Identifying Psychopathic Mothers- Psychotherapy Crash Course
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- Опубликовано: 16 июл 2024
- Early upload for you!
Let's finish our evaluation of personality this week by talking about psychopaths.
You may feel you understand and can spot them a mile away, but you are likely missing a major component to who they are. And that...is a combination of genes and environment.
When I worked in a juvenile delinquency center and school a few years ago, I was exposed to some of the most "criminal" thinking, sociopathic, oppositional, and callous kids I had ever seen. While I liked many of them and they seemed to like me, they were very influenced by their home environment and the early childhood and developmental road they took. For many of these adjudicated delinquent youths, deception, calculation, violation of other's rights, and manipulation were a way of life for them. They had little to no conceptualization of how their actions impact other people. All they knew was that they had to survive and in order to survive someone has to get hurt.
Sadly, because this way of thinking and behaving was not being appropriately treated, some of the youths went on to graduate high school and then interact in the real world. God only knows how they are doing and if they are deceiving and calculating as we speak.
Adults who become sociopaths became that way because of early childhood experiences including genes and biology.
In this video, I discuss the sad reality that some parents, particularly mothers, meet the clinical criteria for psychopathy. Some are violent, while others are highly cunning and potentially dangerous.
I welcome your comments and questions!
2:15 Mommie Dearest mentioned in the video: • Best 6 1/2 minutes of ...
Helpful resources:
1. Jeffrey Dahmer: • Video
2. Dr. Simon on predatory aggression:
• Understanding Predator...
3. The Power Of Others: m.barnesandnoble.com/p/the-po...
4. Bonded to the abuser: m.barnesandnoble.com/p/bonded...
5. Ted Bundy • Video
-----Contact me------
I'm Támara, a licensed and nationally certified mental health therapist, with over 11 years experience. I specialize in helping children, teens, and families with mental illness. I also treat psychological trauma in children, teens, and adults.
If you'd like to contact me, you may email me at contact@anchoredinknowledge.com.
Mail me stuff!
PO Box 113
Bridgeville, PA 15017
Social media:
Twitter - @therapisttee
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Blog - blogs.psychcentral.com/caregivers
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*New videos Mondays & Fridays with a periodic bonus video on Wednesdays!
WOW YOU'RE AMAZING!!!!! SO smart and eloquent- I'm very impressed!!!!!!! The Most High God Bless You in Jesus's Almighty Name!!!!!!!!
Amen. 💖🙏😊 I receive it!
Thanks so much!
p.s. I've been studying all this for years because I married into it. Knowledge is power but I'm still drowning in ways because I have young children and my husband won't wake up. Please pray for my children they are so innocent and all the toxicity is hurting them so much.
I certainly will. Only God can fix it.
FACTS!
My Mother is a psychopath. I didn't find out until this year and I am 43 next month. My Mother terrifies me and has done horrible things to me throughout my life. I am in trauma informed therapy now and unraveling this is painful. Thank you for making these videos. I appreciate it.
Me too.. I feel so stupid.. I wrote a bit of what I’m going through currently on the comments, I’d love to talk to someone about it if you want
Sending kindness to both of you. I know one of my parents was and it’s a painful experience. I also appreciate this video and the others as well. We must show self compassion for falling for the lie… It’s still difficult to trust people…
38 and in same boat. I was locked in bedroom and urinating in toy boxes as small child. Hit beat punished knocked down isolated untill I believed it was my own fault. I ran away from her at 14 with a girlfriend (of bad calibre) and she and her "boyfriend" targeted and had sex with her when she turned 16 as payback to me for leaving her. I could keep going. I buried and refused to believe these things untill last year. It's been really tough I didn't want to be here last year but iv met an amazing woman who is by my side and listening and support ING me. Love to you and best wishes 💕
Sarah, stay far and away from her!!!
This is why fathers are needed. But mainly most men get falsely accused by women. Especially when the law and gov favors them than women.
My psychopath mother studied psychology, has 2 degrees and worked at police my psychopath grandmother has been lawyer for many years. They have tortured me as a child. My whole family is sick, I have healed a lot finally stepping into completely better life than I have ever experienced. My advice escape as fast as you can no matter if anyone believes you or not. Trust yourself.
That's so sad. So many people are in the field of psychology like this. This is frightening because they are intelligent in terms of "book knowledge" and yet, very emotionally and psychologically dangerous to people as well. I'm so sorry you have had to experience a parent like this.
Tamara- they are out there- highly qualified colleagues-
I’d like to shout out everyone here for making it through this type of trauma and pain. Psychopathic moms are built different.
Thank you so much for this. My mother had ASPD. I was diagnosed with PTSD after leaving her home. She shunned me and turned nearly my entire family against me when I left the house because I was no longer useful to her.
You're welcome Sara. This is tough. Sounds like she needed a lot of help. Calculating and not very empathic.
I'm living this right now. Nightmare.
I wonder how often they misdiagnose them as ASPD when in fact they're (malignant) narcissistic or even psychopathic. For years I tried to tell myself my "mother" (that she NEVER was) lacked any sense of empathy and was so cruel bc of ASPD but just like many ppl told me when I was a child already her personality disorder was actually way worse than that (malignant narcissistic to psychopathic). The things she did (child abuse on so many levels and more) couldn't be described in 100 books. I actually wrote them in my diaries as a child but she burned all of them. My father was equally sick even though in a slightly different way. It took me decades to fully realize the abuse they inflicted on me. It's unforgivable and a reason I moved as far away from them as possible but still incredible pain catches up in certain moments and I'll never forgive them. But back to the topic, do you think they may have misdiagnosed her?
Been there! My mother is still putting me in a negative light to turn family members against me at age 81!! This is all started before I left home since she perceived she was losing control after her abusing and manipulating me for my entire upbringing. She's a truly evil person.
Same exact thing happened to me after my dad died in ‘21. Not even a year later she has a new boyfriend. 6 kids and 25 years meant nothing. My siblings now see her for who she is. He died from a heart attack from supporting us bc of her intense manipulation. It took me a while to come out of the confusion.
This described my so-called "mother" perfectly. I'm ashamed to have been born of such a truly evil person.
I'm sorry Will.😔 I do believe in what goes around comes around. What you sow, you reap.
Nothing to feel ashame. Ain't your fault
Yeah I know how you feel. Same here. My mother is pure evil a down most of my other relatives are sociopaths themselves maybe one of two of them are enablers but they're just as bad.
God bless you and all the rest of us
High Five.
Mine too.
Omg thank you! My mum has been diagnosed as a psychopath. I am 50 and struggled with mental health. Three months ago I was diagnosed with bpd and adhd from childhood physical and emotional abuse and abandonment on multiple occasions. My life now makes sense. The first person to show me love was my first teacher. She said I had done good work, great effort or I know you can do this. She saved my life and now I am a teacher being supportive of children in similar situations
That's wonderful!! What a way to give back the love received. Very glad you have clarity. It's delivering.
Mmmmmm. That's a blessing.
What a beautiful outcome for you and the young lives you touch
I say this as both a teacher and the u fortunate spouse of a psychopath attempting to navigate my own child through this abyss that he doesn’t know he’s in
This video has helped me to not feel so alone with the suffering I’ve faced since I was a child from my mother. There isn’t one type of abuse she has subjected me to and she’s been allowed to do it with her superficial charm and manipulation. She created a false story behind my back to all of my supportive family members so they would not help or believe me. I found out that she regularly sends pictures with marks that she has made with makeup to do this. And when she gets really violent, I cannot even call the police as she’s got them around her finger too. Psychopaths do this by building a great social capital and making themselves look like innocent law-abiding professionals. I am in the process of getting away from her but in a way I am thankful for this experience as it’s given me so much knowledge on how to prevent myself from being manipulated by other psychopaths and narcissists.
