I get urges to manipulate people and I genuinely get gratification seeing chaos caused by me pulling people's strings (Extremely power hungry feeling). This is just something that naturally comes with being highly empathetic. The way I manage those feelings is through light-hearted trolling and just understanding people and shifting them in a more positive direction. I completely understand how consequential and destructive having that can be, but it can also be a good thing. If I were to add to the video, the problem with the shadow is when it's unfocused. I don't like the word control because we can't control those feelings., they're burned into all of our DNA (Both men and women). What we can do is focus that to work for us rather than against us. Amazing topic and well spoken video!
Have you completed the Myers-Briggs personality test before? According to what you wrote in your opening paragraph, you may be INTF. My partner is, and he enjoys manipulating people in this manner.
Manipulation comes from a powerlesness to be able to meet your needs in a direct manner. Control over others is a way to balance out the lack of control within.
I'm a girl, this is definetely important for some women too, I so completely relate to the repressed rage and having it come out in bitter passive aggressive ways. Thank you
I love these deep topics, so please, do more of these types of videos! I think there are so many men who are in such deep pain, including myself, who are just craving this knowledge to free themselves and their dark masculine nature from our own inner, mental, emotional imprisonment. Thank you so much for the work that you do! Looking forward to more of these videos, Damian.
The most dangerous part of going to darkness is nerve coming back to your soft masculine side, many people stuck there, that is why Carl Jung said be masculine to your dark side.
I am very interested in this topic because i think that all our problems are tied of suppressed inner child and dark masculine, we detach of those two entities within us and become shells.
LOVE this youtube video. I am a female and trying to access my own dark masculine so i can be a more fully intergrate being on this crazy planet. i expect i avoid physcally engaging in body work because all my rage is locked in there and as an adolescent (many years ago now) i was one very angry young woman. might try dancing this one out and see how i go. thanks for this. ***** 🙂
This is such a fundamental piece for men today. If a man gets everything in their life right but fails this, then it will be as though they got nothing right at all -- that's how fundamental this is. It's the masculine power core, the capacity to fight or f*ck. Your point about it being connected to anger/rage is right on the money. The times I've been able to fully embody this energy have been life changing, I've been treated very differently by both women and men (attraction and respect is boosted by an order of magnitude), and those times were always preceeded by an episode where I was able to tap into and give voice and expression to my deep rage. Sadly, while there has been a lot of material published on this, much of it is watered down and recycled. Have you created any other content around this topic? I would love to see more from you as your understanding of this is clearly deep. Also any resources you personally suggest around this I'm sure would be well received by many men including myself. I'll contribute this: I've found doing haka (the new zealand maori war dance) as a regular practice to be very effective because it is literally designed to tap into and embody this power, and provides a great cover story for what you're doing. Cheers!
This is the topic I choose for my Artwork: Kiss your darkside. Evey humans feel on crisis with all movement /gender problematic. We loose control of himself and want to hide our darkside and turn it in passive aggression. But the reality is, accept your darkside, embrace him for gain a positive attitude in your life you can never reach without. Stay strong guys !
Love it bro , nailed it , no surprise im sure haha This had been my go to pull for women since i started dating , im glad i met women who helped me develop that side of me, and the people around me got us in situations where that was useful. My dad said in his day they had army service , for me , i went out and lived with my flatmates who were older blokes and essentially grew up. Learning how to use that power though, didnt come till my 30s . Its good now, as you say , available on tap when the situation calls for it .
I´m a woman and don´t find it triggering at all. I´m glad you´re talking about a topic that is not talked about enough. You are completely right about the importance for men to embrace and control their dark masculine energy. (Even for women, we also have testosterone and need this energy to push through hard work outs and compete in sports. Although we don´t have those wicked ideas you talk about during our younger years 😄)
Going to a lot metal and hardcore shows to mosh was such a fun outlet for me; it's a shame this pandemic is preventing that now. I could definitely use some more practical ways to tap into that extreme aggression though lol
I just can't help but smirk when hearing Damien's intrusive thoughts and violent fantasies. I agree when it comes to acknowledging and accepting the Jungian shadow. In dating, and in life in general, it is actually very helpful to stand up for yourself. It seems to me that the psychological shadow is a way that this strength can manifest.
As a writer, I use my dark masculine to create characters in stories that are dark, violent and cruel, and I know I do this because if I didn't they wouldn't be as sadistic. I mention this because there's some scientific evidence to suggest that even if you aren't a writer taking time to express your emotions through writing can be cathartic. So, even if you don't fancy writing novels or poetry, try writing stuff down. I mean, you can always burn it afterwards if you don't want people to read it. Alternatively, you could use it to have a conversation with your partner or someone else you find it hard to speak to about your dark thoughts. Or you could just stick to punching a punchbag.
I enjoyed this video on dark masculine. I want you to do another video on the same sharing few experiences and examples and few exercises that you pactice to come into awareness of it. Thank you😊
Really enjoyed this explanation Damien. If possible kindly do a deep dive into developing one’s Masculine Essence in a world where women are able to look after their financial needs. I have tried to learn from David Deida and I feel you would have an interesting take on the topic
This isn't an easy topic to cover but I'm so happy you had the courage to do it. I have some concerns about the presentation though. Viewers tend to hear what they want to hear and not what you say so everything you say on this topic can and will be used against you out of context. Your presentation focuses on empowerment and intensity which is very fitting for the topic but I believe that it would be both you and your lesser developed viewers if you would tackle this topic from a controlled angle and with a focus on understanding and acceptance. Still a great video with a ton of valueble information. Here are some points from that video that are very valuable: -It's normal to have rape fantasies, they are common with both genders. -There is nothing wrong with having dark fantasies as long as you don't act them out without consent. -You shouldn't bar off and feel ashamed of what you are. -Understanding and accepting yourself can help you become a better version of yourself.
