I am very sorry for your loss. My wife and I were also very young (I was 18, she was 20), when we met in an under-21 nightclub. We met that night because, by chance, both of our friends dragged us there. We were married for 34 years. Unfortunately, I lost her to cancer last year.
@@ABQSentinel oh that's sad to hear I'm really sorry for your loss but it's great that you are able to feel love and give back to your wife. Many men these can't get that. Best of luck
Worst places: 0:30 Nightclub 2:20 Strip Club 2:49 Work 50/50 spots (could be good, could be bad) 4:42 Online dating 5:29 The gym Best places 8:02 Cafe/Lounge 8:55 Daily routine spot 10:47 Volunteering 11:43 Organized group 12:25 School I would add to this list, if you are at all religious, some sort of religous gathering, such as a church or Bible study. In America at least, with a single exception, every single denomination has more women than men. You're likely to meet some wholesome single young ladies lamenting how hard it is to find a guy because of the gender imbalance. Note though that these young ladies will want a religious guy themselves, so if you aren't this is likely a waste of time.
Lol...make sure you are a student at the school. Just hanging around schools is very creepy. Means once you are out of school I problem wouldn't count that as an option. Have tried the dating sites, have tried singles get together, hell I even had a radio DJ friend of mine invite me on the air to try to get me a date. None worked. Singles get togethers...last one I went to only one interested in me was pushing 70. Argh!!!!
interesting! A friend of mine is looking for a traditional wife and he's approaching women in religious circles though he isn't very religious himself. He has had quite the success even, since even though he isn't a Christian, most of their secular values align.
@CourtneyRyan so glad you found the person for you. I've heard of several marriages stemming from tinder. Thanks for the positive messages and work for your videos. To most people searching for that kind of commitment they should avoid that platform. I will.
I met my wife the same way, through dancing. We've been married 42 years and we still dance. I have seen many others partner up through dance, it is a very nonthreatening way for men and women to meet. Doesn't have to be ballroom, though that is what I do. It can be country dancing, salsa dancing, swing dancing. There are groups for all styles of dance. Generally more women than men, so guys it is a great place to be. I have always said that the wars between the sexes would be greatly diminished if more people danced.
I met my wife at a coffee house that I frequented, so spot on there. It also helped a lot that she was sitting at a table with 2 other people who I knew from school, so +2. I'd probably have never talked to her if I didn't feel like I had an "in."
Yeah shopping centre is a mall and church also inahree with, or to generalise, place of worship. Obviously this applies to people who practise their religion and I like it because it puts you in a place where those around you have similar to same core values by virtue of sharing common religion.
Same thing I said before. If you have a favorite place and you date someone you meet there, odds are, your relationship with the places sours or ends when your relationship with the woman does.
It might be odd, but I met half of the women that I dated at the grocery store. It was always easy to start a conversation and based on what they were buying it was pretty easy to tell if we would have anything in common or not. Plus, I discovered that women like men that cook.
It's also great, as a man, to meet women at Trader Joe's (if they're in your area), because you BOTH will be impressed with each other, that you "like to eat healthy." Trader Joe's is mostly healthy foods.
What the hell do you have to buy in order to have something in common? I understand it may works in order to "reject" someone (for instance if she buys lots of alcohol and you do not drink) but how to find a connection by that. I mean I buy very regular staff, not specially healthy food nor anything else
Important things: 1. Worst meeting places: 0:25 First Things - Nightclub; 2:13 Second Thing - Strip Club; 2:44 Third Thing - Work; 2. 50:50 amount of meeting places: 4:38 First Thing - Online Dating; 5:25 Second Thing - The Gym; 3. Best meeting places: 7:55 First Thing - Cafe / Lounge; 8:51 Second Thing - Daily Routine Spots; 10:41 Third Thing - Volunteering; 11:34 Fourth Thing - Organized Group; 12:21 Fifth Thing - School (better to be called college, or faculty) (but it can be partly like 50:50, like it or not), and 14:22 to summarize all the told here. Among the best meeting places where you can meet people, that can be also a You Tube (although I was firstly a bit skeptical when doing it for the first time. But I'm trying to be cautious, cause to someone can be 50:50 chances) Where do we meet people, that would be a topic that can be discussed, and it won't end, because there are many places where can we meet people. As for me I'm old fashion person since I don't like meeting online or on Tinder (cause I'm very cautious). But that doesn't mean I don't want to hang out. Organized groups can really help you not just to meet a soulmate, but it can surely help you meet other people that are showing interests in some hobbies. I had a chance to meet one guy on You Tube that he did a model kit, and he showed it on his channel. I liked the way he did that model kit, and we supported each others channels. Also we exchanged the emails, and sometimes we talk threw Skype (although he's from Japan, and I'm from Balkan Peninsula). And also my channel is dedicated to hobby modeling, since I like doing model kits (but that can be some other topic that we can discuss about it) (if you are interested, you're willing to check it out). Believe it or not I also had a chance to meet someone on the Organized Groups. I think that I have mentioned that a couple of times in some of your videos Courtney. I had a chance to meet women that are interested in hobby model kits, toy cars, and Lego's. Sometimes we talk and make conversations, and we help each other in talking about the tips, suggestions, etc.
@@waltermyers8891 1Timothy 4:1: _"....in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils;"_ 1Timothy 4:2: _"Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron;"_ 1Timothy 4:3: _"Forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats,..."_
the 50-50 meeting places should be timestamped at 5:05, not 50:50.. or if u dont intend to timestamp it, just put - instead of : in 50 50 otherwise great work, king 👑
I met a girl in one of my clubs in college. She’s a doll. Our club went to a Diamondbacks, and she loves baseball, but that was only the 2nd ever baseball game she’s been to. She’s a Giants fan (I’m a Giants fan too), and I asked her to come to another game with me, and she said for sure. I’m hoping it’ll work out.
Of the major professional sports, BASEBALL seems to be the one best geared towards young attractive desirable women! Born and raised in Seattle, I can attest to that, regarding Mariners games. And, most MLB stadiums are so state-of-the-art, with great food amenities, that add to the dating experience.
@ericlarousse1149 wow, while that's possible, hopefully not. My buddy loved baseball, and his wife likes watching it with him all the time. Did while dating too. Sometimes women are honest. Sometimes they're not.
I met my current partner at the gym. I was 29 and she was 20. I had seen her for several years at that gym and we talked to each other sometimes since she is a very social person. I knew she had a boyfriend since she had been training there with him for several years. But for several months she was coming to the gym alone since they had broken up earlier just that I didn't know it. The reason is that they were going to different places in the country because of studies and they figured long distance relationship would not work. Anyway she approached me at the gym and I thought she just wanted to chat a bit but instead she asked me: "When are you going to ask me out for a date?" with a smile on her face. I was quite shocked since I didn't expect that question at all but I gathered myself pretty quickly. She is beautiful and I find her very attractive so I asked if she was free during the weekend and the rest is history. And now we have been together for 10 years. Two and a half year ago our first child was born (daughter) and half a year ago our second child was born (another daughter). She has been a stay at home mom 100% of the time since the first child and she loves it. She is a educated nurse but it's a stressful job and she says she would rather stay at home and take care of the household and kids then work. I have a good income and strong finances which allow that to be a possibility. She also wants more kids and a even bigger family. And has been hinting that with the next child (third one) she doesn't want to give birth at a hospital. She would rather be home and deliver the child there together with experienced nurse-midwife then another round at the hospital. Which is frightening I must say if some complications should arise. I just tell her ok and that we have to be quick about it since I'm getting old (Became 39 years old during summer this year). As I want to be around and hopefully healthy for my kids when they grow up. But I agree with your list and the places where you have biggest chance for success with romance. And sorry for my english it's not my countries language but rather something we learn in school.
I joined this group in DC for people in their 20s and 30s. It’s a great group, and each Saturday they have a different activity. You meet people from many backgrounds, it’s great to get a different perspective in life from other people. Who knows I can possibly meet my future wife in that group.
@@peterpalashevky7423 the last few times I’ve hanged with them, there hasn’t been any political discussions. At work I hear polítics often, but so far they do a good job keeping politics out of a social setting in my opinion.
I was born and raised in Seattle, so obviously different regions have different OUTDOOR activities. Hiking is one such activity, with a similar group out here. Does your group also provide day hike opportunities? One good location that's often used in these, is called Piccolo Pete Peak, in Enumclaw, about 20 miles Southeast of Seattle.
The point is you are the exception not the rule. Most guys don’t want to date girls at strip clubs or if they do they end up getting cheated on. Girls who strip are usually crazy.
I usually do "cold approach". I easily socialize with anyone all the time as part of my daily life, so I include approaching women as part of this. This has become easier over time.
Courtney definitely nailed it for me at 1:18. I wish this video existed a few years ago . If you don’t want to get with a party girl stop going to festivals and other party like environments .It was so simple .
As soon as you said the gym, I *knew* you were gonna say 50/50. But I'm glad because, from my personal experience, I've approached several women at the gym more than any place. Never go to bars or clubs, and I'm concerned about approaching other women in other public because I don't want to be labeled as a perverted creep. My life is just home, work, gym and that's it, really. Really don't have much of a life. Speaking of work, yeah..., I'm trying real hard not to hit on anyone. Despite being somewhat flirty, I really don't want to lose my job because of my feelings. But that's a good list. Thanks!
Seriously, us perverts have our own ways of meeting other perverts. If you are a pervert, you would know this already. Chances are, you are not a pervert, so, respectively talk to people in public, if you feel motivated to do so. You will be alright. 😁
I’m 25 and have been out of school for 3 years now, but I regret not trying to get out and meet new people more in college. I was an engineering major, so very few women in my classes, and I’m not very outgoing so I just accepted that I wouldn’t really know any women despite seeing them around campus. Now I have a great engineering job but i never see women anywhere and don’t really have a ton of time to go out of my way to do so.
man im 24 and can relate i did finance but exact same circumstances as you, im just trying to get involved in activities out of work like going to learn new language class, gym and looking to start boxing or jiu jitsu.
Hang in there. Engineers look better with age. I was in a similar position. Do what she says, get into groups, so you can open up and get out of that technical shell. My wife's dad was an engineer, too.
music major but same. They just dont exist i swear to god, even when i got to a bar or something just to try to be social they only go in groups not interested in randoms talking to them. And forget meeting at rehearsals and gigs, they're all taken years ago
Good video. I think this is spot on. But I will say, the exception being work. A lot of medical professionals date each other. We understand the schedule and grind, so I guess that's a thing. But I understand what you mean.
One thing to add to your school point that is pretty cool is that people can go to college at whatever age. Its not exclusively a young persons gig, though it's mostly the young that are there. I remember when i went to a university in my 20s (I'm 36 now), there was a student in his 50s. He was really cool.
*It’s so true that the right environment makes all the difference when meeting women. Casual places like coffee shops or bookstores are way better than bars, where it's hard to build a genuine connection.*
Love your content and your presentation; in fact today on my drive home from work I listened to your last four podcasts and your relaxing voice and interesting content helped the drive go really quickly and helped calm down from a relatively stressful day.
The one thing to bear in mind about work, is that something like 30% of married couples met their partner at or through work. Given that fact, ruling out work entirely seems unwise. My best friend from school met his wife at work. Extra care is needed, is all.
I've dated coworkers before until what Courtney described happened to me once and never dated a coworker ever again. Luckily it didn't get messy to the point of impacting our jobs, but it sucked big time for a while having to not only see her everyday but she began dating another coworker.
