having an identity crisis? watch this !
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- Опубликовано: 5 авг 2024
- having an identity crisis? hopefully this will help! life is complicated and sometimes when you’re sad or confused you just don’t know what to do. i’ve tried looking for videos when i was in the midst of my multiple questionings of life’s purpose but i didn’t really find many helpful videos. i made this video to hopefully crystallize what to do when you feel unsure about yourself. this video is also about mental health and finding yourself and self-discovery type things.
UPDATE: HEY it's me from the future, I made another video, 3 years later talking about having an identity crisis, here's the link:
• Still Having an Identi...
i make music so this is the link to my single called the ground that holds you
distrokid.com/hyperfollow/sar...
Social media:
Instagram: / sarah_krohn
Facebook: / sarahkrohnmusic
Twitter: / sezzaorsmthn
Bandcamp: sarahkrohn.bandcamp.com/track...
Soundcloud: / user-252196209 
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I'm 20 and I have this constant feeling of wanting to combust. every time I see a movie I want to take on the personality, dress sense and every other trait of the main character as if that'll give me purpose. SO MUCH FUN
RIGHT every time i watch a movie or become obsessed with band i just want to be them. and i’ve been doing this since i was 12 and i wonder what i’m actually like when i’m not taking on inspiration from something else 🤔
This is exactly what my problem is. People don't understand it and tell me to "just wear and do what I want" but it just seems impossible for me to do that
@@sjoukje4777 that is exactly the problem, like, obviously your surroundings influence you in a way, but i feel like i just became them, and that i don't have anything that is really myself, but then again this kind of makes me myself, idk if it makes sense, i don't understand myself either but yeah
@@llyr123 I think I understand that :)You get so much information from movies, people around you, social media, magazines etc that you don't know who YOU are. I hate it
SAME. It's like I'm cosplaying but when im out of character it gets really hard to interact with people without it
One of my main problem is that I can’t seem to find what am I really passionate about. I have so many interests but I never put something that I could say I love.
i feel the same!! i have so many interests how am i supposed to choose. so i’m just like mediocre at all of them. so then i guess the only thing i’m good at is having a lot of interests lol
Exactly how I feel! My friends label me of the aesthetic "kawaii" or "pastel" but then the next day I'm interested everything else! I'm always changing what I want. Some people just don't understand.
I feel like I’m constantly changing and I act extremely different with different people, and I feel like they see me completely different. Also I base how I see myself on characters I like in shows, and the picture of myself always changes. And when I try to ignore it I just feel like I’m acting and literally do not know who I am :/
i feel that sooooo much. try not to stress about it though because i think that’s normal to an extent, and like it’s okay. you’re you, whatever it feels like you’re still you
A related factor may also be the fact that some people may greatly enjoy certain things, such as certain clothing/aesthetic etc. and it may be difficult to convey without a lot of judgment or why or how certain things come in to play.
I feel the same!!
oh my god..that 'seeing myself like someone else' is so relatable. i was not able to explain it earlier. and not only on characters, but real life people too..like i see myself like them? i dont know!'😂
Feeling like this is what brought me here.
I dont know, i have this weird feeling that i have so many personalities inside of me. One day i am sure i want to be some free spirit living in Thailand and drinking coconut milk, other day i feel like i want to be some classy lady living in ny and drinking champagne, and it is every day. I just can’t stand that i can’t find my identity. And it is not that simple as “just be yourself”. No, everyone around me has found who they are and are happy with it. Im just stuck. It is 1000 harder because i have IG with thousands of followers, and people are waiting to see their view of myself, i hate that they have so many different views of me. And i feel like i confuse them too because one day i am some girly girl and other i’m just completely different, i change my style of clothing, speech, feed, vibe every day. And like.. aghh.. it is not easy. :(((
i feel you so much!! things get so much more complicated when you add in social media and everything. i think what i’ve been telling myself recently is that it’s okay to have different parts of yourself. humans are complex and social media makes us think we need to have a brand and define ourselves but maybe we don’t. and maybe everyone else doesn’t really have it figured out, and if they think they do, they might just be closing themselves off from change new experiences. it’s all very confusing sometimes but i think if you can accept yourself for who you are, and not who you want to be, i think then you’ve won the game. hope u feel less confused about all of this, sometimes it just takes some experimentation and time
YES YES OMG
Iswear that’s me right now and it’s so frustrating. How did you overcome this?
