Im not infj. But door slam is right fr all mbti ppl all ppl. Once over its frevr, only talkng frm far n mixng in imergency times as known strangrs maintainng distance physclly mently life wise frevr , just outsde insde talkng mixng as norml human but nvr trustng nvr feelng attchmnts rathr hatred+fear+pain+alert conscious danger etc fr those ppl frevr n 100% poisonous venomous toys r those ppl. Stayng norml human talkng mixng norml way frevr wth those shits wth no attchmnts wth full of hatred fear alert conscious untrusted worst shitty creatures, no hurtng harmng but all ovr ftevr n door slam is this? Its done wth clasmates, frnds, othr ppl also by all ppl ? Whtevr but dirty horrble mentlty worst soul heart mentlty ppl deserve frm all ppl, so door slam is right n im more than door slam, i talk mix share wth all includng hated+fearful+painful+alert conscious always+nvr trustng+nvr soul heart mind connection no attchmnts evr types+worst shits also. N its nver acting, im this since littl n i dont act by this way evr, i nvr say im their frnd/i want them as frnd or comforting partnrs or im faithful loyal dedicated im into them they r fr me mine etc shits i nvr say. I just talk mix share wth all ppl whoevr it is, extrovert this way n more few ways since littl, n defntly i didnt hav any shit ppl since littl n im wth all ppl all things all evrythng possble i was into since littl. I use sense intuition feelngs thinkngs all togthr since littl, i dont know wht i m but im ambivert since littl im sure i know, im so extrvert but i need self n own world also at d same time since littl. I want so many ppl sounds open area roads vehicles city life root faith mentlty etc based no mattr how painful it is.. rathr im counting havng excuses wth more pain suffrngs wth illgl deeds wth wrong wth tortures wth contrllng ruinnng me myslf etc when im not into life naturally but controlled ruined changed tortured made me do against wish used ruined me etc removed me controlled me interfered did wrongs etc illgly planwse .. so i need n im excused opressed.. God counts n plan n take steps which is ok, Othr evil shit ppl count n plan n taje steps they enjoy frevr, i we also do count n ok aftr contrlld changed lost ruined planwse, which one is abnorml wrong here ?? Hmm? D more countng d more .. no contrllng no changng against no harmng hurtng no wrongs no using ruinng no interferng no dirty ness shit trx dirty deeds no pain suffrngs wrong deeds wth.. so countng is ok fr all creatures of earth n out of earth. Planwse wrongs happen slowly .. countng n steps also hapoen planwss slowly n suddenly evrythng. Just excuses truely wth countng frevr wth pain suffrngs n ok norml talkng mixng sharng wth all includng shits. Door slam is wht exctly ? Heart, soul, mentlty, mind, brain, body feelngs etc do door slam+frevr hatred+fear+alert conscious+cursing+counting wth those shits.
N how door slam is punshng somone ? U r punished,ruined,damged, deceived by, betrayed by, they was not full truthful full honst was liar fraud dishnst hypocrite was contrllg u or othrs was actors was dirty worst shits was killrs fr all or fr u, ruined othrs caused pain suffrngs dange to u or to othrs, horrble shits totally unlawful illgl criminl shits dirtiest evil creatures to u or to othrs, u were their item toys planwse,,, n its punishing them ?? Its their maden word to act dfrnt way dirtiest shits word.. no attchmnts by soul/heart/body/mentalty mind/frndships/responsible/loyal faithful dedicated/trustng/happinss/pleasureful/comfrtble/goodness expectng/no good feelngs evr/no relyng belvng trustng evr/...only mixng sharing talkng as known strngrs or as strngrs n norml frevr n counting+cursng+hating+justce seeking payments seeking+.. no mattr whrevr they/u r n if they nvr exst around u but thrir deeds results wth u frevr aftr death also n othr shits also around frevr aftr death also, so removng, changing, contrllng, interferng, planwse forced u to accpt things to b contrlld planwse by them slowly suddenly, ruined damaged snatched rights n life planwse slowly suddnly, made u forced u controlled u did wrongs to u illgly contrllng interferng planwse n u r/will b in dfrnt places, situations, changed planwse dfrnt ppl sights contrlld othr ppl along u in previous places done, then wth othr dfrnt ppl planwse so nomore n dfrnt excuses given, slavery wrapped pain suffrngs test struggles frevr aftr death also, coz all about planwse cutting d stem n waterng on tree upper branches leaves.. so beautfl n edible.. so counting frevr aftr death also.. n talkng mixng sharng norml wth all ppl till aftr life.
Counting evry painful minute wth contrlld+interfered+maden+illgl+rights snatchng+crimes sins tortures+interferng+decvng betrayng single lie single dishnsty single hypocrisy single actng+sibgle dirty ness single dirty deeds sigle dirty mentlty game trx wrongs single bad wish single evil deeds+planwse forcing slowly suddnly planwse damging planwse pain suffrngs planwse pathetc lives planwse wiping ur/othrs truth realty all damged ruined maden changed contrlld n forced n planwse slowly suddenly , so talkng mixng sharng wth no attchmnts n norml n slavery/controlled forcd ruined painful strugle till after life/after death.. wth all ppl everywhere till aftr life/aftr death. Not actng wth actors, hypocrites, liar, dishnst, frauds, decvrs, betrayrs, criminls, dirty shits, no trust no attchmnts no feelngs physclly mentlly life based, just human figurd creatures.
A lot of these are defense mechanisms that we INFJs have had to implement in order to survive in a world that misunderstands us the majority of the time. We are good at these defense mechanisms because we are so observant. Sad to say, I have displayed many of these throughout my life, but now that I am in my mid-50s, I am no longer so defensive and don't need to rely on any of these. Especially the first one. I no longer bottle up my emotions and explode.
Manipulating can be used for many good things. Manipulation in general is not a bad thing, many people need guidance and manipulation is the way of providing this guidance in an understandable language. Remember that, INFJs intentions are almost always good. Except when they want to punish someone for lies, disgusting motives and etc..
And sometimes you have to choose between 2 bad ways. Weigh what could happen in the worst cases and take the less harmful way for greater good. for all people around.
Fairly thin line to walk. However, I agree. I feel like manipulation can be used as a tool to help others grow. I’ve always felt that way. Nice to hear someone else on a similar train of thought because I always felt guilty about this particular belief.
I "manipulate" too. I have a coworker who was in an abusive relationship and her self esteem isn't great. To help her with that, every chance I get I say something uplifting to her.
Eeh, the word is usually used in more stricter sense though. It doesn't usually refer to any attempt at changing things. That's not how psychological terms work. As it's usually understood, in CONTEXT, it's toxic, destructive and shameful.
I continue to be absolutely ASTONISHED by how accurate these vids are. It's like a complete stranger just walking to your mind and perusing like one does at a Library. I honestly never believed in this "science" or discipline nor things like astrology. But I can't deny the accuracy of these profiles. It's like they KNOW me
Yes. Same here. But One thing... If a person has been mean to me once, I'll never give him a second chance. They can ask... Why are you so quiet? No.... I am Just in my quiet mode.
Dont piss us off, and you’ll be good.😂 We do bottle it up, but the issue is usually at least mentioned. Usually only manipulate after being manipulated. A lot clears up as you mature too. I can only speak for myself though.
Yes. J types are known to hold grudges. What did we ever do to you? Besides be nice. Everyone has to be mean for no reason. And they never see through the lies of society's baloney sandwich. Very true.
@@PsychologyRefresh There is a saying in the coaching world: “A good coach can get his/her players to run thru a brick wall for them.” This is the ability to convince a player that the preparation, strategy, and training they have is unique to them/the squad. A coach needs to establish a group mindset focused on ultimate team goals. Over a short period of time, coaches can “adjust” the priorities for players. (More focus on team goals over individual ones, habits off the field, diet, etc.)
That's what I was thinking. Basically bringing out the best in people. This works really well in a team when people are either lost or fighting. You just steer them in the right direction by making them think they came up with it themselves or that it would benefit them the most. We're good at reading peoples minds and figuring out their psychology. You need to be some type of psychopath to use this for evil things. Unless they have done you wrong, then they can p*ss right off. haha *Doorslam*
Many years ago before I knew I was an INFJ or even heard of the MBTI, I did the "door slam" on someone who wouldn't hear me. Wouldn't allow me to speak to clear my name. So I told him to always stay mad at me even when he learns the truth because he didn't want to listen to me in that moment I told him he doesn't exist to me anymore. YEARS later he tried to apologize and I told him if that immature person he was in the past is the person he IS then he never should have been my friend in the first place. Told him he made his call. And I said what I said about him not existing to me still holds. I don't hate him, but I don't need him in my life.
