your and your son's struggles, I think it's great how you're dealing with things and showing up like that. Very inspiring. Keep taking good care of yourself! Sending you a hug
Thank you Vera for this video! I esp. related with the 10th point... Balancing your work with your needs... That balance is so very important for our well-being, and joy.
Numbers 8 and 9 really resonated… this idea that I have to be the best at everything I do. When I picture my life and my yoga practice I think that I have to be as good as a yoga instructor when actually that’s no why I’m doing it at all and don’t have that desire so why am I letting it stop me from even doing one small practice… the human brain is a marvel sometimes 😂
Really enjoyed this and found it helpful to hear someone else talk about things I deal with also. Your words are full of wisdom. Please know that your efforts to encourage others is appreciated.
Hi Vera! Talk about how our bodies change I pretty much weighed 115 most of my adult life and I’m 5’4. Now that I’m 62 I’m 132 and I look so much better and healthier! When I look at my old pics I see how bad I actually looked. That was just my metabolism! I’m a lot happier now😊
I went through life coaching training (I am certified) and very much we were trained that you can change your mindset and therefore make differences in your life to reach your goals. Like you, my house is also never messy...but because I have made good habits that have led me to know how to maintain it well and have hardly anything to upkeep because we don't own a lot. I really enjoyed your list. Well done.
One in progress for me, is that I must be 'productive' in terms of outputs at all times. I'm learning that there is such a thing as productive rest. It's easy to know the theory, compared to the practice, but reminders like this really help.
Thank you for being so open. I have the money scarcity mindset too. And my husband and i have always argues about this. He thinks i don't trust him with money. But growing up like you, where money was a thing, it is hard for me to let go. Now be both are changing our jobs and we will move to a smaller Appartement. All my fears comes up. We will see how this will work out. Don't like the between situation like hanging in the air. But i learned life will go on, changing is a part of life. And it could turn out good, so welcome all feelings and go through the time.
Happy Saturday, Vera! 🍵🕊️ Really love this video so much! Something that has helped me a ton lately in decluttering as a mindset was to not allow my emotions or mental health be affected by politics or what is outside of my control. Here in America, we have this culture of politics and pride so deeply engrained into us from young no matter where we live in the states, and it can really consume us. I saw how deeply it was affecting me several years ago, and I’m so glad I made that change for my life; it was so forward-thinking. :)
Yes, I think that's a really good one, thanks for sharing! It's challenging to accept what we can't change, and to focus on what we can change, but it's so helpful and it can allow us to keep going and showing up in the world as our best selves. Take care and have a wonderful weekend!!
@@SimpleHappyZen Completely agree. It is so transformative for us and allows us to take on the role of the advocate for others in need. Thank you so much, Vera!! Have a great weekend!
Wow. Number 3. That was powerful. Thank you. I've spent so much energy on that one, struggling with how my imperfections and mistakes (or boundaries!) have turned me into the villain in someone else's mind. In turn, they often become the villain in my mind. Sometimes it's best just to learn from your mistakes, forgive yourself, and move on without trying to control other people's minds and actions. It's hard work but perhaps the most simple, happy, and zen-like way. :-)
My take away from this video is that you and I should be friends!! If only we lived on the same continent! I share so many (possibly all) of the same thought patterns that you have already, or are still trying to declutter. I imagine we have very similar personalities. I think the thought that has helped me the most to change behaviour patterns is “how do I really feel about this? Like deep down in my soul?”I find it frees me from conforming to societal expectations or the expectations of family and friends. I used to do so many things because I felt I “should” do them - even if I knew doing so was not good for me.
I decluttered the mindset that I have to finish everything I've started. I used to push through books and movies I don't really like because I thought I have to finish them. Not anymore. I don't waste my time on this. If I don't enjoy it, I stop it and that is so freeing.
I would love to hear more about how you have learned how to overcome your time scarcity mindset. This is something I really struggle with. Thank you for your encouraging videos!
I love half-assing things. Two years ago I started learning how to play ukulele, and I still play now and then, but I feel I do not need to become a perfect ukulelist. I just like to strum about a bit and do a little song now and then. This year, my husband gave me a guitar for our wedding anniversary, so now I am looking for a couple of guitar lessons to learn the basics, and then will go for maybe an online course like skillshare to learn some more. Talking about bodies ... I am in my fifties now and I really had a hard time accepting my body changes due to menopause. Over the time, I came to accepting that, as you say, I am not twenty anymore (and I do not want to be twenty anymore), and I am mostly okay with how my body looks like now. I also changed the way I dress a little bit to feel comfortable in clothes that actually fit my body and give a damn to the number on the size tag. :) I am working on my scarcity mindset right now, focussing on time. As you said, there is an abundance of time in the world, and everything will work out fine in the end, and there is no need to rush, and there will always be a few minutes or an hour left for me-time - but I really, really have to remind me about this all the time.