@@lubabaafridi Girlie, hi! It's been 3 years since my comment and i'm glad you replied now! So the update- i took a year off social media and i let myself just be. I was so scared to do it, but it was the best decision of my life. When you are not looking at social media and actively posting as well, you might lose some people around you, but you find yourself. You disconnect from the outside validation and social pressure and connect to yourself and your power. I embraced my diversity and started to celebrate it. I went on a solo trip to THAILAND just 2 weeks ago and i was drinking my coconut juice in peace. Yesterday i went on a solo date to a fancy restaurant and i was drinking my champagne in peace, without the feeling of how i portray myself. The ultimate peace is within, literally!!! Most of the times this identity crisis comes from the feeling of how we look to others. I gained the ultimate peace in my diversity and i started thinking 'damn, this girl is so cool, she has so many sides and passions and she is going for it!'
And this is such an amazing feeling - this is who i am, i don't have to find myself, i am myself, i'm creating myself every single day WITHOUT even knowing, i don't have to prove anything to anyone.
I also broke up, it's my first year being single, and the best year ever. The best year to deeply connect to myself without external validation. I've come to a conclusion that the things you do, wear, your profession, is not what defines you as a person or a soul. Because it's external. And nothing external can bring us ultimate peace in who we are.
And that is the most comforting feeling in the world. Everything else will flow naturally from there. Much lovessss!!!
I really needed this. I'm 18 and I feel like I've lost myself entirely. I don't know who I am anymore.
i’m so glad you got something from it :) i’m currently 19 and i feel a little lost sometimes but you’ll figure it out, try not to stress about it :)
Try to run away from these guys. Run like a mazafaka and don’t look back!
damn girl :(
you better now, right?
@tinabogojevic8052 Sadly, no. I've had little glimmers of inspiration here and there but currently I still feel pretty lost. It's okay though, I'm really starting to do some inner work so im sure I'll figure this life thing out eventually😅😂
I do. I have reason to believe that my ASD makes me stand out and makes others perceive me a certain way. Do you know how often I said dumb things, like at work? I stupidly mentioned a man’s right to hit a woman for self-defense, and a new coworker proposed a new topic. And I doubt she likes me, because when I was casually chatting with a baker while waiting for the desserts, she entered and said “harassing the baker, John?” I asked why she thought that, and she said “Because you’re John.” Or how about the time I told a coworker (whom I didn’t think would resent this, since he’s clownish, snuck up on a guy, and once made a weight joke to him) “put a sock in your àss. I mean mouth.” Of course, he actually did resent that and told me I can’t speak to him that way. I didn’t intend harm; he had interrupted a question of mine to another worker to (if I remember correctly) playfully diss me. I guess I was annoyed with the clownish interruption, but I didn’t mean for it to be obvious. When I apologized later, he replied unfairly: “you’re good, man. You just need to learn how to speak to people.” Way to make me feel better. And that's not the worst part. I was once taken to my boss's office with her and a high-ranking chef. The chef told me that I've been touching my coworkers too much. Not THAT type of touch, of course not! Just casual ones, like on arms or shoulders. I was always very outgoing at work. When I asked her if anyone reported a complaint, she said it didn't matter (so I guess yes). She told me that we need the workers to be comfortable in a good work environment; that I pretty much shouldn't talk about anything other than work and school (we're a university's catering service). That I shouldn't tell my stories because they may be inappropriate to my coworkers. Now yeah, I pretty much don't have a filter, and sometimes I guess I do say "inappropriate" stuff at work, but not horribly nor intentionally. I just like to joke around and have fun with people. I really didn't get specific information from the chef about what and who. She understands/ likes that I'm outgoing, but she made it sound risky and in need of limits, for good behavior and my coworkers' sake. And again, that I shouldn't touch them without consent. But seriously, I'm not a creep or Joe Biden. I didn't mean to be so "handsy." I'm so embarrassed about the lecture. Have I really gone that far at work? I've been hating myself since then. If I got into some accident, I would actually want the chef and the boss to see it. Now that might sound harsh and maybe spiteful, but let's just put it this way: if someone I disliked got injured, I wouldn't care at all about their faults, I would just want them okay. I would suddenly appreciate them, you know?
I thought that I had a good sense of myself and my self worth, but today I realized how flimsy it actually was. I based those things on the fact I’m smart, a high achiever, etc. when that was even slightly challenged, it started to crumble. It came down so fast I didn’t even realize I was in the ruins and rubble of my own identity. I began to question what my identity was before, what even is a self identity. I thought I made so much progress, but now I’m realizing I was only able built so high because the materials I used for my tower were cheap and flimsy.
