I got tired of hearing professional women say “ oh, you’re so lucky you can afford to stay home.” It’s a choice! We have a very small house, eat from scratch at home, shop at thrift stores, and go camping for vacations. Being a homemaker, prioritizing my family and our home is my greatest joy!
... not to mention saving on taxes, work clothes, work transport, "de-stress" expenditures, and there can be lots of mental health/relationship benefits which can translate to monetary benefit.
staying at home is a sacrifice! I agree with you. And on top of that, I chose to stay home and homeschool my children, thus, not having social security, retirement, etc. I have been sick and tired of hearing this too! (My husband worked an entry-level job and we are NOT wealthy!) But you know what? Working outside the home is also a sacrifice. I'd rather sacrifice the money than the fulfillment of being a mom and making sure that I have done as much as I could to raise my family well! I am a "Millennial"--HAPPILY living a traditional life! If you're reading this, wondering if it's possible, IT IS!! Please, at least, consider it!
Nothing is wrong with camping but many families think they're not keeping up with both working parents that go to woke "Disneyland" or lego land or some other thousands of dollar trips. It's a false premise, but the thought is there
I'm not a conservative person by any means, but I've always felt so much pressure to live up to this unrealistic ideal placed on Millennial women from the second they were born. No one can live up to this expectation and many are suffering in silence. Staying home with your baby is a natural desire. Dumping your baby off with strangers at daycare is not natural or good for the mother and child.
@@swisschalet1658Both 'conservatives ' and 'radicals' are mentally out of balance. Only the 'liberal' mind ( open minded with a healthy degree of skepticism ) is a truly balanced perspective. Liberal comes from the Latin "libra", a reference to the zodiac sign of the balance scales. How conservatives abuse the term as an insult demonstrates typical conservative ignorance. That is what's 'wrong' with being a conservative. Especially today's conservatives who openly advocate fascist law and order baloney, while remaining conviently ignorant of the nature and exsistance of our American system of ethical self government. Beauracratic ' 15:58 Law' is merely the ignorance of ethics.
I was thiiis close to ending up like this in my family and marriage. I had my first born when I was 23, after having three miscarriages. I said I was going to go back to work at 6 weeks because that was our “plan.” But I couldn’t. And then it was 12 weeks. But I still couldn’t. Maybe it was the loss of three babies before having one to hold in my arms but I became fiercely protective and my husband saw the change. We threw our “plan” for me to go back to work out the window and he put his nose to the dirt and PUSHED to make it happen. That beautiful wonderful man did anything necessary to make sure our first born son had his mother home with him. Even sometimes working 3 jobs to do so. I saw my husband turn from a young man wanting the “norm” in life to a fighting father and husband to give his wife and children the absolute best. We may not be financially rich but we are absolutely rich in our family life. He is the BEST man I have ever known, only second to Jesus Christ. I could not have done this life without him.
@@dr.vonslifeinvesting6485none of my business why, but I do hope you take the time and give your wife the time to tell you why. Please be patient. Pregnancy and birth changes the body. Birth can make sex more painful for years afterwards. Lack of sleep, stress, all can affect. And these things can also make people more annoyed with others and more easily angered unfortunately.
As a man in a single-income household, I cannot express the unstoppable drive to provide for my family, my wife has been the homemaker for 30 years & our kids are so much better off because of it, despite both of us struggling with our separate & distinct roles. The key is understanding & agreeing upon the roles and embracing them
I am a stay at home mom, married to a youth pastor who does contracting work on the side to supplement income. We are POOR! And yet we are wealthy. We have everything we could ever need and a church that will take care of us in times of trouble (praise God for His provision). We have the joy and peace of myself being able to raise our children. My husband is happy to come home and be able to enjoy his children without worrying about splitting the house work. Getting into ministry and deciding to live off of one income was a sacrifice we decided to make and it has come with countless blessings. I am so grateful to be home with my children and to hopefully have more! All glory to Jesus Christ for making this life possible for us.
My dear you are NOT poor. I have a similar situation at home and my wife and I most definitely do not consider ourselves poor. Like my wife and I you and your husband are broke. I can't afford everything we want. But I can make ends meet and she runs the house and homeschools the kids who are turning out stable and happy. If there is happiness and God in the home, you are never poor. Only a little broke from time to time.
You're not poor in a first world country, you have a smartphone, you have the potential to make money online, you have peace, you have family (real human relationships). poor is when someone is living in the street or can't afford to have even one meal in a day and has to go a fee days out of 7 without food.
She said, YET WE ARE WEALTHY and everyone skipped that to focus on poor. Women really are high in negative emotion haha. I think it would be wise for women to stop looking for approval and 'validation' from our society. We live in Sodom and Gomorrah 2.0, worrying about how you compare to the culture is a bad rubric. If your family income is $20,000 a year, and your expenses are $12,000, you're a high earner. If you compare yourself with a diversity tzar making $350,000, you're going to think you're doing something wrong.
In all fairness she may have been just as unhappy being a housewife .. I’m not saying she would but simply saying you can’t assume a different way of life means happiness .. the grass is always greener on the other side of the tracks
As an almost 60-year old, I listened to this with tears in my eyes. The sadness I feel for my younger sisters is heartfelt. They were lied to by their mothers, by their grandmothers, aunts, and by society at large. Thank you for speaking truth to them.
They were lied to by women. They were not lied to by men. Men never wanted this but were not allowed to speak, were and are called toxic, mysgonistic ( cant spell) and shamed and shut down for even opening their mouths. Your comment is nearly right but not 100% right. Society did not lie to women, feminists ( women) lied to women so please stop including men by saying society. Thank you.
In the midwest I think most of them understood they wanted to have a kid, and most of them dead. These coastal liberal women though, I think most of them missed their window of opportunity.
I think alot of what happened: Earlier generation moms either emotionally abandoned child or broke the family up. Then a narcissistic reaction developed over the existentual wound in the children the got oasswd down through generations that motherhood was "less than". Except women are finally seeing the emptiness of having corporate careers. (At least some of them are). Alice Miller talks about the narcissist would process in Drama of the Gifted Child.
I met my husband at the age of 34 at the height of my career. We quickly married and got pregnant. I will NEVER LOOK BACK. I am full-on homeschooling mom, working from home (very flexible hours), and love being home with my 3 kids. I am so grateful every day that God brought this man into my life. My career never brought me this joy, peace and fulfillment.
Would have been much better off had you done same thing at age 20 - 24. And then had a career at age 40 to 55, then retire early with husband and travel world. Etc. I'm 58 and experienced enough to know there isn't ANY woman, almost 15 years past her wild college days, I would want to start a family with. I have better choices in life.
@@andre1987ephnot everyone has “wild college days”…. You do not know this woman’s situation. I didn’t get married until 27. I have some sweet Christian gal friends who have never slept around, who are 30 or over and still looking. Let’s not pretend all women are the same. Cmon.
I’ve got a few observations to make: 1. Selling the idea that women should/need to work outside the home is a result of social engineering, starting with feminism. 2. The sexual revolution further convinced women to work against their inborn nature and their personal interests. 3. Pressuring women to take on massive debt to get degrees, which supposedly will make them SAIDNNM, convinced them to put off marriage and motherhood until it’s too late. 4. The government has been there along the way encouraging women to look to it, rather than marrying a husband. 5. Modern men and women don’t do very well when it comes to sacrificing or delaying gratification. How many women are willing to reduce their lifestyle in order to marry? Maybe the idea of a dowry wasn’t so bad. So you have hormonal birth control messing up your biology and societal pressures messing up your heads. The only way out is to swim against the current.
I went to college, got married young, have worked small part time roles around being a primarily stay at home Mom and am now going back to reasonable part time work that I enjoy while my kids are in school. My degree is not wasted. I was able to be traditional but holy cow do I need something else to do while they’re in school. Why is always this narrative of women being all one way or the other? I wouldn’t have met my husband or been able to support him in his career without it even as I now use it for my own. I never ever feel represented in any of these conversations. A down to earth moderate person who’s stayed with my children but still has work ambitions now that they’re older. It’s not Earth shattering.
Women have constantly been warned about all of these things though. The problem is that we push blame onto others. For example how many times has a well meaning stranger asked or made comments about your marital status or how many children you have etc?? I know I've been asked many times and had many comments directed my way, but most women seem to take their advice and input as insulting, instead of admitting that you're only 30 and you don't know it all. Women, especially in my own age group 25-40 are incapable of taking any criticism constructively. They take every chance to be offended instead of looking at themselves. All my friends, sadly, are 15+ years older than me because I HATE HATE HATE my own age group. I wish they'd grow up and start listening instead of complaining.
I am one of those women who has no choice but to work due to being the sole provider. I am working to teach my daughters to plan their lives carefully - choose men to marry who can help them to be able to fully devote themselves to motherhood. Prepare themselves to be wives and mothers. Be cognizant if their biological clock and plan accordingly. I hope our generation is the last to be sold these lies.
I think so We women are cyclical Now, we also need to look more feminine, not wear workout clothing outside, but more dresses/skirts. It also seemed to change after 1990
@@kathleenking47I do not know what you mean by women being cyclical but I can assure you, this generation of women are being hit over the head with the realities of the dating market via direct experiences they're all having and yet none are willing to leap to the logic that they're the problem with the market. They alone can fix it. The problem? They don't want to. They want both sides of their sexual selection strategy and they think they can shame men in to submission to fulfil their backup strategy when they can't get 6'6 Chaddeus Vladimir Thunderschlong III to commit. This is an unsolvable Rubiks cube. Technology is rapidly changing the ways in which men meet their sexual needs and culture and woken are significantly disincentivising male interest in the pursuit of women. Then there's the unfortunate reality that women just don't like men that much and that's not an opinion, it is reflected in the data. Most women view most men as significantly beneath them. The numbers all reflect a trend of low births and low marriages and we are in the infancy of the technological changes driving this forward, this is set to exponentially get worse.
Men are taking marriage off the table completely. Marriage is becoming a thing of the past. By 2030 50% of women will be childless and single, and will die alone.
It will be the last lie sold, because these are the last generations. Find a good man you can die happy with, it won't be too much longer before everything falls apart.
They didn’t “kill their drive” they dragged wages down by over saturating the market by increasing the supply of workers by 100%. If most women quit their jobs, wages for men would increase significantly,
Thank you so much! I am a 30 years old brazilian woman, I am a physician and up until 3 years ago my life surrounded my career. I had plans on getting out of university and continuing my studies and working indefinitely. When I met my now husband, 3 years ago, he asked me “have you considered the possibility of having other priorities rather than your career?” That was a breath of fresh air. I realized how much I wanted to have children and build a family, take care of our home and our health. But I never allowed myself to prioritize that! I changed my priorities completely.
yeah but you decided to be a doctor and now your quitting and cheating society out of that doctor. So first you're a really crappy, doctor. Second, you better pay for that, because you took from society when you did that. The whole reason women can't even be mothers is you stole their feminity and you need to accept that price.
As a therapist who sees mostly post partum moms and women with anxiety this is 100% spot on. Every single word. I see about 5 clients per week because for now my young children are my first priority and they have been since the day they were born. I took 18 months off with each baby to nurse them. My husband and I planned for this since day 1. Using my income to pay things off so when we had children we had no debt , making one income more comfortable. We always lived off of just his income to make sure we were used to it. Best decision I ever made and now I see how many women also have this desire to stay home with their children . It’s a real struggle and I work with mothers all the time on how to change their situations. ❤
I think women need to follow advice of other women who teach them to be feminine and virtuous. No, women, you can’t spend your twenties being passed around by men while you focus on college and then expect a good stable man to settle down with you like you’re a fresh option he needs. Sorry
My wife and I knew these truths 36 years ago. My wife had a job and a degree when we met. When we had our son, she quit to be a mother when our son was born. She was in her element and happy being a stay at home mom, but her peers looked down on her for not working outside the home. Women asked for and created feminism and the lie that women's path to happiness was working.
I won't be surprised if feminism was engineered by the gov't to literally double the amount tax payers for more gov't spending or to tackle debt, AND THEY STILL FUCKED UP THE GOV'T DEBT
Women have ALWAYS WORKED. That did not start with Feminism. Feminism gave women the right to a bank account, to get a loan without a man's permission. You're twisting what feminism was about. My HUSBAND gave me no choice but to work. In fact his words were "ope, back to work, no more sleeping in" "I'm sorry I don't make 70k a year, you have to work." It is THE MEN not allowing this. Period.
So society invested in her job and degree and then she just gave up on all that when it came time to do the real work. Thanks for cheating us all out of that society and degree.
@@AG-nn8lp Back in the day, women worked in the home, where they could balance child-care with domestic duties. It was of course hard work, and was unpaid except indirectly through the contribution of their husbands. Men worked outside the home. It was also hard work, probably harder than today. Nonetheless, families as traditionally constructed managed to do alright. Feminism drove women to work outside the home. That is why it was supported by big capital. The work-force was doubled while wages fell. Outsourcing child-care does not satisfy women and many cannot afford it. Feminism, supported by industry, media and finance, aggressively pushed for this new system and it suits neither women nor men. Of course, feminists and women more generally deny any responsibility and continue to blame men. All while demanding that men continue their traditional roles of providing, while also demanding they provide child-care. The men also cannot do both. The reason your husband's wages at 70K a year were insufficient, is due to these society-wide forces. The changes were wrought by feminism and the inevitable tendency of capital to lower the cost of labor, both in league with governments of all political persuasions.
Thank you for speaking the truth so eloquently. I'm a woman in my 50s: single and no kids. Deeply regret not being a mother; I was married to my career of "helping others" (school teacher) and never took the time to think honestly about motherhood when I should have. Thank you for helping young women. May God bless you.
Why do Christians have to hijack morality? Like there are no other religions on planet earth, only Christianity ::eye roll:: Your scriptures are stolen from Judaism. Your religion has been taken from Judaism.
