I've kind of thought that based on how I frame and explain concepts and from everything else I've seen INFPs talk about, that maybe INFPs were some of the people to have created religious ideas like this in the first place. Maybe we are seen as angels and devils because we were the basis of the existence of those concepts in the first place. Take that with a large grain of salt though
I'm an INFP and really agree with the manipulative one. Even my friends said that I'm really good at convincing them to like or dislike something even when they never met the things I talked about.
Yeah! I’m middle aged and just learned about the different types and how I’m an obvious INFP. My sister has said my scary superpower is to be able to poke at people’s emotional vulnerabilities until they agree with me about anything. Then I apologized for hours for ever doing that to her. I try to only do that to help change someone who’s actively making the world worse, like a few months ago convincing a coworker that it’s idiotic to be racist and that it’s just their awful dad’s influence and so on
Half of these are so relatable but I still control myself. I don't wanna hurt others. I wanna become a healthy INFP. These kinda videos help me to understand myself and others better
As an infp, I can confirm the anger bursts and manipulation. Often I don't snap at people and usually keep my irritation to myself, but if I do snap, I end up using everything I know about that person to carefully concoct things that will specifically hurt them. I used to do it a lot more than I do now, but still. And the manipulation thing, well, infps have an in-depth understanding of how emotions work and how to trigger them, so I've ended up manipulating people before. Nowadays, I only ever do this if I know it isn't gonna hurt the person.
I only use manipulation when I am in a situation the other one tries to take power over me or if I think someone does something that is bad for them. But even then I always make clear that it is their own decision if they listen or not. People have free will and I know how uncomfortable and hurting it is to be manipulated. I don't wanna use to get what I want or anything, at least I don't do it on purpose. If I realize someone is feeling manipulated by me or convinced I immadietely bounce back and make them reconsider what they want. Their emotions and opinions count for their life, not mine.
I been like that in times of my life. I manipulating people to get what I wanted. Ive ghosted by gone friends who i haven't seen in 20 years. If someone owes me money and won't pay me back after they said they would. Then oneday they wake up and fine they car or if they have more than one they find the tires slashed widow's busted out suger in the gas tank light knocked out the interior ripped and paint sprayed that will teach them and no one else ever knew for one i would do it a year later. I manipulated all my teachers growing up i was a smart kid i liked to read alot and knew all the information i needed to do my dirty deeds. School for me was draining i couldn't and didn't like homework or work if matter that got in the way of my daydreaming. I was that kid who was stubborn to the core i was a good kids never talked back to my parents or teachers but at school I never did my homework and still pass the teaching system wasn't for my kind of person. The teacher would ask me wheres your homework i said i didn't do it they would say why I'd say because I don't want to do something that I already know and i don't want to waste my time they'd say how would I know if you know how its right. Id say ask me any question about the subject they would and i would know if and if i got the first one wrong I'd say ask me 5 more i get it right. I stuck to my guns and became the exception to the rule and each grade the teacher to the next grade would hear about me from the teachers below and think that they will straighten me out but failed. I worried my parents and family they didn't understand me or really knew me fully no one did and that's how I liked it as a young person. The tongue lashings to the person who tried to make me look dumb ive made people move to other schools because of my of scorn. At 16 i was 6ft 1in and weighed 190 pounds and had a high fight IQ but hated to fight but life pushed at me and I didn't like it so i learned to box and wrestle. I have been all those ouch in my life. Im a infp alright just look at the novel I just wrote on these comments.
my toxic trait is when I'm really upset and offended by someone i turn into "kill em by kindness mode" I'll be exceptionally polite and calm that'll make them drown in the sea of guilt and have punching guts realisations.. that they'll feel very bad and i somehow enjoy doing that. -INFP
@adita886 bro... You on the other side of screen might be very serious about this... But, either due to my stupid INFP brain, or due to bad vocab, This one was **way more** sadistic than before 🤣🤣🤣
Being an INFP-T, I have been hurt by so many that I loved at one point this is all too real. I have now embraced my dark side but long to be that person I once was. Once you go inside your head it is both a blessing and a curse. I love how this describes some of the points in detail.
In a previous job, my boss (before she quit) kept trying to manipulate me. I finally had enough (i'm an INFP-T) and ended our argument with her looking/sounding like a terrible mother. I didn't like her to begin with, but she kept pushing me and i had finally had it with her. So I used what i knew of her to attack her and make her look bad in front of the rest of the team. All of this because she wouldn't let me go get my sick kids from school and threatened to fire me if i didn't finish my job for the day. No one makes me question my loyalty to my children, even wtih the threat of my job, and gets away with it. Now, because of bosses like her, i have a severe zero-tolerance policy for bosses that manipulate and gas light. Don't mess with INFP's... ESPECIALLY if they're parents and their children are involved, in ANY fasion.
I can’t really be manipulated. I’m not motivated by being popular, I don’t like compliments ,promotion or power. I avoid confrontation but when I do flip it’s very rare and I lose control (verbally). It’s so out of character it scares people.I’ve had a similar experience with a boss of mine. I threw everything at her and way OTT she ended up shaking and crying. Not something I’m proud of.I think infps are good at storing every negative detail about someone and rehearse many arguments in our heads. So when we finally explode we’re loaded with the verbal ammo and have a prepared response to every possible comeback.
I'm and INFP, and I can TOTALLY relate to the part about taking what I've learned about a person and turning it against them (often in a moment of rage), and completely destroying the relationship. I also believe INFP's are not very skilled at asking for their needs to be met by others, instead, doing everything we can to meet others needs, and then blowing up when we FINALLY ask for something, and the other person/group says no. Curious.......I wonder how many of us INFP's have been diagnosed as bipolar? Not trying to be funny. I'm quite serious.
Same here. One of my very good friends and I are no longer be close. I often found myself listening to her problems for hours and when I share a problem then she would ghosts on me or tells me my problem isn’t a real problem like hers. I got pissed off and stop caring anymore. I should care people who invest the same amount of energy as me into the mutual relationship.
The rage part is so familiar. A few times I've been on the edge of getting sacked if I let go, and it requires a lot of restraint. I Know how to hurt people badly mentally and physically, I just wish they would never push me to such actions and thoughts.
I absolutely hate it when my sister irritates me She irritates me to a point where I physically want to lash out on her, but I know I can't do that to her. Still, the feeling is so overwhelming that I almost feel hatred for a short period of time. I absolutely hate it
Here’s what I really hate is being expected to not be authentic and never having my feelings considered and always being discounted and never being taken seriously. It’s enraging to always have to think of everyone’s feelings but never having my own feelings even considered. I’ve been getting into the MBTI and it’s helping me navigate my own authenticity as the dark isn’t always bad as the light shines in the dark.
Gosh, I can relate. I was so mad at my coworker I walked into the break room and threw a fork in the sink. I thought, WOW, I need to calm down! I truly wanted to tear her up in that moment. She is always shirking off work and it makes me so mad. I think my anger is more acute than other people’s anger because I idealize situations. I have to remember that people suck most of the time and not expect too much.