The balance I was working to strike was 1) Not making the video too long - 2) Not trying to be apologetic about what I Was saying - I wanted to be clear there was no shame around the things I was addressing - and trying to clarify too much would suggets I Was worried about being misinterpreted. But yes it is definitely a complex area that some guy can (and will) misinterpret.
@@SchoolOfAttraction I agree, that message is very important. The perspective I'm coming from is that I want you to get "big" because you've got great quality content that is both helpful and something many guys need to hear. The problem with "getting big" though is that people will look for reasons to attack or "cancel" you and misinterpreting this message is a great way to do that. If your angle is to help everyone understand this problem and not only men that have felt this than you would have a more solid ground to defend your argument on. I'm sorry if I'm getting ahead of myself but I really want this message heard without it being shut down.
As a woman, let me just say HELL YES and THANK YOU. I think women fear the dark masculine and try to shame and control it out of men, but then if they succeed... they end up feeling turned off and grossed out and frustrated that suddenly they have to hold some of the masculine polarity... and even unsafe because the man is weak. There is this idea that women like assholes... we don't, but "assholes" or 'bad boys" are usually at least expressing that erotic dark masculine energy. Just not usually in an integrated, conscious way. So a lot of women seem to go back and forth between a safe unsexy man and an unsafe sexy man. But really, just like you said, we want both! Honestly, pretty sure a lot of women are dying of thirst for it.
This is amazing content. Thank you so much for putting it out there like that, it really helped me understanding what was missing from my masculin self and allow myself to express that dark badass side of me. Fuckin' love it.
Great follow up from the last Vid mate this is a topic I'm heavily exploring at the moment. Would love more content on this. I just would like to say for people to read "Owning my own Shadow" and "King, Worrior, Magician, Lover". Both these books are really good books. Also try 3,2,1 shadow work mind blowing.
I completely agree with what's being said here, but I also don't feel like it totally addresses the fear you can't control it. Like for example, I have certain dark fantasies I embrace in one corner of my mind that I'm okay with their existence because I either know they won't go out of control or don't care given the situation they'd be acted upon would be justified (say in the case of self-defense, assuming they acted out in the way they did in my head, which they probably wouldn't). But in the other, I've got other fantasies that I fear that acting upon them would reveal a complete lack of control, in that I end up losing myself in the moment and going farther than desired. I get that women find that sexy, but I've gotta imagine they've also got limits too, and those are the very things I (and I imagine others like me) become anxious of crossing. Especially with that empathetic part just saying "this is bad, and you don't know how to handle yourself even for the ones who want it like that." Perhaps I missed the point of the video, but what about the people who are afraid of going forward and finding out the brakes are broken and end up marring someone else in the process?
Well I didn't mean to suggest that your dark masculine space absolves you of feeling fear - that wasn't what I intended to say at any rate ;) Merely that many of the tpyical moments men feel fear with women "approaching, flirting, making a move etc" these moments the fear doesn't really have much effect when you're deeply connected to yur dark masculine. In your situation - one of the things that a man in one of my mens group did was discover that the 'fear' point between losing control could be one of the most sexually charged experiecnes when with a woman who has clear communication and boundaries. He found it became intensely erotic to feel like he might lose all control.
I never experienced any shame or felt pressure by society to bury your dark side. Either your dark thoughts are against the law, then control these urges. If they are within the law, then the thoughts are likely not 'dark'. I am never angry, so I can't really relate anyway. Maybe I should stop meditating 😂
Love this, please do more videos on this topic Damien. Also if you can give recommendations on specific books / courses on this topic would be awesome.
Man i actually been looking for a course just like this to awaken and harness divine masculinity and shadow work and spirituality stuff. Would be helpful if you csn refer some books, exercises, courses on this. Or make your own course on this topic. It deeply resonates with my soul.
As a women that is the most accurate thing, it's the same as what Jordan Paterson says, an attractive man is a man who is dangerous and capable of danger but is able to control it, because women are able to feel those enegeries. These are the most attractive type of men but I wanted to ask you what is the equivalent of making a women attractive is it also she dangerous and in control or is a women who is very feminine?
YES! I think when I can see a 'dangerous' look in a womans eyes... like she can be wild and chaotic and unpredictable and exicting and 'dangerous' in that way - but she elects to be nice to me (for now at least as long as she chooses to)... thats sexy AF.
Great content, until now I have not seen any other channel that goes deep into this topic along with atracction at the same time I always recommend reading to Carl Jung as well, he was the principal creator of this theory
what is that feeling when youre in situations that you should be scared or feel fear but you just dont care. completely numb but ready to unleash hell at any moment and enjoy it.
From what I've researched, the feeling of becoming completely numb is a defense mechanism that some people develop during development. It's usually people that went through some kind of trauma during childhood and the body learned to shut down the feelings because it couldn't handle them. I experience this myself and it helped me a lot to accept and understand this part of me. Understanding it gave me the power to use it when it is useful and try to stop it when it is unhealthy. Hope that helps.