I’m 21, and I feel complete hopelessness and confusion. Thank you for this video, it’s such a joy to find a person who came across at least some similar problems. I hope one day I can wake up without any addiction and feeling of total white noise 24/7. Thank you and I wish you all the best! You’re beautiful in every way imaginable, never forget that!
thank you so much! and i hope you feel better than you feel now soon! if you want any more encouragement, i literally just posted an updated video talking about identity crises this past week (since this video is like 3 years old)
So happy I'm not the only one.
you summed it up perfectly, i'm gonna go cry about how there are actually hundreds of other people experiencing this exact same problem and i hope we can get through it together ♡
❤️🍄
For me, like I’ve been criticized for how I talk and how I look, but one of the main problems for me is that I’m acting differently to different people and I don’t know which one is myself anymore. I’m not quite sure if I like some of the things I do or if it’s just something I do because others are doing it. Thank you for the video! I will try to write about it and hopefully this will be over soon!
I think whatever feels good to you is the best option! Try not to get caught up in defining what is exactly you. It’s okay to alter the way you act in different situations
I feel like I don’t wanna know my real self cuz I’m not sure what type of person I would be, I don’t like that I have fake personalities but it’s very complicated and it’s easier to just be fake
i know it’s scary and i know it’s hard to dig down to your real self, but i promise you, it’s so worth it. dodie has talked about devoting one day a week to just open up the door inside your mind and deal with whatever is in there. you probably don’t even realize how much stuff is affecting you until you look. but once you do, you can take control of your life and work through it :))
@@SarahKrohn but what if i know I would be harmful and toxic to others if I acted how my true self would I can’t control it so from a young age I made a people in my head and used one of the people depending on the person I’m meeting to please them so I don’t know who I really am but I know I’m bad I want to be myself but I don’t wanna I’m scared too IM SO COMPLICATED I’m sorry
i don’t think you’re as bad as you think you are. and maybe if you distance yourself from other toxic people and do this inner work on your own and maybe be aware of how you act towards other people, you can manage it all. it may be overwhelming but with time you’ll become more comfortable with it
@@zainahalireza6171 I do the exact same thing, and I get it. Like damn we got it down bad. I have completely reorganized my personality traits to make different personas for me to put on around certain people. At first it was a game to me, and I enjoyed it. But now I’m so lost and bored of doing it and I’m trying to find out who my actual personality is, except everything is separated. It feels like the different personalities i’ve created are all trying to come out on top. Now I just act bitchy because it’s the only way I feel like i can act without jumbling all my personas.
@@oliviabrown8298 thank u for taking time to write this it makes me feel like I’m not alone. I feel the exact same way it was all games until it hit me I’m lost I don’t know who I am I don’t know what others think I am cuz I don’t even know who I am. I just feel empty when I’m alone like I just exist here but not really existing it’s so hard to explain but this problem really effects my life in everything I do, relationships friendships etc..
Thank you so much for making this video. I’m an eighth grader and I just realized how much of an identity crisis I am going through. This really helps. Thank you.
:)
stop I love how calm and beautiful your voice is. it makes me feel a lot more reassured about this. thank you!
I do journal buuuut it’s so crappy, just found it under my desk and I was like meh why not.
I’m constantly questioning myself and my place on earth, right now I have a choice to make, either I go with my artsy passion or I go with my science passion. It’s hard but I’ve realised that I might have to go with the artsy one to put my health first because I’m not really in a good place to go through the kind of pressure I would if I go with science (I’m talking about a Swedish thing where you are to choose a major for 10-12th grade and switch school, it’s kinda hard to explain) this video definitely helped, just knowing that I’m not alone in this is helpful enough. Thanks
if you’re not liking journaling, find something else! like some people get the same benefits of journaling but they do music or art or meditation instead. and i wish you luck on deciding which ~path of life~ to take, i will be choosing whether or not to sell my soul to the world of economics pretty soon, so i feel you! do what feels right and seems like you, the present circumstances might be guiding you along the way you need to go! or at least you might learn something :-)
i appreciate you making this so much!! it calmed me down a lot and gave me motivation to try new things! i will definitely try your tips and advices. much love xoxo
Hi!! I just wanna say thank you so much for this video. I've been struggling for quite a long time, but this helped a lot💗
8th grade Sarah is probably crying rn
"Am I Sara? Or Sarah? Who am I!"
This helped, thank you.
i am so glad :-)
Your actually amazing in explaining this...