@@autorinmitkatze I started ukulele four years ago and I love it! It is great to learn something new. Hope you manage to play guitar. I decided to stick to uku but may ask for a tenor for Christmas
Hoi Vera! Ik reageer eigenlijk nooit (stille kijker ;)) maar toen ik weer zat te denken hoe goed deze trui je staat dacht ik: ga ik toch even zeggen ;) Ik herinner me dat je weleens zei dat je waarschijnlijk een lichte zomer bent, maar met jouw zachtheid en beetje warmte erbij denk ik persoonlijk dat je weleens een zachte herfst zou kunnen zijn, of tussen zachte zomer en herfst (neutraal?) maar dan licht. Ik geloof dat de typische zachte herfst of zomers wat donkerder zijn, en jouw staan lichte kleuren echt top! maar volgens mij is de zachtheid ook echt een factor, en een beetje warmte. Die geelachtige trui die je hebt staat je ook echt heel goed namelijk. Nou dat waren mijn two cents ;) bedankt voor je leuke video's!
Aaw dankje! :) Ja als ik zo kijk online dan zou dat inderdaad ook wel kunnen kloppen... Ik gebruik nu ook een net iets andere setting op mijn camera waardoor de kleuren er iets warmer uitzien dan de setting die ik hiervoor altijd had, dus dat zou ook iets kunnen uitmaken. Maar ik probeer inderdaad vooral te kijken naar zachte en lichte kleuren :) Fijne maandag nog!!!!
@@SimpleHappyZen Ah dat kan zeker een rol spelen, en je weet dat zelf het beste :) Het feit dat die gele/bruine/oranje (wat is de kleur haha) trui je zo mooi staat is wel een teken dat zachtheid voor jou een hele belangrijke rol speelt. Stiekem ben ik een beetje jaloers haha, ik hou het meest van zachte herfstkleuren maar ik ben een true summer dus koel. Dan kijk ik maar naar mensen die het wel leuk staat haha.
I like you! The you I know via these short videos. 😂 You have good advice and a calm mien that I appreciate. I am a fellow HSP. May you and your life partner be well.
Thank you for this video, I enjoyed it a lot! ♥ The aspect of having several deep 1:1 friendships, but no real friend group is also such a thing for me! I'd like to be part of a community where everyone is also mindful, empathetic and kind, so it doesn't get overwhelming or stressful to be around 3 or more people at the same time! 😅 I've experienced this once on a yoga retreat for a couple of days and it felt so safe and warm! 🥰 But the thing that I struggle most with is not even the 1:1 aspect (I love concentrating on one person and our dynamic), but living rather far away from them, so I don't see them in person very often, let alone spontaneously for a walk for example. I miss that! :( Hearing you talk about it makes me feel a little less alone and makes me want to be one of your 1:1 friends as well! :D ♥
Many thanks for helping me to change my mindset and decluttering etc etc etc. Interesting to share the various hobbies. Everything is a work in progress...
I am much older and I don't care much anymore. I can let go of things and people. Oh yes my body has changed a lot and had 3 children. I have changed my diet to a healthier one. I really like your train of thoughts thinking outload. Deep connections are more meaningful. Abundance mindset whereby I am greatly grateful and count every blessings in our life. Alhamdulillah. Somehow everything works out. Just make adjustments and make do with what there is.
I used to have the scarcity mindset because of economic insecurity throughout my childhood. Even after I got a grip on my own finances and we started making good money I was always worried about losing it all. I finally have gotten to a place where I don't have to obsess about future what-if scenarios and I can just enjoy the security we have now. I try to keep it in perspective. I have a roof over my head, food, clothing, heat and electricity. The rest is not as important as I think.
That is how I try to think too. The rest are just wants / nice to haves but not essential. Unlike needs, which are few, the list of wants can be endless.
![BRASIL vs. URUGUAY [1-1] | RESUMEN | ELIMINATORIAS SUDAMERICANAS | FECHA 12](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/-hWBAuxF1eY/mqdefault.jpg)
Several years ago I decluttered the mindset that my career had to keep moving up. The higher I went the more stressful it became, and the less I enjoyed it. I moved back down the ladder, and I’m so happy. I’m criticized for it by many, but I’ve also decluttered taking advice about my life from people who aren’t qualified 😀. Thanks for the great videos, they really make a difference for me. 🥰
I love this, good for you! :) Thanks for sharing this, I think many people can relate. :)
@@birrcottage8419 It’s exactly the same thing for me! I love being in a lower position with less responsibility. My mental health is so much more important to me than the money. I’m naturally an anxious person who stresses easily and the higher up positions were too much for me. I explain to others that just because I’m good at something doesn’t mean I want to actually be doing it.
Vera I appreciate your gentleness. I gain so much from watching your videos. I'm 76 and still learning. Thank you ❤
Aw thank you!! 🤗💕 That means a lot 🌱🍵
Lizzie we mature ladies benefit from Vera - I am 63 and still feel like I can learn at least one thing new everyday.
Yes! You are so enlightened for being so young. I'm 70 and still working on it. Your videos are so soothing.
Agree!
Love the comment about the small social circle. Being an HSP I have always found it unsatisfying to have a large circle of 'friends' who are really only connections - not people I can be honest and intimate with. For years I worked hard to maintain a large friend group (large for me) and finally decided that it was costing me more (in energy and effort) than I was getting back from it. One on one is my favourite way to hang out with friends, with 2 on 2 as an occasional couples alternative. It is so much easier to have meaningful conversations that way.
Definitely!! Agree :)
Same here. I only can get some satisfaction from one-on-one communication. The more people are involved the less meaningful the talk gets. So in companies i was always a wallflower. I was watching the conversation and could not get the point of it. Just some sentences go one by one but what it is all about and why- i have no idea. And all these attempts to add something to this meaningless chatting depleted my battery and got on my nerves. So i haven't been taken part in activities like that for many years. I definitely prefer quality over quantity.