The good thing about online dating is that it eliminates the awkward nerve-wracking approach in real life you have to make. You can start a conversation when you like without either of you feeling pressured in the moment. Im currently in a relationship with someone I met online for 5 years
@@lockyp204 I think there are two parts to an answer for you. As usual, I write way too much; I just can't help it. But first, let me state this: If you're going to just going to tell me what an idiot I am, go ahead - I can use the laugh. 1. If you're using a dating website or app, online conversation shouldn't really require anything other than normal conversational skills. Just talk about stuff - things you have in common. Help the conversation along by asking questions. If it's going well, asking her out should be fairly simple - "What would you think about meeting for coffee?" The worst you'll get is a no, but if the back-and-forth has gone on for a few volleys, there's likely some interest on her part, otherwise she would have let the conversation die. Then set the date up; try to find a place close to her, but also ask if she has any place in mind she really likes. Just don't make her choose a place - that's your job. In my case, if we've had five or six rounds of conversation (sometimes even less), I don't think I've ever had a woman say no to coffee. Don't ask right away, and definitely wait a bit - sometimes conversations just wither, and it's nothing you did or didn't do. In my experience it's not uncommon for the woman to ask me out for coffee. I estimate that about 20% of the women I've actually been on dates with lately have asked me out rather than the other way around. But don't think I'm some Romeo - all my dates in recent months have only been first dates, other than with one woman. I've got a third date with one woman this Friday. 2. Let's say you end up meeting someone for lunch. Just remember one thing - _it_doesn't_matter._ It's just coffee with someone who happens to be a woman. You have nothing to prove, so be yourself and don't worry about special conversational skills for dating. Talk, answer, ask and listen - all four are parts of a good conversation. (Especially the asking and listening part. People LOVE it when you show interest in them, even outside of dating. But actually LISTEN, and if you can, ask follow-up questions.) Don't talk too much. Don't talk too little. Aim for 50%, maybe a little less. Sometimes there just won't be a vibe, spark, connection, whatever you want to call it, and it's not your fault or her fault - it just happens sometimes. (I had two first dates last year where I did almost all the talking, including asking questions. I just couldn't get much conversation out of them. I even tried waterboarding.) Here's some additional advice - hopefully you wanted it - about meeting a woman for the first time. The golden rule, as I see it, is to make sure she feels safe physically and emotionally. This silver rule is to make her feel _slightly_ pampered. The bronze rule is to not let yourself taken unfairly advantage of. (Being taken advantage of might be less likely with women my age since they've already built careers for themselves and don't need to be gold-diggers.) If it's comfortable for you, ask if she's okay with a hug. I know it sounds dorky, but it's important. Some dates I've had have been okay with it, others haven't, but by asking, I didn't offend them. If they say no, shake hands if it seems the right thing to do, and if you don't know what to do, don't do anything - simple! As you're getting ready to order coffee, have your wallet already out. I'd say that in about two-thirds of the cases, the woman will let me buy and be thankful for it. If the woman insists she pays for her own, you could ask one time only, something like "Are you sure? I like to treat when I can." If the answer is still no, go with it. If you can, carry both coffees to the table. Then, if you can get to the table in time to set the coffees down, pull the chair out for her. I'm a bit slow just because I'm a lovable dork, so my dates often get to the table before me. I don't think they notice, or if they do, I don't think they care. And if they care, they didn't tell me and they probably aren't the kinds of women I should be with. To be honest, I really don't think they even notice. If I make a casual apology for being slow, they actually seem a bit surprised I'd even think to do that for them. Thirty years ago I could barely croak the words out to ask a woman on a date. I'd been more confident in my 20s, and I have no idea what happened. But when I started dating post-divorce, it was much easier because all my dates were with women I met using dating apps. That made asking them out a lot easier; simple dates like going for coffee helped, too. However, I felt really shy and nervous about initiating physical contact of _any_ kind. Eventually, I just decided to do it. I don't go overboard with first dates - just putting my hand on the small of their back to "help" guide them onto a curb or through a door (they obviously don't need the help). If the situation just doesn't seem right for that small bit of contact, I don't do it. I've never had anyone ask (or tell!) me to stop, so either my keen senses of chivalry is finely-tuned, or they're just being nice by not slapping my face. Last thing. If she's cold, put your damned jacket over her shoulders! Don't give it to her and let her put it on (unless you sense some resistance). Putting the jacket on her shoulders or putting your hand on the small of her back when going through doors is a subtle way to make physical contact, and it's easy to back out of if there's an objection to it. A quick apology will work for anyone other than someone who completely overreacts, which is just a tiny (meaning gigantic, humongous, colossal, Godzilla-like) red flag.
@@FirstLast-cd6vv What's your definition of "normal?" If "awkward nerve-wracking" is normal, what's the downside to abnormal online dating? I can think of some upsides. First you can see more women in a shorter amount of time so your chances of getting a good match are pretty good, as long as you have patience. (I hate to liken it to grocery shopping, but it kind of feels that way sometimes.) Second, when you _do_ see someone you're interested in, you can read her profile to see if there are any good or bad things for you in it. I don't know what you'd consider online dating success to be, but since the end of this May or early June, I've been on well over 10 dates. (And I've had probably three or four times that number of ignored "likes," maybe even more than that. The failures don't count, but the successes do.) Other than one, they've all been just one date, but I'm going on a third date with someone this Friday. Although it's not typical, I had three women contact _me_ yesterday. (Several more, actually, but I wasn't attracted to the others.) I'd say that's some degree of success.
Work is actually a good place so long as neither of you is a job that is long term important to you. Guys don’t get that many opportunities to get proximity to good women. So if it happens to happen at a job that it’s worth the risk, then it’s worth the risk.
For the last twenty-five years most of the women I tried to go out with were from work. Work allows me to get to know the woman on a professional level first, then if she likes me I try to get to know her on a personal level. For me, it’s easier than the cold approach, which I am NOT good at. I’ve been on Zoosk for seven years and, unfortunately, that just is not working for me. Also, I did briefly consider joining a gym, but there is the fear of being labeled a creep or weirdo.
Great video, thanks Courtney! I have started gathering the nerve to strike up conversations at the dog park. It always felt cliche to go "oh hey what type of dog is this?" but after a while I realized it's just a really easy way to initiate a conversation.
There are always exceptions; I met a woman at work (not in the same role or team, so we were never in competition). Her desk was just on the other side of a parttion, so we saw each other a lot. We started dating, and were together for 11 years. Like the video mentions -elsewhere it began with familiarity through regular exposure (I should note I moved on from that company about a year into the relationship, for an unrelated reason). YMMV.
You young people are so lucky to have the internet to go to for answers and help. Back in ancient times when I was in school and suffering from anxiety attacks and other neurosis I had nobody to turn to for help. Now that I'm old and know I missed out I just don't give a shit anymore.
2 caveats of the following: Volunteer work: regional depending, and especially interest dependent. I have tried to sign up for dog shelters, but apparently so is everyone else. The wait list for these orgs is literally years out. Latest one I signed up for was 3 years. Organized events: every other man is thinking the same thing. Most of these social events are sausagefests, with terrible ratios. I'm talking like 10 men for every woman. I've done meetup events for over a decade now, across a variety of activities and interests, and every event is overwhelmingly men. I've tried this in CT and Boston. My theory is that most single women who men would want to persue don't feel the need to go out of their way to find someone. They're likely getting attention (either wanted or unwanted) everywhere else. My sister gets hit on all the time at the grocery store for example, and she's already married. Women who arent even looking for someone, have men thrown at them.
I agree with your first caveat. My parents help at a food bank event monthly. Nearly everyone helping there is a generation older than me and/or married. Unless you are specifically looking for a single mother, volunteering for children's or youth group events rarely has single women. Men are told women like to see potential partners with children or animals, but it is hard to find volunteer organizations where there are wait lists or where you look a bit creepy as a single man. I'm also curious how many single women really volunteer with some of these organizations too. I believe saying you volunteer (and being able to prove it) is a much better as part of selling yourself then being able to actually meet someone at these events.
I live in NYC and it is the same here. most of the social meetup events are mostly guys and the few women that show up are either older, not my type or alot of guys try talking to them at once
Churches are quickly turning into the same situation as gyms. If you're attractive enough, you can get away with asking women out after getting to know them through volunteering or Bible study groups, but lately I see more and more pastors trying to eliminate opportunities like that specifically to prevent single men and women from meeting each other.
What's ironic is, church going people are typically more marriage-minded (at least they should be) , and to equate the church to a gym is apples and oranges.
There are some drop-dead gorgeous women in my church. Who will run to the pastor and his lackeys and demand that he ban you from the community if you so much as say "hello" to them.@@visaman
I would add organized events (conventions, concerts, festivals, tournaments, etc.) as part of the 50/50 category. The reason is because while you are likely to run into someone who shares a common interest as you, they aren't necessarily there to meet people. They're there to have fun and do their own thing. Making connections with people at these events just happens naturally, though 9 times out of 10 it'll result in a friendship or acquaintance and nothing romantic.
No, most people go to certain spots to be seen. So, making connections is done so on purpose. Women go to male spots, men to female spots. Mass makes things less creepy or uncomfortable, but also generic. That's why some serial daters reject dating, because they feel and hate the same spots. Even if you are in a relationsships, you can see all the people having dates at specific spots. Concerts, festivals, restaurants, parks, tournaments or walkways are such places.
@@urlauburlaub2222 If you walk up to people attending such things and ask them why they're there, none of them are gonna say 'I'm here to find love or make friends'. They're there to have fun. If people are dating at these spots, it's because they met elsewhere and are already in a relationship. They didn't meet at that place and spontaneously decide to go on a date.
@@neonnwave1 They go there for possible dating AND having fun! They dress up and let things come to them. Most go there, because it's a generic, but special setting and event, not because the music or else is so good or they love it. That's why women in relationsships go there alone for their attention and getting variety in their places to be, if their boyfriend stays home. They run into people, who validate them and also show pictures later on social-media or their friends. Yes, also commited partners go there. That's not the point. Only very special festivals are not generic but truly fan-driven, and those are either more male or female balanced with the opposite sex being there in a minority. The minority, not the majority, is there mostly also to get dates and that's why people from the majority might get a surprising date. If you are in a relationsship yourself and have your girlfriend with you, you see all the others very clearly in their actions. Serial daters also see this, and reject these environments because of so much dating in the same way.
With a coworker, you can take your time and get to know them little by little if they are quality type people. Promiscous people should be avoided at all costs in a working environment. They are toxic and will ruin relationships on so many different ways. Don't date a co worker if you barely know them.
@@homiesenatepin this 'me too' era you can hardly so much as say hi to them now without it going south quick. And would only take a petty female colleague to make a ridiculous allegation to HR to get you sacked if you's were to get romantically entangled and it didn't end well.
@kanajingly8957Some companies ban relationships from bosses to subordinates. In my own personal perspective I would never date any female bosses. They are not my type when it comes to relationships. I am the leader type but I'm always open to hear my partners opinions and her point of views. Having two bosses in a relationship will never work.
I would say work is a 50/50. You're right that you don't want an awkward situation with someone you see everyday but if you work at a large corporation or institution, asking someone out that works in another department may not be a bad idea. My parents met while both serving in the Navy and have been married 35 years and still going. My in-laws met while they both worked at IBM and are still married at over 20 years together.
True, I recently started working at a big corporation as a callcenter agent. Because plenty of people work at home these days, there isn't any pressure of being around each other too much. But if you do like each other you can sort of hook up at work and if it doesn't work out then there isn't the need to be in contact with each other too much. So it really depends on the job yes.
I did meet my wife in a night club, but it was in England where their night clubs are actually suited for having conversations. They directed the music towards the dance floor but had a lounge atmosphere away from the music and dance floor to easily have a conversation as opposed to some of the night clubs in the U.S. that you could be screaming in their ear and still not hear you.
I exclusively try to cold approach in person. I get numbers from girls but translating a number into successful texting and dates is where the difficulty lies at. Can you make a video on how to approach texting after getting a girls number? I never really have time for texting so I often wonder if it's my texting game that is weak or if women give out their numbers just to give them without intention. Thanks!
You should actually talk on the phone instead of texting. It's easier to be blown off if texting is all you do. Plus, you can hear the woman's tone and there's less chances for your words to be misinterpreted.