I was lucky to make the transition before becoming a mother. I became a Christian as a Newlywed and over time my values changed drastically. We decided to buy our home on only one income (even if we didn’t have any kids yet). Today I’m pregnant with my second and so happy to get to stay home and focus on raising my kids and homeschooling. Every year I’ve become more and more passionate about home making. I find inspiration from other home makers and Stay at Home Moms on RUclips. All my friends are career moms and at this point I’m starting to see a real difference in how their little ones behave who grew up in daycare. You don’t see the damage in the kids right away but after 3-4 years of daycare the behaviour is a lot worse in kids who spent their early years in daycare. Community is important and I don’t think I could live this way without the support from other Stay at Home Moms online. I live in a big city and “the normal way to live” in this city is to hate housework and be super career focused. 😂
This video is resignating so much with me. I was a SAHM for 7 years. I returned to work for a couple of years and quickly lost myself. I was so depressed, I missed my kids so much. I missed my husband. I felt like I was drowning. I was doing great in my job. But my home life was struggling. When my husband and i started discussing me returning home, others around me suggested that maybe it was just this job. Maybe I should just pursue a different career. But I knew there was no job that was going to make having basically no time with my family worth it. Im back at home, I do some gig work on the side, but its much less than what I was working. And my kids are doing so much better now that mom is back at home.
And your husband is completely at your mercy and that of the family court. Should you choose to file for no fault divorce and alimony/child support for completely petty reasons, for example deciding to leave him for another man most likely the court will rule in your favor. The day your husband agreed to be the sole provider he put a potential noose around his neck because that is what family court looks at, who's been paying what percentage of the bills: barely any modern SAHMs can appreciate the risk the husband takes with modern laws as they are, but these are the laws that women for the last 3 generations voted for where they get to do a switcharoo at age 30 and it's the man potentially on the hook.
My mother was a stay at home mom and my 3 siblings and I loved it. I am so thankful to her and when asked if we would like her to go back to work, if it meant more money, we always said "Noooooo!" I am so glad to hear that your kids are doing better now that you are back. God bless you and your husband for doing what you feel is best for your kids- even if it means living on one income. My family had years when money was tighter. But as a kid/teen that allowed me to see how God provides for people who trust in Him. When you have all you need, you don't get to see that. But I still remember my mother and myself praying for things and God being very generous in providing. We always had more than we needed. But He also gave us contentment and a loving and peaceful home environment. He changed my parents over time to become increasingly loving and wise and I got to see it over the decades. Without him they would have divorced. But they wanted to obey him and stuck with it. They asked Him to help them forgive and love each other in the hard times and he came through. Now they are 40 years in and still in love and best friends. With God there is Hope for marriage that lasts but also thrives.
SAHM. I made the choice to stay home for the last 18 years. My youngest is 13. And let me tell you I’ve received many nasty comments from other women about our choice. But guess what, our home is happy, clean and organized.
My husband and I are both high school teachers. Since having my children I was able to transition to teach part time online exclusively from home. It’s not always easy, but incredibly practical . We are still in our starter home of 6 years, 3rd child on the way. We live modestly and happily! Raising my children is the most natural thing I’ve ever done. Yes, motherhood is hard. But it is beyond rewarding.
Economically , it made sense for our family to have me stay home. Initially, it was an incredibly difficult transition because I put so much stock into my work, which burnt me out and created a huge identity crisis. But when I took time to grow personally, in my marriage and motherhood- I found a core identity of child of God. Everything else is built around it. I embrace my femininity and role as wife and mother. We are the heart of the home. I am honored to be a stay at home mom and wife.
Same thing happened to me! When I started staying home with my first 5 years ago at age 21- I would have thoughts DAILY on how what I'm doing is purposeless and meaningless. I can't really understand why I felt this way, because before I got married I was a live in nanny for a family and was totally invested in loving children- but I had gone to public school my whole life too so I've always had the 'anxiety of my future career and college education ' thing in my head. But, now 5 years later I am finally embracing it all am I'm okay with it! I no longer have those constant thoughts and feelings. I'm homeschooling also. So now OTHER thoughts and feelings can plague my mind regarding homeschooling - but I'm going to push that out as well and push THROUGH.
I struggled with that identity crisis when I left my job to be a full-time mama as well. I went to college, got a degree, and enjoyed my job and enjoyed my earnings. I was the breadwinner between my husband and myself. I was incredibly vain, regularly getting hair and nails done, being trendy for work and gym, etc. When we made the switch it was rough. I was miserable for a long time. 5 years later I am finally accepting it. It’s like I had been brainwashed by school and media and society. My babies are so much more important than all that other bull 💩. We are staying home and homeschooling now.
I used to work for a man born in 1930. He said that before women joined the work force everyone could afford a wife and kids. With two workers families had more money and caused inflation. Now hardly anyone can afford a wife and kids. He was a soldier with a stay at home wife and 8 kids. Wives used to cook meals economically and made clothes and mended clothes. Wives used coupons and looked for bargains. There was an expression that 2 can live as cheaply as one which meant the wife earned her keep by saving them money. Single men use tailors, restaurants, store bought clothes and pay higher prices for everything. People don't know that anymore and divorce court has obliterated the concept.
Also, when there were far more single-income families, that made the labour supply/demand ratio different. Notice that wages have stagnated, and now, it takes two incomes. It would be an interesting chicken vs egg discussion.
Great video Suzanne. I’m a millennial & a stay at home mom to our 16 month old. My husband started his business in 2020 and it’s what really pushed me to having a child, knowing I could stay home and raise them as we saw fit. I wish every woman has the opportunity to stay home with their babies because it’s the most incredible journey and is hands down the best thing for mom, dad and baby. God bless!
Imagine being on the flip side of this, you are a SAHM to a second baby and you have the MIL trash talking you to your husband (her son)…. Saying that I need to go to work! Not gonna happen 🙅♀️ not gonna drop my kids off at daycare to please her ! 👎
@@PinkTaurus93 and he has, but the woman can’t seem to keep her mouth shut! He’s defended me many times, but she always gives her opinion. I’m so happy we live no where near her!
I hope your husband is not getting itching ears from his mother. Is he on your side? My husband gets really, really angry when mother in law starts running her mouth. He always shoots her down and we leave. It is a rare occasion nowadays because of it.
@@SuzanneVenkerAuthor thankfully we are a unit on this subject. Money is so tight right now, and when I hear her talking about me… I get so depressed and sad because I’m not helping out financially 😭 but he understands our 9mo hasn’t been easy and our 5yr old is easy, so my hands are full. The woman doesn’t like the fact that she never had the opportunity to be a SAHM since she was a single mother…. But her comparing me to her situation, is unfair. I’m trying my hardest to start on online business to try to contribute financially.
This hits home!!!! In the African American community, there’s a high expectation for women to be successful financially while the expectation is low for men. My own mom didn’t want me to be a stay at home mom in case my husband decided out of the blue to leave me! When there weren’t any red flags/history that he would do such a thing. When the discussion came up about my husband being a stay at home dad while I continue to work she was all on board for that! most cultures would feel their daughter is being TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF if she works and the dad stays home.
Black women have a different struggle. Our men are trash, they abandon children, we get stuck with responsibilities and we dont have generational weather passed down to us. We ride and die and cape for our dusty men... not by choice but because who else is going to do it
I say date outside of the race or make better choices but hell, the choices we have are the choices in our communities. 1 thing I won't do is listen to whyt women plateforms. Their journey is not ours
I did what you mentioned and regret it. I could not be the breadwinner,birth mother and nourishment for my children too. I would not encourage this plan. Men need to work outside of the home...it is good for their soul. I totally respect this womans vlog today.
It’s crazy how they shove their fears of men onto their daughters. Teaching them to fear being taken advantage of by men even when there are no signs or the man is decent
I’m not sure where this fear comes from..70-80% of divorces are initiated by women but the cultural message is “women need to have an education and career just in case the man leaves”..statistically it’s the other way around. ALL the men in my life take commitment very seriously. If there’s any discussion of divorce, it’s very rarely the man.
I'm a divorced dad, see my son several times per week and have a cordial relationship with my ex. I even taught her to snowboard after getting divorced. I paid for her nursing school while working 2 jobs myself and only started college after divorce. She makes more money than I do, and she's always made sure I knew it. Oddly enough, she's been trying get back together before after 13 years, she still can't seem to find Prince Charming. I wish her the best, but I'm happy with my life, and so is my 15 year old son, who decided he'd rather live with me than moody mom. Life is GOOOD!
I did not how blessed I’ve been all this time to be a stay home mom all this years . Thanks to you ! I felt miserable and like I was missing out because I wasn’t “pitching “ in an continuing my career . Now I feel lucky. My husband use to earn $1,000 a month when we first got together while having our first child now he earns 10x that amount and we made it work through the struggles of having a tight income❤
My old roommates are going through this. Let’s call them Shanon and Betty. Shanon got married at 22 to some dude with 16 years on her in terms of age. He basically retired her at 24 to be a mother. To this day, one of the only long lasting relationships I’ve personally witnessed. Betty went to college and only dated men who were hot but non-committing. Eventually she ends up a single mom to two kids and can no longer work and complains online about how men ain’t shit cause they won’t retire her and pay for her mistakes with those hot bums. This is natural selection playing out. If you make mating decisions based on excitement and novelty, male or female, you will pay the cost eventually. If a man is conventionally attractive and has options, he does not stick around when “woops birth control didn’t work this month!” Comes around. Women try to trap/lock down hot men with children and wonder why being a single mom is so rough 😂
@@lorrilewis2178 Not the men these excitement-seeking women choose, it does reflect well however on the men who look for young women with motherhood in their minds and marry them.
@@MeidoInHebun I guess you are unaware that tons of young men are not even in the job market. 50% of them are not dating. Young women have a plethora of terrible choices in men these days, and many women are saying they'd rather remain single than throw away their lives by being with one of them. I have a wonderful niece who has a high-paying job. By the time she was in her late-twenties, she noticed how immature so many men are. She described them as being like children. She decided to have a baby on her own and her mother lives with her and helps. Studies on single mothers with good careers are not showing the bad outcomes seen in previous studies of single mothers, most of whom were living in poverty. The ones with skills and good salaries are doing as well as two-parent families.
@@lorrilewis2178 I agree with @MeidoInHebun The reason why so many 12-27 year old males aren't striving to be in the workforce is because 12-27 year old females are making it perfectly clear that they have no interest in wasting their youth, beauty, and fertility on their husband. As such, the temptation for males to coast through their teens and twenties is massive. If women made it clear that they were willing to get married young, men would respond to the incentives and spend their teens and twenties preparing to be husbands "But, she needs to be protected from husbands who are abusive! She needs a career as an insurance policy!" Perhaps...but I'd argue that fathers, grandfathers, uncles, older brothers, pastors, and church elders used to be a part of the vetting process of a prospective husband AND they'd hold abusive husbands accountable for being abusive. Granted, they didn't always do those two duties correctly, but families and churches used to perform critical roles in ensuring that marriages stood the test of time.
I feel incredibly grateful for my husband when my daughter was born I told him I wish I could satay home with her and he said to me “There’s no better place for our daughter than at home with you. If I have to get a second job I will” he didn’t need to because we had always lived on one income mine was savings and retirement. Yes, we aren’t able to contribute as much to our retirement for now, but we’ll catch up later in life. I wouldn’t trade being home with my babies watching them grow and raising them. God is so good!
It's important for everyone to be prepared to be a provider. Someone may rely on you. It could be a wife, husband, child or relative. Things don't always go as planned.
Im 59. I wasnt groomed to believe that having a career was the be all and end all. Ive never liked children. I really enjoyed setting up and running my trucking business. We are all different, some women are meant to be mothers and homemakers, others are happy working. Just know yourself
I have been home for almost 15 years now. We have 7 kids ages almost 15 down to 15 months. I enjoyed being home so much I decided to homeschool. My oldest are now in 9th grade! We have never been rich. We rent, have no debt and save aggressively so emergencies are just inconveniences. God has been so so good!
the best thing you can do in this society is raise your children to be confident, healthy, successful, happy adults -- the family unit is our greatest strength not our military
My 50 something advice to 30 something women is do what’s right for you and your family. That is all that matters. If you must work, don’t feel bad about it. Treasure the time you do have with your family. If you can stay home with your kids, do it. They are only young once, and careers ain’t all that.
I can’t help but have this feeling that I totally wasted my twenties looking for my purpose and trying to build a career. Overall I was so unhappy. My husband and I were together for almost ten years before we had our first baby and when he was born I suddenly had the realization that this is what I was meant to be doing all along. Now I’m a stay at home mom and couldn’t be happier. I couldn’t imagine leaving my babies and going to work every day. I wish I knew sooner that it was ok to be “just a mom”. I would have been so much happier in my twenties even if we did have less money.
Facts all around!!! I was never taught this but will make sure my two daughters assume they will want to have kids and take that more seriously than having a career. I don’t know a single millennial mom who is not burnt out and exhausted trying to work and parent.
Some of the best advice I’ve heard is to think how many kids you’d like and count backwards. We wanted 4 kiddos and I’m so glad we started young and didn’t buy the cultural lie to “get all your ducks in a row.” There’s no such thing as having it all together. Being promoted to mommy is the best job promotion ever! It’s not always easy, but it is always good!!! ❤❤❤❤
This was literally me. It’s been a struggle physically and mentally. I’m praying for any woman struggling with this today. Go be the best mom you can be!!
I had my baby, totally intending on going back to work (teaching school). I quit my job, and I loved teaching. It was hard, but I keep telling myself "YOU DON'T GET THIS TIME BACK". My principal was sad to see me go, but was very kind in telling me I was doing the right thing and if she could go back in time, she wished she could have done the same with her kids. She didn't have the option with her first daughter because she was a single mom. I'll go back to work when my baby goes to school and we will be on the same schedule. We bought a fixer upper house and will have to tighten our belts, and I'll substitute teach one day a week just to pad our income a little and my mom will keep him those, but I'll be with my boy 80% of the time. I will never regret this choice. He's the best thing to ever happen to me and deserves to have his mom at home as much as possible. Yes, it sidetracked my career and will delay my retirement, but my baby will always take priority over any of that.
