To be an INFP who is able to stand their ground, even if they are not in a situation where their values are actively being challenged, means to be an INFP who has finally figured out how to be as steadfast an advocate for themselves as they are for others. And I promise you, fellow INFP’s, you can definitely get there
I have reach this stage. Even if I still feel guilty when I said NO but I forced myself to say NO. If people cut line when I queue I forced myself to let them know that I’m not okay with it. Sometimes you need to be in uncomfortable situation for your own benefit. Being too kind sometimes not good for yourself, I was too kind and tried to avoid any conflict before and I end up getting bullied. To avoid getting bully in the future I change myself to be tougher and stronger.
@@naristamonica6574 I just know that if I don't say something that usually means I end up in a situation that is far more uncomfortable than the one I'm already in.
I have always been that kind of infp, but I never get any appreciation for that.Instead, I am called "headstrong" and "unable to take people's 'advice'".
In my experience an INFP can become extremely harsh and cold when they feel pushed. I as an INFJ will door slam when a relationship has gone so far that I fear accomodating anymore would break me but an INFP might not just leave but dump all of their mistrust fuelled by their unspoken frustration and accumulated resentment on you before they disappear which can leave you really feeling like absolute and utter shit. Wouldn't ever want to get on the bad side of an INFP.
as an infp, i recently just did what you said to a long time friend of mine as I was tired of their bs and abusive behaviour over the years, so u right
True. It takes a core of steel and a heart of gold to commit to a positive, dreamy exterior in a dark and dreary world like this. My friends always say I look like I'm off to fairyland in my own head, but there are those who talk to me and realise I'm a bit mentally stronger than the impression I give off. They observe and they question why I never did this or that, despite everyone else doing it or expecting me to have done it. It's not about sheep mentality, it's simply respecting my own values and boundaries by committing to those values where it truly counts. The rest leave it to chance, fate, miracles and hard work. If you adhere to lovely principles, surely you'll be received with lovely people as well. Give in kind and get it back maybe even tenfold.
I walked around the lake the other day. Was a great time outside! Then I saw some geese and imagined how cool it would be to become a goose and fly away in a 'V' formation with all my friends. Then I almost walked into a giant puddle and I was back into reality.
As an INFP-T You made me realize that yeah, when someone pushes my bounderies, in revenge, I ghost them, I avoid them at all costs (without letting them know, of course. I wouldn't want them to feel bad and apologise for something they probably don't even know they did, then I would also feel bad and apologize and have to explain why I'm apologizing then she might apologize for the reason I'm apologing cause out of the few weeks I've known her that is 100% what she would do. It would be so awkward...). But then again I wouldn't want to ruin my relationship with them so I might talk to them every once in a while if I ever feel like we're falling too far apart... Feelings are so complicated when you put them into words, but it makes a lot more sense in my head-
Oh hi!! Another INFP-T!! If there’s one thing I’ve learned from the dozens of WEBTOONs I’ve read, it’s that communicating makes a lot of problems end a lot sooner 💜 :)
-SORRY FOR THE WALL OF TEXT- In a positive note, that was exactly what helped me the most. To acknowledge and validate what is important to others greatly improved my communication. I hated when people dismissed my feelings as if they weren't there, but didn't noticed I was doing the same thing almost out of spite, since we tend to get invalidated first with our dreamy stuff. However, when I treated people feelings and values as important as mine, I was able to build trust and navigate their worlds, which in turn made them A LOT more receptive to my ideas. It's not like I need to fully agree with their whats and whys, but if I imagine something like "ok, if X for this guy is as important as Y is to me, how would I feel if I were him?", suddenly it feels easier to be empathetic. And hey, that's a person with the same rights on this Earth as me, so who am I to say that what is right or wrong anyway? For example, my mom is probably an ESFJ, and almost everything she cares about are things I don't care for and vice-versa, especially social stuff. Once, she asked me if she was properly dressed for a country show in a stadium, with boots and everything, and I was like "????? YOU PAID FOR THE TICKETS DRESS ANYWAY YOU WANT" because I would put a black t-shirt, jeans and I'm good to go, no fucks given, that's what I like. But that's the point. To blend is important to her. People's opinions are important to her. And there's nothing I can do because that's who she is. But when I acknowledge that, respect her wishes and sprinkle my opinion in a way to counter the problem I'm seeing (in this case, putting other people thoughts above her own fun), the conversation goes a lot smoother. "Hey, I can help you choose an outfit, and I think it's important that you feel comfortable and have fun. Even though boots are cool, it'll be a really long and hot day, so what about a more light and casual, even modern country look with shoes?" is probably what I would have said today. And this type of approach is making people more authentic around me, since as I'm being inclusive with their wishes and opinions, they feel more confortable and at peace with being themselves (which I LOVE), instead of just doing what I say is right because I felt so. (which is a big INFP problem but that's talk for another day lol) So, yeah. It is work, it is tiring, and society generally don't care about stuff we care about. Sometimes it even feels like it doesn't make sense at all. But at the end of the day, we need to play the game as it is, because there's no other reality and we all share it. HOWEVER, the game doesn't always need to be the same, and to give it a bit of weirdness, generosity, fun and authencity is probably the thing we're most capable of xD And at least in my experience, it may not seem like it, but people fucking notice and love it.
Thank You for showing INFPs as the powerful personality type we are! As an INFP I find it offensive how many people think all INFP's are fragile pushovers and self-absorbed. People have used me before and I turn into the INFP dragon and scare the crap out of them lol because of that I've learned to say "No" and protect myself. It wasn't easy but to any INFPs reading this ITS POSSIBLE YOU CAN DO IT! Remember what others think is your weakness is your unique af strength!!!!
Honestly at 31 years old, I feel like I'm a jaded infp who's perpetually disapppointed in people and no longer a mediator (at least, in online discourse).
yoooooo someone who's close to my age! i'm 33 and i totally get what you're saying. i'm 100% infp, but i'm not really the starry eyed type, especially now at my age. critical thinking and media literacy are things i hold very dearly. but the infp life is about authenticity, and i'm all about authenticity. i feel like that plays a role in how jaded i feel sometimes.