Been there. Particularly accusing me of lying without proof, and without even clarifying the position, will cause me to do it. And I stand by it, dont see it as a weakness at all. I am literally permanently no-contact with my entire family for years now. Including anyone they are in contact with. B/c they slander, using lies and shift blame 180°, to the point where I would literally seem more guilty if I tried to explain my side. Some of the good people I will never again see include two brothers. They are innocent, but have been manipulated. Not really complaining, might seem that way, but I feel better than ever. Not at peace, but it now feels like a possibility at least.
Dude the manipulative part is the exciting and terrifying part for me, like dude its fun but it's feels wrong so i only use it if necessary and in a goodway . It feels like playing a chess but the people around you is the chess piece
Rather than chess i think its better compared to a play because rather than playing vs an opponent its more on you being the director while you try to lead the actors(people) to do what you want.
For the first point tho, we INFJs are usually perfectionists. This is why we tend to hold back our criticisms towards other people becuz we know they might not be as strict towards themselves as we do.
I always tell around my friends to do this and that with yourself to get better. But they are like *Man we're just too young, lets enjoy our life for now*. It personally pisses me off, so i also thought not to advice people cuz not everyone take things so seriously as us
@@B-SharpBenchmarks funny you say that, that’s what all my friends said to me growing up, I’m always too deep to be myself around anyone. It’s becoming exhausting to put on this mask everyday
@@willtoler6917 Ah same. I felt like that at first but then I found out its just our own ego which makes us feel that we need to be around people with same level of open mindedness or knowledge. The more I talked with everyone the more I realized everyone have their own trait. And I am not frustrated anymore. Yes its true that sometimes I wanna talk deep and there's no one to talk at that level , but that's ok too. Just find someone way older than you and you will be able to talk about everything. I met a saint in my home village, I talked about many things with him. People in the village call that saint mad , but to me he was very attractive , assertive , bold and stubborn .
Jordan Peterson said that you have to be a monster, capable to inflict pain to others ( paraphrasing here) so they will know not to cross the line or there will be a hell to pay. So, having these dark sides are not totally bad in my opinion so I embrace them as part of me.
people think im heartless because i can forget everything i had with someone and remove them from my life! but i guess infjs become this way AFTER giving many chances to the point where its like we get to a point where we want peace and 0 problmes even if it means cutting off loved ones!
Only problem is we aren't always clear that our person has had strikes, sometimes we need to have better communication and door slamming happens much less often. -infj
These habits are accurate, but I'm aware I've done them and I'm not scared of being honest about them to my friends and family. If anything I'd like them to know how I think and act and that includes most of these bad traits. I'm especially aware of my unconscious use of manipulation and I deal with it by not involving those around me in my problems.
The way I deal with the last one, is that I never ever ever bring up a People weaknesses and mistakes. I’m not saying I’ve never done it, maybe once or twice and it was bad, but never to its full capacity. Because I know it could actually destroy someone.
1. I don't want to seem like I'm being mean, so I compromise and let others do as they please; however if they're doing something that really bothers me I'm going to speak up. Even still people will ask me why I'm just staring at them or not participating and I will tell them exactly why. And you know what they do? They keep doing it because my feelings are insignificant compared to their own wants. 2. I've only done it once, and it really pained me to do it; I cried leading up to it and weeks after it because I didn't want to lose this friend that I'd known for 10 years. They were very unhealthy and would always ask for my advice, never do as I suggested, would then dump their feelings on me and then blame me for their life issues. I said several times it wasn't ok and he never listened. It really irritates me to see that this is a sign of an INFJ because literally everyone cuts toxic people out of their life. In fact someone who wasn't an INFJ doorslammed me simply because we didn't have the same religion; she was an ISTP and her reason was based on her misconceptions, she didn't even bother to do any research, just something she saw on TV made an impression on her. She just decided to never speak to me again without clearing up anything, and we had such a kinship; we literally talked everyday about everything. That kind of behavior is why I find it hard to open up to people. And again, going back to the first point, do you know how many people thought they could take advantage of me just because I was too nice? Too many, and that's why I started keeping to myself. 3. That's more of a sign of an ENFJ. Dominant extraverted feeling cannot be shut off in ENFJs; they don't even know they're doing it and because of auxiliary introverted intuition, they really believe that they know the best path for you and will try to guide you according to their vision. An INFJ will suggest something to you, even if it is triggering, and may even try to help you with it but ultimately what you do with that information is on you. I also want to say that manipulation isn't something exclusive to Fe because I've seen people say that. Fe is more like persuasion which can be good. Te can be very manipulative too, it's just more direct, and again can be used for good. I'm more than aware that I could manipulate, but it's terrifying and thinking about it also makes me feeled ashamed. 4. This shouldn't even be a dark trait because INFJs tend to be too compromising. I find that people only get annoyed by this because I'm not letting them push me around anymore. Why is it a problem when I make up my mind about something, when I typically let others get what they want most of the time? INFJs got to have some amount of self-respect. 5. Only when it comes to being around other people. I don't want others seeing me mess up and I also don't want to bother anyone else by seeming incompetent. INFJs use Fe to guide others so feel as if the appropriate way to act is to already have stuff figured out, and because of tertiary Ti are typically overanalyzing things and trying to plan everything in their head before even attempting anything. 6. I feel threatened by Te-doms because they're too direct, uncompromising, and think they know the most efficient way to do something without having attempted it themselves. My district manager is one and every time she pays a visit, she says some of the most inhumane things that leads me to believe she's never even worked in the position she is trying to coach; she doesn't even talk to us like we're people, she's only concerned about how to eliminate steps so she won't have to pay as much money. IxTJs are lovely and I have not had a problem with them because if you call them out on something legit, they will take a step back and at least hear you out. 7. This is true. I won't forget bad impressions or details; however I don't get angry that often and rather than use it against someone literally, I'm more likely to just keep it as a reason to remain emotionally distant. The most I really pester people about are their terrible eating habits and lack of exercise; I get on myself about it too and am aware that sometimes I avoid self-care and find it annoying to make into a routine. I really don't know my own physical limitations and have actually collapsed from overexercising or overworking because I don't feel the pain until I've gone past my limit.
Yes I recognized these traits. I have been there in the shadow. Just to protect myself. I felt I was pushed to know my evil side. I bottled up emotions en exploded, door slam, called out there failures, rusthlessness, defensive, smashed the bias with worse bias. That how I dealt with my narc ex. I felt like throwing back everything they threw at me but then with force and harder comeback. I didn’t care how painful it was knowing it’s painful. But I couldn’t be nice anymore at time. Now that I am more self-aware. I still recognizes those traits that I could be when my vibrational frequency is low. So I learned to trust my Ni and Fe more and more plus Ti this is more powerful. I know my Se but I never use that to manipulate anyone or situation. It has become my tool to strengthen my Ni and Fe, and balance that out with Ti. I know soon enough when to remove myself from a energetic field that disturb my peace. Without harming anyone / or their egos. But use it to cheer people I care up and make them laugh. I let them do them, be them. No tendencies to fix people no more. It’s so clear to me why INFJ are often misunderstood, that’s when we are not in our power and go deeper in our shadow. So shadow work is recommended for my fellow INFJ. Don’t waste your energie on outside world that doesn’t serve you any good. And disturb your peace of mind. Just walk away and let them. Seal your energy and be in solitude. Be kind to yourself and others. But don’t take any bias.
I'm INFJ and agreed on many things except manipulative and disrespectful towards someone's opinion personaly. I do read people and connect dots to find someone's strength and weakness but never used it to manipulate someone but to show empathy to them. but yeah I take some of advantages from only those who keeps me close to their hearts and show their vulnerability towards me. 😄
I was going to comment this, and I saw your comment. This is exactly me, it’s true that we can discern a lot more than the average person, and we could use it to our advantage, but I’ve never had that thought pop into my mind at all. however, I hate being manipulated myself and it really triggers me without fail so maybe that’s as far as I’ve gone in being aware of this manipulative tray. I don’t know.