I have a friend who was a school teacher until she had her first child and had to put him in school. When she saw how the teachers treated him and how zoned out he was when he got home, she decided to homeschool him. She stayed home and went on to have another child. Now that her boys are finishing high school, she went back to school and got a nursing degree. And she's back to work a few days a week. Work will always be there. Your kids, on the other hand, need you now!
The goal of Marxism is to destroy the family. The goal of the criminal fed. gov. is to keep all women paying taxes to support government debt and the fake dollar.
I have been really lucky to have a great deal of support in my being a stay at home mom from the beginning. I remember when I took my oldest son to his 6 week check up and crying to my husband because I realized this was the point so many women have to return to their jobs. Listening to Susanne has opened my eyes to how fortunate I have been to always be met with glowing approval and respect when those in my community find out that I stay home.
I really appreciate your video on this. The traditional lifestyle I had prior to my divorce was a dream come true. We lived on only my income and had the nuclear family package: 2800sqft house, 2 cars, lots of grass for the kids to play in the backyard, citrus trees, family pets, etc. My comment I wanted to share is that unfortunately men today choose not to get married due to the laws and biases against them when it comes to family court. There is a real fear (and risk) to a man’s lifestyle being ruined because of a bad divorce as I have witnessed. I have no regrets having three kids with my ex but now I have to live on even less because of child support after losing everything and now in debt because of attorney fees. Not trying to victimize myself, but I can understand why some men would choose not to get married after experiencing what I went through. This adds to the complexities to resolve identity crises I’d say both women and men are having.
Marriage when it comes apart is a kick in the teeth for most men. No fault divorce just means the wife who usually wants the divorce gets half the resources even if they didn't create half and they almost always get custody because they want the child support, not because they think that is best for the kids. It is a financial transaction...and men lose
@@marklittle8805 Indeed there are women like that, and that is a whole different topic/discussion. I think the point of this video is aimed at women who are having second thoughts or beginning to scrutinize the career-focused strong independent woman and are longing for the traditional lifestyle to bear and raise children. My comment above was an attempt to tie together the current predicament women are facing and women who weaponize their children to financially secure themselves while men are persecuted under either condition/situation, which is why many men do not care to "contractually" oblige themselves to a marriage because of the destruction that so easily besets men if the woman decides to dissent.
Plan when you are first married and both working to save, save, save. Then, as many have said, as live simply as possible. Do we need two cars? Do we need more than one TV? Do we really need cable? Does each child need his/her own room? Do we eat out? Simple objectives lower the stress and the budget. So many things are inexpensive for playtime and leisure time, like picnics, walk in the woods, a drive in the country, a library visit. Be creative! Part-time work may be available from home or when the children start school. What a blessing it is to prioritize a life centered around the home and family!
Exactly what we did. Could not have imagined returning to my mundane, meaningless job (that paid me well) while my precious gift from God, my son, was being cared for by anyone else. It's in my very dna to raise him. No bigger purpose.
I'm a stay at home mom of 2 and my husband makes less then 50k a year. It's called make it work. We are basically poor. We also live in NJ, which is very expensive.
Governments write the laws. Will they hold themselves accountable? Will voters drive them out? Will the public stop listening to the media? Will the public stop listening to academics? Will they sue? Will the legal system care a jot? It's toast.
I just had my first baby. When we decided to start we thought I'd be able to go back to work and we could tag team the baby and avoid daycare. But now we're exploring the options of me not going back to work because I want to be with him all the time and its just to hard trying to juggle 2 schedules with a wild card.
Thank you for talking about this. Last year, I gave my life to the Lord and my entire world view changed. I can’t wait to work in the home, support my husband and raise our kids up in the way of the Lord.
I never liked the idea of allowing my ex to be a stay at home mom because a) she loves to go out a lot and spend money, and b) the thought of potentially having to face divorce court as the sole earner terrifies me.
On the other hand being the sole earner also gives you authority to decide when she should not waste the money. It's a sacrifice to have a family, not spending money on crap is evident.
@Leonhart_93 hahaha, I find it difficult to believe that being sole bread winner allows any man the authority to control spending in a modern feminist society. Maybe if you're lucky enough to find a good woman who is conscientious about this but that's the exception, not the rule, for modern women.
@@garynealjr But the dynamic should be clear. Women don't think like men do, if you are just kind with her without demanding respect, most women will just keep taking from you without giving back. The first step is to not allow her disrespect towards you.
@Leonhart_93 The legal system gives women too many incentives to screw over men. Change the laws and maybe more men will come back to the table. Until then, telling men to "man up" is useless advice.
@@garynealjr I am saying man up for your sake. Aka do not tolerate her disrespect since it will be worse and worse. And it's exactly because the legal system is how it is that you should not let her do what she wants. She will run you into the ground if left unchecked.
I worked my butt off to pay off my student loans and raise my children. My husband is and was very supportive but it’s still hard. I realize that children need their mother around and someone has to be the heart of the home. It’s one of those jobs where your role is so important but it goes unnoticed and can be very humbling. Before setting off to work your plan out I recommend praying to God for help.
"It's one of those jobs where your role is so important but it goes unnoticed and can be very humbling." It's a very insightful, realistic and very much needed description of what it is to be a mother. God bless you.
This is my problem with Mrs. Venker. She is trying but still has the feminist bent. Notice she says men still need to step up and do better? The whole time she is hitting the nail on the head but still can't keep the dig off the men. If all these women didn't have all these high paying boss babe jobs, guess who would? THE MEN!!!! Then they would have their high earning man that could pay the bills while they took care of the home. They get in their own way and it is still the man's fault. Makes me sick.
@@TheManWithNoName6 Chris Whalen, a CPA who advises a lot of single well-to-do men often addressed Suzanne in the comments about the corrupt family court and legal system. Not once did she respond. She too wants to have a backup plan in case she gets tired of the current hubby.
My baby is 6 months old, and I had her one month shy of turning 37. I immediately changed my entire life when I was pregnant with her. My lovely husband completely supported me in being home. He kills it out there in the workforce for us. I'm so grateful for this. I honestly don't feel like my life before this was better. Since having her, I have bloomed like a late flower. I will be teaching my daughter completely different from the feminist bs that almost robbed me of motherhood myself.
You say "men and women are not interchangeable". RIGHT ON. They are ASYMMETRICALLY cooperative. When you say men's incentive to produce is damaged, you are correct. Women are psychologically neotenous, in our culture. Part of maturity is an EXPANSION OF THE SENSE OF SELF, to include at least the family, and perhaps the local community. Native American cultures did this. Many people in the West are psychologically neotenous. One major shock, to me- was being in a college dorm, at 17. The bad boys just about needed number machines, like in the supermarket, for all the ladies coming to see them, for an hour or two. I was jealous, until I saw the ladies coming to them- they were college students, yet they looked like they were in their 30's. Seriously. I am twice divorced. Pain is a patient teacher, it keeps teaching long after any other teacher would have given up. I'm glad you are sharing what you share. Let us consider also- that thirty-something women have diminishing prospects, to find a husband, as their prospects, based on their SMV, shrink.
I actually love this podcast. 33 year old male. Been through so many relationships with girls who have been sold this anti-woman ideology and I have traditional blood in my veins. It's been so difficult. I could write a book about what I've gone through as a result of the cultural pervertion we are going through and how it has affected me and all of those sound me. Your podcast is a light in the dark. I share your videos often. You, and a handful of other coaches inspire me to become one myself. I feel a calling to help save our generations to come. And clearly, you have that calling too. You need someone to help blast this podcast across the social platforms. There's a lot more you could be doing to blow up, for sure!
Convert to Catholicism and get your butt to a parish that does the traditional Latin mass. There you will find the kind of woman you are looking for :)
@@hiddenhand6973 Amen to that. And I will get my butt to church. However, I found a nice girl from Poland. She moved to Canada recently, and has been a dream come true! And she ticks all the boxes. They're more traditional valued over there. She's unlike any of the women here in the west I've encountered. And all of them have been outside of church/godless lol yes. There is something to be said about that.
Women in their 30s are going to have to fight on multiple levels to be able to accomplish being a SAHM. Not only is motherhood not valued in this culture (certainly not to the level that abortion is), but the entire relationship landscape between men and women has become thoroughly poisoned. Hearing about all these "strong independent women who don't need no man" has put men in the situation where they know that a lot of them have to structure their lives to be fine without a woman in them. The push to get and keep women in the workforce has depressed wages, and put a lot of men in the situation where they can probably support themselves on what they can make, but not two or more other people.
Young men need to be taught before they marry that men have to bear the burden of performance. They are judged by society and women in particular by how much they make. In a marriage if the woman starts to make more-much more then many times they will grow resentful because he isn't taking care of her and then the odds of divorce soar. That has been shown in different research projects.
@@b.a.johnson5820 Society has taught men that they are worthless and that masculinity is toxic. Through contraception, welfare, abortion, affirmative action, no fault divorce, divorce laws, social media, and me too it is a woman’s world. Men are reacting to the incentives they were given and the actions of women. Women control sex and men control relationships. Women give sex to a small group of desirable men. They have options and don’t need to commit. The rest of men are relationship and sex starved. They have no option to commit. Some men got depressed and checked out. Some men never grew up, because they didn’t have to. Other men, the smart ones, accepted the lack of women in their life and worked on themselves. These men became marriageable in their 30s, but are discouraged from marrying due to divorce laws and the difficulty of finding a suitable woman. You can’t put the genie back in the box. Women got what they asked for but not what they want or is good for them, men, children, and society. I don’t think it was an accident. By destroying the two parent nuclear family, it creates people dependent on government. Feminism inadvertently liberated men. The funny thing is that women’s super power is child bearing. Without that, they are no more useful to society than men.
@@alanballew9218 I think that was the plan all along. I think it was the Cloward and Pivens strategy ... to overwhelm the welfare state to usher in totalitarian Marxism.
@@b.a.johnson5820The solution then is to remove women from most workplaces, and make the competition between the remaining men based on merit, and not on which minority out-group they're a part of. Two MASSIVE structural problems BTW that have nothing to do with what parents teach their sons.
I think what should also be mentioned is .. that second income is always eaten up in taxes and expenses, mostly clothing, travel to work, etc! We figured out early on that me being home with our children was the best. I pray that many more will figure this out! Thank-you for the video!
Yeah, you have to have a pretty exceptional job for that not to happen. I feel like if your income is under 50k USD per year than you're probably working for free if you put kids in daycare.
@@rathelmmc3194 not just free, in my case when my husband and I did the math, we found out that HE was paying more taxes for ME to work and pay daycare!! It was absurd! I quit my job right then and there.
This is only true if you have a low income. I have a six figure income, unlimited PTO, a flexible schedule, and I work remotely 100% of the time, so I have no commute or clothing costs and can do chores and prepare meals unencumbered during breaks in my working hours. Even after the expenses associated with working my family would lose hundreds of thousands in wages, compound interest, future pay increases, SSI benefits, and access to better healthcare just in 7 years. If I never returned to work that figure would be close to $4-5M. I cannot justify that financial cost when my daughter still spends more of her waking hours with me than anyone else due to the flexibility of my work. Also, I am a person who went to daycare from 6 weeks and have still had remarkable life outcomes relationally, educationally, vocationally, spiritually (my mom preached the gospel of Jesus to me) and economically. The marginal returns to utility of staying at home are just not enough to justify the opportunity cost of those lost wages or the additional risk borne by a family with one income earner (death, job loss, disability/illness, burnout from overworked breadwinner, breadwinner absent from children, divorce, etc.)
Wow - I really needed to hear this today ♥ as a stay at home mom with 2 littles we are in this exact situation - small money and living very frugally. It's hard not to compare so it's so helpful to hear from someone who has walked the journey ♥ thank you for what you do - it's helping us who are in the trenches
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD - Home school your kids people! Don’t go back to work just because you can put your kids in school. Become a teacher and raise your kids start to finish. It will pay off when they are adults and know how to think rationally and not what the political agenda wants them to think. That’s how we got to this place. Don’t let them be victims of your entitled views. Limit screen time their media. Raise them in a garden with animals chores and responsibilities. They’ll turn out ahead of the rest for sure
@@deirdremorris9234government schools were created with the idea in mind of making factory workers and not free thinkers. School hammers any kind of creativity out of most students before they graduate. I believe it was called the Austrian school method back in the early 1910s? Maybe government schools can be reformed, but it will take LOTS of heavy parental involvement to undo the damage. Unfortunately, many parents see government schools as their free daycare so that mom can go work. 😢
Do you know how the citric cycle works? Can you give the derivative of mathematical functions? Can you name the capital of Ethopia? Can you calculate how far a ball, thrown with a force of 15 N will fly? What‘s the difference between impressionism and expressionism? That‘s a small choice of things I remember being taught at school. I do not claim to able to answer all those. But anybody who thinks they‘re able to home-school should.
I’m a SAHM mom and I’ve never felt valued in society. My mom was a SAHM so I knew this was how it would feel, but I didn’t know how deeply it would affect me. I feel like my peers look at me like I’m lazy or old fashioned, or maybe they are jealous deep down. But I never feel like I fit in with working moms. I also homeschool our children which adds to the stigma. I feel like I should get a part-time job so that people value me.
Sounds like you have a full-time job raising your kids. That's very valuable, respectful work. Anybody that doesn't understand this is not worth your time.
Don’t listen to the hype , just keep doing what your heart knows is right . If you need the income , I’m sure you would have to work but if u have figured it out - listen to yourself !
Your children and husband value you, and that is worth more than any praise from outsiders. Your thanks will come later,when your children are old enough to appreciate what you re doing for them.
same situation as you! I’m doing from home business while homeschooling & keeping home due to our finances while husband is making a career switch. I have worked since I was 18, but I’m so happy to be at home with them. I wasn’t attached to the workplace & wanted to be a homemaker even at my peak while single. But the way society looks at you is so twisted. 😢 Money is more valuable than eternal souls & the future of society (your children) ??? Again, twisted!