Same. I'm 50 and pretty much out of patience with the foolery of everyone else.....I, of course, am completely devoid of foolery.......you know what? I'm just going to avoid everyone... 😆
Same. 31 next week. Used to be SO idealistic and empathetic. I used to believe the best in people. I used to be so accommodating and kind to people. I wasted many years being overly critical of myself while putting others on a pedastal. Stupid. Some people call me cynical now. I think I'm just realistic. " a cynic is and idealistic that has been disappointed 1 too may times" George Carlin
I'm not completely jaded/disappointed, but I'm getting there. I'm 28 and honestly, I could see myself like that in the near future. I still have a bit of empathy and idealism, but it's slowly running out.
Bruh why would you bother being mediator in twitter/discord anyway 💀 There's always this softie caveat with INFP😂 like "I'm no longer nice guy"👿 "...but not mean either"😇
I remember years ago, my brother kept pushing my buttons and eventually threw a METAL TOY CAR at my forehead. it freakin hurt. All of a sudden my demeanor changed and I was a BEAST. I even scared myself in the process. And even my brother got scared and started darting around the table and trying to say sorry lol. Yeah don't mess with INFP's.
I think as an INFP, I find it hard to make friends online in MMORPG's. Because people are mostly in the solo mindset. And as the years go by, the more I just want to be left alone cause of being jaded. So sometimes it's hard being a feeler type in a world of entitlement, selfishness, and *insert other words here* :(
Maybe you could try a different type of game. I’m an INFP, and I met one of my best friends, who’s also an INFP, while playing Genshin Impact. Because of that game, I've actually met several friends I get along great with today. If you join communities on Discord or online forums related to the games you like, it might be a bit easier to find friendships than in the games themselves
For real- As much as people beat on us, we don't forgive them - we PRETEND how to, because, as the video said, we're social chameleons. You could hate a person (or diverse people) to the core, notice a thousand red flags, but we pretend to not notice it just for the fact to not make any trouble, to not hurt yourself nor said person speaking from experience here-
I can’t lie , I really can’t hold a grudge or anger against someone, even if they deserve it . I literally can’t be angry and one person for more than a day
@@Lavender_Cloud0I can’t forgive people who don’t apologize or don’t do it genuinely. But I can’t hold a grudge against people who deeply apologize from a sincere place.
I am water I am dew (I make you glitter) I am mist (I keep your secrets) I am a hot spring (jump in!) I am rain (I nourish you) I am the clouds (I cover the sun) I am a wave (I carry you or drag you under) when I cry I am overflowing and invincible I only break when I am cold
No do not leak out our secret 😭 we are actually selfish people we just try to appear as pushover because we don't know how to handle them without hurting their feelings otherwise. The only other option is to ghost them. No inbetweens.
Yup yup. I generally don’t recognize my core of steel. But the other day it was demanded of me that I go against one of my strongest inner values, and my response shocked me. I sent a very carefully worded text that was full of love, but also a warning that, if I was forced to betray that inner value, I would become a monster they couldn’t handle. 😅
Thank you for another brilliant video on INFPs, Ben! Yes, we can give up so many things for others but if it's something related to our values or if it is something or someone we value, then nothing can make us give up on that. No manipulation, no threat, literally nothing! Adding to this our impractical nature, we will end up standing up to literally anyone or anything not caring about the outcome. So, though we are extremely empathetic and sensitive, we still can be extremely strong and immovable! Tender yet strong!
Its summed up a few minutes in...if we believe strongly in it we are really unlikely to change our stance....we only believe in a few things strongly so the rest of things are not even worth arguing about
INFPs boldly go their own way, and I made the mistake of never starting a life, because there are so many options, I just couldn't stand the pressure of committing.... (beer at age 18 would have saved me.)
i honestly just avoid people who break the peace, im not a pushover i simply leave where im unwelcome and stay where im welcome but if im ever locked in a situation i have no problem as a last resort standing my ground and fighting back i just dont enjoy it and would rather just avoid those situations all togther
What a wonderful message to us INFPs! Taking our potential vulnerabilities and recasting them as our superpowers. I found your messages here very validating and empowering, not to mention right on point with my INFP personality. Thank you!
What a lovely video; I found it very motivating! For me, in addition to seeing a therapist, one thing that helped me start setting healthy boundaries was my husband, who is an ESTP. He really helped me learn to stand up for myself with toxic people I used to tolerate by giving them the benefit of the doubt and feeling empathy for those who weren’t empathetic towards me. He taught me a bit about how to defend myself, and sometimes he would even defend me or handle those difficult conversations that I didn’t like to have. I think thanks to him, I also learned to stand up for myself more and express my thoughts without so much fear, although I still don't reach his level, haha. He can still seem a bit too harsh at times, but I think we’ve both helped each other in that regard, and he has also become kinder, more patient, and tolerant over time.
Im awkward, misunderstood, always wandering , shifting in mood and characteristic, have my own world, lack focus, bad at social life, its been like this since kid, I struggle most with people, and I also understand that some people have a bad view of me cause well I dont actually explain the reason why for my actions. I know that people are build to connect, I wanted to connect too but Im fast to see the true nature of people and again leaving me no choice but leave people behind because I can see the abuse they do to me. They say infp are generous but im not. 😅😅😅 i would literal cut off or stay away from people who make friends with me but in exchange for me making assignments/ making me an atm/people who have too much arrogance and superiority in them that stresses me out. I know they would trample me anyways if they have traits like that. Its logical to be called selfish and not generous then. I really do wish sometimes the best for people to be nice , that would make the world a better place really.
Yep. INFP here, 7 cats and counting 😻 the clouds 😂, I have done this and have many cloud pictures on my phone. Advanced level optimism when seeing the best in everyone. The disappointment face is real. I also have some scathing poetry related to that disappointment. Wow, all of this is so accurate! Didn't know I needed this today and probably tomorrow too!! Thank you!!
I'm definitely a jaded and cynical INFP. I've encountered many people who seem decent and turn out to be anything but, or I've idealized others in my head and found out they're flawed human beings like all of us, and it was my bad for trying to romanticize them. Setting boundaries, maintaining your morals and having self-respect will most often seem be the right decision. There are times I have "bent" because I want others to be happy, but I won't bend to something that gives me a bad gut feeling or clashes with my core beliefs.
that bit about the silent treatment... omg yes. that. im am gone but here in a trice when crossed. then maybe just gone. for years. then back with a smile
I was personally never a pushover, because even when I saw other people's side I wanted them to know how to treat people (me included). Even though I snap a lot I still have a pacifist mindset and I regret a lot of times when I snapped like this.