*How do I survive in this world as an INFP? Especially dealing with emotional issues and depression* Dear Fellow INFP, I know your pain. I feel your pain. I live your pain. And I am very sorry that you are experiencing this. I know your pain so well that I don’t necessarily feel qualified to offer advice to you. But since I have been requested 2 times to answer, (I passed the first time because I did not feel qualified to answer) I will try my best. While doing so, please know that these thoughts are as much for me as they are for you. And that is my key message: you are not alone. Please know this, as that is the most important part of my - and everyone’s - answers. INFPs have been given tremendous gifts - the gifts of understanding, authenticity and true empathy. We are “comfortable” people to be around. We understand. We don’t judge (usually). We validate. We champion the underdog. We’re polite and unassuming. We don’t like conflict and we don’t like drama. But guess what? That stuff happens. Everyday. Everywhere. It’s a part of life. The problem is, that which makes us understanding and empathetic, also makes us very vulnerable to the negativity of life. We soak in ambient emotions like sponges and take ownership of them. Without even realizing it. Our emotions become who we are. We internalize everything. It is not good. Now, here comes the part where I will preach what I don’t practice. ;-) I suppose the first step is to analyze and identify the exact emotions you are feeling and try to pinpoint the reasons for feeling them. It is too easy to be crushed under the weight of dark emotion and not even know why you’re feeling that way. Try to take a step back and separate yourself from your emotions. Assess whether or not you are “justified” in feeling what you’re feeling. Imagine that it was someone else experiencing this and telling it to you. What would you tell them? The hardest part, I suppose, is not taking every bit of negativity thrown your way to heart. Even if it is you and nobody else throwing it your way. We can’t be perfect. We need to stop expecting that of ourselves. It is ultimately our undoing. Accept that you are not perfect and - are you ready for this? You (and I and everybody else) will NEVER BE perfect. Ever. It is something we know. But do we feel it in our hearts? Can we accept that? Can we ever internalize that?? Can we accept ourselves knowing that we will never, ever be perfect? I think that until we do, until we truly accept that and live that, our lives will be even more difficult than they have to be. Perhaps meditation, prayer, journaling, saying mantras about it, whatever, will help to free us from the chains of perfectionism. Because until we can let it go, we will never, ever feel like we can live up to what we expect of ourselves. So, what do we do? Nothing. Literally. We live in a state of inertia. Too paralyzed to venture doing what we truly want to do in life. Because we just know that we will never do it right. So why even try? The longer we remain paralyzed, the less we accomplish in life and the worse we feel about ourselves. So, we sit around feeling worthless, unable to venture to try anything. And the cycle continues over and over, reinforcing itself until we reach the point that we are lucky if we can pull ourselves out of bed. Thoughts create reality. Not vice versa. Only we are truly in charge of our thoughts and our reality. We must harness that power to create a positive, functional, meaningful reality instead of being victimized by our perceived reality. We can choose which thoughts to think. We must choose to think of ourselves as capable, important, contributing members of society. And even though it frequently doesn’t feel like it, we are. As I have learned from Quora, it is common for INFPs to feel somewhat lost in terms of career. We feel that our work needs to be meaningful and we cannot last long in work that does not feel meaningful. Unfortunately, we also feel like square pegs and this makes finding meaningful work that will challenge us while also bringing us fulfillment a very difficult task. And frankly, I’m not sure if I will ever figure it out. I’m not sure “it” exists. I am looking for perfection? Anyways, I digress. If you feel so overcome by emotions, I think the best strategy is to talk to somebody. If you don’t feel that you can talk to any of your friends or family about it, talk to your doctor and get a referral to a therapist. You may be clinically depressed and medication may be very helpful for you. Therapy can really help you to see yourself and your situation in a new light. I highly recommend it. I went to therapy for a while and I was astounded at how hard and critical I was on myself. I almost felt sorry for myself about how badly I was treating me!! I suspect you are doing the same. You need an outsider to help you with that though. We get too wrapped up in ourselves to see that. We cannot be objective with ourselves - at least not until someone can help us with that. So, I guess the bottom line for me is extend your empathy, your understanding, to yourself. Give yourself a break. Love and accept yourself. Forgive yourself. I don’t think any of us can move forward to help anyone, if we can’t love, accept and forgive ourselves - unconditionally. That part is key. We don’t need to do anything to earn our own love, acceptance and forgiveness. We need to give it freely to ourselves. We deserve it. Our personality type is relatively rare and we feel different, misunderstood and like we don’t belong around most people. The world is generally an “ESTJ” world - the complete opposite of us. But here we are. And we know that we have sensitive and intuitive gifts to offer the world - gifts that only we have. And these gifts are not only very needed in this world, but are rare and valuable. So, yes, we are different than - it seems like - everyone. But God put us on this earth for a reason. God doesn’t make mistakes. So, if you are a person of faith, put your faith in God and know that He loves you - unconditionally. And that He feels that you are important and that you can contribute to this crazy world. Pray for wisdom and guidance in finding your way to accomplishing it. Lastly, I would like the thank the person who requested my answer on this. I avoided answering it the first time around because it was too difficult and painful to face. But clearly, this was something I needed to face and address for myself. Life is so complicated and we as INFPs - and introverts in general - try to get through on our own. Trying not to bother anyone with our “silly” problems and insecurities. But oftentimes it is not only helpful, but vital, that we have the love and support of other people to help us through. Thank you for providing that for me. And even though it frequently feels like we are alone in this world, it’s through the kindness of people like you that we are reminded that we are not alone and that there are people who care. Thank you for taking the time to care. It means the world to me.
Thanks for your valuable words, i truly agree with the things you have pointed out i myself is seeking counselling for my ADHD and today i found out that I'm INFP personality type
Salute to you brotha!!! For writing such a long essay full of emotions just for our sake... Also, for everyone feeling depressed, remember! GOD IS WITH US! EVERYTIME! EVERYWHERE! Even if you are atheists! Think of it as a method of therapy! TALK TO HIM! HE'LL LISTEN!
Unfortunately, I think they want us to try and overcome the desire for the world to make sense. I think that may be the healthy path for us, regardless of how much it makes me want to slam my head repeatedly into a wall.
At 53, I've learned learned how to manage the dark side as much as possible. Manipulation is a wonderful gift if used to uplift others and not for self gain.
I don't really know whether I'm manipulative or not since I hardly ever get what I want from people. In any case I'm very unsuccessful at being manipulative. But that mistrust part and assuming bad intentions and solidifying opinions on things you don't know about others is such a curse I swear. You wind up living inside your head about how you assume others are and what you think they think of u or will feel about something about u. U just push everyone away. Hate it. It truly is isolating
I never get what I want either people tend to discount what I say and then believe it when somebody else says the same thing a minute later. It’s very frustrating to be ignored like that
I’m just going to say one thing here there’s a way out . Allow yourself to feel the feelings and accept the feelings and even communicate your feelings instead of isolating yourself because you’re assuming people think badly of you. Remember we feel intensely and most people don’t feel as intensely and will assume if we stay quiet and isolate ourselves.
Being and INFP-T... Dude, some of these became so prevalent in my last job it was so scary to look back on. Knowing how to receive the signals and using them to your advantage... and getting it wrong sometimes. Want to understand everything, but since people don't share everything, coming up with our own stories/beliefs of the person... Worse when you are forced into a supervisor position.
As kid, my siblings taunted me to anger outbursts. My sister got me into trouble and my brothers tricked me into doing things I quickly regretted. So I learned to control it, and hide my anger. If I misjudge a friend we can easily get over it. Or if I have a true enemy, I'll be on guard. This ties into trust. Misplaced trust has brought me some serious problems. Misplaced distrust, however, has consequences I can never see, so I can't know if I'm too trusting or distrusting.
Losing Identity is though and it's disturbing myself too. So, lately I've been finding out that I should define my own standard for my own sake and do simple relateable things that I choose to achieve for myself too (Whatever it is concept that I am fond at the moment) to remind me that I am progressing in my own way, and that I am authentically myself.
bruv same, for me it's like creating personalities to adapt to other's preferences or hobbies, and get accepted, while suppressing my own needs and wants
Horrorfying is when u realize in a relationship u completely lost urself, again and again, and it starts to feel like a cage to burst out. I ended so many relationships because of that - well, sometimes because of other things too but it's a factor. Today I know this. It helps me to know to stay true to myself and rather taking a dispute with my partner than just obey or stay silent. Though it's difficult sometimes because of the fear of conflict.
You never want to anger an INFP. They overall seem calm and collective and don't show there emotions in person. When you reach a certain threshold they can blow the hell up and it's scary
I constantly give others the benefit of the doubt and assume that I was wrong, but also at the same time assume that others just want something or are simply humoring me. This comes out a lot in an imposter syndrome. I can say this, because you have no idea who I am. ;)
As an infp i can sure you this is true lol. I can't accept criticism well and always thought i always right when in discussion. But i always emphatic with people that makes me confused whether I'm good or bad sometimes. I always feel sorry for my husband. It must be hard for him to live with me. I can be nice and bad in a short amount of time. I can't even understand myself. I can be so motivated or lose motivation suddenly. I want to be alone sometimes just want to socialize
I feel like if you're self aware of those faults it makes you less of a narc bc narcs mainly go after attention wether good or bad and they won't try to fix themselves if they don't see theat they have any issues. Personally I try to do a lot of self reflection and understand where I fail. But you can only do so much when it's you alone, I feel like it would wise to get with a friend and ask them like, for real what they see that they do and don't like about you. Though it may be a painful process it will help with personal growth and catching yourself in the act. With that, I have ADHD and some time that makes ME personally look like a narc when its... like an actual disorder. So looking inwards to me, needs to happen more frequently bc I feel there is always room for growth.
I'm agree with this especially the anger burst and manipulator part. I won't retaliate right away but you'll be erased from the world for me, like you don't exist on my sight.
I tend to ignore customers words if they make stupid jokes or put their anger on me, they even realize I ignore what they said but really, I don't have time to explain them everytime they r not funny and I hear the same jokes 10 times every day.
As an INFP, I would always lie because I don't want to see their anger if I say the truth. Then, they trust me and make them believe me along with my emotionless face. After that, I felt bad and ashamed about lying to them and I never talk or ignore them about the topics I hate/ my secrets ever again.
What is perceived as an intentionally hurtful “cold shoulder” may just be withdrawing from a situation that doesn’t look like it can be addressed constructively. Sometimes that’s being pessimistic, but if you go ahead and raise a difficult subject, no matter how diplomatic you try to be, most of the time people just can’t have honest adult conversations.
Being an empath is a double edged sword. It's great that you could read people's emotions but when you become concious about what you could do with such ability it's scarier from there.
so, I'm infp and I decided to look into my shadow side, cause lately it's been overtaking me edit: coldness and loosing identify hits hard especially in those areas, when I mostly need to exist in a group, where you can't be yourself and you need too be a part of the team + anger burst are too real, honestly very interesting video, thank you!
Anger bursts are probably the most accurate for me bc I get pissed off often, but you'd have to do a lot to get me angry (unless I'm in a bad mood) and oh boy...you don't want to see that LMFAO!! I remember that on discord there was this pedophile trying to get me to roleplay with them, at first I started making fun of them and I said no, then they called me a bitch, then I basically insulted their entire existence and they got quiet after that probably crying in their pjs with crusty lays chip crumbs resting upon their stained white t-shirt. (I would copy and paste what I said bc it's harsh but nonetheless funny, however, it's really long). Also not to mention how I was the kid who would be roasted at then come up with comebacks and verbally fight with ppl in my school until they gave up in elementary school 😭
1. Only "self-absorbed" once we feel like people are only using us. Also we don't want to be "directed". We accept other views but we don't like to change our view only because it will benefit you in some way. 2. Most people are users that's why. 3. This is true. 4. True, you don't exist if you disrespect. Simple. 5. True, but 90% our intuition is accurate. 6. True 7. True, that's only a function to show the world with what feelings we have to go through sometimes and use it when we're pisser off and nobody listens.