I'm really sorry Tia. This is a major challenge for many daughters who have poor relationships with their mothers. The feelings of loneliness and emptiness can sometimes be too much to handle, leading to depression, anxiety, and possibly even suicide.
But it appears that you are able to dissect your situation and see that your situation is like so many others. I'm glad this video drove this point home.
@@TherapistTamaraHill Thank you, Tamara Hill, for the relief I find here in your clear description. I fit the bill as a child raised by exactly this description and I still feel suicidal when they scapegoat me but, no more. I am going through a process of looking after myself because I now have an extremely suitable coach who is working with me through this. I am under the health services and on medication and under a psychiatrist but I am still alive! I have called the police out over the violence but I never hear anything back. No report from either the police or from my parents. I have just worked out I have been the family scape goat since birth most likely. My m. said she will sue me for lible if I say that I have had a bad childhood and been abused all my life. My m. cou;d charm anyone. All professionals would fall for it.
The main thing I would do if I had power or authority is to educate young people in this subject. I suppose I could do this anyway as few people especially psychologists have experienced the situation.
This happens to guys too. My mother is like this to the extreme.
She along with all of my relatives have made their sacrificial lamb and completely destroyed my life and future.
God bless anyone with family like this.
It sounds like my story. Except that I can't get away from her. Everywhere I go, she goes and destroys everything I've built. I've moved all over the world; Africa, Europe, Asia, South America and guess what? Same story. So, I don't even know what to do. I've even attempted suicide before.
@@hammyshayaddy8330 I understand what it’s like. Please do not let her win by committing suicide. If she’s anything like my mother this is exactly what she wants. Stand proud of getting through this and coming out stronger on the other end.
Trying to move on from trauma of abuse of psychopath mother who has tried to isolate and destroy me since birth. I'm 38 and only just admitted the abuse last year as I didn't believe the mother I always loved didn't love me back. Thanks for the information it helps alot
You're welcome! And thank you.
I'm so sorry to hear this. Even as a therapist it is always difficult to hear of stories like this. Perhaps there was what we call traumatic bonding at play here too.
@@TherapistTamaraHill I am 36 and I just learnt that my mother is a psychopath and she cannot change and can only become worse. If you go through all the comments, most of the victims are above 35 years old when they have finally learnt about that their mothers are pschyopaths and that too with the help of the internet. Imagine if there was no internet?
Do I know one? Yes, my mother. A psychologist told me years back she was “a very dangerous woman”. It took years before I was able to fully comprehend what exactly she was trying to tell me!
Run from these people if you can. In this day and age, with technology, these people are voracious. My parent, mother, is a psychopath. She stalked me for 5 years, used all kinds of means to destroy my life, and then, after 5 years, my step son was brutally killed. It's been a nightmare , and I have been trying to contact authorities for years. No success. I pray, that my step son's death, is brought to justice. It wouldn't surprise me if she is involved. So serious. This is a progressive illness, where they get very energized by the escalation of their evil acts. We need more research. Thank you!
Authorities are narcisstic sociopaths too. We have to be on youtube while we still have it and pray unceasingly to The Most High God and I am praying for you all in Jesus's Almighty Name!!!!!!
My mother also tried to kill me once. My father acts as if it didn't happened or as if she was just messing around. I simply don't get it.
Yeah. I wonder that about my ex stepdaughter. She passed away in 2020. Only GOD knows what really happened.
Majority of men get falsely accused by women. The law and gov favors women more than men. This is why I heavily dislike my mother. Women are killing fatherhood!
@@Greenteajohn your father is afraid of your mom.
I believe my mother was a psychopath and I was diagnosed with CPTSD (ACAP) at 18 but was in denial until around 28 after finding myself in a relationship with her Jr Mint version. She had no respect for boundaries at all and continued to find way to harass me until the day she died. People who only knew her superficially continue to offer condolences which just makes me angry because I am not sorry she's gone and it feels like she still found a way to use others to abuse me even after her death. It also amazes me how many people fell for her act so easily, even if I did warn them what she was really like. Most people seem content to justify, minimize, and enable women like this in order to keep their own idealized version of women and mothers in tact. The truth is everyone has known at least 1 woman like this in their lifetime (imo) and it's a lot more common than people are willing to admit. For some reason they see a controlling perfectionist mother and equate that with her being caring, meanwhile the child is being abused and neglected and made into the "enemy" for failing to meet those impossible standards and wanting stability and control over themselves. To my mother we were just objects, not people.
You were never diagnosed with CPTSD. CPTSD isn’t a diagnosis in the DSM. It’s an unrecognized theoretical mental illness.
I was married to one. Everything was a lie in the end. I ended up needing extensive counseling to get back on normal life again. Never underestimate these types.
I'm sorry to hear that. Thank you for sharing that. I agree. Never "underestimate these types."
you missed a couple of important, if not the most important traits of a psychopath mother 1. Extreme violence 2. pleasure in seeing others in pain 3. complete lack of empathy 4. inability to feel
Yes- my mother ticked all
boxes and lived yo be 95.
My grandmother's second husband just died unexpectedly. They did an autopsy because his family thought it was odd her husband died the same way. She basically admitted to it to my mother yesterday and she is terrified. I'm trying to help my mom wrap her head around the fact who she thought was her mom was a mask. These videos are helping us better understand what might be going on with her and in the family thank u
My psychologist told me today that my mother's behavior is aligned with psychopathy. This is the first video I have watched about psychopathic mothers and everything - the language, the signs, all of it is spot on.
Thank you Kelly and I am sorry to hear this. Never easy when this is your mom.
Good that Kelly has a good psychologist- the wording behaviours that align with… are very careful, affirming and she is not diagnosing someone in their absence. All I can tell you is that there are a lot of coasting therapists
My mother was evil, she told me that she hated me and would hate me 'til the day she died, I was 8 years old. she destroyed my relationships with my children, she used to call my bosses and get me fired, she also convinced landlords to evict me.I was a single mother with 2 babies, she would not let anyone help me. She told the man that beat my children and I that he was too good for me and thanked hem for beating us. She tried to pimp me out. I have no relationship with anyone I'm related to. I had to go no contact. there are no qualified therapists any where in Oregon. I have no good memories and have no one to talk to. It took me 61 years to realize that I was not a welcome member of the family. I have always been referred to as "She" and "Her", I don't exist. I don't know what to do.
Hi Crystal, I'm sorry you had to experience this. These kind of mothers are evil and they truly shouldn't have children. What stuck out to me in your comment is that you stated "I have no relationship with anyone I'm related to." Don't feel bad about that! Sometimes, as you know, that's the only way to get peace and sometimes develop a stronger identity. Healing can happen a lot easier this way sometimes.
Crystal you are your mother's scapegoat. Your life story is just like mine. I'm gone no contact with the entire family and I'm never going back. It's a shame it took me until I reached my 50s to fully realise it. We can finally be ourselves, and not what our psychopathic mothers said we were
Mine too.... She hates me.
Must be something good and decent about you so- she can’t bear it- like garlic to vampires. Too much- they are rotten- their soul is rotted. I believe that people are not born evil- what makes a person evil is that they are the one who enjoys doing evil things- it fills them up- the way normal people might feel by doing something kind and decent. What a relief here that Tamara- a therapist of extremely high training and skills names it- that’s integrity. No asking to understand them- no asking to forgive them - no holding forgiveness over us- that we are complicit in our suffering by “not being ready to forgive “. -
The thing that scares me more is how charming the can be!! They can do horrible things and get away with it because they can be incredible persuasive!! They have a way to make people think that they are the the kindes thing in the world!!! 👀
Exactly!!!!!!! Yes!
