What INFPs Need in a Partner
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- Опубликовано: 6 окт 2020
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What an INFP should look for in a romantic relationship.
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dude how did you get a picture of my uncle
This has me thinking, so I'm just gonna say it - your final point is a bit odd to me because, well, I actually think a strength of the INFP is understanding many different points of view, even if we don't agree with them. It's our Ne helping us to accept the existence of many realities, combined with Fi giving us a holistic approach to the world and the people in it. Perhaps a less mature INFP will think and act more selfishly?
How did you comment 12 hours ago?!
I love how you can predict when adverts are going to come, a typical INFJ
(From a fellow INFJ) :)
What about us OZs? Where's our BeenVerified? Lol jks a quick google search & we'd find our own ;D
The best and most accurate thing I've heard about INFPs: We don't get angry at people. We get angry at what they are doing and then just imagine ourselves roasting them in our head but never actually say anything because we don't wanna bother them
so accurate
If we actually said what we were thinking it could probably end someone’s whole career. When I looked up dark infp traits I heard that we keep tabs on people so if our anger boils over we just unleash all of our negative observations.
Passive agression
And even if they're a bad person we try to convince ourselves there must've been some conditions or situations that led them to do it & try to see the best in every person 😭 its tiring
also because we fear conflicts
- Isolate yourself
- finally open up to someone
- overshare
- be ashamed of yourself
- repeat
The accuracy lolol
X D yup
Me in a nutshell. 😅
Oh God so accurate 🤧
Goddammit.
As an INFP, I love being friends with extroverts, cause they can awake a extrovert side of me that I can't awake on my own. So the perspective of having a partner that helps me socialize is actually very pleasant. Is not like I don't want to be social, I just don't know how. I end up overthinking every social interaction to a point were it doesn't make sense anymore.
I totally can relate.
That makes sense..I agree
Extrovert friends introverted partner 👍🏼
Yes
They're definitely good for practice but at 43, I am now very equipped at being social unless I have anxiety.
I'm INFP A and my husband is INFP T. We love each other tremendously, and we are best friends. You don't always need someone to change you. More often you need someone who understands and loves and respects you for who you are.
May your union be forever blessed. You literally said how I've been feeling for years. I'm single but I haven't met a guy that just accepts me for me. Please don't try to change me, because I like who I am.
Well said. God bless.
I agree... i would feel so overwhelmed with someone who is always around people 🥺🥺i prefer to go step by step by myself
My dream combo is lowkey s1 who is like an exact replica of me.
Same a little bit I want someone who is pretty or very much similar to me that we very much understand, respect, and love each other for while also being unique / interesting in their own way in a good way so things don't get too boring between us you know what I mean?
"INFPs would often rather just spend time in their imaginations than the real world."
I mean...have you seen the real world?!
Lmao
i just space put all the time im a infp and this is true i space out foe hours at a time unless someone snasnps me out of it
ha
My mum's like where the hell are you girl!!
Does anyone here have conversations alone?
I mean, to answer someone questions and give your opinions, like in real life.
my way of opening up to people is oversharing and then regretting it for years
Jeeesh I feel this in my bones.
Oh my dammit, me too! I can’t...stop. I crave deep connection so I over share to hurry that process along. It ALWAYS BACKFIRES
So true.....
this literally happened to me today 😭 but the worst thing about it is i got left on read 💔
Bullseye
As an INFP, I have concluded that no partner is "needed". Thank you.
Not really, I am an INTJ and my partner is INFP. We do complement each other in amazing ways and I would not trade her for anything.
That made me laugh a wicked laugh. Thank you.
I mean I'm an ENFJ and feel the same, but I've also experienced a few good long term relationships so I know what I'm missing when I'm alone and that makes me WANT a partner because it does make my life happier overall to spend it with someone I love
That's exactly what i said to my INFP crush, you need to become your own person, and then find someone that you desire, orand that will help you becoming your own person
Being an INFP while being autistic and also having social anxiety is a whole warzone... the last time a person interacted with me I began physically shaking and then went home and cried out of embarrassment... this is exactly why I get my daily dose of social interaction through book characters. 😂
darling, don’t give up💛 every time you try, it brings something new. sometimes it just about finding people who you are comfortable with
good luck, sweetheart 🙏🏻
Well that's not so bad socializing with book characters, buuuut, its kindn'a not so good either (sigh)😒😒
THIS! I'm an INFP, very possibly autistic, have social anxiety, major depressive disorder, and a whole bunch of other things, and I feel this on a personal level... Sorry if I weirded you out by my interjection 😅😅
I'm an infp with bipolar disorder ADHD, social anxiety, OCD and dyslexie 💀🥲 I don't even go out I'm doing homeschool and too scared of going out and having to be around people. 🥲
as an autistic (to be clear Asperger) INFP-T, i both long and hate interaction with people.
the fact that i reject the whole interaction at first makes me want to do it even more. it truly is a warzone in my mind.
but..
i can at least tell you that with time (this can be years into the future) you will learn about yourself and what tricks or methods to use to overcome. you will eventually find yourself longing for interaction with other human beings(for real).
You don't have to believe me now. i accept the fact that its seems fairly random for another autistic idiot to write about INFP-T nonsense.. you don't have to hear me out at all. just know that with time, you will learn(unintentially) and accept.
We don't need a partner. Cause a partner break our hearts and expectations, so we just imagine having a partner. Let's start from there.
Hahahahah. Omg!! You don’t have to attack me like that.
LMAO
A main reason why i enjoy long distant/semi distant relationships lol
Idk why but this gives off the same energy of Rihanna when she was asked what she looks for in a man. “I’m not looking for a man. Let’s start there.”
@@RawrLyss bruh that's the idea of wht I'm saying, you got me lol
"the INFPs personally is probably if not the most unique, the uniquest if you will, of the 16 personalities" wow I felt important
My INFP intruduced me to the test and she made me feel special when she said "wow I was waiting so fucking long to meet an ENFJ, they are awesome!" 😭❤️
Me too lmao
Lmaoo same. He boosted our ego with that one but please make sure to not take this as a way to feel superior and be condescending towards others❤️
@@xSmuckerZxJelly don’t confuse an ego boost with narcissism
I cried last night. Im a 28 y/o male and I’ve been feeling so low lately: i feel useless at works although I’ve been working my ass off to make my everyone happy, I’m a yes-sir guy cos I don’t want to disappoint them and at least I am more visible to them becos i feel like people underestimating me. but I pushed the emotion in becos I avoid getting the cliche “that’s too petty, stop overthinking” answer. I cried so hard and was thinking of killing myself. The unique thingy makes me so happy, at least someone finally acknowledged me. I am tired of taking care of other people, their happiness when I am deeply hurt and tired inside.
