Go out with the intention of sharpening your social skills, and having new experiences. This way, you take the pressure of yourself, and know that it's a win no matter what happens. Getting more experience is the key.
I started this process about 10 months ago. One of your videos where you talked about socializing with everyone was super helpful. Early on I'd watch or listen to it over and over, in my car before going into social spaces. I made a conscious choice at that time to go out every single night to a social space, which eventually became bars/clubs. The anxiety is mostly long gone but I still feel awkward in those place. Some of the stuff still seems too overwhelming to attempt so far. But I can go in anywhere and feel at complete peace knowing I belong where ever I'm at, which is hugely different than before and for most of my life
I have A LOT of approach anxiety and my friends are all very shy/not confident so going out with them is a fun night but never around girls. since last summer i started out going alone and been getting more results by just going to the same dive bar consistently. I think the familiarity of the setting, knowing the bartenders and other regulars puts me at ease. I can immediately start a conversation with any of the regulars when there is a lull in activity or talk to the bartenders who i would consider all if not friends, at least good acquaintances.
Yeah, knowing some people even if they aren't friends makes hte whole process so much easier! Good on you for pushing yourself to just get active - it's not easy in the beginning.
Just a word. Dont be drunk as hell either and try to drive it’s not worth it. Get a taxi to go home and if one is not available and you have no friends near by then most bars out in the country will let you sober up in the parking lot in your car. At least that was my experience.
Going out to a bar on my own tonight for the first time. Dating is becoming more and more competitive these days, and I figured that if you don't make a move, not much will happen!
Well for me I go in there feeling confident at bars And also thinking like if I got it like that It helps a lot It works It doesn't matter how we look like You go in like that You are possibly golden
The trick is not going to the bar with the goal of hooking up. Your goal is just to have a good time and make new friends. If you’re going to a bar alone, you clearly need more friends. Also, one of the new female friends that you met at the bar, is most likely the one that will introduce you to your future girlfriend that was not at the bar.
Interestingly, I like doing the opposite, I find it much easeir to start approaching BEFORE things get crazy - once everything is busy and wild - I need momentum to keep going... Also before it gets wild, women are more chill aren't in crazy party mode.
I’ve always gone out alone, met most of the woman in my life that way…. It’s easy my man. 2 drinks and one solid rip of cannabis and boom 💥 were off! Easey peasey
Rejection is like crashing on a dirtbike. It’s going to happen. You gotta dust yourself off, and get back on the bike…Yes it sucks, makes ya feel shitty, but It’s guaranteed to happen, and you’ll never be where you wanna be if you cannot accept that.
Hey ! I have a question that might be wierd so if I approach a girl and I crash and burn then should I wait like 5 minutes or just take an other chance right away is it creepy or completely normal?
@@SchoolOfAttraction that's what I tought like it would come off creepy if I went just next like its tinder🤣. Next week I'm going out to a local club with the soul purpouse of trying to pick up girls or just generally talk to them at all this is the first time I'm doing this so I'm looking up every piece of info I can. I work with firearms while also doing college so the one line I always tell myself before an approach is "hey you are not afraid of a loaded ak-47 exploding in your face why are you afraid of a woman rejecting you" (the ak would probably hurt less🤣) so I'm really trying to feel this out I have tryed it befire when I was with friends but I never dedicated a whole night to this generally I'm a super shy lone wolf kinda guy and I want to sharpen my social skills as best as I can.
when you're in a new city or even your own, you have to do a little research into what bar you go to and WHEN. Too few people or too many people and TOO LOUD = not very good results. What kind of music, what kind of crowd is there. Ae the women going there just like you to meet other people and have some fun or just the same BS about "having a drink and not wanting to interact" (for that they could have stayed home and used a cucumber). Still, if you are in a new town and nobody knows you, you can experiment. Failure is OK as long as you learn something. But if in a foreign 3rd world country or in a US bar where some attractive women are unusually "attracted" to you, beware. Many good men have woken up with their credit cards maxed out, at best. And if in a foreign country. DEFINITELY don't drink anything served to you unless you've opened that can of beer yourself.... and never lose sight of it.
I was thinking about it, but the problem is - I don't drink alcohol, ever, and I can't stand crowds of people and loud music. Can this tactics be adapted to some lesser intensity and lesser alcohol consumption places? Or should I stick to the daygame?
So, I don't drink at all either - but I do understand that some guys just struggle with crowds , so then I'd nevre try to urge you towards bars. I can't really see this particualr strategy working elsewhere, becuase it requires the kind of vibe you get in bars to work.. Like I have strategies for at the beach for examplel - but most of my viewers don't go to the beach regularly. But just at a cafe or something - I can't see this kind of thing working so well.
I talk to girls :) Or if I'm just with friends, I talk to them. . Bars are just a social location - a spot for a group of people to gather... Sometimes I dont' want to be in my house all the time, so if I want to meet with 5 friends after work - a bar is a good place for it - espeically since my friends do drink.
@@SchoolOfAttraction Thank you =-) But for some reason, it seems... wrong and kinda off. So you don't order anything, don't sit at your table ever, you just move from one group of people to another and try to talk to them?..
I mean... more or less... So if I'm alone - i hang out with the group of girls I've befriended as in this video. If I'm with friends, we'll meet first, and say hello, then I'll peel off when I see a cute girl, then come back to my friends for a bit, talk some more, they go off again when I See a cute girl etc. It only feels awkward because we think anybody really cares. But nobody really does - and sometimes women are surprised I don't drink, but it's never been a reason a woman didn't want to date me.
At last! A guy that recognises what I've always called "the solo mission". The success rates are through the roof. In my glory days, I always did this. My line was "I was supposed to meet my friends here and they all stood me up this evening. Now I'm on my own" Most women just want to save you and take you under their wing. "Come and join us" was almost always the response. It was always a winning strategy. My best nights out were those "solo missions" Nice video man! New subscriber for sure!
I’m going to have to try that one. I always feel like I need an excuse for being alone at a bar. I always feel awkward and end up leaving after a few drinks.
I love going out alone. It absolutely forces you to talk to girls. If you’re with your friends, your brain uses that as an excuse. What I always do is just go out without any expectations, and definitely to a place that is entertaining for me. And I just talk to everyone, men, women, whatever. It gets you in a free and easy mood.
Yeah man I would hide by my friends who would never meet anyone and it would feel awkward to meet people when they are in the background looking at me. It is much better to go out alone. I have many friends that I will bump into at clubs from a history of going out alone and meeting people.
It sounds counter intuitive but as a non drinker going to bars and drinking socially actually improved my life. I was so fucking lonely just smoking weed on my back porch before that.
The trick is the mindset you bring with you to the bar. Don't go to the bar to meet a hookup, just go to have fun. So if you don't find a hookup you can stay motivated by reminding yourself that just talking to people, even if it doesn't click, is more fun than staying home alone :)
100% Jonathan, I used this technique to improve my confidence, my conversation technique and my flirting skills, it also gives you a great insight in to the female psyche and that is 110% gold dust.
CAN CONFIRM, THIS WORKS! I went out today and followed the steps in this video. Ended up hanging out the entire evening with a group of three super cool girls and we went to a few bars. Even got a number from another cute girl in one bar. Try it ou guys, going out alone and just having fun is addicting!
I don’t have that problem I own two hotels one in New York and Spain so I am in the business. I always go out alone hit a bar early and usually have my meal at the bar. I have style and money #1 wear a wedding ring. That is the best approach I project I am taken and I am not picking up. The rest is ABRACADABRA 😂🎉!!!
Damn, this is Reverse psychology, Dude. I''ll try this also next time. By the was, Most of the time I do solo game too, because so I'm 100percent responsible for the result of my actions.@@yellowquantum4240
@@yellowquantum4240 Hello, you say you wear a wedding ring, is it because you're married, or is it a trick you're using to be more succesful towards women who like chasing married men ?