The manipulative thing though, I'm aware that I can be manipulative and I only used this trait of mine once. That's when I found out that my dear friend's bf cheated on her and I manipulated someone who is chatty into ruining that guys reputation and attacked him psychologically and emotionally, remember I only did ONE thing and that's to chit chat with someone who likes to talk.
It is not true that INFJs do not compromise. I have studied this personality type for more than 8 years both theoretically and practically. This is not true. I disagree. These people can even sacrifice their lives for the well-being of others.
I wouldn’t call it manipulative it’s more like we coach what we can’t explain as we constantly know better but can’t say why accurately so we express ourselves verbally until a Narcissist shut us out with the majority wheeling behind the narcissist leader
i felt that door slam part very much. My fundamental about living with people around me is build on respect. I always want to treat everyone with respect but in return I expect them to do the same in return. A couple months ago at this point still a very good friend, suddenly out of nowhere startet to treat me like sh*t. Blamed me for all her problems. She literally treated me like a doormat. Even though I liked her as a friend and all my intentions were to make her a better version of herself. I shut the door. Had a last conversation with her, how about I felt that she treated me like garbage. Even though we are in the same grade, afterwards its not the same anymore. I only talk to her if i need to but . Its just all the things you do to a person, like helping everytime the person needs help. Being always there for the person and just only wanting the best for them. And then getting backstabbed like hell just feels so unfair. But whats the point of leaving a door open to someone who treats u like trash.
I love how the self doubt comes after the uncompromising. You basically explained why uncompromising can come up in the first place. When we seek external validation for our ideas and thought processes and are met with alternatives or redirection, it came make us defensive BECAUSE it brings up self doubt.
I’m not sure if I struggle with all of these per-se, though I can certainly see myself in dark times managing to get to these points. The ‘INFJ Door Slam’ thing was totally new to me, and for that one I did go, ‘Holy heck I do actually do that!’ The fact that that is a thing is so bizarre to me.
I think slamming the door is a natural and healthy response to people who have crossed certain boundaries. We all need to set boundaries and maintain boundaries for our own mental and physical health.
man the door slam and stubbornness really relates and something that i dont want to admit. when i was younger, i never knew the door slam was a common trait, i thought i was just being immature and rude. but it naturally happens and it's just the way i filter people
My dark side is something that comes out when I get so angry not at one person but over a series of events and then there's a last straw and I get mad at one person because of a series of things that happened. But when I get to that point it's only happened a couple of times I literally black out. And I do things that I did not know I was capable of doing and I don't remember doing it and that terrifies me. The fact that I don't remember doing it means that I don't have control of it which is why I'm terrified of it..... It's not like someone else is taking over my body and doing whatever they want.... It is exactly that someone is taking over my body and doing whatever they want....That is exactly what is happening.... Someone else is using my limbs and body and my brain and performing actions that I'm not even capable of doing. How incredibly freakish is that!!!! I mean WTF!!!!!! HOW IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE!!!!! GOD HELP ME!!!! Granted the things I did do we're not something that I regretted doing. Even though they were things that I did not think I was physically capable of doing they were things that more or less needed to be done so going into that state was like something I had to do to get to that point where I would be capable of performing those actions. Yes the bottom line is that it was a necessary evil but the fact that it was something that I would not normally do scares me.
I've done all of them, I still do, but videos like this make me be more aware of my actions and understand more about me and be a better version of myself, thanks!
Yeah. 1. Explode. 2. Ghost them. 3. Be a bad guy to manipulate due to irritation 4. Stubborn on idea or explanations 5. imitate people . 6. Fighting back in some wrong ways 7. 2nd level defensive due to past experience Helpful in the sense I need to manage it, just like how to manage anger. Sigh...
Haha I feel like I have been stripped naked! this is so me, I bottle up, I slam the door and shut people out, I am uncompromising, I have extreme self doubt, I am defensive, and I am Ruthless, the only thing I don’t do in this list is being manipulative, I wouldn’t even dare.
For INFJ manipulation is in their blood it's just that they never got caught, because they don't admire this nature, what they admire most is perfection, when you will start slamming lots of door you will see how manipulative you will become.
I am SOOOOO guilty of the door slam holy fffffff. It usually feels so good, but I’ve had those who have been slammed on confront me and that’s where I short circuit
I absolutely HATE the fact that even I have been manipulative in the past, so much it makes me cringe because I've learned to just be straightforward, friendly or not. I'm greatly against it because it's against authenticity and it stills falls under harming people's trust. That said, when narcissistic people or bullies are causing harm towards either me or someone else with no remorse, then I can be tempted to pull out the box of mental tricks to punish them as fit. It's getting back with sophisticated vengeance. So, as much as I hate to do it, I only become a trickster in order to gain peace or justice. I do take my own wrongdoings as a man when I know I've done wrong and improve myself. Self-awareness, honesty, as well as letting go of how things should go and how people "should" react according _your_ expectations, are keys to dropping manipulative tendencies.
lmao i didnt know there was a term for me ignoring my stepdads existence for months. what was really hard is that he seemed about the same mbti, just extroverted. we pretty much hated eachother for being horrifyingly alike and seeing owns dark qualities in another. the whole thing was really weird bc he was almost thirty and i was like nine or something. not very even lmao
The “door slams” is legit, i attended few colleges and met new peoples and friends but after that i just shut them down totally, they even tried to track me down or trying to in contact with me but i just dont give a damn response, the worse door slam i ever done was towards 2 of my best buddies.
I have been watching videos about mbti for awhile now, i finally undestand myself better now, i experience all these dark side even b4 knowing my mbti, specially the first 3, i remember when i was just a child, i realize one time that i can just manipulate my relatives because they always believe me, and that scares me, they say i am the 'smart' one, how can i go wrong, and my intuition is always spot on, and they cant lie when i am around, my cousin once told me they thought i am a mind reader, specially when i am staring at them, and the bottling up and door slam, i once did that to a distant cousin, who's much older than me, up until now, i still pretends she did not exists, she experienced my eruption, and still afraid of approaching me, i am not proud of that, but cant help it, 😐😐
Thanks for the video. You've done a great job. I'm an INTJ, but unlike other INTJs, I'm sensitive and also care about other people's emotions. I can also read people, and I also have strong personal values and ethics; maybe I have a developed FI. One of my co-founders is an INFJ, and the problem is that he is not ready to do hard work, take risks, learn new skills, or improve himself. He wants to get everything in his hands without doing any hard work. I didn't become direct for one year because I didn't want to hurt him, but after wasting 2022, I didn't want to waste 2023 any more. Here's the thing: He's in his 2nd year of college, and I'm a college dropout who took the risk to do something big, so from late 2022 on, I started becoming a bit more direct about his mistakes in a soft way, but he took it in a personal way, and at one point he exploded his emotions at me, but I didn't take it seriously. Now he is trying his best to manipulate me, betraying me, and lying to me. And one time, when I caught him lying about a work project and a client that was really important, I dug deep into his lies, and then, at the end, he himself admitted he was trying to betray me. But what surprises me is that he still wants to be my friend, as he thinks I'm one of his best friends. I too felt the same way back then, but now I can't be friends with someone I can't trust who will lie and try to manipulate every situation.
A Sigma/Assertive Infj Will Have a better control over these things ,Taking my own self As a Example I do Have a Better Control over these things now because i control my dark side now not the other way around . It also depends on how much experience you have with other people in social situations And with your own Dark side Over the Period of Time .
I'm an INFJ and this year I also slammed the door. Perhaps for the first time in my life. It was ESTJ and she absolutely did not listen to me, did not understand and continued to do what I asked her to stop. A person constantly broke into my life and wanted to spit on the fact that I am not able to speak or do something at the moment. She absolutely did not understand me even after several years of our friendship, did not understand and did not accept my principles. And this year I realized that I can no longer communicate with her, to continue is to slowly kill myself. At first I tried to keep communication to a minimum, but the person started asking why I didn't communicate with her, and I said straight out. She absolutely did not hear and did not listen to me. I surprised all my friends with this, few people expected that my patience could also run out. But after what happened, I have never regretted what I did.