When I found out I was an INFP, I was like damn. I always felt like I could never relate to anyone and that no one had the same thoughts and dreams and desires as me, and now I know why, BECAUSE I REALLY AM DIFFERENT FROM THE PEOPLE AROUND ME. It’s exhausting but rewarding, because I truly love the unique person that I am.
I just hope I can find a soulmate kinda person to share my life with, but I just feel like no one can bond with me at a deep emotional level
Best comment bc I feel this so very deeply. Thank you for putting words to feelings. Love & peace to you and yours. ✌🏼💜
it feels nice to be unique.. until you realize youre unique and you will never truly relate to anyone
Infps are the reason I still have hope in humanity ilysm :’) (enfj :D
Hey! I think the same about you guys!!! INFP here!! Thank you so much, but I think you all are doing so much more than we do...we tend to just stick to ourselves most of the time hehehe (btw I know this comment is 3 yrs old now, you probably don't even remember you commented here! 😂😅)
as an infp you will approach me and think “hm they see quiet and innocent” and then when you get to know us... we are loud and cant stop talking lol
so accurate
true
I feel like I’m terms of romance guys like my quiet innocent appearance more than my actual personality and it kinda sucks
@@alyssapinon9670 Yeah well same goes the same for girls too. when they realise how weird your mind is to them, they run away.
We can be super annoying on then internet haha.
Me, an INFP, rewinding 10 seconds every so often because I missed what he said because I was daydreaming..
Exactly
i thought i was the only one omg
Thats called maladaptive daydreaming.....
Maladaptive Daydreamers 😃✋
NO THIS IS ME😭😭😭
"Everyone else might think that you only care about yourself"
I resonate with this so well.
People think I'm self centered and it really hurts, like they *tell* me.
me too it makes me so mad
Yeah, just because its completly wrong -_-.
I'm an INFJ in a fairly new relationship with an INFP and hearing how important this is to you all is definitely helpful! This person LOVES learning/sharing random, off the wall things they're intrigued by and I love to learn as well so I totally dig it, but also enjoy how excited they are to share. I'm glad to know that, just by being my curious self, listening and responding with my genuine, matched excitement is helping them feel heard and appreciated. You INFPs, when you open up and feel loved and trusted, damn, you love hard. I'm here for it! Keep being your intense, authentic selves! 😙
Thank you! It's nice to hear it from the other side, and I can say it's true, when we feel loved, we love hard, sincerely. Hope you're doing great 😊
-fellow INFP
As a fellow INFJ, I can totally relate in everything that you said! Still dating/getting to know him more though. Now I’m having some clarity about him. Just needs time for him to open up. Any tips? 🥹🙏🏼
@@fitnleen since you are now getting to know each other, the best thing you can do is make him feel comfortable. You can ask questions. Sometimes, he may not be able to answer, whether is a delicate topic or he doesn't know how to express himself. But if he can, you may be surprised by all that's going on under his "carapace". We tend to hide many things if we don't know what to do with it. It requires time and trust, show him that you are willing to listen and understand.
Likewise, listen carefully; and be patient, since it's very difficult for us to organize the pile of ideas in our minds to make it understandable and that can be frustrating sometimes.
Try to express yourself, don't leave him guessing what you think or feel, tell him about yourself too; don't leave yourself behind. You matter, and your feelings as well.
If you're not at your best, you can tell him. We are good listeners, and even if he doesn't have much to tell you, he will accompany you and empathize with you; We care a lot about the emotions of those we love.
Hope this can help you, good luck 😊
@@nicoleestigarribia3131 this means a lot!! Thank you so much!! ♥️
@@fitnleen my pleasure 🤗
One thing not explored in depth here is that INFP needs someone who will truly listen, even to the most insignificant stories or ideas. We don’t always choose to share things because we assume others might think they are stupid, so when we do share and don’t receive validation, we tend to shut down.
This has been one of the hardest parts of my relationships. I am a writer and only open up to a few people about it, so it hurts tremendously when I talk about my book and my SO just ignores me.
Even if you aren't 100% interested in a topic, just listen and show that you are willing to understand.
YES!!! Been married nearly 30 years and only in the last 5 have we figured this out. He seems to really want to hear my thoughts, but in order to do that he has to not judge and not interrupt with something not relevant, or I don't try again for quite a while. I just can't.
@@Trintron46 I am sorry. That stinks.
This is the reason why the enfj is the golden pair for us, it's even dumb how easy I get along with thema and how validated they make me feel so fast, there's a problem though enfj are very controlling that's the only side effect, if you are an infp and feel lost or sad get an enfj to cheer yourself up but be aware it will take effort to satisfy the needs enfj
Same here, it's very shutting down when you tell what you think it's a very good story but people react to it badly and full of justifications. I hope my partner would be the one who understands me truly like myself, not anyone else. I'm different but I don't want to be justified by my uniqueness as a person.
“They feel like the connection at Starbucks with the barista is special”
Okay enough is enough mane
Right?! I always end up yelling watching his videos because I feel so personally attacked ahahahah
This is so me helppppp 😭
How did he know??? 😱
Uhhh I've legitimately had a relstionship with a barista at a Starbucks who I felt had a connection with me 😂😂
Bruh I’m an INFP and I AM the barista. I feel the reverse, think I have a connection with customers. ;-;
Ever since I've taken my MBTI test, I've been utterly shocked. I never knew there was a whole personality type that hits so close to home, let alone having a large community of people who are just like me. it's honestly very emotional because I thought I was just a weirdo who was the only one who experienced these things for as long as I can remember, but knowing I'm not alone is kinda comforting. My relationships and even friendships have been hindered because I'm so misunderstood by other people (including myself) because they don't do not know how to manage me and my emotions so this is definitely a breath of fresh air knowing that there is some hope lol. watching and researching videos and other information is making me really self-aware and is helping me be more mindful which is so helpful. It's almost like having a mirror or your inner self. I will continue researching infp-t personality types, trying to go deeper and deeper, but this was definitely a good start!