Very underrated video and honestly this should be shown in schools. Thank you ^^ (love your vibes btw)
thanks so much! maybe i should be one of those people that go around schools and give assemblies while all the kids fall asleep
@@SarahKrohn Yeah xD i reckon you'd do great and especially for kids dealing with identiy crisis/gender dysphoria , it would give them comfort to know they're not alone
@@alantis5955 that makes me happy :)
Just wanted you to know that your bangs are gorgeous. They flatter your face and person so well❤️
Thanks a lot your video really helped me and made me think that it’s okay to feel those feelings and I’m not alone really thanks💐
I feel like this video was make specifically for me! Almost all the things you mentioned perfectly described me! I’ve been overthinking literally everything about myself, my character, and my interests. There’s parts of me that I want to improve, change, and there’s a type of person that i want to become, but I want to still have a uniqueness and an individuality to myself! Thanks for the video!
thank you for watching it! i’m glad you got something out of it and i hope you feel better about all the questioning !
I love your calm energy 🌷
thank you :))
It's so interesting to me how many people in these comments talked about the influence of fictional characters on their self-expression. I've been doing that as long as I can remember, with everything from my choice in clothing, hairstyle, my outward personality, to my favorite snacks, even, and my favorite color. If something I do reminds me of a character I like, it makes me feel more confident. I don't know why that is, but it's just neat to see that other people have had similar experiences to that.
yes! it’s really fun to see a character and want to be like them. it’s a good way of experimenting with your style and way of being so that eventually you can take little bits from a lot of places and keep them as your own thing
I'm really going through it right now but you are very calming and I just wanna says thanks for that
hey i’m really happy that i could help. hope you’re going through it less soon
Your energy is really comforting
:)
Thank you so much. I can’t tell you how much I needed this video. I’ve kinda been going through this since I was in middle school but now being a senior in highschool, it’s worse then ever. Everything u said I could relate to. Thanks again 😊
glad it helped you :) i’m still dealing with it and now i’m a sophomore in college
sooo i'm trying to solve my own little identity crisis rn, with just journaling, I've made a looong list of the things I'm unsure about, and now I'm just writing a paragraph about each of the things and it already started to help, so thanks a lot💖
amazing!! i did the same thing when i was in the middle of my first identity crisis, so glad i could help
This video, it's comment section and Sarah, helpled a lot. Thankyou, you're beautiful.
i’m so glad you found a space here, thank you :)
I'm so grateful for this video, thank you so much for making it! I've been feeling so anxious and you really helped. :)
i’m so happy that i could help :) wishing you the best
I am about to turn 20 and feel really empty, i thought i knew what my true goal is, and i thought i knew how my personality is like. Today I call off school just to sit alone in my room because it might be overwhelming to be around with a lot of people when i am feeling conflict inside. I experienced so many kind of experiences growing up because i moved quite often and somehow surrounded with toxic environment. Some years and places are amazing and some are really traumatizing. It changes me over time. I am sometimes hella confident then some day feeling insecure and hit the rock bottom. Thank you for the comfort, it makes me feel that i am not alone :)
Well hey you’re only 20, you’re true goal in life will probably change many times, but that’s kind of a good thing i think
i don't recognise myself in my past thoughts, sometimes things around me look strange, strange to see myself in my pictures,.i forgot myself entirely.. plzz reply 🙏🙏😥 is it a depersonalisation derealisation or a identity crisis... 🙏🙏
I've read this somewhere - "the sense of self is developed by the sense of self that is given to you by the people around you"
yeah i think the perception of oneself is really shaped by the surrounding environment. but i don’t think the surrounding environment changes us as much as we think, it just changes our view of ourselfvws
@@SarahKrohn true and that influences our self image and the way we behave - I think behaviour is based on beliefs of how we are treated/perceived by others.
thank you i really needed this today!! you’ve helped me clear my anxiety-head a lot rn ♡
im so glad i could help :-))
appreciate this a lot
Can we just talk about her voice!! It's so smooth girl 🥰
Thank you for this video!
Thank you so much for this
I love this!
I really loved this video actually I learned a lot.
I am 49 & in the past year I have found out that the past 48 years of my life have been a Sham, a projection of who I am truly NOT, due to being forced into wearing a psychological mask, and that mask being physically beaten onto me since about age 2 by my dad & then age 4 onwards at school, especially Bromsgrove Public (private) School, in England. The teachers still teach the pupils there to bully & beat & abuse the kids.
Now my Identity Crisis is so positive. I am building 3 identities : my old one, so I can use the best bits & process the trauma. A new one based on my Irish family. I guess for some deep reason I developed that in private 20 years ago.
The third is the most challenging & interesting. The Silent Self. NOW. Live here & with the skill to ask my Brain 🧠 to turn my Mind to OFF. not meditation, not mindfulness 🧘♂ Just Fucking Off. One Thing, Right Now… zero.
That’s been giving me peace & happiness. ( so has solo rock climbing 18m / 60 foot & doing shorter 5a moves ).
Wow that’s a really fascinating way of looking at it, I haven’t heard anyone talk about it like that. I think that’s really cool, thanks for sharing!