I like the one about being the villain in another person's story. Not long ago a friend dropped me after 25 years of friendship. I've seen her a couple of times on the road (we don't live far from each other) and she always frowns at me. I'm her villain. I feel a little sad that this is how things ended, but I accept that our friendship ran its course. Another acquaintance recently emailed me to say that "she didn't want to know me." Initially, I was bummed about it, but after some thought I realized that I didn't want to know her either! My husband often says that not every friendship is meant to last and I now accept that he's right.
Sorry about that. I have been through the same experience many times.
So sorry to hear that Alice, that's always tough to go through... Especially after such a long time being friends. Glad to hear you're feeling a bit better about it and that husband is also helping you accept what happened. Take care!!
This hit me as well! I used to hate it if anyone seemed to not like me, and I also used to feel guilty for not liking everyone I met. More recently (I'm 35), I've been able to accept that I won't be everyone's cup of tea and vice versa. It's honestly been very healing and freeing.
Another thing I want to declutter is/ are friends and hobbies and jobs and situations I outgrew. I have a fierce sense of loyalty towards anything enters my life.
I can relate :) Being loyal is a wonderful quality, but sometimes it's good to decide to let things go when they don't belong in our future anymore :)
My housekeeping goal is simply that I would not be embarrassed if someone stops by unexpected.y. It does not need to be perfect.. I just want people to feel welcome, and if it is clean enough I can make sure that they are welcome and have a place to sit where we can enjoy a nice visit.
Yes I love that, and also use that as a general rule for our home. Since we don't get many people coming over unannounced, I use the rule that my home should be clean enough so that I'm not embarrased filming some of it to show in my videos. :)
Great tip! My home is usually fairly tidy, so not embarrassing, however, I think I need to make sure my bathroom sink is cleaned every day with a clean hand towel put out weekly.
One of my decluttered ideas: "If I can help someone, I must help them." This idea stretched me too thin, so I decided to slow down and create a balance, which is still work in progress
Yes, I realised that a couple of years ago. I have always seen myself as a helpful person but now my priority is to sort my own problems and life out first. If I have time I can then help others but I will be more selective in who I help or will signpost them to people more suited to help.
“We just don’t have enough to get messy” is a sentence I want to be able to say someday!
😁👍
Hey Vera. Great video and great tips. I can definitely relate to them. I'm 56 and it's wonderful to see someone in their 30's actually getting the concept of these mindsets at this age rather than it hitting them in 20 years. What a difference that is going to make for you. My most favourite thing in this video is the little moments where things weren't quite right (as such), you needed to scratch your foot and you didn't have your mic on properly, etc. Those in themselves show how much you're growing and changing. I think previously you would have edited them out. Now they just make up the wonderfulness that is your life. Thanks so much for sharing of yourself, all whilst taking care of yourself. Awesome work.
I am in my mid 50 and learning from you so much. I use to put so much pressure on myself to achieve all my long to do list perfectly every day . I am working on having more compassion for myself. That it is OK if I didn’t finish everything I wanted that day. It is OK to have some days less productive than others. It is work in progress for me . Thank you for your videos.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Sofia! I agree, life is too short to feel guilty when taking time for ourselves and not being productive. We're allowed to enjoy our life, not just 'do life' :) Take care and enjoy some time for self care!
I love the attitude that if a thing's worth doing its worth doing badly! You can have a good time even not being very good at the activity.
Yes! Love that as well :) Enjoyment should come first :)
#8 is so important to me,and i notice it so much in others now that i focus on enjoying without being great at. It is so hard to find people interested in doing a class with me because "oh I'm not good at dancing" or "I'm not an artist" - i didn't ask you to join a professional troupe or submit to a gallery, just to try a new thing! I wish i could share this with my teenage self, she should have danced poorly more often
She should have danced poorly more often, sounds very poetic 😍 that can go on a tile as we dutchies would say "Dat kan zo op een tegeltje" 😊
Some of the best advice I've ever gotten is "If it's worth doing, it's worth half-assing." - this helps both for trying new things and for getting started when you're procrastinating because of perfectionism.
YES Love that 😁👍
I can see similarities with me in everything...in EVERYTHING. Maybe that s why i love you Vera for so many many years. I have not missed any of your videos. Your channel has inspired to make my channel a few years ago which i love so much!!!🌷🌷🌷
Thank you, this is SO GOOD!!
I love your videos. I put them on while decluttering. They aren’t a sensory overload. Your voice is calming. I just grab a basket and go through my stuff while you are talking.
That's nice to hear :) Happy decluttering!!
@ haha thank you, I am pretty far already but I found 10 items that will be gone or donated. And my brain will be happy too 😄
I'm a fellow "self-worth tied to productivity" person. I find it difficult to enjoy my time without feeling guilty. Your videos do inspire me to slow down and consider self-care!
Yes! Life is too short to feel guilty when taking time for ourselves and not being productive. We're allowed to enjoy our life, not just 'do life' :) Take care and enjoy some time for self care!