Very interesting video, what ways you would you recommend a young man (early 20s) to deal with their dark masculine in a healthy way to improve your overall attractiveness and mental health outside working out
Nice, this actually got asked above, so I'll copy my answer here as well: although I always advice dealing with the rage part first - Some things I used to do - If I was sitting somewhere (on a train or bus for example) and there was an attractive woman - I'd sit there and intensely feel my desire for her as strongly as possible - I wouldn't stare at her or try to get eye contact or anything - I'd just focus on the intensity of that desire and really bring it to the front - and appreciate that feeling and accept it and enjoy it without any shame. Something else I'd do would be when flirting with women - I'd begin mentally practicing picturing how she'd move in bed - what her bedroom eyes would look like - how her neck would smell as I bit her passionately. All the while talking and flirting normally. This was huge because often I Was scared of women 'sensing' these thoughts inside of me so I'd bury them. Forcing them to the frontline was very confronting.... Interstingly - even though I'd sware I did nothing differently, women started getting more sexual around me after doing this.
As an Australian mature normal young man myself born in 1998 from Lakemba, New South Wales, Australia personally have nothing against masculinity because I believe machismo and masculinity are different from each other. Machismo is abusive and toxic & masculinity is about courage & protection for example take firefighters who are brave & tough. Here are two video links below that explains the difference: Machismo Video: ruclips.net/video/fjo-hwAKcas/видео.html Masculinity Video: ruclips.net/video/TJ1NS_lHVok/видео.html
YES YES YES! The solidilty is which you speak with is sexy and I can see the work youv'e done. This speaks to me alot, I am a women, who is watching to be educated (as im in a relationship with a man). I would love him to embody this more! More videos would be amazing!
Working out and physical exertion are good tips, but what about any cognitive tips for embracing your shadow? Are there any mental exercises one can do when they notice dark thoughts are popping up?
Yes there definitely are - although I always advice dealing with the rage part first - Some things I used to do - If I was sitting somewhere (on a train or bus for example) and there was an attractive woman - I'd sit there and intensely feel my desire for her as strongly as possible - I wouldn't stare at her or try to get eye contact or anything - I'd just focus on the intensity of that desire and really bring it to the front - and appreciate that feeling and accept it and enjoy it without any shame. Something else I'd do would be when flirting with women - I'd begin mentally practicing picturing how she'd move in bed - what her bedroom eyes would look like - how her neck would smell as I bit her passionately. All the while talking and flirting normally. This was huge because often I Was scared of women 'sensing' these thoughts inside of me so I'd bury them. Forcing them to the frontline was very confronting.... Interstingly - even though I'd sware I did nothing differently, women started getting more sexual around me after doing this.
Idk... kids are able to access their dark masculine when they are angry and they act it out in very harmful manners. I think its more about acknowlwdging the feelings and then seeking its middle path instead of endulging in them by pressing weights at the gym. When you do that you still haven't used its energy to solve the thing you were angry about. And even more so... you haven't explored the pain underneath that anger.
So dark energy can be poorly regulated - like violent or sexually aggressive men - it's not about getting it out of your system so much as having a healthy relationship with that part of yourself rather than burying all teh dark feelings deep deep inside. We have a issue right now taht boys aren't being taught that it's okay to feel these feelings - becuase it IS OKAY - but they need ot learn to feel them but still behave appropriately toward other people. Instead, we have repressed males acting out is toxic ways becuase they never learned that it was in fact okay to have these feelings.
I have a client who wants to feel sexier, more confident and align his hear with his eros. I have suggested he befriend his rage, punch the bag, accept this aspect of himself and give it an outlet. He said said in the past when he used to punch the bag to release stress and anger, he feels that his aggression actually increased. His outbursts became more frequent. So he stopped and went more into meditation tactics to "manage" his impulsive anger. I suggested that he has done a lot of personal growth work (breathwork, dance, ice baths, plant medicine) and that he might consider trying again. What would you say to him? Curious to know your thoughts about his concern.
Interesting for your clientt specifically - as you suggested with im - usually finding a good rage outlet helps to channel the rage and prevent outbursts.. witthout knowing anything about him I would have assumed he had a whole tonne of unmanaged rage that he was holding back by avoiding any kind of outbreak, and when he burst tthe dam so to speak, just boxing wasn't enoiugh when he tried it. I think your feedback about trying again could be worth iht for him - depending on teh work he's done.... Rage always has a source - usually frustrattion/resentment somewhere - so that needs to be his port of call to disabling the source of his desire to lash out. I usually don't see rage as the problem but the symptom, so I'd be looking for the cause as well - but you may, or he may have already done that with his breathwork/dance/ etc... Hard to say witthout talking to him.
So in conclusion as humans we are told to not embrace our dark side and to suppress it. I wonder why? Obviously if you have a healthy relationship with yourself it won't be damaging to show your dark side or maybe I am wrong,idk. What do you think? I think the unhealthy relationship,let's say men, have with their dark side is what leads to wars and violence🤷♀️ I am honestly curious about other's opinions so feel free to reply
Yeah I mean you sort of said why... Unhealthy relationships to our darkness create not jsut wars, but abuse, domestic violence, child abuse, general violence in public, verbal assault etc. So societies see this toxic fallout and mistakenly blame masculinity rather than having a healthy relationship with your masculinity.
@@SchoolOfAttraction exactly but if we know that suppressing leads to all these things then why are people (mostly men) told to not embrace it?Someone wants this chaos to be happening or am I thinking too much about this?😅
No - what I Was saying above was that most people look at toxic fall out and they think "clearly this is unhealthy - we'd better push men to bury large sections of their masculinty to protect society". I mean... this toxic stuff isn't caused directly by suppression... It's like having a pitbul dog - if you abuse it, it can turn into a dangerous menace to society - if instead you nurture it, it can turn into a beautiful family pet who wouldn't hurt a baby. It's still a pitbull - it feels no shame about who or what it is, if someone attacked the baby in your family the pitbull would probably tear them limb from limb. But the rest of the time, and to regular people, it's perfectly safe. Society as a whole doesn't understand masculinity - so the feminists try to tell men what masculinity is supposed ot be - that that's just inappropriate. We men have to help each other. And men who have been abused and have no control over the dangerous sides of their masculinity need to be reined in and supported by otehr men.