In my teenage years I can say that I flirted a lot with my dark side due to bullying, and one of the things I wanted most was to break their whole being from the inside and leave them irreparable. I will also say that "manipulation" is something we use a lot more than you think, and that is not really a "Dark INFP" thing. It doesn't serve a bad purpose, but it is true that we do use it quite a bit as we take advantage of that image of "light beings" that people portray us with. It can be anything from you giving us the last slice of pizza, to the boss changing our work shift.
I think you might have it a little bit misunderstood,. If we seem cold and unwilling to help, its more like being unable to help without a full cup, cup has a leak or a sneak straw. Walls are built slowly,. I hope for the best prepared for the worst,. It doesn't take long to catch someone with bad intentions.
This one is so real. 4:56 I had really bad arguments with my two brothers over things I didn't think were right on their part. And now we don't talk to each other anymore, I live as if they no longer exist. And for me it's better that way.
Oh my I know all of these bad sides of me very well... I was called cold hearted, selfish, manipulate, hurting... All of these. Interestingly only by people I want to have out of my life and they didn't understand the words "I don't want u to be in my life". The ones that know me from my loving side know I can bleed out for them if needed to make them happy and do it with a smile. Because I don't wanna hurt anyone I try to keep my distant to people I don't feel comfortable with but sometimes they don't understand and drive me into this crazy behavior. It's painful for both of us. Even if I try to explain some don't get it. I feel bad, they feel bad, gosh leave me be
Противоречия накапливаются настолько, что хочется только одного, чтобы все от меня отстали. И это главное и единственное чувство - просто этот мир не совместим со мной!
the assuming negative intent and anger burst are literally accurate for so many of us because its hard to take the stress in on mostly and that stress will get out only because something triggers it, so we don't just lash out. lashing out for no reason will be the last thing we would do... and manipulation won't be because of anger mostly because of revenge why..? infp's might get manipulated or turned down in a certain situation but they don't just end up being the victim and lose there part of the story, as they sense betrayal they take revenge, they will make you clueless of what's happening and make you feel guilt until you'll vulunerable to a point they can take you down. as kind and loving creatures they seem to people they aren't much when it comes to manipulation they might just drain your soul with it.
Lord of people think we are beautiful flowers but we attack the core when pushed too far. Which is hard to push that far. My friends that remain know how far to push me without extreme wrath
Kinda sad that these r all the traits I’m exhibiting right now Was told by my family members about how much I have changed for the worse The thing is, it’s not even intentional It hurts when your moral compass is so strong, and to think that everyone is good, only for time and time again to have your trust misplaced and misused. That I start building up a wall by ‘learning from my mistakes’. Currently just went thru a pretty big ‘betrayal’ in which a girl who I thought was pretty interested in me stood me up Ive been on no contact with them for about a week now, and making snarky remarks which I know she can hear, in an attempt to ‘hurt her’ or atleast make her realize how ‘hurt’ she made me. It’s so childish but that’s the only way I am able to deal with it right now (Doesnt help the fact that my friends all told me that they foresaw this, and some even warned me, but I guess i’m just delusional) //sorry for the long rant, it’s 4am and I just need a place to dump my thoughts
Its exactly like the movie joker , we are being bullied so much that after a while we will crush anyone who tries it, enough is enough, and every infp knows it feels amazing when its unleashed.
Being an INFP, I do have a tendency to snap (after being quiet at first) and not take criticism or different opinions well. Apart from being super compassionate and sympathetic, I am also manipulative at times and use the facts I learn about people against them
This can't be more true... I'm an INFP-T. I was that kind, empathetic student and sacrificed my time, health, emotions and everything to help my friends, always checked up on them, did things like handing my umbrella to someone when it rains and I was very pleased to help everyone. I've always been the class president because students loved me. Things turned dark after pandemic. I fell into heavy depression and no one was there to listen to me. I realised that I'm not precious and valuable to anyone and I was used. I realised the power I can have over someone because still my school friends contact me when they need 'help'... but I don't take advantage but I love that power. I don't enjoy helping others but I still do help. And I'm very self absorbed often guilt trip others. I'm really vengeful because I know no one values me and they are just there to take advantage of my niceness. I think of really dark things that I want to do to other people including emotional abuse so they can realise how I feel and how isolated I am but I also know that things are not gonna happen the way I want. I'm really lost and have trust issues and keep my dark side repressed because I don't know what to do. I want to see others hurt but I know that I'm a person who instantly regret my actions. My worst anger outburst was that few years ago I bit my cousin sister's arm in rage because I was very nice to her since we were kids and she did something horrible to me and my mom even took her side. I gave up and tried to apologise but the cousin wanted to argue. I couldn't hold it anymore and I bit her arm where she got fever for weeks and her hand was swollen. That's when I realised how dangerous I can be when somebody tries to push my limits. I'm just fed up
Manipulation is something I had to deal with since I was born, cause I learned it from my family. I try my best to avoid using it but sometimes it's difficult to escape this trick. About passive aggressive behavior... I' ve a master in it 🤦🏻♀️ Sad part is I'm quite unable to say what I think to the person who's making me upset because I always fear to hurt his/hers feelings (since mine are so sensitive). .. But my anger grows bigger and bigger. And yes, when I'm really overwhelmed I completely lost my kindness and can be death harsh. Obviously people around me don't understand my sudden change of mood, even if I tried to explain this many times...
I think I’m way more manipulative than I want to believe. I always know just what strings to pull. Lucky for people around me I use it fairly innocuously. I don’t want to do harm to anyone, unless I feel they deserve it and they’d have to push me pretty far for that.
I am a Leo so it surprises people I am INFP-T & can go cold. Once I'm done, that's it. Time only strengthens my resolve. And when I'm pushed & pushed & ive had enough, you will hear everything about yourself you never wanted to hear.
Been to dark side before, someone had wrong me so much until I snapped, in the result, I completely destroyed that person both mentally and physically to the point they went insane and begged to die. In the process, I successfully manipulated everyone who was suppose to be on that person side into thinking I was the victim and turned all of them to go against that person. It's not an experience that I'm proud of nor something I would tell people if I never found this video. As a fellow INFP, I just want to remind other INFP to never go to dark side. Even if you are in it, never go to deep. You not only going to hurt everyone around you but also yourself. I'll be forever guilty for not only have killed someone but also have killed the most important person in my life in the process. Which is my long cherished, lovable past self. So love everyone the way you want people to love you. They might not understand you but remember, everyone were born different, grew up in different environment and have a different ideologies and mindset. We didn't exist to be completely understood by others but to be at least heard by others. So try to forgive others no matter how ridiculous they were to you, I know it's hard to always be the bigger person, but trust me, in the future where you have liven yourself forgiving others, you will find yourself looking back and feel glad that you have chosen this path.
As an infp I convinced my friends into watching my favourite anime, I always printed pictures of the anime with text they found relatable and interesting, The whole day I talked about the anime, I send them videos pretending to be a character in the anime and as time went on, I peeked their interest and I am so happy about it
Hi bro, Would you kindly do an episode on age anxiety and the fear of time passing by, and realising you'd never be able to create that impact you so wanted by age 40? Or may be you can, but it's going to be bit late, haha. Specially from a fragile INFP perspective. Thank you and you know you're doing a fantastic job. Please keep at it.
@@PsychologyRefresh Thank you man 🙏🏾 As you can guess by my type, am a bit of an emotional person. Being an infp and not knowing, have lost much time in life wondering why am I different and don't behave the way others do and expect. Even though I was quite good with grades (individual contribution and not boasting), fell apart later and found it quite difficult navigating the corporate life and tact / sucking up (just my opinion, not to offend anyone please) associated with it. Even if I was good with people (and subordinates), I was rather poor in managing up. Infact, one constant complaint from my bosses remained I was too accessible to everyone, incl reportees. I was always blaming myself and trying to behave. I was tired, I was not myself May rest of 30s and early 40s bring a new perspective to life and let me be myself. Let all misunderstood INFPs do some epic shit together, whatever our ages be. Thank you brother, have a great time ahead 🌻
It can take a long time to find your place in the world as an INFP. I'm 65 and I feel like I've just figured out what my contribution to the world is. And now looking back I see that I needed all of the experiences in my life to get me here. But it's a wonderful thing once it all comes together and you know you are doing something to make the world a better place. Follow your heart and you will figure out what your gift is.
This has opened my eyes as a Infp myself. I’m aware I do this and I feel as if I have a constant war of Angel vs Devil in my head at all times. It sucks
I've never thought "what's in it for me?" That seems like such an odd thing to even consider. If someone or some animal needs help, I'm going to do it and I don't care if I get anything out of it.