Wow how you said one person will say one thing and one person will say another. That's so true. I love writing as well... I used to write so much music I felt destined to be an artist but then all my friends are gone like poof and so now I feel aimless. Maybe I'm mentto write again. Thank u so much. U opened my eyes and mind back up. I'm always alone so it's hard to reflect when it's constant. I was always the popular kid but an only child so the contrast now being alone is so different. Once again... thank u so much.
❤️
thank you so much ilyy
ly2
This was very helpful and motivational! Thank you so much!
Btw, you're very pretty and your voice is very relaxing! New sub!
i'm so happy you got something from it! and thanks so much :))
I’m a sixth grader and thank you for this. I am non stop overwhelmed 24/7 i hope this helps ty
very glad it helped! hope it gets better for you :)
this is the first video ive seen without any dislikes.
This was extremely helpful , thank you 🙏
so glad it helped :-)
Thank you so much for this video! The problem I have I think is that I’m constantly trying to please other people because I feel I’m not good enough for them. Since quarantine I don’t quite know how to act or be myself. I try to watch things or do things I think will be funny so that I can make people laugh when truly I think that just being carefree is what makes them laugh best. Going through a state of confusion brings lots of insight so I know I’ll be okay but damn is it difficult.
yeah man it’s so easy to lose yourself when you value making people happy. just make sure you’re not sacrificing too much of your own sanity. it’s hard though to know where to draw the line and what it looks like. you’ll figure it out though :)
@@SarahKrohn Awe thanks for taking the time to respond to me! Yeah sometimes it’s just failing and learning from it I’m sure I’ll figure it out :D
@sour cream I hope urs get’s better too! Let me know if you need anything
One important point is the idea that, “being oneself“ in and of itself is not really a realistic expectation unless the Busan is extremely close to you/some sort of special circumstance. Everyone is in character to some degree or another in for that public especially, one must really analyze what is intended when talking about being one cell. Also, people may especially be making an unrealistic request if they are asking someone to “be themselves“ in a setting that does not make any sense for that, for instance, you cannot call a fantasy line, or go onto social media and expect that.
I've been feeling like I'm being someone else lately
I honestly felt less awkward and had fun by acting a certain way with some people, but it also felt wrong and I felt like
"What the heck am I doing?"
I'm a bit scared of losing myself but
I'll definitely try out your tips and talk to my loved ones about this, thank you so much
Have a nice day!!
Don’t be afraid of losing yourself too much, you’ll find yourself again
@@SarahKrohn Thank you, I did few moments ago!
thank you.
Thank you for your kind words. :)
Thank youuuu, so glad you made this video xD
Kate Waller i’m happy it could help :-)
You're such a lovely person, subscribed 🤗
Aw you seem so lovely. Thank you for this video it really reassured me. Subscribing for sure.
I am so glad :) this comment is making me want to make more videos like this, so stay tuned :))
You’re a beautiful soul
:)
Lovely!
Thanks. Another good resource is the mindfulness book "30 Days to Discover Who I Am" by Harper Daniels. It's online.
Thank you this video helped me a lot
i’m so glad :-))
I think that when you get rid of the bad people even when you literally have nobody and even when you have to spend a lot of your time alone you'll be alot more likely to end up in a place in which you will be far better off in the long run.
I’m 14 and I’ve always wanted to cut my hair short and dye it. Now more than ever but I’m scared too for so many reasons. I also want to go shopping and stuff a lot more and I used to hate it. On top of That, finding out what I like and don’t like is super hard making me feel like a fraud half the time
Take it from me, I wanted to cut my hair short at 14 but was too scared and did it anyways at 20 but it took me 6 years. If you wanna do it, do it. It won’t be the end of the world and you might love it. And better to mess up your hair when your 14 than 20 in my opinion
I’ve kinda lost key parts of my personality/character, thanks for the video dude
you’ll get em back, just find what makes you feel the best
Thank you so much for making this video! It has been so helpful, and I am subscribing to your Channel thank you be safe
thanks! i’m so glad u found it helpful :)
I recently got a tattoo, that I’ve been wanting for months and I loved everything about it until 2 days ago my mind randomly switched on me and I started to hate myself for it and I constantly think my tattoo is manly (which is not) and I’m fighting myself bc I think people look at me and think I’m manly and it’s messing with my mentally and I can’t get out of that mindset
that’s a difficult thing, feeling like you’re against your mind. if your mind changed once, it can change again. maybe try to create a positive association with it within yourself, also fuck what anyone thinks, if you think it’s cool it’s fkn cool
i’m a 6th grader having an identity crisis. thank youuuuuuu
glad i could help, enjoy being the age you are :-)
currently having an anxiety attack I normally don’t know what causes them but I realized it’s been about my identity all this time or what I feel is the lack of an identity I have completely lost myself
It's an unimaginable course .....this identical crisis
I love that this video appeared in my recommended ❤❤❤ you have cool vibes, hope you doing good or something xd
hey thanks so much :)
Love the vibe)
thanks man :)
Been struggling with this lately. It's just that I don't know me. I don't know what I want to do. My preferences change everyday. Everytime I watch a series or smth else I start behaving like one of the characters. I just don't want to be confused.