This is why fathers are needed to stop psychopathic women
@@claudia434 maybe she treats others differently to hurt you and make feel that it is you fault that she doesn't behave nice!! I know this sounds very harsh but this peopke can be very manipulative and twisted!! The in our society victom blaming is rampant!! Don't fall for it! Go no contact if you can!! I know it is your mother but don't allow her to ruin your life!! I hope this messages can help you!! 🤗🌻
@@claudia434 There are therapist who are good but stay away from those that Don t understand narcissistic abuse!! On the internet are very good Videos and therapist that understand this kind of abuse!! Learn educare yourself focus on you not on your mother!! I know it's difficult because we have been brainwashed since childhood!! You Wil find the information you need if you are willing to learn!! Pray also and trust in the Lord but you have also to put effort if you want to get out!! Let the Holy Spirit guide!! You deserve to heal and live a healthy life!! I don't know if you are a believer but I m convinced that our efforts alone cannot take us out of this!! What h on RUclips Pink girl teaches The Royal We and From Narc to Light!! This three are very good!! And never give up!!! 🤗🌻
@@claudia434 I know what you mean!! Not every therapist wants to look the real hurting of patients because the they have to put other questions like what is happening in our world that this things happening!! You seem to me an intelligent and sensitive person and you will find the help you need!! You are aware whar your problems are!! It seems that your body has somatized the abuse and wants to get rid of it!! My advise (I have been through the same)! Start to listen to the podcast I wrote you about they also talk about the effects abuse has on the body!! And don't stop looking for a therapist even if it takes time! Yes and keep on doing things you enjoy and are good for you!! I wish I could do more but you are smart and I'm sure you will find what you need to heal!! 😎👍
I recently cut off the relationship with my psychopathic mother and enabling father. I dealt with her for years and felt so unsafe but just pushed through, once I had kids of my own there was no way I was going to let her abuse then and that's when I cut them off. Since I separated myself they have been turning family against me and spreading lies using my father, but she has lived such a shrouded life with the help of my father no one would ever believe she could be so evil. Everyone around her is so deceived and manipulated.
Good for you! The finest Legacy we can leave our children is to ensure the “Family Tradition” stops right here, right now with us, the parents who lived through their abuse. Best wishes!
I understand this and I believe you.
This is my story exactly
Frontier Family 👏👏💪🏿 keeping your children safe, respecting them, protecting your real family being a proper parent.
I’m 36 and just found out that my mom is a psychopath. I feel so stupid, but the only thing she was diagnosed with was boarderline p.d. .. she refuses to see a dr. And claims that she was never evaluated, but sometime during her trial someone saw her to make that diagnosis. She lies about everything and had me convinced I was crazy for a big part of my childhood. I moved away when I was 15 to live alone in Mexico, she was able to adopt 4 children (I’m the only biological), and she got 4 felonies for child abuse because she would lock them in cat cages and countless other horrible things. She is so good at manipulating, the judge only gave her one year, and she even had me supporting her until I saw it was all true. During the trial, i was so stressed and depressed that I started drinking to medicate, this turned into full blown alcoholism, which she used to discredit me and lie to my father to get hundreds of thousands of dollars saying it was for rehabs and what not, (one time for like 8 months I was in a gnarly locked down Mexican enexo that cost 50 bucks a month that they didn’t even charge cause I was music director there). Somehow, i had a miracle and I stopped drinking,now that my brain is clear, she tricked me and stole my dog while I was in surgery for my hernia, used the one vulnerable time to steal my dog and try to set me up to get arrested for trespassing again because he was howling for me in the back. Yes, I’m serious, she has done these evil things my whole life, I’ve realized everytime I thought I saw love, It was a facade, I’ve done so much and protected her my whole life, but enough is enough, she needs to be somewhere where she can stop hurting us all. She still hurts my sisters and brother, I don’t have any family because I defended her during her trial (my grandpa said before he passed that she killed her mother), and my father who I met in my twenties was easily persuaded by her, and too busy lying to his wife to listen to me. I just don’t know what to do. She says she’s never hurt anyone. I’ve met people all over the world, I’ve witnessed multiple murders, I’ve been stabbed, been in many fights, seen plenty of abuse and bad things, but I’ve never known a more evil, truly bad and dangerous person as my mom. Any help would be appreciated..
Your really good. My wife alienated me from my kids. My poor kids are stuck with a psychopathic, narcissistic mother and isolated. I've exhausted myself and my resources trying to save them from her. They are now complicit in the sabotage of their own lives by their ignorance to what she truly is. I've sent each of them a link to this publication with hope that it will hit home with one of them and they will have the awakening they are in dire need of before it's too late. If they don't it's easy to see how they could spend much of their lives believing they are their own problems because she has indoctrinated them for so long to believe exactly that. So unbelievable that a mother could do such a thing to her own children. She has already handicapped them so much it's sickening.
It’s been a gradual learning about my toxic family system. Imagine being an ASD female with a mother with these traits with a father who is a malignant narcissist, and my siblings just going along with this toxic system. It’s VERY traumatizing.
Yes, absolutely. It can take years before you fully grasp the kind of family you have and that coping skills you will need to move forward with them our without them.
Dear lady with ASD yes- you are not alone- that is extremely difficult- compassion to you- remember you matter and lots of people are A** holes, I know for someone with ASD that you can feel so much extra vulnerable- but please remember your worth.
I left my family a year ago, literally picked up and left with how dangerous it was getting. Although the job market is not great right now, I'm in a WAY better place with a mentally healthy/ier fiance that treats me right.
Not only is it a psychological matter, but more often than not it’s a spiritual battle happening inside of each person with these personality disorders. We focus so much of the physical & not enough on the spirit. They’re soul would be rotten & picked apart if psychically able to be seen. I don’t feel bad for these people or think that it can be cured. It’s a parasite in them eating away at their life-essence. All they crave to inflict is harm onto others & drag you to hell with them
Well damn 😂
I always knew that my mother was a psychopath. I use to journal about how she didn't love me when I was a kid, I even though about running away or faking my own death to make her feel guilty of her actions and expecting her to change and treat me right. I though that maybe if I almost died she would change. She always bullied me and my brother, who has asperger syndrome and stuggles to show emotions and to build relationships with people, he is extremely antisocial. And all because of her. I wanted to die for years because of her, I cutted myself because of her, I hated myself, had low self esteem, anxiety, depression, and then I was traumatized after she tried to kill me once. She is a terrible person, her whole family hates her and thinks of her as a crazy violent woman. I still can't believe how she was abled to live without ending in a mental asylumn. After she tried to kill me I experienced nightmares, irritability, couldn't concentrate, I was repeating it in my head and a lot of anger built inside me. At times when she becomes extremely narcisistic I am afraid I can kill her at any time out of impulse. And I can't go to a psychologist because I don't have enough money to pay it myself, I also don't have any money to leave. All I hope for is to get my diploma, get a good job and leave the country so I can never see her again in my life and start a real treatment for me and my brother. All I hope is not too late when that happens. I am afraid of ending up loosing control of my own mind because of her, I am afraid that she would use that to control me for the rest of my life, because she already tried to do that with my little brother. I had to LIE so that he wouldn't get diagnosed and he wouldn't loose his legal independence as an adult. I swear I hope she dies alone and suffering. I hope she spends her last days crying, regreting everything that she did, and if hell exists I hope she burns for all eternity after she dies and never reencarnate near me and my whole family.
Intergenerational trauma absolutely. It's a shame because I've lost all aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents because of the family falling out and none of the kids being allowed to talk one another. Unfortunately my mother refuses to have a relationship with my kids because she despises my husband and myself although I've never done anything to cause this, she absolutely petrifies me even today with her violence and her coldness is something to be seen to quite believe. Any remaining family members I have I've walked away from because of the smears and I can't be bothered with defending myself anymore. There is no getting through to a person who has nothing in the centre, although intelligent, she's just an empty vessel. I still find her lack of empathy and compassion shocking at times but it is what it is. Thank you for this, I really appreciate your work.