"Beware the fury of a patient (person)" - John Dryden Not very good at the manipulation part (I guess that is a good thing) but boy howdy to I get the rage thing
i dont really have any of this i only have "positive" infp traits but i think i do have the high morality thing and i often feel very disdainful to people with a different level of morality, even my friends they could say something even slightly out of order and i notice i automatically start feeling like there's no good people in the world
I don't see my manipulative or passive aggressive side. Which probably means I neeed to do more shadow work. I know when I am not healthy or I am insecure and distrustful and can be very hurtful, hitting someone below the belt because I am speaking what tgey know is true about themselves. I don't like my unhealthy self but I see the importance of shadow work so we recognize when we are becoming unhealthy and need to revaluate oyr situation. I especially don't like to think I am selfish. Yet, I do know I can spend days wrapped up in my own little world too much. We are all a work in progress!
I will say The manipulating and the losing identify part is so true Especially manipulation It is easy for me to manipulate and recently I've noticed that it makes me an annoying person It's hard not to manipulate people when you're aware that you can and you have this feeling that that's what's best for you and them Anyways yeah Let's hope I can heal this trait
I think my feeling is both introverted and extroverted, that's why I wasn't sure if I'm really INFP, or maybe INFJ... And sometimes is a turmoil, it can be really overwhelming. But how I can remember it's been always like that, since I was little... Thank you for your video!
I've always bounced between INFJ and INFP my whole life (i'm now in my 40s) and this video didn't come close to anything even for my 'darkside' at all, sent this to my husband and he didn't even find this close to my personality darksides, which other videos have been more spot on.
I definitely experience the angry outbursts and I have had moments where I am really manipulative. I do feel very bad afterwards. Thankfully, my manipulative side hardly ever comes out. But wow, people and things can get on my nerves! So the angry outbursts happen a few times a year.
Ive experienced the rage and i made it a point to express my anger healthily so it doesnt happen again. It gets scary. Manipulation was something i was good at doing until i switched from self-centeredness to wanting to add value to others. Empathy is a powerful tool in making a connection that can positively impact others. However, it's been hard for me lately and i sense myself going back to some of the dark side traits. One is assuming negative intent because of being jaded and disappointed too many times. It's hard to get my hopes up lately. Being cold is another one. I think this is a response to my fear of getting hurt again because INFP-Ts tend to violate our own boundaries just to reach out to others and that gets us hurt. maybe has something to do with my depression But i know once im healed, my traits can be used for good. Glad I found your channel. 💖
Being as an INFP, and working constantly with someone that's always behave like a immature adult is really set me up turn into an active volcano. Like I really try to endure the feeling all the time, but when I'm sensing that person is trying to pisses me off, I'll straight up go into beast mode.
I'm an INFP and experienced those traits, when I talk more I tend to become impulsive and weird. It's hard to see my anger but once I explode I might even become a bit of an asshole. Usually I'm kind and empathic but when I'm done and sick of it I'm the opposite. And yes most of my life I'm like a ghost that no one notice unless is necessary.
It's normal to feel impulsive or weird when you're out of your comfort zone. And that anger? Yeah, it can catch people off guard because it's not your usual vibe.
man that's quite right especially the coldness, indifference one I find my self really trying my hardest not to harm my friends with my words because most of times when I'm not in the best mood and any of them try to interact with me I really struggle not to burst out with the worst and most harmful and shitty words that tries to dig it self out of my mouth I be like sitting in silent but in my head thousands of things that even the kindest of them can destroy the person infront of me - INFP_T
The thing that confuses me is that immature infps won't let people they don't like be their friends (3:17) Erm... how come it's considered immature? Maybe I just get something wrong here.
ngl I agree with number 2 the most, because of me acting like that I have a smaller group of friends. I tend to act like that when I'm around people who makes me uncomfortable. For example an enfj I know is wayy too touchy and she likes to hug people and take their hands outta nowhere and also kabedon them. (It's like a thing when girls act like lesbians and rizz each other as a joke, but I still felt uncomfortable because I don't know her that well and she's already hugging and pretending to make out or something. ) But eventually, when I got to know her she's actually a really nice and cute person, and I regretted giving her the cold shoulder before. But I still feel uncomfortable when she does that.
About this: (as a infp-t) 1. Yes, however the "won't help other if there's nothing in for me" is false, I will help just for the sake of helping someone actively struggling. 2. The proving my few rriend over time is compketey true. I can even disolve any kind of ronantic attraction if it's not up to my moral standars. 3. Yes and no. It is true what is being said but it's not like I always know what to do to make someone feel happy as if we were psicopaths. The choosing sides is also a struggle for a few weeks before deciding and then applying it to my moral code. 4 true until the taking things that have nothing to do with the conversation. I have actually get that done to me and it's the worst argument ever. If you have to bring up things that aren't corelated to the case to bring others down you have automatically lost. 5 can't comment as I can't analyse myself that far and still be objective. 6 If I defend what I believe and you change your beliefs after my argument it's not manipulation, you are able to think for yourself and deciding to follow or not what I think, It shouldn't make me the manipulator. If I was to ever porpusfully manipullate someone it would be, but that's not my case. 7 yeah tthat's true. Now, if you agree with what I've commented you should look into the autism spectrum and the gifted spectrum, as the mentions in the video could also be characteristics of a neurodivergent brain
Outburst is real and only people closest to me will ever see it which is a really bad habit that I struggle with instead of communicating my anger I just hold it in till it cracks open and comes out like a bomb
It's actually certain that there is always a catch behind people's kind gestures. What offends me is that they except me to be fooled into trusting them... 😊😊
I was and still a toxic infp since I was raise by toxic version of my parents too (controlling, strict and self center ISTJ and careless, manipulative and self center ESFP) so I learn to fight for myself and end up being really aggressive, manipulative, untrustworthy and self center. But with my friend help, hopefully I learn to open up to others
I do tend to go silent on someone when I'm irritated. I just close off and let them ramble while internally distancing myself. I'm a triple Cancer, the most empathic sign on the Zodiac, so I can calm a dispute or raise spirits when necessary. If someone pushes me enough though, I know right where to poke them emotionally so that will completely break them. Luckily that's very rare. I'm pretty up beat so it takes a lot to bug me.
❗❗❗Check Your Strengths❗❗❗
10 Strengths Of An INFP Personality Type
ruclips.net/video/KF7FCDfFPMI/видео.html
Stop hating the infps ! Just because you don't understand us , that doesn't mean we are evil .
@@riomyself2438 In this video we are talking about unhealthy INFPs, we are not hating any personality type.
Angel and Devil in one body = INFP
True!
True
I wish that wasn't true....
I say this often because I am a Leo ♌️ 🌞 and Scorpio ♏️ 🌙
I've kind of thought that based on how I frame and explain concepts and from everything else I've seen INFPs talk about, that maybe INFPs were some of the people to have created religious ideas like this in the first place. Maybe we are seen as angels and devils because we were the basis of the existence of those concepts in the first place. Take that with a large grain of salt though
I'm an INFP and really agree with the manipulative one. Even my friends said that I'm really good at convincing them to like or dislike something even when they never met the things I talked about.
Thanks for sharing! Check out your biggest strengths ---> ruclips.net/video/KF7FCDfFPMI/видео.html
Same
Dude same
.
... holy shit
Yeah! I’m middle aged and just learned about the different types and how I’m an obvious INFP. My sister has said my scary superpower is to be able to poke at people’s emotional vulnerabilities until they agree with me about anything. Then I apologized for hours for ever doing that to her. I try to only do that to help change someone who’s actively making the world worse, like a few months ago convincing a coworker that it’s idiotic to be racist and that it’s just their awful dad’s influence and so on
Hey. It is not our fault that our friends barely know themselves!😂
Half of these are so relatable but I still control myself. I don't wanna hurt others. I wanna become a healthy INFP. These kinda videos help me to understand myself and others better
Thanks for sharing!
As an infp, I can confirm the anger bursts and manipulation. Often I don't snap at people and usually keep my irritation to myself, but if I do snap, I end up using everything I know about that person to carefully concoct things that will specifically hurt them. I used to do it a lot more than I do now, but still. And the manipulation thing, well, infps have an in-depth understanding of how emotions work and how to trigger them, so I've ended up manipulating people before. Nowadays, I only ever do this if I know it isn't gonna hurt the person.
Thanks for sharing this!
Same 🤦♀️ 💯
I only use manipulation when I am in a situation the other one tries to take power over me or if I think someone does something that is bad for them. But even then I always make clear that it is their own decision if they listen or not. People have free will and I know how uncomfortable and hurting it is to be manipulated. I don't wanna use to get what I want or anything, at least I don't do it on purpose. If I realize someone is feeling manipulated by me or convinced I immadietely bounce back and make them reconsider what they want. Their emotions and opinions count for their life, not mine.