I feel this. I’d say see what feels the best and just be mindful of maybe finding out why. Like for example, “when I am ____, it feels good because _____” then that just might be the way that is easiest and most pleasurable for you to be
Here I am in eight grade, doing the exact same thing you did. So glad I found this :-))
you’re past the worst of it, good luck with the rest
Thank you
I've been having an identity crisis off and on for 4 years now. Mine has me wanting to be my video game characters and take on their lives.
i feel that, but maybe that’s just part of your identity. like being made up of everything you love
the harry poster🥰
harry
Love it
Hi there!
I'm 19 and struggling with what I think is an identity crisis, though what I'm going through matches more with depression along with identity crisis. I need help. I'm not comfortable to talk to my family about this, and I can't afford therapy. I've been writing about this in my journal for about 3 days, and I seem to be getting worse. I had an innate passion for Astronomy, so much so that I aimed to become a Cosmologist in the future, but now I just don't feel like loving it as much as I used to before. It sounds wierd, but I believe it got triggered while I was watching a Taylor Swift clip ( she was performing at one of her concerts ). And it just got me thinking, "There's no way I'll ever be that successful". That's it, that's when it started. I hate the way I am now, how I look, how I act, the way I sound. There's no way I'll be like her, and I'm from a country that I think most people despise, and look down upon. I hate who I am. I have so many entrance exams going on, and absolutely no motivation to study whatsoever. It's heartbreaking. I'm disappointing my parents, who think that I'm pouring my heart and soul in this preparation, but I just sit in my room crying. I want to be famous, successful. But it's hard to work towards it when you have to wake up each morning and be the one person you hate the most, it's like a nightmare. It's exhausting to constantly live with anxiety, and I had one of my biggest panic attacks last night. I make up imaginary scenarios in my head wherein I am who I want to be, and daydream about it almost throughout the day, but snapping back to reality is hurtful. I'm scared because I don't know if this will ever change.
It can be really overwhelming to look at someone’s success and feel discouraged. It happens to me a lot. But no one wants to see another taylor swift. You’re you and no one else can say that. Wanting success is normal but when it discourages you rather than inspires you, it’s not always helpful. I believe you don’t have to love yourself. I saw a really good tik tok that was approaching self esteem in a different way like, I look like a troll sometimes but that’s punk rock. You don’t have to trick yourself into loving yourself, but you don’t have to love yourself to be successful or content. It can help though
thank you so much!! im in 9th grade and this helped me so much
Good luck with the rest of high school!
I’m 20, and not only is that an age where people typically have some sort of existential/identity crisis, but society as a whole is also going through massive changes right now so it’s ultra confusing. I feel like I am constantly changing moment by moment because my personality is a giant conglomerate of the input I receive from the outside world and experiences and thoughts that I have, so I begin to wonder if there is a self beyond the human personality that is ever present and never changing, and if that’s who I really am? I don’t know.. does anybody really know who they are?