We tend to put SO much value on logically constructing situations and forget to appreciate the ones making sure everyone is as good as can be, and honestly, that is a tragedy. It is funny too, cause I am an ENTJ (Basically the opposite of this personality), and I have to accommodate for the opposite and learn when to use sensitivity and kindness in place of logical reasoning, for what it is worth I am good at it, but still, I appreciate INFP's for the natural ability of being peacekeepers (: and overall amazing people
Title is true, I tend to hide my potential in case I hurt or over shine someone else. E.g. teacher asks question I’ll only give 70% because if I went 100% no one would answer better and it’d would make me look pompous. Or if someone did something absolutely ridiculous I want to go 100% with my Te but then they wouldn’t ever recover so I’ll only go 20% most of the time.
No, there’s just a lot of sh*t we genuinely don’t care about. Like why are we supposed to care so much about cutting in line, or something small. Yes I struggle with saying no sometimes but sometimes you gotta stand up for yourself/ someone else
I have been publishing poetry on Threads for a year straight now! Despite having only 20 followers and basically no responses whenever I post them, I love looking back on them every now and then. It is like an abstract diary :)
as INTP who sometimes have the INFP mode I really understand this video. For daily social interaction I'd came off as an INFP so I could really relate to this. And that's how I'd describe my social life. I love writing poem from time to time but usually I'm more like the math theory guy lmao.
I also pretend to be oblivious about things lol. I don't really know why, but I guess it's because at some point I found it advantageous in one aspect, like acting oblivious or dense than I really am to see people's reactions, what they would do, and it's just honestly kind of entertaining to me. Plus sometimes I really just can't deal with social cues that ate being sent to me so I just act like I don't quite get it for no reason at all. Now everyone thinks I'm really oblivious, especially to kinda kinky-rated stuff or hidden social cues within the group and stuff. Like that one time where I feel like my crush is flirting with me in her own INTP way, but I just act oblivious to it and make her flustered by also reciprocating, in a seemingly "casual" way lmao. It's really entertaining
The title made me feel very sceptical since I am an INFP AND very fragile due to emotional stress, but this video was so sweet and I feel called out by almost every sentence. Thank you for a wonderful video❤
just tried of this sensitivity in some days. you know what matters what to do what to keep in mind all that values inside, but the hard part is our depth of feelings. imagine depression episode so deep because its INFPs
I need help figuring something out. You said "if something feels off, pay attention, your intuition is trying to tell you something". This shit sends me down the spiral EVERY TIME. It's ALWAYS feels as tho something is off. But I don't know what, no matter how hard I try to figure it out. I've solved most of my life problems in the past year and SOMETHING IS STILL OFF. That confuses the heck out of me. I just accepted that maybe I just have a generalized anxiety and something will always feel off till the day I die 😢
Maybe you should take time for yourself to relax and reflect. Put your mind at ease with a hobby or activity you enjoy. I may not know your situation, but if a certain place or person is giving you this Tension/Anxiety. You may have to distance yourself from whatever it is. Just my two cents. Just enjoy your life and keep seeking things to inspire and comfort you.
@@spottedslash4256 thank you so much for taking your time to write such thoughtful response 🥰 my ex husband caused me a lot of anxiety but I just got divorced and I'm dating the sweetest person in the world! But I think you are right about taking the time to relax and think. Between school, work and my friends, I don't have time to think about anything else...
@@anastasiaevans4884 Congratulations on your New situation. I wish the best for you miss. Just take you time, and think whats best for your health. Take care.✌
@@anastasiaevans4884 Could be a spiritual thing/awakening, at least in my experience. Not sure what your beliefs are so I won't assume btw, but my anxiety was shooting through the roof for over a year nonstop- panic, nausea, misery, existential dread and crisis, the whole thing- setting that life aspect into order and reflecting on my beliefs/faith has helped me settle down my 'constant off feeling' anxiety time and time again. For me personally, it was like a feeling of, well no wonder something felt off, it was a spiritual thing that I wasn't able to physically mark off a checklist so it was gonna be there no matter what other things I tried, until I discovered that- Just my two cents tho. I'm not a people reading expert, I apologize if I said anything wrong. Hope that you find peace with yourself and your life however it goes regardless! Do relax, tho. One thing at a time. Whatever it is in any case, panic doesn't do anything but muddle up your brain and spirit, however life goes it goes anyhow, so... intuition is absolutely to be listened to oftentimes perhaps, sure, half the time my intuition is just simply telling me I'm overexerting focus or worry on things that're just depleting my energy in the long run, and that's important, buuuut persisting obsessive anxiety is often just wasted energy in of itself all to no real end goal, and it tricks you no matter what the real issue is or isn't (not that that knowledge always magically makes it go away I know lol, but as a general rule, I've discovered this over and over again for the last 4 years.) God bless, enjoy your day/night. :) 💖
@tinaangelica2760 thank you for your very detailed and thoughtful response 🤗 I really should reflect on the spiritual part of my life. I've used to meditate daily and also, playing piano and guitar felt like meditation to me. But I haven't done it in the long time (since I started school 2 years ago). Maybe, if I start dedicating time to that again, I will feel much calmer and my anxiety with reduce gradually 😌 thank you so much again! I wish you all the best 🥰
I dont want to yield! I dont want to yield! I dont want to give up any of my dreams ! Says my heart every time I talk about duty and responsibility and working to put food on the table.😢
Yoooo Creating something out of madness and negativity is just so INFP, I remember creating 10+ stanza long poem and 10 page diary from what I feel and What I wanna do to them and myself, its better to just write it down than actually doing it Also the Silent treatment was my main weapon when I'm extremely got hurt and mad,
Hi, Benjamin. Thanks for making these videos. I feel like crying, because i feel like finally being understood. Always troubled about indecisiveness, but seeing other people has almost no trouble about it, makes me feel like "is there something wrong with me..?" and frustrated
The thing people dont understand about INFP'S is that we can be like John Wick. We want to enjoy our lives, and we are willing to make some compromises to do that, but if you kill our dog or cross our boundaries, we are more than happy to put our lives on the back burner to make you pay, and the thing is that we wont just swing at you blindly like others. We will plan. We will pool our resources. We will go through every possible scenario in our minds. You just gave our lives a new purpose, and that purpose is to make you pay. It may take us a while to get there, but when we finally execute our plans, things tend to go off without a hitch. We dont jump into every battle, but we tend to win the ones we do pick. If you push an INFP'S buttons, your playing russian roulette.