That’s unfortunate that you feel that way. Yes, I recommend looking into part time if you genuinely want to, NOT bc you’re trying to prove something to others. The only time I think a SAHM is lazy is when she has her kids watch tv 4+ hours a day. My husband has a friend who is a stay at home dad and both of his girls (age 3 and 4) are obese and watch tv all day.
Thank you so much for this video. I’ve felt so much anxiety, sadness and hopelessness ever since I had my first child 10 years ago. Just hearing you articulate nearly every grief I’ve been holding on to for the past decade has brought me some relief. I’ve felt like it was my fault because I “chose” wrong (didn’t marry a man who made more money, didn’t wait longer to have kids, didn’t go back to school for a masters degree and on and on and on.. I feel like I can let go of blaming myself because this really is a problem of the modern society we live in.. it’s a collective problem. You’ve given me a lot to think about in terms of finding a path that will allow me to give in to the desire and calling I feel on my heart and in every part of my soul to be the mom/wife my family needs. ❤
Great insight so thankful for a mother who sacrificed and stayed home with me and I did the same with my kids and I see my daughter doing the same thing with her kids. I pray that God uses you to speak truth to many mothers. We have a one shot chance at raising our small children when it’s gone, you can never redo it. I don’t shop at target anymore because they are anti-family. God bless you.
The first sentence!!! Couldn’t agree more. Part time mother of three, has made some sacrifices professionally and financially, and despite pressures from (female) coworkers, and couldn’t be more grateful for this information to validate what I’ve known in my heart.
Feminism is more about corporate/political control of the citizenry, means to drive the economy, voting influence, and a larger employment income to tax from; and lastly an easier way to have a greater control of your children by way of the state.
Thank you for continuing to do this Suzanne! From the first interview I've ever seen you and you've been so consistent and forthright. I try to spread this message to as many people as will listen.
This is a fantastic video. You hit the nail on the head. And communicate the logic in a very simple and soothing manner. When people push you to question long held beliefs that are core to your perceived identity, it can go terribly wrong very quickly if a woman isn't ready to acknowledge the circumstances and do the hard things necessary to course correct. You're a great messenger for this very important topic and I hope that you have success reaching many women with your message, and enabling them with the knowledge and tools they need to truly serve themselves.
Life is full of tradeoffs. Unfortunately people can't have it all. Going for a career can come at the expense of families, and vise-versa. You're right, WE ALL NEED TO LEARN TO LIVE WITH LESS.
I’ve only read the title and I’m in full agreement. I’m a 35 year old single mom (husband left) and have no clue what the hell is going on in my life. Edit: Oh, the first sentence that comes out of her mouth is my reality. I was a stay at home mom for 4 years. Husband had multiple affairs (I had no clue) and left me high and dry, without financial stability. Ladies- even if you are at home, bring in some money for yourself and put it away!!!
@@MissLovely88I let him have everything except the house. He was also abusive. I knew if I let him have the money he would leave us alone and let me go
@@monicamiller9345 live and learn. Chad/ Tyrone/ Habib are the most likely to cheat because they are the most attractive to most females. Most ordinary men who you don't notice at all in every day life CAN'T cheat because they don't have the options to cheat in the first place.
Hi Suzanne, thank you for the amazing content! I can relate so hard to some of the other commenters in that I had a big identity crisis when I became a mom and found myself burned out from working a full time job. My daughter was 6 months old and my husband and I decided that I'd take a part time job so that I could spend more time with our daughter. I was 31 years old at the time and had been working since I was 16. Worked all throughout college and at 25 was fully financially independent living on my own and so proud of myself. Well that pride carried through to be my identity. I was so wrapped up in the idea that I could make it on my own and that was still my mentality as I became a wife. I've been slowly getting more comfortable with relying on my husband as the provider and not feeling ashamed that I'm not contributing financially to our family. When I made the transition from full time to part time work I felt like I constantly had to justify to myself why I made the switch. I grew up the child of a single parent and the only life I'd ever known was that of a full time working mom. Naturally I thought working full time to provide for my family was just what you do as a parent. Thankfully my mind has been changed in many ways to see my job as a mom as the most cherished and important job I can have. I'm seeing now that children are only little for the short window of time and if I prioritize work over being there for my kids I'll regret that later on. I'm happy to report that I'll be switching to full time stay at home mom in the near future! Thanks again for your encouragement 😊
I am an angel investor. My dad (who just retired) was an econ professor for over 50 years. I have grown up with, and have been privy to an ungodly amount of people who look at market trends not to make a quick buck, but rather recognise and educate any ody willing to listen about what changes in the markets mean, and how to make educated decisions on the future. And i say this with knowing and learning for about a decade now about the problems women have caused, you are the only other person i know that is talking about this from a strictly educational perspective. Hats off to you, and thank you.
Thank you for speaking up!! The idea that it's weak to submit to a husband whom loves and cares about you, but strong to submit to some asshole corporate boss who doesn't care about you, is asinine.
As o first time mom, I can attest to all the criticism around the choice to stay home with kids. Its almost seen as being lazy or the easy way out. Embarrassingly, I used to think this way prior to having kids and would almost negatively judge women who decided to stop working and stay home with their kids as this was the messaging I had always been given as a millennial female…boy was I wrong! Now that I’m a mom, I can’t imagine wanting anything else more then to stay home with my infant son. My career has just completely taken a backseat amongst my desires, priorities, etc.
I was a sahm ....I worked at a daycare after my kids were out of HS, and both my son and daughter worked at different daycares ...we NEVER had the horror stories of sharing meeting .... BUT both daughter, sahm ....and son who when he marries will have a sahm ...Was this because of what they witnessed in the daycare setting ? Or because I was a sahm? I could write a book the stories were just sad...Never , ever think you know what your wonderful daycare is like behind the scenes..choose wisely
I worked at a home day care so I could be with my son. We were both tired and sickly every other week. Its not normal for 2 people to care for 15 kids.
A lot of wisdom in this video. Thank you for saying things many are thinking, but woun’t admit. Seeing how exhausted many are, I am grateful for not having the same responsibilities.
What will convince men to earn more AND get married when doing so has become an unconscionable contract? I don’t ask this as a gotcha. 70% or more of divorces are initiated by women, and the man is frequently made an indentured servant who loses access to his children. Even if more women embrace motherhood, why should a man assume such overwhelming risk?
Thank you for talking about this, because many platforms do not address these issues. I have had my first kid two years ago and everything you are saying is extremely on point. I did not expect my whole mind to shift once having a baby.
A whole generation fallowed few noisy feminists in to a demise. This whole situation is ironic and I as a man, find it very hard not to say I told you so.
You are so right we have been lied to, to a certain degree. I have worked outside of the home but not for long my husband and I both realized early that it was better that I stay at home with our kids. We have three sons who are adults now. But I have to say there have been times where I wanted to go back to work because I do have a degree but I think I made the right choice. He sees me as his equal and we each have certain gifts and it does work.
If it’s any help I would be one of the three sons in that scenario. My mom stayed at home with my two brothers and I didn’t realize how big of a bonus it was to have my mom home when I came home from school. I was never a latch-key kid, never had to do any after school programs just because no one was home, mom could pick us up and was always happy to see us come home. It really meant a lot looking back and I’m so thankful she was always home and there for us. I think you’ve done terrific by your kids
I'm a single father raising my child alone since she was a baby. I fought to get remote work so I could be home with her 24/7. I streamlined my finances to be able to live on far less. I moved from the city to a rural location where life is a lot cheaper. It is doable if you are willing to give up luxuries. It has been very much worthwhile.
@@kc6810 I agree for an infant. No way to work regularly. I guess that's why civilized nations have maternity leave. However, I did it as a single father of a toddler, alone with no help. I wasn't easy, I didn't work the dream job I wanted, and yes, I was sleep deprived. More than one child of that age? Yeah, I don't see how that can be done.
Just the facts: Modern marriage law makes marriage an impossible choice. Colorado law, for example, was drastically updated in 2013, removing any remaining judicial discretion if one party chooses the unilateral divorce option. The law mandates absolute equality in money brought into the home by each person. If one brings in more, he will be penalized, even more so if the marriage produced children. What other reason can be cited for the more than 80% of divorces being initiated by women?
That's because as men we are treated as a stupid, violent, sexist, knuckle-dragging underclass. Women created this problem, now let's see them get themselves out of it - without the help of men.
I’m 28yrs old and I’m a SAHM and I’m married to my high school sweetheart. You would not believe the amount of judgement I receive when people hear I stay home to raise our son. You can’t win either way. Men and women constantly judge when they hear I’m not ‘working’....even though I actually am! I’m a stay at home mom - but I also nanny another child in my home alongside my son, and on the weekends I teach yoga at fitness studios. So I’m literally doing both but I’m literally seen as an unintelligent uneducated woman whose trying to take the easy way out. It’s hard mentally honestly. But I guess these days it’s hard either way!! I’m confident in our lifestyle because raising the next generation is the most important job in the world in my uneducated opinion....and it starts when they are babies and toddlers. I’m glad this conversation is happening and people are waking up. Maybe soon more women will find ways to step outside of the rat race and we won’t be so looked down upon for doing what’s natural to us!!! Those who change diapers are changing the world 😅🌎💗
There was this important phrase that years past everybody used to know: The hand that rocks the cradle, rules the world. I see your updated version with changing diapers and yes! Still works! Moms can change the world for better or worse depending on how they raise their kids. We are truly powerful and don't even know it.
@@kc6810 you don't have to actively participate in the world to add to it. No one is saying that a Mom cannot re-enter the rat race after kids, just that she shouldn't be denigrated for choosing her children over a job.
I got tired of hearing professional women say “ oh, you’re so lucky you can afford to stay home.” It’s a choice! We have a very small house, eat from scratch at home, shop at thrift stores, and go camping for vacations. Being a homemaker, prioritizing my family and our home is my greatest joy!
... not to mention saving on taxes, work clothes, work transport, "de-stress" expenditures, and there can be lots of mental health/relationship benefits which can translate to monetary benefit.
staying at home is a sacrifice! I agree with you. And on top of that, I chose to stay home and homeschool my children, thus, not having social security, retirement, etc. I have been sick and tired of hearing this too! (My husband worked an entry-level job and we are NOT wealthy!) But you know what? Working outside the home is also a sacrifice. I'd rather sacrifice the money than the fulfillment of being a mom and making sure that I have done as much as I could to raise my family well! I am a "Millennial"--HAPPILY living a traditional life! If you're reading this, wondering if it's possible, IT IS!! Please, at least, consider it!
What's wrong with camping?
@@wb5408agree! Stayed home for 9 years , never regretted. Also “millennial”;)
Nothing is wrong with camping but many families think they're not keeping up with both working parents that go to woke "Disneyland" or lego land or some other thousands of dollar trips. It's a false premise, but the thought is there
I'm not a conservative person by any means, but I've always felt so much pressure to live up to this unrealistic ideal placed on Millennial women from the second they were born. No one can live up to this expectation and many are suffering in silence.
Staying home with your baby is a natural desire. Dumping your baby off with strangers at daycare is not natural or good for the mother and child.
And now it comes out that those raised by day care are less likely to stay married because they have bonding issues.
What's wrong with being a conservative person?
The Devil Wears Prada culture.. vultures.
@@swisschalet1658they are still struggling with the modern programming that traditional or conservative means evil and not just what it natural.
@@swisschalet1658Both 'conservatives ' and 'radicals' are mentally out of balance. Only the 'liberal' mind ( open minded with a healthy degree of skepticism ) is a truly balanced perspective. Liberal comes from the Latin "libra", a reference to the zodiac sign of the balance scales.
How conservatives abuse the term as an insult demonstrates typical conservative ignorance. That is what's 'wrong' with being a conservative. Especially today's conservatives who openly advocate fascist law and order baloney, while remaining conviently ignorant of the nature and exsistance of our American system of ethical self government. Beauracratic ' 15:58 Law' is merely the ignorance of ethics.
I was thiiis close to ending up like this in my family and marriage. I had my first born when I was 23, after having three miscarriages. I said I was going to go back to work at 6 weeks because that was our “plan.” But I couldn’t. And then it was 12 weeks. But I still couldn’t. Maybe it was the loss of three babies before having one to hold in my arms but I became fiercely protective and my husband saw the change. We threw our “plan” for me to go back to work out the window and he put his nose to the dirt and PUSHED to make it happen. That beautiful wonderful man did anything necessary to make sure our first born son had his mother home with him. Even sometimes working 3 jobs to do so. I saw my husband turn from a young man wanting the “norm” in life to a fighting father and husband to give his wife and children the absolute best. We may not be financially rich but we are absolutely rich in our family life. He is the BEST man I have ever known, only second to Jesus Christ. I could not have done this life without him.
Better treat him well. My wife decided to stop all sex with me once she got pregnant with our first. Sounds like he’s a good dude don’t neglect him.
I love this for you!! That's so amazing to hear. Thanks for sharing something uplifting like this!
@@dr.vonslifeinvesting6485you know she’s already on tinder while homeboy is working 3 jobs
@@dr.vonslifeinvesting6485none of my business why, but I do hope you take the time and give your wife the time to tell you why. Please be patient. Pregnancy and birth changes the body. Birth can make sex more painful for years afterwards. Lack of sleep, stress, all can affect. And these things can also make people more annoyed with others and more easily angered unfortunately.
@@dr.vonslifeinvesting6485 Something hormonal could be going on. Maybe she can check that out. Good luck to you both.
As a man in a single-income household, I cannot express the unstoppable drive to provide for my family, my wife has been the homemaker for 30 years & our kids are so much better off because of it, despite both of us struggling with our separate & distinct roles. The key is understanding & agreeing upon the roles and embracing them
Congratulations, you're the 50% that didn't get divorced.
100% agree! Traditional roles just work for my husband and i
My husband is dying for me to go back to work 😢
Why do so many kids look like the wife’s tennis coach?