You and me both. It can definitely get suuper confusing at times, but also, you do not have to be defined by something so narrow. You can be a lot of things. And though a bunch changes, I bet there’s also a bunch that stays the same. It’s okay to change in the moment, let yourself experience and experiment and try not to worry about what it all might mean
thank you
you’re welcome :-)
I don’t know if I’m having a identity crisis or not but I don’t want a human body anymore, like i just wanna be a floating brain sometimes and other times I wanna be a elf who lives in a mushroom house to the point where I’ll feel sad and want to die because it feels wrong sometimes, so you know, that’s great! Also fun fact I’m 13-
you should write a story about a character who feels that way. it seems like you have the creativity for it. but i’m sorry that you feel such discomfort with all of it. i also urge you to get some professional help if you’re feeling that hopeless. i was feeling the same when i was your age and getting help definitely made things a lot better :-)
what song is in the background? such a mood rn
yoooo i’m so glad you asked because i’m actually releasing that song within the next 2 months. it’s a full song now with vocals n everything. it’s called ‘the ground that holds you’ and will be out on all streaming platforms sooon
Hi I don’t know if anyone will see this but I’m not doing too great right now. I’m sleeping for 12+ hours a day and I’m not being very productive. Recently I’ve come to college and I’ve experienced quite a lot. In highschool I did not do too much besides play a sport. I did that for 2 years and then I quit. I mainly quit because I just didn’t enjoy it like I used to and it made me anxious throughout the day. I finally just did the bare minimum for the rest of school. Got solid grades and then got a couple jobs. Had a fair amount of friends. Never experienced anything romantic though. I also had a very negative phase in my life where I had a big self image issue due to my weight. It was all I cared about until college began and I had something more important to focus on. Once I got to college I tried going out of my way to experience as much as I could. Parties, alcohol, drugs, sex, love, and how to actually be a better person overall. I then went some phases of “chasing love”. I first started talking to every girl that I talked to until they either stopped hanging out with me or until I realized a relationship wasn’t possible. Then, out of nowhere, this girl that thought I was cute at a party asked to start hanging out. I had just got done testing my luck with Tinder until I realized that I wasn’t after something like that. I saw her and I began to start hanging out with her pretty regularly. Then it got more exclusive and we got to hang out about 5 times just by ourselves. We got to see each other infrequently due to distance issues. She lived 30 minutes away from my college, she attended college more than 2 hours away from both my home and my university. This was something that I really hated at first and made me always stress about it. Then I finally asked her out and she agreed. I was so damn happy. Then one day, I kind of admitted to myself that I was depressed and I had been for some time. This was around the time my second semester started. I then finally was able to make the almost 4 hour drive to her school. The entire time I was trying to convince myself how I could be better because of my epiphany about myself. I then got to her campus and felt pure euphoria of feeling like I was genuinely happy. After being there for a couple hours, I felt incredibly guilty. I started questing how attractive I found my girlfriend. It’s not like I was out of her league. I thought I was a 5 and she was a solid 7. She also treated me so perfectly and had so many similarities to myself. I was so unbelievably upset by my own thoughts that I began to cry infront of my girlfriend. She consoles me and does everything right. She tells me things will be okay and that she will always be there for me. I feel a whole better and start to calm down. After the night passes and we advanced more in our sexual experience, I started feeling so much better. Close to that Euphoria again. In a moment of adrenaline and hope I told my girlfriend that I loved her. It had been 60 days since we hung out for the first time. It was so incredible. I was so genuinely happy while hugging my girlfriend as she cried telling me how much she loved me. Minutes later, I remembered that guilt. It made me question things again. The rest of the day went on and I went back to my campus still really confused. Confused about this guilt. This guilt was impossible to dismiss. It was also impossible to understand. I tried understanding it so much. To the point of where I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Then I started my medication. My medication for the depression I realized I had. I fought the guilt and confusion off for months. Telling this amazing girl how much I loved her each day. Getting to see her about 6 times a month. Dealing with school and potential substance dependence issues. Then, over my spring break I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t appreciate anything or have fun while at the beach. I was so anxious every second. And I was no longer confused. I finally understood what the issue was. I didn’t love my girlfriend. I couldn’t deal with this knowledge. I tried excusing it at every single turn. You loved me. You loved me with all your heart. You were so understanding. You were so pretty and interesting. So smart and impressive. You taught me so much. So much about what it means to be a boyfriend. You gave me your heart, and I didn’t accept it. My brain refused to get over the guilt. Refused to keep thinking about it. After all the things you did for me, after all you said to me, I told you I didn’t love you. You knew. You knew something was off. You were constantly doubting it. To the point of confronting me about it. After dozens of attempts at proding at the situation. And I broke down. I started telling you everything. I told you about how I couldn’t explain away this guilt and how I wasn’t emotionally mature enough for situation. I tried. I stopped watching porn, I stopped admiring any other girl, I questioned my ability to love anyone. My ability to feel love. It hurt so much. Every day I tried convincing myself I did love you. I’m sorry. It’s been 45 days since then. I’m super high in my dorm. I’m up at 3 in the morning. I’m procrastinating studying for an exam at have at 11 in the morning. All I’ve done for the last couple of weeks is sleep, smoke weed, sit in my room, or essentially force myself to try an attempt something productive everyday. Mostly failing. I’m different. I act completely different. I think completely different. All I can do is introspect on the conscious mind as well as reflect on my relationship. I started therapy. My medicine has started to take some positive effects. I have started to wonder if I have suffered from an identity crisis and I’m starting to ponder that now. Sorry for the long comment I’m really high ha.
Thanks for sharing! That sounds like a lot to deal with, but nothing you can’t overcome. It seems like you’re learning a lot and that’s what life is all about isn’t it?