@@Heimrik01 I was married to a French woman I messed up big time I never took my ring off. Today works in airports, bars is a taboo thing that women are attracted too. I never have the lonely dude look I work on frame , workout, tons of hobbies plus now financially solid. People want what can not have!
If Picasso or the masters A list ( today) would be playing tennis in a country club and bar hopping no Picasso, Newton, Da Vinci, Einstein, Jesus....etc I like Virginia Wolf 🤓
listen to the modern lovers song about him. “he could walk down the street and girls could not resist his stare… pablo picasso never got called an ahole… not like you” 😂
@@SK-le1gm I never appreciated Picasso's art, until I met an artist, from France, that idolized him. Antoine was the most artistic person I ever met! And if he thought Picasso was awesome, I had to think again. My favorite quote of Pablo's is "Learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist!" 😎🤙
The magnum opus and philosophers stone are both one and the same. This is an internal work The lead is the imperfect you and the gold is the realized individual. This process once realized is worth more than gold. By far Stay warm my friends
Don't go to the bar for the hookup go with the mindset you are going to interact and be social with people and if you meet some new friends or a possible hookup that's the icing on the cake.
I decided to go out after watching this. It was already midnight. Went to many clubs alone. Approached a bunch of girls. Got three instagrams and good short conversations. It was not perfect, but I did have a nice experience just facing the challenge of approaching random girls. I'm sure I can keep honing this skill. I think it was pretty good to have done this without thinking it twice.
No, but I'm jacked and I'm making good money. My relationships haven't been the best, but every time I've learned something. On my side I've been doing things right.
This actually worked for me the second time I went out alone. Talked to these two women, acted as their wingman, then they did the same for me. Felt a little cucked, but just went along with it for practice and fun.
Super smart strategies man. Its so important to not be too direct in the search. Just having fun shows so much attractiveness and going in alone is so confident. Women vouching for for your validity as an honest person helps so much! My first girlfriend i met when going out and i got dragged and dropped into circles of women having fun together, i was introduced, and i could just feel the fear of needing to prove im not a creep slip right off. The most intimate period in my life started after that night out meeting lots of women with no stress and it just clicked with the right one.
Something I've realised is when I'm 4 drinks in I stop caring about how I feel, I had a family meet up party, first in over like 15 years, now I'm 22 I can hold and start conversations with family I don't know. I saw a girl around my age and thought well I have no romantic feelings whatsoever since she's my cousin and I'd like to know the family my age, 6 drinks in a finally stopped caring how bad I am at conversations and spoke, got the others our age in aswell and it was amazing. I used to think alcohol was stupid but it really gives me confidence, I'm lucky in a way I guess because once I'm drunk I don't seem to get worse the more I drink, I just become happy and talkative but I still feel self awareness to a degree I know not to spout something rude or offensive
I'm a bit older than you are right now. So I remember being younger and having also these happy and talkative effects when drinking alcohol. Now I've noticed somehow that effect has gone and it just makes me drunk and slightly aggressive. I have noticed that same effect happening to people my age and older. Which is why ive toned it down with the drinking to not be THAT guy.
Can confirm getting "adopted" by a female friend group is usually one of the best ways to get your night going. Works with guy groups too but its true that girls are usually more up for the idea of being wingwoman for you.
This definitely works and I’ve gotten a lot of women by wingwomen but now what happens when I don’t have that … l’m working on doing it completely my self, that’s what l’m lacking.. I’ve become to reliant on needing a buddy to go out
After my divorce and a couple of covid years I re-engaged the party scene at 34. I alternatively went with friends and alone. Actually I prefered going alone, because you meet new people and don't have to deal with group pressure or expectations. My biggest successes I had with women, was going alone. But I always went to the same clubs and bars, because I was attracted to a specific typ of people and music. So I ended up knowing a lot of people, but these were rather superficial acquaintances. It turned of to be a disadvantage. First of all the pool of people going to the bars refreshes seldom, and seeing the same people over and over again makes cautious. I once talked to a guy with more experience and he said, "if you want to hook up with girls, don't go to familiar places, try new territory." He is totally right. 2 month ago I stopped going out. It became futile, because I realized I didn't like partygirls, also I decided returning to more healthy habits, going to sleep early and waking up early. I think it is good to experience night life, but you will meet more meaningful romantic partners at day time activities. Also I don't drink alcohol, this makes you an outsider in the night life.
For what it's worth, I don't drink either - I still prefer going wtih friends though - I like the vibe of having mates to laugh with in between aproaches.
Hmm interesting idea. As a shy social awkward guy I've been thinking about going to the pub to try and meet new people but my awkwardness/wierdness has always made me nervous. This is one idea that I will probably have to try though.
Hey Lee, I am a 24-year-old college student who goes clubbing alone every Friday without drinking alcohol at all! This has been one of my hobbies since mid 2022. I was not always entertained, but I did collect some nice experiences.
Just a word. Dont be drunk as hell and try to drive it’s not worth it. Get a taxi to go home and if one is not available and you have no friends nearby then most bars out in the country will let you sober up in the parking lot in your car. At least that was my experience.
I think the key is... to treat the women as your mates, talk to them like a mate and guaranteed you will succeed. I dont have to use bars to do this you can use any setting... I race motorcycles and go on my own to trackdays, its perfect for working on your social skills. Years ago I would of had massive anxiety but now I don't care at all. Rejection is another one... dont look at rejection as failure look at it as a win... because you approached that girl in the first place. Its all about repetition and Rome wasn't built in a day
Acts 16:30-31 King James Version 30 And brought them out, and said, Sirs, what must I do to be saved? 31 And they said, Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house.
Went out to a bar last weekend. I was more interested in seeing the blues musician who was performing more than trying to meet a woman. I was the youngest in the bar was mostly older people. One older guy observed this and asked me. Told him i was there to see the performer play and he was happy to see a younger guy appreciate blues music. From there i just started talking to more people and eventually got to talk to the singer and guitarist of the band. It was an awesome experience! If you are a music fan its good to go to bars where there will be live music. Easy to make observations that can lead to conversation material.
I have been going out by myself to clubs/ concerts but dont manage the courage to speak to girls. I turn up in my own world but know i have a shot with women. The longer i procrastinate I end up too drunk for flirting and the night is over and im still alone at the end of it. Definitely a flaw on my part and it’s because i get intimidated and blank out on being chill and not too nervous i feel. Really just trying to have a good time but your advice definitely helped me out, will try it friday
Count 3...2...1...and approach. I am doing this strategy in everything in my life (need to go study? 3...2...1..do it!) so when I go to the club it just feels natural. you still need to have the balls but it does help a bit.
I feel like I just read a short story about myself. I just go out for the sake of going out and getting out of the house. Some nights I have fun and other times I’m ready to go back to my quiet apartment lol!
The fear never go away, you need to simply confront it. Start by training your brain to the feeling by having short casual conversations on a regular basis. That is talk to strangers ALL THE TIME. And don’t discriminate, be the guy who talks to everybody. Smile more. And always be extra polite to service people in stores/bars/cleaners and so on, give a extra « have a great day 🤗🌅». Learn to Be the guy who makes peoples day 👍😄. Show interest en people by asking about they’re lifes. You will see that they briten up with smiles 😄. This in turn will rub of on you, the females around will see « where that man stands is where the smiles and fun is».
I do it all the time. Its easy. Talk to them like you talk to male friends but stay on the female friendly topics. Theres no tricks. Make a comment or ask a question about something. If youre afraid youre going to sound stupid youre not going to go anywhere. That dont matter. Talk to whoever is next to you. Be friendly to everyone as if you kniw them then be sneaky and talk to a woman. Make a joke. Dont go witb the mindset that you will meet someone. You're there to have fun. Thats it.