Text is horrible for building connection because they're just words on a screen. Any emotion one feels when they read it is what they are projecting onto the screen. It's can also be incredibly time consuming which adds to potential annoyance & fizzling out. Phone calls are definitely superior to text. You can hear the emotion in their voice, responses are real time vs text which can be curated easily, gauge conversational compatibility & connect way easier in a 15-30 convo vs texting sporadically throughout the day.
When I talk to women in person, I tend to swap numbers after asking her out on date. If she agrees that's when I suggest swapping numbers by ringing each others phones there and then as I explicitly say "I'll call you" to arrange/confirm the details. I also closely watch her body language during that part as it tells me if she will flake or not. The key is to close the deal first before the number.
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽to you men who said that you should call her in the phone. I was thinking the same thing. Matchmaker Patti Stanger says that men fall in love with their eyes and women fall in love with their ears. Give the woman a call, so you can set up a date.
I am a nerdy introvert and I love the club for dancing for exercise lol, i also love it as an introvert, you can choose how much you talk. Oh and I don't drink. I feel bad approaching at a cafe if they look busy doing homework. I can't think of places I frequent... lol
Hi Courtney! I like to ask you about one thing. In today's day and age 50% of people are absolutely addicted to their phones, staring down into them like they are obsessed or something! It looks so disturbing and really makes it difficult for natural conversations to happen! Any advice? Thank you! / Daniel
I'd say lounges, holistically, are objectively best place to meet anyone. Most of the other locations all require very specific hobbies/desires and that typically won't be for everyone. Whereas a nice lounge+bar, hotel lobby, etc. is something generally everyone can get into, and you're more likely to meet someone on travel, etc. who is actually looking to interact with interesting folk (and not be standoffish).
Can confirm volunteering is a great way to meet potential partners. Also a great way to weed out people you know wouldn’t work out even if there is chemistry.
2:40 I am male, born in Seattle in 1973. I FULLY agree: WORK is not a good place. Let me just say this: At my own place of work, I have seen people go from "loving their jobs, being highly regarded, and being well-compensated," to HATING working here, in an instant: That's because, they courted somebody of the opposite sex, got rejected, and now they feel embarrassed and humiliated, and they feel like everybody else is judging and laughing at and making fun of them. I DO care about both sides, and if I as a male, asked out a female colleague, I feel for how awkward SHE would always feel around me, after she rejected me. I'm not saying "Don't ever date co-workers." BUT, she would have to bring FIVE times as much to the table, for me to take that risk, considering a failed pursuit could cause me to quit (out of embarrassment).
I asked a woman from work out and got rejected. I just accepted her answer and moved on. I still see her around, treat her like everyone else. What do other's think? I really don't give a shit. I asked her because I wanted to know. I wanted closure. I didn't want to be left wondering. Now I can move on. I didn't respond angrily to her rejection. That would just validate her rejection, leaving her feeling as if she'd dodged a bullet. Instead, she may be privately feeling she made a mistake. Either way, she won't be asked again. She said no the first time.
@@noelgibson5956 Noel Gibson, that's great!! Great that you have the resiliency, that I WISH that I had. You're likely much younger than me, and I admit, even at 50, I would still be mortified, thinking that other people were laughing at me. With online dating, I tried to take rejections as "It's nothing worse than being a good defender in basketball, and getting scored on. You just have to pick yourself up and move forward." I've also been on the OTHER side of it, too: I'm Japanese-American. A 1978 born Cambodian-American widow (2017) started showing interest in me in 2015! (her late husband started drinking, and it's believed he died in 2017 from a drinking-related illness). Then, a Thai woman, born in 1978 too, literally 4'6", who had a daughter in 1997 (and now THAT daughter has a child), showed interest in me, which I never reciprocated. (Nothing at all wrong with being gay, to preface) Then, this 5'2", 57 year old in 2023 Vietnamese man, who HAS a domestic partner already, has ogled me since he started here in 2006. My POINT: All three of these people are visibly bitter with me. It's obvious and palpable. We're all human first and foremost, and very few humans take rejection gracefully. But, I still give YOU a ton of credit, as I'm confident the woman you asked out is a quality woman, and it just didn't work out. I wish that you, and others at my office, had your ability to "put it behind us, and not care if people are laughing at and making fun of us."
@@noelgibson5956 Noel Gibson, let's continue this civil discussion, because I really respect your takes. Others are free to chime in, too. Please read about the Cambodian and Thai women that "I didn't reciprocate interest in, at work," in my post before this. I mean this will all sincerity, and as a compliment to you: I really wish that you could teach those two women, and the Vietnamese man, how "not to feel and act bitter, and just move on." I'm not going to bombard you and everybody else with EVERY "hit on" story from my work, but going back to 2001, when I was 28, a then 33 year old woman REALLY "aggressively made her move" to me. And, she was visibly devastated, when she knew that we were not going to date. Maybe, you owe YOURSELF a ton of credit, for not holding grudges, and "not letting perceived embarrassment and taunting" get to you. I sure couldn't do that.
Thank you for everything you do on your channel…. Love a women when she’s in your natural role 😍😍 she glows so much that all these “exotic models “ be so jealous and wonder why men love these women more than them
Ive been to a few weddings where they met at work. I noticed a trend among them. None of them have the remote mindset of what modern dating has become. Its almost old school. I also noticed they had very modest expectations or simple lives and really didnt engage much at work other than lunch. They werent on the same team or department so work was still seperate meaning a level of separation or distance Between them. Only one was actually on the same team. Would i normally risk it in todays culture? It would be dangerous but not because of me. So if you do try work...the safest is to keep work at work. And personal outside to increase your odds and talk at the beginning being clear on your wanting for a long term relationship and how you both want to navigate the work space otherwise you're setting yourself up for destructive tendencies. NOW If you go in with hook up culture mind or are iffy about wanting a long term relationship..just stop...stay the hell away from your work environment because its a definite failure waiting to happen.
Hi, Courtney! Great comprehensive vid! Really like the hows and the whys regarding the best & worst places. One place you forgot to mention is the health food store. For some reason or another there's always more women than men there. (About 70% women - 30% men). Apart from this, the women seem to be (generally speaking) more health conscious and more into things like meditation, eg. So the long awaited sequel to the classic 'male bashing on a sunny sunday afternoon' is definitely not on display. Which makes for an easy & smooth chat. For example, I saw a woman unapologetically smelling a mango before my eyes. She just couldn't stop smelling it. So I walked up to her and asked her why she was doing that. She said, It's a great way to check whether a mango is really ripe or not. So I then said to her, Let me try then. How should I go about this? Can you teach me how to smell a mango? And she did. And we continued talking very smoothly. And now we're married having mangos for breakfast, lunch and dinner...NO! Just kidding!😂 It was just a casual, fun encounter. The bottom line is, to me this place is highly underestimated. Or maybe I should try smell a beer or something in a bar. Maybe women would just instantly glom on to me. Who knows.😂 Keep shining! Cheers!✌
There's overlapping traits between work and some of the best options. If you work in a field that you're passionate about, it's a common point of interest that speaks to shared values and guarantees time for interactions. Of course, that also means in the relationship sours, the environment becomes a possible point of contention not only applying to work but your favourite cafe/lounge or dog park or volunteer placement. There's also that unfair trope where guys get blamed for bringing women to the same first or favourite date location; mind you, just because you meet them there doesn't mean you have to date them there. All the same(ish), you can run into that ex at a spot you frequent -and it could be while engaging with a new potential love interest. School might've been the last great option because of the principles CR used to for ranking the ideal places, but I have outside criteria that I would bring in beyond her own point against school. Depending on the type of school and program and class sizes etc., the frequency and ease of interaction might actually be very/too high which carries the previous draw backs. Primarily, the outside criteria point is on hypergamy; if you're at the same level of education and age and finances then relating comes easy but so does the friendzone. If you're a returning student and/or older whilst still being slightly ahead in life development (maybe in a separate study altogether but same building with careers that will fall into the same industry), that's your optimal environment. There are definitely a general list of bad venues and environments, but I believe in a society where women don't feel the pressure to or have the know how to signal approachability to men (-with the burden of approaching being on men), the risk and dangers to men will always be present from the worst to the best of options. That's why it's the burden of approaching. It seems to be by natures design that men have to put themselves in social danger to create a sexual or romantic or even a platonic relationship with a woman. Great women and the women for you go to a few different places, I believe it's about deciding on where and when you're willing to take that risk. Underrated spots: 2nd closest grocery stores, 1st or 2nd closest department stores, and any mall. People allot themselves sufficient time to shop, but if they haven't, it'll be evident. There's an abundant amount of questions that can be asked -without getting too personal and if you're practiced with determining a person's values. It's less oriented to unplanned acquaintance making (relative to all of CR's good and 50/50 locations), but you have a much better vantage point to gauge whether the individual's worth your time/attention/money. It can even be an incentive for spending time in places that are conducive to good decision making; better making a point to do that extra bit of groceries, replace that thing that needs replacing (dept store), and even just keeping up with you local economic activity with prices on any and everything at the mall and maybe even make a competitive purchase -all over treating yourself to starbucks when you just wanted to go on a "cutie with character" hunt
I met my wife on a telephone dating site. This was pre-internet, where we had mailboxes to leave messages for one another. I was on it off and on, from 1994 to 1998 and spent $1,000. We celebrate our silver wedding anniversary this December.
I’m someone who’s tried approaching women in gym & while I do know the downside along-with the social media trend of men-shaming. It was like the only place I see women or have a chance to try. Also while it’s true that some women might not like it happening in the gym & the awkwardness of seeing them again. But it can be overcome once u develop confidence that ur doing the right thing. On the bright side, there are some who do like it, so the only way is to try !!!… :-)
Thank you for the amazing content. Guys I have been ultra shy my whole life but implementing her steps game changer life changers she is the real deal. Now just have to step up skin care. Every one have safe 3 day weekend your amazing Courtney
Become a man of integrity, abundance, character and discernment. When you become that, there is no bad place to meet women. There is only what you attract and wjat you repel. Period.
I've met quite a lot of amazing, wonderful women at my church! The problem is that all their husbands are still alive... I still think the premise is sound, I just need to start going to a bigger church.
Great video and excellent ideas! Hopefully people continue to do these activities as more and more people work from home, work out at home, forgo volunteering and coffee shops to stay in and watch Netflix. You can go out and be social but do not be surprised if the vast majority of people you meet out in the world have their heads buried in their phones instead of looking up at making connections with people.
I prefer online dating. There's no question that the person is looking for someone. The only challenge is to find out if you're that person. You can skip all the hesitation and doubts about talking to someone.
Online dating gets tough and I wouldn't recommend it for everyone because you'll want physical touch and your partner will be distant. If there's intentions to see each other soon, then I would recommend giving it a chance, if not...well it's gonna be difficult.
@@Danny328DT Yeah, I wouldn't be in it if the ultimate goal wasn't to meet someone. Still, it's been very enlightening. You definitely rise above simphood. It's valuable experience.
Hello Ms "Ryan". I heard you say "husband" twice! I take it the knot has officially been tied! If so, the CONGRATULATIONS to you both (in this day & age I would normally side eye the guy for getting married but I believe he's got himself a winner)!
Sorry, If I meet my dream woman, who is beautiful and really likes me, and shares my values, I'm not going to not ask her out because she works in the same place I do
Try this , and i did this yesterday , it works , from watching courtneys fragrance videos ive started everytime i go into the city i pick up 1 or 2 bottles of aftershave , not always expensive ones , just when i,m doing a bit of shopping , then if you go for coffee or lunch in a cafe / bar if its not too busy ask the waitress,s opinion on the aftershave ( every woman likes a nice scent ) great coversation starter, theyll say to themselves this guy takes care of himself etc etc, it puts you in a good light, this is the sort of thing i get up to when i have time off , ha ha
I agree with the majority of the list except work. I think it can be classed as 50/50. My parents have met through work and I've met my present girlfriend via it. It's down to making sure they're stable and there's space. It helps working in different departments and in my case she was a client.