I felt the same way after taking the "assessment", although I'm not INFP. I'm not weird. I'm not the only one with my personality. Yay! It was liberating and very affirming to realize this. Thanks for making this point. 🙂
INFPs all together online and home alone 😂
Same here. Felt relieved that there are more people like me. Greetings from an ENFJ-A
welcome to the club
Its not scientific man, sorry to blow your bubble😂
My closest friend is INFP and I am an ENFP. Best combo ever. I always challenge her to go beyond and curse people out for mistreating her. She calls me on my bullshit, cheer me on in my projects and the mutual respect, support and honesty is the best ever. The connection is deep as hell. We always seem to be able to appreciate eachother and raise eachothers spirit 😄 we understand eachothers idealism and imagination and both are wery kind. I can get way more cynical than her though, and that balances out. She needs to stop idealising shitheads, and I need to let go of anger.
As an infp I would love to meet an enfp 🥹🙏 great balance
I’m an INFP and one of my best friends is an ENFP, and the connection is indeed extremely deep and magical !
Yes!! I am an INFP and my boyfrienr is an ENFP and is just like that, we found each other and we just undertand each otger shits and balance each other
The ideal partner : their imaginary friends
Soooo true
Damn it hurts
omg. so true!
Yesss
Damn I felt this!
If an INFP shares something with you it's important to them. Even if it's just a meme about dog in a hot dog bun. It's important to them. We tend to value things in a really weird hierarchy
I feel rage due to how accurate this is
Too accurate.
Mmhm 💯 % Yes!! ^^^
The mental image of a dog in a hot dog bun is thrwoing me off lmao 😂😂
I legit contemplate sending anything and everything to anybody
E: how do i know this is 100% true? the face I made as I hit reply
We're high maintenance but don't wanna be!! Yes, we need someone 1) grounded. 2) social. 3) understanding of our need for solitude. 4) explore partner. 5) someone who can go deep. 6) someone to challenge us to get out of our head. And... GL with all that, I say!
exactly!
How long can you go without seeing your partner in the same city
I'm an INFP who just got out of a 16 year relationship with an INTJ. It wasn't all bad but he was the most emotionally invalidating person and once even straight up told me "your feelings are stupid".
I knew 14 years ago that he wasn't the one for me and broke up with him, but came running back because I was lonely and my self-esteem was nonexistent. I convinced myself I could live a life without deep connection or affection from my own partner. What a pathetic dumbass I am.
Now I'm 33 and recently divorced without kids and feel like I have no reason to even go on anymore. My mind is too screwed up and my issues run DEEP.
I’m INFP and had that with my INFP husband and thought the same way and now am in my 40s, divorced with kids.
Life moves on and we trundle on.
Sorry to hear. I’m in a similar situation. Sending you good vibes, stay strong 💪
I am an INTJ, and I want to tell you that you're feelings aren't stupid. They're an incredibly important part of your personality, BUT solving problems efficiently and effectively usually means ignoring how we feel at the moment and focusing instead to resolve the problem that gave rise to the feeling and letting the feeling run its course.
It was incredibly unwise for your INTJ SO to call your feelings stupid. My SO (INFPs) feelings are incredibly frustrating and often cause me much strife, but they are also very genuine and are a big part of what makes her who she is.
While I do wish she'd learn to check her emotions at the door sometimes, I'd never think her feelings aren't valid. I'm certain that's how she takes some of my attempts to rationalize outcomes and provide alternative perspectives that are less pessimistic, but I only do so to stress that I care and to help her see the positive when she sees none.
At least you got out. I know people who don't want to because they spent so much time with them especially those 15+ years and who grew up with their partner.
At least you’re in your early 30’s. I’m in this same situation and in my early 40’s , thinking I’m about to do this and I still have no kids. I just haven’t been able to allow myself to create children with someone who I don’t have a deep connection with. Now it’s probably too late to have them. At least you have a chance if you want it. I hope things are going better for you now. I am scared to divorce. I can’t afford it. I will lose everything.
I swear we INFP's would rule the world, if only we had that one person who'd listen. 😭
ikr 🥺😭
Or if we had the desire too lol
@@editsome6552 yeah that too. Not that we want to rule the world but, ya know what I mean. 😂
Sorry but that's OUR job
-ENTJ's
I don't need to rule the world, I just want to live in a small Victorian house surrounded by trees where I can play video games, read books, draw, and pet my cat.
As an INFP, it’s hard to live with people misunderstanding me and then feeling completely lonely most times. I live in my daydreams 80% of the time.
Me too! They're so much more comforting than the real world.
same, it’s kinda my comfort thing
@Blight Cite I can relate to this cause I do it too.
You speak my mind
Yeah, after time you realize that its okay to just live the way you want, even if people don't like or like you. There is no wrong or right way to live. As long as you trust in yourself, you'll never be truly lonely and after awhile you'll start to see were all not that different. We all insecure and anxious about everything. And soon you'll start to love yourself and the people around you. At least this is what I learned.
My partner is an INFJ. I am an INFP. Feeling like an outsider, freak and invisible all my life it feels so good to be finally understood, seen and heard in my relationship with him. With extroverted people I tend to shut down. However, it's difficult for me to not just focus on my relationship, but also on friendships. Because being social takes so much energy.
I am an INFJ and my girlfriend is an INFP ^^ we're new in a relationship but it amazes me how we handle our own little thing and still connects it in each other's world. And what the Vid said is relatable, which makes me understand her deep thoughts and love her more.
My wife is an INFP and I'm an INFJ. A lot of fun in our eternal lockdown.
An INFJ and an INFP make the best pair.
really? We broke up. We hurt each other too much.
@@woodwater9882ah that must be shitty :/ care to explain how u guys ended up hurting each other? One thing I can imagine is when two introverts date communication is super key and things can be misconstrued one too many times
@@jyc313 He never communicate. He doesnt respond my messages untill 3 or more days. I understand he is witting a book need to concentrate, but it is not an excuse. There are other things. He like to hide things. And also, he is an alcoholic and is rehabiliting. He has financial problems. He wants me to do business with him but he coudn't accept any criticizes. He took my criticize as abuse. I am afraid he has moral problems. Everything should go his way and benifits to himself never think about others. Do INFJ has moral issues?Sorry, my English is not quite good.