I used to be a pushover at work but I am an old INFP and when we mature we don't take any nonsense. I speak up now. I have very high boundaries and woe be tide the person who tries to cross them. I have a wicked temper and I tell them like it is.
I'm infp, I'm really a pushover... lol.. but one time one of my classmate really push my limit that I really lush out, even my friends and teacher were shock cuz they though I have pretty long patience..people find me a good person because I'm generous and can't say no.. hahaha, how ironic. They didn't know that I am literally badmouthing them inside of my mind. 😂
Shushh.. don't let the secret out 🤭 but in all seriousness, people probably do get this about us but more at a subconscious level. There's a baseline level of respect infps always seem to get due to this realization.
The irony is that we attribute to "kindness" some characteristics that diminish the power of kindness. I firmly believe that true kindness has nothing to do with passivity. For example tolerance, passive patience, not saying no, putting others' needs first are not true kindness to me anymore because they stem from a place of insecurity. Just some thoughts from an INFP who has been bored of interconnecting of being Kind to being Comfortable to others.
@@vemrith o and BTW 'the term 'entitled' refers to race and economic theory, not intelligence. You're being prejudiced at worst, uneducatrd at best. I am entitled - in the sense I am ENTITLED to think and speak whatever I want. Go back to school.
I'm an INFP and in truth my INFP is actually my Borderline Personality Disorder. BPD has a huge stigma so people don't see the good parts of it. I heard lots of BPD people are also INFP and because of the stigma people don't see the overlap that I do. Me being a pushover is mainly a fear of conflict/abandonment/rejection and growing up in environments where my boundaries have been broken which I'm doing DBT for. I appreciate the support for the INFP's cause I'm honestly tired of being the joke of the MBTI world.
I've had a hard time with boundaries, just because I'm nice people think it's okay to take advantage of me, but I don't like playing the victim I will set clear boundaries, I know it's my fault
I may not do scathing poetry, but I do create scathing arguments against those who pushed my boundaries too much that I verbally recite all of their bad behavior and the consequences of their bad actions straight to their face. I basically crush their egos into fragments to the point they are afraid of me because I am not afraid to call them out on their bad behavior. I have made guys be afraid of me because of that. I'm basically the Mom friend/acquaintance that is notorious for giving very scathing lectures whenever I see any misbehavior. 😅
INFPs I know with age become pretty capable and have more backbone than people think. Inferior Te is still Te. I'm INTP and my younger brother (28) and my cousin (30) as well as a friend in his 30s are all secretly insecure but also have little problems voicing their real feelings. On the other hand, I'm less sensitive to what most people think but I use Fe so I'm terrified of coming across the wrong way and will more likely not rock the boat.
As an INFP, I’m working on
- Setting boundaries
- Being present
- Trying not to be such a perfectionist
Me too! till I found a video about the pros of being delusional 😂
To be an INFP who is able to stand their ground, even if they are not in a situation where their values are actively being challenged, means to be an INFP who has finally figured out how to be as steadfast an advocate for themselves as they are for others. And I promise you, fellow INFP’s, you can definitely get there
Those kind of INFPS are inspirations to all of us 🫡
Yes, I have to get there!
I have reach this stage. Even if I still feel guilty when I said NO but I forced myself to say NO. If people cut line when I queue I forced myself to let them know that I’m not okay with it. Sometimes you need to be in uncomfortable situation for your own benefit. Being too kind sometimes not good for yourself, I was too kind and tried to avoid any conflict before and I end up getting bullied. To avoid getting bully in the future I change myself to be tougher and stronger.
@@naristamonica6574 I just know that if I don't say something that usually means I end up in a situation that is far more uncomfortable than the one I'm already in.
I have always been that kind of infp, but I never get any appreciation for that.Instead, I am called "headstrong" and "unable to take people's 'advice'".
As an infp..i think we all really need to work on setting boundaries and being selfish...for once..and for a change
Same 🙁
Yes we do😅
I did once and felt guilty afterwards lol, but I don't regret it a single bit. Good thing I managed to do that, my future self would thank me a lot.
You surely can, from a fellow infp who's not afraid to say no
we do but then we get butted in with others calling us "selfish" when they should re-evaluate their own actions 😭
I'm the literal embodiment of the INFP stereotype, so within the first 30 seconds of the video you had already called me out 😭
me too like i am INTJ but INFP matches with me so much
SAME
Me too
@@bratumn I must be the opposite of u bcs I’m infp but act so much like a intj
In my experience an INFP can become extremely harsh and cold when they feel pushed. I as an INFJ will door slam when a relationship has gone so far that I fear accomodating anymore would break me but an INFP might not just leave but dump all of their mistrust fuelled by their unspoken frustration and accumulated resentment on you before they disappear which can leave you really feeling like absolute and utter shit. Wouldn't ever want to get on the bad side of an INFP.
I think you're correct about that. For me as an INFP the last drop may take years to come, but when it does I'm out
as an infp, i recently just did what you said to a long time friend of mine as I was tired of their bs and abusive behaviour over the years, so u right
I’ve been seeing an INFP for a while, I am about to door slam him.
It takes time for us to leave, we like commitment, so when we leave, we leave with due explanation 😅.
As an Infp yes, but I consider that rather a bad trait. Avoiding conflict is bad, it’s builds resentment until you explode
True. It takes a core of steel and a heart of gold to commit to a positive, dreamy exterior in a dark and dreary world like this. My friends always say I look like I'm off to fairyland in my own head, but there are those who talk to me and realise I'm a bit mentally stronger than the impression I give off. They observe and they question why I never did this or that, despite everyone else doing it or expecting me to have done it. It's not about sheep mentality, it's simply respecting my own values and boundaries by committing to those values where it truly counts. The rest leave it to chance, fate, miracles and hard work. If you adhere to lovely principles, surely you'll be received with lovely people as well. Give in kind and get it back maybe even tenfold.