Guys, last night was probably the best night in a while… let me tell you. I haven’t went out like that by myself in a long time. Mainly because I lost the confidence. Anyway, what I’m trying to say is this man, knows very well what he’s talking about. Listen to him, because this is my first time ever going to a clun EVER. He got me to sleep with a girl in her own house! 😂😂😂 (not boasting)
It took me a long time. But the first step for me is making sure I look my best. Then once I get a couple drinks in me I'm more relaxed. I like going to places I'm familiar with too. After that you're just enjoying your time alone listening to music and vibing out. Most people will assume you're there with someone anyway. But if you're looking and feeling good someone will always approach you.
I'm not listening to advices from a guy with that shirt and a beard. If you go to a bar with that beard and that shirt, you lose 99% of chances just by the way you look.
I mean, it's cool that you feel that way - but the real life tells a different story... Women keep telling me not to shave the beard when I suggest it as well - so I'll go with what women want rather than guys.. We as men aren't always the best at knowing what women are going to want.
Reverse psychology: Go out with the goal, NOT to speak with anybody. Litterally! Get pissed and an akward feeling when the barman ask you what do you want to drink. Be the social isolated in a bar. It does not take long for your brain to try to break out of this situation and than let it go.
Totally agree, works perfectly ... when 'on the road' or travelling. But does this also work in the hometown? Although I enjoy going out alone (and be very successful at it) in other cities, I can't bring myself to do it in my hometown. Too scared to be rejected in front of people I know. Ironically I kinda live like a recluse in my hometown, hardly leave the house, and yet somehow I know a whole lot of people there. So how do I get over this strange anxiety when wanting to play a homegame? Or is it just a matter of not giving a damn?
That's trickier, all my coaching all my own work is done is sizeable cities over 250,000, usually over 500k population - so running into people you know is harder. So I don't know how big your own town is, but if it's small, I could imagine this feeling.
@@SchoolOfAttraction The town's population is 20,000 (with a significant amount of elderly people). I think I'm gonna do a test in a neighbouring village. It's equally small, but I know a lot less people there. If I go in with the same mindset as when I'm travelling, this might become successful.
I do this and everyone ignores me, I enjoy myself anyway. One time I tried talking to a bartender, which normally is a good means of conversation and I heard one of their colleagues saying to them "just ignore him and he'll go away" lol.
That was my result when I was younger. Every girl would turn her back to me and ignore me if I tried talking to them, and groups would turn their back to me in an unbreakable huddle and all ignore me if I tried talking to them. Now I'm old, and trying to force myself to approach. I don't know if My results will be the same or worse. Watching guys at the clubs, I now believe you have to be carrying more muscle mass than 90% of guys there, to not get ignored by a woman. She basically has to feel that you could realistically beat up any guy that tries to defend her, there. It's a primitive part of our brain, the same with chimps, you'll see the "alpha" that get's female chimp attention is by far the biggest chimp. I've been lifting as heavy as I can now for 15 years, with good nutrition, but I'm still not sure it's enough. The guys I see getting attention at bars and clubs have steroid level amounts of muscle. Not possible natty.
I've done that a few times myself, the quick answer to deal with anxiety for me was getting drunk enough that you are still able to speak while "drowning" the anxiety.
I’m a pickup artist out of OC. I go out alone all the time. If I’m at a bar, honestly all it takes is live music. I pretend like I already know everyone there and eventually I’ll start vibing. It all has to do with your mood. If you feel weird, then weird shit will happen to you. Conversely, if you self amuse, people and woman will be drawn to you.
Simple. I feel energized and super confident-pretty much like I own the night. I also go to places where I know from the security to the owners so occasional goers notice I’m allowed in private areas and hug and fist bump all the staff and the band members playing that night (I know most of them). I focus on having fun talking to and drinking with the bartenders and bar managers. All of the sudden, you’ll notice girls and guys gravitate toward you. It’s just natural. They’ll compliment you on your style (I look like a rock star-no joke) and often take pictures with you. It’s actually a lot of fun. Sometimes I also go with my female friends who are good looking. That also helps a lot. I realize this will not be the experience for everyone but keep in mind that once you’ve done this enough times, it doesn’t even matter if you venture alone in a different city or even abroad (I travel quite a bit). The energy is the same. Long story short, it is all in your mind. If you feel you own the night, you actually do.
The thing is to keep the dopamine and your energy levels high. 1. Take 5 shots of neat jack daniels and you will be at your best. 2. Dont wait and just say it, else it just builds inside a stone of low confiedence that can sink your whole night.
It used to be easy to handle rejections but with time I didn’t even stick around to find out if they “might” say yes. Them saying yes is a preliminary to you most likely getting stood up, the date going wrong, waisting morre time and emotions on something that’s not important, etc. if you’re gonna do that stuff you have to have a wildly positive mindset and energy that just is more then what most people can handle, and still they get rejected. I don’t have time
Got to be careful if you;'re just approach off the bat. Women can see and if you're knocked back or just APPEAR to be knocked back, then goodbye value.
No matter what My friends would always get the girl and I was always the invisible man and that always and still today pisses the royal mother fucking off in me so I just gave up. My ex wife called me a looser I guess she was right 😢😡
What a waste of time, going to a bar to pick up another piece of baggage. These types of men are at a disadvantage. Avoid the bars and do something constructive without women, and enjoy less stressful lives.
Great video man. Subscribed! I didn't think I had anything to add, but I just remembered... Where I live in the UK, there is a park with an "outdoor gym" - a few bits of very robust gym equipment that anyone can jump on and use. I've just moved to the area - 180 miles from my last home, and I know noone. I suddenly had the bright idea to work out in this park-gym 3 or 4 times a week. I hope to meet people, not just women. I have been twice so far, and it's been totally empty, LOL. However, the equipment is surprisingly good, so I'm motivated to continue - I ached this morning after yesterday's workout. I'm a fit 57 y/o. I figured, that if I meet anyone in this setting they will be also health orientated. I'm not interested in going to bars, because I'm not into drinking. I'm not teatotal, just don't don't enjoy the stuff very often. I might try cafes though, and maybe adapt some of your ideas... Cheers.
Honestly I hardly ever go to a bar without a woman selecting me but they are not relationship quality and I’m not spending my liver for love. Bar pickups are a terrible idea. Safer than online dating however the results are pretty poor. The last woman I met at a bar brought vodka to the second date. Alcohol is not worth it at all at this age. The rate of physiological decline is accelerating now is the time to spare your youth and hold on to it as long as you can.
im bricking it but i think im gonna try this in about a week, thanks for the advice, the pain of regret of never doing it is worse than the potential failure
There is one thing I do to improve that, on your normal day, ask a random girl on the street for locations, for example, come to someone and ask "Sorry, do you know how I can get to bar XYZ?", or "Sorry, I am new on the city, do you know where I can find a good place to drink? I have 2 days only so need to enjoy properly you know haha", and keep doing that forever, everywhere you go, or hours before go to a bar, I mean, after a while that will become natural and you can even link other questions or make a joke, for example, after asking where is the bar, you can also say "Hope that bar is good haha, will trust on you, bye!", mate if she smile, ask her to come with you haha. By doing that, you will automatically adapt your approach without necessarily running the risk of getting dumped by a girl, it doesn't even make sense for someone to dump you for asking for information in a polite way, and even if that happens, you just spend seconds (not even a minute), there is definintely no time lost on that. does't matter if you know already where is the place, or if you live in the city years (or even born there), the point is, she doesn't know you!
i dont care about rejection theres always someone else ,it works .I told a women once its ok there's plenty of other babes here,your not the only one,,,20 minutes later she came back and started flirting lol
Unless you are a 9 or 10 guy when you will pull in bars. Save yourself the stress. Save up a few thousand dollars and get yourself a flight to Pattaya.