*Stranger holds door open for me*
Me in my head: Wow. It means so much to me that a complete stranger took time out of their day to do something nice for me. That's so nice of them, time is valuable but they chose to use it by being nice to a complete stranger. 🥺🤧❤️
Me out loud: thanks :)
So true!! 😭
Haha this true and v cute u guys vvv adorable lol ^^
Amen.
This is how I feel when someone says have a good day 🥲🥲 like okay I will thank you lol
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 ayooo
Being an infp while having social anxiety... yeah, it's not great
Tell me about it...
yeah man why does it feel like all infps have social anxiety :(
no but I really want a healthy social life, and talk about how I feel with people but I'm never able to do it..
yeah and i have no friends, only one but shes popular and it doesnt feel like shes a friend bc she never listens
Me, INFP with social anxiety and ADHD: Felt
@@linkinlog8543 ha... I have ADD lol
I am an INFP - and most of the time I am a very easy going type of person - unless someone attacks my deeply held convictions, beliefs, and faith - and then, I have no problem standing up for myself and what I have come to deeply believe in. I also have a tendency to somehow actually "feel" what other people are feeling and be able to talk to them and hopefully help them. My feelings ARE very intense. If someone yells at me without good reason - I completely withdraw emotionally and will never trust that person completely again - I will seal the most sensitive part of myself off from that person, and the relationship (IF there is still one left) will most likely never be the same. I also have a deep need to know the truth about many things and will research for hours and hours until I reach a place where I feel i've looked at all sides of things and then make a decision - and then, I will stick to that and not budge. I do not tend to believe something based on what popular opinion is, or what is touted in the news, or what Joe, down the street says, etc etc. It has to be something that I discover through many different avenues and turn over every stone to find. I think for many deeply sensitive people - they self -isolate because they are afraid of the world and are well aware of the cruelty of others, and this makes them very sad. I feel INFPs are most likely very altruistic and feel happiest when they are around other people who are idealistic like themselves and loving and compassionate. For myself, as an INFP - Trust and truth are deeply important. INFPs DO need a buffer to protect themselves from all of the bad things in the world so that they can feel safe.
I want someone who'll accept everything in me but who'll also make me a better version of myself
Me: yOu CaN't TeLl mE wHaT i NeEd!
Frank: ~tells me I'm the uniquest and quotes David Bowie~
Me: ok homie we good
David Bowie, what a legend! ❤️
You're top commenter in this channel!
You speak for all our people.
😂😂😂lmaoo
Is it bad that I read uniquest as uni-quest? 😅
Are there any other INFP’s that are introverted but want to have a social life and be more open? I don’t want to just be silent and at home, I want to explore it and meet many cool people, it’s just that I need a little time to be comfortable with someone :)
Yes here. My kids hate my habit of picking up conversations with complete unknown people in the bus or while queuing. But people are just so interesting!!!
heya i’m like that!!! honestly i’m the biggest introvert and love spending time alone yet i also know how much fun i can have with people because of past experiences! it’s also a great way to escape my enormous imagination and live in the moment for a while. so if there is a party, hit me up... unless i feel like being alone in my room haha!!
@@helgaioannidis9365 Yes! I know hate it but at the same time I love it! And I hate that I love it😂
honestly i want to be more opne and meet new people but my social anxiety just says no :') i wish i could just go up to someone and strike up a conversation
@@bokutocantrelate4677 I trained this. I started with going for a walk and asking strangers about the way (I knew the way, it was only for practicing to speak to a stranger). People reacted very friendly so after a while I started to feel less anxious when I talked to strangers and I would start small conversations with people in the bus or in the queue at the supermarket. You know like if they had a dog I would say "what a nice dog, what race is this?" or say something about the weather and I found out that most people are actually open to a little small talk and get very smiley. And the positive feedback reduced my anxiety a lot.
My husband is totally the grounded one in our marriage. 😆 He likes repetition and keeping life predictable, so we're a great team. He tends to go along with my crazy ideas, because he enjoys it, yet he drags me along to be more social! I'm not sure what his personality type is, but he's definitely my person after 18 years.
i’m an INFP but through therapy i find i’ve become a lot better at being social, it’s to do with growing my confidence for sure but also just caring less what other people think and trusting my own gut and desires.
What do we need? Only undying devotion and the mutual feeling of being as necessary to each other as another arm. No pressure or anything.
❤️❤️❤️
Right? I feel like it's pretty simple, idk what the problem is
@@giishaw92 Eh, I do to an extent. It’s a tall order. I respect how this would be coming on too strong for many. I wish that wasn’t the case but it kinda is what it is.
What do you think Tina's MBTI is? I my head I am Louise, but fear I may be a Tina
@@itswickedsweet4409 If how much I relate to her is any indication she’s also an INFP. But that may be me wanting to have that in common with her, maybe I’m not the best person to ask. Louise is an XSTJ. Very chameleon-like in balancing extroversion and introversion, but otherwise the opposite of her sister.
“INFP’s love to explore. They’re naturally adventurous even just in their mind.”
LOL I felt that! 🤣
absolutely! 2 months ago, I literally fell from the roof of my house and fractured a couple of bones while trying to balance on the edge of the roof!
@@SpencerCreskey Haha! It IS kinda funny in a rather unconventional (although, quite painful) way!😭😂
So damn mee..😂😂😂
I just spent an hour exploring a new walking path just out of curiosity n b/c I had the time today. This checks out 🌚
Exactly hehe ....situation be like that
I'm an ENTJ, and I don't like to make them feel intimidated. On the opposite, im interested in their creative imagination and their connection with the fantasy inside they heads that let them recover from anything that could be troublesome from the real world. I found that as a great skill, that I feel that I would love to explore and help to come again to the real world and share their imagination with us. (If that makes sense, unfortunately I'm not fluent so.. my ideas may be not clearly as I want)
I'm dating an ENTJ who's exactly like what you just said lol
I'm an INFP and you described me to a T. And David Bowie is my favorite musical artist of all time, Space Oddity was a perfect bit to work into this. INFPs are always floating in a most peculiar way
I'm sorry but I have a connection with the barista from Starbucks, other people just don't see/understand it
Agree
absolutely
I swear mine flirted with me one time, he wouldn’t just compliment my jacket as part of good customer service, right? RIGHT?