❤️
Amen dawg, amen
Mann, that was Amazing💗💗
I walked around the lake the other day. Was a great time outside! Then I saw some geese and imagined how cool it would be to become a goose and fly away in a 'V' formation with all my friends. Then I almost walked into a giant puddle and I was back into reality.
This is so real
As an INFP-T You made me realize that yeah, when someone pushes my bounderies, in revenge, I ghost them, I avoid them at all costs (without letting them know, of course. I wouldn't want them to feel bad and apologise for something they probably don't even know they did, then I would also feel bad and apologize and have to explain why I'm apologizing then she might apologize for the reason I'm apologing cause out of the few weeks I've known her that is 100% what she would do. It would be so awkward...). But then again I wouldn't want to ruin my relationship with them so I might talk to them every once in a while if I ever feel like we're falling too far apart... Feelings are so complicated when you put them into words, but it makes a lot more sense in my head-
I can relate 😅👍
this is too relatable, as another INFP-T
Oh hi!! Another INFP-T!! If there’s one thing I’ve learned from the dozens of WEBTOONs I’ve read, it’s that communicating makes a lot of problems end a lot sooner 💜 :)
I know exactly what you mean
You're making perfect sense
Hard lesson for an infp only learned through experience over time?
People don't care in the same ways you do.
very hard to accept this..
same. I don't think I have or might ever, frankly... I just know it, but I don't accept it.
-SORRY FOR THE WALL OF TEXT-
In a positive note, that was exactly what helped me the most.
To acknowledge and validate what is important to others greatly improved my communication. I hated when people dismissed my feelings as if they weren't there, but didn't noticed I was doing the same thing almost out of spite, since we tend to get invalidated first with our dreamy stuff.
However, when I treated people feelings and values as important as mine, I was able to build trust and navigate their worlds, which in turn made them A LOT more receptive to my ideas. It's not like I need to fully agree with their whats and whys, but if I imagine something like "ok, if X for this guy is as important as Y is to me, how would I feel if I were him?", suddenly it feels easier to be empathetic. And hey, that's a person with the same rights on this Earth as me, so who am I to say that what is right or wrong anyway?
For example, my mom is probably an ESFJ, and almost everything she cares about are things I don't care for and vice-versa, especially social stuff. Once, she asked me if she was properly dressed for a country show in a stadium, with boots and everything, and I was like "????? YOU PAID FOR THE TICKETS DRESS ANYWAY YOU WANT" because I would put a black t-shirt, jeans and I'm good to go, no fucks given, that's what I like.
But that's the point.
To blend is important to her. People's opinions are important to her. And there's nothing I can do because that's who she is.
But when I acknowledge that, respect her wishes and sprinkle my opinion in a way to counter the problem I'm seeing (in this case, putting other people thoughts above her own fun), the conversation goes a lot smoother.
"Hey, I can help you choose an outfit, and I think it's important that you feel comfortable and have fun. Even though boots are cool, it'll be a really long and hot day, so what about a more light and casual, even modern country look with shoes?" is probably what I would have said today. And this type of approach is making people more authentic around me, since as I'm being inclusive with their wishes and opinions, they feel more confortable and at peace with being themselves (which I LOVE), instead of just doing what I say is right because I felt so. (which is a big INFP problem but that's talk for another day lol)
So, yeah. It is work, it is tiring, and society generally don't care about stuff we care about. Sometimes it even feels like it doesn't make sense at all. But at the end of the day, we need to play the game as it is, because there's no other reality and we all share it.
HOWEVER, the game doesn't always need to be the same, and to give it a bit of weirdness, generosity, fun and authencity is probably the thing we're most capable of xD And at least in my experience, it may not seem like it, but people fucking notice and love it.
Yeah, many times I have to tell myself “nobody caresss” when my imagination creates too much doubt. It seems to be true many times so far.
Thank You for showing INFPs as the powerful personality type we are! As an INFP I find it offensive how many people think all INFP's are fragile pushovers and self-absorbed. People have used me before and I turn into the INFP dragon and scare the crap out of them lol because of that I've learned to say "No" and protect myself. It wasn't easy but to any INFPs reading this ITS POSSIBLE YOU CAN DO IT! Remember what others think is your weakness is your unique af strength!!!!
Honestly at 31 years old, I feel like I'm a jaded infp who's perpetually disapppointed in people and no longer a mediator (at least, in online discourse).
yoooooo someone who's close to my age! i'm 33 and i totally get what you're saying. i'm 100% infp, but i'm not really the starry eyed type, especially now at my age. critical thinking and media literacy are things i hold very dearly.
but the infp life is about authenticity, and i'm all about authenticity. i feel like that plays a role in how jaded i feel sometimes.
Same. I'm 50 and pretty much out of patience with the foolery of everyone else.....I, of course, am completely devoid of foolery.......you know what? I'm just going to avoid everyone...
😆
Same. 31 next week. Used to be SO idealistic and empathetic. I used to believe the best in people. I used to be so accommodating and kind to people. I wasted many years being overly critical of myself while putting others on a pedastal. Stupid. Some people call me cynical now. I think I'm just realistic. " a cynic is and idealistic that has been disappointed 1 too may times" George Carlin
I'm not completely jaded/disappointed, but I'm getting there. I'm 28 and honestly, I could see myself like that in the near future. I still have a bit of empathy and idealism, but it's slowly running out.
Bruh why would you bother being mediator in twitter/discord anyway 💀
There's always this softie caveat with INFP😂 like
"I'm no longer nice guy"👿 "...but not mean either"😇
I was literally writing poetry in Math class today.
Fr
Oh, yes! I can be pushed much farther than most people. BUT, there is a point past which I WILL NOT GO. IF YOU EVER SEE IT, ITS FRIGHTENING 😂
I remember years ago, my brother kept pushing my buttons and eventually threw a METAL TOY CAR at my forehead. it freakin hurt. All of a sudden my demeanor changed and I was a BEAST. I even scared myself in the process. And even my brother got scared and started darting around the table and trying to say sorry lol. Yeah don't mess with INFP's.