I am a stay at home mom, married to a youth pastor who does contracting work on the side to supplement income. We are POOR! And yet we are wealthy. We have everything we could ever need and a church that will take care of us in times of trouble (praise God for His provision). We have the joy and peace of myself being able to raise our children. My husband is happy to come home and be able to enjoy his children without worrying about splitting the house work. Getting into ministry and deciding to live off of one income was a sacrifice we decided to make and it has come with countless blessings. I am so grateful to be home with my children and to hopefully have more! All glory to Jesus Christ for making this life possible for us.
My dear you are NOT poor. I have a similar situation at home and my wife and I most definitely do not consider ourselves poor. Like my wife and I you and your husband are broke. I can't afford everything we want. But I can make ends meet and she runs the house and homeschools the kids who are turning out stable and happy. If there is happiness and God in the home, you are never poor. Only a little broke from time to time.
🙄🙄
You're not poor in a first world country, you have a smartphone, you have the potential to make money online, you have peace, you have family (real human relationships).
poor is when someone is living in the street or can't afford to have even one meal in a day and has to go a fee days out of 7 without food.
She said, YET WE ARE WEALTHY and everyone skipped that to focus on poor. Women really are high in negative emotion haha.
I think it would be wise for women to stop looking for approval and 'validation' from our society. We live in Sodom and Gomorrah 2.0, worrying about how you compare to the culture is a bad rubric. If your family income is $20,000 a year, and your expenses are $12,000, you're a high earner. If you compare yourself with a diversity tzar making $350,000, you're going to think you're doing something wrong.
God bless you for that! Motherhood is one of the greatest callings as well. Continue being a proverbs 31 wife and may God cover all your needs
You know the feminist movement screwed up when Candice Bushnell, the creator of Sex and the City, admits as much.
Correction: The Industrial Revolutions have screwed everything up.
Oops.
😂👍
Precisely. That show is funny but it's toxic. Even dangerous.
In all fairness she may have been just as unhappy being a housewife .. I’m not saying she would but simply saying you can’t assume a different way of life means happiness .. the grass is always greener on the other side of the tracks
As an almost 60-year old, I listened to this with tears in my eyes. The sadness I feel for my younger sisters is heartfelt. They were lied to by their mothers, by their grandmothers, aunts, and by society at large. Thank you for speaking truth to them.
They were lied to. But they also chose to believe it.
They were lied to by women. They were not lied to by men. Men never wanted this but were not allowed to speak, were and are called toxic, mysgonistic ( cant spell) and shamed and shut down for even opening their mouths. Your comment is nearly right but not 100% right. Society did not lie to women, feminists ( women) lied to women so please stop including men by saying society. Thank you.
In the midwest I think most of them understood they wanted to have a kid, and most of them dead. These coastal liberal women though, I think most of them missed their window of opportunity.
@@killman369547 They loved the lies, they enjoyed having their egos gassed up by the media and the State.
I think alot of what happened: Earlier generation moms either emotionally abandoned child or broke the family up. Then a narcissistic reaction developed over the existentual wound in the children the got oasswd down through generations that motherhood was "less than". Except women are finally seeing the emptiness of having corporate careers. (At least some of them are). Alice Miller talks about the narcissist would process in Drama of the Gifted Child.
I met my husband at the age of 34 at the height of my career. We quickly married and got pregnant. I will NEVER LOOK BACK. I am full-on homeschooling mom, working from home (very flexible hours), and love being home with my 3 kids. I am so grateful every day that God brought this man into my life. My career never brought me this joy, peace and fulfillment.
This is what I'm aiming for! Congrats on the life you have created!
Would have been much better off had you done same thing at age 20 - 24. And then had a career at age 40 to 55, then retire early with husband and travel world. Etc. I'm 58 and experienced enough to know there isn't ANY woman, almost 15 years past her wild college days, I would want to start a family with. I have better choices in life.
so glad for you, your story I have heard many times
@@andre1987ephnot everyone has “wild college days”…. You do not know this woman’s situation. I didn’t get married until 27. I have some sweet Christian gal friends who have never slept around, who are 30 or over and still looking. Let’s not pretend all women are the same. Cmon.
Thanks for sharing, can you explain more about how you balance working from home and home-schooling? Plus quality time with your husband?
I’ve got a few observations to make:
1. Selling the idea that women should/need to work outside the home is a result of social engineering, starting with feminism.
2. The sexual revolution further convinced women to work against their inborn nature and their personal interests.
3. Pressuring women to take on massive debt to get degrees, which supposedly will make them SAIDNNM, convinced them to put off marriage and motherhood until it’s too late.
4. The government has been there along the way encouraging women to look to it, rather than marrying a husband.
5. Modern men and women don’t do very well when it comes to sacrificing or delaying gratification. How many women are willing to reduce their lifestyle in order to marry? Maybe the idea of a dowry wasn’t so bad.
So you have hormonal birth control messing up your biology and societal pressures messing up your heads. The only way out is to swim against the current.
I went to college, got married young, have worked small part time roles around being a primarily stay at home Mom and am now going back to reasonable part time work that I enjoy while my kids are in school. My degree is not wasted. I was able to be traditional but holy cow do I need something else to do while they’re in school. Why is always this narrative of women being all one way or the other? I wouldn’t have met my husband or been able to support him in his career without it even as I now use it for my own. I never ever feel represented in any of these conversations. A down to earth moderate person who’s stayed with my children but still has work ambitions now that they’re older. It’s not Earth shattering.
@@andianderson3017Its ok, keep framing through critical theory. Its ok for your people and family to die out.
There's no way out
I’m sure you think this is a very profound and original thought 🙄
Women have constantly been warned about all of these things though. The problem is that we push blame onto others. For example how many times has a well meaning stranger asked or made comments about your marital status or how many children you have etc?? I know I've been asked many times and had many comments directed my way, but most women seem to take their advice and input as insulting, instead of admitting that you're only 30 and you don't know it all.
Women, especially in my own age group 25-40 are incapable of taking any criticism constructively. They take every chance to be offended instead of looking at themselves. All my friends, sadly, are 15+ years older than me because I HATE HATE HATE my own age group. I wish they'd grow up and start listening instead of complaining.
I am one of those women who has no choice but to work due to being the sole provider. I am working to teach my daughters to plan their lives carefully - choose men to marry who can help them to be able to fully devote themselves to motherhood. Prepare themselves to be wives and mothers. Be cognizant if their biological clock and plan accordingly. I hope our generation is the last to be sold these lies.
I think so
We women are cyclical
Now, we also need to look more feminine, not wear workout clothing outside, but more dresses/skirts.
It also seemed to change after 1990
@@kathleenking47I do not know what you mean by women being cyclical but I can assure you, this generation of women are being hit over the head with the realities of the dating market via direct experiences they're all having and yet none are willing to leap to the logic that they're the problem with the market. They alone can fix it. The problem? They don't want to. They want both sides of their sexual selection strategy and they think they can shame men in to submission to fulfil their backup strategy when they can't get 6'6 Chaddeus Vladimir Thunderschlong III to commit. This is an unsolvable Rubiks cube.
Technology is rapidly changing the ways in which men meet their sexual needs and culture and woken are significantly disincentivising male interest in the pursuit of women. Then there's the unfortunate reality that women just don't like men that much and that's not an opinion, it is reflected in the data. Most women view most men as significantly beneath them. The numbers all reflect a trend of low births and low marriages and we are in the infancy of the technological changes driving this forward, this is set to exponentially get worse.
Men are taking marriage off the table completely. Marriage is becoming a thing of the past. By 2030 50% of women will be childless and single, and will die alone.
It will be the last lie sold, because these are the last generations. Find a good man you can die happy with, it won't be too much longer before everything falls apart.
You need God. And Men of God. Theres no other way. A man who serves himself is lost.
They didn’t “kill their drive” they dragged wages down by over saturating the market by increasing the supply of workers by 100%.
If most women quit their jobs, wages for men would increase significantly,
Thank you so much! I am a 30 years old brazilian woman, I am a physician and up until 3 years ago my life surrounded my career. I had plans on getting out of university and continuing my studies and working indefinitely. When I met my now husband, 3 years ago, he asked me “have you considered the possibility of having other priorities rather than your career?” That was a breath of fresh air. I realized how much I wanted to have children and build a family, take care of our home and our health. But I never allowed myself to prioritize that! I changed my priorities completely.
yeah but you decided to be a doctor and now your quitting and cheating society out of that doctor. So first you're a really crappy, doctor. Second, you better pay for that, because you took from society when you did that. The whole reason women can't even be mothers is you stole their feminity and you need to accept that price.
As a therapist who sees mostly post partum moms and women with anxiety this is 100% spot on. Every single word. I see about 5 clients per week because for now my young children are my first priority and they have been since the day they were born. I took 18 months off with each baby to nurse them. My husband and I planned for this since day 1. Using my income to pay things off so when we had children we had no debt , making one income more comfortable. We always lived off of just his income to make sure we were used to it. Best decision I ever made and now I see how many women also have this desire to stay home with their children . It’s a real struggle and I work with mothers all the time on how to change their situations. ❤
Excellent.
I love hearing this story! I work with postpartum moms too and have encountered this struggle as well.
Your awesome. Yall keep that house and love up
LEARNING to live on one income and becoming debt free...
Is the KEY
I think women need to follow advice of other women who teach them to be feminine and virtuous. No, women, you can’t spend your twenties being passed around by men while you focus on college and then expect a good stable man to settle down with you like you’re a fresh option he needs. Sorry
Quitting my job and becoming a SAHM cannot wait! Not because it will be easy, but because it's what I am meant to do right now.
Hope it works out. It's a bad move for a guy to do that though. Marriage and having kids isn't worth the risk for most men now.
you can do it❤
My wife and I knew these truths 36 years ago. My wife had a job and a degree when we met. When we had our son, she quit to be a mother when our son was born. She was in her element and happy being a stay at home mom, but her peers looked down on her for not working outside the home. Women asked for and created feminism and the lie that women's path to happiness was working.
I won't be surprised if feminism was engineered by the gov't to literally double the amount tax payers for more gov't spending or to tackle debt, AND THEY STILL FUCKED UP THE GOV'T DEBT
Women have ALWAYS WORKED. That did not start with Feminism. Feminism gave women the right to a bank account, to get a loan without a man's permission.
You're twisting what feminism was about.
My HUSBAND gave me no choice but to work. In fact his words were "ope, back to work, no more sleeping in" "I'm sorry I don't make 70k a year, you have to work."
It is THE MEN not allowing this. Period.
So society invested in her job and degree and then she just gave up on all that when it came time to do the real work. Thanks for cheating us all out of that society and degree.
They were not selling women happiness they were selling them power.
@@AG-nn8lp Back in the day, women worked in the home, where they could balance child-care with domestic duties. It was of course hard work, and was unpaid except indirectly through the contribution of their husbands. Men worked outside the home. It was also hard work, probably harder than today. Nonetheless, families as traditionally constructed managed to do alright. Feminism drove women to work outside the home. That is why it was supported by big capital. The work-force was doubled while wages fell. Outsourcing child-care does not satisfy women and many cannot afford it. Feminism, supported by industry, media and finance, aggressively pushed for this new system and it suits neither women nor men. Of course, feminists and women more generally deny any responsibility and continue to blame men. All while demanding that men continue their traditional roles of providing, while also demanding they provide child-care. The men also cannot do both. The reason your husband's wages at 70K a year were insufficient, is due to these society-wide forces. The changes were wrought by feminism and the inevitable tendency of capital to lower the cost of labor, both in league with governments of all political persuasions.
Thank you for speaking the truth so eloquently. I'm a woman in my 50s: single and no kids. Deeply regret not being a mother; I was married to my career of "helping others" (school teacher) and never took the time to think honestly about motherhood when I should have. Thank you for helping young women. May God bless you.
The scriptures say "husband" and "wife" -- "father" and "mother" - the word "partner" is nowhere to be seen.
Agreed!
Why do Christians have to hijack morality? Like there are no other religions on planet earth, only Christianity ::eye roll::
Your scriptures are stolen from Judaism. Your religion has been taken from Judaism.
Ok
Mmoi
@MarvelousMarie92 and God presented the man a virgin woman that made for him and to obey him. That's not the norm now is it?
@@felixthecat2786Stolen? Are you Jewish? Jesus is a Jew 😂 Why does he have a Hebrew name of Yeshua? If you are, read your Tenach Isaiah 53.
I was lucky to make the transition before becoming a mother. I became a Christian as a Newlywed and over time my values changed drastically. We decided to buy our home on only one income (even if we didn’t have any kids yet).
Today I’m pregnant with my second and so happy to get to stay home and focus on raising my kids and homeschooling. Every year I’ve become more and more passionate about home making. I find inspiration from other home makers and Stay at Home Moms on RUclips.
All my friends are career moms and at this point I’m starting to see a real difference in how their little ones behave who grew up in daycare. You don’t see the damage in the kids right away but after 3-4 years of daycare the behaviour is a lot worse in kids who spent their early years in daycare.
Community is important and I don’t think I could live this way without the support from other Stay at Home Moms online. I live in a big city and “the normal way to live” in this city is to hate housework and be super career focused. 😂
This video is resignating so much with me. I was a SAHM for 7 years. I returned to work for a couple of years and quickly lost myself. I was so depressed, I missed my kids so much. I missed my husband. I felt like I was drowning. I was doing great in my job. But my home life was struggling. When my husband and i started discussing me returning home, others around me suggested that maybe it was just this job. Maybe I should just pursue a different career. But I knew there was no job that was going to make having basically no time with my family worth it. Im back at home, I do some gig work on the side, but its much less than what I was working. And my kids are doing so much better now that mom is back at home.
My experience is the complete opposite. It’s not a one size fits all. I’m not a worse mom for it. I just get fulfillment in different ways.
And your husband is completely at your mercy and that of the family court. Should you choose to file for no fault divorce and alimony/child support for completely petty reasons, for example deciding to leave him for another man most likely the court will rule in your favor. The day your husband agreed to be the sole provider he put a potential noose around his neck because that is what family court looks at, who's been paying what percentage of the bills: barely any modern SAHMs can appreciate the risk the husband takes with modern laws as they are, but these are the laws that women for the last 3 generations voted for where they get to do a switcharoo at age 30 and it's the man potentially on the hook.