@@bespectacledheroine7292 aweeee so cuteeeeee😭. So, what is your reaction after he flirt?😂
@@natashaedayu5954 I likely went tomato red. He also playfully busted my chops about my cracked phone screen so I don’t know, maybe that’s pretty unambiguous flirt strategy? I’m no good at telling either way. 🤔
Frank: "INFPs would often rather just spend time in their imaginations than in the real world"
Me: 👁👄👁
He's talking about me? 👁️👄👁️
Me: and what about it ? 🙄😪
And that's why I write fanfics
and that's why I'm still single 👁👄👁
Reality is disappointing :/
As a sexual assault survivor (and INFP) that ad terrifies me. It takes me a while before I tell someone my full legal name. Once they know, then they can also know your address etc.
Also, several years ago I had a date (within a few minutes of meeting) look me up and show me my address on his phone. Absolutely terrifying.
I refuse to use my legal name on LinkedIn or social media or anywhere because people can use things like that to find you. I realize it's typically marketed as a way to keep us safer but that has not been my experience.
I am an INFJ married to an INFP. All these things are very true from my experience. I'm having to learn to adventure, help push us both to social connection (not EITHER of our strengths 😄), and figure out when to push vs let off, ground vs explore, offer solutions vs comfort, etc.
What were some things that you two had to work on? I”m starting to date an INFP woman and we’re great so far but I can see communication being something to put extra effort on. Thanks in advance!
@@jyc313 The biggest thing for me as someone who very naturally makes value judgements on basically everything I hear (hello J) is learning to NOT initially do that with anything that is said and just listening and asking exploratory questions to start.
Oh i can relate to that. I went into this relationship with her knowing that is a trait of mine so mostly have been able to approach similar situations well. Once in a while tho, it comes out. Luckily not regarding anything major so she's been chill so far and understanding.@@johnathanrhoades7751
Me, an INFP, whenever Frank describes an INFP: oh my god I do that how'd he know
At one point, I might have convinced myself there’s a camera watching me. LOL.
Me too!
"Haha, I do that"
@@Beanie-- nice 😂
@@Beanie-- hahahahah yes
I am such an INFP that when he said not everyone has the need to feel their connection to their partner is deep and special, I just couldn’t fathom how anyone wouldn’t need that from their significant other. I’d rather be alone than to be with someone I have a meh average connection with.
I SWEEAAAR!!! i never knew people would be okay with not having a deep connection with their partner (which is ok obv cuz it's how they roll) but maaan...
Totally agree. Like my brain just doesn’t get how that’s a thing. Sometimes I’m jealous of the people who can live this way. It looks easier :(
@@eilzmo IKRRRR
Yeah I understand. I am an Entp that is a high sensitive person and that makes me CRAVE a deep connection where my soul sings with joy.
Omgggg yes , I feel so distant if I don’t have a deep conversation it’s kind of bad 😂
So basically I married the perfect match for me. 😊💕💕 I can cry in the shower after socialising too much (for me) and he somehow gets it. He’ll take our kids and be like “just chill, we’ll be back later.” He is totally my social buffer. After 20 years of marriage I can tell you Frank James has hit the nail on the head!
As an INFP, I really struggle with keeping up with my chores and doing practical things. And this can get really frustrating because, at the same time, I'm a dreamer so I want to pursue these things. This has led me to create a "life hack" where whenever I need to get something done, I ask someone else to *tell me* to do the task. It's helpful because it switches me to following that command rather than thinking about what needs to be done... and eventually concluding that I'll do it tomorrow
I want to do it less if someone tells me something that I already know needs to be done/was planning on doing eventually anyway. 😅
Frank: “Their emotions are like an iceberg”
Me: pauses video and stares at screen
Me: whispers “I am an iceberg...”
😭 exactly
salad. You are an iceberg salad. And so am ı
Estela Del Valle yeh lets destroy the world
@@estelavalle4925 HECK YEAH
..true tho
When I was younger I liked to go to sleep one hour before I would actually sleep just to lay in my bed in my dark room and create stories in my head.
Well, now I know why.
o yes, me too. Loved it.
I used to do the same thing! As a kid I couldn't wait to just lay down in the dark and tell myself another story or explore the fantasy world I'd created. Honestly, it happens even now from time to time.
Sameee
Me tooooo😄
YES. I still do this, haha. Most people worry about the days to come, I slip into fantasy 💃🏻🕺🏻
Exploring my personality type, INFP, has really helped me understand that much of the pain I feel is because I think the world is an evil place, and that the world is not, in fact, cruel just because not everyone shares my idealistic values and my extremely high standard of politeness.
The thing is
We love to share a deep connection with people
And whenever we share something to them
We want them to value what we said because it took us a lot of courage to open up
And also because it means that we are comfortable with them
when you said “fear of judgment” you hit the nail on the head!!! i don’t hate people. in fact i yearn for human connection, i’m just really really afraid of being disliked
yeah, same :)
Ikr it’s kinda exhausting
@Gk Zoe love ur pfp
Arrgghhhh only who wears the shoe knows EXACTLY where it hurts 😩
love your profile pic
“They feel like the connection at Starbucks with the barista is special”
Cries at self because I *am* the barista at Starbucks
oHh nOooO 😭😹
😂😂😂🍳
#connection
And I'm the one who came in and made that connection with you. And, uh, all the others, too.
PLSS OAAHAHA
I'm an INFP and my boyfriend is an INTJ
It's really interesting how we function together. It's like we get along too well lol. Like we both need out alone times when we need it. It's like we have a really deep understanding of each other. He keeps me grounded for sure.
For a INFP, an INTJ is the BEST partner we had. My boyfriend is an INTJ too.
I think we can be very social, but only when we’re in the mood. I know my social anxiety holds me back at times from finding relationships. Though the social anxiety isn’t that extreme to where every social encounter is a nightmare. Only the important encounters are.
"INFPs are one of the most unique, if not uniquest, personalities."
I just sat here for a solid minute or two trying to figure out if that was sarcasm 😂
~an INFP
Is it?