Dive bars and karaoke bars. People are there to have a great time. If you go alone, often random people will start talking to you. You're less intimidating outside of a group. Also, I'd encourage talking to the men too, because you're just being social with strangers. Which is huge.
Holy damn xD this sounds genious!! and the best part is that if your not lucky with finding someone to flirt with etc. there is much lower threshold to just beeing friends with some girl gang, friends is worth it too! great tip! thx!!
Yeah - I always avoid dance clubs - unless I'm going for salsa/bachata dancing - I look more for bars / cocktail bars / classy bars where ther emusic isn't too loud but the women are classier.
I’m a guy who goes out alone though this is because I have no friends, as for how I stay motivated it’s mostly just that I’ve become numb to rejection after 250 times
The best way to approach a women, the no 1 rule is get a lil closer to her to maybe notice you and if she do that’s when you smile and start a conversation. Dont go approaching from across the room they hate that shit and that shit look corny lol
Last week I was invited to a friends and family restaurant opening. Ended up talking to a woman that was a music attorney. I wasn't attracted to her but had lots of questions about her business. The following week the owner tells me she couldn't stop talking about me and how interesting I was. Another way is to walk around without a drink in hand and ask how everyone is doing tonight. I always get asked if I'm the owner. I lie and say a partner.
Nothing ever worked for me to lessen social anxiety. Besides, those times I did approach went badly. I finally settled on never going out of my way to approach at all, although I went out alone countless times. And my conclusion was that it seemed clear that women don't want to be approached anyway, hence the constant rejection and ego-damaging rejections they respond with. There have to be better ways to meet women than clubs and bars.
I have always gone out on my, always where the opposite clothes to everyone else, walk in slowly, if feel overwhelmed,find a seat, compose yourself, try not to look at anyone, wait for favourite song come,hit the dance, girls move towards, pick out the most attractive and flirt with her, other girls will hit on, when this happens leave the dance, watch girl's who are looking for, go up to them, chat for 5 minutes, and say there's a girl over there I really fancy, If strop, push, you, there yours, always play women off with one another, It always works, always go for the best looking woman, because men are afraid to approach, them, other women think, what's he got, create effects with clothes, it's possible to get women, without talking to them,, through drawing them in on the dance floor, every girl I've got ,I've done it this away, Guys will sneer at you, women have pushed me on the dance floor, ignore, don't let them intimidated you. Global man
@@brianprice5152 And what if, like me and tons of other guys, you don't dance? And the answer is not dancing lessons, because some of us can never be cut out to dance. In fact, I find it a bizarre activity that I could never attempt or subject myself to. In fact, I find dancing quite ridiculous.
There in lies your problem, you are too stuck up. Im also not a fan of dancing, however i can recognize that this is mostly because im petrified of judgement from other people. If you really think about it, dancing is anything but stupid and unecessary, just look at the animal kingdome and just how many animals have mating dances.
Our first question concerning the value of a book, a man, or a piece of music is: Can it walk? Or still better: Can it dance.. Just bump around on songs you like, if theres none you arnt in the right place
That’s genius! I’m gonna try that the next time I’m going out! I feel my friends’ indecisivenesses about the place, the time, the motivation, and the approach are demotivating me. Warm up strategy: approach as soon as you’re in and do 3-4 approaches in a row. With every approach praise yourself for doing the approach despite the outcome. After 4 approaches like this you’ll be in a flow state and can approach any group of girls. After 10 approaches like this you’ll be in a super flow state and can approach girls, guys, and girls in a group of guys. Without flow state you see obstacles, but in the super flow state you see even tiniest opportunities where a girl is getting bored with her guy friends!
Good for me because I love to explore and actually put in the effort to improve myself, I'm going to try this strategy to night though it's way out of my comfort zone but that's what makes it more interesting.
After trying it all, I think it's far better to build a life/business for yourself around one of your passions/talents and then meet people in the day to day living of it. Even if you succeed at meeting someone in a bar, it's not the best dating pool. Alcohol really does very little for a person. Go to sleep early and get up early. Alternate between 2 cafes everyday. It's a much lower-pressure situation to meet people in. Having said that, it's good that this guy learned some skills. I just recommend not centering your social life around a place where people drink. Think about the motivation of people who get tipsy or drunk on the regular in the first place - it's usually to escape from trauma/monotony/numbness. Just bc it is a socially-acceptable part of the culture, doesn't mean that it is anything desireable.
Hey man, love the strategy, super clever, one thing I think worth mentioning too is once you find a group of women to help you, from an outside perspective, it looks like one guy hanging out with a bunch of girls, which makes you seem much more attractive to every other girl in the venue
Go out with the intention of sharpening your social skills, and having new experiences. This way, you take the pressure of yourself, and know that it's a win no matter what happens. Getting more experience is the key.
The first 1,000 rejections is a warm up
😂
Unless you get tossed in jail after 28.
@@dale116dot7 yep
And after that therapy.
@@paulcooper5748 yeah be more feminin it will help 🤣
Went out with full intentions to do what you described. I failed and sat in the corner. Hope to be better next time
Mate congrats for just trying! Try again and keep working on it - we've all been there :)
lmao unlucky i was thinking of trying it, nt though
😂
I started this process about 10 months ago. One of your videos where you talked about socializing with everyone was super helpful. Early on I'd watch or listen to it over and over, in my car before going into social spaces. I made a conscious choice at that time to go out every single night to a social space, which eventually became bars/clubs. The anxiety is mostly long gone but I still feel awkward in those place. Some of the stuff still seems too overwhelming to attempt so far. But I can go in anywhere and feel at complete peace knowing I belong where ever I'm at, which is hugely different than before and for most of my life
That's so amazing to hear bud! Thank you so much for sharing
Yep. I remember trying this in Sydney, Australia, immediately after reading The Game by Neil Strauss. I had a great time and made some new friends.
Are you married now? Have you got children?
I have A LOT of approach anxiety and my friends are all very shy/not confident so going out with them is a fun night but never around girls. since last summer i started out going alone and been getting more results by just going to the same dive bar consistently. I think the familiarity of the setting, knowing the bartenders and other regulars puts me at ease. I can immediately start a conversation with any of the regulars when there is a lull in activity or talk to the bartenders who i would consider all if not friends, at least good acquaintances.
Yeah, knowing some people even if they aren't friends makes hte whole process so much easier! Good on you for pushing yourself to just get active - it's not easy in the beginning.
I regularly go out alone to club's, never tried to actually be friend with a group of girls and not flirt with them, gonna try it this friday!
Keep us posted!
I’d pregame before going and already be kind of tipsy. Takes the edge off and makes it easier to talk to them most of the time.
Just a word. Dont be drunk as hell either and try to drive it’s not worth it. Get a taxi to go home and if one is not available and you have no friends near by then most bars out in the country will let you sober up in the parking lot in your car. At least that was my experience.
Going out to a bar on my own tonight for the first time. Dating is becoming more and more competitive these days, and I figured that if you don't make a move, not much will happen!
How did it go?
@@ItsStribe Im rollin now 😎😎
@@2xfreestyle459 wym
Good advice! I always used the “get settled in” excuse and never talked to anyone.
I find these tips to be reasonable and effective
Well for me I go in there feeling confident at bars And also thinking like if I got it like that It helps a lot It works It doesn't matter how we look like You go in like that You are possibly golden
I have that same shirt!!
Ahh a man of culture I See :)
I have the best time going to bars alone the woman will flock around me, wandering why am I alone
I enjoy going out for a beer on my own. 😊
Trust me it’s actually a lot easier but know your crowd
The trick is not going to the bar with the goal of hooking up. Your goal is just to have a good time and make new friends. If you’re going to a bar alone, you clearly need more friends. Also, one of the new female friends that you met at the bar, is most likely the one that will introduce you to your future girlfriend that was not at the bar.