I been like that in times of my life. I manipulating people to get what I wanted. Ive ghosted by gone friends who i haven't seen in 20 years. If someone owes me money and won't pay me back after they said they would. Then oneday they wake up and fine they car or if they have more than one they find the tires slashed widow's busted out suger in the gas tank light knocked out the interior ripped and paint sprayed that will teach them and no one else ever knew for one i would do it a year later. I manipulated all my teachers growing up i was a smart kid i liked to read alot and knew all the information i needed to do my dirty deeds. School for me was draining i couldn't and didn't like homework or work if matter that got in the way of my daydreaming. I was that kid who was stubborn to the core i was a good kids never talked back to my parents or teachers but at school I never did my homework and still pass the teaching system wasn't for my kind of person. The teacher would ask me wheres your homework i said i didn't do it they would say why I'd say because I don't want to do something that I already know and i don't want to waste my time they'd say how would I know if you know how its right. Id say ask me any question about the subject they would and i would know if and if i got the first one wrong I'd say ask me 5 more i get it right. I stuck to my guns and became the exception to the rule and each grade the teacher to the next grade would hear about me from the teachers below and think that they will straighten me out but failed. I worried my parents and family they didn't understand me or really knew me fully no one did and that's how I liked it as a young person. The tongue lashings to the person who tried to make me look dumb ive made people move to other schools because of my of scorn. At 16 i was 6ft 1in and weighed 190 pounds and had a high fight IQ but hated to fight but life pushed at me and I didn't like it so i learned to box and wrestle. I have been all those ouch in my life. Im a infp alright just look at the novel I just wrote on these comments.
same lol
my toxic trait is when I'm really upset and offended by someone i turn into "kill em by kindness mode" I'll be exceptionally polite and calm that'll make them drown in the sea of guilt and have punching guts realisations.. that they'll feel very bad and i somehow enjoy doing that.
-INFP
Brotha be fightin fire with water
You sadist😂😂😂
@@omermanjo7459 don't mind me, but as someone who's genuine to others, they themselves feel bad when they hurt me, i just add a little kerosene maybe?
@adita886 bro...
You on the other side of screen might be very serious about this...
But, either due to my stupid INFP brain, or due to bad vocab,
This one was **way more** sadistic than before 🤣🤣🤣
@@omermanjo7459 as an INFP, i highly relate. I'm pretty sadistic 😂
@@adita886 🤣🤣🤣
Being an INFP-T, I have been hurt by so many that I loved at one point this is all too real. I have now embraced my dark side but long to be that person I once was. Once you go inside your head it is both a blessing and a curse. I love how this describes some of the points in detail.
Thanks for sharing!
Same :')
Don't go to our dark side INFP_T fellow
-T💀💀
yesss embrace the darkness 🐺🐺😈😈👹👹👺👹👺🦹🦹💀💀
In a previous job, my boss (before she quit) kept trying to manipulate me. I finally had enough (i'm an INFP-T) and ended our argument with her looking/sounding like a terrible mother. I didn't like her to begin with, but she kept pushing me and i had finally had it with her. So I used what i knew of her to attack her and make her look bad in front of the rest of the team.
All of this because she wouldn't let me go get my sick kids from school and threatened to fire me if i didn't finish my job for the day. No one makes me question my loyalty to my children, even wtih the threat of my job, and gets away with it. Now, because of bosses like her, i have a severe zero-tolerance policy for bosses that manipulate and gas light.
Don't mess with INFP's... ESPECIALLY if they're parents and their children are involved, in ANY fasion.
Thanks for sharing!
Damn straight! Well done.
I can’t really be manipulated. I’m not motivated by being popular, I don’t like compliments ,promotion or power. I avoid confrontation but when I do flip it’s very rare and I lose control (verbally). It’s so out of character it scares people.I’ve had a similar experience with a boss of mine. I threw everything at her and way OTT she ended up shaking and crying. Not something I’m proud of.I think infps are good at storing every negative detail about someone and rehearse many arguments in our heads. So when we finally explode we’re loaded with the verbal ammo and have a prepared response to every possible comeback.
I'm and INFP, and I can TOTALLY relate to the part about taking what I've learned about a person and turning it against them (often in a moment of rage), and completely destroying the relationship. I also believe INFP's are not very skilled at asking for their needs to be met by others, instead, doing everything we can to meet others needs, and then blowing up when we FINALLY ask for something, and the other person/group says no.
Curious.......I wonder how many of us INFP's have been diagnosed as bipolar? Not trying to be funny. I'm quite serious.
I always find it hard ask for favour or anything I might need 😢
Yupp. I'm bipolar and INFP
Same here. One of my very good friends and I are no longer be close. I often found myself listening to her problems for hours and when I share a problem then she would ghosts on me or tells me my problem isn’t a real problem like hers. I got pissed off and stop caring anymore. I should care people who invest the same amount of energy as me into the mutual relationship.
The rage part is so familiar. A few times I've been on the edge of getting sacked if I let go, and it requires a lot of restraint. I Know how to hurt people badly mentally and physically, I just wish they would never push me to such actions and thoughts.
Thank you so much for sharing this!
People are stupid 🙄😡
I absolutely hate it when my sister irritates me
She irritates me to a point where I physically want to lash out on her, but I know I can't do that to her. Still, the feeling is so overwhelming that I almost feel hatred for a short period of time. I absolutely hate it
Here’s what I really hate is being expected to not be authentic and never having my feelings considered and always being discounted and never being taken seriously.
It’s enraging to always have to think of everyone’s feelings but never having my own feelings even considered. I’ve been getting into the MBTI and it’s helping me navigate my own authenticity as the dark isn’t always bad as the light shines in the dark.
Gosh, I can relate. I was so mad at my coworker I walked into the break room and threw a fork in the sink. I thought, WOW, I need to calm down! I truly wanted to tear her up in that moment. She is always shirking off work and it makes me so mad. I think my anger is more acute than other people’s anger because I idealize situations. I have to remember that people suck most of the time and not expect too much.
*How do I survive in this world as an INFP? Especially dealing with emotional issues and depression*
Dear Fellow INFP,
I know your pain.
I feel your pain.
I live your pain.
And I am very sorry that you are experiencing this.
I know your pain so well that I don’t necessarily feel qualified to offer advice to you.
But since I have been requested 2 times to answer, (I passed the first time because I did not feel qualified to answer) I will try my best.
While doing so, please know that these thoughts are as much for me as they are for you.
And that is my key message: you are not alone.
Please know this, as that is the most important part of my - and everyone’s - answers.
INFPs have been given tremendous gifts - the gifts of understanding, authenticity and true empathy.
We are “comfortable” people to be around.
We understand.
We don’t judge (usually). We validate.
We champion the underdog.
We’re polite and unassuming.
We don’t like conflict and we don’t like drama.
But guess what?
That stuff happens. Everyday.
Everywhere.
It’s a part of life.
The problem is, that which makes us understanding and empathetic, also makes us very vulnerable to the negativity of life.
We soak in ambient emotions like sponges and take ownership of them.
Without even realizing it. Our emotions become who we are.
We internalize everything.
It is not good.
Now, here comes the part where I will preach what I don’t practice. ;-)
I suppose the first step is to analyze and identify the exact emotions you are feeling and try to pinpoint the reasons for feeling them. It is too easy to be crushed under the weight of dark emotion and not even know why you’re feeling that way. Try to take a step back and separate yourself from your emotions. Assess whether or not you are “justified” in feeling what you’re feeling.
Imagine that it was someone else experiencing this and telling it to you.
What would you tell them?
The hardest part, I suppose, is not taking every bit of negativity thrown your way to heart.
Even if it is you and nobody else throwing it your way.
We can’t be perfect.
We need to stop expecting that of ourselves.
It is ultimately our undoing.
Accept that you are not perfect and - are you ready for this?
You (and I and everybody else) will NEVER BE perfect.
Ever.
It is something we know. But do we feel it in our hearts?
Can we accept that?
Can we ever internalize that??
Can we accept ourselves knowing that we will never, ever be perfect?
I think that until we do, until we truly accept that and live that, our lives will be even more difficult than they have to be.
Perhaps meditation, prayer, journaling, saying mantras about it, whatever, will help to free us from the chains of perfectionism. Because until we can let it go, we will never, ever feel like we can live up to what we expect of ourselves.
So, what do we do?
Nothing.
Literally.
We live in a state of inertia.
Too paralyzed to venture doing what we truly want to do in life. Because we just know that we will never do it right.
So why even try?
The longer we remain paralyzed, the less we accomplish in life and the worse we feel about ourselves.
So, we sit around feeling worthless, unable to venture to try anything. And the cycle continues over and over, reinforcing itself until we reach the point that we are lucky if we can pull ourselves out of bed.
Thoughts create reality. Not vice versa.
Only we are truly in charge of our thoughts and our reality.
We must harness that power to create a positive, functional, meaningful reality instead of being victimized by our perceived reality.
We can choose which thoughts to think.
We must choose to think of ourselves as capable, important, contributing members of society.
And even though it frequently doesn’t feel like it, we are.
As I have learned from Quora, it is common for INFPs to feel somewhat lost in terms of career. We feel that our work needs to be meaningful and we cannot last long in work that does not feel meaningful. Unfortunately, we also feel like square pegs and this makes finding meaningful work that will challenge us while also bringing us fulfillment a very difficult task.
And frankly, I’m not sure if I will ever figure it out. I’m not sure “it” exists.
I am looking for perfection?
Anyways, I digress.
If you feel so overcome by emotions, I think the best strategy is to talk to somebody.
If you don’t feel that you can talk to any of your friends or family about it, talk to your doctor and get a referral to a therapist.
You may be clinically depressed and medication may be very helpful for you.
Therapy can really help you to see yourself and your situation in a new light.
I highly recommend it.
I went to therapy for a while and I was astounded at how hard and critical I was on myself.
I almost felt sorry for myself about how badly I was treating me!!
I suspect you are doing the same.
You need an outsider to help you with that though.
We get too wrapped up in ourselves to see that. We cannot be objective with ourselves - at least not until someone can help us with that.
So, I guess the bottom line for me is extend your empathy, your understanding, to yourself.
Give yourself a break. Love and accept yourself.