My mother was a stay at home mom and my 3 siblings and I loved it. I am so thankful to her and when asked if we would like her to go back to work, if it meant more money, we always said "Noooooo!"
I am so glad to hear that your kids are doing better now that you are back. God bless you and your husband for doing what you feel is best for your kids- even if it means living on one income.
My family had years when money was tighter. But as a kid/teen that allowed me to see how God provides for people who trust in Him. When you have all you need, you don't get to see that. But I still remember my mother and myself praying for things and God being very generous in providing. We always had more than we needed.
But He also gave us contentment and a loving and peaceful home environment.
He changed my parents over time to become increasingly loving and wise and I got to see it over the decades. Without him they would have divorced. But they wanted to obey him and stuck with it. They asked Him to help them forgive and love each other in the hard times and he came through. Now they are 40 years in and still in love and best friends.
With God there is
Hope for marriage that lasts but also thrives.
SAHM. I made the choice to stay home for the last 18 years. My youngest is 13. And let me tell you I’ve received many nasty comments from other women about our choice. But guess what, our home is happy, clean and organized.
If I ever did my mom would flip 😢
don't listen to those other women, they are jealous you have what many of them truly want
My husband and I are both high school teachers. Since having my children I was able to transition to teach part time online exclusively from home. It’s not always easy, but incredibly practical .
We are still in our starter home of 6 years, 3rd child on the way. We live modestly and happily! Raising my children is the most natural thing I’ve ever done. Yes, motherhood is hard. But it is beyond rewarding.
Economically , it made sense for our family to have me stay home. Initially, it was an incredibly difficult transition because I put so much stock into my work, which burnt me out and created a huge identity crisis. But when I took time to grow personally, in my marriage and motherhood- I found a core identity of child of God. Everything else is built around it. I embrace my femininity and role as wife and mother. We are the heart of the home. I am honored to be a stay at home mom and wife.
Your children will turn out so much better being raised by...their own mother. Kudos.
Same thing happened to me! When I started staying home with my first 5 years ago at age 21- I would have thoughts DAILY on how what I'm doing is purposeless and meaningless. I can't really understand why I felt this way, because before I got married I was a live in nanny for a family and was totally invested in loving children- but I had gone to public school my whole life too so I've always had the 'anxiety of my future career and college education ' thing in my head. But, now 5 years later I am finally embracing it all am I'm okay with it! I no longer have those constant thoughts and feelings. I'm homeschooling also. So now OTHER thoughts and feelings can plague my mind regarding homeschooling - but I'm going to push that out as well and push THROUGH.
Is god male or female?
I struggled with that identity crisis when I left my job to be a full-time mama as well. I went to college, got a degree, and enjoyed my job and enjoyed my earnings. I was the breadwinner between my husband and myself. I was incredibly vain, regularly getting hair and nails done, being trendy for work and gym, etc.
When we made the switch it was rough. I was miserable for a long time. 5 years later I am finally accepting it. It’s like I had been brainwashed by school and media and society. My babies are so much more important than all that other bull 💩.
We are staying home and homeschooling now.
I used to work for a man born in 1930. He said that before women joined the work force everyone could afford a wife and kids. With two workers families had more money and caused inflation. Now hardly anyone can afford a wife and kids. He was a soldier with a stay at home wife and 8 kids. Wives used to cook meals economically and made clothes and mended clothes. Wives used coupons and looked for bargains. There was an expression that 2 can live as cheaply as one which meant the wife earned her keep by saving them money. Single men use tailors, restaurants, store bought clothes and pay higher prices for everything. People don't know that anymore and divorce court has obliterated the concept.
Agree with you, they destroyed the family unit, for cooperation greed😢
Horrible life for a woman
Also, when there were far more single-income families, that made the labour supply/demand ratio different. Notice that wages have stagnated, and now, it takes two incomes. It would be an interesting chicken vs egg discussion.
This is interesting cuz I've seen this said before. Bringing women into the workforce brought down wages. Makes u think that it was all planned. Wow
Great video Suzanne. I’m a millennial & a stay at home mom to our 16 month old. My husband started his business in 2020 and it’s what really pushed me to having a child, knowing I could stay home and raise them as we saw fit. I wish every woman has the opportunity to stay home with their babies because it’s the most incredible journey and is hands down the best thing for mom, dad and baby. God bless!
Imagine being on the flip side of this, you are a SAHM to a second baby and you have the MIL trash talking you to your husband (her son)…. Saying that I need to go to work! Not gonna happen 🙅♀️ not gonna drop my kids off at daycare to please her ! 👎
Your husband needs to tell her that she doesn’t run his family! Smh.
@@PinkTaurus93 and he has, but the woman can’t seem to keep her mouth shut! He’s defended me many times, but she always gives her opinion. I’m so happy we live no where near her!
Can't even imagine. Hope you and hubby are a unit on this.
I hope your husband is not getting itching ears from his mother.
Is he on your side?
My husband gets really, really angry when mother in law starts running her mouth. He always shoots her down and we leave. It is a rare occasion nowadays because of it.
@@SuzanneVenkerAuthor thankfully we are a unit on this subject. Money is so tight right now, and when I hear her talking about me… I get so depressed and sad because I’m not helping out financially 😭 but he understands our 9mo hasn’t been easy and our 5yr old is easy, so my hands are full. The woman doesn’t like the fact that she never had the opportunity to be a SAHM since she was a single mother…. But her comparing me to her situation, is unfair. I’m trying my hardest to start on online business to try to contribute financially.
This hits home!!!! In the African American community, there’s a high expectation for women to be successful financially while the expectation is low for men. My own mom didn’t want me to be a stay at home mom in case my husband decided out of the blue to leave me! When there weren’t any red flags/history that he would do such a thing. When the discussion came up about my husband being a stay at home dad while I continue to work she was all on board for that!
most cultures would feel their daughter is being TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF if she works and the dad stays home.
Black women have a different struggle. Our men are trash, they abandon children, we get stuck with responsibilities and we dont have generational weather passed down to us. We ride and die and cape for our dusty men... not by choice but because who else is going to do it
I say date outside of the race or make better choices but hell, the choices we have are the choices in our communities. 1 thing I won't do is listen to whyt women plateforms. Their journey is not ours
I did what you mentioned and regret it. I could not be the breadwinner,birth mother and nourishment for my children too.
I would not encourage this plan. Men need to work outside of the home...it is good for their soul. I totally respect this womans vlog today.
It’s crazy how they shove their fears of men onto their daughters. Teaching them to fear being taken advantage of by men even when there are no signs or the man is decent
I’m not sure where this fear comes from..70-80% of divorces are initiated by women but the cultural message is “women need to have an education and career just in case the man leaves”..statistically it’s the other way around. ALL the men in my life take commitment very seriously. If there’s any discussion of divorce, it’s very rarely the man.
I'm a divorced dad, see my son several times per week and have a cordial relationship with my ex. I even taught her to snowboard after getting divorced.
I paid for her nursing school while working 2 jobs myself and only started college after divorce. She makes more money than I do, and she's always made sure I knew it. Oddly enough, she's been trying get back together before after 13 years, she still can't seem to find Prince Charming. I wish her the best, but I'm happy with my life, and so is my 15 year old son, who decided he'd rather live with me than moody mom. Life is GOOOD!
😂 karma at it's best
I did not how blessed I’ve been all this time to be a stay home mom all this years . Thanks to you ! I felt miserable and like I was missing out because I wasn’t “pitching “ in an continuing my career . Now I feel lucky. My husband use to earn $1,000 a month when we first got together while having our first child now he earns 10x that amount and we made it work through the struggles of having a tight income❤
My old roommates are going through this. Let’s call them Shanon and Betty.
Shanon got married at 22 to some dude with 16 years on her in terms of age. He basically retired her at 24 to be a mother. To this day, one of the only long lasting relationships I’ve personally witnessed.
Betty went to college and only dated men who were hot but non-committing. Eventually she ends up a single mom to two kids and can no longer work and complains online about how men ain’t shit cause they won’t retire her and pay for her mistakes with those hot bums.
This is natural selection playing out. If you make mating decisions based on excitement and novelty, male or female, you will pay the cost eventually. If a man is conventionally attractive and has options, he does not stick around when “woops birth control didn’t work this month!” Comes around. Women try to trap/lock down hot men with children and wonder why being a single mom is so rough 😂
The women were gullible, but your story does not reflect well on men either.
@@lorrilewis2178 Not the men these excitement-seeking women choose, it does reflect well however on the men who look for young women with motherhood in their minds and marry them.
@@MeidoInHebun I guess you are unaware that tons of young men are not even in the job market. 50% of them are not dating.
Young women have a plethora of terrible choices in men these days, and many women are saying they'd rather remain single than throw away their lives by being with one of them.
I have a wonderful niece who has a high-paying job. By the time she was in her late-twenties, she noticed how immature so many men are. She described them as being like children. She decided to have a baby on her own and her mother lives with her and helps.
Studies on single mothers with good careers are not showing the bad outcomes seen in previous studies of single mothers, most of whom were living in poverty. The ones with skills and good salaries are doing as well as two-parent families.
@@lorrilewis2178 lol, cope hard
@@lorrilewis2178 I agree with @MeidoInHebun
The reason why so many 12-27 year old males aren't striving to be in the workforce is because 12-27 year old females are making it perfectly clear that they have no interest in wasting their youth, beauty, and fertility on their husband.
As such, the temptation for males to coast through their teens and twenties is massive. If women made it clear that they were willing to get married young, men would respond to the incentives and spend their teens and twenties preparing to be husbands
"But, she needs to be protected from husbands who are abusive! She needs a career as an insurance policy!"
Perhaps...but I'd argue that fathers, grandfathers, uncles, older brothers, pastors, and church elders used to be a part of the vetting process of a prospective husband AND they'd hold abusive husbands accountable for being abusive. Granted, they didn't always do those two duties correctly, but families and churches used to perform critical roles in ensuring that marriages stood the test of time.
I feel incredibly grateful for my husband when my daughter was born I told him I wish I could satay home with her and he said to me “There’s no better place for our daughter than at home with you. If I have to get a second job I will” he didn’t need to because we had always lived on one income mine was savings and retirement. Yes, we aren’t able to contribute as much to our retirement for now, but we’ll catch up later in life. I wouldn’t trade being home with my babies watching them grow and raising them. God is so good!
Praise God for your testimony.
God bles your marriage and family.
@@yamiletsoler3464God bless you.
I love spicy exotic food!
It's important for everyone to be prepared to be a provider. Someone may rely on you. It could be a wife, husband, child or relative. Things don't always go as planned.
Im 59. I wasnt groomed to believe that having a career was the be all and end all. Ive never liked children. I really enjoyed setting up and running my trucking business.
We are all different, some women are meant to be mothers and homemakers, others are happy working. Just know yourself
I have been home for almost 15 years now. We have 7 kids ages almost 15 down to 15 months. I enjoyed being home so much I decided to homeschool. My oldest are now in 9th grade! We have never been rich. We rent, have no debt and save aggressively so emergencies are just inconveniences. God has been so so good!
the best thing you can do in this society is raise your children to be confident, healthy, successful, happy adults -- the family unit is our greatest strength not our military
I asked my wife, "If I made a million dollars a year, would you quit your job?"
She said, "No."
I was so disappointed.
So sad. Hope you don't have children.
I'm sorry, maybe she'll come around. This mindset is so ingrained in us ladies we have buried our soul in some ways.
Sorry... i think your wife may have a work husband, just saying.
She’s not the loyal woman you think she is. Trust me
These are questions to ask before marriage.
My 50 something advice to 30 something women is do what’s right for you and your family. That is all that matters. If you must work, don’t feel bad about it. Treasure the time you do have with your family. If you can stay home with your kids, do it. They are only young once, and careers ain’t all that.
you only get one chance to raise your kids, don't trade that for anything
I can’t help but have this feeling that I totally wasted my twenties looking for my purpose and trying to build a career. Overall I was so unhappy. My husband and I were together for almost ten years before we had our first baby and when he was born I suddenly had the realization that this is what I was meant to be doing all along. Now I’m a stay at home mom and couldn’t be happier. I couldn’t imagine leaving my babies and going to work every day. I wish I knew sooner that it was ok to be “just a mom”. I would have been so much happier in my twenties even if we did have less money.
So true. At some point I will retire from my job, but I will never retire from my family. 🥰🥰🥰
Facts all around!!! I was never taught this but will make sure my two daughters assume they will want to have kids and take that more seriously than having a career. I don’t know a single millennial mom who is not burnt out and exhausted trying to work and parent.
Exactly
Some of the best advice I’ve heard is to think how many kids you’d like and count backwards. We wanted 4 kiddos and I’m so glad we started young and didn’t buy the cultural lie to “get all your ducks in a row.” There’s no such thing as having it all together. Being promoted to mommy is the best job promotion ever! It’s not always easy, but it is always good!!! ❤❤❤❤
This was literally me. It’s been a struggle physically and mentally. I’m praying for any woman struggling with this today. Go be the best mom you can be!!
Absolutely! Because the government will pay for your choices... that did not include men beyond sperm "donation".
I had my baby, totally intending on going back to work (teaching school).
I quit my job, and I loved teaching. It was hard, but I keep telling myself "YOU DON'T GET THIS TIME BACK". My principal was sad to see me go, but was very kind in telling me I was doing the right thing and if she could go back in time, she wished she could have done the same with her kids. She didn't have the option with her first daughter because she was a single mom.
I'll go back to work when my baby goes to school and we will be on the same schedule. We bought a fixer upper house and will have to tighten our belts, and I'll substitute teach one day a week just to pad our income a little and my mom will keep him those, but I'll be with my boy 80% of the time. I will never regret this choice. He's the best thing to ever happen to me and deserves to have his mom at home as much as possible. Yes, it sidetracked my career and will delay my retirement, but my baby will always take priority over any of that.