There’s a dating coach I worked with earlier this year. She talks about places that are low stigma/low pressure and high specificity being the best places to approach women. That way when you approach her it’s a very natural setting to do so.
Almost everyone I know met their spouse at school, while I met nothing but failure. Now I'm 33 and have zero options because theres nobody at church, I work from home, and the only place I can afford to live is an hour away from everything. It sucks.
@@s7a7yC I'd have to move to another state. I'm living with my parents, and the rent they're charging is less than half what the next cheapest thing is.
I'm 38 and single, I live in the remote countryside, work from home, there aren't many places where you can meet women here (though the options are not non-existent), and I actually quite like being a loner. Working on my car, doing some gardening, taking a long walk in the countryside, having some whisky while sitting next to the fireplace. I guess one important detail is that I was married a while back and am divorced (and have been in a couple of not so good relationships since then), so that's what might've made me appreciate the lonely life. Don't feel too bad, dude. This might be a bit cliche, but perhaps just go full red pill and really work on yourself and your career and let that be your main focus. I understand that when you're alone it can get lonely, but I've had more than enough experience to realize that relationships are overrated.
You are doing a great job pushing for relationship! Hats off. But with all the feminism around, I am sure that most men feel it's a dead end to even start a conversation. But respect to you for trying. Love your channel, it's full of sweetness. Much needed in this time and age.
Overall great video! The only things that are a double-edged sword is your favorite coffee/restaurant amd school. If the coffee/restaurant is a place you like to go for whatever reason why potentially ruin it with approaching women? School is for school not for relationships, you're there ro build yourself up. I have met women everywhere under the sun from grocery stores, traveling, and on transportation. Its not hard, but people make it harder than it needs to be. Also probably due to what I do for work in strategic communications and public speaking.
My young adult son is joining a tennis club. He isn't a great player but fairly sporty and willing to learn. He has never had a girlfriend at university as have none of his male friends. It is just a place he thinks will be relaxed and an activity young adult women are likely to be in larger numbers than men. I would also say formal dancing classes are similar. Great way to keep fit too.
Hey! I love Joey Swoll! He's the dude! I love him! He's the reason why I don't get scared to go to the gym anymore. On another note: I only dated twice in high school. I didn't talk to the girls much most of them were too......bizzare acting for my liking.
Good list, other than the work part. If you work for a large company and both of your positions do not overlap (i.e you work in different parts of the company) work might be a great place to meet someone.
Shared interest is by far the best. My wife met a bunch of people at the dog park back when we had one. Not for a date I assume, but much easier to start a convo. Same for the acoustic room of a guitar store if you play one. Most women aren’t just looking for A guy, they’re looking for THE guy.
honestly you can find the right person anywhere. I know people who are happily married to people they met at a club, bar, a house party, and even weird places. i know one couple they met because they sat next to each other on a plane ride back home.
What you're saying is realistic, I've experienced some of it, I wished I were wiser in the past, I made many dumb things while dating I lacked self awareness among other things. Regrets never help, I must go on ... I have no other option.
I agree. Whoever invents the Time Machine is going to do well for themselves just selling to regular guys who want to do things better the second time through.
@@pfmcdermott1 Nice one... a time machine definitely would be an ingenious idea , I would travel back to fix what went wrong, apologize to my girlfriend, and come back....great!
WTF? This guy has as much right to find someone to love as anyone else. I can't speak for myself, but as a single parent you probably take your child/children to your local park to play. This goes back to the daily routine where they may be other single parents with their children.
@@728huey The negative impact of bringing in other adults into a child's life has been well established. Let's also keep in mind that finding someone isn't a right, it's just a privilege.
@@MikeyP109 So what? That's not the point. And who are you to judge this single parent? You don't know this person's situation. You don't even know if this is a single mom or dad. And you don't even know why they are single. (Maybe the other person cheated on them; maybe the other person went to prison or rehab; maybe that other person died.) And just because they are a single parent doesn't mean they stop being human, with the same desires and needs for companionship. So you need to stop being so judgmental of people you don't know and focus on yourself.
We like to end the videos on positivity 😊 Okay, what is the best way to approach a women then?😮 This is one of your good better videos ❤ i like how you did a 50/50 category
personally i think online dating is the absolute worst because your online persona is most likely very different to your offline persona and likewise goes for the person you're gonna meet so it's truly dating blindly. as for places in the real world i think any place is as good as any, but you just have to be mindful. for example you can go to a night club and find someone but don't just randomly hook up and expect things to work out relationship wise, it very rarely if ever does. but you can find someone if you take the time to take it a little bit slow, you can get frisky but don't get too frisky is all i'm saying, put them on the stretcher and see how they are a bit outside of the club because it is a very elevated state you are in when you are there. but my personal favourites is the extended friend group scenario, like a friend of a friend or "daily routine spot" a place where you aren't married to that spot but you go there a lot and there are other people there, you can get yourself comfortable and understand who's going there often, who's not etc so both of these places offers you a bit of control but also meeting new people. but as is i think any place is good as any as long as you got your wits about you.
Many years ago, I met my wife when a friend dragged me to a nightclub (definitely not my thing). The woman who would become my wife was also there because her friend dragged her there and we chanced to meet. We were married for 34 years until I lost her, late last year, to cancer.
In my opinion, the nightclub and the gym are easily the worst places to meet women. One is an environment where most of the women there aren't high quality women, and the other is simply a trap for men to end up in a TikTok accusing them of being creeps. The best places are bookstores, coffee shops, libraries, and Target. Women and Target are synonymous with one another.
The gym thing is hideously overblown. Just talk to *people* at the gym, not just the women and not just the ones you find attractive. It can be a great place to make friends.
Best places for me to meet people. 1. House party 2. Board games club 3. Dance class / dance club You said nightclubs aren't great to meet people, but I believe ballroom and latin dancing are solid places
Great video! A lot of great ideas for places! I'm actually joining a local gym next month, so we'll see if I end up meeting anyone. Maybe I'll get lucky and she'll start a conversation with me first 😄. Thanks for covering :)
The important thing to remember when meeting a woman is to be confident and be well-mannered. Also, have a good (appropriate) joke ready because a punchline can set a positive tone. Good luck, fellas and stay cool!
Hi Courtney, before I make another suggestion on where to meet. I would like to say out of all the dating couches(correct me if that's the wrong title) on RUclips or anywhere, you are by far THE VERY BEST. I love your wisdom, articulation, understanding, and your good nature that creates such great atmosphere. I'll take forever if I continue. Another great place to meet is a place of Worship like Church, Mosque, Temple, etc. Perhaps it also falls in the same category as "Organized Groups". What do you think?
I’ve been married quite a while and I was just interested to watch your video just for fun. I do have some single guy friends. Very glad I’m not out in the dating world, but it was interesting To get your perspective. Another great way to meet people is through friends. Instant connection. As far as the hobbies go, I started my own storytelling group, not to meet somebody to date obviously, But to connect with my local community.
Your presentation style in this one was very amusing & intriguing. Very different too. Definitely keep it up! 😃If you were being more like yourself than that’s awesome!
I met my partner while dog walking. As our dogs ran around playing ,we chatted while walking with them and quietly got to know each other with each successive dog walking session. By the fourth dog walk we agreed on meeting for a date, and the rest is history..
I met my Korean wife when I was in the US Army working at the Incheon International airport in South Korea. She was working at a restaurant, been married 14 happy years.
I met my late wife in a bar. She was 17 and a HS senior. I was 23 and a sailor. We ended up being married for 61 years.
I assume you had to be the one to approach her and ask her out
At 17? But different times. Back then women were woman and men for Men
I am very sorry for your loss. My wife and I were also very young (I was 18, she was 20), when we met in an under-21 nightclub. We met that night because, by chance, both of our friends dragged us there. We were married for 34 years. Unfortunately, I lost her to cancer last year.
The 80s were fun.
@@ABQSentinel oh that's sad to hear I'm really sorry for your loss but it's great that you are able to feel love and give back to your wife. Many men these can't get that. Best of luck
Worst places:
0:30 Nightclub
2:20 Strip Club
2:49 Work
50/50 spots (could be good, could be bad)
4:42 Online dating
5:29 The gym
Best places
8:02 Cafe/Lounge
8:55 Daily routine spot
10:47 Volunteering
11:43 Organized group
12:25 School
I would add to this list, if you are at all religious, some sort of religous gathering, such as a church or Bible study. In America at least, with a single exception, every single denomination has more women than men. You're likely to meet some wholesome single young ladies lamenting how hard it is to find a guy because of the gender imbalance. Note though that these young ladies will want a religious guy themselves, so if you aren't this is likely a waste of time.
Here's one I'll add: sporting events. This has its pros and cons, but rooting for same team is a nice common interest.
@@lawrence31415 Pretty sure that fits in the Organized group categorie
Lol...make sure you are a student at the school. Just hanging around schools is very creepy. Means once you are out of school I problem wouldn't count that as an option.
Have tried the dating sites, have tried singles get together, hell I even had a radio DJ friend of mine invite me on the air to try to get me a date. None worked. Singles get togethers...last one I went to only one interested in me was pushing 70. Argh!!!!
Thank you, especially the last part. 🙏
interesting! A friend of mine is looking for a traditional wife and he's approaching women in religious circles though he isn't very religious himself. He has had quite the success even, since even though he isn't a Christian, most of their secular values align.
About 90% of the people on tinder are only looking to hookup. Not really a place to find quality people.
Things have really changed since I was on there LOL
That depends on which country u are living in
Yeah, I much prefer talking to people in person, no Photoshop to mislead you and make a better impression
@CourtneyRyan so glad you found the person for you. I've heard of several marriages stemming from tinder. Thanks for the positive messages and work for your videos.
To most people searching for that kind of commitment they should avoid that platform.
I will.
No, more than half the people on Tinder are only there for entertainment or validation. Maybe half of the rest are looking for hookups.
I met my wife through ballroom school, I was experienced dancer while she was a beginner
Partnering up with her during social parties worked a treat
This is so sweet!
@CourtneyRyan yes dancing is the best ice breaker , but also is the most effective tool for confidence
The username 😂
I met my wife the same way, through dancing. We've been married 42 years and we still dance. I have seen many others partner up through dance, it is a very nonthreatening way for men and women to meet. Doesn't have to be ballroom, though that is what I do. It can be country dancing, salsa dancing, swing dancing. There are groups for all styles of dance. Generally more women than men, so guys it is a great place to be. I have always said that the wars between the sexes would be greatly diminished if more people danced.
Women do love a man who can dance
I met my wife at a coffee house that I frequented, so spot on there. It also helped a lot that she was sitting at a table with 2 other people who I knew from school, so +2. I'd probably have never talked to her if I didn't feel like I had an "in."
More places to meet women:
-Church
-Shopping Centers
-Walking down the street (urban areas)
-Any kind of meet-up event
-Concerts
-Traveling
You mean like shopping malls?
Yeah shopping centre is a mall and church also inahree with, or to generalise, place of worship. Obviously this applies to people who practise their religion and I like it because it puts you in a place where those around you have similar to same core values by virtue of sharing common religion.
@@notoriousmigz2427 exactly
@tradcathsspx that is true, I'm not saying it's a guarantee but I think it helps make it easier to find ppl with same values.
Same thing I said before. If you have a favorite place and you date someone you meet there, odds are, your relationship with the places sours or ends when your relationship with the woman does.
It might be odd, but I met half of the women that I dated at the grocery store. It was always easy to start a conversation and based on what they were buying it was pretty easy to tell if we would have anything in common or not. Plus, I discovered that women like men that cook.
How did you do that! Ram your shopping cart into hers? 😉
It's also great, as a man, to meet women at Trader Joe's (if they're in your area), because you BOTH will be impressed with each other, that you "like to eat healthy." Trader Joe's is mostly healthy foods.