As an infj, I dont agree with being manipulative, even though we can clearly see some manipulative ways to acheive something, we dont take that route cuz manipulating others is almost like hurting others and being selfish.but if someone has done manipulation to an infj in the first place then its a completely different story...
@#6 in my expierance it's when the INFJ dishes out to much truth they are refered to as defensive, when others do this it is refered to as standing up for one self😂😂😂🤷♀️
Oh gosh this so accurate. I did use manipulation before, as I needed tasks to be done at work., but I’m trying not to.. as I feel that this is very wrong.
All of them. Looks like I have a lot of work to do. I thought I was going crazy I did a myers briggs test and found out its just My personality type. I need to find a balance between the light and dark sides. I have used manipulation on people who I thought deserved it. Like hypocritical managers at work. I have gathered Information that could harm them and when they have tried to throw me or a colleague under the bus I told them to behave or they would be under there with us. I've slammed the door on someone 8 months ago and feel much better for it. That is scarily accurate
@@PsychologyRefresh its just part of me. Even the moon got dark and bright side. Nothing unusual. The darker it is the more fun and entertaining isn't it.
I used manipulation on certain management that didn't conform to my personal values of the right and wrong way to deal with people and helped them to bring themselves down
Manipulation is not only for bad or hurting people it also has good intentions. Don't focus always on bad side try to manipulate a person for good purpose. Like for example: I manipulate my friend to bring his food, that person don't really like to eat lunch and I suggest him to bring me a food he always eat in their house, because I want to eat them. But all in all, I don't really eat it, I just use myself as an excuse, so that he can eat too. See I use manipulation in a good way that's it! ~sorry if my grammar is bad.
I would have liked the 'manipulative' one to be a bit more specific. I think I sometimes use it in self defence, if I have been worn down enough. But it has to go pretty far before I do it, as I can't really do it to people I care about. I will admit, if someone is being severely cruel to me for years, intentionally. Then I do get a sadistic fulfilment from 'manipulating'/confusing them. But again, this is very extreme cases. I do think I 'manipulated' adults when I was a child, to make them think I was more mature and responsible than I actually was, to get more freedom to be by myself. Not sure if this counts or not. In general, I HATE manipulation, and I prefer to only use it for the most extreme cases, where all else fails.
When I was younger, I used to think that all "bad" people should die. That is why KIRA from Death Note really appealed to me. I used to think that way.
I can totally relate to all of the above mentioned topics. I feel 😪 sad when, I have been pushed, 😞 to a point, with no option but to door slam. I'm filled with a mixture grief and relief 😌 from losing the a contact that I have enjoyed but it has run its cause. I'm do tend to bottle up anxiety and depression so eventually something has to give way 🙂
about flipping into extroverted thinking it's totally agreeable... 95% of time i avoid voilance & fighting but when i am cornored and people start to think m a weak and starts to bully me, i get fliped and my body legit burst with soo much adrenaline & mental energy that my body legit sarts to vibrate and i totally lose a sense of holding back... when i am in that state, i don't give a fk who the enemy infront me is.. professional assassin, tiger, lion, snak, godzilla, demon or alien... I will legit crush it down until they lose thier existance. That's the darkside of me and i am scared of myself more then i am scared of other situations.
@#1...we are not intentionally bottling it up. We give people the benefit of the doubt that they will grow and adjust. You know, start acting like adults at some point. So when that doesn't happen, they get the truth handed to them, and the truths not always pretty. Most of the time The INFJ has spoken on the issue however people only understand toxic or negative communication so their words fall on deaf ears.
Awesome job. I wonder how different we infjs are from the other 7 empath types. You know a lot about us especially our demonic side.😂😅😂😂😂. Excellent video.
Bro are you spying on me 😂 it's damn accurate each and every line specially bottling up emotions. That's something happens to me all the time my friends know that I don't get angry very often but If I am I bad mood it's best to not mess with me One time my best friend was teasing me and I was in bad mood he still remember that day as a lesson he never ever dared to tease me again 😂
Just relax, take it one day at a time my INFJ's. Remember we are like Itachi Uchiha or Sosuke Aizen. We are like a substitution of god, when he wants to go on vacation, he picks one of us to take over temporarily till he gets back. Like bingo, and he spins the balls and one of us INFJ's is picked. Oh the pain and horror of such a responsibility. Sigh....but on the plus side. We might be the most pure people of heart. Wooo hoooo.
@@PsychologyRefresh But of course. Only a INFJ can understand there purpose on earth. We are neither wanted in heaven, because god does not want the competition or hell, because that would be too cruel and we would never leave the devil alone. And aliens do not want to abduct us. Because we are to complicated. So I'm going on a idea that a INFJ Heaven is a pocket Dimension heaven just for us. separate from the actual heaven. And yes. No INFJ wants to be in reincarnated. I know I do not want too be. PS. INFJ's are on this earth to be among everyone. Like it or not. How else can we understand the sorrow of the people unless we walk among them.
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10 Strengths Of An INFJ Personality Type
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Infj i am but looser 😆
Bro called me a Demon like 5 different times, chill fam, its hard out here for INFJs😭😭😂
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I'm saying fam 🤧😭
a family I worked for in the past thought I was possessed by demons👽… tf lol
@@thatsprophet Can you elaborate?
bro bls😭🖤
the "door slam" is not to punish anyone, I think it is more of a way to avoid further hurt.
Well said!
Im not infj. But door slam is right fr all mbti ppl all ppl. Once over its frevr, only talkng frm far n mixng in imergency times as known strangrs maintainng distance physclly mently life wise frevr , just outsde insde talkng mixng as norml human but nvr trustng nvr feelng attchmnts rathr hatred+fear+pain+alert conscious danger etc fr those ppl frevr n 100% poisonous venomous toys r those ppl. Stayng norml human talkng mixng norml way frevr wth those shits wth no attchmnts wth full of hatred fear alert conscious untrusted worst shitty creatures, no hurtng harmng but all ovr ftevr n door slam is this? Its done wth clasmates, frnds, othr ppl also by all ppl ? Whtevr but dirty horrble mentlty worst soul heart mentlty ppl deserve frm all ppl, so door slam is right n im more than door slam, i talk mix share wth all includng hated+fearful+painful+alert conscious always+nvr trustng+nvr soul heart mind connection no attchmnts evr types+worst shits also. N its nver acting, im this since littl n i dont act by this way evr, i nvr say im their frnd/i want them as frnd or comforting partnrs or im faithful loyal dedicated im into them they r fr me mine etc shits i nvr say. I just talk mix share wth all ppl whoevr it is, extrovert this way n more few ways since littl, n defntly i didnt hav any shit ppl since littl n im wth all ppl all things all evrythng possble i was into since littl. I use sense intuition feelngs thinkngs all togthr since littl, i dont know wht i m but im ambivert since littl im sure i know, im so extrvert but i need self n own world also at d same time since littl. I want so many ppl sounds open area roads vehicles city life root faith mentlty etc based no mattr how painful it is.. rathr im counting havng excuses wth more pain suffrngs wth illgl deeds wth wrong wth tortures wth contrllng ruinnng me myslf etc when im not into life naturally but controlled ruined changed tortured made me do against wish used ruined me etc removed me controlled me interfered did wrongs etc illgly planwse .. so i need n im excused opressed.. God counts n plan n take steps which is ok, Othr evil shit ppl count n plan n taje steps they enjoy frevr, i we also do count n ok aftr contrlld changed lost ruined planwse, which one is abnorml wrong here ?? Hmm? D more countng d more .. no contrllng no changng against no harmng hurtng no wrongs no using ruinng no interferng no dirty ness shit trx dirty deeds no pain suffrngs wrong deeds wth.. so countng is ok fr all creatures of earth n out of earth. Planwse wrongs happen slowly .. countng n steps also hapoen planwss slowly n suddenly evrythng. Just excuses truely wth countng frevr wth pain suffrngs n ok norml talkng mixng sharng wth all includng shits. Door slam is wht exctly ? Heart, soul, mentlty, mind, brain, body feelngs etc do door slam+frevr hatred+fear+alert conscious+cursing+counting wth those shits.