For you mama!!!!😊
I have a friend who was a school teacher until she had her first child and had to put him in school. When she saw how the teachers treated him and how zoned out he was when he got home, she decided to homeschool him. She stayed home and went on to have another child. Now that her boys are finishing high school, she went back to school and got a nursing degree. And she's back to work a few days a week. Work will always be there. Your kids, on the other hand, need you now!
Stop wanting it all. It's called greed.
Well said!
I think it's called "brainwashing," not greed.
The goal of Marxism is to destroy the family. The goal of the criminal fed. gov. is to keep all women paying taxes to support government debt and the fake dollar.
@@planetruther since 1966.
Or thereabouts..I remember how it used to be
I'll be 65 in December
Women have created this mess; it can only end with them
I have been really lucky to have a great deal of support in my being a stay at home mom from the beginning. I remember when I took my oldest son to his 6 week check up and crying to my husband because I realized this was the point so many women have to return to their jobs. Listening to Susanne has opened my eyes to how fortunate I have been to always be met with glowing approval and respect when those in my community find out that I stay home.
You are Very Lucky indeed. There is very little support for the family.
I really appreciate your video on this. The traditional lifestyle I had prior to my divorce was a dream come true. We lived on only my income and had the nuclear family package: 2800sqft house, 2 cars, lots of grass for the kids to play in the backyard, citrus trees, family pets, etc. My comment I wanted to share is that unfortunately men today choose not to get married due to the laws and biases against them when it comes to family court. There is a real fear (and risk) to a man’s lifestyle being ruined because of a bad divorce as I have witnessed. I have no regrets having three kids with my ex but now I have to live on even less because of child support after losing everything and now in debt because of attorney fees. Not trying to victimize myself, but I can understand why some men would choose not to get married after experiencing what I went through. This adds to the complexities to resolve identity crises I’d say both women and men are having.
Exactly! These are different times we are living in...
Marriage when it comes apart is a kick in the teeth for most men. No fault divorce just means the wife who usually wants the divorce gets half the resources even if they didn't create half and they almost always get custody because they want the child support, not because they think that is best for the kids. It is a financial transaction...and men lose
@@marklittle8805 Indeed there are women like that, and that is a whole different topic/discussion. I think the point of this video is aimed at women who are having second thoughts or beginning to scrutinize the career-focused strong independent woman and are longing for the traditional lifestyle to bear and raise children. My comment above was an attempt to tie together the current predicament women are facing and women who weaponize their children to financially secure themselves while men are persecuted under either condition/situation, which is why many men do not care to "contractually" oblige themselves to a marriage because of the destruction that so easily besets men if the woman decides to dissent.
I'm a female and I agree with what you're saying. Divorce can be devastating for both parties and it usually hits one person harder than the other.
As soon as I began to ear people say "partner" I rejected it. It's husband or wife . Don't devalue the differences and roles of each.
Yes, language is part of the indoctrination.
Plan when you are first married and both working to save, save, save. Then, as many have said, as live simply as possible. Do we need two cars? Do we need more than one TV? Do we really need cable? Does each child need his/her own room? Do we eat out? Simple objectives lower the stress and the budget. So many things are inexpensive for playtime and leisure time, like picnics, walk in the woods, a drive in the country, a library visit. Be creative! Part-time work may be available from home or when the children start school. What a blessing it is to prioritize a life centered around the home and family!
Exactly what we did. Could not have imagined returning to my mundane, meaningless job (that paid me well) while my precious gift from God, my son, was being cared for by anyone else. It's in my very dna to raise him. No bigger purpose.
I'm a stay at home mom of 2 and my husband makes less then 50k a year. It's called make it work. We are basically poor. We also live in NJ, which is very expensive.
Hang in there and seek Jesus Christ in prayer, the system used to be better to support SAHM but not anymore, women have to work.
US media, government and academia should be held both legally and financially responsible for the mess that they created.
Agreed
Governments write the laws. Will they hold themselves accountable? Will voters drive them out? Will the public stop listening to the media? Will the public stop listening to academics? Will they sue? Will the legal system care a jot? It's toast.
I just had my first baby. When we decided to start we thought I'd be able to go back to work and we could tag team the baby and avoid daycare. But now we're exploring the options of me not going back to work because I want to be with him all the time and its just to hard trying to juggle 2 schedules with a wild card.
Thank you for talking about this. Last year, I gave my life to the Lord and my entire world view changed. I can’t wait to work in the home, support my husband and raise our kids up in the way of the Lord.
I never liked the idea of allowing my ex to be a stay at home mom because a) she loves to go out a lot and spend money, and b) the thought of potentially having to face divorce court as the sole earner terrifies me.
On the other hand being the sole earner also gives you authority to decide when she should not waste the money. It's a sacrifice to have a family, not spending money on crap is evident.
@Leonhart_93 hahaha, I find it difficult to believe that being sole bread winner allows any man the authority to control spending in a modern feminist society. Maybe if you're lucky enough to find a good woman who is conscientious about this but that's the exception, not the rule, for modern women.
@@garynealjr But the dynamic should be clear. Women don't think like men do, if you are just kind with her without demanding respect, most women will just keep taking from you without giving back. The first step is to not allow her disrespect towards you.
@Leonhart_93 The legal system gives women too many incentives to screw over men. Change the laws and maybe more men will come back to the table. Until then, telling men to "man up" is useless advice.
@@garynealjr I am saying man up for your sake. Aka do not tolerate her disrespect since it will be worse and worse. And it's exactly because the legal system is how it is that you should not let her do what she wants. She will run you into the ground if left unchecked.
Suzanne should go on whatever podcast! Then you’ll be face to face with the modern woman and know how far away we are
I worked my butt off to pay off my student loans and raise my children. My husband is and was very supportive but it’s still hard. I realize that children need their mother around and someone has to be the heart of the home. It’s one of those jobs where your role is so important but it goes unnoticed and can be very humbling. Before setting off to work your plan out I recommend praying to God for help.
"It's one of those jobs where your role is so important but it goes unnoticed and can be very humbling."
It's a very insightful, realistic and very much needed description of what it is to be a mother.
God bless you.
I save over $150 a week just by making my lunch and coffee at home.
Men guarding their own wallets and passport bros is exploding. Well done ladies.
This is my problem with Mrs. Venker. She is trying but still has the feminist bent. Notice she says men still need to step up and do better? The whole time she is hitting the nail on the head but still can't keep the dig off the men. If all these women didn't have all these high paying boss babe jobs, guess who would? THE MEN!!!! Then they would have their high earning man that could pay the bills while they took care of the home. They get in their own way and it is still the man's fault. Makes me sick.
@@ispep8882 globalman tried talking to Susan years ago. She didn't listen. She's just grifting.
@@TheManWithNoName6 Chris Whalen, a CPA who advises a lot of single well-to-do men often addressed Suzanne in the comments about the corrupt family court and legal system. Not once did she respond. She too wants to have a backup plan in case she gets tired of the current hubby.
@@kaiserpuppydog7174 exactly.
@@kaiserpuppydog7174 yes. I know Chris. Globalman says he is a good guy.
My baby is 6 months old, and I had her one month shy of turning 37. I immediately changed my entire life when I was pregnant with her. My lovely husband completely supported me in being home. He kills it out there in the workforce for us. I'm so grateful for this. I honestly don't feel like my life before this was better. Since having her, I have bloomed like a late flower. I will be teaching my daughter completely different from the feminist bs that almost robbed me of motherhood myself.
Stop consuming media. Reduce TV and movie watching and you will find out that the assumptions are not internal but external.
I have ignored mass media for years. It has never made me want children, ever.
Our family made this decision 9 years ago. It's the best decision we ever made- me leaving the workplace.
You say "men and women are not interchangeable". RIGHT ON. They are ASYMMETRICALLY cooperative. When you say men's incentive to produce is damaged, you are correct. Women are psychologically neotenous, in our culture. Part of maturity is an EXPANSION OF THE SENSE OF SELF, to include at least the family, and perhaps the local community. Native American cultures did this. Many people in the West are psychologically neotenous. One major shock, to me- was being in a college dorm, at 17. The bad boys just about needed number machines, like in the supermarket, for all the ladies coming to see them, for an hour or two. I was jealous, until I saw the ladies coming to them- they were college students, yet they looked like they were in their 30's. Seriously.
I am twice divorced. Pain is a patient teacher, it keeps teaching long after any other teacher would have given up. I'm glad you are sharing what you share. Let us consider also- that thirty-something women have diminishing prospects, to find a husband, as their prospects, based on their SMV, shrink.
Right! My saying is
ADULTS Give
CHILDREN Consume
Age is not so big a determination on maturity. Marriage involves TWO GIVERS. 🎉
I love it! You preachin' my sermon now, girl!
I actually love this podcast.
33 year old male. Been through so many relationships with girls who have been sold this anti-woman ideology and I have traditional blood in my veins. It's been so difficult.
I could write a book about what I've gone through as a result of the cultural pervertion we are going through and how it has affected me and all of those sound me.
Your podcast is a light in the dark. I share your videos often. You, and a handful of other coaches inspire me to become one myself. I feel a calling to help save our generations to come. And clearly, you have that calling too.
You need someone to help blast this podcast across the social platforms. There's a lot more you could be doing to blow up, for sure!
Convert to Catholicism and get your butt to a parish that does the traditional Latin mass. There you will find the kind of woman you are looking for :)
@@hiddenhand6973 Amen to that. And I will get my butt to church.
However, I found a nice girl from Poland. She moved to Canada recently, and has been a dream come true! And she ticks all the boxes.
They're more traditional valued over there. She's unlike any of the women here in the west I've encountered. And all of them have been outside of church/godless lol yes. There is something to be said about that.
Women in their 30s are going to have to fight on multiple levels to be able to accomplish being a SAHM. Not only is motherhood not valued in this culture (certainly not to the level that abortion is), but the entire relationship landscape between men and women has become thoroughly poisoned. Hearing about all these "strong independent women who don't need no man" has put men in the situation where they know that a lot of them have to structure their lives to be fine without a woman in them. The push to get and keep women in the workforce has depressed wages, and put a lot of men in the situation where they can probably support themselves on what they can make, but not two or more other people.
Young men need to be taught before they marry that men have to bear the burden of performance. They are judged by society and women in particular by how much they make. In a marriage if the woman starts to make more-much more then many times they will grow resentful because he isn't taking care of her and then the odds of divorce soar. That has been shown in different research projects.
So, what happens when Atlas Shrugs?
@@b.a.johnson5820 Society has taught men that they are worthless and that masculinity is toxic. Through contraception, welfare, abortion, affirmative action, no fault divorce, divorce laws, social media, and me too it is a woman’s world. Men are reacting to the incentives they were given and the actions of women. Women control sex and men control relationships. Women give sex to a small group of desirable men. They have options and don’t need to commit. The rest of men are relationship and sex starved. They have no option to commit. Some men got depressed and checked out. Some men never grew up, because they didn’t have to. Other men, the smart ones, accepted the lack of women in their life and worked on themselves. These men became marriageable in their 30s, but are discouraged from marrying due to divorce laws and the difficulty of finding a suitable woman. You can’t put the genie back in the box. Women got what they asked for but not what they want or is good for them, men, children, and society. I don’t think it was an accident. By destroying the two parent nuclear family, it creates people dependent on government. Feminism inadvertently liberated men. The funny thing is that women’s super power is child bearing. Without that, they are no more useful to society than men.
@@alanballew9218 I think that was the plan all along. I think it was the Cloward and Pivens strategy ... to overwhelm the welfare state to usher in totalitarian Marxism.
@@b.a.johnson5820The solution then is to remove women from most workplaces, and make the competition between the remaining men based on merit, and not on which minority out-group they're a part of. Two MASSIVE structural problems BTW that have nothing to do with what parents teach their sons.
I think what should also be mentioned is .. that second income is always eaten up in taxes and expenses, mostly clothing, travel to work, etc! We figured out early on that me being home with our children was the best. I pray that many more will figure this out! Thank-you for the video!
Yeah, you have to have a pretty exceptional job for that not to happen. I feel like if your income is under 50k USD per year than you're probably working for free if you put kids in daycare.
@@rathelmmc3194 not just free, in my case when my husband and I did the math, we found out that HE was paying more taxes for ME to work and pay daycare!! It was absurd!
I quit my job right then and there.
@@rathelmmc3194stop feeling like and start doing math
This is only true if you have a low income. I have a six figure income, unlimited PTO, a flexible schedule, and I work remotely 100% of the time, so I have no commute or clothing costs and can do chores and prepare meals unencumbered during breaks in my working hours. Even after the expenses associated with working my family would lose hundreds of thousands in wages, compound interest, future pay increases, SSI benefits, and access to better healthcare just in 7 years. If I never returned to work that figure would be close to $4-5M. I cannot justify that financial cost when my daughter still spends more of her waking hours with me than anyone else due to the flexibility of my work. Also, I am a person who went to daycare from 6 weeks and have still had remarkable life outcomes relationally, educationally, vocationally, spiritually (my mom preached the gospel of Jesus to me) and economically. The marginal returns to utility of staying at home are just not enough to justify the opportunity cost of those lost wages or the additional risk borne by a family with one income earner (death, job loss, disability/illness, burnout from overworked breadwinner, breadwinner absent from children, divorce, etc.)
@@melinated2497 "I gave my kids' lived away for a few dollars!"... my Aunt said that....
Wow - I really needed to hear this today ♥ as a stay at home mom with 2 littles we are in this exact situation - small money and living very frugally. It's hard not to compare so it's so helpful to hear from someone who has walked the journey ♥ thank you for what you do - it's helping us who are in the trenches
As a man who got rejected, now a pensioner, I just laugh.
Bravo!👍👍
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD - Home school your kids people! Don’t go back to work just because you can put your kids in school. Become a teacher and raise your kids start to finish. It will pay off when they are adults and know how to think rationally and not what the political agenda wants them to think.
That’s how we got to this place. Don’t let them be victims of your entitled views.
Limit screen time their media. Raise them in a garden with animals chores and responsibilities. They’ll turn out ahead of the rest for sure
Its quit possible the schools have gone down because parents DIDNT stay in the system and try to change it.