I have decluttered the idea that "A night slept is a night wasted". Are you familiar with it or do you remember how at university for example everyone would say "Oh I can pull two all-nighters!" "Who cares for sleep when there is so much stuff going on?!". I used to be like that as well. Now I started valuing my sleep hygiene, sleeping routine and it's the best thing I have done for myself in years! I feel energised, I feel fresh, I have time for a morning walk and I don't need hectoliters of coffee to keep me going through my day! 🙂
Love that! Sleep is one of the most important things for me too :)
"you can sleep when you're dead" is a mindset that doesn't serve us well.
Vera, I resonate with numbers 4 and 7. At 74 years old, life is too short to worry about things that are not that important. Thank you as always for an inspirational video. Sending hugs ❤
Aw thanks Cathy, glad those points resonated with you. Sending a high five your way!!!
Thank you Vera. Very helpful advice - especially that it’s ok to be the villain in someone else’s story. I have a colleague who has a problem with me and I don’t really know why because I try my best to be friendly and supportive of her. Thanks for helping me let go of this.
You're so welcome! Things like that can be tough, but in the end, we can only control our own actions. :) Take care and have a wonderful rest of your weekend!
Oh I love you so much, - - I am allowed to have off days, weeks, months and even years! This hit my heart with so much warmth. Thank you so much! Oh yes! the older we get the less we need to have everyone like us - I am 78! No worries - I am not friends with those who don't like me and I am not the villain! Oh for sure, my body is soooo different - I am up for dental surgery and false teeth soon and last night I lost my front upper tooth. So I had to say I am beautiful ten times in the mirror this morning! All of your topics are so correct and thank you so much for sharing your wisdom! Love and Hugs from Laara in Canada
When I'm running back and forth, worried about the ton of things I need to do or I'm out walking very fast I think "I have all the time in the world" and I slow down. It really works and it's my favourite trick.
I love your videos. 🙂
My mantra is “All the time I have is all the time I need.”
For me, I would say the one thing I've rethought is that not everything you own has value. I struggled with just giving things away, thinking about "I paid this much for it, I should sell it." First off, sometimes selling stuff is more complicated than it's worth and second, what is wrong with being charitable and donating those items. When I donate something nice now, I think "I hope the right person comes along and it makes them feel as though they've found a treasure."
That's so true! I struggle with the same concept. I have some clothes that I haven't (or have barely) worn and I still keep them because they are "valuable". I really want to donate them but can't shake the feeling that I must try to sell them first, despite that selling causes me a lot of stress. I've donated some of them, but still have a few pieces hanging around in my closet :(
This❤ I’ll be listening to this one on repeat!
Hi Vera, I have for the first time in my life, been Decluttering the people in my life whose relationships cause me stress and anxiety. I feel like I have more time for me now. And, I know the time I spend with me is quality time. I’m not constantly second guessing if this person is being real with me or why today they are nice and tomorrow they are crappy with me. I gave up going through all of that grief and anxiety and gave myself grace to have peace in my life.
Way to go!!! That's great Deborah :) Sending a hug your way
Watching the Indian clip in the gardening section in the intro made me happy.
And your content is amazing. The ideas, the thoughts and the vibes are so much relatable. Love from India 🇮🇳
Omg, Vera!!!! I feel so old!!! I didn’t realize how much time had passed, until you mentioned your age!! I’ve been watching you now for at least 6 years, and I cannot tell you how much you’ve helped this 48 year old woman get rid of so much physical and mental clutter over time. As a therapist, I appreciate these videos, as they serve as reminders and allow me to see how far I’ve come.
Thank you so much for such great and beneficial content. ☕️ 🫖 💞
Aw that's amazing, thank you for being around all this time! That warms my heart 🥰🥰🥰🥰
❤Neuroplasticity is powerful in changing our life for better or worse. I loved your take on it in this video. Bravo Vera! ❤😊
Thank you :) Have a lovely weekend!
It absolutely is! I had long covid for 4 months earlier this year. It was the darkest time of my life, but what got me through it was telling myself “This too shall pass. The suffering will end. I will come out stronger from this.” Since I’ve recovered, a lot of things that used to be normal for me took time to get back into doing again, but several months later, I feel so much better and have regained so much strength. It truly is a blessing and wonderful way to approach situations in life. ❤️🕊️
You are just delightful. You share your life experiences/observations with grace and a lightness that is refreshing. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and suggestions for living a full and enjoyable life.
Aw thank you, that's such a nice compliment :) Have a wonderful rest of your weekend!
I can understand how difficult it is to handle the ''scarcity mindset," specifically when it pertains to relationships.
For me, time feels fleeting and like I'm always running out of it. It slips through my fingers like sand through a sieve. There is nothing I can do to keep people in my life. They always leave. Either because they die, or just move away. I don't have many close friends, and all of them are many hours away by car, keeping our contact minimal. This constant awareness is exhausting and puts a lot of unnecessary weight into every one of my interactions with others, and into what I choose to spend my time on besides them. I don't know how to shake the feelings I get around it, as it's incredibly isolating. When I bring it up, that I feel like every moment should be appreciated and savoured because it's so fleeting and precious, people tend to be put off. I tend to be put off. It doesn't seem to come from a place of gratitude, but of fear and loneliness and lack.
Trying to change the perspective I have on it seems to be a struggle for me, because it is wrapped in a pretty bow, made to look like something healthy. It poisons how I view myself and the way I spend my time and energy. If I didn't "seize the day" in the most productive or helpful way, I feel like I've "wasted" something vitally important. Something I can never get back.