Yeah I think just being able to have fun and not be too fixated on having to pick women up improves quality of life and results at the same time
I used to do this in my 20s all the time women always approached me
Go when the club is lit. Don’t be the first one to arrive, wait until the club starts getting busy. Lots of people to open.
Interestingly, I like doing the opposite, I find it much easeir to start approaching BEFORE things get crazy - once everything is busy and wild - I need momentum to keep going... Also before it gets wild, women are more chill aren't in crazy party mode.
Gum is a good method for anxiety for sure.
I’ve always gone out alone, met most of the woman in my life that way….
It’s easy my man. 2 drinks and one solid rip of cannabis and boom 💥 were off! Easey peasey
This is genius
What's wrong with girls who are 15 years older than you with a wedding ring ???? I feel personally attacked.
Lets go together then
Wait for it, its legen-----dary!😛
Rejection is like crashing on a dirtbike. It’s going to happen. You gotta dust yourself off, and get back on the bike…Yes it sucks, makes ya feel shitty, but It’s guaranteed to happen, and you’ll never be where you wanna be if you cannot accept that.
I will try this next week😅
Hey ! I have a question that might be wierd so if I approach a girl and I crash and burn then should I wait like 5 minutes or just take an other chance right away is it creepy or completely normal?
You mean instantly do another approach after a crash and burn? No need to wait honestly
@@SchoolOfAttraction that's what I tought like it would come off creepy if I went just next like its tinder🤣. Next week I'm going out to a local club with the soul purpouse of trying to pick up girls or just generally talk to them at all this is the first time I'm doing this so I'm looking up every piece of info I can. I work with firearms while also doing college so the one line I always tell myself before an approach is "hey you are not afraid of a loaded ak-47 exploding in your face why are you afraid of a woman rejecting you" (the ak would probably hurt less🤣) so I'm really trying to feel this out I have tryed it befire when I was with friends but I never dedicated a whole night to this generally I'm a super shy lone wolf kinda guy and I want to sharpen my social skills as best as I can.
when you're in a new city or even your own, you have to do a little research into what bar you go to and WHEN. Too few people or too many people and TOO LOUD = not very good results. What kind of music, what kind of crowd is there. Ae the women going there just like you to meet other people and have some fun or just the same BS about "having a drink and not wanting to interact" (for that they could have stayed home and used a cucumber). Still, if you are in a new town and nobody knows you, you can experiment. Failure is OK as long as you learn something. But if in a foreign 3rd world country or in a US bar where some attractive women are unusually "attracted" to you, beware. Many good men have woken up with their credit cards maxed out, at best. And if in a foreign country. DEFINITELY don't drink anything served to you unless you've opened that can of beer yourself.... and never lose sight of it.
I was thinking about it, but the problem is - I don't drink alcohol, ever, and I can't stand crowds of people and loud music. Can this tactics be adapted to some lesser intensity and lesser alcohol consumption places? Or should I stick to the daygame?
So, I don't drink at all either - but I do understand that some guys just struggle with crowds , so then I'd nevre try to urge you towards bars. I can't really see this particualr strategy working elsewhere, becuase it requires the kind of vibe you get in bars to work.. Like I have strategies for at the beach for examplel - but most of my viewers don't go to the beach regularly. But just at a cafe or something - I can't see this kind of thing working so well.
@@SchoolOfAttraction Got it, thank you for the explaination. But I always wonder - if you don't drink alcohol, then what do you DO in bars? =-)
I talk to girls :) Or if I'm just with friends, I talk to them. . Bars are just a social location - a spot for a group of people to gather... Sometimes I dont' want to be in my house all the time, so if I want to meet with 5 friends after work - a bar is a good place for it - espeically since my friends do drink.
@@SchoolOfAttraction Thank you =-) But for some reason, it seems... wrong and kinda off. So you don't order anything, don't sit at your table ever, you just move from one group of people to another and try to talk to them?..
I mean... more or less... So if I'm alone - i hang out with the group of girls I've befriended as in this video. If I'm with friends, we'll meet first, and say hello, then I'll peel off when I see a cute girl, then come back to my friends for a bit, talk some more, they go off again when I See a cute girl etc.
It only feels awkward because we think anybody really cares. But nobody really does - and sometimes women are surprised I don't drink, but it's never been a reason a woman didn't want to date me.
At last! A guy that recognises what I've always called "the solo mission". The success rates are through the roof. In my glory days, I always did this. My line was "I was supposed to meet my friends here and they all stood me up this evening. Now I'm on my own" Most women just want to save you and take you under their wing. "Come and join us" was almost always the response. It was always a winning strategy. My best nights out were those "solo missions" Nice video man! New subscriber for sure!
Hey! Yeah totally! It was mind blowing when I first started experiencing it.
Damn, this is an absolute killer line tho
I’m going to have to try that one. I always feel like I need an excuse for being alone at a bar. I always feel awkward and end up leaving after a few drinks.
@@SchoolOfAttraction "busy being proud of myself". Yes that is a brilliant part of the momentum.
Someone give this man a gold trophy
I love going out alone. It absolutely forces you to talk to girls. If you’re with your friends, your brain uses that as an excuse. What I always do is just go out without any expectations, and definitely to a place that is entertaining for me. And I just talk to everyone, men, women, whatever. It gets you in a free and easy mood.
This is such a great mindset to have! If more guys felt this way, they'd have a much easier time.
Yeah man I would hide by my friends who would never meet anyone and it would feel awkward to meet people when they are in the background looking at me.
It is much better to go out alone. I have many friends that I will bump into at clubs from a history of going out alone and meeting people.
It sounds counter intuitive but as a non drinker going to bars and drinking socially actually improved my life. I was so fucking lonely just smoking weed on my back porch before that.
The trick is the mindset you bring with you to the bar. Don't go to the bar to meet a hookup, just go to have fun. So if you don't find a hookup you can stay motivated by reminding yourself that just talking to people, even if it doesn't click, is more fun than staying home alone :)
This is good advice - I agree fun first - always.
100% Jonathan, I used this technique to improve my confidence, my conversation technique and my flirting skills, it also gives you a great insight in to the female psyche and that is 110% gold dust.
@@alanrennox7340 yes true. Experience is key.
Going to a bar alone is never more fun than staying home LOL
However It'll get old quick if you don't score.
CAN CONFIRM, THIS WORKS!
I went out today and followed the steps in this video. Ended up hanging out the entire evening with a group of three super cool girls and we went to a few bars. Even got a number from another cute girl in one bar. Try it ou guys, going out alone and just having fun is addicting!
I don’t have that problem I own two hotels one in New York and Spain so I am in the business. I always go out alone hit a bar early and usually have my meal at the bar. I have style and money #1 wear a wedding ring. That is the best approach I project I am taken and I am not picking up. The rest is ABRACADABRA 😂🎉!!!
Damn, this is Reverse psychology, Dude. I''ll try this also next time. By the was, Most of the time I do solo game too, because so I'm 100percent responsible for the result of my actions.@@yellowquantum4240
@@yellowquantum4240 Hello, you say you wear a wedding ring, is it because you're married, or is it a trick you're using to be more succesful towards women who like chasing married men ?
@@Heimrik01 I was married to a French woman I messed up big time I never took my ring off. Today works in airports, bars is a taboo thing that women are attracted too. I never have the lonely dude look I work on frame , workout, tons of hobbies plus now financially solid. People want what can not have!