@@moominluver4485 No 😅
It's said that although INFPs are not the most rare type, no 2 INFPs are the same. We're the most individualistic of all types. Well..that's what they say. 😅
@@bubblebuddyyyy I guess it really is,
We all wanted to be the Unique one, that's why we wanted to be INFJ (the uniquest personality).
*Reacts to one of INFJ's video
"wow that is so me" -INFP. 🤦♂️
I guess it is Frank's way to make us feel good. 😞
OMFG it's really true!! I also think the same way
...you guys are getting partners?!!
😭
More like they are getting us
Haha I was 17 when I got a boyfriend, the best 10 years with him 💜 but it was difficult at the beginning
@@coniqa4404 10 years from a high school sweetheart relationship? Damn girl, that is awesome
@@elises8825 heheheh yes, it's amazing 💜✨ thank you!
As an ENFP this is somewhat funny to listen to. Its kind of like: Hey, that's relatable only... ever so slightly really different.
My partner's an ENTJ. It feels like he is guiding me through the day hand in hand, leading the way while I am dreamily following. He keeps me grounded, validates my emotions but also makes sure to not dwell on those emotions for too long. Loving him is easy and life is too with him around. Couldn't be happier ☺
*”INFPs are DEEPLY EMOTIONAL but the irony is they don’t often SHOW IT”*
A sentence has never described me so perfectly before.
*”And lots of times they also don’t even like taking about it.”*
This one too!
True
Same here...
Exactly..
SAME. Fiona Apple has a line that hits so most perfectly and insanely accurately: “my fever burns me deeper than I’ve ever shown”.
I know, the whole video I felt like he was talking to me directly haha 😂
as an INFP i just want to sit in my room all day reading, watching movies and creating my own imaginary world
I know the feeling. And that's completely alright you know. It's ok to do things at your own pace. Keep doing things that make you feel grounded. Sending good wishes ur way.
Me too my happy place is in my imaginary worlds not in the real world !
That sounds really cool
who are you and why are you me?
I don't know man, as an INFP, being reserved, and not liking people being full of themselves, I really deeply appreciated the first few seconds where you say we're the most unique people. It makes me proud and happy and recognised
Hello!! I am an ENFJ who has just befriended an INFP. Honestly this video gave me so much to consider in supporting this friend and I can’t wait to see what life has in store for us!
Hi!! INFP here. From what I understand an ENFJ is a great match for an INFP in any relationship, be it platonic or romantic, so I've recently become fascinated with the idea of meeting ENFJ friends... If you don't mind me asking, has this friendship continued to grow?
But when we find that someone. We don't even have guts to talk to them and just freak out.
Not just partner. But even a friend. 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
FREAK OUT! Tararara~
@@Koshrocreations Haha. 😅
fr dude like the only time ive ever fallen in love my heart got broken and i never did that again lmao its too scary
Exactly🥺 I could never-
foreign swagger So what, like, do you stop yourself from falling in love? How do you do that? Because I need tips. And either you’ve got mad skill and motivation or it’s just a coincidence that no one can ever set your heart on fire the way the one that broke your heart did. So which is it?
What INFP needs in a partner
Probably like organs.
Idk, bones are kinda good too
Introsomnilad !
You ain't got nuthin' until you've got connective tissue! ;)
instruments or parts of the body?
Why did I think yum in my head after reading this.
😂
Yes! I just want someone who will be my social buffer! That’s a great way to say that. Someone who will push me to be more social, take me places and be ok if I’m mostly observing while I’m there.
Every sentence he said is so true and I’m so fascinated by the thought that so many people who are INFP are as same as me wow this feels amazing and I don’t feel lonely and this makes me strong and feel understood
Me, an INFP: I need to recharge and be alone for a little while.
The rest of the world: Oh, okay. We are not friends anymore. BYE!
... And that sucks soo much :(((
@@iamsombody439 It does. They feel I'm to conceited... or I do not know what they think.
@@raquelsoto6023 My friends start thinking that I am trying to distance myself from them... or that I think I am too good for them.
Omg!!! SO true!!
this doesnt just hit, it hurts.
because its half *imagination* but honestly half very true.
Being an INFP, for some reason I feel free-er when I'm traveling out of the country. It's that feeling that no one knows who I am, have no cultural expectations from me other than politeness and respect, most probably not related to anyone I know. It's the lightness and I always feel less awkward when locals started conversations with me. I prefer being on my own during travels, but I don't feel as awkward then.
Bingo
This 💯💯💯💯💯
Yes it’s wonderful to travel because it feels like no one expects anything of you except like you said respect and kindness and just being yourself. Makes me want to go travel now lol byee
This is so true . I feel so different when I am in a different country and just meeting and talking to people knowing that I probably will never see them again .
Truuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuue
I’m gonna show this to my partner, just to show him, that I am not the only one who is like this.
We’re together for 10 years now, but I think him seeing this video when we started dating would have helped a lot, because he didn’t get the shutdown things I do every once in a while and it left him upset, because he felt rejected. We talked a lot about what we need in our relationship and he understands me now very well. But it was complicated for a while. I wish I could have just sent this video back then. 😁
This is the most accurate description of me I’ve ever heard. Thank you 🙏
"What INFPs need in a partner" Describes a partner that doesn't exist...😞😔
True
Very true
So true.
My partner is an INFP 🥰 and this was describing us quite well!
@@setj2368 you gave me some hope XD
As an INFP someone telling me to "get over something" is one of my biggest pet peeves. Even if I was about to get over that thing anyways, I'll immediately start the "getting over it" process all over again and be upset again but even more this time and also at you😀😂
Haha, that's such an Fi thing. I'm an ISFP and I can totally relate.
LITERALLY ME
That is so true. Even if they're my best friend, I would get really uncomfortable when they say that.
Oh my gosh same...
Yes! Intentionally trying to get over something only makes the feelings fester! We just need to let ourselves be and ride the storm. I'm gonna cry if I want to.
@Frank James, thank you for making this video! I know I'm 2 years late, but I only just recently found your channel. I know the chances of you replying to this comment, let alone see it, are slim to none. Either way, I just wanted to let you know how thankful I am of your channel. As an INFP, it feels amazing to be understood. Thanks again!
Seconded!
Maaan , THANK YOU SO MUCH for the whole description. I felt like, finally, somebody understands me!