Unattainable standards of perfection are a whole deal. I struggle to sit with the discomfort of not having things "just so." Keeping my home spotless is definitely a control issue. I want to feel like I have control over my immediate environment. To feel safe. That seems to require a clean floor, at the least. I walk barefoot and hate feeling like I have stuff stuck to the bottoms of my feet. I've made concessions to a slightly less perfect floor, as I have cats and it was too much to force myself to clean it multiple times a day any longer. Making room in my life for something other than cleaning. Those standards apply to everything I do. Loosening them a bit to allow myself more fun experiences, in stead of focusing on the end goal of a product I can be proud of has helped somewhat, but it's still very much a work in progress.
I want to learn more skills and explore new ideas. I'm hoping to free up more space in my life for fun and lovely relationships with others. I have very limited resources, and accepting that seems to be the key to doing those things. I have to accept my limitations in order to better work with and around them. Accepting my needs is a step in that, as well. It means listening to myself and not pushing so hard anymore. Unfortunately, my emotional needs (like for creativity and human connection) seem to fall off the end of my list, as I have too many things in front of them. There is very little room for me in my life, the way I've been living it. I am currently attempting to take steps to change that, but it all feels so tiring to manage at this moment.
Thank you for the reminder to slow down and breathe. Your videos help hold a mirror to myself, so I can see what I'm doing to keep myself from the peace and joy I crave, and what steps I can try to take to get closer to those things.
I hope you have a lovely weekend!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! I'm so glad to hear you're enjoying my videos and finding them helpful in that way :) Keep taking good care! Wishing you a lovely rest of your weekend too 🤗🌱
@@SimpleHappyZen You're a wonderful human. Thank you. Hope your weekend was as lovely as you are, and that your week ahead is fabulous, too.
I agree with #5. I’ve never been apart of a friend group. It used to be hard in school because I had friends but I wasn’t part of a group. Now, I feel like I always had true friends for those periods of my life.
I especially relate to the scarcity mentally and doing things half-assed (which made me laugh to hear you say it). My scarcity mentality, like yours, was because I grew up in the family that didn’t have a lot of money. I’m now OK and it’s all because I stopped stressing about having so many household items in stock, especially when it comes to health and beauty items. I used to get so stressed out if I didn’t always keep extra containers of deodorant, toothpaste, hairspray, etc. Now I know if I’m running low or I run out, I can just drive to the store and buy more. It took a lot of stress away.
When you talked about half-assing things, that’s also something I’ve gotten much better about. I used to put pressure on myself to finish every book I started. Now, if I’ve read 50-100 pages and it’s still not interesting, I take the book back to the library. There are too many great books to force myself to read something that isn’t interesting. When I’m learning new things, sometimes I find that I’m just not as interested as I thought I’d be, so I no longer put that pressure on myself to continue to learn about something that really doesn’t interest me.
Love what you shared, thanks. Especially the part about books :) So true! Take care and have a lovely day!
"I can just drive to the store and buy more." Some people just never learn. One of the reasons you should stock up is because the economy is not going to get better. The price you pay for something today is going to be far less than it will be in 2 years. You'll be using deodorant in 2024 prices in 2025 or 2026.
@@amyg.5376😂😂😂😂😂
This video hit home. It felt like you made this video about me, haha! In truth, just before clikcing this video, I had made the decision to stop obsessing over jobs, careers, and education. I am in my 30's and I've never really known what to do in that department, but obsessing was really tearing me down. Thank you for this video. I'll be watching again because I want to really absorb your message. ❤
Thank you so much for your kind comment and I love what you shared about not obsessing over your career and education. I can relate a bit, since my career is also kind of all over the place hihi, and I have no idea what I would do if my channel stopped for some reason. Like you, I choose not to worry about it :) Things will turn out fine. Have a wonderful rest of your weekend, sending a hug your way!
Very insightful ideas and tips, as always. Thank you, Vera!
Several of your points really resonate with me right now as I just moved into a new house by myself. It’s a relief to have a minimal amount of things and to arrange them just how I like. My pitfall is that it always needs to be perfectly clean and when it’s not, this creates anxiety. I’m trying to Embrace Imperfection.
Glad you enjoyed the video :) Yes, embracing imperfection can be so nice and freeing! :)
In regards to No8, there’s a similar quote I like and use: “If something is worth doing, it’s worth doing badly”. Meaning you’re a) learning, and b) at least doing it.
This is one of my favourite videos by you. It's so helpful to hear someone talk about these things. Mayn of these mindsets are carved deep and it's not easy to get rid of them, still they cause so much stress and worry in life if we cling to them. So thank you for opening up!
# 2 options is the reason my house is cluttered. Smart! Thanks for this Sat.morning video to "reset my empty cup" 💞
Wishing you a happy Saturday morning! 🤗🍵
I've been battling with body shape change and what clothes suit me. I found seeing people similar is encouraging to see what works. It's been a fun ride with a positive mindset ❤ your tips are very encouraging ❤
I agree, that's very helpful for me as well :) Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful rest of your weekend!! Take care and thanks as always for the good vibes 🌹🤗🌳
This is a very nice video.Thank you!💮🌈🦋😊
Inspirational, excellent, and delivered in such a lovely, sincere way; you’re a gifted communicator! You look beautiful🌸. Also, you look, at least, a decade younger than your age 🌞.
