This is so true and it's my biggest problem. I can perform when I have too, I can tease and flirt and even be sexual, but deep down I still struggle with feeling desperate and being needy and that inner struggle inevitably shows itself once my performance wares off. I understand the importance of not being needy but how do you stop this behavior to truly go for what you want and not be afraid of the consequences
One key is to start walking away from hot women, I madea video about it, but making this change, will shift quite a few things - ruclips.net/video/SkctR_O7sC4/видео.html
@@SchoolOfAttraction this is gold dust. I guess this mindset shift is what I'm looking for. I'll definitely try and put this into practice, next time I'm out and think about the qualities I went a woman to have. Thanks
This is such a powerful video and mindset, saving it to my favorites list! Just a note for guys who are seeing this: it is completely normal to be afraid of saying such things, the fear is probably never going away, the secret is to start to learn to state those things even feeling fear. Somedays we win, somedays we won't.
It's very interesting, it kinda intersects with stuff like "non-violent communication", with its "I-statements" and "you-statements". But about aloofness - I have a question. I really like women who can show initiative. Yes, of course, it is partly because of the "avoidant-anxious attachment" dynamics and all of this unhealthy subtext, but partly it's my honest preference - women who are both submissive and capable of escalation. It's a rare mix, of course, but I found out that when I became more aloof, I started meeting more women that act and not just wait when I will act. Is there a healthy way to screen for such women without being aloof?
In my experience, women like that are more likely than not less attractive or have something wrong with them. That's how the game works, an attractive women doesn't have to do that because she will have lots of men that are already taking the initiative, she only has to say yes to one of them. Or she's really young and inexperienced, but thats quite rare nowadays
@@thegritsch > women like that are more likely than not less attractive It's OK for me, I may be a rare person that values behaviour more than looks. I mean, of course I would prefer a pretty girl, but it's not as important for me as for many other men =-)
This is one of the problems with younger women... they are never taught to take initiative - it's only as they get a bit older that they realise how important it is for learning to get what she actually wants in life.
I find that women who are direct - tend to bounce off of my directness... so... to take things to an extreme level... I look a woman dead in the eyes and say "I want you to come home with me tonight" - the indirect woman will have poor eye contact, she'll say yes, but be super vauge and have to still be pushed along... the direct woman will look me dead in the eys back and say "Yes, I like this idea very much" - I'm obviously paraphrasing a bit, but you get what I mean though right? She'll be very comfortable responding to my directness.
you've ask yourself why do you need people validation. Is it because you have been traumatized being called useless for your whole life, or its just complete mess of how your family treated you. Once you start recognizing the core issue, start being less needy irl and when you have more positive reactions, plant those good seeds in your mind and slowly overtime your belief system will start to change. While if you fail during the self actualisation, don't ever self attack constantly. Identify, acknowledge, clarify by taking actions, reinforce, nourish your mind constantly
When your woman says," do you love me" say.... I DON'T EVEN LIKE YOU.
We should be direct because we are in a dating app so the topic should be that in conversation ,
This is so true and it's my biggest problem. I can perform when I have too, I can tease and flirt and even be sexual, but deep down I still struggle with feeling desperate and being needy and that inner struggle inevitably shows itself once my performance wares off. I understand the importance of not being needy but how do you stop this behavior to truly go for what you want and not be afraid of the consequences
One key is to start walking away from hot women, I madea video about it, but making this change, will shift quite a few things - ruclips.net/video/SkctR_O7sC4/видео.html
@@SchoolOfAttraction this is gold dust. I guess this mindset shift is what I'm looking for. I'll definitely try and put this into practice, next time I'm out and think about the qualities I went a woman to have. Thanks
This is such a powerful video and mindset, saving it to my favorites list! Just a note for guys who are seeing this: it is completely normal to be afraid of saying such things, the fear is probably never going away, the secret is to start to learn to state those things even feeling fear. Somedays we win, somedays we won't.
I will give this a try. Thank you.
Great advice. Thank you.
Mode One 👍
Exactly
Genius
Brilliant video as always!
Thanks again!
It's very interesting, it kinda intersects with stuff like "non-violent communication", with its "I-statements" and "you-statements".
But about aloofness - I have a question.
I really like women who can show initiative. Yes, of course, it is partly because of the "avoidant-anxious attachment" dynamics and all of this unhealthy subtext, but partly it's my honest preference - women who are both submissive and capable of escalation. It's a rare mix, of course, but I found out that when I became more aloof, I started meeting more women that act and not just wait when I will act.
Is there a healthy way to screen for such women without being aloof?
In my experience, women like that are more likely than not less attractive or have something wrong with them. That's how the game works, an attractive women doesn't have to do that because she will have lots of men that are already taking the initiative, she only has to say yes to one of them. Or she's really young and inexperienced, but thats quite rare nowadays
@@thegritsch > women like that are more likely than not less attractive
It's OK for me, I may be a rare person that values behaviour more than looks. I mean, of course I would prefer a pretty girl, but it's not as important for me as for many other men =-)
This is one of the problems with younger women... they are never taught to take initiative - it's only as they get a bit older that they realise how important it is for learning to get what she actually wants in life.
I find that women who are direct - tend to bounce off of my directness... so... to take things to an extreme level... I look a woman dead in the eyes and say "I want you to come home with me tonight" - the indirect woman will have poor eye contact, she'll say yes, but be super vauge and have to still be pushed along... the direct woman will look me dead in the eys back and say "Yes, I like this idea very much" - I'm obviously paraphrasing a bit, but you get what I mean though right? She'll be very comfortable responding to my directness.
@@SchoolOfAttraction Hmm, that's interesting, thanks! =-)
you've ask yourself why do you need people validation. Is it because you have been traumatized being called useless for your whole life, or its just complete mess of how your family treated you.
Once you start recognizing the core issue, start being less needy irl and when you have more positive reactions, plant those good seeds in your mind and slowly overtime your belief system will start to change.
While if you fail during the self actualisation, don't ever self attack constantly. Identify, acknowledge, clarify by taking actions, reinforce, nourish your mind constantly