My mother is a psychopath. I moved away to limit her influence in my daughter’s life. The last straw was when she told me she had cancer and I flew halfway across the country to be w
...to be with her. When I asked her about the cancer (because she did not bring it up), she did not answer but gave me a “duper’s delight” grin.
That was her way of reeling me back in after a no contact. She won and she was so proud of herself for being able to pull it off. I’ve had no contact for 24 years, and no regrets.
@@snowbird9660 Bravo! Excellent decision.
I can really Identify with your Research Tamara. I lived with a psychopathic/Malignant Narcissist Mother for 19 years. It was horrible being an Empathic Male around her hidden psychological terrorism each day. I'm glad I got out away from thatemotionally unstable violent woman.
Crazy thing is, the women I attracted like a magnet for 30 years were also some form of Narcissist too. Who would have imagined that?
The good news is that I've taken the Pandemic time to heal from their Covert Narcissictic Abuse. It's been over a year since being romantically involved. It feels great to be away from two faced chameleon females.
Today I feel better able to set higher standards, limits and dealbreakers now.
I was like millions of men who fall hard for sexy wealthy women. Go figure. Oh well, today I choose better and have a 20 point checklist before meeting for tea. None of the question have to do with attractiveness or Class status.
I have the exact same problem except I'm a female dating males. I kept attracting people like my abusive parents. Also stopped dating to heal. They say that sons pick their mothers and daughters pick their fathers (in some form) to marry. I also have a checklist, but so far they never make it past the first 2 tests. I simply tell them 'no' for something simple. Anything. "I cant talk right now", "I"m busy. Another time", or "I don't want to"....And they LOSE IT! Instant fail and I'm gone. The other test concerns their ex's. If they can't stop talking about the most recent ex and every single woman they've ever dated was pure evil according to them? Obviously the common denominator with all his ex's is him and why in the hell would I want to hear you go on about your ex's anyway? Yet...it dominates the conversation without any prompting from me. Time to jet. Forever.
You are so on it!!! 😳. My mother had almost every symptom you spoke of with a woman psychopath. My sister and I went through HELL.!!! 😳
I'm sorry 😔 Always difficult to live through.
@@TherapistTamaraHill thank you. Your video was very informative. I kept saying OMG 😳that was my mother. Everything you had mentioned was her. Again, thank you for your insight ☺️.
yes, you're welcome Cheri. I always hope validation and truth would be the beginning of a greater understanding every single video.
Sounds like my mom *sad sigh...Thank you for covering this topic!
My mother killed pets when my sisters and I dare have a thought or opinion that was not hers, she even chose our "favourite" colours for us!. Thankyou for these videos, I know now I'm not the crazy one ❤
You're welcome. This is a tough road indeed.
I was thinking about this and to me the difference between a narcissist and a psychopath is that a narcissist doesn't have any empathy where as a psychopath does. What I mean is that a psychopath can recognize emotions but uses that ability to further torture their victims. They know how the person feels or will feel when the psychopath hurts them. They enjoy hurting their victims. They need to be able to recognize emotions in others in order to force their actions upon them. They employ this knowledge to get the enjoyment out of seeing other's suffer.
Narcissists do have a conscience, though it is very weak, and psychopaths do not. Psychopaths do have cognitive empathy, whereas narcissists do not. However, a narcissist is not likely to kill you, and if they are, it’ll happen right away. You won’t have to be looking over your shoulder, or worried that your food is poisoned. Psychopaths are so much more dangerous. A sociopath does have a conscience as well, and also has cognitive empathy, though they aren’t as charming as a psychopath. Sociopaths probably won’t kill you either. Depending on the sociopath, they may just antagonize the crap out of you, and gaslight you because they can’t care about your feelings.
I grew up with a schizophrenic Grandmother and psychopath mother who were both alcoholic, meth users. My mom later tuned to pills then shooting up pills. She would make everyone miserable around her and we only found freedom in her death.
Mine used to say "sorry I'm not perfect like you" I'd say "yeah I'm sorry about that as well. Bummer for you..." she hated that..
Thanks so much for this excellent video. Could you suggest how those of us who had these monster as a mother how to explain it to others in a way they will understand? Majority of people don’t have a narcissistic sociopath or psychopath mother and trying to explain the experience can sound crazy bc they are truly crazy. There’s a feeling of isolation I think most children of these mothers feel bc it’s not something that others have experienced
You're welcome ladybug!! Thank you. 😊
I can certainly address this during my live event on Tuesday at 6pm. Come join us.
My cousin experienced this with his mom and it was isolating.
When people give me grief about being no contact "bUt sHeS YoUr mOtHeR" I just say "equally, mothers aren't supposed to abuse their own kids..."
It shuts people up rapidly because they assume sexual abuse..
My mother ruined my father's life and reputation. Far worse, I believe she started an accident that made my father shoot someone in our restaurant. She lied so much about how horrible my father was and he left to go back to Thailand. My mother was very abusive with my favorite dog, almost killing her many times. She physically abused my step father and recently lied to my father's family and is an 80 year old adult who does not feel anything for what she did. She's really fake in front of a temple. And uses people like my father to manipulate him and his 5 siblings. She was also abusive to my grandmother and kept me away from my father's family for 40 years. She is really stupid and turns everything around. She is very envious of me and recently locked me out of my own house that I was taking care of her. She also called the police and lied saying that I hurt her. What can I do about this.? I have never hurt her but stood up to her and told her that she was a horrible mother for what she did. And she just went crazy on me. What can I do to get her admitted when she turned everything around made me use up my money. Now she made everything worse by saying that my father raped me, and he is dead. He was the kindest father who raised me up to be independent and she was jealous that he was a better father than she was a mother. She has filed a restraining order on me, but I don't know if it went into affect because she is really cheap and uses other peoples money. My whole life can be made into a movie. She is out of control. On top of everything, my cousin dies who I came to visit because I could not get into my own house. Can I counter file for her fraudulant claim. The neighbor is on her side because she wants to sell her condo, which is in my name, and donate it to a fake, scamming new Buddhist cult. She is also going to be at my cousins funeral because she considers herself part of my father's family, and they all are beyond pissed off at her but they are on my side, thank goodness and are helping me out. What can I do about this. Since I am also a celebrity, can I do something to stop her spreading all of this malicous lies to her senior friends to get attention. She is sick.
A year later, and your video is still helping people, and I imagine it will for a long time to come. Thanks for sharing information on a public setting that normally only those would get access to during studying/research or therapy. It helps a lot!
You're welcome and thanks so much!! Very glad this is helpful.
You described my mother to a T. I have been calling her mother Dearest for years She thinks it’s funny. Anyhow God bless you and thank you for this. Going to share it out.
Thank you! And God bless you too. :) I'm glad this was helpful.
Thank you for this x my birth mother has psychopathic tendencies (I only really figured that out a couple of months ago) and has always been emotionally abusive
Thank you so much Dr. Támara, your insight validates all my suspicions! It's unfortunate for our family but the truth is liberating.
Hi Bella!
Thank you for watching!
Sometimes validation is all we need to make the next step. It's worked for me in the past.
My mother isn’t a perfectionist with everything but she is when it comes to me, I was in bands, solo gigs etc. she crushed it alll she crushed everything I worked for I became so beyond depressed and she thought it was hilarious. This is just one of the many things she has gone. Recently she told me how she would manipulate me and my siblings as kids and all these fucked up things she would do and then pretend she didn’t. Etc things that would make us cry and traumatize is. She told me she told my dead beat dad to kill me she never had that bond with me like she did with my other siblings. The older she is getting the more she pushes us all away.
Thank you for sharing this with us. I'm sorry you've had to experience this. It sounds like there are a lot of self-esteem issues with your mom including a need for control. The best way to get away from this psychological and emotional manipulation is to put space between you and strive for a healthier future without this person in it (or at least see them occasionally).