@@SarahKrohn thank you for the response and sorry for making you read that haha. I agree though and that’s something that I try to remind myself when I get really down. I can tell I’m making progress but it’s hard to always remind myself of it.
I'm inlove with your voice
:)
I moved a ton in childhood. 9 schools...no mother, single father. No women in my life. I wonder what caused this for me.
oh yeah that’ll certainly do it
I feel so weird in my body. Like I really do love myself deep down but I'm in a state rn where I just wanna do a complete 180 and change my whole personality bc I'm sick of my old self and self now and I find myself annoying but then I fear that if I try doing this then I'm not accepting myself and that I'm pushing who I am down. Idk man, crazy shit.
experimenting is definitely fun and helpful in figuring out who you are, but sometimes it can distract from connecting to who you really are. so i’d recommend experimentation while also reflecting
i'm 13 and i am at like -that age- in which everyone likes certain stuff, relate to certain character, have this star sign or this mbti, or have this problem or the other, and i have a really hard time guessing which one is for me. i can't easily relate to things because i fluctuate a lot, not only between people, but between days. i consider all options and don't know which one to choose. sometimes i do know what to choose, because of certain reason i feel identified with. but when tell my friends the reason why, no one seems to get it.
i remember feeling the exact same when i was your age and i still feel that way now. you don’t need to define yourself with those types of labels if you don’t want to. you’re a much more multifaceted person that any of those labels can portray
@@SarahKrohn thank you :)
Thank u
you’re welcome
i'm 16 and recently been going through something like this of not knowing who i am and what defines me. i think i see some silver lining in this, the way i see it now is that i am undefined by anything so i find some sense of freedom in doing and acting whatever feels natural to me, i may not be the best or worst in anything i do but all those good and bad things about me is ultimately what makes me 'me', and no one can be me better than me. if that makes sense?
That’s so true!!! Dude don’t let go of that because that is what’s it’s all about. You are you and no one else is you
i have to subscribe!!!
❤️❤️❤️
I'm 12 and this is my problem since i was a kid but i can't find the right thing for me i don't have a talent or all of that im just don't know to do like its hunting me for years of what will i become if I'm gonna be old someday
that’s true you’ll be old someday but you have soooo much time. don’t think it’s too late to start a new hobby. believe me, i did that and it was never too late
I'm skeptical about having an identity crisis because I bought lenses and dyed my hair putted my makeup on and started to act like someone I dont even know all of a sudden then when I remove lenses and makeup I act normal like my old self and whenever I feel like my other personality will raise I run and stop myself from wearing lenses and makeup because I knew I'll change and i dont want that
I think you may subconsciously be acting different when you look different. Bc those things can’t actually change how you act. But they can change how you feel in yourself. If it’s a good feeling then go with it! But if it doesn’t feel good then don’t
I'm turning 18 soon and I think Im having an identity crisis. I didn't know if something like that existed but I was always question myself and then someone mentioned "identity crisis" and searches up what it was even if the word literally explains what it means 😬😅
ahahah yeah i always refer to my stuff as identity crises bc it’s like an existential crisis but with identity lol
🍀
I have made myself do different types of personas for places people. Like at school I have a very silent smart persona at my house I have a loud talkative persona I have been acting this out for such a long time I forgot how I really am I don’t know how I am in reality .
This helped me a lot thank you !
Gotta love that uh.. jump cutting
calm down. this was 3 years ago.
It's really hard for me..I'm good at everything I do,,people around me told me that I'm a jack of all trades.,and I hate it.,I wanted to be a master of something...
There’s always time
I’m in eighth grade and I’m going through an identity crisis and this really helped
:-) glad it helped
When I was 12 years old, I sounded like an actual grown man. Like, how your average 20 year old sounded like. I started to make multiple accounts on various apps and games, making fake people that don't exist. I had to act as about 7 people at once. And all these people were a 12 year old kid that just happened to sound older than he actually was. Damn.
I feel like I see this kind of thing happen a lot, but with different variations of how it shows up. I haven’t necessarily heard of many people acting as fake accounts of people but a lot of people try to imitate things like movie characters and such
you are beautiful and clever, keep creating videos and sharing with us
:-)
i used to be a qute quirky but super fun girl next door type, but she's kinda bad ass. and out of nowhere i feel really bitchy and rude to everyone and bad ass came to a whole new level...in some ways bad ways. i dont really know who i am any more
it’s okay to change and have mood swings especially as you’re growing up. and it’s okay to not know who you are, try not to do what i did and stress about it :) you also don’t need to define who you are, it can limit you and put you into boxes that’ll be harder to break out of later
@@SarahKrohn thank you so much