@@SchoolOfAttraction 'Society as a whole doesn't understand masculinity ' wow I've never thought about that. Anyway thank you. Not only did my standards for men went up but also this motivated me to work on myself even more😅💕
I wish I did - some of the books would be things like way of the superior man - the way of men - iron john.. but the courses themselves don't exist anymore - I first got heavily into this when I was about 23 - I'm 40 now, so a lot of what was around then has evolved/changed.
Thanks again, Damian.. I've recently come to realize that I need to work on my shadow.. I recall you in another video mentioned books you would suggest reading.. One of the books I believe was called "Shadow work", but I forgot the name of the author.. Could you help me by confirming the name and the author of that book..?
Thanks for your answer.. Could be that one... I just believe Damian said in the other video that the book was called "Shadow work" (or "works"), but I'm not 100 % sure either.. 😅 However, there are several books from different authors that bears the name "Shadow work"..
Oh, to clarify, this IS Damien here ;) But uh - Yeah I don't remember exactly which book it was I'm sorry, there are a few good ones and I keep trying new ones after that too.
Hi Damian. Yeah, wasn't sure whether it was you or one of your coaches who replied before 🙂 But since "Owning your own shadow" is one book which you would recommend, it will definitely be my next book to read (when I'm done with "How to win friends and influence people").
Hrm... I tend to also recommend "Models" by Mark Manson and "No More Mr Nice Guy" by Robert Glover - Neither of these is specifically about dark masculine but they usually still help set a good stage for dark masculine to arise. "Iron John" is highly recommended for men - although it never really resonated for me.
in psychedelic experience you coud definetly have meeiting some shadow side of your self and it some times potrays it self this supe masculine fiigure like duke nukem or something like this and those kins a meetings are some times so profoundly dfucult and you learn about your truell twisted sexual side so fuking mysterious and beautiful
I have been going into dark form my shadow form helps liberate my mind from my abuse and being molested growing up so it does also ward off any other people I do not want to be around me and also ward off women in my city because of 90% of them are hoes and tend to play me and try to get in my pants and no I'm not gay I just don't get in relationships because ot the abuse and being cheated on. I've embraced my dark side to protect myself from people and I am so done with relationships because of the bullshit and I don't want to hear you'll find the right one well I always find the wrong one it's old and grey.
Hey bud, oh I go through a LOT of books.. about 1 a week since I Was 20 (I'm 38 now) - A lot of hte dark masuline stuff is from a combination of in-person courses I've done and books I've read, and conversations I've had over the years. There really aren't a tonne of good books on this topic specifically that I've found.
Another one of those "to be a man you have to do this" and "women want this/that" videos. If you ever hear these words from any youtuber just click away.
I get urges to manipulate people and I genuinely get gratification seeing chaos caused by me pulling people's strings (Extremely power hungry feeling). This is just something that naturally comes with being highly empathetic. The way I manage those feelings is through light-hearted trolling and just understanding people and shifting them in a more positive direction. I completely understand how consequential and destructive having that can be, but it can also be a good thing.
If I were to add to the video, the problem with the shadow is when it's unfocused. I don't like the word control because we can't control those feelings., they're burned into all of our DNA (Both men and women). What we can do is focus that to work for us rather than against us. Amazing topic and well spoken video!
Yeah correct - maybe control is the wrong word - but work WITH not try to hide from it and get controlled by it.
Have you completed the Myers-Briggs personality test before? According to what you wrote in your opening paragraph, you may be INTF. My partner is, and he enjoys manipulating people in this manner.
Manipulation comes from a powerlesness to be able to meet your needs in a direct manner.
Control over others is a way to balance out the lack of control within.
I'm a girl, this is definetely important for some women too, I so completely relate to the repressed rage and having it come out in bitter passive aggressive ways. Thank you
We have to heal and be with our dark feminine.
@@Shaa-Belle oh exactly the same we all have both energies within us .redefine what womanhood means just be yourself !
@@Shaa-Belle access you dark feminity it's been helping me as well as masculinity ... All is good.
I love these deep topics, so please, do more of these types of videos! I think there are so many men who are in such deep pain, including myself, who are just craving this knowledge to free themselves and their dark masculine nature from our own inner, mental, emotional imprisonment.
Thank you so much for the work that you do!
Looking forward to more of these videos, Damian.
Cheers bud!
Man, this is exactly what i need, as always the best content out there on youtube about this topic
Thanks so much mate!
The most dangerous part of going to darkness is nerve coming back to your soft masculine side, many people stuck there, that is why Carl Jung said be masculine to your dark side.
I am very interested in this topic because i think that all our problems are tied of suppressed inner child and dark masculine, we detach of those two entities within us and become shells.