Not every psychopathic mother is perfect but rather they have this extr urge to CONTROL others espec their daughters etc. And they try to remain this perfect image even when it's a whole different horrible reality below that image. They're all about maintaining that facade
Unlike wine they don’t age well. I terminated the relationship completely with my abusive, nasty, conscienceless biomother when I was about 30. Since she’s “pushing you away” I would be delighted to fulfill her demand.
AND STAY GONE.
That need to control is why they try to cause you to lose your jobs and support people, so that they can Lord over you.
Very true- and then the stigma of how could you be like that with an old lady- they are like vinegar though- preserved- stinky- and really could last a very long time- they outlive many.
Wow I'm just stunned at how pin point it describes my family. Lost for words. Seriously. You even break it down to the cortex like I do. I wouldn't mind a therapy session with you.
Thank you! That's kind of you!
Glad this was helpful.
Thank you so much for posting this free online! You probably don't know it but you're out here saving lives! Thank you again!
💖 You're welcome. Thank YOU! So sweet and very glad this was helpful.
I’m dealing with a psychopathic husband whose mother is very likely a sociopath. We were married for over 20 years during which the mother participated in gaslighting me “Oh Jenny, he just loves you so much”...and as soon as I finally got out of the relationship they both began running a parental alienation scheme against me with my children. Honestly I could write a book about the things I have learned in this situation and I’m at a good place where I accept it’s going to take time and that I will have to say things that make me unpopular but I refuse to go along with the false narrative they are intent to hold up - that I’m an abusive parent and my spouse is a devoted father. I definitely wasn’t perfect and I made plenty of mistakes as a mom that I wish I could go back and fix, like yelling at them too much. But I have never once shown my children cruelty, which is at the heart of parental alienation.
When I speak the truth, it’s so ugly that no one wants to hear it. While it’s true many find my message offensive, I’m describing behavior that is observable by anyone who cares to look. If what I say offends, it’s because the behavior needs to stop, not because I need to stop pointing it out to others.
Screaming at a child is abusive: They are KIDS, not mini adults. Seek anger management assistance for yourself.
@@tundrawomansays5067 I fully admit that it was abusive of me and I talk to them both about how much I regret that. Maybe you’re not familiar with the term reactive abuse. And my children actually are young adults now, and they were when I wrote that.
@@jennodine I get what you were saying. I get that you were being honest and doing your best to atone for past mistakes. Probably more than anyone I can relate to what you experienced with your co parent and his family attempting to alienate your children from you with a false narrative. And I can really relate to provoking the wrong response in people that you expected help or even compassion from. I couldn't get any sympathy, compassion or help as my kids were being alienated from me. I kept calling it out and the response I got was not the response I expected. Much like the response your comment here provoked. Such a cold, uncaring response that you could feel the disgust and complete lack of comprehension in their stupid tone.
I'm sorry. I know what you went thru. I hope it has improved.
Thank you for this. I’ve been confused on my mothers diagnosis. For example, she had me set up to be raped, laughed after it happened, convinced me to retract my statement to the police knowing I would go to jail for perjury so while I was sitting in jail for 30 days reliving the violent trauma that took my virginity, my mother made me call her everyday on the jail phone at the same time to beg and bark like a dog. If I didn’t do it I wasn’t allowed to go to college. College was my only escape to get out of the locked closet I grew up in without school for many years. My dad snuck me an SAT book and took me to testing in order to help me get away from her because he was trapped too.
Has your mom served any time for this or ever received psychiatric help? Based on what you are saying she has done far beyond abuse you. She should have served a lot of time for her behaviors. I'm very sorry for this trauma in your life. I do hope that you are able to pick up the pieces and seek your own help for peace of mind.
oh my god! I am a male and my mother allowed his brother to sexually abuse me while I was a child and she showed no remorse!
Compassion to you. These women are evil. I have kids now. I know what it is like to be a mother in difficult circumstances and after all my study and therapy I now settle for evil.
I don't think childhood trauma is always a factor when it comes to psychopaths, especially due to the brain dysfunction
Absolutely. It's not. But in most cases it is. There are many factors involved when a parent is a psychopath. Every case, every child, and every family is different.
Sometimes it’s genetic
Agreed. These brain studies? There are no previous brain scans of the individual so these proposed “differences” may simply be incidentalomas. There’s nothing to compare to the scan the individual had prior to that day. Further, the brain scans on some researchers indicate they “should be” psychopaths etc. and obviously, they aren’t. Career criminals (successfully prosecuted or not) know to always cite their alleged horrid backgrounds and since this field doesn’t regularly engage in procuring any confirming evidence and routinely takes the word of cohort that is not known for their veracity your observation is well considered.
My mother was a psychopath who loved to physically hurt people and seduce men. She beat me for hours and broke my bones as a child. She had me dress up for her lovers at 12 and then went into the bedroom and had sex with them while my father was at work.The next day she would beat me for being a whore.She was head psych nurse at various mental hospitals and laughed about how the patients comitted suicide and inferred that she might have something to do with their deaths. She was alcoholic and in an accident where. she was responsible for two people being killed and never went to jail. That is just the tip of the iceburg. She was a powerful member of society and told me she would kill me if I ever told anyone what I knew.I left at 15 and lived in the woods till I was 18 and legal. She died in 2007 after disinheriting me.
I'm so sorry Valerie. That's terrible. She sounds like she needed a lot of help. And she was engaging in the "organization" of child abuse by not protecting you and allowing men to violate you. Was she ever charged? That's a crime and she should have been placed in jail for sexual abuse and the maltreatment of a child. It's basically corruption of a minor. And the fact that she worked in a mental health hospital speaks to some of the points I have made in past videos on the instability of certain professionals within the field. It's a sad reality but there are some mental health providers who should have never graduated school. They get through for many reasons and once they do, watch out. They love to feel they are helping and some love the authority they have over others. But they are sick. They need help. And they don't need to be in a position of caring for people who are vulnerable. I'm sorry you had to experience this woman.
Have to pray for these crazies whole different kind 🙏🙏🙏thank you 💜
Sounds like you’re describing a factor 2 psychopath. My mother was very good at delaying gratification, and she also treated me very well. My sister, and to a less extent, brother, were treated horribly by her. My sister actually meets criteria for ASPD(non psychopathy), and she was even diagnosed with bipolar disorder, after her first breakdown due to complex trauma. I have no real idea what my mother did to her before I was born, but I think it was very very very bad. It seemed that my mother’s main victim was my father, and she used us to torture him. I do not have a relationship with either of my siblings now, and I feel very much survivor’s guilt because they are doing so poorly. I tried to reach out to my brother, after having this epiphany, but he did not respond.
Feel I relate to this so much
My mother is a sociopath overt narcissist and it’s a constant battle because she tries to degrade me and now that I have been educating myself and have my self esteem back I will not let her cross my boundaries. I confront her about the cunning sneaky put downs and then she says I am malicious and mean.she actually mimics my emotions. She admitted in front of my fiancée and I that I have to accept her demons. I feel it is time to go no contact.
Having survived my mother who tried to murder through drowning in a bath - saved by my father who intervened and then proceeded to strangle her to death, she most definitely had psychopathic traits and was not mentally ill. She did not have most of the personality traits you mentioned apart from gross self centred and verbally aggressive. She just did not care. And was a bad mother. Mainly psychopath lacks conscience and empathy, as you stated but particularly they are devoid of a moral compass ( they make up their own rules that suit) and they tend to dehumanise and objectify others. They cannot give love. They make these choices in full knowledge. They are not crazy or wired differently. Sure, they think differently and their personality is disorder. It’s in reality it is a soul sickness, that goes beyond the study of matter, being science. They never took personal responsibility or accountability for their actions, but justify them and they are self serving. Some people are just bad by choice as there are good people who choose another path.