@@deirdremorris9234government schools were created with the idea in mind of making factory workers and not free thinkers. School hammers any kind of creativity out of most students before they graduate. I believe it was called the Austrian school method back in the early 1910s?
Maybe government schools can be reformed, but it will take LOTS of heavy parental involvement to undo the damage. Unfortunately, many parents see government schools as their free daycare so that mom can go work. 😢
@@caroblue7988 Yup. Agree
@@deirdremorris9234 change the system in which complete strangees raise and educate your children?
Do you know how the citric cycle works? Can you give the derivative of mathematical functions? Can you name the capital of Ethopia? Can you calculate how far a ball, thrown with a force of 15 N will fly? What‘s the difference between impressionism and expressionism?
That‘s a small choice of things I remember being taught at school. I do not claim to able to answer all those. But anybody who thinks they‘re able to home-school should.
I’m a SAHM mom and I’ve never felt valued in society. My mom was a SAHM so I knew this was how it would feel, but I didn’t know how deeply it would affect me. I feel like my peers look at me like I’m lazy or old fashioned, or maybe they are jealous deep down. But I never feel like I fit in with working moms. I also homeschool our children which adds to the stigma. I feel like I should get a part-time job so that people value me.
Sounds like you have a full-time job raising your kids. That's very valuable, respectful work. Anybody that doesn't understand this is not worth your time.
Don’t listen to the hype , just keep doing what your heart knows is right . If you need the income , I’m sure you would have to work but if u have figured it out - listen to yourself !
Your children and husband value you, and that is worth more than any praise from outsiders. Your thanks will come later,when your children are old enough to appreciate what you re doing for them.
same situation as you! I’m doing from home business while homeschooling & keeping home due to our finances while husband is making a career switch. I have worked since I was 18, but I’m so happy to be at home with them. I wasn’t attached to the workplace & wanted to be a homemaker even at my peak while single. But the way society looks at you is so twisted. 😢 Money is more valuable than eternal souls & the future of society (your children) ??? Again, twisted!
That’s unfortunate that you feel that way. Yes, I recommend looking into part time if you genuinely want to, NOT bc you’re trying to prove something to others.
The only time I think a SAHM is lazy is when she has her kids watch tv 4+ hours a day. My husband has a friend who is a stay at home dad and both of his girls (age 3 and 4) are obese and watch tv all day.
Thank you so much for this video. I’ve felt so much anxiety, sadness and hopelessness ever since I had my first child 10 years ago. Just hearing you articulate nearly every grief I’ve been holding on to for the past decade has brought me some relief. I’ve felt like it was my fault because I “chose” wrong (didn’t marry a man who made more money, didn’t wait longer to have kids, didn’t go back to school for a masters degree and on and on and on.. I feel like I can let go of blaming myself because this really is a problem of the modern society we live in.. it’s a collective problem. You’ve given me a lot to think about in terms of finding a path that will allow me to give in to the desire and calling I feel on my heart and in every part of my soul to be the mom/wife my family needs. ❤
Great insight so thankful for a mother who sacrificed and stayed home with me and I did the same with my kids and I see my daughter doing the same thing with her kids. I pray that God uses you to speak truth to many mothers. We have a one shot chance at raising our small children when it’s gone, you can never redo it. I don’t shop at target anymore because they are anti-family. God bless you.
The first sentence!!! Couldn’t agree more. Part time mother of three, has made some sacrifices professionally and financially, and despite pressures from (female) coworkers, and couldn’t be more grateful for this information to validate what I’ve known in my heart.
Wow. This was so succinct and well said. Almost brought tears to my eyes.
Feminism is more about corporate/political control of the citizenry, means to drive the economy, voting influence, and a larger employment income to tax from; and lastly an easier way to have a greater control of your children by way of the state.
Exactly. Few can see this. Most of the comments relate personal anecdotes, while the causes behind the larger societal process go unexamined.
Feminism is about having a choice and not being stuck doing just what society wants of you.
This is one of the best and most real videos I’ve seen on RUclips. I hope this video goes viral. Great job ma’am 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Thank you for continuing to do this Suzanne! From the first interview I've ever seen you and you've been so consistent and forthright. I try to spread this message to as many people as will listen.
@@ns73jynr73 a lot of people in retirement homes have children who put them there. These common sections often gloss over the realities of life
This is a fantastic video. You hit the nail on the head. And communicate the logic in a very simple and soothing manner. When people push you to question long held beliefs that are core to your perceived identity, it can go terribly wrong very quickly if a woman isn't ready to acknowledge the circumstances and do the hard things necessary to course correct. You're a great messenger for this very important topic and I hope that you have success reaching many women with your message, and enabling them with the knowledge and tools they need to truly serve themselves.
Life is full of tradeoffs. Unfortunately people can't have it all. Going for a career can come at the expense of families, and vise-versa. You're right, WE ALL NEED TO LEARN TO LIVE WITH LESS.
I’ve only read the title and I’m in full agreement. I’m a 35 year old single mom (husband left) and have no clue what the hell is going on in my life.
Edit: Oh, the first sentence that comes out of her mouth is my reality. I was a stay at home mom for 4 years. Husband had multiple affairs (I had no clue) and left me high and dry, without financial stability. Ladies- even if you are at home, bring in some money for yourself and put it away!!!
How can he legally leave you nothing? Did he not have any assets?
You should have chosen better than trying to tie down Chad/Tyrone/Habib.🤣🤣🤣
@@MissLovely88I let him have everything except the house. He was also abusive. I knew if I let him have the money he would leave us alone and let me go
@@salguodrolyat2594 I didn’t know that only Tyrone’s/ chads/babies cheat. Super interesting.
@@monicamiller9345 live and learn. Chad/ Tyrone/ Habib are the most likely to cheat because they are the most attractive to most females. Most ordinary men who you don't notice at all in every day life CAN'T cheat because they don't have the options to cheat in the first place.
Hi Suzanne, thank you for the amazing content! I can relate so hard to some of the other commenters in that I had a big identity crisis when I became a mom and found myself burned out from working a full time job. My daughter was 6 months old and my husband and I decided that I'd take a part time job so that I could spend more time with our daughter. I was 31 years old at the time and had been working since I was 16. Worked all throughout college and at 25 was fully financially independent living on my own and so proud of myself. Well that pride carried through to be my identity. I was so wrapped up in the idea that I could make it on my own and that was still my mentality as I became a wife. I've been slowly getting more comfortable with relying on my husband as the provider and not feeling ashamed that I'm not contributing financially to our family. When I made the transition from full time to part time work I felt like I constantly had to justify to myself why I made the switch. I grew up the child of a single parent and the only life I'd ever known was that of a full time working mom. Naturally I thought working full time to provide for my family was just what you do as a parent.
Thankfully my mind has been changed in many ways to see my job as a mom as the most cherished and important job I can have. I'm seeing now that children are only little for the short window of time and if I prioritize work over being there for my kids I'll regret that later on. I'm happy to report that I'll be switching to full time stay at home mom in the near future! Thanks again for your encouragement 😊
Worked with families on finances for years. Most are spending ~3x more on eating out than you think.
Very good! I loved this. It's good to hear good, practical advise once in a while. Thanks!
This is such an important conversation. Thank you for bringing light to something people aren't noticing. You're doing God's work out here!
Please, preach Suzanne. Preach !
I am an angel investor. My dad (who just retired) was an econ professor for over 50 years. I have grown up with, and have been privy to an ungodly amount of people who look at market trends not to make a quick buck, but rather recognise and educate any ody willing to listen about what changes in the markets mean, and how to make educated decisions on the future.
And i say this with knowing and learning for about a decade now about the problems women have caused, you are the only other person i know that is talking about this from a strictly educational perspective. Hats off to you, and thank you.
Thank you for speaking up!! The idea that it's weak to submit to a husband whom loves and cares about you, but strong to submit to some asshole corporate boss who doesn't care about you, is asinine.
As o first time mom, I can attest to all the criticism around the choice to stay home with kids. Its almost seen as being lazy or the easy way out. Embarrassingly, I used to think this way prior to having kids and would almost negatively judge women who decided to stop working and stay home with their kids as this was the messaging I had always been given as a millennial female…boy was I wrong! Now that I’m a mom, I can’t imagine wanting anything else more then to stay home with my infant son. My career has just completely taken a backseat amongst my desires, priorities, etc.
An no wonder that women dealing with auto immune disorders is at an all time high. Stress and poor self care are at the heart of these disorders.
@kc6810 absolutely! Standard American diet is trash and tainted with chemicals and things that don't belong in food.
I was a sahm ....I worked at a daycare after my kids were out of HS, and both my son and daughter worked at different daycares ...we NEVER had the horror stories of sharing meeting .... BUT both daughter, sahm ....and son who when he marries will have a sahm ...Was this because of what they witnessed in the daycare setting ? Or because I was a sahm? I could write a book the stories were just sad...Never , ever think you know what your wonderful daycare is like behind the scenes..choose wisely
I worked at a home day care so I could be with my son. We were both tired and sickly every other week. Its not normal for 2 people to care for 15 kids.
@@deirdremorris9234 it's absurd.. I agree
A lot of wisdom in this video. Thank you for saying things many are thinking, but woun’t admit.
Seeing how exhausted many are, I am grateful for not having the same responsibilities.
What will convince men to earn more AND get married when doing so has become an unconscionable contract? I don’t ask this as a gotcha. 70% or more of divorces are initiated by women, and the man is frequently made an indentured servant who loses access to his children.
Even if more women embrace motherhood, why should a man assume such overwhelming risk?
Its a valuable question. Its very difficult to reach young people to really think and learn realities.
BINGO.
Keep playing Russian roulette, men, it is a societal good. Also, Jesus!
Gentlemen, just walk away, watch everything collapse, have a hearty laugh - and keep on walking away.
Thank you for talking about this, because many platforms do not address these issues. I have had my first kid two years ago and everything you are saying is extremely on point. I did not expect my whole mind to shift once having a baby.
A whole generation fallowed few noisy feminists in to a demise.
This whole situation is ironic and I as a man, find it very hard not to say I told you so.
It's just hilarious bro
It is sad, these are our sisters, aunts, friends etc. The nuclear family was great for everyone and feminism f'd it all up.
@@brent4073wrong feminism was just a movement, women CHOSE to follow it, they never had a gun to there heads
Keep speaking the truth to women!! We need your voice in our current mixed up culture!
You are so right we have been lied to, to a certain degree. I have worked outside of the home but not for long my husband and I both realized early that it was better that I stay at home with our kids. We have three sons who are adults now. But I have to say there have been times where I wanted to go back to work because I do have a degree but I think I made the right choice. He sees me as his equal and we each have certain gifts and it does work.
If it’s any help I would be one of the three sons in that scenario. My mom stayed at home with my two brothers and I didn’t realize how big of a bonus it was to have my mom home when I came home from school. I was never a latch-key kid, never had to do any after school programs just because no one was home, mom could pick us up and was always happy to see us come home. It really meant a lot looking back and I’m so thankful she was always home and there for us. I think you’ve done terrific by your kids
This is both a powerful and timely message for finding peace as we embrace our unique seasons of life.
I'm a single father raising my child alone since she was a baby. I fought to get remote work so I could be home with her 24/7. I streamlined my finances to be able to live on far less. I moved from the city to a rural location where life is a lot cheaper. It is doable if you are willing to give up luxuries. It has been very much worthwhile.
Well said
@@kc6810 I agree for an infant. No way to work regularly. I guess that's why civilized nations have maternity leave. However, I did it as a single father of a toddler, alone with no help. I wasn't easy, I didn't work the dream job I wanted, and yes, I was sleep deprived. More than one child of that age? Yeah, I don't see how that can be done.
Just the facts: Modern marriage law makes marriage an impossible choice. Colorado law, for example, was drastically updated in 2013, removing any remaining judicial discretion if one party chooses the unilateral divorce option. The law mandates absolute equality in money brought into the home by each person. If one brings in more, he will be penalized, even more so if the marriage produced children. What other reason can be cited for the more than 80% of divorces being initiated by women?
Men have said this exact message for decades, but it's sexist when men say it. :)
That's because as men we are treated as a stupid, violent, sexist, knuckle-dragging underclass.
Women created this problem, now let's see them get themselves out of it - without the help of men.
Thank you for your honesty, sensibilities, and for boldly speaking out. Women have been played, and it's time for it to stop.
This is the most spot-on analysis I've heard all week. Do the natural thing and don't look back. It's so much better.
I’m 28yrs old and I’m a SAHM and I’m married to my high school sweetheart. You would not believe the amount of judgement I receive when people hear I stay home to raise our son. You can’t win either way. Men and women constantly judge when they hear I’m not ‘working’....even though I actually am! I’m a stay at home mom - but I also nanny another child in my home alongside my son, and on the weekends I teach yoga at fitness studios. So I’m literally doing both but I’m literally seen as an unintelligent uneducated woman whose trying to take the easy way out. It’s hard mentally honestly. But I guess these days it’s hard either way!! I’m confident in our lifestyle because raising the next generation is the most important job in the world in my uneducated opinion....and it starts when they are babies and toddlers. I’m glad this conversation is happening and people are waking up. Maybe soon more women will find ways to step outside of the rat race and we won’t be so looked down upon for doing what’s natural to us!!! Those who change diapers are changing the world 😅🌎💗
Yes, you can win. You win by raising children to functioning adults and keeping your family intact. There is no greater reward in life.
There was this important phrase that years past everybody used to know:
The hand that rocks the cradle, rules the world.
I see your updated version with changing diapers and yes! Still works! Moms can change the world for better or worse depending on how they raise their kids. We are truly powerful and don't even know it.
I think you should be proud of yourself and be proud of your husband. Honor each other. All the angry jerks that look down on you can kick rocks.
@@kc6810 you don't have to actively participate in the world to add to it.
No one is saying that a Mom cannot re-enter the rat race after kids, just that she shouldn't be denigrated for choosing her children over a job.