What the hell do you have to buy in order to have something in common? I understand it may works in order to "reject" someone (for instance if she buys lots of alcohol and you do not drink) but how to find a connection by that. I mean I buy very regular staff, not specially healthy food nor anything else
@@pablor.cuadrado5464 hang out in the produce aisle, and ask if you can squeeze her melons.
@@visaman One of things that you could do is play dumb and ask a woman if they know where a particular item is? And then go from there.
Important things:
1. Worst meeting places: 0:25 First Things - Nightclub; 2:13 Second Thing - Strip Club; 2:44 Third Thing - Work;
2. 50:50 amount of meeting places: 4:38 First Thing - Online Dating; 5:25 Second Thing - The Gym;
3. Best meeting places: 7:55 First Thing - Cafe / Lounge; 8:51 Second Thing - Daily Routine Spots; 10:41 Third Thing - Volunteering; 11:34 Fourth Thing - Organized Group; 12:21 Fifth Thing - School (better to be called college, or faculty) (but it can be partly like 50:50, like it or not), and 14:22 to summarize all the told here.
Among the best meeting places where you can meet people, that can be also a You Tube (although I was firstly a bit skeptical when doing it for the first time. But I'm trying to be cautious, cause to someone can be 50:50 chances)
Where do we meet people, that would be a topic that can be discussed, and it won't end, because there are many places where can we meet people.
As for me I'm old fashion person since I don't like meeting online or on Tinder (cause I'm very cautious). But that doesn't mean I don't want to hang out.
Organized groups can really help you not just to meet a soulmate, but it can surely help you meet other people that are showing interests in some hobbies. I had a chance to meet one guy on You Tube that he did a model kit, and he showed it on his channel. I liked the way he did that model kit, and we supported each others channels. Also we exchanged the emails, and sometimes we talk threw Skype (although he's from Japan, and I'm from Balkan Peninsula). And also my channel is dedicated to hobby modeling, since I like doing model kits (but that can be some other topic that we can discuss about it) (if you are interested, you're willing to check it out). Believe it or not I also had a chance to meet someone on the Organized Groups. I think that I have mentioned that a couple of times in some of your videos Courtney. I had a chance to meet women that are interested in hobby model kits, toy cars, and Lego's. Sometimes we talk and make conversations, and we help each other in talking about the tips, suggestions, etc.
Lets boycott on sex gentlemen because women are not valuable, not all women effect by this though.#instagram
@@waltermyers8891 I beg your pardon?!
@@waltermyers8891 1Timothy 4:1: _"....in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils;"_
1Timothy 4:2: _"Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron;"_
1Timothy 4:3: _"Forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats,..."_
@@waltermyers8891Um.. no sir
the 50-50 meeting places should be timestamped at 5:05, not 50:50.. or if u dont intend to timestamp it, just put - instead of : in 50 50
otherwise great work, king 👑
This is something I've been discussing with my friends. Thank you for covering this!
Thanks for being here!
I met a girl in one of my clubs in college. She’s a doll. Our club went to a Diamondbacks, and she loves baseball, but that was only the 2nd ever baseball game she’s been to. She’s a Giants fan (I’m a Giants fan too), and I asked her to come to another game with me, and she said for sure. I’m hoping it’ll work out.
Your living my dream haha, good luck
Of the major professional sports, BASEBALL seems to be the one best geared towards young attractive desirable women! Born and raised in Seattle, I can attest to that, regarding Mariners games. And, most MLB stadiums are so state-of-the-art, with great food amenities, that add to the dating experience.
She's lying. She doesn't love baseball and will nag you to stop after marriage.
@ericlarousse1149 wow, while that's possible, hopefully not. My buddy loved baseball, and his wife likes watching it with him all the time. Did while dating too. Sometimes women are honest. Sometimes they're not.
awww adorable! I wish you luck and it would go well
I met my current partner at the gym. I was 29 and she was 20. I had seen her for several years at that gym and we talked to each other sometimes since she is a very social person. I knew she had a boyfriend since she had been training there with him for several years. But for several months she was coming to the gym alone since they had broken up earlier just that I didn't know it. The reason is that they were going to different places in the country because of studies and they figured long distance relationship would not work.
Anyway she approached me at the gym and I thought she just wanted to chat a bit but instead she asked me: "When are you going to ask me out for a date?" with a smile on her face. I was quite shocked since I didn't expect that question at all but I gathered myself pretty quickly. She is beautiful and I find her very attractive so I asked if she was free during the weekend and the rest is history.
And now we have been together for 10 years. Two and a half year ago our first child was born (daughter) and half a year ago our second child was born (another daughter). She has been a stay at home mom 100% of the time since the first child and she loves it. She is a educated nurse but it's a stressful job and she says she would rather stay at home and take care of the household and kids then work. I have a good income and strong finances which allow that to be a possibility.
She also wants more kids and a even bigger family. And has been hinting that with the next child (third one) she doesn't want to give birth at a hospital. She would rather be home and deliver the child there together with experienced nurse-midwife then another round at the hospital. Which is frightening I must say if some complications should arise. I just tell her ok and that we have to be quick about it since I'm getting old (Became 39 years old during summer this year). As I want to be around and hopefully healthy for my kids when they grow up.
But I agree with your list and the places where you have biggest chance for success with romance. And sorry for my english it's not my countries language but rather something we learn in school.
I joined this group in DC for people in their 20s and 30s. It’s a great group, and each Saturday they have a different activity. You meet people from many backgrounds, it’s great to get a different perspective in life from other people. Who knows I can possibly meet my future wife in that group.
But what about the politics? Washington?
@@peterpalashevky7423 the last few times I’ve hanged with them, there hasn’t been any political discussions. At work I hear polítics often, but so far they do a good job keeping politics out of a social setting in my opinion.
I was born and raised in Seattle, so obviously different regions have different OUTDOOR activities. Hiking is one such activity, with a similar group out here. Does your group also provide day hike opportunities? One good location that's often used in these, is called Piccolo Pete Peak, in Enumclaw, about 20 miles Southeast of Seattle.
Having something in common really helps. A friend of mine met his wife of 23 years in rehab.
I met my fiancée at work. But I was an external consultant in South Korea and she was my interpreter. You could make a cheesy K-drama out of it 😂
Glad nothing was "Lost in Translation" :). Sorry I could not resist but all kidding aside, glad you met your fiancee.
Met a girl at a strip club, hooked up, then we worked together for 5 years. Made 26 years this year. Sometimes you make the universe work for you.
Been there as well... Really, it doesn't matter where you meet a person. If you're into each other & the timing is right, that's all you need.
Ben affleck: The world only makes sense, when you force it to
The point is you are the exception not the rule. Most guys don’t want to date girls at strip clubs or if they do they end up getting cheated on. Girls who strip are usually crazy.
@@taylorsmith9629 he did say sometimes, and did not say always
That’s the exemption not the rule
I usually do "cold approach". I easily socialize with anyone all the time as part of my daily life, so I include approaching women as part of this. This has become easier over time.
awesome man
That’s true, I approached 3 women last week and got 1 number. We have a date next week.
Shoot your shot fellas, be respectful and cool about it.
There you go. There is nothing to lose.
@@edb484
That’s cool. I guess it’s not really a bad idea. It just takes a lot of courage which I suppose a lot of men sadly don’t have
I developed courage over time. It took quite a while for me. @@GoldenMushroom64
Courtney definitely nailed it for me at 1:18. I wish this video existed a few years ago . If you don’t want to get with a party girl stop going to festivals and other party like environments .It was so simple .
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Yes. I thought I needed to get into bars more in order to meet a girl.
true
She nailed you? Nice! 😂
As soon as you said the gym, I *knew* you were gonna say 50/50. But I'm glad because, from my personal experience, I've approached several women at the gym more than any place. Never go to bars or clubs, and I'm concerned about approaching other women in other public because I don't want to be labeled as a perverted creep. My life is just home, work, gym and that's it, really. Really don't have much of a life. Speaking of work, yeah..., I'm trying real hard not to hit on anyone. Despite being somewhat flirty, I really don't want to lose my job because of my feelings. But that's a good list. Thanks!
Seriously, us perverts have our own ways of meeting other perverts. If you are a pervert, you would know this already.
Chances are, you are not a pervert, so, respectively talk to people in public, if you feel motivated to do so. You will be alright. 😁
Yeah, you don't want to be "that guy" at the gym, chatting up women. You don't want to get that reputation.
@@visaman ha ha true.
@@thishere123 oh..., yeah. You're right.
@@kenrickbautista6141 if one calls you a creep or creepy she's a you know what.
I’m 25 and have been out of school for 3 years now, but I regret not trying to get out and meet new people more in college. I was an engineering major, so very few women in my classes, and I’m not very outgoing so I just accepted that I wouldn’t really know any women despite seeing them around campus. Now I have a great engineering job but i never see women anywhere and don’t really have a ton of time to go out of my way to do so.
man im 24 and can relate i did finance but exact same circumstances as you, im just trying to get involved in activities out of work like going to learn new language class, gym and looking to start boxing or jiu jitsu.
Hang in there. Engineers look better with age. I was in a similar position. Do what she says, get into groups, so you can open up and get out of that technical shell. My wife's dad was an engineer, too.
music major but same. They just dont exist i swear to god, even when i got to a bar or something just to try to be social they only go in groups not interested in randoms talking to them. And forget meeting at rehearsals and gigs, they're all taken years ago
Good video. I think this is spot on. But I will say, the exception being work. A lot of medical professionals date each other. We understand the schedule and grind, so I guess that's a thing. But I understand what you mean.
One thing to add to your school point that is pretty cool is that people can go to college at whatever age. Its not exclusively a young persons gig, though it's mostly the young that are there. I remember when i went to a university in my 20s (I'm 36 now), there was a student in his 50s. He was really cool.
*It’s so true that the right environment makes all the difference when meeting women. Casual places like coffee shops or bookstores are way better than bars, where it's hard to build a genuine connection.*
I love that phrase “ don’t crap where you eat”. I focus on myself in gym and I see several other people such as gym staff dating each other
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Love your content and your presentation; in fact today on my drive home from work I listened to your last four podcasts and your relaxing voice and interesting content helped the drive go really quickly and helped calm down from a relatively stressful day.
I’m so glad! 🥹 have a wonderful evening
I met all my wives at the sexually transmitted disease clinic. It's important to have things in common. Same interests.
LMFAO. Sheesh. Is herpes that common now? Or HIV?
Cute! So creative, as well.
😆😆😆
Hahaha
Incurable romantics!
The one thing to bear in mind about work, is that something like 30% of married couples met their partner at or through work. Given that fact, ruling out work entirely seems unwise. My best friend from school met his wife at work. Extra care is needed, is all.
I agree. I think work is fine, as long as you're not in each other's faces all the time (e.g., same company, different dept.)
On the flip side, I think she probably should have mentioned it could turn into a Human Resources issue.
I've dated coworkers before until what Courtney described happened to me once and never dated a coworker ever again. Luckily it didn't get messy to the point of impacting our jobs, but it sucked big time for a while having to not only see her everyday but she began dating another coworker.
I almost got accused of sexual harassment for asking out a woman at work.
Don’t shit where you eat.
The good thing about online dating is that it eliminates the awkward nerve-wracking approach in real life you have to make. You can start a conversation when you like without either of you feeling pressured in the moment. Im currently in a relationship with someone I met online for 5 years
So how do you develop your skills then? You got lucky online. Most aren’t.
True, but if you can actually make that approach irl, it shows you got some serious cojones.
@@lockyp204
I think there are two parts to an answer for you. As usual, I write way too much; I just can't help it. But first, let me state this:
If you're going to just going to tell me what an idiot I am, go ahead - I can use the laugh.