Forgive yourself.
I don’t think any of us can move forward to help anyone, if we can’t love, accept and forgive ourselves - unconditionally.
That part is key.
We don’t need to do anything to earn our own love, acceptance and forgiveness.
We need to give it freely to ourselves.
We deserve it.
Our personality type is relatively rare and we feel different, misunderstood and like we don’t belong around most people.
The world is generally an “ESTJ” world - the complete opposite of us. But here we are. And we know that we have sensitive and intuitive gifts to offer the world - gifts that only we have. And these gifts are not only very needed in this world, but are rare and valuable.
So, yes, we are different than - it seems like - everyone.
But God put us on this earth for a reason.
God doesn’t make mistakes.
So, if you are a person of faith, put your faith in God and know that He loves you - unconditionally.
And that He feels that you are important and that you can contribute to this crazy world.
Pray for wisdom and guidance in finding your way to accomplishing it.
Lastly, I would like the thank the person who requested my answer on this.
I avoided answering it the first time around because it was too difficult and painful to face.
But clearly, this was something I needed to face and address for myself.
Life is so complicated and we as INFPs - and introverts in general - try to get through on our own.
Trying not to bother anyone with our “silly” problems and insecurities.
But oftentimes it is not only helpful, but vital, that we have the love and support of other people to help us through.
Thank you for providing that for me.
And even though it frequently feels like we are alone in this world, it’s through the kindness of people like you that we are reminded that we are not alone and that there are people who care.
Thank you for taking the time to care.
It means the world to me.
As an young adult INFP now constantly dealing with an immature adults and bad environment, I will always try not to kill myself.
Thanks for your valuable words, i truly agree with the things you have pointed out i myself is seeking counselling for my ADHD and today i found out that I'm INFP personality type
Salute to you brotha!!!
For writing such a long essay full of emotions just for our sake...
Also, for everyone feeling depressed, remember!
GOD IS WITH US! EVERYTIME! EVERYWHERE!
Even if you are atheists! Think of it as a method of therapy!
TALK TO HIM! HE'LL LISTEN!
thank you for taking the time to write this ♥ this is beautiful
Thank you
You're right
But how the hell can someone be a healthy infp in a non respectful society
It really depends on the environment you are in.
Unfortunately, I think they want us to try and overcome the desire for the world to make sense. I think that may be the healthy path for us, regardless of how much it makes me want to slam my head repeatedly into a wall.
@@TheImpressionist081618 By “they” you mean other types?
@@ukiimin Just basically the rest of the world in general.
You got two choices. The undesirable easy way or the better hard way.
At 53, I've learned learned how to manage the dark side as much as possible. Manipulation is a wonderful gift if used to uplift others and not for self gain.
I don't really know whether I'm manipulative or not since I hardly ever get what I want from people. In any case I'm very unsuccessful at being manipulative. But that mistrust part and assuming bad intentions and solidifying opinions on things you don't know about others is such a curse I swear. You wind up living inside your head about how you assume others are and what you think they think of u or will feel about something about u. U just push everyone away. Hate it. It truly is isolating
Thanks for sharing!
It's EXACTLY like this, I can't stand it.
I never get what I want either people tend to discount what I say and then believe it when somebody else says the same thing a minute later. It’s very frustrating to be ignored like that
I’m just going to say one thing here there’s a way out . Allow yourself to feel the feelings and accept the feelings and even communicate your feelings instead of isolating yourself because you’re assuming people think badly of you. Remember we feel intensely and most people don’t feel as intensely and will assume if we stay quiet and isolate ourselves.
@@Sarah-with-an-H istg this feels the worst.
There is nothing dark about this, this is just an average infp-t🤣
Even a healthy one?
I'm an INFP-T, haha it's fun knowing how destructive I can be.
@@reya28 Luckily you have great strengths ---> ruclips.net/video/KF7FCDfFPMI/видео.html
can confirm lol
Wait im an infp-T 💀
Being and INFP-T... Dude, some of these became so prevalent in my last job it was so scary to look back on. Knowing how to receive the signals and using them to your advantage... and getting it wrong sometimes. Want to understand everything, but since people don't share everything, coming up with our own stories/beliefs of the person... Worse when you are forced into a supervisor position.
Thank you so much for sharing!
As kid, my siblings taunted me to anger outbursts. My sister got me into trouble and my brothers tricked me into doing things I quickly regretted. So I learned to control it, and hide my anger. If I misjudge a friend we can easily get over it. Or if I have a true enemy, I'll be on guard. This ties into trust. Misplaced trust has brought me some serious problems. Misplaced distrust, however, has consequences I can never see, so I can't know if I'm too trusting or distrusting.
Losing Identity is though and it's disturbing myself too. So, lately I've been finding out that I should define my own standard for my own sake and do simple relateable things that I choose to achieve for myself too (Whatever it is concept that I am fond at the moment) to remind me that I am progressing in my own way, and that I am authentically myself.
Thank you so much for sharing!
bruv same, for me it's like creating personalities to adapt to other's preferences or hobbies, and get accepted, while suppressing my own needs and wants
@@cho2583 Thanks for sharing!
Horrorfying is when u realize in a relationship u completely lost urself, again and again, and it starts to feel like a cage to burst out. I ended so many relationships because of that - well, sometimes because of other things too but it's a factor. Today I know this. It helps me to know to stay true to myself and rather taking a dispute with my partner than just obey or stay silent. Though it's difficult sometimes because of the fear of conflict.
You never want to anger an INFP. They overall seem calm and collective and don't show there emotions in person. When you reach a certain threshold they can blow the hell up and it's scary
I feel very ashamed of the damage my dark side has caused the people I love how
Don't be!
I just want to be a decent human being that isn't constantly falling flat on its face.
Somebody who won't help others without asking "what's in it for me," is a narcissist, not an INFP.
At best, that's ONE trait of narcissism. That alone doesn't make a narcissist, that's simply falss.
I would say it can happen when the INFP is often misthreated.
It’s self interested regardless. There’s no such thing as a selfless act
I constantly give others the benefit of the doubt and assume that I was wrong, but also at the same time assume that others just want something or are simply humoring me. This comes out a lot in an imposter syndrome. I can say this, because you have no idea who I am. ;)
As an infp i can sure you this is true lol. I can't accept criticism well and always thought i always right when in discussion. But i always emphatic with people that makes me confused whether I'm good or bad sometimes. I always feel sorry for my husband. It must be hard for him to live with me. I can be nice and bad in a short amount of time. I can't even understand myself. I can be so motivated or lose motivation suddenly. I want to be alone sometimes just want to socialize
Thanks for sharing!
Same here, not sure if i'm good or bad most of the time, or just flat out evil (covert narcissist or something)
I feel like if you're self aware of those faults it makes you less of a narc bc narcs mainly go after attention wether good or bad and they won't try to fix themselves if they don't see theat they have any issues. Personally I try to do a lot of self reflection and understand where I fail. But you can only do so much when it's you alone, I feel like it would wise to get with a friend and ask them like, for real what they see that they do and don't like about you. Though it may be a painful process it will help with personal growth and catching yourself in the act. With that, I have ADHD and some time that makes ME personally look like a narc when its... like an actual disorder. So looking inwards to me, needs to happen more frequently bc I feel there is always room for growth.
that's exactly how ive been feeling my whole 19 years
I'm agree with this especially the anger burst and manipulator part. I won't retaliate right away but you'll be erased from the world for me, like you don't exist on my sight.
I tend to ignore customers words if they make stupid jokes or put their anger on me, they even realize I ignore what they said but really, I don't have time to explain them everytime they r not funny and I hear the same jokes 10 times every day.
Thank you for bringing up your perspective!
As an INFP, I would always lie because I don't want to see their anger if I say the truth. Then, they trust me and make them believe me along with my emotionless face. After that, I felt bad and ashamed about lying to them and I never talk or ignore them about the topics I hate/ my secrets ever again.
Thanks for sharing!
What is perceived as an intentionally hurtful “cold shoulder” may just be withdrawing from a situation that doesn’t look like it can be addressed constructively.
Sometimes that’s being pessimistic, but if you go ahead and raise a difficult subject, no matter how diplomatic you try to be, most of the time people just can’t have honest adult conversations.
As an INFP-T 4w5 this speaks to me on a spiritual level.
Ah yes, coldness : When you don't want to help other people, and people shames you for it, when no one actually helps you.
Being an empath is a double edged sword. It's great that you could read people's emotions but when you become concious about what you could do with such ability it's scarier from there.
Video posted 2 months ago and this guy is still hearing and replying to comments, what a legend
We try our best! Thank you for kind words!
so, I'm infp and I decided to look into my shadow side, cause lately it's been overtaking me
edit: coldness and loosing identify hits hard especially in those areas, when I mostly need to exist in a group, where you can't be yourself and you need too be a part of the team
+ anger burst are too real, honestly
very interesting video, thank you!
Anger bursts are probably the most accurate for me bc I get pissed off often, but you'd have to do a lot to get me angry (unless I'm in a bad mood) and oh boy...you don't want to see that LMFAO!! I remember that on discord there was this pedophile trying to get me to roleplay with them, at first I started making fun of them and I said no, then they called me a bitch, then I basically insulted their entire existence and they got quiet after that probably crying in their pjs with crusty lays chip crumbs resting upon their stained white t-shirt. (I would copy and paste what I said bc it's harsh but nonetheless funny, however, it's really long). Also not to mention how I was the kid who would be roasted at then come up with comebacks and verbally fight with ppl in my school until they gave up in elementary school 😭
1. Only "self-absorbed" once we feel like people are only using us. Also we don't want to be "directed". We accept other views but we don't like to change our view only because it will benefit you in some way.