Aw thank you for your kind comment!! 🤗❤️ Take care and have a lovely day
Half-assing is such a powerful skill!
I agree 😁
Entering my villain era 🦹🏽♀️ Love it!!
I absolutely love your latest content. I usually watch your video several times. First as a background and as an ASM when I'm doing things and don't have time to sit down. Your voice is so soothing, it truly brings peace to an overstimulated mind. Then I watch it again, this time really paying attention to your words. Your content is so rich in value, there are no fillers. And it's so relatable! I love the personal approach, one can tell that you're speaking from your own experience. Thank you for the time and effort you put into these videos 🫶
In the morning, I close my eyes and take a blouse out from my drawer. Then match with pants or skirt. Works well!
Sounds beautiful👗
Okay that's amazing.😂❤
Love that :)
So many of the lessons you speak of I’ve experienced myself. Maybe it’s a somewhat universal truth we go through as we age. 💜I’ve come to learn that your worth isn’t related to your output. I used to push myself too much…
True, what are we all rushing around for anyway? Most things don't actually need doing.
OMG VERA! you are so right about so many things! I am now 38, and I still forget that my body is not 20, and that I cannot eat anything I want, I have to be more conscious about food to be healthy. Also your points about accepting other peoples point of view on situations you are involved in. It is always perspective, never one truth in any situation. Thank you for reminding us of your nuggets of wisdom
Thanks you for your good advice to remind us that is okay if everything is not always perfect and productive 😊
You're so welcome, have a nice day!
Very important advices on my next step in living simple and valuable. Thank u Vera
You're so welcome, glad you enjoyed it! 🤗🌱🍵
I decluttered to think about, what others might think of me when I do this and that or wear this or that kind of clothers.. that is so toxic altogether anyway and now I am feeling so much better about myself. :)
Yes!! So excited to see this on your channel coming from a neuroplasticity and holistic coach!
Nice!!! 🤗👍
I loved this video so much. So much of it resonated with me. Thank you and have a wonderful rest of your weekend❤️
So glad you enjoyed it!! Wishing you a lovely rest of your weekend too 🤗🌳❤️
@ Thank you😊
Such a good video! I can relate to everything that you are saying. Sending you positive vibes for a happy and serene weekend!
Aw thank you! You too!
Im new to your channel. I love your calm, confident energy. So grounding. It’s like listening to a sister/mentor. Thank you for sharing all your amazing advice with us. ❤
Aw thank you, and a big welcome to the channel!! 🤗👍🌱
Thank you for this wonderful video, Vera 😊 I need to watch and hear it again! The scarcity mindset has been one I've been working on for years and it's been a nice change.
"I am not my productivity" is my current challenge. But it has been so freeing to feel self-worth outside of my accomplishments. It's like, my soul can rest now and I can feel content in doing "nothing," which involves a lot of saying "no" to activities and demands and developing a balanced life.
Your videos are my safe place 🥰really felt the one of "being the villain in another person's story". You just have to accept that you cannot control everything, as long as you feel aligned with the way you react and act I think this is the most important
Exactly! That one really resonated with me as well :) Take care and have a lovely Sunday!
@@SimpleHappyZen You too ❤😃
Seems like you’re both a hero and a villain or NPC depending on one’s perspective. It is what it is, but it’s good to just go about your life the best you can with what works for you without harm.
It took me 17 years of battling against my ADHD to develop the kind of discipline I exercised THIS year in being consistently productive. While I'm proud of all the videos and music I made, it didn't fix my self worth problem, or if it did, it only help a fraction of it heal. Productivity isn't everything and yeah we should not define our self worth by it. It's like no wonder so many people are burnt out and there's so much content out there ABOUT burnout. A lot of people have fallen victim to the hustle mind virus.
@TheSinlessAssassin Congratulations on your exercise goals achieve this year. It takes alot somedays to get out there and continue. Celebrate any achievements
Mindset to declutter is that everything depends on me. ☺️
Yes, we can also depend on others sometimes and we don't have to do everything alone :) Good one!
Hi Vera!! I really enjoyed your video, as always. Thank you so much. I’d say a mindset Ive declutterred is that if I’ve missed doing something on a certain day of week, just keep going and don’t stress about it. Progress not perfection. ❤😅Be kind to myself.
You inspired this perfectionist to “half ass”!! I’ve missed out so much in life because I have to be perfect or succeed at whatever I do:( My new motto when it comes to try new things is “H A”!!!
Great topic!! Btw your hair looks amazing!
Aw thanks! 😁
I love your videos so much Vera. I always feel so much better when I can watch your videos. I’m 62 and have decluttered my home. It isn’t a minimalist home but feels so much better. Love from Canada.
❤ yes my body changed and I now have chronic illnesses psoriatica arthritis and hyperthyroidism started in my 50th year. Trying to live healthily all my life it is hard to accept but acceptance is necessary as I need to rest when needed, take meds I don't want. I am still valuable now teaching even older people ukulele. My body changed and my life changed. ❤
Thank you for sharing your thoughts Erika, I think it's great and really inspiring how you're working on acceptance after and during change. Keep taking good care of yourself. Sending you a hug 🤗🌱🌹
Lovely to see you Vera! I used to have an incredibly vicious inner critic. It took some work, but I let go of that inner dialogue and replaced it with a loving, encouraging inner coach. It’s a form of radical self-care. Full transparency… It’s been a struggle to grasp onto any positive thinking this week. It’s not just the election, my son is struggling with his mental health and it’s a heavy, heavy thing to carry as a mom. This too shall pass. He is in a safe enough place and getting the space needed to reset his nervous system. All will be well again. I can do hard things and so can he.