"Without solitude, no great work is achieved." ~Pablo Picasso
If Picasso or the masters A list ( today) would be playing tennis in a country club and bar hopping no Picasso, Newton, Da Vinci, Einstein, Jesus....etc I like Virginia Wolf 🤓
listen to the modern lovers song about him. “he could walk down the street and girls could not resist his stare… pablo picasso never got called an ahole… not like you” 😂
@@SK-le1gm I never appreciated Picasso's art, until I met an artist, from France, that idolized him. Antoine was the most artistic person I ever met! And if he thought Picasso was awesome, I had to think again.
My favorite quote of Pablo's is
"Learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist!" 😎🤙
The magnum opus and philosophers stone are both one and the same. This is an internal work
The lead is the imperfect you and the gold is the realized individual.
This process once realized is worth more than gold.
By far
Stay warm my friends
Don't go to the bar for the hookup go with the mindset you are going to interact and be social with people and if you meet some new friends or a possible hookup that's the icing on the cake.
its fun going there just looking for sex. tell the truth. that can be fun too! ahah
I travel solo. When I'm in a bar I don't approach I just have small talk with people who sit close to me. I'm not hitting on them I'm just chatting.
Don't really have a main group to go out with on a Friday night on a weekly basis. Definitely gotta give it a go.
No fun
I decided to go out after watching this. It was already midnight. Went to many clubs alone. Approached a bunch of girls. Got three instagrams and good short conversations. It was not perfect, but I did have a nice experience just facing the challenge of approaching random girls. I'm sure I can keep honing this skill. I think it was pretty good to have done this without thinking it twice.
And now? Are you married? Do you have children?
No, but I'm jacked and I'm making good money. My relationships haven't been the best, but every time I've learned something. On my side I've been doing things right.
don't give a fuck. light up a cigar have a drink by my self and just relaxing enjoying the time. Wolves don't need company
This actually worked for me the second time I went out alone. Talked to these two women, acted as their wingman, then they did the same for me. Felt a little cucked, but just went along with it for practice and fun.
Super smart strategies man. Its so important to not be too direct in the search. Just having fun shows so much attractiveness and going in alone is so confident. Women vouching for for your validity as an honest person helps so much!
My first girlfriend i met when going out and i got dragged and dropped into circles of women having fun together, i was introduced, and i could just feel the fear of needing to prove im not a creep slip right off. The most intimate period in my life started after that night out meeting lots of women with no stress and it just clicked with the right one.
Something I've realised is when I'm 4 drinks in I stop caring about how I feel, I had a family meet up party, first in over like 15 years, now I'm 22 I can hold and start conversations with family I don't know. I saw a girl around my age and thought well I have no romantic feelings whatsoever since she's my cousin and I'd like to know the family my age, 6 drinks in a finally stopped caring how bad I am at conversations and spoke, got the others our age in aswell and it was amazing. I used to think alcohol was stupid but it really gives me confidence, I'm lucky in a way I guess because once I'm drunk I don't seem to get worse the more I drink, I just become happy and talkative but I still feel self awareness to a degree I know not to spout something rude or offensive
Careful now.
I'm a bit older than you are right now. So I remember being younger and having also these happy and talkative effects when drinking alcohol. Now I've noticed somehow that effect has gone and it just makes me drunk and slightly aggressive. I have noticed that same effect happening to people my age and older. Which is why ive toned it down with the drinking to not be THAT guy.
Can confirm getting "adopted" by a female friend group is usually one of the best ways to get your night going. Works with guy groups too but its true that girls are usually more up for the idea of being wingwoman for you.
only if you are really really handsome
This definitely works and I’ve gotten a lot of women by wingwomen but now what happens when I don’t have that … l’m working on doing it completely my self, that’s what l’m lacking.. I’ve become to reliant on needing a buddy to go out
"Wingmam" lol
After my divorce and a couple of covid years I re-engaged the party scene at 34. I alternatively went with friends and alone. Actually I prefered going alone, because you meet new people and don't have to deal with group pressure or expectations. My biggest successes I had with women, was going alone. But I always went to the same clubs and bars, because I was attracted to a specific typ of people and music. So I ended up knowing a lot of people, but these were rather superficial acquaintances. It turned of to be a disadvantage. First of all the pool of people going to the bars refreshes seldom, and seeing the same people over and over again makes cautious. I once talked to a guy with more experience and he said, "if you want to hook up with girls, don't go to familiar places, try new territory." He is totally right. 2 month ago I stopped going out. It became futile, because I realized I didn't like partygirls, also I decided returning to more healthy habits, going to sleep early and waking up early. I think it is good to experience night life, but you will meet more meaningful romantic partners at day time activities. Also I don't drink alcohol, this makes you an outsider in the night life.
For what it's worth, I don't drink either - I still prefer going wtih friends though - I like the vibe of having mates to laugh with in between aproaches.
Hmm interesting idea. As a shy social awkward guy I've been thinking about going to the pub to try and meet new people but my awkwardness/wierdness has always made me nervous. This is one idea that I will probably have to try though.
Im doing it going to a bar where theres a dancefloor and pool tables. Go with the intent to play some games, stay if the vibe is right.
Going out to the club tonight and tomorrow solo. Wish me luck.
good luck!
Howd it go
Hey Lee, I am a 24-year-old college student who goes clubbing alone every Friday without drinking alcohol at all! This has been one of my hobbies since mid 2022. I was not always entertained, but I did collect some nice experiences.
Just a word. Dont be drunk as hell and try to drive it’s not worth it. Get a taxi to go home and if one is not available and you have no friends nearby then most bars out in the country will let you sober up in the parking lot in your car. At least that was my experience.
I think the key is... to treat the women as your mates, talk to them like a mate and guaranteed you will succeed. I dont have to use bars to do this you can use any setting... I race motorcycles and go on my own to trackdays, its perfect for working on your social skills. Years ago I would of had massive anxiety but now I don't care at all. Rejection is another one... dont look at rejection as failure look at it as a win... because you approached that girl in the first place. Its all about repetition and Rome wasn't built in a day
Women are children with boobs, thus treat them like they were children.
Treating them like your mates will bring you into the friend zone.
Acts 16:30-31
King James Version
30 And brought them out, and said, Sirs, what must I do to be saved?
31 And they said, Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house.
Went out to a bar last weekend. I was more interested in seeing the blues musician who was performing more than trying to meet a woman. I was the youngest in the bar was mostly older people. One older guy observed this and asked me. Told him i was there to see the performer play and he was happy to see a younger guy appreciate blues music. From there i just started talking to more people and eventually got to talk to the singer and guitarist of the band. It was an awesome experience! If you are a music fan its good to go to bars where there will be live music. Easy to make observations that can lead to conversation material.
This is good to know. I love all types of music. I always feel as if I need something to focus on that grabs my attention. Live music would be it.
I find getting tipsy before going to the bar helps a lot lmao
I have been going out by myself to clubs/ concerts but dont manage the courage to speak to girls. I turn up in my own world but know i have a shot with women. The longer i procrastinate I end up too drunk for flirting and the night is over and im still alone at the end of it. Definitely a flaw on my part and it’s because i get intimidated and blank out on being chill and not too nervous i feel. Really just trying to have a good time but your advice definitely helped me out, will try it friday
Count 3...2...1...and approach. I am doing this strategy in everything in my life (need to go study? 3...2...1..do it!) so when I go to the club it just feels natural. you still need to have the balls but it does help a bit.
Man this is exactly how it would go if I would go out alone.
I feel like I just read a short story about myself. I just go out for the sake of going out and getting out of the house. Some nights I have fun and other times I’m ready to go back to my quiet apartment lol!
The fear never go away, you need to simply confront it. Start by training your brain to the feeling by having short casual conversations on a regular basis. That is talk to strangers ALL THE TIME. And don’t discriminate, be the guy who talks to everybody. Smile more. And always be extra polite to service people in stores/bars/cleaners and so on, give a extra « have a great day 🤗🌅». Learn to Be the guy who makes peoples day 👍😄.