N how door slam is punshng somone ? U r punished,ruined,damged, deceived by, betrayed by, they was not full truthful full honst was liar fraud dishnst hypocrite was contrllg u or othrs was actors was dirty worst shits was killrs fr all or fr u, ruined othrs caused pain suffrngs dange to u or to othrs, horrble shits totally unlawful illgl criminl shits dirtiest evil creatures to u or to othrs, u were their item toys planwse,,, n its punishing them ?? Its their maden word to act dfrnt way dirtiest shits word.. no attchmnts by soul/heart/body/mentalty mind/frndships/responsible/loyal faithful dedicated/trustng/happinss/pleasureful/comfrtble/goodness expectng/no good feelngs evr/no relyng belvng trustng evr/...only mixng sharing talkng as known strngrs or as strngrs n norml frevr n counting+cursng+hating+justce seeking payments seeking+.. no mattr whrevr they/u r n if they nvr exst around u but thrir deeds results wth u frevr aftr death also n othr shits also around frevr aftr death also, so removng, changing, contrllng, interferng, planwse forced u to accpt things to b contrlld planwse by them slowly suddenly, ruined damaged snatched rights n life planwse slowly suddnly, made u forced u controlled u did wrongs to u illgly contrllng interferng planwse n u r/will b in dfrnt places, situations, changed planwse dfrnt ppl sights contrlld othr ppl along u in previous places done, then wth othr dfrnt ppl planwse so nomore n dfrnt excuses given, slavery wrapped pain suffrngs test struggles frevr aftr death also, coz all about planwse cutting d stem n waterng on tree upper branches leaves.. so beautfl n edible.. so counting frevr aftr death also.. n talkng mixng sharng norml wth all ppl till aftr life.
Counting evry painful minute wth contrlld+interfered+maden+illgl+rights snatchng+crimes sins tortures+interferng+decvng betrayng single lie single dishnsty single hypocrisy single actng+sibgle dirty ness single dirty deeds sigle dirty mentlty game trx wrongs single bad wish single evil deeds+planwse forcing slowly suddnly planwse damging planwse pain suffrngs planwse pathetc lives planwse wiping ur/othrs truth realty all damged ruined maden changed contrlld n forced n planwse slowly suddenly , so talkng mixng sharng wth no attchmnts n norml n slavery/controlled forcd ruined painful strugle till after life/after death.. wth all ppl everywhere till aftr life/aftr death. Not actng wth actors, hypocrites, liar, dishnst, frauds, decvrs, betrayrs, criminls, dirty shits, no trust no attchmnts no feelngs physclly mentlly life based, just human figurd creatures.
Door slam+counting+payments till aftr life/aftr death.. whrevr u r wth who till aftr life/aftr death
A lot of these are defense mechanisms that we INFJs have had to implement in order to survive in a world that misunderstands us the majority of the time. We are good at these defense mechanisms because we are so observant. Sad to say, I have displayed many of these throughout my life, but now that I am in my mid-50s, I am no longer so defensive and don't need to rely on any of these. Especially the first one. I no longer bottle up my emotions and explode.
Thank you for this comment!
Manipulating can be used for many good things. Manipulation in general is not a bad thing, many people need guidance and manipulation is the way of providing this guidance in an understandable language.
Remember that, INFJs intentions are almost always good. Except when they want to punish someone for lies, disgusting motives and etc..
Interesting point!
And sometimes you have to choose between 2 bad ways. Weigh what could happen in the worst cases and take the less harmful way for greater good. for all people around.
Fairly thin line to walk. However, I agree. I feel like manipulation can be used as a tool to help others grow. I’ve always felt that way. Nice to hear someone else on a similar train of thought because I always felt guilty about this particular belief.
I "manipulate" too. I have a coworker who was in an abusive relationship and her self esteem isn't great. To help her with that, every chance I get I say something uplifting to her.
Eeh, the word is usually used in more stricter sense though. It doesn't usually refer to any attempt at changing things. That's not how psychological terms work. As it's usually understood, in CONTEXT, it's toxic, destructive and shameful.
I don’t slam doors or manipulate. I just disappear (after planning quietly.)
Interesting!
Maybe this is AI learning about humans, don't give them anymore information.
I continue to be absolutely ASTONISHED by how accurate these vids are. It's like a complete stranger just walking to your mind and perusing like one does at a Library. I honestly never believed in this "science" or discipline nor things like astrology. But I can't deny the accuracy of these profiles. It's like they KNOW me
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Yes. Same here. But One thing... If a person has been mean to me once, I'll never give him a second chance. They can ask... Why are you so quiet? No.... I am Just in my quiet mode.
@@LR-yu3mx Thank you for this insight!
Exactly as an infj myself I'm in shock on how accurate this is
@@LR-yu3mx Yes. We know we can't trust them again. I once watched a video stating that; "J types are known to hold grudges".
Dont piss us off, and you’ll be good.😂 We do bottle it up, but the issue is usually at least mentioned. Usually only manipulate after being manipulated. A lot clears up as you mature too. I can only speak for myself though.
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Yes. J types are known to hold grudges. What did we ever do to you? Besides be nice. Everyone has to be mean for no reason. And they never see through the lies of society's baloney sandwich.
Very true.
Agreed (I’m an INFJ)
Heart and like appreciated PR! God bless and have a nice day! =)
The manipulation trait can be used for good too. I find myself using it in coaching sports.
How do you use it?
@@PsychologyRefresh There is a saying in the coaching world: “A good coach can get his/her players to run thru a brick wall for them.” This is the ability to convince a player that the preparation, strategy, and training they have is unique to them/the squad. A coach needs to establish a group mindset focused on ultimate team goals. Over a short period of time, coaches can “adjust” the priorities for players. (More focus on team goals over individual ones, habits off the field, diet, etc.)
@@bladeguru6358 Thanks for sharing!
That's what I was thinking. Basically bringing out the best in people. This works really well in a team when people are either lost or fighting. You just steer them in the right direction by making them think they came up with it themselves or that it would benefit them the most. We're good at reading peoples minds and figuring out their psychology. You need to be some type of psychopath to use this for evil things. Unless they have done you wrong, then they can p*ss right off. haha *Doorslam*
@@MrHankeyy yep.
Many years ago before I knew I was an INFJ or even heard of the MBTI, I did the "door slam" on someone who wouldn't hear me. Wouldn't allow me to speak to clear my name. So I told him to always stay mad at me even when he learns the truth because he didn't want to listen to me in that moment I told him he doesn't exist to me anymore. YEARS later he tried to apologize and I told him if that immature person he was in the past is the person he IS then he never should have been my friend in the first place. Told him he made his call. And I said what I said about him not existing to me still holds. I don't hate him, but I don't need him in my life.
Thank you so much for sharing this!
Been there. Particularly accusing me of lying without proof, and without even clarifying the position, will cause me to do it. And I stand by it, dont see it as a weakness at all. I am literally permanently no-contact with my entire family for years now. Including anyone they are in contact with. B/c they slander, using lies and shift blame 180°, to the point where I would literally seem more guilty if I tried to explain my side. Some of the good people I will never again see include two brothers. They are innocent, but have been manipulated. Not really complaining, might seem that way, but I feel better than ever. Not at peace, but it now feels like a possibility at least.
Dude the manipulative part is the exciting and terrifying part for me, like dude its fun but it's feels wrong so i only use it if necessary and in a goodway . It feels like playing a chess but the people around you is the chess piece
Gotcha dude!
I like how you share the manipulative part as like playing chess! It's just so true.
@@zowk52 Do you do that in the real life?
Rather than chess i think its better compared to a play because rather than playing vs an opponent its more on you being the director while you try to lead the actors(people) to do what you want.
@@creampuffkuru9878 Very interesting!
For the first point tho, we INFJs are usually perfectionists. This is why we tend to hold back our criticisms towards other people becuz we know they might not be as strict towards themselves as we do.
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I always tell around my friends to do this and that with yourself to get better. But they are like *Man we're just too young, lets enjoy our life for now*. It personally pisses me off, so i also thought not to advice people cuz not everyone take things so seriously as us
@@B-SharpBenchmarks funny you say that, that’s what all my friends said to me growing up, I’m always too deep to be myself around anyone. It’s becoming exhausting to put on this mask everyday
@@willtoler6917 Ah same. I felt like that at first but then I found out its just our own ego which makes us feel that we need to be around people with same level of open mindedness or knowledge. The more I talked with everyone the more I realized everyone have their own trait. And I am not frustrated anymore. Yes its true that sometimes I wanna talk deep and there's no one to talk at that level , but that's ok too. Just find someone way older than you and you will be able to talk about everything. I met a saint in my home village, I talked about many things with him. People in the village call that saint mad , but to me he was very attractive , assertive , bold and stubborn .