1. If you're using a dating website or app, online conversation shouldn't really require anything other than normal conversational skills. Just talk about stuff - things you have in common. Help the conversation along by asking questions. If it's going well, asking her out should be fairly simple - "What would you think about meeting for coffee?" The worst you'll get is a no, but if the back-and-forth has gone on for a few volleys, there's likely some interest on her part, otherwise she would have let the conversation die. Then set the date up; try to find a place close to her, but also ask if she has any place in mind she really likes. Just don't make her choose a place - that's your job. In my case, if we've had five or six rounds of conversation (sometimes even less), I don't think I've ever had a woman say no to coffee. Don't ask right away, and definitely wait a bit - sometimes conversations just wither, and it's nothing you did or didn't do. In my experience it's not uncommon for the woman to ask me out for coffee. I estimate that about 20% of the women I've actually been on dates with lately have asked me out rather than the other way around. But don't think I'm some Romeo - all my dates in recent months have only been first dates, other than with one woman. I've got a third date with one woman this Friday.
2. Let's say you end up meeting someone for lunch. Just remember one thing - _it_doesn't_matter._ It's just coffee with someone who happens to be a woman. You have nothing to prove, so be yourself and don't worry about special conversational skills for dating. Talk, answer, ask and listen - all four are parts of a good conversation. (Especially the asking and listening part. People LOVE it when you show interest in them, even outside of dating. But actually LISTEN, and if you can, ask follow-up questions.) Don't talk too much. Don't talk too little. Aim for 50%, maybe a little less. Sometimes there just won't be a vibe, spark, connection, whatever you want to call it, and it's not your fault or her fault - it just happens sometimes. (I had two first dates last year where I did almost all the talking, including asking questions. I just couldn't get much conversation out of them. I even tried waterboarding.)
Here's some additional advice - hopefully you wanted it - about meeting a woman for the first time.
The golden rule, as I see it, is to make sure she feels safe physically and emotionally. This silver rule is to make her feel _slightly_ pampered. The bronze rule is to not let yourself taken unfairly advantage of. (Being taken advantage of might be less likely with women my age since they've already built careers for themselves and don't need to be gold-diggers.)
If it's comfortable for you, ask if she's okay with a hug. I know it sounds dorky, but it's important. Some dates I've had have been okay with it, others haven't, but by asking, I didn't offend them. If they say no, shake hands if it seems the right thing to do, and if you don't know what to do, don't do anything - simple!
As you're getting ready to order coffee, have your wallet already out. I'd say that in about two-thirds of the cases, the woman will let me buy and be thankful for it. If the woman insists she pays for her own, you could ask one time only, something like "Are you sure? I like to treat when I can." If the answer is still no, go with it.
If you can, carry both coffees to the table. Then, if you can get to the table in time to set the coffees down, pull the chair out for her. I'm a bit slow just because I'm a lovable dork, so my dates often get to the table before me. I don't think they notice, or if they do, I don't think they care. And if they care, they didn't tell me and they probably aren't the kinds of women I should be with. To be honest, I really don't think they even notice. If I make a casual apology for being slow, they actually seem a bit surprised I'd even think to do that for them.
Thirty years ago I could barely croak the words out to ask a woman on a date. I'd been more confident in my 20s, and I have no idea what happened. But when I started dating post-divorce, it was much easier because all my dates were with women I met using dating apps. That made asking them out a lot easier; simple dates like going for coffee helped, too. However, I felt really shy and nervous about initiating physical contact of _any_ kind. Eventually, I just decided to do it. I don't go overboard with first dates - just putting my hand on the small of their back to "help" guide them onto a curb or through a door (they obviously don't need the help). If the situation just doesn't seem right for that small bit of contact, I don't do it. I've never had anyone ask (or tell!) me to stop, so either my keen senses of chivalry is finely-tuned, or they're just being nice by not slapping my face.
Last thing. If she's cold, put your damned jacket over her shoulders! Don't give it to her and let her put it on (unless you sense some resistance). Putting the jacket on her shoulders or putting your hand on the small of her back when going through doors is a subtle way to make physical contact, and it's easy to back out of if there's an objection to it. A quick apology will work for anyone other than someone who completely overreacts, which is just a tiny (meaning gigantic, humongous, colossal, Godzilla-like) red flag.
The "awkward nerve-wracking" approach is more normal than literally anything online.
@@FirstLast-cd6vv
What's your definition of "normal?"
If "awkward nerve-wracking" is normal, what's the downside to abnormal online dating? I can think of some upsides. First you can see more women in a shorter amount of time so your chances of getting a good match are pretty good, as long as you have patience. (I hate to liken it to grocery shopping, but it kind of feels that way sometimes.) Second, when you _do_ see someone you're interested in, you can read her profile to see if there are any good or bad things for you in it.
I don't know what you'd consider online dating success to be, but since the end of this May or early June, I've been on well over 10 dates. (And I've had probably three or four times that number of ignored "likes," maybe even more than that. The failures don't count, but the successes do.) Other than one, they've all been just one date, but I'm going on a third date with someone this Friday. Although it's not typical, I had three women contact _me_ yesterday. (Several more, actually, but I wasn't attracted to the others.) I'd say that's some degree of success.
Work is actually a good place so long as neither of you is a job that is long term important to you. Guys don’t get that many opportunities to get proximity to good women. So if it happens to happen at a job that it’s worth the risk, then it’s worth the risk.
For the last twenty-five years most of the women I tried to go out with were from work. Work allows me to get to know the woman on a professional level first, then if she likes me I try to get to know her on a personal level. For me, it’s easier than the cold approach, which I am NOT good at. I’ve been on Zoosk for seven years and, unfortunately, that just is not working for me. Also, I did briefly consider joining a gym, but there is the fear of being labeled a creep or weirdo.
Great video, thanks Courtney! I have started gathering the nerve to strike up conversations at the dog park. It always felt cliche to go "oh hey what type of dog is this?" but after a while I realized it's just a really easy way to initiate a conversation.
There are always exceptions; I met a woman at work (not in the same role or team, so we were never in competition). Her desk was just on the other side of a parttion, so we saw each other a lot. We started dating, and were together for 11 years. Like the video mentions -elsewhere it began with familiarity through regular exposure
(I should note I moved on from that company about a year into the relationship, for an unrelated reason). YMMV.
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You young people are so lucky to have the internet to go to for answers and help. Back in ancient times when I was in school and suffering from anxiety attacks and other neurosis I had nobody to turn to for help. Now that I'm old and know I missed out I just don't give a shit anymore.
2 caveats of the following:
Volunteer work: regional depending, and especially interest dependent. I have tried to sign up for dog shelters, but apparently so is everyone else. The wait list for these orgs is literally years out. Latest one I signed up for was 3 years.
Organized events: every other man is thinking the same thing. Most of these social events are sausagefests, with terrible ratios. I'm talking like 10 men for every woman. I've done meetup events for over a decade now, across a variety of activities and interests, and every event is overwhelmingly men. I've tried this in CT and Boston. My theory is that most single women who men would want to persue don't feel the need to go out of their way to find someone. They're likely getting attention (either wanted or unwanted) everywhere else. My sister gets hit on all the time at the grocery store for example, and she's already married. Women who arent even looking for someone, have men thrown at them.
after 30 the supply of men does decline for most women all over, I agree with what you said overall
I agree with your first caveat. My parents help at a food bank event monthly. Nearly everyone helping there is a generation older than me and/or married.
Unless you are specifically looking for a single mother, volunteering for children's or youth group events rarely has single women.
Men are told women like to see potential partners with children or animals, but it is hard to find volunteer organizations where there are wait lists or where you look a bit creepy as a single man.
I'm also curious how many single women really volunteer with some of these organizations too. I believe saying you volunteer (and being able to prove it) is a much better as part of selling yourself then being able to actually meet someone at these events.
I live in NYC and it is the same here. most of the social meetup events are mostly guys and the few women that show up are either older, not my type or alot of guys try talking to them at once
Churches are quickly turning into the same situation as gyms. If you're attractive enough, you can get away with asking women out after getting to know them through volunteering or Bible study groups, but lately I see more and more pastors trying to eliminate opportunities like that specifically to prevent single men and women from meeting each other.
There's also the problem that, behind closed doors, religious groupings can be every bit as toxic, and often even more decadent than society at large.
Agreed, I've seen this as well from two churches recently. Pastor and lackeys wanted to play matchmaker or let none of it happen at all.
Do hot women go to church, like Luanne Platter, from King Of The Hill?
What's ironic is, church going people are typically more marriage-minded (at least they should be) , and to equate the church to a gym is apples and oranges.
There are some drop-dead gorgeous women in my church. Who will run to the pastor and his lackeys and demand that he ban you from the community if you so much as say "hello" to them.@@visaman
I would add organized events (conventions, concerts, festivals, tournaments, etc.) as part of the 50/50 category. The reason is because while you are likely to run into someone who shares a common interest as you, they aren't necessarily there to meet people. They're there to have fun and do their own thing. Making connections with people at these events just happens naturally, though 9 times out of 10 it'll result in a friendship or acquaintance and nothing romantic.
yes
"they aren't necessarily there to meet people." and thats the best time to meet someone. online dating and speed dating events do not work.
No, most people go to certain spots to be seen. So, making connections is done so on purpose. Women go to male spots, men to female spots. Mass makes things less creepy or uncomfortable, but also generic. That's why some serial daters reject dating, because they feel and hate the same spots. Even if you are in a relationsships, you can see all the people having dates at specific spots. Concerts, festivals, restaurants, parks, tournaments or walkways are such places.
@@urlauburlaub2222 If you walk up to people attending such things and ask them why they're there, none of them are gonna say 'I'm here to find love or make friends'. They're there to have fun. If people are dating at these spots, it's because they met elsewhere and are already in a relationship. They didn't meet at that place and spontaneously decide to go on a date.
@@neonnwave1 They go there for possible dating AND having fun! They dress up and let things come to them. Most go there, because it's a generic, but special setting and event, not because the music or else is so good or they love it. That's why women in relationsships go there alone for their attention and getting variety in their places to be, if their boyfriend stays home. They run into people, who validate them and also show pictures later on social-media or their friends. Yes, also commited partners go there. That's not the point.
Only very special festivals are not generic but truly fan-driven, and those are either more male or female balanced with the opposite sex being there in a minority. The minority, not the majority, is there mostly also to get dates and that's why people from the majority might get a surprising date.
If you are in a relationsship yourself and have your girlfriend with you, you see all the others very clearly in their actions. Serial daters also see this, and reject these environments because of so much dating in the same way.
Rule #12: Never date a co-worker.
With a coworker, you can take your time and get to know them little by little if they are quality type people. Promiscous people should be avoided at all costs in a working environment. They are toxic and will ruin relationships on so many different ways. Don't date a co worker if you barely know them.
I always break this rule
@@homiesenatepin this 'me too' era you can hardly so much as say hi to them now without it going south quick. And would only take a petty female colleague to make a ridiculous allegation to HR to get you sacked if you's were to get romantically entangled and it didn't end well.
@kanajingly8957Some companies ban relationships from bosses to subordinates. In my own personal perspective I would never date any female bosses. They are not my type when it comes to relationships. I am the leader type but I'm always open to hear my partners opinions and her point of views. Having two bosses in a relationship will never work.
Depends on the people and situations. I wouldn’t rush it thou.
I would say work is a 50/50. You're right that you don't want an awkward situation with someone you see everyday but if you work at a large corporation or institution, asking someone out that works in another department may not be a bad idea. My parents met while both serving in the Navy and have been married 35 years and still going. My in-laws met while they both worked at IBM and are still married at over 20 years together.
True, I recently started working at a big corporation as a callcenter agent.
Because plenty of people work at home these days, there isn't any pressure of being around each other too much.
But if you do like each other you can sort of hook up at work and if it doesn't work out then there isn't the need
to be in contact with each other too much.
So it really depends on the job yes.
Yes, that's exactly the exception when it comes to work, as long as you guys don't work in the same department then it's all good.