Yeah absolutely - and the only way our inner child ever comes out is when it's time to have a tantrum :/
LOVE this youtube video. I am a female and trying to access my own dark masculine so i can be a more fully intergrate being on this crazy planet. i expect i avoid physcally engaging in body work because all my rage is locked in there and as an adolescent (many years ago now) i was one very angry young woman. might try dancing this one out and see how i go. thanks for this. ***** 🙂
This is such a fundamental piece for men today. If a man gets everything in their life right but fails this, then it will be as though they got nothing right at all -- that's how fundamental this is. It's the masculine power core, the capacity to fight or f*ck. Your point about it being connected to anger/rage is right on the money. The times I've been able to fully embody this energy have been life changing, I've been treated very differently by both women and men (attraction and respect is boosted by an order of magnitude), and those times were always preceeded by an episode where I was able to tap into and give voice and expression to my deep rage. Sadly, while there has been a lot of material published on this, much of it is watered down and recycled. Have you created any other content around this topic? I would love to see more from you as your understanding of this is clearly deep. Also any resources you personally suggest around this I'm sure would be well received by many men including myself. I'll contribute this: I've found doing haka (the new zealand maori war dance) as a regular practice to be very effective because it is literally designed to tap into and embody this power, and provides a great cover story for what you're doing. Cheers!
Yeah I've often thought the Haka looked perfect for connecting to your dark masculine!
I agree with the women's comments. Dark masculinity also applies to women
This is the topic I choose for my Artwork: Kiss your darkside.
Evey humans feel on crisis with all movement /gender problematic. We loose control of himself and want to hide our darkside and turn it in passive aggression. But the reality is, accept your darkside, embrace him for gain a positive attitude in your life you can never reach without. Stay strong guys !
Love it bro , nailed it , no surprise im sure haha
This had been my go to pull for women since i started dating , im glad i met women who helped me develop that side of me, and the people around me got us in situations where that was useful.
My dad said in his day they had army service , for me , i went out and lived with my flatmates who were older blokes and essentially grew up.
Learning how to use that power though, didnt come till my 30s .
Its good now, as you say , available on tap when the situation calls for it .
I´m a woman and don´t find it triggering at all. I´m glad you´re talking about a topic that is not talked about enough. You are completely right about the importance for men to embrace and control their dark masculine energy. (Even for women, we also have testosterone and need this energy to push through hard work outs and compete in sports. Although we don´t have those wicked ideas you talk about during our younger years 😄)
Going to a lot metal and hardcore shows to mosh was such a fun outlet for me; it's a shame this pandemic is preventing that now. I could definitely use some more practical ways to tap into that extreme aggression though lol
I just can't help but smirk when hearing Damien's intrusive thoughts and violent fantasies.
I agree when it comes to acknowledging and accepting the Jungian shadow. In dating, and in life in general, it is actually very helpful to stand up for yourself. It seems to me that the psychological shadow is a way that this strength can manifest.
Yeah thats helpful im just have a huge Dark Masculine Side - i wanna embrace and drive it
As a writer, I use my dark masculine to create characters in stories that are dark, violent and cruel, and I know I do this because if I didn't they wouldn't be as sadistic. I mention this because there's some scientific evidence to suggest that even if you aren't a writer taking time to express your emotions through writing can be cathartic. So, even if you don't fancy writing novels or poetry, try writing stuff down. I mean, you can always burn it afterwards if you don't want people to read it. Alternatively, you could use it to have a conversation with your partner or someone else you find it hard to speak to about your dark thoughts. Or you could just stick to punching a punchbag.
Yes I'm a huge fan of journalling actuallly - it has been a punching bag replaecment many times.
I enjoyed this video on dark masculine. I want you to do another video on the same sharing few experiences and examples and few exercises that you pactice to come into awareness of it. Thank you😊
Yeah this is actually one of my favouirte topics - and hard to know how much people wnat to hear on youtube about it.
Thanks for this wake up call
You're welcome Ruud
Video games bring out my rage. Like when I consistently die. Then I feel ashamed of having that rage, so I switch the game off.
True
Very interesting topic indeed... Great video Damien!
Theers Matthew!
Love this, would love to know more. Thank you
Really enjoyed this explanation Damien. If possible kindly do a deep dive into developing one’s Masculine Essence in a world where women are able to look after their financial needs. I have tried to learn from David Deida and I feel you would have an interesting take on the topic
I liked the video and I have been working om integrating my shadow. Thank you and I would like to hear more on the topic.
Cheesr Lou, yeah I definitely will be!
This isn't an easy topic to cover but I'm so happy you had the courage to do it. I have some concerns about the presentation though. Viewers tend to hear what they want to hear and not what you say so everything you say on this topic can and will be used against you out of context. Your presentation focuses on empowerment and intensity which is very fitting for the topic but I believe that it would be both you and your lesser developed viewers if you would tackle this topic from a controlled angle and with a focus on understanding and acceptance. Still a great video with a ton of valueble information. Here are some points from that video that are very valuable:
-It's normal to have rape fantasies, they are common with both genders.
-There is nothing wrong with having dark fantasies as long as you don't act them out without consent.
-You shouldn't bar off and feel ashamed of what you are.
-Understanding and accepting yourself can help you become a better version of yourself.
The balance I was working to strike was 1) Not making the video too long - 2) Not trying to be apologetic about what I Was saying - I wanted to be clear there was no shame around the things I was addressing - and trying to clarify too much would suggets I Was worried about being misinterpreted. But yes it is definitely a complex area that some guy can (and will) misinterpret.
@@SchoolOfAttraction I agree, that message is very important. The perspective I'm coming from is that I want you to get "big" because you've got great quality content that is both helpful and something many guys need to hear. The problem with "getting big" though is that people will look for reasons to attack or "cancel" you and misinterpreting this message is a great way to do that. If your angle is to help everyone understand this problem and not only men that have felt this than you would have a more solid ground to defend your argument on. I'm sorry if I'm getting ahead of myself but I really want this message heard without it being shut down.
Go to an anger room or to a valley ... And throw things with angry music it's awesome af.