Jordan Peterson said that you have to be a monster, capable to inflict pain to others ( paraphrasing here) so they will know not to cross the line or there will be a hell to pay.
So, having these dark sides are not totally bad in my opinion so I embrace them as part of me.
Love it!!!
I always end up hating or disliking people in the end. Always. It happens after a long series of them doing me wrong.
Interesting!
Life is a circle not a square, so go with it, don't expect walls but turns, hills and valleys.
Interesting!
people think im heartless because i can forget everything i had with someone and remove them from my life! but i guess infjs become this way AFTER giving many chances to the point where its like we get to a point where we want peace and 0 problmes even if it means cutting off loved ones!
Thank you for bringing up your perspective!
💯 I totally feel you on that!
Only problem is we aren't always clear that our person has had strikes, sometimes we need to have better communication and door slamming happens much less often. -infj
These habits are accurate, but I'm aware I've done them and I'm not scared of being honest about them to my friends and family. If anything I'd like them to know how I think and act and that includes most of these bad traits. I'm especially aware of my unconscious use of manipulation and I deal with it by not involving those around me in my problems.
Thanks for sharing!
I don’t do the “door slam” thing. It’s more like a “thanos snap gone in existence” for me when pushed to the final edge.
It's funny that I relate to everything, especially the door slap... I stop to talk to people if I feel they don't want me in their life anymore
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I am an ENTJ and dating an INFJ. These are hella accurate and gives me the “Aha! Moment” everytime. This video is very enlightening 🙌🏻
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This is fueled by high empathy. An unforgivable assault against an INFJ will receive an extreme response, either by indifference or ruthlessness.
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I think I'm a broken INFJ. I never learned how to manipulate. I think it could come in handy.
Thanks for sharing!
The way I deal with the last one, is that I never ever ever bring up a People weaknesses and mistakes. I’m not saying I’ve never done it, maybe once or twice and it was bad, but never to its full capacity. Because I know it could actually destroy someone.
Thank you for bringing up your perspective!
1. I don't want to seem like I'm being mean, so I compromise and let others do as they please; however if they're doing something that really bothers me I'm going to speak up. Even still people will ask me why I'm just staring at them or not participating and I will tell them exactly why. And you know what they do? They keep doing it because my feelings are insignificant compared to their own wants.
2. I've only done it once, and it really pained me to do it; I cried leading up to it and weeks after it because I didn't want to lose this friend that I'd known for 10 years. They were very unhealthy and would always ask for my advice, never do as I suggested, would then dump their feelings on me and then blame me for their life issues. I said several times it wasn't ok and he never listened. It really irritates me to see that this is a sign of an INFJ because literally everyone cuts toxic people out of their life. In fact someone who wasn't an INFJ doorslammed me simply because we didn't have the same religion; she was an ISTP and her reason was based on her misconceptions, she didn't even bother to do any research, just something she saw on TV made an impression on her. She just decided to never speak to me again without clearing up anything, and we had such a kinship; we literally talked everyday about everything. That kind of behavior is why I find it hard to open up to people. And again, going back to the first point, do you know how many people thought they could take advantage of me just because I was too nice? Too many, and that's why I started keeping to myself.
3. That's more of a sign of an ENFJ. Dominant extraverted feeling cannot be shut off in ENFJs; they don't even know they're doing it and because of auxiliary introverted intuition, they really believe that they know the best path for you and will try to guide you according to their vision. An INFJ will suggest something to you, even if it is triggering, and may even try to help you with it but ultimately what you do with that information is on you. I also want to say that manipulation isn't something exclusive to Fe because I've seen people say that. Fe is more like persuasion which can be good. Te can be very manipulative too, it's just more direct, and again can be used for good. I'm more than aware that I could manipulate, but it's terrifying and thinking about it also makes me feeled ashamed.
4. This shouldn't even be a dark trait because INFJs tend to be too compromising. I find that people only get annoyed by this because I'm not letting them push me around anymore. Why is it a problem when I make up my mind about something, when I typically let others get what they want most of the time? INFJs got to have some amount of self-respect.
5. Only when it comes to being around other people. I don't want others seeing me mess up and I also don't want to bother anyone else by seeming incompetent. INFJs use Fe to guide others so feel as if the appropriate way to act is to already have stuff figured out, and because of tertiary Ti are typically overanalyzing things and trying to plan everything in their head before even attempting anything.
6. I feel threatened by Te-doms because they're too direct, uncompromising, and think they know the most efficient way to do something without having attempted it themselves. My district manager is one and every time she pays a visit, she says some of the most inhumane things that leads me to believe she's never even worked in the position she is trying to coach; she doesn't even talk to us like we're people, she's only concerned about how to eliminate steps so she won't have to pay as much money. IxTJs are lovely and I have not had a problem with them because if you call them out on something legit, they will take a step back and at least hear you out.
7. This is true. I won't forget bad impressions or details; however I don't get angry that often and rather than use it against someone literally, I'm more likely to just keep it as a reason to remain emotionally distant. The most I really pester people about are their terrible eating habits and lack of exercise; I get on myself about it too and am aware that sometimes I avoid self-care and find it annoying to make into a routine. I really don't know my own physical limitations and have actually collapsed from overexercising or overworking because I don't feel the pain until I've gone past my limit.
Thanks you so much for this insight!
Yes, ultimately it comes down to self respect and setting healthy boundaries with other people. Why open the door to more abuse?
Si.. a "disturbing trait" ? Sounds like a very powerful trait
Yes I recognized these traits.
I have been there in the shadow. Just to protect myself. I felt I was pushed to know my evil side. I bottled up emotions en exploded, door slam, called out there failures, rusthlessness, defensive, smashed the bias with worse bias. That how I dealt with my narc ex. I felt like throwing back everything they threw at me but then with force and harder comeback. I didn’t care how painful it was knowing it’s painful. But I couldn’t be nice anymore at time.
Now that I am more self-aware. I still recognizes those traits that I could be when my vibrational frequency is low. So I learned to trust my Ni and Fe more and more plus Ti this is more powerful. I know my Se but I never use that to manipulate anyone or situation. It has become my tool to strengthen my Ni and Fe, and balance that out with Ti. I know soon enough when to remove myself from a energetic field that disturb my peace. Without harming anyone / or their egos. But use it to cheer people I care up and make them laugh. I let them do them, be them. No tendencies to fix people no more.
It’s so clear to me why INFJ are often misunderstood, that’s when we are not in our power and go deeper in our shadow. So shadow work is recommended for my fellow INFJ. Don’t waste your energie on outside world that doesn’t serve you any good. And disturb your peace of mind. Just walk away and let them. Seal your energy and be in solitude. Be kind to yourself and others. But don’t take any bias.
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Best advice I've heard thus far.....I'm in the mix for sure.
I'm INFJ and agreed on many things except manipulative and disrespectful towards someone's opinion personaly. I do read people and connect dots to find someone's strength and weakness but never used it to manipulate someone but to show empathy to them. but yeah I take some of advantages from only those who keeps me close to their hearts and show their vulnerability towards me. 😄
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Exactly what I was thinking, I’d never hurt or use something against someone regardless of situation.
I was going to comment this, and I saw your comment. This is exactly me, it’s true that we can discern a lot more than the average person, and we could use it to our advantage, but I’ve never had that thought pop into my mind at all. however, I hate being manipulated myself and it really triggers me without fail so maybe that’s as far as I’ve gone in being aware of this
manipulative tray. I don’t know.
@@Thearrowstrikes that's true. I hate manipulative behaviour. Even if it's not for me but someone I'm close to. And it does trigger me a lot. 😄
Judging by the comments there's two types of INFJ's. Quite concerning considering that manipulation contradicts our better intentions
The manipulative thing though, I'm aware that I can be manipulative and I only used this trait of mine once. That's when I found out that my dear friend's bf cheated on her and I manipulated someone who is chatty into ruining that guys reputation and attacked him psychologically and emotionally, remember I only did ONE thing and that's to chit chat with someone who likes to talk.