I did meet my wife in a night club, but it was in England where their night clubs are actually suited for having conversations. They directed the music towards the dance floor but had a lounge atmosphere away from the music and dance floor to easily have a conversation as opposed to some of the night clubs in the U.S. that you could be screaming in their ear and still not hear you.
I exclusively try to cold approach in person. I get numbers from girls but translating a number into successful texting and dates is where the difficulty lies at. Can you make a video on how to approach texting after getting a girls number? I never really have time for texting so I often wonder if it's my texting game that is weak or if women give out their numbers just to give them without intention. Thanks!
You should actually talk on the phone instead of texting. It's easier to be blown off if texting is all you do. Plus, you can hear the woman's tone and there's less chances for your words to be misinterpreted.
Text is horrible for building connection because they're just words on a screen. Any emotion one feels when they read it is what they are projecting onto the screen. It's can also be incredibly time consuming which adds to potential annoyance & fizzling out.
Phone calls are definitely superior to text. You can hear the emotion in their voice, responses are real time vs text which can be curated easily, gauge conversational compatibility & connect way easier in a 15-30 convo vs texting sporadically throughout the day.
When I talk to women in person, I tend to swap numbers after asking her out on date. If she agrees that's when I suggest swapping numbers by ringing each others phones there and then as I explicitly say "I'll call you" to arrange/confirm the details. I also closely watch her body language during that part as it tells me if she will flake or not. The key is to close the deal first before the number.
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽to you men who said that you should call her in the phone. I was thinking the same thing.
Matchmaker Patti Stanger says that men fall in love with their eyes and women fall in love with their ears.
Give the woman a call, so you can set up a date.
I am a nerdy introvert and I love the club for dancing for exercise lol, i also love it as an introvert, you can choose how much you talk. Oh and I don't drink. I feel bad approaching at a cafe if they look busy doing homework. I can't think of places I frequent... lol
Hi Courtney! I like to ask you about one thing. In today's day and age 50% of people are absolutely addicted to their phones, staring down into them like they are obsessed or something! It looks so disturbing and really makes it difficult for natural conversations to happen! Any advice? Thank you!
/ Daniel
Adding to the challenge is when they have earbuds plugged in too!
I'd say lounges, holistically, are objectively best place to meet anyone. Most of the other locations all require very specific hobbies/desires and that typically won't be for everyone. Whereas a nice lounge+bar, hotel lobby, etc. is something generally everyone can get into, and you're more likely to meet someone on travel, etc. who is actually looking to interact with interesting folk (and not be standoffish).
This is absolute gold advice!!!!!👍👏👏
Everyone PAY ATTENTION!!
Thank you my friend!
Can confirm volunteering is a great way to meet potential partners. Also a great way to weed out people you know wouldn’t work out even if there is chemistry.
2:40 I am male, born in Seattle in 1973. I FULLY agree: WORK is not a good place. Let me just say this: At my own place of work, I have seen people go from "loving their jobs, being highly regarded, and being well-compensated," to HATING working here, in an instant: That's because, they courted somebody of the opposite sex, got rejected, and now they feel embarrassed and humiliated, and they feel like everybody else is judging and laughing at and making fun of them. I DO care about both sides, and if I as a male, asked out a female colleague, I feel for how awkward SHE would always feel around me, after she rejected me. I'm not saying "Don't ever date co-workers." BUT, she would have to bring FIVE times as much to the table, for me to take that risk, considering a failed pursuit could cause me to quit (out of embarrassment).
I asked a woman from work out and got rejected. I just accepted her answer and moved on. I still see her around, treat her like everyone else. What do other's think? I really don't give a shit. I asked her because I wanted to know. I wanted closure. I didn't want to be left wondering. Now I can move on. I didn't respond angrily to her rejection. That would just validate her rejection, leaving her feeling as if she'd dodged a bullet. Instead, she may be privately feeling she made a mistake. Either way, she won't be asked again. She said no the first time.
@@noelgibson5956 Noel Gibson, that's great!! Great that you have the resiliency, that I WISH that I had. You're likely much younger than me, and I admit, even at 50, I would still be mortified, thinking that other people were laughing at me. With online dating, I tried to take rejections as "It's nothing worse than being a good defender in basketball, and getting scored on. You just have to pick yourself up and move forward." I've also been on the OTHER side of it, too: I'm Japanese-American. A 1978 born Cambodian-American widow (2017) started showing interest in me in 2015! (her late husband started drinking, and it's believed he died in 2017 from a drinking-related illness). Then, a Thai woman, born in 1978 too, literally 4'6", who had a daughter in 1997 (and now THAT daughter has a child), showed interest in me, which I never reciprocated. (Nothing at all wrong with being gay, to preface) Then, this 5'2", 57 year old in 2023 Vietnamese man, who HAS a domestic partner already, has ogled me since he started here in 2006. My POINT: All three of these people are visibly bitter with me. It's obvious and palpable. We're all human first and foremost, and very few humans take rejection gracefully. But, I still give YOU a ton of credit, as I'm confident the woman you asked out is a quality woman, and it just didn't work out. I wish that you, and others at my office, had your ability to "put it behind us, and not care if people are laughing at and making fun of us."
@@noelgibson5956 Noel Gibson, let's continue this civil discussion, because I really respect your takes. Others are free to chime in, too. Please read about the Cambodian and Thai women that "I didn't reciprocate interest in, at work," in my post before this. I mean this will all sincerity, and as a compliment to you: I really wish that you could teach those two women, and the Vietnamese man, how "not to feel and act bitter, and just move on." I'm not going to bombard you and everybody else with EVERY "hit on" story from my work, but going back to 2001, when I was 28, a then 33 year old woman REALLY "aggressively made her move" to me. And, she was visibly devastated, when she knew that we were not going to date. Maybe, you owe YOURSELF a ton of credit, for not holding grudges, and "not letting perceived embarrassment and taunting" get to you. I sure couldn't do that.
It is ok to ask a coworker out if you are planning quitting your job anyway.
0 reason to feel embarassed for getting rejected. Chicks respect the fact that you tried.
Thank you for everything you do on your channel…. Love a women when she’s in your natural role 😍😍 she glows so much that all these “exotic models “ be so jealous and wonder why men love these women more than them
Ive been to a few weddings where they met at work. I noticed a trend among them. None of them have the remote mindset of what modern dating has become. Its almost old school. I also noticed they had very modest expectations or simple lives and really didnt engage much at work other than lunch. They werent on the same team or department so work was still seperate meaning a level of separation or distance Between them. Only one was actually on the same team.
Would i normally risk it in todays culture? It would be dangerous but not because of me. So if you do try work...the safest is to keep work at work. And personal outside to increase your odds and talk at the beginning being clear on your wanting for a long term relationship and how you both want to navigate the work space otherwise you're setting yourself up for destructive tendencies. NOW If you go in with hook up culture mind or are iffy about wanting a long term relationship..just stop...stay the hell away from your work environment because its a definite failure waiting to happen.
Hi, Courtney!
Great comprehensive vid! Really like the hows and the whys regarding the best & worst places.
One place you forgot to mention is the health food store. For some reason or another there's always more women than men there. (About 70% women - 30% men).
Apart from this, the women seem to be (generally speaking) more health conscious and more into things like meditation, eg. So the long awaited sequel to the classic 'male bashing on a sunny sunday afternoon' is definitely not on display. Which makes for an easy & smooth chat.
For example, I saw a woman unapologetically smelling a mango before my eyes. She just couldn't stop smelling it.
So I walked up to her and asked her why she was doing that. She said, It's a great way to check whether a mango is really ripe or not. So I then said to her, Let me try then. How should I go about this? Can you teach me how to smell a mango? And she did. And we continued talking very smoothly.
And now we're married having mangos for breakfast, lunch and dinner...NO! Just kidding!😂
It was just a casual, fun encounter.
The bottom line is, to me this place is highly underestimated.
Or maybe I should try smell a beer or something in a bar. Maybe women would just instantly glom on to me.
Who knows.😂
Keep shining!
Cheers!✌
Reminds me of an old sitcom, where these single women found a bar with no other women in it. Turned out to be a gay bar.
There's overlapping traits between work and some of the best options. If you work in a field that you're passionate about, it's a common point of interest that speaks to shared values and guarantees time for interactions. Of course, that also means in the relationship sours, the environment becomes a possible point of contention not only applying to work but your favourite cafe/lounge or dog park or volunteer placement. There's also that unfair trope where guys get blamed for bringing women to the same first or favourite date location; mind you, just because you meet them there doesn't mean you have to date them there. All the same(ish), you can run into that ex at a spot you frequent -and it could be while engaging with a new potential love interest.
School might've been the last great option because of the principles CR used to for ranking the ideal places, but I have outside criteria that I would bring in beyond her own point against school. Depending on the type of school and program and class sizes etc., the frequency and ease of interaction might actually be very/too high which carries the previous draw backs. Primarily, the outside criteria point is on hypergamy; if you're at the same level of education and age and finances then relating comes easy but so does the friendzone. If you're a returning student and/or older whilst still being slightly ahead in life development (maybe in a separate study altogether but same building with careers that will fall into the same industry), that's your optimal environment.
There are definitely a general list of bad venues and environments, but I believe in a society where women don't feel the pressure to or have the know how to signal approachability to men (-with the burden of approaching being on men), the risk and dangers to men will always be present from the worst to the best of options. That's why it's the burden of approaching. It seems to be by natures design that men have to put themselves in social danger to create a sexual or romantic or even a platonic relationship with a woman.
Great women and the women for you go to a few different places, I believe it's about deciding on where and when you're willing to take that risk.
Underrated spots: 2nd closest grocery stores, 1st or 2nd closest department stores, and any mall.
People allot themselves sufficient time to shop, but if they haven't, it'll be evident. There's an abundant amount of questions that can be asked -without getting too personal and if you're practiced with determining a person's values.
It's less oriented to unplanned acquaintance making (relative to all of CR's good and 50/50 locations), but you have a much better vantage point to gauge whether the individual's worth your time/attention/money.
It can even be an incentive for spending time in places that are conducive to good decision making; better making a point to do that extra bit of groceries, replace that thing that needs replacing (dept store), and even just keeping up with you local economic activity with prices on any and everything at the mall and maybe even make a competitive purchase -all over treating yourself to starbucks when you just wanted to go on a "cutie with character" hunt
I met my wife on a telephone dating site. This was pre-internet, where we had mailboxes to leave messages for one another. I was on it off and on, from 1994 to 1998 and spent $1,000. We celebrate our silver wedding anniversary this December.
I’ve made good connections in most of the good bad and other type places but I agree with how you ranked them and gave good suggestions too.
I’m someone who’s tried approaching women in gym & while I do know the downside along-with the social media trend of men-shaming.
It was like the only place I see women or have a chance to try.
Also while it’s true that some women might not like it happening in the gym & the awkwardness of seeing them again.
But it can be overcome once u develop confidence that ur doing the right thing.
On the bright side, there are some who do like it, so the only way is to try !!!… :-)
Yes, you can feel good that you can do it, but have you had any success is the real question.
Get a good lawyer.
Thank you for the amazing content. Guys I have been ultra shy my whole life but implementing her steps game changer life changers she is the real deal. Now just have to step up skin care. Every one have safe 3 day weekend your amazing Courtney
Become a man of integrity, abundance, character and discernment. When you become that, there is no bad place to meet women. There is only what you attract and wjat you repel. Period.
Volunteering opportunities and cafes really are fantastic places to meet women.
I've met quite a lot of amazing, wonderful women at my church! The problem is that all their husbands are still alive...
I still think the premise is sound, I just need to start going to a bigger church.
Great video and excellent ideas! Hopefully people continue to do these activities as more and more people work from home, work out at home, forgo volunteering and coffee shops to stay in and watch Netflix. You can go out and be social but do not be surprised if the vast majority of people you meet out in the world have their heads buried in their phones instead of looking up at making connections with people.
I prefer online dating. There's no question that the person is looking for someone. The only challenge is to find out if you're that person. You can skip all the hesitation and doubts about talking to someone.