I had recently found my mother to be a psychopath. She fits the description of almost all the articles I had read regarding psychopath. In her eyes I saw hell. Are they demons sent from hell to punish us?
It can really feel like it. And the sad part is that not everyone can see what we see. Trying to "prove" their evil can feel like a chess match.
Támara Hill, MS NCC CCTP LPC hi Tamara, thanks for the understanding. Now I think more about it, she is more of a sociopath than a psychopath. She doesn’t have much empathy but isn’t afraid of hiding her rage when confronted. She does have a weak sense of conscience (ie realizing she has trouble understanding others) but just can’t control it
I feel the same to be honest. When you have a psychopathic mother who is so violent both physically and verbally you learn how to analyze people and to see their emotional reaction before its coming. I learned that this is a protective behavior of children of unsafe parents... What I want to say: I see through a lot of people because I can sense their feelings. And never in my life did I meet someone as cold and mean and bad like my mother. And because of her big parts of my childhood have been hell for me. She is definitely evil and bad. No empathy whatsoever. Not even for dying animals or suffering children wtf. How cold can someone be? I will never understand and to be honest I am happy I don't understand.
I know I've seen and encountered many of these types of people, it seems that the more Psychopathic a narcissistic they are the more popular an attention they get and that's the disturbing part I'm glad I have you to turn to when I feel like this
Was never this way as a mother, never even tried to be this way as a mother. This is terrifying news.
I know a guy with a mom a lot like this. They keep harassing myself and another, much more important person.
My mother and her entire family are narcissists and psychopaths. All most everything you said here is wrong for my family. Someone needs to study these 5 sisters, 3 brothers, their mother and the resulting damage to their multiple children. How do I find someone to do a study on is as a large family?
Same here, with my "mother's " family!!!! All children are damaged or are narcissists. That's why I stay away from them!!
What would that study mean to you? Your experiences are enough to inform your thinking. Please remember, the result of psychiatric studies are at best a best guess.
That’s why unlike the physical sciences there are Laws, not just hypotheses.
This was crazy good very eye opening. I have multiple female psychopaths in my family. Mind blown to smithereens. Thanks for this great video connecting the dots
Thank you Camille Rose!! So glad this was helpful.
Other good movies based off of this topic is named Too close to Home with Judith Light and Rick Shrouder, and The Sins of a Mother with Elizabeth Montgomery (Samantha from Bewitched). Both are based off of a true story, and both of them caught me off guard. I NEVER knew mother's/women could be so cold and calculating. My mother ALWAYS talked about how bad/horrible men was/is. But I NEVER accepted that way of thinking. I believe that is part of the reason why she hated/disliked me, and partly because she saw me as competition based off of something that she made up in her own mind and heart. That's why it's VERY imperative to seek a real, whole, complete, and healthy relationship with Christ and self first and foremost above ALL things. And to also get counseling/therapy or what have you, if the spirit of the LORD lead you to do so. I honestly DIDN'T realize how sick and disturbed my mother really is until recently. I understand what is wrong with her, based off of how they was supposedly raised. And it seems as though their mother had psychological issues as well, and they was basically forced to suppress their feelings and hide their real emotions. I noticed that my mom and her sister's seem to be very narcissistic (for the most part), and it's VERY draining to interact with them.
I was lead to Jesus as well. 🤍
My mother and I are really close. But sadly, I've been up-close to mothers who are TOXIC. It's terrifying.
If this video was helpful please like, share, and comment.
so interesting and you explain it so well. i love your videos and learn so much....wow...lots of good info. thank you!
Thank you Carrie! Really glad these are helpful.
I've believed for a while that my mother is a psychopath but listening to this makes me doubt that.
She's always been sly and manipulative within the family. She lies with such confidence but as she gets older, she no longer lies with the same ease as she's constantly caught out. She did kill our pets when we were young which is the very thing that makes me believe she's a psychopath. She also had munchousen by proxy. She used to tell everyone I was oxygen starved at birth and the doctor had wanted me to die but she saved me. Everyone around her thought she was a wonderful mother but behind closed doors she would tell me I was stupid, mental... an idiot and how she wished I'd died at birth. She was also very jealous of our youthfulness and would try and put us down and say things like, "I'm sorry about your looks, you take after your father" and "you should of seen me when I was your age, I turned every head in town".
Apart from the pets, I don't really see much here that fits her.
Walk a way..............NO contact what so ever........the sooner you do this, the more of your life you SAVE....🤔
Very true! Agree.
Yes this is so true. My mother is just like that. Finally I found an answer. I asked many psychologists what is wrong with her but they couldn't tell me. I am so happy I broke contact with her. It was tough but now I feel like I finally can live my own life and be calm, safe and free.
How do you keep up?!
I love the variety and yet, structure on this channel. 🥰
My mother in law is a psychopath and she nearly killed my husband. She's ill.
Thank you 💖 Thanks for watching!
Mother's who are aggressive and potentially dangerous are the worst. They are trying devoid of perspective taking.
thank you so much!! you have been very helpful!! and saved me a lot of my time for searching about the topic because it's was so confusing for me 😢
You're very welcome!
Thank you for this eye-opening educational information.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR A CLEAR, CONCISE, AND EXCELLENT EXPLANATION BETWEEN A PSYCHOPATH AND SOCIOPATH. I WAS HONESTLY A BIT FUZZY BETWEEN THE TWO, AND WAS THINKING WHAT WAS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TWO A FEW DAYS AGO. GOD IS GOOD. AND HE'S ALWAYS RIGHT ON TIME.
Amen!! He is. And you're welcome.🤗
I have/had five psychopaths in my family. My mother was one of them. She started poisoning my father in 2011, very shortly after I made it clear to her that I preferred him. I was 26 at the time, and had no idea what my mother was. My father was dead the next year, at 62, supposedly of ALS. All of the psychopaths in my family have either killed at least one person, or made them very sick, that I know of. I cannot tell anyone but my husband. If I went to a therapist, I do not think they’d believe me.
I actually have more than five. There is at least one more in my more extended family.
I'm so sorry. Sorry for the loss of your father, that you have such an evil mother and mostly sorry that no one has offered you anything in the 8 months that your comment has been sitting there. No compassion. No sympathy. No positive vibes. My mom killed my Dad and my brother. Indirectly but they both died as a result of her actions. She had me put in prison for trying to expose her. When I got out she was there to greet me as if we were long lost buddies. 2.5 years in a state penitentiary at 19 when I should have been in the Air Force. Its actually not something I regret. It was a learning experience and very much helped to shape the man I am now. In a way I was lucky and got some of the hardest lessons out of the way very early in my life and because they were hard lessons they stayed with me and I have not needed to learn them again. I've embraced it and turned it into a positive experience. You need to try and do the same. Take something positive away from your experience or it will haunt you and eventually affect your life in ways you don't want it to. I can see the pain in your Aura if that is indeed your real self. You need to change that. Live for something positive. Rid yourself of those toxic people. Make your life what you want it to be. If you don't you'll likely end up becoming your mom from the bitterness you harbor for her. Sounds harsh and impossible but it's real wisdom I wish someone had given me. Use it and pay it forward when the opportunity presents itself. Good luck.
Thank you! My grandmother fits all of this. Rose Marie Sqobba
You're welcome. And I'm sorry. That's difficult indeed.
Yep! Mine tried to kill me more than once and smeared me as the crazy one from the time I was 7 years old.