It is not true that INFJs do not compromise. I have studied this personality type for more than 8 years both theoretically and practically. This is not true. I disagree. These people can even sacrifice their lives for the well-being of others.
Thank you for bringing up your perspective!
I wouldn’t call it manipulative it’s more like we coach what we can’t explain as we constantly know better but can’t say why accurately so we express ourselves verbally until a Narcissist shut us out with the majority wheeling behind the narcissist leader
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that manipulating part is scary but i just recognize that i was manipulating someone without even knowing that i was manipulating but in a goodway .
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my whole personality is the dark side of infj
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1. Bottling up emotions, then exploding
2. Door slam
3. Manipulation
4. Uncompromising
5. Self-doubt
6. Defensiveness
7. Ruthlessness
Thank you!
Being an INFJ myself, I can confirm this!
i felt that door slam part very much. My fundamental about living with people around me is build on respect. I always want to treat everyone with respect but in return I expect them to do the same in return. A couple months ago at this point still a very good friend, suddenly out of nowhere startet to treat me like sh*t. Blamed me for all her problems. She literally treated me like a doormat.
Even though I liked her as a friend and all my intentions were to make her a better version of herself.
I shut the door. Had a last conversation with her, how about I felt that she treated me like garbage. Even though we are in the same grade, afterwards its not the same anymore. I only talk to her if i need to but . Its just all the things you do to a person, like helping everytime the person needs help. Being always there for the person and just only wanting the best for them. And then getting backstabbed like hell just feels so unfair.
But whats the point of leaving a door open to someone who treats u like trash.
Thank you for bringing up your perspective!
I love how the self doubt comes after the uncompromising. You basically explained why uncompromising can come up in the first place.
When we seek external validation for our ideas and thought processes and are met with alternatives or redirection, it came make us defensive BECAUSE it brings up self doubt.
Thank you for bringing up your perspective!
the manipulative part scares and excites at the same time 🤣
Which one affects you more?
@Psychology Refresh brave of you to assume this infj t brain can decide that. 🥴
Don't poke us and you'll see the nicest people on earth.
Poke us and you'll face the most cruel people on earth.
Great quote!
I seriously could not imagine being intentionally cruel to anyone.
Sometimes it's necessary
I’m not sure if I struggle with all of these per-se, though I can certainly see myself in dark times managing to get to these points. The ‘INFJ Door Slam’ thing was totally new to me, and for that one I did go, ‘Holy heck I do actually do that!’ The fact that that is a thing is so bizarre to me.
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I think slamming the door is a natural and healthy response to people who have crossed certain boundaries. We all need to set boundaries and maintain boundaries for our own mental and physical health.
man the door slam and stubbornness really relates and something that i dont want to admit. when i was younger, i never knew the door slam was a common trait, i thought i was just being immature and rude. but it naturally happens and it's just the way i filter people
Thank you for bringing up your perspective!
My dark side is something that comes out when I get so angry not at one person but over a series of events and then there's a last straw and I get mad at one person because of a series of things that happened. But when I get to that point it's only happened a couple of times I literally black out. And I do things that I did not know I was capable of doing and I don't remember doing it and that terrifies me. The fact that I don't remember doing it means that I don't have control of it which is why I'm terrified of it..... It's not like someone else is taking over my body and doing whatever they want.... It is exactly that someone is taking over my body and doing whatever they want....That is exactly what is happening.... Someone else is using my limbs and body and my brain and performing actions that I'm not even capable of doing. How incredibly freakish is that!!!! I mean WTF!!!!!! HOW IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE!!!!! GOD HELP ME!!!!
Granted the things I did do we're not something that I regretted doing. Even though they were things that I did not think I was physically capable of doing they were things that more or less needed to be done so going into that state was like something I had to do to get to that point where I would be capable of performing those actions. Yes the bottom line is that it was a necessary evil but the fact that it was something that I would not normally do scares me.
Thank you for bringing up your perspective!
God is there to help you if you only ask. 🫶
I've done all of them, I still do, but videos like this make me be more aware of my actions and understand more about me and be a better version of myself, thanks!
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Yeah. 1. Explode. 2. Ghost them. 3. Be a bad guy to manipulate due to irritation 4. Stubborn on idea or explanations 5. imitate people . 6. Fighting back in some wrong ways 7. 2nd level defensive due to past experience
Helpful in the sense I need to manage it, just like how to manage anger. Sigh...
Not sure if manipulative is true, cause we always want the best for others. Yes, we might have more info about a person, and use it to our advantage.
We were talking about the unhealthy INFJs. You're right, healthy INFJs usually want the best for others, as they have a high sense of empathy.
Lots of art therapy and shadow work helps with this deep dive
I find it amusing, when people try to guess who we are and still hate on us
I know who I am, and that's my core trait
“No tree, it is said, can grow to heaven unless its roots reach down to hell.” ― 🐐
this is honestly just insane. i had to pause it and think about how they were saying the exact things i was aware of myself doing personally.
Okay!
As an INFJ this is so legit. Thanks, I get to know myself better.
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Haha I feel like I have been stripped naked! this is so me, I bottle up, I slam the door and shut people out, I am uncompromising, I have extreme self doubt, I am defensive, and I am Ruthless, the only thing I don’t do in this list is being manipulative, I wouldn’t even dare.
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For INFJ manipulation is in their blood it's just that they never got caught, because they don't admire this nature, what they admire most is perfection, when you will start slamming lots of door you will see how manipulative you will become.
I am SOOOOO guilty of the door slam holy fffffff. It usually feels so good, but I’ve had those who have been slammed on confront me and that’s where I short circuit
Thanks for sharing!!
Oh God! The clown laughing at the end of the video really freaked me out...!
Sorry for that!
The Epic Door Slam of INFJ. I always do that to people whom have affected me much
;)
Deceptive reasoning? I took that personal. 😁
...I got the feeling it's not good that I relate to all of those points..
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I have ALL of these traits. Especially defensiveness. Makes me feel like I'm a Narcissist now!.
Thanks for sharing!
@@PsychologyRefresh ❤
Same here :/ ✋
I absolutely HATE the fact that even I have been manipulative in the past, so much it makes me cringe because I've learned to just be straightforward, friendly or not. I'm greatly against it because it's against authenticity and it stills falls under harming people's trust. That said, when narcissistic people or bullies are causing harm towards either me or someone else with no remorse, then I can be tempted to pull out the box of mental tricks to punish them as fit. It's getting back with sophisticated vengeance. So, as much as I hate to do it, I only become a trickster in order to gain peace or justice. I do take my own wrongdoings as a man when I know I've done wrong and improve myself.
Self-awareness, honesty, as well as letting go of how things should go and how people "should" react according _your_ expectations, are keys to dropping manipulative tendencies.
Thanks for sharing!
lmao i didnt know there was a term for me ignoring my stepdads existence for months. what was really hard is that he seemed about the same mbti, just extroverted. we pretty much hated eachother for being horrifyingly alike and seeing owns dark qualities in another. the whole thing was really weird bc he was almost thirty and i was like nine or something. not very even lmao
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The “door slams” is legit, i attended few colleges and met new peoples and friends but after that i just shut them down totally, they even tried to track me down or trying to in contact with me but i just dont give a damn response, the worse door slam i ever done was towards 2 of my best buddies.
Thanks for sharing!
1.true
2.true
3. I dont think im manipulative, but yeah I guess I can be without realizing it
4. True
5. True
6. True
7. True
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I have been watching videos about mbti for awhile now, i finally undestand myself better now, i experience all these dark side even b4 knowing my mbti, specially the first 3, i remember when i was just a child, i realize one time that i can just manipulate my relatives because they always believe me, and that scares me, they say i am the 'smart' one, how can i go wrong, and my intuition is always spot on, and they cant lie when i am around, my cousin once told me they thought i am a mind reader, specially when i am staring at them, and the bottling up and door slam, i once did that to a distant cousin, who's much older than me, up until now, i still pretends she did not exists, she experienced my eruption, and still afraid of approaching me, i am not proud of that, but cant help it, 😐😐
Thank you for bringing up your perspective!
All of these are accurate because I've done and experienced all of these, it's very informative for people who wants to know about us.
the first one is such a big struggle
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Why am I smiling manically after this video -thoughts of an infj
🤣
Check our INFJs playlist!