Agreed!
Online dating gets tough and I wouldn't recommend it for everyone because you'll want physical touch and your partner will be distant. If there's intentions to see each other soon, then I would recommend giving it a chance, if not...well it's gonna be difficult.
@@Danny328DT Yeah, I wouldn't be in it if the ultimate goal wasn't to meet someone. Still, it's been very enlightening. You definitely rise above simphood. It's valuable experience.
Hello Ms "Ryan". I heard you say "husband" twice! I take it the knot has officially been tied! If so, the CONGRATULATIONS to you both (in this day & age I would normally side eye the guy for getting married but I believe he's got himself a winner)!
Sorry, If I meet my dream woman, who is beautiful and really likes me, and shares my values, I'm not going to not ask her out because she works in the same place I do
It really depends on the situation! It works for some people
@CourtneyRyan No it doesn't, do not dip your pen in company ink, if they mean that much to you then quit the job and find a new one
"I did it for love" can be your theme song on the street or in the prison then.
I was looking for a women’s perspective on this topic. Thank you!
Met my ex at a friend's party. Our relationship was short-lived it only lasted 2 months.
Try this , and i did this yesterday , it works , from watching courtneys fragrance videos ive started everytime i go into the city i pick up 1 or 2 bottles of aftershave , not always expensive ones , just when i,m doing a bit of shopping , then if you go for coffee or lunch in a cafe / bar if its not too busy ask the waitress,s opinion on the aftershave ( every woman likes a nice scent ) great coversation starter, theyll say to themselves this guy takes care of himself etc etc, it puts you in a good light, this is the sort of thing i get up to when i have time off , ha ha
I agree with the majority of the list except work. I think it can be classed as 50/50. My parents have met through work and I've met my present girlfriend via it. It's down to making sure they're stable and there's space. It helps working in different departments and in my case she was a client.
L͢E͢T͢S͢ D͢I͢S͢C͢U͢S͢S͢ A͢B͢O͢V͢E͢✝️🤷♂️⭕️,,,,..,,,
There’s a dating coach I worked with earlier this year. She talks about places that are low stigma/low pressure and high specificity being the best places to approach women. That way when you approach her it’s a very natural setting to do so.
Like?
@@valentingartner3793 Nowhere.
Almost everyone I know met their spouse at school, while I met nothing but failure. Now I'm 33 and have zero options because theres nobody at church, I work from home, and the only place I can afford to live is an hour away from everything. It sucks.
Maybe move to a city or close to it at least? I know rent would be more expensive but you can look for a smaller place.
@@s7a7yC I'd have to move to another state. I'm living with my parents, and the rent they're charging is less than half what the next cheapest thing is.
Its over
I'm 38 and single, I live in the remote countryside, work from home, there aren't many places where you can meet women here (though the options are not non-existent), and I actually quite like being a loner. Working on my car, doing some gardening, taking a long walk in the countryside, having some whisky while sitting next to the fireplace. I guess one important detail is that I was married a while back and am divorced (and have been in a couple of not so good relationships since then), so that's what might've made me appreciate the lonely life. Don't feel too bad, dude. This might be a bit cliche, but perhaps just go full red pill and really work on yourself and your career and let that be your main focus. I understand that when you're alone it can get lonely, but I've had more than enough experience to realize that relationships are overrated.
Waaaah waaaaah
You are doing a great job pushing for relationship! Hats off. But with all the feminism around, I am sure that most men feel it's a dead end to even start a conversation.
But respect to you for trying. Love your channel, it's full of sweetness. Much needed in this time and age.
After watching this video I’ve realized my wife can only be in one of 3 places, the gym, gun range, or a restaurant 🤔
Gun range...bro I feel you❤
Overall great video! The only things that are a double-edged sword is your favorite coffee/restaurant amd school. If the coffee/restaurant is a place you like to go for whatever reason why potentially ruin it with approaching women? School is for school not for relationships, you're there ro build yourself up.
I have met women everywhere under the sun from grocery stores, traveling, and on transportation. Its not hard, but people make it harder than it needs to be.
Also probably due to what I do for work in strategic communications and public speaking.
My young adult son is joining a tennis club. He isn't a great player but fairly sporty and willing to learn. He has never had a girlfriend at university as have none of his male friends. It is just a place he thinks will be relaxed and an activity young adult women are likely to be in larger numbers than men. I would also say formal dancing classes are similar. Great way to keep fit too.
Hey! I love Joey Swoll! He's the dude! I love him! He's the reason why I don't get scared to go to the gym anymore.
On another note: I only dated twice in high school. I didn't talk to the girls much most of them were too......bizzare acting for my liking.
I agree about the strip club.
As a retired Chippendales dancer I can confirm it was quite hellish 😉
Good list, other than the work part. If you work for a large company and both of your positions do not overlap (i.e you work in different parts of the company) work might be a great place to meet someone.
Shared interest is by far the best. My wife met a bunch of people at the dog park back when we had one. Not for a date I assume, but much easier to start a convo. Same for the acoustic room of a guitar store if you play one.
Most women aren’t just looking for A guy, they’re looking for THE guy.
honestly you can find the right person anywhere. I know people who are happily married to people they met at a club, bar, a house party, and even weird places. i know one couple they met because they sat next to each other on a plane ride back home.
What you're saying is realistic, I've experienced some of it,
I wished I were wiser in the past, I made many dumb things while dating
I lacked self awareness among other things.
Regrets never help, I must go on ... I have no other option.
I agree.
Whoever invents the Time Machine is going to do well for themselves just selling to regular guys who want to do things better the second time through.
@@pfmcdermott1 Nice one... a time machine definitely would be an ingenious idea , I would travel back to fix what went wrong, apologize to my girlfriend, and come back....great!
Thanks for these good ideas, Courtney. I've met some really great women at school. It can work for 'non-traditional' students, too.
What about being a single parent, what are the options? Costco's food court😂😂
None. Raise your kids
Raise your kids first.
WTF? This guy has as much right to find someone to love as anyone else. I can't speak for myself, but as a single parent you probably take your child/children to your local park to play. This goes back to the daily routine where they may be other single parents with their children.
@@728huey The negative impact of bringing in other adults into a child's life has been well established. Let's also keep in mind that finding someone isn't a right, it's just a privilege.
@@MikeyP109 So what? That's not the point. And who are you to judge this single parent? You don't know this person's situation. You don't even know if this is a single mom or dad. And you don't even know why they are single. (Maybe the other person cheated on them; maybe the other person went to prison or rehab; maybe that other person died.) And just because they are a single parent doesn't mean they stop being human, with the same desires and needs for companionship. So you need to stop being so judgmental of people you don't know and focus on yourself.
I always love listening to your content at the gym.
I can really relate to the voluntering. I just started dating this girl I met at the boy/girl scouts group where we are both leaders. 😊
Work has been the most effective for me. Now that my job isn't like 90% male anymore, with plenty of women to go around that helped a lot.
The bad news: only about half of the women drink coffee.
The good news: that leaves more coffee for the rest of us men! 😂
Seriously a great understanding of marriage. Brings in what others call Dismissive Avoidant disorder and other attachment styles. Great job!
L̳E̳T̳S̳ ̳D̳I̳S̳C̳U̳S̳S̳ ̳M̳O̳R̳E̳ ̳A̳B̳O̳V̳E̳🛐🤷♂️🤦♂️,,..
We like to end the videos on positivity 😊
Okay, what is the best way to approach a women then?😮
This is one of your good better videos ❤
i like how you did a 50/50 category
personally i think online dating is the absolute worst because your online persona is most likely very different to your offline persona and likewise goes for the person you're gonna meet so it's truly dating blindly.
as for places in the real world i think any place is as good as any, but you just have to be mindful.
for example you can go to a night club and find someone but don't just randomly hook up and expect things to work out relationship wise, it very rarely if ever does.
but you can find someone if you take the time to take it a little bit slow, you can get frisky but don't get too frisky is all i'm saying, put them on the stretcher and see how they are a bit outside of the club because it is a very elevated state you are in when you are there.
but my personal favourites is the extended friend group scenario, like a friend of a friend or "daily routine spot" a place where you aren't married to that spot but you go there a lot and there are other people there, you can get yourself comfortable and understand who's going there often, who's not etc so both of these places offers you a bit of control but also meeting new people.
but as is i think any place is good as any as long as you got your wits about you.
L̳E̳T̳S̳ ̳D̳I̳S̳C̳U̳S̳S̳ ̳M̳O̳R̳E̳ ̳A̳B̳O̳V̳E̳🛐🤷♂️🤦♂️^,.
Many years ago, I met my wife when a friend dragged me to a nightclub (definitely not my thing). The woman who would become my wife was also there because her friend dragged her there and we chanced to meet. We were married for 34 years until I lost her, late last year, to cancer.
I love your videos, Courtney. Always super informative and very helpful. Blessings to you!
In my opinion, the nightclub and the gym are easily the worst places to meet women. One is an environment where most of the women there aren't high quality women, and the other is simply a trap for men to end up in a TikTok accusing them of being creeps. The best places are bookstores, coffee shops, libraries, and Target. Women and Target are synonymous with one another.
The gym thing is hideously overblown. Just talk to *people* at the gym, not just the women and not just the ones you find attractive. It can be a great place to make friends.
In Target we trust
Best places for me to meet people.
1. House party
2. Board games club
3. Dance class / dance club
You said nightclubs aren't great to meet people, but I believe ballroom and latin dancing are solid places
I was volunteering at a charity, and though I didn't get a girlfriend there, overall I had a great time, and made a few good friends.
Great video! A lot of great ideas for places! I'm actually joining a local gym next month, so we'll see if I end up meeting anyone. Maybe I'll get lucky and she'll start a conversation with me first 😄. Thanks for covering :)
The important thing to remember when meeting a woman is to be confident and be well-mannered. Also, have a good (appropriate) joke ready because a punchline can set a positive tone. Good luck, fellas and stay cool!
Simp alert 🚨 even if you do all of that they will still cheat and lie all women are all the same
Hi Courtney, before I make another suggestion on where to meet.
I would like to say out of all the dating couches(correct me if that's the wrong title) on RUclips or anywhere, you are by far THE VERY BEST. I love your wisdom, articulation, understanding, and your good nature that creates such great atmosphere. I'll take forever if I continue.
Another great place to meet is a place of Worship like Church, Mosque, Temple, etc.
Perhaps it also falls in the same category as "Organized Groups".
What do you think?
If you're chad, there isn't a bad place to meet women. If you're short or ugly, everywhere is a bad place to meet women.
I’ve been married quite a while and I was just interested to watch your video just for fun. I do have some single guy friends. Very glad I’m not out in the dating world, but it was interesting To get your perspective. Another great way to meet people is through friends. Instant connection. As far as the hobbies go, I started my own storytelling group, not to meet somebody to date obviously, But to connect with my local community.
Happy Wednesday, Courtney! ❤
You too, John! ❤️
Your presentation style in this one was very amusing & intriguing. Very different too. Definitely keep it up! 😃If you were being more like yourself than that’s awesome!
L͢E͢T͢S͢ D͢I͢S͢C͢U͢S͢S͢ A͢B͢O͢V͢E͢✝️🤷♂️⭕️,,,,..
I met my partner while dog walking. As our dogs ran around playing ,we chatted while walking with them and quietly got to know each other with each successive dog walking session. By the fourth dog walk we agreed on meeting for a date, and the rest is history..
What kind of history?
@@jimdandy8996 We became an item.
I met my Korean wife when I was in the US Army working at the Incheon International airport in South Korea. She was working at a restaurant, been married 14 happy years.
That 53% figure is absolutely staggering.
Our society has really gone to shit lol.
53 percent of what?
@@dutchmaster1999 of adults 18-29 meet their partner through some form of online.
People aren't talking to each other like they used to.
@@dutchmaster1999 scroll to 4:40 on the video. That's where the 53% is from.