Thank you for sharing your encouraging coach's wise words here. ❤
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts Nanette. I'm so sorry to hear about your and your son's struggles, I think it's great how you're dealing with things and showing up like that. Very inspiring. Keep taking good care of yourself! Sending you a hug
I love that! I may be a slow hiker but I am free to half ass it! Yes! 😁
Oh, yes, this so resonated with me, too! Thank you, Vera!
You inspire me! I love your videos!
Aw thank you! :)
I really needed to hear Nr1, so thank you Vera
You're very welcome! Take care and enjoy some time for self-care! :)
Thank you Vera for this video!
I esp. related with the 10th point... Balancing your work with your needs... That balance is so very important for our well-being, and joy.
Thanks for the wonderful video and ideas!! You have a calming approach that really helps. God bless.
Numbers 8 and 9 really resonated… this idea that I have to be the best at everything I do. When I picture my life and my yoga practice I think that I have to be as good as a yoga instructor when actually that’s no why I’m doing it at all and don’t have that desire so why am I letting it stop me from even doing one small practice… the human brain is a marvel sometimes 😂
Really enjoyed this and found it helpful to hear someone else talk about things I deal with also. Your words are full of wisdom. Please know that your efforts to encourage others is appreciated.
You are so wise for your young age of 36! Thank you for sharing and reminding us what is really important.
Aw thank you Sarah 🤗🍵❤️ Take care and have a lovely rest of your weekend!
Hi Vera! Talk about how our bodies change I pretty much weighed 115 most of my adult life and I’m 5’4. Now that I’m 62 I’m 132 and I look so much better and healthier! When I look at my old pics I see how bad I actually looked. That was just my metabolism! I’m a lot happier now😊
I went through life coaching training (I am certified) and very much we were trained that you can change your mindset and therefore make differences in your life to reach your goals.
Like you, my house is also never messy...but because I have made good habits that have led me to know how to maintain it well and have hardly anything to upkeep because we don't own a lot.
I really enjoyed your list. Well done.
One in progress for me, is that I must be 'productive' in terms of outputs at all times. I'm learning that there is such a thing as productive rest. It's easy to know the theory, compared to the practice, but reminders like this really help.
Thank you for being so open. I have the money scarcity mindset too. And my husband and i have always argues about this. He thinks i don't trust him with money. But growing up like you, where money was a thing, it is hard for me to let go. Now be both are changing our jobs and we will move to a smaller Appartement. All my fears comes up. We will see how this will work out. Don't like the between situation like hanging in the air. But i learned life will go on, changing is a part of life. And it could turn out good, so welcome all feelings and go through the time.
A special thanks for sharing point 5. My case is exactly the same. Quality over quantity.
I love this video sooo much! Thank you as always 🥰
Happy Saturday, Vera! 🍵🕊️ Really love this video so much! Something that has helped me a ton lately in decluttering as a mindset was to not allow my emotions or mental health be affected by politics or what is outside of my control. Here in America, we have this culture of politics and pride so deeply engrained into us from young no matter where we live in the states, and it can really consume us. I saw how deeply it was affecting me several years ago, and I’m so glad I made that change for my life; it was so forward-thinking. :)
Yes, I think that's a really good one, thanks for sharing! It's challenging to accept what we can't change, and to focus on what we can change, but it's so helpful and it can allow us to keep going and showing up in the world as our best selves. Take care and have a wonderful weekend!!
@@SimpleHappyZen Completely agree. It is so transformative for us and allows us to take on the role of the advocate for others in need. Thank you so much, Vera!! Have a great weekend!
One of your best videos ever! Thank you 🙏
Hi Vera thank you so much for this it resonates so much with myself 😘 and just wanted to say your hair is looking so thick and healthy ❤️
Wow. Number 3. That was powerful. Thank you. I've spent so much energy on that one, struggling with how my imperfections and mistakes (or boundaries!) have turned me into the villain in someone else's mind. In turn, they often become the villain in my mind. Sometimes it's best just to learn from your mistakes, forgive yourself, and move on without trying to control other people's minds and actions. It's hard work but perhaps the most simple, happy, and zen-like way. :-)
My take away from this video is that you and I should be friends!! If only we lived on the same continent! I share so many (possibly all) of the same thought patterns that you have already, or are still trying to declutter. I imagine we have very similar personalities.
I think the thought that has helped me the most to change behaviour patterns is “how do I really feel about this? Like deep down in my soul?”I find it frees me from conforming to societal expectations or the expectations of family and friends. I used to do so many things because I felt I “should” do them - even if I knew doing so was not good for me.
I needed a little zen, thanks for the video ❤
I decluttered the mindset that I have to finish everything I've started. I used to push through books and movies I don't really like because I thought I have to finish them. Not anymore. I don't waste my time on this. If I don't enjoy it, I stop it and that is so freeing.
I would love to hear more about how you have learned how to overcome your time scarcity mindset. This is something I really struggle with. Thank you for your encouraging videos!