FJ:
- Says infps are (probably) the most unique
- Carefully explains what goes on in our minds
- Keeps quoting David Bowie for the whole video
I want to hug you so badly right now 😁
Bowie = yes always
Sounds like FJ can handle us wink wink
@@Gandellion I was thinking the same!! And Frank is such a cutie, right? Wink wink hahaha
"keeps quoting david bowie" - 'space oddity' no less, 2 words that pretty much sum up an infp. brilliantly done - touche, FJ!
What are the quotes?
Is it my imagination, or do all of us INFPs look a little bit alike? Like we share some kind of ancient bloodline? Or am I just sounding really INFP?
Yeah we look young and childish.
@@Polymath9000 Really?!?! Is that a thing?? Because damn...I looked like I was 10 in High School, which sucked so bad, but paying off now pretty well.
@@blueyedenigma5010 well the truth is it depends but due to lesser exposure to sunlight due us being introverts our skin does not get damaged easily.I myself have looked the same for about six years.
@@Polymath9000 Skin is part of it, but facial bone structure can make a person look younger also. I have round eyes and just more childish features in general. I have seen that the chinese can tell different aspects to personalities, from facial features. I guess it would make sense that if we all have the same personality type we could look very similiar.
@@blueyedenigma5010 hehe I have also roundish eyes and a general softness to my face.But that is due to constantly thinking and smiling like a child .
Thank you so much for this video! I was saying "YES" to every point you made about my INFP-ness... You are spot on 👍 And with my need to be understood, I now feel like I'm not the weirdo that some people make me feel like I am. I'm just particular 😂
When you said the "she knows." Quote it hit my infp soul so hard. Reminds me of when my grandma/best friend in the world passed.
True. I really the time when my mother died and they said, it's normal. Everyone dies. You will just get over it.
Hello, that was my mother who died, not just anyone else!
From that moment on, I always lash them back with the same statement they're telling me.
Isn't that wonderful? 😂
I feel personally attacked but it is true. As an INFP I would rather spend time in my thoughts and building deep connections with people or nothing at all. It's really hard to get out of my own bubble and I usually need another person to help me with socializing. From my experience INFJ's and ISFP's have always been the people I turn to.
"I feel personally attacked but..." 😂😂😂
Same. I’ve even met other INFP’s with a slightly higher socializing threshold than me lol
I'm an INFJ dating an ISFP, and I love him for grounding me a little bit, and bc of his intuition, he can still go pretty "deep" while enjoying the sensory world. But my mom is an INFP and my best friend is an ENFP. They're essential for those 3 hour discussions lol.
Same !!!!! It's so weird being so understood by a complete stranger haha Frank you're the best.
My boyfriend is an INFJ so I agree it's easier being yourself with them :).
Same here. I've met the other INFPs and they're just like me, bubbling on their thoughts, talking about something serious and funny at the same time, and also tend to jump from a distinct to a general or everyday conversation in every topic.
I also might say INTJ protects us, INFJ believes in our true hearts, and ISFP shares the same interest with us.
is it weird that I fell in love with him in the first 5 minutes just because he understands me so much /infp struggle
You’re not alone sis 😩
Same
Hey can u lower ur voice, this comment is too loud
I'm feeling really shy reading this.... don't wanna give anyone satisfaction of me liking them
Owmyy please
Love the Space Oddity - David Bowie reference, and, if I may, the subtle judgement it relates regarding the INFP type. My ex was INFP and I’m *probably* INFJ, and I agree with the content of this video. Just wanted to shout out the really interesting take on the song.
"they feel like their connection with the barista at Starbucks is special" hits hard. and now i feel embarrassed bcs if my INTP ex-colleague doesn't miss me as much as i miss him.. this is very bad and i might have to yeet myself from existence bcs of the letter i wrote to him when he left
Hey, I imagine it feels good to know someone cares that much, even if its not fully reciprocated. It would sure as hell make my day, even if I've only interacted with someone a few times. So, perhaps embarrassing, but also don't be afraid to show you care. As the cliche goes, we never know what someone else might be going through. A nice compliment from a stranger about my hair always makes my day. Keep being wholesome friend
I fell in love with an INTP that worked in a bookshop and I have outright refused to let this go for 8 years. Don't tell me what to do, he will be mine.
@@kurakaji9052 ah thank you😭🥺 i will do my best !
I know. Ot hurts so bad when you care so much about a person and they just don´t feel the same, and you just don´t know why and thar breaks you inside.
omg I’ve written so many intensely sentimental letters to people I felt something for. Good thing I never sent most of them, cause I’ve consistently wanted to yeet myself out of existence when reading them years later.
"INFPs let the practical day to day things pile up until they're overwhelmed"
Well....you didn't need to insult me to get your point across 😑😂
I also feel attacked.
I feel this too 😭
Well in our defense, those things suck snd are boring soooo....
Oof
Me. 😌
As an INFP I subscribed to your channel just for the fact that you told an advertisement was on its way. İt made me laugh like 50 minutes only in 2 seconds. A part of me will keep laughing about it quietely in my brain for a year at least. Thanks man.
“The most unique” stop ur making me blush 🤭
"Just remember, when you're ignoring them, you may be teaching them how to live without you"
Wow. It’s both an excuse and true... so that makes for a sort of really good excuse.
Wha-💔
totally hit the nail, am afraid. INFP here😇
Thats true!
Oh yes. Being ignored is one of the things I hate most as an INFP. I will eighter close doors...or never forget it...or silently punish the behaviour in my passive aggressive ways😋
I like connecting on a deep level and I can't be with someone who brushes things off that are important to me or invalidates my feelings. I also don't want lukewarm love, because I love so deeply, I want my partner to mirror that.
Well articulated, same feeling as INFP guy. A candle that doesn't burn passionately isn't worth lighting, hell; it's more akin to a damp cigarette. A lonely universe, sometimes, where we can only appreciate the ideal and romantic, but this is my mind, my paradigm, and I will stay true to feeling and intuition.
Yes!!!
‘Lukewarm love’ You put it in words!!!!
I feel you. It’s either you get all of me or nothing at all.
As an INFP guy. Yes. I do agree.