Oh my. I'm so sorry. That's tragic.😔
@@TherapistTamaraHill Definitely. Thank you for sharing information on the subject. It really helps. I'm still recovering from the CPTSD/PTSD from that and the subsequently connected traumatic situations. RUclips content creators like you helped me to finally start seeing the real problems and start healing. There needs to be more mental health professionals that understand the m.o. of these kinds of abusers. Would have saved me over a decade of medical abuse from doctors just going along with her narrative rather than inquiring further and seeing the signs. The amount licensed professionals that can't tell the difference between a mood disorder and a traumatized state from domestic violence is abhorrent. Not to mention the psychiatric drug regiments for chemical imbalances actually worsen PTSD over a long enough timeline (due to masking symptoms, preventing healing/processing of the trauma, and the tendency to give child abusers plausible alibis when gaslighting and avoiding intervention; as well as tools to continue the abuse.).
Hopefully more will get as educated as you are. Too many kids and especially teenagers are going through the same thing everyday not knowing why no one will help them.
Yep mines to she pulled a gun on me
I love your work!
I'm studying Clinical Psychology, International Relations & Music Education as we speak.
Thank you Bill Sims!! And congrats on getting into this field. We need more knowledge partners.
Thank You so much for your insight and easy for me to understand all that you share of your knowledge.. It is a great gift that you are giving of understanding for those seeking it. I have been traumatized by not one but BOTH parents that have all but one (1 questionable house fire) And both have the check marks ... I was the scape goat.. everything on me.. because I would not stand for the lies.... all my childhood I was known as a liar as she would proffes it to everyone ... Because I would tell the truth ... and sadly some sibblings accept it some are completely void of any truth and those are the golden child.. But as it stands.... I am in a no contact... and finaly after 40 years of needing to get away.... My soul is in understanding that every time I allow myself to step in in hopes that thing may have changed... within a short period of time..my mothers toxic ways spreads vicious fire about to destroy any bond that is or has formed .. cut those bond with her lies... So now I say , and think to myself, They choose to belive those lies even after Ive heard them say out loud to me and to others,That I am not what was said and made of me for all those years that we were appart... but yet again for the 4th or 5th time it has come to this again... Now I let go,in pain in my heart... yet I find understanding in the deepest of ways.. If they choose to beleive someone over their own truth.. Just because they choose to beleive it doesnt make it the truth. Thank you for sharing..... have a wonderful !!!
Tamara you are the best in the entire universe. 👍
🥰💖 So kind of you! Thank you.
When you say violent (describing psychopath vs sociopath) does it have to be physical violence or can it include verbal and passive aggressive behavior? For example, pretending you didn't harm someone or that it was an accident but have little to no empathy or compassion. Also, verbal and emotional abuse.
I have the same question
Omg my mother calls HERSELF “Mommy Dearest,” and is so proud of it. She’s def a psychopath. I’ve been in a state of terror, frustration, and confusion my entire life, and barely survived childhood epilepsy because she and my step-dad made me have seizures on purpose. Whose abuses their own child, a DISABLED child!?
Tamara I love watching your videos they help me with my clients and I have a part of their sessions where it's called Tamara Hill time haha! thank you for the content you share May God Bless you in helping others even more so! I am grateful to God He let me find your page. Could you make some videos about sexual abuse victims and some coping skills videos for trauma and self-esteem.
💖🙏thank you for these kind works! Hod bless you too!! Glad to have you on the channel.
here is a video I did a few years back on sexual abuse trauma: ruclips.net/video/ImSW4j67S4E/видео.html
but your topic suggestion is now on my list!
I now just think of it as part of the the human condition 😢
It’s obviously some natural defense mechanism because it occurs all over the place. The only way to change this is to make a world where people have good childhoods. All of this is in my family... I was the black sheep... it’s so sad that so many people experience this living hell... all we can do is try to wake up to this all the way and heal ... it helps me to understand this isn’t personal at all... never was ... just damaged people lashing out and living in their own hell... the dysfunction in their head.
💖 to all who’ve experienced this. Great video 🌟
Thanks a lot for your video. Its really helping me understand. Can you tell me, are psychopath mothers always criminals or do some do only moral crimes like trying to destroy you emotionally or by suicide?
I think mom is a psychopath. She's narcissistic but not like any type of narcissist I read about, not at all interested in what people think of her, she just does what she wants, and isn't bothered at all about societal norms, she likes to rebel against or control society instead, secretly, not interested in being 'seen' as a rebel unlike a narcissist but only in the rebelling part. She's extremely abusive and controlling. CONTROLLING! She controls everything, not in an ocd way, but in a domineering aggressive way, and she controls through terror and intimidation and gaslighting.
She looks down on absolutely everyone, but also has some idealised fictional people in her head, has zero empathy, zero remorse, is a pathological liar, has tens of personas, is completely glib and shallow at times, but at other times she acts so well being an empath she almost seems to be the nicest person alive, she's charming, interesting, she captivates people but acts quite introverted, mild, quiet often. She can also be extremely aggressive and macho, or act completely passive and naive like a little girl. She can be a completely wild and drunk and drug taking antisocial belching rebel one day who wants to show the world she's boss, then the next day dress like an elderly conservative lady and act completely 'square' , pillor of society, status quo, taking cakes to a bake sale and doing charity if its not hard work. This isn't 2 sides of one person, there are literally tens of different masks she wears depending on the setting. She's like 20 different people. A chameleon. She's not like someone with an identity crisis, she's more like someone who chooses all her different personas and masks depending on what will be most successful.
She tried to get me put in a mental hospital and convinced me I was mentally and physically ill when I wasn't. She's also tried to get me to commit suicide. She used to use some kind of mind control on is kids, it's hard to explain, and she harmed us in every way possible physically and verbally. She gaslights as a default and is not afraid to get aggressive at the drop of a hat. She's absolutely remorseless. She is also absolutely evil. But can play empath, naive, innocent. Pity plays. She's also really really calm in really stressful situations, she used to be called on to do diplomacy at one charity she was manipulating, because she could be so calm when people were raging and getting upset. She used to work on a suicide prevention hotline for the same reason, but that really scares me now. Once the breaks failed on her truck with us kids in the back, on a hill, but she just calmly kept driving right across a main road without stopping at the lights, then pulled in ages later where she could find a space to park, she didn't even break a sweat or say a word. To my knowledge she has never committed actual crimes.
What advice do you give for parents who have psychopath or sociopath children? What advice do you give for people who are dealing with loved ones or friends who are psychopath or sociopath?
Good question! This video might give you some insights on that:
1. ruclips.net/video/qYOG9-arAok/видео.html
2. ruclips.net/video/rZHDngAmvQc/видео.html
I will be coming back to this topic in the next few weeks as well
My mother was also a nurse for over 20 years and would study the psychology txt books she had to get psych tested for her job a couple times and after the mandatory psych test she would transfor her nursing license to a new state .. she worked exclusively hospice and elder care until she was no longer aloud to see patients in person. Due to someone finaly noticing the incredible amount of unexplained and early deaths of patients in her care and the strange amount and frequency she would change or move to different elderly care facilities...and forced to do administrative duties only. So she quit and now drives a school bus🤯😵💫🤬 I have severe CPTSD In intensive Therapy for last 8 years I'm still terrified of her and struggling with hating myself for being born from such evil . My trauma therapists told me about her diagnosis of ASPD ON PSYCHOTIC SPECTRUM a few years ago parts of me didn't want to believe them but I recently for the first time in 17 yrs and for the last time visited her and it was very frightening how seeing her behaviors were everything my therapists prepared me for and explained . Honestly I feel lucky to have survived
Great video
Love the content, you explain it very well and are not afraid to be colorful in your explanation. Alot of other mental heath pros seem to try to be balanced and refrain from using too many adjectives, in their videos, and yet try to be descriptive and try to do all this under 15 mins. I like that you dont try to do this......I've actually been looking for content on sociopathic fathers and their effect on their children, I think you could really do a really good video on that.
Thank you Al Troy!! I'm glad to hear this.