Show interest en people by asking about they’re lifes. You will see that they briten up with smiles 😄. This in turn will rub of on you, the females around will see « where that man stands is where the smiles and fun is».
Your channel is super underrated dude. Honestly some of the most creative and unique ideas and content I’ve seen on dating, keep up the good work!
Man likes some good jazz music as well. Always appreciate good backing music.
Thanks a lot Michell!
I do it all the time. Its easy. Talk to them like you talk to male friends but stay on the female friendly topics. Theres no tricks. Make a comment or ask a question about something. If youre afraid youre going to sound stupid youre not going to go anywhere. That dont matter. Talk to whoever is next to you. Be friendly to everyone as if you kniw them then be sneaky and talk to a woman. Make a joke. Dont go witb the mindset that you will meet someone. You're there to have fun. Thats it.
Well said!
Guys, last night was probably the best night in a while… let me tell you. I haven’t went out like that by myself in a long time. Mainly because I lost the confidence. Anyway, what I’m trying to say is this man, knows very well what he’s talking about. Listen to him, because this is my first time ever going to a clun EVER. He got me to sleep with a girl in her own house! 😂😂😂 (not boasting)
It took me a long time. But the first step for me is making sure I look my best. Then once I get a couple drinks in me I'm more relaxed. I like going to places I'm familiar with too. After that you're just enjoying your time alone listening to music and vibing out. Most people will assume you're there with someone anyway. But if you're looking and feeling good someone will always approach you.
Yeah 100%
Someone will not always approach you lol. Get real my guy.
Women don't approach. Not even for the hot guys. Men have to do the approaching.
I'm not listening to advices from a guy with that shirt and a beard. If you go to a bar with that beard and that shirt, you lose 99% of chances just by the way you look.
I mean, it's cool that you feel that way - but the real life tells a different story... Women keep telling me not to shave the beard when I suggest it as well - so I'll go with what women want rather than guys..
We as men aren't always the best at knowing what women are going to want.
I go out alone all the time. I have a lot of friends…but they can sometimes bog things down or go sideways.
Reverse psychology:
Go out with the goal, NOT to speak with anybody. Litterally!
Get pissed and an akward feeling when the barman ask you what do you want to drink.
Be the social isolated in a bar.
It does not take long for your brain to try to break out of this situation and than let it go.
Haha this makes sense. You feel more stupid not aooroaching sometimes
Haha this is an intersting one totally worth a try!
I mean, I play Escape from Tarkov solo: it can't be worse than that :P
Totally agree, works perfectly ... when 'on the road' or travelling. But does this also work in the hometown?
Although I enjoy going out alone (and be very successful at it) in other cities, I can't bring myself to do it in my hometown. Too scared to be rejected in front of people I know. Ironically I kinda live like a recluse in my hometown, hardly leave the house, and yet somehow I know a whole lot of people there. So how do I get over this strange anxiety when wanting to play a homegame? Or is it just a matter of not giving a damn?
That's trickier, all my coaching all my own work is done is sizeable cities over 250,000, usually over 500k population - so running into people you know is harder. So I don't know how big your own town is, but if it's small, I could imagine this feeling.
@@SchoolOfAttraction The town's population is 20,000 (with a significant amount of elderly people).
I think I'm gonna do a test in a neighbouring village. It's equally small, but I know a lot less people there. If I go in with the same mindset as when I'm travelling, this might become successful.
I do this and everyone ignores me, I enjoy myself anyway. One time I tried talking to a bartender, which normally is a good means of conversation and I heard one of their colleagues saying to them "just ignore him and he'll go away" lol.
That was my result when I was younger. Every girl would turn her back to me and ignore me if I tried talking to them, and groups would turn their back to me in an unbreakable huddle and all ignore me if I tried talking to them. Now I'm old, and trying to force myself to approach. I don't know if My results will be the same or worse.
Watching guys at the clubs, I now believe you have to be carrying more muscle mass than 90% of guys there, to not get ignored by a woman. She basically has to feel that you could realistically beat up any guy that tries to defend her, there. It's a primitive part of our brain, the same with chimps, you'll see the "alpha" that get's female chimp attention is by far the biggest chimp.
I've been lifting as heavy as I can now for 15 years, with good nutrition, but I'm still not sure it's enough. The guys I see getting attention at bars and clubs have steroid level amounts of muscle. Not possible natty.
I've done that a few times myself, the quick answer to deal with anxiety for me was getting drunk enough that you are still able to speak while "drowning" the anxiety.
That usually works for me
Thats a difficult fine line to tread
I’m a pickup artist out of OC.
I go out alone all the time. If I’m at a bar, honestly all it takes is live music. I pretend like I already know everyone there and eventually I’ll start vibing.
It all has to do with your mood. If you feel weird, then weird shit will happen to you. Conversely, if you self amuse, people and woman will be drawn to you.
it is hard to do my friend but I will try
thanks for sharing
the strategies you give here seem criminally good might try friday
How did you do?
Simple. I feel energized and super confident-pretty much like I own the night. I also go to places where I know from the security to the owners so occasional goers notice I’m allowed in private areas and hug and fist bump all the staff and the band members playing that night (I know most of them). I focus on having fun talking to and drinking with the bartenders and bar managers. All of the sudden, you’ll notice girls and guys gravitate toward you. It’s just natural. They’ll compliment you on your style (I look like a rock star-no joke) and often take pictures with you. It’s actually a lot of fun. Sometimes I also go with my female friends who are good looking. That also helps a lot. I realize this will not be the experience for everyone but keep in mind that once you’ve done this enough times, it doesn’t even matter if you venture alone in a different city or even abroad (I travel quite a bit). The energy is the same. Long story short, it is all in your mind. If you feel you own the night, you actually do.
The thing is to keep the dopamine and your energy levels high.
1. Take 5 shots of neat jack daniels and you will be at your best.
2. Dont wait and just say it, else it just builds inside a stone of low confiedence that can sink your whole night.
It used to be easy to handle rejections but with time I didn’t even stick around to find out if they “might” say yes. Them saying yes is a preliminary to you most likely getting stood up, the date going wrong, waisting morre time and emotions on something that’s not important, etc. if you’re gonna do that stuff you have to have a wildly positive mindset and energy that just is more then what most people can handle, and still they get rejected. I don’t have time
What kind of masochist would go out alone?
The kind that wouldn't want to be seen with idiots and sacre women off
Got to be careful if you;'re just approach off the bat. Women can see and if you're knocked back or just APPEAR to be knocked back, then goodbye value.
im going solo tonight bud hahahah im a bit nervous but im going to try to pull thru
No matter what
My friends would always get the girl and I was always the invisible man and that always and still today pisses the royal mother fucking off in me so I just gave up.
My ex wife called me a looser I guess she was right 😢😡
This sounds like a great strategy. Definitely will try it out.
As a single guy who goes out 98% of the time by himself and sober at that I can attest to everything you've said, good advice.
What a waste of time, going to a bar to pick up another piece of baggage. These types of men are at a disadvantage. Avoid the bars and do something constructive without women, and enjoy less stressful lives.
Great video man. Subscribed! I didn't think I had anything to add, but I just remembered...
Where I live in the UK, there is a park with an "outdoor gym" - a few bits of very robust gym equipment that anyone can jump on and use. I've just moved to the area - 180 miles from my last home, and I know noone. I suddenly had the bright idea to work out in this park-gym 3 or 4 times a week. I hope to meet people, not just women. I have been twice so far, and it's been totally empty, LOL. However, the equipment is surprisingly good, so I'm motivated to continue - I ached this morning after yesterday's workout. I'm a fit 57 y/o. I figured, that if I meet anyone in this setting they will be also health orientated. I'm not interested in going to bars, because I'm not into drinking. I'm not teatotal, just don't don't enjoy the stuff very often. I might try cafes though, and maybe adapt some of your ideas... Cheers.