Yep, these are so amazing! I recommend them quite often
Love this topic! Would definitely welcome more videos of this nature.
More to come!
Good healthy masculinity with respect and honor.
Thanks. Right on the money. Please keep sharing your insight on the topic.
As a woman, let me just say HELL YES and THANK YOU. I think women fear the dark masculine and try to shame and control it out of men, but then if they succeed... they end up feeling turned off and grossed out and frustrated that suddenly they have to hold some of the masculine polarity... and even unsafe because the man is weak. There is this idea that women like assholes... we don't, but "assholes" or 'bad boys" are usually at least expressing that erotic dark masculine energy. Just not usually in an integrated, conscious way. So a lot of women seem to go back and forth between a safe unsexy man and an unsafe sexy man. But really, just like you said, we want both! Honestly, pretty sure a lot of women are dying of thirst for it.
This is a Brilliant commont Laruen - would you mind if I referenced it in one of my future vidoes?
@@SchoolOfAttraction please do!! I'm glad you get it. Thanks for such a refreshing video! 🙌
This is amazing content. Thank you so much for putting it out there like that, it really helped me understanding what was missing from my masculin self and allow myself to express that dark badass side of me. Fuckin' love it.
You're the first one I found talking about it, and you've awesome!
Hey, thanks!
Great video! I'd love it if you made more about this topic.
Great follow up from the last Vid mate this is a topic I'm heavily exploring at the moment. Would love more content on this. I just would like to say for people to read "Owning my own Shadow" and "King, Worrior, Magician, Lover". Both these books are really good books. Also try 3,2,1 shadow work mind blowing.
Yeah there are some great books out there on these topics
Keep it up Damien. 💪
It was most influential video I've seen on your channel so far.
Cheers Benn, I appreicate it bud!
Great video lad, love to see more
Relatable
If RUclips is too PG for the content then I'm even more interested
I completely agree with what's being said here, but I also don't feel like it totally addresses the fear you can't control it. Like for example, I have certain dark fantasies I embrace in one corner of my mind that I'm okay with their existence because I either know they won't go out of control or don't care given the situation they'd be acted upon would be justified (say in the case of self-defense, assuming they acted out in the way they did in my head, which they probably wouldn't). But in the other, I've got other fantasies that I fear that acting upon them would reveal a complete lack of control, in that I end up losing myself in the moment and going farther than desired. I get that women find that sexy, but I've gotta imagine they've also got limits too, and those are the very things I (and I imagine others like me) become anxious of crossing. Especially with that empathetic part just saying "this is bad, and you don't know how to handle yourself even for the ones who want it like that."
Perhaps I missed the point of the video, but what about the people who are afraid of going forward and finding out the brakes are broken and end up marring someone else in the process?
Well I didn't mean to suggest that your dark masculine space absolves you of feeling fear - that wasn't what I intended to say at any rate ;) Merely that many of the tpyical moments men feel fear with women "approaching, flirting, making a move etc" these moments the fear doesn't really have much effect when you're deeply connected to yur dark masculine. In your situation - one of the things that a man in one of my mens group did was discover that the 'fear' point between losing control could be one of the most sexually charged experiecnes when with a woman who has clear communication and boundaries. He found it became intensely erotic to feel like he might lose all control.
spot on
Very interesting topic. Would love to see more videos on it 👍
Cheers Lewis ;)
women have those twisted thoughts as well! don’t be ashamed!
I never experienced any shame or felt pressure by society to bury your dark side. Either your dark thoughts are against the law, then control these urges. If they are within the law, then the thoughts are likely not 'dark'. I am never angry, so I can't really relate anyway. Maybe I should stop meditating 😂
Love this, please do more videos on this topic Damien. Also if you can give recommendations on specific books / courses on this topic would be awesome.
Will do!
@@SchoolOfAttraction Bro??
Man i actually been looking for a course just like this to awaken and harness divine masculinity and shadow work and spirituality stuff.
Would be helpful if you csn refer some books, exercises, courses on this. Or make your own course on this topic.
It deeply resonates with my soul.
Thank you! I'm actually working on my own course on this!
As a women that is the most accurate thing, it's the same as what Jordan Paterson says, an attractive man is a man who is dangerous and capable of danger but is able to control it, because women are able to feel those enegeries. These are the most attractive type of men but I wanted to ask you what is the equivalent of making a women attractive is it also she dangerous and in control or is a women who is very feminine?
YES! I think when I can see a 'dangerous' look in a womans eyes... like she can be wild and chaotic and unpredictable and exicting and 'dangerous' in that way - but she elects to be nice to me (for now at least as long as she chooses to)... thats sexy AF.
ALWAYS ASK PERMISSION BEFORE TOUCHING OR KISSING A WOMAN. GENTLEMEN LISTEN TO ME!
I think this topic was pretty revealing but i think more videos would help understand better
Definitely - getting lots of requesnts for more videos on this topic
If I could like this 1k times i would. Where did u get this concept from? Any author/book to recommend???
Look into Shadow Work by Carl Jung
Great content, until now I have not seen any other channel that goes deep into this topic along with atracction at the same time
I always recommend reading to Carl Jung as well, he was the principal creator of this theory
YES! I'm a huge Carl Jung fan.
wow. super important info.
Thank you!
Please make more of these!
what is that feeling when youre in situations that you should be scared or feel fear but you just dont care. completely numb but ready to unleash hell at any moment and enjoy it.