This is so on point, I can't even describe how accurate this is-
I loved the Space Oddity references man :]
I also nearly cried a few times during the video because I just love having my ✨feelings✨ be *understood* and relayed back to me in words so I can actually understand them myself, and man, the ✨validation✨... It's just great, so thank you lol
INFP female here with an ENTJ husband. He does all these things. When we did the MBTI test for him it showed he was like 51/49 in the extroverted/introverted spectrum. He helps me get out and keep up my relationships with friends but also understands that I don't like party situations as much as he does so I usually tell him when I want to leave and he let's everyone know we're leaving so I dont have to. He doesn't necessarily understand my emotions but he knows he doesn't understand it and will listen to me anyways. He also helps me take my fantasy life in my head and apply it to real life. He showed me I dont have to be overwhelmed by my emotions all the time and I showed him that he doesn't have to push all his emotions away.
everyone always says that INFP and ENTJ are too different to have a happy relationship, but its obviously not always true. im glad you two complement each other so well! :))
Agreed it's a good match. I've had one too. Actually wrote a book to explain why it works. See Re-modeling the Mind on Amazon.
You are both wonderful people. I wish your love and happiness last forever.
love ENTJs, my bff is one she keeps me grounded and always motivates me to take action and explore things out of my comfort zone
Can confirm as an INFP and my hubby as an INTJ that your account is so accurate. Although he's more introverted, I'm about 50/50 on the extro/intro spectrum so I make up for his lack of extrovertedness lol. He definitely keeps me grounded when all I want to do is crafts haha.
The thing about INFPs are we’re not normal. And we don’t want to be. We try to stray as far as the norm as possible. We are also very private, that’s why we don’t talk about what’s going on in our minds.
Yep, telling us to be normal & just go with the norm are some of the most off-putting things that can happen to us... me speaking from experience as both of my parents are VERY normal people & they kinda try to drill that into my head at every chance they got until recently...
Yeah, I definitely used to have that not-like-other-girls mentality for a while, except it was more like not-like-other-people, I'm working on it now, but because of my personality type and bullying when I was younger it's hard to break the habit sometimes. But yeah, I don't want to be normal.
Yeah man
Yeah, it’s the exact reason why enneagram type 4 is most commonly attributed to INFPs. It’s kind of annoying, but at same time, I literally would hate to be considered “normal”, just because I have this dire need for authenticity and self expression.
I think type 9 INFPs are way more chill when it comes to the need for individuality, since they kind of just morph into whatever role and feel like they relate to most things.
That and most people don't understand and that it is frustrating to be misunderstood.
Thank you for calling me unique. I appreciate it
Ooooh thank you for reminding me that I want someone to explore with me. That is so true. Going on philosophical adventures with someone is like the pinnacle of excitement and romance.
"they feel like the connection with the barista at starbucks is special"
me: has fond feelings towards people i don't even know and spent like 10 mins in a gaming lobby together
no, i don't feel called out at all. why do you ask?
I swear, the connection I had with a girl on the subway was spiritual
@@electrapoptart ...and this is why dating is so hard for us. How can you date someone you don't feel that for when we feel it for random people so much? The absence is like a gaping hole. Is the trick to just not care, steel ourselves to rejection and make moves when we feel it (normal ones, like asking to get to know someone over coffee or hiking, etc.) so all our prospects start with that spark? hmm.... I wonder if I'm on to something. Now I just have to circumvent my anxiety and muster *herculean confidence* 😂
I remember the nickname of a friend I just meet on an Among Us server, I kill him and said after "can we be friends" and he said "yes lol", he puts a banana hat (my nickname is Bananna, yellow, banana hat) and wait me for take a picture before I close the game
@@fx__trash4894 I love this omg
look up the song "the key to being lonely" by bug hunter. I feel like it might resonate with some people here lol.
- fellow infp
Notes - What we need in a Partner:
1. Someone who respects our feelings. Need a partner who understand that you are sometimes emotionally confused and don't want to talk about it. "Get over it" is the wrong thing to say to you, and indicates to a lack of understanding and respect.
2. Need someone to keep us grounded and pull as back into reality. So we need someone that is deeply grounded in reality, our opposite.
3. A partner that helps us to be social, even forces us going out of our comfort zone. INFPs want to stay by themselves most of the time (this may come from the fact that we are afraid of being judged) We need a partner that can act as a social buffer.
4. Sometimes we shut down, get quiet and stick to ourselves, mostly to recharge our batteries. We need someone that respects we need our alone time, to be able to get "out there" again. Need a partner that does not take it personally when we want, or rather need, to be alone from time to time.
5. INFPs love to explore (in our mind). Need a partner that helps us to explore. When we don't go on adventures, we will get bored, especially if we don't have someone to go with us. Without someone who will explore with us, we will feel bored and trapped.
6. Need someone with whom we can foster a deep connection. Not everyone is able to have this kind of intense and special relationship.
7. Need someone who challenges us to grow. Mostly in getting out of our head more and rely less on our own feelings: We have a strong compass about good/bad and what we like and don't like, and can lead us to act kind of selfish and forget about everyone else. We have a superpower: We know who we are, and have a vision that we are very sure of it. But to other people, it can seem that we only care about ourselves. We need to open ourselves up (i.e. grow), to realize other people's judgments are as valid as our own.
tl;dr (@Psychology Tea commented): INFPs are naturally laid-back, passionate, and usually not motivated by money. The most important thing in a partner is mostly having somebody who is very responsible, plans easily and tolerant. This is why ENFJ, ESFJ, ENTJ, or even INTJ usually make great partners, assuming both are mature individuals.
If you have made it to here, hi, I am Gregor :D
Have a great life, and know that I feel your struggle and send some love your way. Existence in the human incarnation is pain, but we only get the one run, so better do the best with it, e.g. start/try to be the best friend of yourselve, or at least try not to be a dick to yourselve all the time, you'll get there ;D ... we will get there :D
👍❤
Thank you ❤️
Thanks for the summary! 🥰
thanks :)
@@blondiek35 I agree with everything except I personally am motivated by money, it’s more so cuz I just have expensive taste and I just like pretty and nice things but I also hate capitalism and the idea of money or that we should work or need money so it’s rlly contradicting😭😭
I love all the "Space Oddity" quotes!
I am an INFP and my partner is a traveling performer. He is very sensitive to my feels and randomly says sweet things that means so much. This is all accurate, he fills most of these needs.