FR! I've scared grown men b4 lol. Don't mess with INFPs or you'll regret it
It's hard to control because it happens so rarely, it's like I'm bad at being angry 😅 But I'm learning how to handle it before it gets to that point
I think as an INFP, I find it hard to make friends online in MMORPG's. Because people are mostly in the solo mindset. And as the years go by, the more I just want to be left alone cause of being jaded. So sometimes it's hard being a feeler type in a world of entitlement, selfishness, and *insert other words here* :(
Maybe you could try a different type of game. I’m an INFP, and I met one of my best friends, who’s also an INFP, while playing Genshin Impact. Because of that game, I've actually met several friends I get along great with today. If you join communities on Discord or online forums related to the games you like, it might be a bit easier to find friendships than in the games themselves
Try playing Sky: Children of the Light. I enjoyed that game and met a lot of INFP’s like me
@@flamie1920 thank you! I appreciate it
I am an infp and I want to adopt all the people from the comment section.
we're INFPs. hearing that, I'm sure we're all ready to prepare the necessary papers.
It's a nature call to reunite this big family 🕊️ @@nonya-bizness
And we only PRETEND to forgive the wicked!
For real-
As much as people beat on us, we don't forgive them - we PRETEND how to, because, as the video said, we're social chameleons. You could hate a person (or diverse people) to the core, notice a thousand red flags, but we pretend to not notice it just for the fact to not make any trouble, to not hurt yourself nor said person
speaking from experience here-
I can’t lie , I really can’t hold a grudge or anger against someone, even if they deserve it . I literally can’t be angry and one person for more than a day
As a Scorpio INFP I NEVER FORGET!!
As an Infp, I don't see myself forgiving someone if I don't mean it.
@@Lavender_Cloud0I can’t forgive people who don’t apologize or don’t do it genuinely. But I can’t hold a grudge against people who deeply apologize from a sincere place.
thank you for making my "bad qualities" into positive ones
makes me feel better about my self~
I am water
I am dew
(I make you glitter)
I am mist
(I keep your secrets)
I am a hot spring
(jump in!)
I am rain
(I nourish you)
I am the clouds
(I cover the sun)
I am a wave
(I carry you or drag you under)
when I cry
I am overflowing
and invincible
I only break
when I am cold
No do not leak out our secret 😭 we are actually selfish people we just try to appear as pushover because we don't know how to handle them without hurting their feelings otherwise. The only other option is to ghost them. No inbetweens.
Omg! Yes!! 😂this is exactly what ive been feeling hahaha. Or we are just cowards who hate conflicts sometime
Yup yup. I generally don’t recognize my core of steel. But the other day it was demanded of me that I go against one of my strongest inner values, and my response shocked me. I sent a very carefully worded text that was full of love, but also a warning that, if I was forced to betray that inner value, I would become a monster they couldn’t handle. 😅
Thank you for another brilliant video on INFPs, Ben! Yes, we can give up so many things for others but if it's something related to our values or if it is something or someone we value, then nothing can make us give up on that. No manipulation, no threat, literally nothing!
Adding to this our impractical nature, we will end up standing up to literally anyone or anything not caring about the outcome. So, though we are extremely empathetic and sensitive, we still can be extremely strong and immovable! Tender yet strong!
Its summed up a few minutes in...if we believe strongly in it we are really unlikely to change our stance....we only believe in a few things strongly so the rest of things are not even worth arguing about
INFPs boldly go their own way, and I made the mistake of never starting a life, because there are so many options, I just couldn't stand the pressure of committing....
(beer at age 18 would have saved me.)
i honestly just avoid people who break the peace, im not a pushover i simply leave where im unwelcome and stay where im welcome but if im ever locked in a situation i have no problem as a last resort standing my ground and fighting back i just dont enjoy it and would rather just avoid those situations all togther
Usually I only get a few percentage in between INFP and INFJ but the beginning of this was too relatable lmao
INFP did not invent sadness, INFP invented hope...!!
All of this, all of it....*chefs kiss*
What a wonderful message to us INFPs! Taking our potential vulnerabilities and recasting them as our superpowers. I found your messages here very validating and empowering, not to mention right on point with my INFP personality. Thank you!
What a lovely video; I found it very motivating! For me, in addition to seeing a therapist, one thing that helped me start setting healthy boundaries was my husband, who is an ESTP. He really helped me learn to stand up for myself with toxic people I used to tolerate by giving them the benefit of the doubt and feeling empathy for those who weren’t empathetic towards me. He taught me a bit about how to defend myself, and sometimes he would even defend me or handle those difficult conversations that I didn’t like to have. I think thanks to him, I also learned to stand up for myself more and express my thoughts without so much fear, although I still don't reach his level, haha. He can still seem a bit too harsh at times, but I think we’ve both helped each other in that regard, and he has also become kinder, more patient, and tolerant over time.
Im awkward, misunderstood, always wandering , shifting in mood and characteristic, have my own world, lack focus, bad at social life, its been like this since kid, I struggle most with people, and I also understand that some people have a bad view of me cause well I dont actually explain the reason why for my actions. I know that people are build to connect, I wanted to connect too but Im fast to see the true nature of people and again leaving me no choice but leave people behind because I can see the abuse they do to me. They say infp are generous but im not. 😅😅😅 i would literal cut off or stay away from people who make friends with me but in exchange for me making assignments/ making me an atm/people who have too much arrogance and superiority in them that stresses me out. I know they would trample me anyways if they have traits like that. Its logical to be called selfish and not generous then. I really do wish sometimes the best for people to be nice , that would make the world a better place really.
Yep. INFP here, 7 cats and counting 😻 the clouds 😂, I have done this and have many cloud pictures on my phone. Advanced level optimism when seeing the best in everyone. The disappointment face is real. I also have some scathing poetry related to that disappointment. Wow, all of this is so accurate! Didn't know I needed this today and probably tomorrow too!! Thank you!!
I'm definitely a jaded and cynical INFP. I've encountered many people who seem decent and turn out to be anything but, or I've idealized others in my head and found out they're flawed human beings like all of us, and it was my bad for trying to romanticize them. Setting boundaries, maintaining your morals and having self-respect will most often seem be the right decision. There are times I have "bent" because I want others to be happy, but I won't bend to something that gives me a bad gut feeling or clashes with my core beliefs.
that bit about the silent treatment... omg yes. that. im am gone but here in a trice when crossed. then maybe just gone. for years. then back with a smile
I was personally never a pushover, because even when I saw other people's side I wanted them to know how to treat people (me included). Even though I snap a lot I still have a pacifist mindset and I regret a lot of times when I snapped like this.