2. Most people are users that's why.
3. This is true.
4. True, you don't exist if you disrespect. Simple.
5. True, but 90% our intuition is accurate.
6. True
7. True, that's only a function to show the world with what feelings we have to go through sometimes and use it when we're pisser off and nobody listens.
In my teenage years I can say that I flirted a lot with my dark side due to bullying, and one of the things I wanted most was to break their whole being from the inside and leave them irreparable.
I will also say that "manipulation" is something we use a lot more than you think, and that is not really a "Dark INFP" thing. It doesn't serve a bad purpose, but it is true that we do use it quite a bit as we take advantage of that image of "light beings" that people portray us with. It can be anything from you giving us the last slice of pizza, to the boss changing our work shift.
Thank you for bringing up your perspective!
Super same, I'm like..... damn am I toxic???
I think you might have it a little bit misunderstood,. If we seem cold and unwilling to help, its more like being unable to help without a full cup, cup has a leak or a sneak straw. Walls are built slowly,. I hope for the best prepared for the worst,. It doesn't take long to catch someone with bad intentions.
This one is so real. 4:56
I had really bad arguments with my two brothers over things I didn't think were right on their part. And now we don't talk to each other anymore, I live as if they no longer exist. And for me it's better that way.
Oh my I know all of these bad sides of me very well... I was called cold hearted, selfish, manipulate, hurting... All of these. Interestingly only by people I want to have out of my life and they didn't understand the words "I don't want u to be in my life". The ones that know me from my loving side know I can bleed out for them if needed to make them happy and do it with a smile. Because I don't wanna hurt anyone I try to keep my distant to people I don't feel comfortable with but sometimes they don't understand and drive me into this crazy behavior. It's painful for both of us. Even if I try to explain some don't get it. I feel bad, they feel bad, gosh leave me be
Thank you for bringing up your perspective!
Противоречия накапливаются настолько, что хочется только одного, чтобы все от меня отстали. И это главное и единственное чувство - просто этот мир не совместим со мной!
the assuming negative intent and anger burst are literally accurate for so many of us because its hard to take the stress in on mostly and that stress will get out only because something triggers it, so we don't just lash out. lashing out for no reason will be the last thing we would do... and manipulation won't be because of anger mostly because of revenge why..? infp's might get manipulated or turned down in a certain situation but they don't just end up being the victim and lose there part of the story, as they sense betrayal they take revenge, they will make you clueless of what's happening and make you feel guilt until you'll vulunerable to a point they can take you down. as kind and loving creatures they seem to people they aren't much when it comes to manipulation they might just drain your soul with it.
Thanks for sharing!
Right now, i just discovered why i don't have friends..
I dont agree with this video, yet I do agree with the tendecies. INFPs might get burned by the flame but were to smart to run into the sun.
Let's relax in kindness
Lord of people think we are beautiful flowers but we attack the core when pushed too far. Which is hard to push that far. My friends that remain know how far to push me without extreme wrath
As an INFP I was pleased to not identify with every one of these.
Kinda sad that these r all the traits I’m exhibiting right now
Was told by my family members about how much I have changed for the worse
The thing is, it’s not even intentional
It hurts when your moral compass is so strong, and to think that everyone is good, only for time and time again to have your trust misplaced and misused. That I start building up a wall by ‘learning from my mistakes’.
Currently just went thru a pretty big ‘betrayal’ in which a girl who I thought was pretty interested in me stood me up
Ive been on no contact with them for about a week now, and making snarky remarks which I know she can hear, in an attempt to ‘hurt her’ or atleast make her realize how ‘hurt’ she made me.
It’s so childish but that’s the only way I am able to deal with it right now
(Doesnt help the fact that my friends all told me that they foresaw this, and some even warned me, but I guess i’m just delusional)
//sorry for the long rant, it’s 4am and I just need a place to dump my thoughts
Its exactly like the movie joker , we are being bullied so much that after a while we will crush anyone who tries it, enough is enough, and every infp knows it feels amazing when its unleashed.
I’m not a narcissist! Geeezzz.
Ok, you got me on some of these though.
I do not trust others easily and I do have anger 😕
Being an INFP, I do have a tendency to snap (after being quiet at first) and not take criticism or different opinions well. Apart from being super compassionate and sympathetic, I am also manipulative at times and use the facts I learn about people against them
This can't be more true... I'm an INFP-T. I was that kind, empathetic student and sacrificed my time, health, emotions and everything to help my friends, always checked up on them, did things like handing my umbrella to someone when it rains and I was very pleased to help everyone. I've always been the class president because students loved me.
Things turned dark after pandemic. I fell into heavy depression and no one was there to listen to me. I realised that I'm not precious and valuable to anyone and I was used. I realised the power I can have over someone because still my school friends contact me when they need 'help'... but I don't take advantage but I love that power. I don't enjoy helping others but I still do help.
And I'm very self absorbed often guilt trip others. I'm really vengeful because I know no one values me and they are just there to take advantage of my niceness. I think of really dark things that I want to do to other people including emotional abuse so they can realise how I feel and how isolated I am but I also know that things are not gonna happen the way I want. I'm really lost and have trust issues and keep my dark side repressed because I don't know what to do.
I want to see others hurt but I know that I'm a person who instantly regret my actions. My worst anger outburst was that few years ago I bit my cousin sister's arm in rage because I was very nice to her since we were kids and she did something horrible to me and my mom even took her side. I gave up and tried to apologise but the cousin wanted to argue. I couldn't hold it anymore and I bit her arm where she got fever for weeks and her hand was swollen. That's when I realised how dangerous I can be when somebody tries to push my limits.
I'm just fed up
Thanks for sharing!
Manipulation is something I had to deal with since I was born, cause I learned it from my family. I try my best to avoid using it but sometimes it's difficult to escape this trick.
About passive aggressive behavior... I' ve a master in it 🤦🏻♀️
Sad part is I'm quite unable to say what I think to the person who's making me upset because I always fear to hurt his/hers feelings (since mine are so sensitive). .. But my anger grows bigger and bigger. And yes, when I'm really overwhelmed I completely lost my kindness and can be death harsh. Obviously people around me don't understand my sudden change of mood, even if I tried to explain this many times...
Holy shit so i was sick most of the time, for years.. im so glad that i clicked on ur video, thank you for making this video
I think I’m way more manipulative than I want to believe. I always know just what strings to pull. Lucky for people around me I use it fairly innocuously. I don’t want to do harm to anyone, unless I feel they deserve it and they’d have to push me pretty far for that.
I am a Leo so it surprises people I am INFP-T & can go cold. Once I'm done, that's it. Time only strengthens my resolve. And when I'm pushed & pushed & ive had enough, you will hear everything about yourself you never wanted to hear.
Been to dark side before, someone had wrong me so much until I snapped, in the result, I completely destroyed that person both mentally and physically to the point they went insane and begged to die. In the process, I successfully manipulated everyone who was suppose to be on that person side into thinking I was the victim and turned all of them to go against that person.
It's not an experience that I'm proud of nor something I would tell people if I never found this video. As a fellow INFP, I just want to remind other INFP to never go to dark side. Even if you are in it, never go to deep. You not only going to hurt everyone around you but also yourself. I'll be forever guilty for not only have killed someone but also have killed the most important person in my life in the process. Which is my long cherished, lovable past self.
So love everyone the way you want people to love you. They might not understand you but remember, everyone were born different, grew up in different environment and have a different ideologies and mindset. We didn't exist to be completely understood by others but to be at least heard by others. So try to forgive others no matter how ridiculous they were to you, I know it's hard to always be the bigger person, but trust me, in the future where you have liven yourself forgiving others, you will find yourself looking back and feel glad that you have chosen this path.
Thank you for this❤
I am an INFP and almost all of these are just alien to me, these are not what at least I would say an INFP is like
Sounds like a narcissist who created this video and were being gaslighted, honestly. 🤨
As an infp I convinced my friends into watching my favourite anime, I always printed pictures of the anime with text they found relatable and interesting, The whole day I talked about the anime, I send them videos pretending to be a character in the anime and as time went on, I peeked their interest and I am so happy about it
Hi bro,
Would you kindly do an episode on age anxiety and the fear of time passing by, and realising you'd never be able to create that impact you so wanted by age 40? Or may be you can, but it's going to be bit late, haha. Specially from a fragile INFP perspective.
Thank you and you know you're doing a fantastic job. Please keep at it.
Definitely, we are planning to do a video about INFPs' idealism and its consequences. Thank you for your support! Stay tuned.
@@PsychologyRefresh Thank you man 🙏🏾 As you can guess by my type, am a bit of an emotional person. Being an infp and not knowing, have lost much time in life wondering why am I different and don't behave the way others do and expect. Even though I was quite good with grades (individual contribution and not boasting), fell apart later and found it quite difficult navigating the corporate life and tact / sucking up (just my opinion, not to offend anyone please) associated with it. Even if I was good with people (and subordinates), I was rather poor in managing up. Infact, one constant complaint from my bosses remained I was too accessible to everyone, incl reportees. I was always blaming myself and trying to behave. I was tired, I was not myself
May rest of 30s and early 40s bring a new perspective to life and let me be myself. Let all misunderstood INFPs do some epic shit together, whatever our ages be. Thank you brother, have a great time ahead 🌻
@@naamnei Thank you so much for sharing!