I actually just recently did a video on psychopathic fathers. Here it is: ruclips.net/video/ISqnKR9nXwg/видео.html
More on this topic:
ruclips.net/video/kftN2LNeQuQ/видео.html
ruclips.net/video/u8hhYxkmlzs/видео.html
i love this channel! You provide so much insight. this was really helpful for me to identify traits in my mother. At the 12:30 mark you briefly touch on men that are diagnosed as psychopaths. Do you plan on creating a video about the identifiable traits in men that are psychopaths?
Thank you so much! And thank you for watching. I will certainly be talking about male psychopaths and we're going to delve in a little bit to Ted Bundy and a few other psychopaths of our modern time.
It's devastating to have a mother who's a psychopath, but it's probably just as devastating to have a father who is a psychopath and creates problems for a family.
We'll get there!
Thank you for the video. very nicely delivered, strait to the point pack with info. nice job! hopefully you still read comments a year later. anyway i have a question. is there anyway to prove someone is a psychopath for a protection order? someone who has lived entire life under the radar and is very toxic and manipulative. Is so good at it she appears to most to be a good person. My mother is not a nice person to say the least and I don't want her near me or my son ever again. she is just too toxic, sadly its not her fault but none the less i cant let my son go through anything close to what i did. I just recently figured this out about her and made the mistake of telling her I know. She's convinced family and even my ex that I'm crazy. my ex even lets her take my son alone. You may not have the answer for this and i get it if so. I just don't know how i would convince a judge when my entire family doesn't even believe me.
Thankyou for this! It’s helping me resolve my own childhood. If I notice I have some of these inherited tendencies, how could I bring this up with my therapist? I’m definitely a perfectionist from my own trauma and I’d like to work on letting it go
Psychopatic parents should have their children taken away, no compromise there.
My mother is a psychopath. She screams and shouts at her adult children. She doesn't see her children as her children. She doesn't have feelings. She doesn't care about anything or anyone just herself and food. She really doesn't care about her children at all. She never taught me much of anything and her teaching skills is screaming. Dealing with negative things she has never once said she was proud of me. She doesn't love me. She has said many times she doesn't care about me and hates me. She wants me to leave her house but wants money and could care less about my feelings or my sister's feelings saying things like, "why talk to her. DO you really think I care if she ever says anything to me ever again. Then just stop talking her. Nobody wants to deal with that bullshit." (She is talking about me.) Even her husband left her.
Tamara, please contact me. I’ve been going through hell for years with this one. I’m concerned about my daughters life.
This is really good ...
I've known both types ...
Let's not just call this a sickness though ...
It's far more than that ...
We don't want to give them a pass, that's their goal ...
Thanks!
Thank you Maria! And you're welcome.
my mother is a psychopath and has had multiple affairs w men. tried to kill her own mother. plots to kill my siblings and my father for his properties. stole all the property papers, stole important stuff from us. and still has court orders ro stay in the house with us and wont divorce my dad. Her new facade is that she is a devout religious person and pretends ro pray rhe whole day, but i see her passing her time on the phone instead. nuts. she is ill and needs help. not only we all fear for our lives, but what has life come to?
oh man. I'm sorry to hear this. She sounds like she needs a lot of support and extra support in learning who she really is. Most women like this, including men, wear whatever mask they can find for the day. Very saddening.
@@TherapistTamaraHill yes, its an extremely absurd, difficult situation. The fact that shes so charming, and the residents of my country are very religious people, does not help. People end up believing her version of the story and sympathize with her, mostly because shes a woman, and paints a picture to others that my dad is a monster.
we have to show people hard physical evidence like video recordings or pictures to prove our innocence.
Now shes in the house, living with us in the lockdown. We have to hide all the knives and anything she could use as a weapon. Every night i sleep with an open eye in fear that she will murder us all. And the cops or the courts are of no help.
Love the videos and I really like that youre so liberal with the information; sometimes I feel likj therapists are a little reticent to be too informative less they get lees clients or give away the substance of therapy......I was kinda hoping you'd talk about the "psychopathic stare". There are some videos on RUclips of people making commentary about a distinct predatory look that psychopathic men and women give in which, the commentators usually mention that, the psychopathic subject they are talking about , usually moves their pupils less or something to this effect. I just wanted to hear your thoughts on that.
Thank you!
You're welcome!
Dr. Hill, thank you for explaining this topic of such importance. I, too, have to deal with the fact of having a mother with these traits; therefore, I have experienced several events due to her facilitation and complete involvement in them throughout the years that have left me emotionally scarred and financially unstable in my 30s. In spite all of that, I've had some therapy which has helped a lot. I was wondering if you could kindly answer...What is the best thing to do in this case? Distance? Confrontation? I have searched for an answer and yet I feel confused. Thanks in advance. Wonderful video!
Hi Nathaly, I'm so sorry to hear this. These kind of mothers scar their children for many years and some for life. They are scars most will have until they die. These mothers should never be parents.
Sometimes I think confrontation is helpful and even therapeutic. Other times distance is best, especially if you recognize that this mother doesn't have insight into their own behaviors. A mother who is going to go into denial and refuse to face the truth is going to hurt you during confrontation if you need her to "validate" you by admitting her faults. If this isn't what you are seeking, then confrontation may be worth it. It really just depends on the players involved and your tolerance.
Thank you for your kind comments!
Take care
@@TherapistTamaraHill Thank you so much for taking the time to answer. You've got a new subscriber. It's been hard, going through this year has been quite a bumpy and muddy ride (COVID aside) but I am still learning and I am hopeful. People like you help...A LOT!
You're welcome! And thank you. Kind words are so needed in the world today. We've been through so much.
God bless you too!
My mom is a mistress. She ruined another man's family. My mom wants to sell all my deceased dad that had been working hard to put up to. And im not sure if she wants to share anything with me anymore. Im just adopted with no family. My biological mom who is her sister has schizophrenia who keeps asking money from me. I live in a country where family value is important and it really sucks. Sometimes i think like i wanna kill myself and see if what will they feel if they don't have a daughter to go to to when they get old. In my country, we dont have geriatric homes. I hope something will happen that can change my mom back to when she was sweet and cares about me. Now she keeps on bullying me about being adopted. Hurts.
I have a great case on this. Very much fits these traits, excused as 'Culture'
Thank you for the video. My husband and I both feel this about each others mothers. Now, they are working together and there is no way to tell which is which. It is causing a major disaster in our relationship. I know my Mom and her flaws (she tries to be perfect but is a realist and falls short) but she aspires to be like his Mom. My mother in law is defiantly a sociopath... I am not sure if she is a psychopath but, given the last year, I think she could be. It is getting worse everyday! My Mom is learning from his Mother in a pursuit to be perfect and I am very worried about our future!
Envision a future without either one of these harridans in your life: Feel better already? Yep.
Time for both of you to walk away from the hot mess completely. Please don’t ever subject a child to what you and your spouse have lived. If you’re struggling as an adult please remember: This crap impacts a child in magnitudes beyond the impact it has on an adult.
THANK YOU!!!!!!!
You're welcome!!
Thank you. Will you make a video about covert narcissistic man?/woman?
The need for perfection is true. My mom flips out when I much the plants. As a kid, she used to criticize me for not eating corn on the cob in a perfect line. Constant criticism, and big time Mommy Dearest behind closed doors. I think my mom is both psychopath and sociopath, I can’t tell bc she’s violent but not smart.
Eh, call her what she is: Malevolent. And call yourself “Gone.” She is *not going to get better.* And please remember, there’s a *huge difference between intelligence and cunning.* IQ has nothing to do with this situation.
Bet she doesn’t abuse you in public....interesting how they absolutely *can* control themselves in public or in view of others.
GREAT information!!!
Thanks so much for watching!!
Long time no see!
I’m revisiting this. And I’m afraid most therapists don’t give the information needed