From what I've researched, the feeling of becoming completely numb is a defense mechanism that some people develop during development. It's usually people that went through some kind of trauma during childhood and the body learned to shut down the feelings because it couldn't handle them. I experience this myself and it helped me a lot to accept and understand this part of me. Understanding it gave me the power to use it when it is useful and try to stop it when it is unhealthy. Hope that helps.
gg666123456 that was very helpful thank you 🙏🏾
You should make more videos on Shadow Work!
Cheers, I might just ;)
Excellent content, more please.
More to come!
Great video really appreciate this content
My pleasure!
Very interesting video, what ways you would you recommend a young man (early 20s) to deal with their dark masculine in a healthy way to improve your overall attractiveness and mental health outside working out
Nice, this actually got asked above, so I'll copy my answer here as well: although I always advice dealing with the rage part first - Some things I used to do - If I was sitting somewhere (on a train or bus for example) and there was an attractive woman - I'd sit there and intensely feel my desire for her as strongly as possible - I wouldn't stare at her or try to get eye contact or anything - I'd just focus on the intensity of that desire and really bring it to the front - and appreciate that feeling and accept it and enjoy it without any shame.
Something else I'd do would be when flirting with women - I'd begin mentally practicing picturing how she'd move in bed - what her bedroom eyes would look like - how her neck would smell as I bit her passionately. All the while talking and flirting normally. This was huge because often I Was scared of women 'sensing' these thoughts inside of me so I'd bury them. Forcing them to the frontline was very confronting.... Interstingly - even though I'd sware I did nothing differently, women started getting more sexual around me after doing this.
Hmm tanya
As an Australian mature normal young man myself born in 1998 from Lakemba, New South Wales, Australia personally have nothing against masculinity because I believe machismo and masculinity are different from each other. Machismo is abusive and toxic & masculinity is about courage & protection for example take firefighters who are brave & tough. Here are two video links below that explains the difference:
Machismo Video: ruclips.net/video/fjo-hwAKcas/видео.html
Masculinity Video: ruclips.net/video/TJ1NS_lHVok/видео.html
I'd like to hear more content like this
Cheers Adam!
I love my dark side and I embrace it... I love that I can turn it off and on at will.
The dark masculine will attract the hottest girls and the wildest hook-ups..
YES YES YES!
The solidilty is which you speak with is sexy and I can see the work youv'e done.
This speaks to me alot, I am a women, who is watching to be educated (as im in a relationship with a man).
I would love him to embody this more!
More videos would be amazing!
THANK YOU BROTHER!
Thank you!
YES.
Awesome! Love those bad boys!
Working out and physical exertion are good tips, but what about any cognitive tips for embracing your shadow? Are there any mental exercises one can do when they notice dark thoughts are popping up?
Yes there definitely are - although I always advice dealing with the rage part first - Some things I used to do - If I was sitting somewhere (on a train or bus for example) and there was an attractive woman - I'd sit there and intensely feel my desire for her as strongly as possible - I wouldn't stare at her or try to get eye contact or anything - I'd just focus on the intensity of that desire and really bring it to the front - and appreciate that feeling and accept it and enjoy it without any shame.
Something else I'd do would be when flirting with women - I'd begin mentally practicing picturing how she'd move in bed - what her bedroom eyes would look like - how her neck would smell as I bit her passionately. All the while talking and flirting normally. This was huge because often I Was scared of women 'sensing' these thoughts inside of me so I'd bury them. Forcing them to the frontline was very confronting.... Interstingly - even though I'd sware I did nothing differently, women started getting more sexual around me after doing this.
@@SchoolOfAttraction Thank you for the detailed response, this is very helpful!
Idk... kids are able to access their dark masculine when they are angry and they act it out in very harmful manners.
I think its more about acknowlwdging the feelings and then seeking its middle path instead of endulging in them by pressing weights at the gym. When you do that you still haven't used its energy to solve the thing you were angry about. And even more so... you haven't explored the pain underneath that anger.
So dark energy can be poorly regulated - like violent or sexually aggressive men - it's not about getting it out of your system so much as having a healthy relationship with that part of yourself rather than burying all teh dark feelings deep deep inside.
We have a issue right now taht boys aren't being taught that it's okay to feel these feelings - becuase it IS OKAY - but they need ot learn to feel them but still behave appropriately toward other people. Instead, we have repressed males acting out is toxic ways becuase they never learned that it was in fact okay to have these feelings.
Love this
Maybe women need to embrace their dark masculine. We would be attacked and injured less, maybe.
I have a client who wants to feel sexier, more confident and align his hear with his eros. I have suggested he befriend his rage, punch the bag, accept this aspect of himself and give it an outlet. He said said in the past when he used to punch the bag to release stress and anger, he feels that his aggression actually increased. His outbursts became more frequent. So he stopped and went more into meditation tactics to "manage" his impulsive anger. I suggested that he has done a lot of personal growth work (breathwork, dance, ice baths, plant medicine) and that he might consider trying again. What would you say to him? Curious to know your thoughts about his concern.
Interesting for your clientt specifically - as you suggested with im - usually finding a good rage outlet helps to channel the rage and prevent outbursts.. witthout knowing anything about him I would have assumed he had a whole tonne of unmanaged rage that he was holding back by avoiding any kind of outbreak, and when he burst tthe dam so to speak, just boxing wasn't enoiugh when he tried it.
I think your feedback about trying again could be worth iht for him - depending on teh work he's done.... Rage always has a source - usually frustrattion/resentment somewhere - so that needs to be his port of call to disabling the source of his desire to lash out.
I usually don't see rage as the problem but the symptom, so I'd be looking for the cause as well - but you may, or he may have already done that with his breathwork/dance/ etc... Hard to say witthout talking to him.