Fabulous as always Vera, thank you. Have a lovely Sunday xx ❤
I overthink a lot but I'll give it a chance ❤
🤗🌱🍵
I love half-assing things. Two years ago I started learning how to play ukulele, and I still play now and then, but I feel I do not need to become a perfect ukulelist. I just like to strum about a bit and do a little song now and then. This year, my husband gave me a guitar for our wedding anniversary, so now I am looking for a couple of guitar lessons to learn the basics, and then will go for maybe an online course like skillshare to learn some more.
Talking about bodies ... I am in my fifties now and I really had a hard time accepting my body changes due to menopause. Over the time, I came to accepting that, as you say, I am not twenty anymore (and I do not want to be twenty anymore), and I am mostly okay with how my body looks like now. I also changed the way I dress a little bit to feel comfortable in clothes that actually fit my body and give a damn to the number on the size tag. :)
I am working on my scarcity mindset right now, focussing on time. As you said, there is an abundance of time in the world, and everything will work out fine in the end, and there is no need to rush, and there will always be a few minutes or an hour left for me-time - but I really, really have to remind me about this all the time.
@@autorinmitkatze I started ukulele four years ago and I love it! It is great to learn something new. Hope you manage to play guitar. I decided to stick to uku but may ask for a tenor for Christmas
N 6 I'm very with it. Resources ARE limited. Being aware of this is paramount.
Vera, love you for such a gentle and comforting content❤❤What is your zodiac sign?🥰💭
Aw thank you so much! I'm a leo :)
Hoi Vera! Ik reageer eigenlijk nooit (stille kijker ;)) maar toen ik weer zat te denken hoe goed deze trui je staat dacht ik: ga ik toch even zeggen ;) Ik herinner me dat je weleens zei dat je waarschijnlijk een lichte zomer bent, maar met jouw zachtheid en beetje warmte erbij denk ik persoonlijk dat je weleens een zachte herfst zou kunnen zijn, of tussen zachte zomer en herfst (neutraal?) maar dan licht. Ik geloof dat de typische zachte herfst of zomers wat donkerder zijn, en jouw staan lichte kleuren echt top! maar volgens mij is de zachtheid ook echt een factor, en een beetje warmte. Die geelachtige trui die je hebt staat je ook echt heel goed namelijk. Nou dat waren mijn two cents ;) bedankt voor je leuke video's!
Aaw dankje! :) Ja als ik zo kijk online dan zou dat inderdaad ook wel kunnen kloppen... Ik gebruik nu ook een net iets andere setting op mijn camera waardoor de kleuren er iets warmer uitzien dan de setting die ik hiervoor altijd had, dus dat zou ook iets kunnen uitmaken. Maar ik probeer inderdaad vooral te kijken naar zachte en lichte kleuren :) Fijne maandag nog!!!!
@@SimpleHappyZen Ah dat kan zeker een rol spelen, en je weet dat zelf het beste :) Het feit dat die gele/bruine/oranje (wat is de kleur haha) trui je zo mooi staat is wel een teken dat zachtheid voor jou een hele belangrijke rol speelt. Stiekem ben ik een beetje jaloers haha, ik hou het meest van zachte herfstkleuren maar ik ben een true summer dus koel. Dan kijk ik maar naar mensen die het wel leuk staat haha.
I like you! The you I know via these short videos. 😂 You have good advice and a calm mien that I appreciate. I am a fellow HSP. May you and your life partner be well.
Thank you for this video, I enjoyed it a lot! ♥ The aspect of having several deep 1:1 friendships, but no real friend group is also such a thing for me! I'd like to be part of a community where everyone is also mindful, empathetic and kind, so it doesn't get overwhelming or stressful to be around 3 or more people at the same time! 😅 I've experienced this once on a yoga retreat for a couple of days and it felt so safe and warm! 🥰 But the thing that I struggle most with is not even the 1:1 aspect (I love concentrating on one person and our dynamic), but living rather far away from them, so I don't see them in person very often, let alone spontaneously for a walk for example. I miss that! :( Hearing you talk about it makes me feel a little less alone and makes me want to be one of your 1:1 friends as well! :D ♥
It was a very interesting video! ❤ Good content! 👍😊
This all resonates so much! 🙏🏻💚💖
Many thanks for helping me to change my mindset and decluttering etc etc etc. Interesting to share the various hobbies. Everything is a work in progress...
I am much older and I don't care much anymore. I can let go of things and people. Oh yes my body has changed a lot and had 3 children. I have changed my diet to a healthier one. I really like your train of thoughts thinking outload. Deep connections are more meaningful. Abundance mindset whereby I am greatly grateful and count every blessings in our life. Alhamdulillah. Somehow everything works out. Just make adjustments and make do with what there is.
Great video. Thank you
I used to have the scarcity mindset because of economic insecurity throughout my childhood. Even after I got a grip on my own finances and we started making good money I was always worried about losing it all. I finally have gotten to a place where I don't have to obsess about future what-if scenarios and I can just enjoy the security we have now. I try to keep it in perspective. I have a roof over my head, food, clothing, heat and electricity. The rest is not as important as I think.
That is how I try to think too. The rest are just wants / nice to haves but not essential. Unlike needs, which are few, the list of wants can be endless.
Love your content . 💕