It can take a long time to find your place in the world as an INFP. I'm 65 and I feel like I've just figured out what my contribution to the world is. And now looking back I see that I needed all of the experiences in my life to get me here. But it's a wonderful thing once it all comes together and you know you are doing something to make the world a better place. Follow your heart and you will figure out what your gift is.
This has opened my eyes as a Infp myself. I’m aware I do this and I feel as if I have a constant war of Angel vs Devil in my head at all times. It sucks
As an INFP male who got lot of Backlash for anger issues i can absolutely confirm the accuracy of this video
I've never thought "what's in it for me?" That seems like such an odd thing to even consider. If someone or some animal needs help, I'm going to do it and I don't care if I get anything out of it.
"Beware the fury of a patient (person)" - John Dryden
Not very good at the manipulation part (I guess that is a good thing) but boy howdy to I get the rage thing
i dont really have any of this i only have "positive" infp traits but i think i do have the high morality thing and i often feel very disdainful to people with a different level of morality, even my friends they could say something even slightly out of order and i notice i automatically start feeling like there's no good people in the world
I don't see my manipulative or passive aggressive side. Which probably means I neeed to do more shadow work. I know when I am not healthy or I am insecure and distrustful and can be very hurtful, hitting someone below the belt because I am speaking what tgey know is true about themselves. I don't like my unhealthy self but I see the importance of shadow work so we recognize when we are becoming unhealthy and need to revaluate oyr situation. I especially don't like to think I am selfish. Yet, I do know I can spend days wrapped up in my own little world too much. We are all a work in progress!
What's the difference between an unhealthy infp and depressed infp? Or these are the same?
These are not the same, but some behaviours may overlap.
There is always a catch. When i think there isnt, it reveals itself
Thank you. 🥰
This was absolutely spot on for me. 🙂
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I will say
The manipulating and the losing identify part is so true
Especially manipulation
It is easy for me to manipulate and recently I've noticed that it makes me an annoying person
It's hard not to manipulate people when you're aware that you can and you have this feeling that that's what's best for you and them
Anyways yeah
Let's hope I can heal this trait
anger bursts is so true. btw could you make a video about a healthy and an unhealthy infps, and what they're like? thank you :DD
I think my feeling is both introverted and extroverted, that's why I wasn't sure if I'm really INFP, or maybe INFJ... And sometimes is a turmoil, it can be really overwhelming. But how I can remember it's been always like that, since I was little... Thank you for your video!
You are so welcome!
Yes i can see myself in there 😰
i only relate to about half of these or less😂maybe its because im an INFP-A
Interesting!
The manipulation of others seems very beneath an INFP. Why should we care what NPCs do? Now it's time to write in my sketchbook.
I've always bounced between INFJ and INFP my whole life (i'm now in my 40s) and this video didn't come close to anything even for my 'darkside' at all, sent this to my husband and he didn't even find this close to my personality darksides, which other videos have been more spot on.
I definitely experience the angry outbursts and I have had moments where I am really manipulative. I do feel very bad afterwards. Thankfully, my manipulative side hardly ever comes out. But wow, people and things can get on my nerves! So the angry outbursts happen a few times a year.
I'm afraid of myself than I've ever been before
Ive experienced the rage and i made it a point to express my anger healthily so it doesnt happen again. It gets scary.
Manipulation was something i was good at doing until i switched from self-centeredness to wanting to add value to others. Empathy is a powerful tool in making a connection that can positively impact others.
However, it's been hard for me lately and i sense myself going back to some of the dark side traits. One is assuming negative intent because of being jaded and disappointed too many times. It's hard to get my hopes up lately.
Being cold is another one. I think this is a response to my fear of getting hurt again because INFP-Ts tend to violate our own boundaries just to reach out to others and that gets us hurt. maybe has something to do with my depression But i know once im healed, my traits can be used for good. Glad I found your channel. 💖
Thank you for bringing up your perspective!
Being as an INFP, and working constantly with someone that's always behave like a immature adult is really set me up turn into an active volcano. Like I really try to endure the feeling all the time, but when I'm sensing that person is trying to pisses me off, I'll straight up go into beast mode.
everything is correct that i laugh awkwardly in scared 😅😅💀
;)
Ive been manipulative before but only when i was at my lowest with nothing to lose(depressed etc)
I'm an INFP and experienced those traits, when I talk more I tend to become impulsive and weird.
It's hard to see my anger but once I explode I might even become a bit of an asshole.
Usually I'm kind and empathic but when I'm done and sick of it I'm the opposite.
And yes most of my life I'm like a ghost that no one notice unless is necessary.
It's normal to feel impulsive or weird when you're out of your comfort zone. And that anger? Yeah, it can catch people off guard because it's not your usual vibe.
I’m an INFP and my coworkers+girlfriend are convinced i’m a sociopath 😂
man that's quite right especially the coldness, indifference one I find my self really trying my hardest not to harm my friends with my words because most of times when I'm not in the best mood and any of them try to interact with me I really struggle not to burst out with the worst and most harmful and shitty words that tries to dig it self out of my mouth I be like sitting in silent but in my head thousands of things that even the kindest of them can destroy the person infront of me
- INFP_T
The thing that confuses me is that immature infps won't let people they don't like be their friends (3:17) Erm... how come it's considered immature? Maybe I just get something wrong here.
Interesting point!
@@PsychologyRefresh "iteresting point"? what kind of reply is that? is this channel runned by a monkey?
Well time to pretend I don't exhibit these traits as an INFP struggling with my mental health :D
Thank you for this comment!
ngl I agree with number 2 the most, because of me acting like that I have a smaller group of friends. I tend to act like that when I'm around people who makes me uncomfortable. For example an enfj I know is wayy too touchy and she likes to hug people and take their hands outta nowhere and also kabedon them. (It's like a thing when girls act like lesbians and rizz each other as a joke, but I still felt uncomfortable because I don't know her that well and she's already hugging and pretending to make out or something. ) But eventually, when I got to know her she's actually a really nice and cute person, and I regretted giving her the cold shoulder before. But I still feel uncomfortable when she does that.
About this: (as a infp-t)
1. Yes, however the "won't help other if there's nothing in for me" is false, I will help just for the sake of helping someone actively struggling.
2. The proving my few rriend over time is compketey true. I can even disolve any kind of ronantic attraction if it's not up to my moral standars.
3. Yes and no. It is true what is being said but it's not like I always know what to do to make someone feel happy as if we were psicopaths. The choosing sides is also a struggle for a few weeks before deciding and then applying it to my moral code.
4 true until the taking things that have nothing to do with the conversation. I have actually get that done to me and it's the worst argument ever. If you have to bring up things that aren't corelated to the case to bring others down you have automatically lost.
5 can't comment as I can't analyse myself that far and still be objective.
6 If I defend what I believe and you change your beliefs after my argument it's not manipulation, you are able to think for yourself and deciding to follow or not what I think, It shouldn't make me the manipulator. If I was to ever porpusfully manipullate someone it would be, but that's not my case.
7 yeah tthat's true.
Now, if you agree with what I've commented you should look into the autism spectrum and the gifted spectrum, as the mentions in the video could also be characteristics of a neurodivergent brain
this was really insightful...this might explain some stuff thats been going on with me so thank you
Sweet on the outside, @$$holes on the inside 😆 (I'm INFP)
Alright!
Outburst is real and only people closest to me will ever see it which is a really bad habit that I struggle with instead of communicating my anger I just hold it in till it cracks open and comes out like a bomb
It's actually certain that there is always a catch behind people's kind gestures.
What offends me is that they except me to be fooled into trusting them... 😊😊
HELP THIS IS SO ACCURATE IM SCARED
I was and still a toxic infp since I was raise by toxic version of my parents too (controlling, strict and self center ISTJ and careless, manipulative and self center ESFP) so I learn to fight for myself and end up being really aggressive, manipulative, untrustworthy and self center. But with my friend help, hopefully I learn to open up to others
Thanks for sharing!
Same for me. Although i have no idea what personality types my parents are.
I've seen pretty much all of this in me. times are hard and maybe I've let it get to me. please pray I get back to my natural.
Thank you for this insight!
Wow, I've never imagined that I already tapped into my dark side as an INFP. It's 3 out of 7. I thought I'm like that because I'm the turbulent type.
Who else is an INFP and a misanthrope?
Me
me.... it's because we're so moral. everyone falls short in our eyes. and even we can't be the hero that we want to be.
I’m just cynical. But also idealistic. I’d rather live with that conflict because it’s real.
i have never related to an INFP video so much
I do tend to go silent on someone when I'm irritated. I just close off and let them ramble while internally distancing myself. I'm a triple Cancer, the most empathic sign on the Zodiac, so I can calm a dispute or raise spirits when necessary. If someone pushes me enough though, I know right where to poke them emotionally so that will completely break them. Luckily that's very rare. I'm pretty up beat so it takes a lot to bug me.
i do all of these things very often and i dont think i can stop i hate it
im infp but iv'e never care about helping other People idk why yall always say that we care about others
Never?
I do