We tend to put SO much value on logically constructing situations and forget to appreciate the ones making sure everyone is as good as can be, and honestly, that is a tragedy.
It is funny too, cause I am an ENTJ (Basically the opposite of this personality), and I have to accommodate for the opposite and learn when to use sensitivity and kindness in place of logical reasoning, for what it is worth I am good at it, but still, I appreciate INFP's for the natural ability of being peacekeepers (: and overall amazing people
Title is true, I tend to hide my potential in case I hurt or over shine someone else. E.g. teacher asks question I’ll only give 70% because if I went 100% no one would answer better and it’d would make me look pompous. Or if someone did something absolutely ridiculous I want to go 100% with my Te but then they wouldn’t ever recover so I’ll only go 20% most of the time.
No, there’s just a lot of sh*t we genuinely don’t care about. Like why are we supposed to care so much about cutting in line, or something small. Yes I struggle with saying no sometimes but sometimes you gotta stand up for yourself/ someone else
I was having a really bad day, feeling terrible about myself
Thank you for this video🥺🥺
It means a ton to me 💕
My partner is an INFP. I am an INFJ. I love leaning more about him. Thank you so much for your wonderful and wholesome Videos. :)
You always make me feel so good and understood, which is very very uncommon for an INFP. Thank you :)
INFP currently on the 5th month of burnout here. How relatable your words are ! Thanks 💙
I have been publishing poetry on Threads for a year straight now! Despite having only 20 followers and basically no responses whenever I post them, I love looking back on them every now and then. It is like an abstract diary :)
I'm in my disappointment phase after 5 days of trying to understand and be optimistic then falling sick, now I feel called out 😅
as INTP who sometimes have the INFP mode I really understand this video. For daily social interaction I'd came off as an INFP so I could really relate to this. And that's how I'd describe my social life. I love writing poem from time to time but usually I'm more like the math theory guy lmao.
Me too but not the poem part XD I feel like an info most of times
I love infps!
infp, and yes i am the biggest pushover, sure i can stand up for myself every once in awhile, but you full well know im crying 5 minutes later.
Thanks!
Wow, thank you! ☺️
We're the opposite of 'All bark, no bite'.
0:34 I feel called out. Cant decide if i should keep watching or not helpl
I also pretend to be oblivious about things lol. I don't really know why, but I guess it's because at some point I found it advantageous in one aspect, like acting oblivious or dense than I really am to see people's reactions, what they would do, and it's just honestly kind of entertaining to me. Plus sometimes I really just can't deal with social cues that ate being sent to me so I just act like I don't quite get it for no reason at all. Now everyone thinks I'm really oblivious, especially to kinda kinky-rated stuff or hidden social cues within the group and stuff. Like that one time where I feel like my crush is flirting with me in her own INTP way, but I just act oblivious to it and make her flustered by also reciprocating, in a seemingly "casual" way lmao. It's really entertaining
The title made me feel very sceptical since I am an INFP AND very fragile due to emotional stress, but this video was so sweet and I feel called out by almost every sentence. Thank you for a wonderful video❤
saying Fi doms fragile is like saying Te/Ti doms illogical, Si doms forgetful, Se doms impractical, Ne doms boring, and Fe doms oblivious.
fr tho
authenticity often involves throwing away fragility in favor of being your authentic self.
i don't 100% agree on Si though
@@niabadb In a weird way, I do understand you
im INTP(i think) but i relate to this.
Loving the new animated style
just tried of this sensitivity in some days. you know what matters what to do what to keep in mind all that values inside, but the hard part is our depth of feelings. imagine depression episode so deep because its INFPs
I need help figuring something out. You said "if something feels off, pay attention, your intuition is trying to tell you something". This shit sends me down the spiral EVERY TIME. It's ALWAYS feels as tho something is off. But I don't know what, no matter how hard I try to figure it out. I've solved most of my life problems in the past year and SOMETHING IS STILL OFF. That confuses the heck out of me. I just accepted that maybe I just have a generalized anxiety and something will always feel off till the day I die 😢
Maybe you should take time for yourself to relax and reflect. Put your mind at ease with a hobby or activity you enjoy. I may not know your situation, but if a certain place or person is giving you this Tension/Anxiety. You may have to distance yourself from whatever it is. Just my two cents. Just enjoy your life and keep seeking things to inspire and comfort you.
@@spottedslash4256 thank you so much for taking your time to write such thoughtful response 🥰 my ex husband caused me a lot of anxiety but I just got divorced and I'm dating the sweetest person in the world! But I think you are right about taking the time to relax and think. Between school, work and my friends, I don't have time to think about anything else...
@@anastasiaevans4884 Congratulations on your New situation. I wish the best for you miss. Just take you time, and think whats best for your health. Take care.✌
@@anastasiaevans4884 Could be a spiritual thing/awakening, at least in my experience. Not sure what your beliefs are so I won't assume btw, but my anxiety was shooting through the roof for over a year nonstop- panic, nausea, misery, existential dread and crisis, the whole thing- setting that life aspect into order and reflecting on my beliefs/faith has helped me settle down my 'constant off feeling' anxiety time and time again. For me personally, it was like a feeling of, well no wonder something felt off, it was a spiritual thing that I wasn't able to physically mark off a checklist so it was gonna be there no matter what other things I tried, until I discovered that- Just my two cents tho. I'm not a people reading expert, I apologize if I said anything wrong. Hope that you find peace with yourself and your life however it goes regardless!
Do relax, tho. One thing at a time. Whatever it is in any case, panic doesn't do anything but muddle up your brain and spirit, however life goes it goes anyhow, so... intuition is absolutely to be listened to oftentimes perhaps, sure, half the time my intuition is just simply telling me I'm overexerting focus or worry on things that're just depleting my energy in the long run, and that's important, buuuut persisting obsessive anxiety is often just wasted energy in of itself all to no real end goal, and it tricks you no matter what the real issue is or isn't (not that that knowledge always magically makes it go away I know lol, but as a general rule, I've discovered this over and over again for the last 4 years.) God bless, enjoy your day/night. :) 💖
@tinaangelica2760 thank you for your very detailed and thoughtful response 🤗 I really should reflect on the spiritual part of my life. I've used to meditate daily and also, playing piano and guitar felt like meditation to me. But I haven't done it in the long time (since I started school 2 years ago). Maybe, if I start dedicating time to that again, I will feel much calmer and my anxiety with reduce gradually 😌 thank you so much again! I wish you all the best 🥰
The best advice I have ever seen!!