Please understand that when women read romance fantasy, it is a fantasy. In real life, women would not choose someone like that.
Very spiritual quotes actually I am very spiritual and I do a lot of shadow work and I’m so grateful I am looking to wake up my sexual energy
I would love to see more like this.
I'd be interested in more videos on this topic
Awesome, there will definitely be more as I've had lots of requests now
Still waiting for a follow up, man
So in conclusion as humans we are told to not embrace our dark side and to suppress it. I wonder why? Obviously if you have a healthy relationship with yourself it won't be damaging to show your dark side or maybe I am wrong,idk. What do you think? I think the unhealthy relationship,let's say men, have with their dark side is what leads to wars and violence🤷♀️ I am honestly curious about other's opinions so feel free to reply
Yeah I mean you sort of said why... Unhealthy relationships to our darkness create not jsut wars, but abuse, domestic violence, child abuse, general violence in public, verbal assault etc. So societies see this toxic fallout and mistakenly blame masculinity rather than having a healthy relationship with your masculinity.
@@SchoolOfAttraction exactly but if we know that suppressing leads to all these things then why are people (mostly men) told to not embrace it?Someone wants this chaos to be happening or am I thinking too much about this?😅
No - what I Was saying above was that most people look at toxic fall out and they think "clearly this is unhealthy - we'd better push men to bury large sections of their masculinty to protect society". I mean... this toxic stuff isn't caused directly by suppression... It's like having a pitbul dog - if you abuse it, it can turn into a dangerous menace to society - if instead you nurture it, it can turn into a beautiful family pet who wouldn't hurt a baby. It's still a pitbull - it feels no shame about who or what it is, if someone attacked the baby in your family the pitbull would probably tear them limb from limb. But the rest of the time, and to regular people, it's perfectly safe.
Society as a whole doesn't understand masculinity - so the feminists try to tell men what masculinity is supposed ot be - that that's just inappropriate. We men have to help each other. And men who have been abused and have no control over the dangerous sides of their masculinity need to be reined in and supported by otehr men.
@@SchoolOfAttraction 'Society as a whole doesn't understand masculinity ' wow I've never thought about that. Anyway thank you. Not only did my standards for men went up but also this motivated me to work on myself even more😅💕
@@SchoolOfAttraction hey hey feminists doesnt care about the dark side unless it's uncontrolled
Do you have links or references for those courses and books you mentioned?
I wish I did - some of the books would be things like way of the superior man - the way of men - iron john.. but the courses themselves don't exist anymore - I first got heavily into this when I was about 23 - I'm 40 now, so a lot of what was around then has evolved/changed.
Thanks again, Damian.. I've recently come to realize that I need to work on my shadow.. I recall you in another video mentioned books you would suggest reading.. One of the books I believe was called "Shadow work", but I forgot the name of the author.. Could you help me by confirming the name and the author of that book..?
IT could have been a book named "owning your own shadow" by Johnson? I'm not 100% sure but that's a good book on teh topic...
Thanks for your answer.. Could be that one... I just believe Damian said in the other video that the book was called "Shadow work" (or "works"), but I'm not 100 % sure either.. 😅 However, there are several books from different authors that bears the name "Shadow work"..
Oh, to clarify, this IS Damien here ;) But uh - Yeah I don't remember exactly which book it was I'm sorry, there are a few good ones and I keep trying new ones after that too.
Hi Damian. Yeah, wasn't sure whether it was you or one of your coaches who replied before 🙂 But since "Owning your own shadow" is one book which you would recommend, it will definitely be my next book to read (when I'm done with "How to win friends and influence people").
loveeeeeeee it
any recommendation after Ive read the way of the superior man?
Hrm... I tend to also recommend "Models" by Mark Manson and "No More Mr Nice Guy" by Robert Glover - Neither of these is specifically about dark masculine but they usually still help set a good stage for dark masculine to arise.
"Iron John" is highly recommended for men - although it never really resonated for me.
in psychedelic experience you coud definetly have meeiting some shadow side of your self and it some times potrays it self this supe masculine fiigure like duke nukem or something like this and those kins a meetings are some times so profoundly dfucult and you learn about your truell twisted sexual side so fuking mysterious and beautiful
I can connect the Dark feminine with Chaos but cannot connect Dark masculine with order! how that happens?
Dark masculine energy is connected to tyranny or destruction, pure aggressive unyielding force with no empathy.
Hey Damien, what books would you recommend on this topic?
Way of the superior man would be my first go to for sure!
@@SchoolOfAttraction just finished that one. Though, I didn't notice much about dark masculinity there, more about general goal in life...
⭐️
Fight club ?
I have been going into dark form my shadow form helps liberate my mind from my abuse and being molested growing up so it does also ward off any other people I do not want to be around me and also ward off women in my city because of 90% of them are hoes and tend to play me and try to get in my pants and no I'm not gay I just don't get in relationships because ot the abuse and being cheated on. I've embraced my dark side to protect myself from people and I am so done with relationships because of the bullshit and I don't want to hear you'll find the right one well I always find the wrong one it's old and grey.
brother, what books do you read?
Hey bud, oh I go through a LOT of books.. about 1 a week since I Was 20 (I'm 38 now) - A lot of hte dark masuline stuff is from a combination of in-person courses I've done and books I've read, and conversations I've had over the years. There really aren't a tonne of good books on this topic specifically that I've found.
@@SchoolOfAttraction i can tell man. that question was rather rhetorical. good stuffs you have here, ill be following your synthesis. keep it up!
Another one of those "to be a man you have to do this" and "women want this/that" videos. If you ever hear these words from any youtuber just click away.