Cheers mate! Always nice to see new subscribers!
Didn’t realize this had to be learned or taught. Isn’t this just the default way to socialize and interact?
Honestly I hardly ever go to a bar without a woman selecting me but they are not relationship quality and I’m not spending my liver for love. Bar pickups are a terrible idea. Safer than online dating however the results are pretty poor. The last woman I met at a bar brought vodka to the second date. Alcohol is not worth it at all at this age. The rate of physiological decline is accelerating now is the time to spare your youth and hold on to it as long as you can.
im bricking it but i think im gonna try this in about a week, thanks for the advice, the pain of regret of never doing it is worse than the potential failure
Yeah man, we never really regret the things we try and fail, but we always regret the things we never tried.
There is one thing I do to improve that, on your normal day, ask a random girl on the street for locations, for example, come to someone and ask "Sorry, do you know how I can get to bar XYZ?", or "Sorry, I am new on the city, do you know where I can find a good place to drink? I have 2 days only so need to enjoy properly you know haha", and keep doing that forever, everywhere you go, or hours before go to a bar, I mean, after a while that will become natural and you can even link other questions or make a joke, for example, after asking where is the bar, you can also say "Hope that bar is good haha, will trust on you, bye!", mate if she smile, ask her to come with you haha. By doing that, you will automatically adapt your approach without necessarily running the risk of getting dumped by a girl, it doesn't even make sense for someone to dump you for asking for information in a polite way, and even if that happens, you just spend seconds (not even a minute), there is definintely no time lost on that.
does't matter if you know already where is the place, or if you live in the city years (or even born there), the point is, she doesn't know you!
If smoking wasn’t disallowed, going to bar alone would be more common. At least you’re smoking.
i dont care about rejection theres always someone else ,it works .I told a women once its ok there's plenty of other babes here,your not the only one,,,20 minutes later she came back and started flirting lol
I complement strangers daily.
Unless you are a 9 or 10 guy when you will pull in bars. Save yourself the stress.
Save up a few thousand dollars and get yourself a flight to Pattaya.
Dive bars and karaoke bars. People are there to have a great time. If you go alone, often random people will start talking to you. You're less intimidating outside of a group. Also, I'd encourage talking to the men too, because you're just being social with strangers. Which is huge.
Oooh I haven't tried this before but sounds like it could be fun
Sh1thole bars are always the most fun i agree...just be careful you dont end up in a sausage fest lol
Holy damn xD this sounds genious!! and the best part is that if your not lucky with finding someone to flirt with etc. there is much lower threshold to just beeing friends with some girl gang, friends is worth it too! great tip! thx!!
Cheers mate, yeah it's a lot of fun on mulitple levels
@@SchoolOfAttraction Thx for anser man! you had most success at dance clubs or more bar ish with lower music, maybe to hard to talk in the clubs?
Yeah - I always avoid dance clubs - unless I'm going for salsa/bachata dancing - I look more for bars / cocktail bars / classy bars where ther emusic isn't too loud but the women are classier.
I also went alone and it was the best night of my life. But I'm very social so I met new people right away.
I’m a guy who goes out alone though this is because I have no friends, as for how I stay motivated it’s mostly just that I’ve become numb to rejection after 250 times
😂😂😂
Is this serious? In 2024? My man, you are a snake oil salesman. This is poppycock.
The best way to approach a women, the no 1 rule is get a lil closer to her to maybe notice you and if she do that’s when you smile and start a conversation. Dont go approaching from across the room they hate that shit and that shit look corny lol
Last week I was invited to a friends and family restaurant opening. Ended up talking to a woman that was a music attorney. I wasn't attracted to her but had lots of questions about her business. The following week the owner tells me she couldn't stop talking about me and how interesting I was. Another way is to walk around without a drink in hand and ask how everyone is doing tonight. I always get asked if I'm the owner. I lie and say a partner.
Yeah most people are happy to be social with someone who isn't constnatly trying to get something from them other than just to have fun and connect.
Sex is basically my main motivator for going out alone.
Nothing ever worked for me to lessen social anxiety. Besides, those times I did approach went badly. I finally settled on never going out of my way to approach at all, although I went out alone countless times. And my conclusion was that it seemed clear that women don't want to be approached anyway, hence the constant rejection and ego-damaging rejections they respond with. There have to be better ways to meet women than clubs and bars.
I have always gone out on my, always where the opposite clothes to everyone else, walk in slowly, if feel overwhelmed,find a seat, compose yourself, try not to look at anyone, wait for favourite song come,hit the dance, girls move towards, pick out the most attractive and flirt with her, other girls will hit on, when this happens leave the dance, watch girl's who are looking for, go up to them, chat for 5 minutes, and say there's a girl over there I really fancy,
If strop, push, you, there yours, always play women off with one another,
It always works, always go for the best looking woman, because men are afraid to approach, them, other women think, what's he got, create effects with clothes, it's possible to get women, without talking to them,, through drawing them in on the dance floor, every girl I've got ,I've done it this away,
Guys will sneer at you, women have pushed me on the dance floor, ignore, don't let them intimidated you.
Global man
@@brianprice5152 And what if, like me and tons of other guys, you don't dance? And the answer is not dancing lessons, because some of us can never be cut out to dance. In fact, I find it a bizarre activity that I could never attempt or subject myself to. In fact, I find dancing quite ridiculous.
@@KpxUrz5745 Maybe women don't like you specifically
There in lies your problem, you are too stuck up. Im also not a fan of dancing, however i can recognize that this is mostly because im petrified of judgement from other people.
If you really think about it, dancing is anything but stupid and unecessary, just look at the animal kingdome and just how many animals have mating dances.
Our first question concerning the value of a book, a man, or a piece of music is: Can it walk? Or still better: Can it dance..
Just bump around on songs you like, if theres none you arnt in the right place
That’s genius! I’m gonna try that the next time I’m going out! I feel my friends’ indecisivenesses about the place, the time, the motivation, and the approach are demotivating me.
Warm up strategy: approach as soon as you’re in and do 3-4 approaches in a row. With every approach praise yourself for doing the approach despite the outcome.
After 4 approaches like this you’ll be in a flow state and can approach any group of girls.
After 10 approaches like this you’ll be in a super flow state and can approach girls, guys, and girls in a group of guys.
Without flow state you see obstacles, but in the super flow state you see even tiniest opportunities where a girl is getting bored with her guy friends!
Perfect mate - give it a try! it can be a lot of fun
Good for me because I love to explore and actually put in the effort to improve myself, I'm going to try this strategy to night though it's way out of my comfort zone but that's what makes it more interesting.
After trying it all, I think it's far better to build a life/business for yourself around one of your passions/talents and then meet people in the day to day living of it. Even if you succeed at meeting someone in a bar, it's not the best dating pool. Alcohol really does very little for a person. Go to sleep early and get up early. Alternate between 2 cafes everyday. It's a much lower-pressure situation to meet people in. Having said that, it's good that this guy learned some skills. I just recommend not centering your social life around a place where people drink. Think about the motivation of people who get tipsy or drunk on the regular in the first place - it's usually to escape from trauma/monotony/numbness. Just bc it is a socially-acceptable part of the culture, doesn't mean that it is anything desireable.
Hey man, love the strategy, super clever, one thing I think worth mentioning too is once you find a group of women to help you, from an outside perspective, it looks like one guy hanging out with a bunch of girls, which makes you seem much more attractive to every other girl in the venue
Yeah for sure, this is another positive element to it
I love going out by myself and chatting women up. Love the idea about warming up first and calling someone. Makes total sense.