I dont want to yield! I dont want to yield! I dont want to give up any of my dreams ! Says my heart every time I talk about duty and responsibility and working to put food on the table.😢
this video made me happy, i'm ready to create art !!
As an INFP this video feels oddly uplifting bduwsd
As an infp,I loved the video
Yoooo Creating something out of madness and negativity is just so INFP, I remember creating 10+ stanza long poem and 10 page diary from what I feel and What I wanna do to them and myself, its better to just write it down than actually doing it
Also the Silent treatment was my main weapon when I'm extremely got hurt and mad,
Fi-Si convergent type aka the INFP, is very tough and stoic typically ❤
0:26 _whips my head to the right_
Not the coffee shop! *clutches pearls*
Hi, Benjamin. Thanks for making these videos.
I feel like crying, because i feel like finally being understood.
Always troubled about indecisiveness, but seeing other people has almost no trouble about it, makes me feel like "is there something wrong with me..?" and frustrated
Oh god....one minute in and you've nailed down my entire personality 😅
Love your videos 😂❤
im an enfp and u be hittin every part of me even still SIGHHHHH
6:10 INFP’s can go for your emotional jugular if they’re pushed far enough, but probably feel bad for you to do so 😭😂
The thing people dont understand about INFP'S is that we can be like John Wick. We want to enjoy our lives, and we are willing to make some compromises to do that, but if you kill our dog or cross our boundaries, we are more than happy to put our lives on the back burner to make you pay, and the thing is that we wont just swing at you blindly like others. We will plan. We will pool our resources. We will go through every possible scenario in our minds. You just gave our lives a new purpose, and that purpose is to make you pay. It may take us a while to get there, but when we finally execute our plans, things tend to go off without a hitch. We dont jump into every battle, but we tend to win the ones we do pick. If you push an INFP'S buttons, your playing russian roulette.
I used to be a pushover at work but I am an old INFP and when we mature we don't take any nonsense. I speak up now. I have very high boundaries and woe be tide the person who tries to cross them. I have a wicked temper and I tell them like it is.
I'm infp, I'm really a pushover... lol.. but one time one of my classmate really push my limit that I really lush out, even my friends and teacher were shock cuz they though I have pretty long patience..people find me a good person because I'm generous and can't say no.. hahaha, how ironic. They didn't know that I am literally badmouthing them inside of my mind. 😂
Shushh.. don't let the secret out 🤭 but in all seriousness, people probably do get this about us but more at a subconscious level. There's a baseline level of respect infps always seem to get due to this realization.
Amazing 😄 Thank you!
LOL ❣️ thank you ❤
As an INFP , this is so relatable lol
i love you 😭
The irony is that we attribute to "kindness" some characteristics that diminish the power of kindness. I firmly believe that true kindness has nothing to do with passivity. For example tolerance, passive patience, not saying no, putting others' needs first are not true kindness to me anymore because they stem from a place of insecurity. Just some thoughts from an INFP who has been bored of interconnecting of being Kind to being Comfortable to others.
2:28 Here's the twist 😊 guys 👹
I love this video ❤
Nice animations! Good idea for better RUclips retention
when you truly wake up as an INFP it's great. You can switch off some things that make you seem like a doormat
Excellent!!! ❤😊
😂John Lennon was a classic EXTROVERT in every way -- an ENFP who, while full of ENFP amazing IDEAS, he lacked the profundity necessary of INFPs.
Spongebob energy
@@squirrelsyrup1921 like literally every ENFP I know
Funny how you think ENFPs are not deep enough. Sounds entitled
@@vemrith no, just smart and profound.
@@vemrith o and BTW 'the term 'entitled' refers to race and economic theory, not intelligence. You're being prejudiced at worst, uneducatrd at best.
I am entitled - in the sense I am ENTITLED to think and speak whatever I want. Go back to school.
I'm an INFP and in truth my INFP is actually my Borderline Personality Disorder. BPD has a huge stigma so people don't see the good parts of it. I heard lots of BPD people are also INFP and because of the stigma people don't see the overlap that I do. Me being a pushover is mainly a fear of conflict/abandonment/rejection and growing up in environments where my boundaries have been broken which I'm doing DBT for. I appreciate the support for the INFP's cause I'm honestly tired of being the joke of the MBTI world.
Learning to embrace who I am. 🙂↔️
Talked my way out of so many fights because I trained in kickboxing, and was worried I'd really hurt someone.
I like to call it reckless optimism
bro explained me so well
I've had a hard time with boundaries, just because I'm nice people think it's okay to take advantage of me, but I don't like playing the victim I will set clear boundaries, I know it's my fault
7:00 as an INFP that was actually insanely helpful and accurate advice! TYSM!
As an infp, i love this video full of cats
Love your video🤍
I may not do scathing poetry, but I do create scathing arguments against those who pushed my boundaries too much that I verbally recite all of their bad behavior and the consequences of their bad actions straight to their face. I basically crush their egos into fragments to the point they are afraid of me because I am not afraid to call them out on their bad behavior. I have made guys be afraid of me because of that. I'm basically the Mom friend/acquaintance that is notorious for giving very scathing lectures whenever I see any misbehavior. 😅
"More indecisive than a pendulum with anxiety" lmaoo how did you even come up with that 😂
This is true but when people tell me what to do I really hate it
INFPs I know with age become pretty capable and have more backbone than people think. Inferior Te is still Te.
I'm INTP and my younger brother (28) and my cousin (30) as well as a friend in his 30s are all secretly insecure but also have little problems voicing their real feelings.
On the other hand, I'm less sensitive to what most people think but I use Fe so I'm terrified of coming across the wrong way and will more likely not rock the boat.
And infp would never keep an elephant captive. “The animals I’ve trapped have all become my pets”-Kurt cobain
Struggling to saying NO is really my serious problem, I don't wanna become People Pleaser, I wanted to be like Ayanokouji