To an INFJ… They aren’t disturbing”. It’s how we do life. “
:)
Thanks for the video. You've done a great job. I'm an INTJ, but unlike other INTJs, I'm sensitive and also care about other people's emotions. I can also read people, and I also have strong personal values and ethics; maybe I have a developed FI. One of my co-founders is an INFJ, and the problem is that he is not ready to do hard work, take risks, learn new skills, or improve himself. He wants to get everything in his hands without doing any hard work. I didn't become direct for one year because I didn't want to hurt him, but after wasting 2022, I didn't want to waste 2023 any more. Here's the thing: He's in his 2nd year of college, and I'm a college dropout who took the risk to do something big, so from late 2022 on, I started becoming a bit more direct about his mistakes in a soft way, but he took it in a personal way, and at one point he exploded his emotions at me, but I didn't take it seriously. Now he is trying his best to manipulate me, betraying me, and lying to me. And one time, when I caught him lying about a work project and a client that was really important, I dug deep into his lies, and then, at the end, he himself admitted he was trying to betray me. But what surprises me is that he still wants to be my friend, as he thinks I'm one of his best friends. I too felt the same way back then, but now I can't be friends with someone I can't trust who will lie and try to manipulate every situation.
Just want to say, don't think every INFJs are good, Hitler & Osama bin Laden were also INFJs.
Thank you!
Leave him Most likely he suffers from narcissistic personality disorder

INFJs are not manipulative, that's more of an ENFJ. Dark side of a INFJ is becoming unhealthily depressed and following wrong believes.
Manipulate in a sense to make the person come to a conclusion that u want him or her to say out loud the answer that u want.
A Sigma/Assertive Infj Will Have a better control over these things ,Taking my own self As a Example I do Have a Better Control over these things now because i control my dark side now not the other way around .
It also depends on how much experience you have with other people in social situations And with your own Dark side Over the Period of Time .
Refusing to comply with mandates is not stubborn--it is necessary. I am not free not to be free.
Okay!
I'm an INFJ and this year I also slammed the door. Perhaps for the first time in my life. It was ESTJ and she absolutely did not listen to me, did not understand and continued to do what I asked her to stop. A person constantly broke into my life and wanted to spit on the fact that I am not able to speak or do something at the moment. She absolutely did not understand me even after several years of our friendship, did not understand and did not accept my principles. And this year I realized that I can no longer communicate with her, to continue is to slowly kill myself. At first I tried to keep communication to a minimum, but the person started asking why I didn't communicate with her, and I said straight out. She absolutely did not hear and did not listen to me.
I surprised all my friends with this, few people expected that my patience could also run out. But after what happened, I have never regretted what I did.
As an infj, I dont agree with being manipulative, even though we can clearly see some manipulative ways to acheive something, we dont take that route cuz manipulating others is almost like hurting others and being selfish.but if someone has done manipulation to an infj in the first place then its a completely different story...
Thanks for sharing this!
Not all infjs are too nice not to manipulate others
extraverted is called to be important which it isn't, but because the world is extraverted it says so...
the first one just happened to me yesterday.. i feel so called out lmfao
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@#6 in my expierance it's when the INFJ dishes out to much truth they are refered to as defensive, when others do this it is refered to as standing up for one self😂😂😂🤷♀️
Oh gosh this so accurate.
I did use manipulation before, as I needed tasks to be done at work., but I’m trying not to.. as I feel that this is very wrong.
So accurate🥲 but as an adult we want to help ourselves to be better. I hope I overcome or lessen this dark side of me
Glad to hear!
All of them. Looks like I have a lot of work to do. I thought I was going crazy I did a myers briggs test and found out its just My personality type. I need to find a balance between the light and dark sides.
I have used manipulation on people who I thought deserved it. Like hypocritical managers at work.
I have gathered Information that could harm them and when they have tried to throw me or a colleague under the bus I told them to behave or they would be under there with us.
I've slammed the door on someone 8 months ago and feel much better for it. That is scarily accurate
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@@PsychologyRefresh thank you
@@tiggerthecat5525 You're welcome!
INFJ know your boundaries, then your life might be less tiring ☺️
I really really enjoy so much to know how people interpretation of my DARK SIDE
What is your take on your dark side?
@@PsychologyRefresh its just part of me. Even the moon got dark and bright side. Nothing unusual. The darker it is the more fun and entertaining isn't it.
@@jimquek6229 Thank you for sharing!
I used manipulation on certain management that didn't conform to my personal values of the right and wrong way to deal with people and helped them to bring themselves down
Okay!
Manipulation is not only for bad or hurting people it also has good intentions. Don't focus always on bad side try to manipulate a person for good purpose. Like for example: I manipulate my friend to bring his food, that person don't really like to eat lunch and I suggest him to bring me a food he always eat in their house, because I want to eat them. But all in all, I don't really eat it, I just use myself as an excuse, so that he can eat too. See I use manipulation in a good way that's it!
~sorry if my grammar is bad.
Thank you for this comment!
Very accurate information.
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Translation : after all infjs are humans.
Very true!
Wow this channel is all about intuitives
It is not! Check out this playlist ---> bit.ly/3bQ3iVA
I would have liked the 'manipulative' one to be a bit more specific. I think I sometimes use it in self defence, if I have been worn down enough. But it has to go pretty far before I do it, as I can't really do it to people I care about. I will admit, if someone is being severely cruel to me for years, intentionally. Then I do get a sadistic fulfilment from 'manipulating'/confusing them. But again, this is very extreme cases. I do think I 'manipulated' adults when I was a child, to make them think I was more mature and responsible than I actually was, to get more freedom to be by myself. Not sure if this counts or not. In general, I HATE manipulation, and I prefer to only use it for the most extreme cases, where all else fails.
Thanks for sharing this!
When I was younger, I used to think that all "bad" people should die. That is why KIRA from Death Note really appealed to me. I used to think that way.
Thank you for bringing up your perspective!
I expect that if I had power or were president, I would often become like Saddam Hussein or Joseph Stalin. The good continues and the bad dies

I have done door slam thing for 3 people in my life for this whole 20 years. so it's not 'normal'
I can totally relate to all of the above mentioned topics.
I feel 😪 sad when, I have been pushed, 😞 to a point, with no option but to door slam.
I'm filled with a mixture grief and relief 😌 from losing the a contact that I have enjoyed but it has run its cause.
I'm do tend to bottle up anxiety and depression so eventually something has to give way 🙂
Perfect!
It's good to have someone knows you well. Thank you!
My pleasure! You should watch this playlist ---> bit.ly/3PvmfLb
about flipping into extroverted thinking it's totally agreeable... 95% of time i avoid voilance & fighting but when i am cornored and people start to think m a weak and starts to bully me, i get fliped and my body legit burst with soo much adrenaline & mental energy that my body legit sarts to vibrate and i totally lose a sense of holding back... when i am in that state, i don't give a fk who the enemy infront me is.. professional assassin, tiger, lion, snak, godzilla, demon or alien... I will legit crush it down until they lose thier existance. That's the darkside of me and i am scared of myself more then i am scared of other situations.
Interesting inisght!
Everyone has negative personality traits.
Yes.
@#1...we are not intentionally bottling it up. We give people the benefit of the doubt that they will grow and adjust. You know, start acting like adults at some point. So when that doesn't happen, they get the truth handed to them, and the truths not always pretty. Most of the time The INFJ has spoken on the issue however people only understand toxic or negative communication so their words fall on deaf ears.
Introverted sensing is the function that is useful to elaborate traumas in an INFJ, if combined with good introverted thinking and introverted feeling
Awesome job. I wonder how different we infjs are from the other 7 empath types. You know a lot about us especially our demonic side.😂😅😂😂😂. Excellent video.
Thank you so much!
Bro are you spying on me 😂 it's damn accurate each and every line specially bottling up emotions.
That's something happens to me all the time my friends know that I don't get angry very often but If I am I bad mood it's best to not mess with me
One time my best friend was teasing me and I was in bad mood he still remember that day as a lesson he never ever dared to tease me again 😂
Thanks for sharing!
this is so accurate its crazy!
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@#3 wish I could figure that one out😂😂😂do they give classes on that ability🤔😶!
The miniplate part is accurate.....
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Welp, I feel called out! 🙄
Ups.
Just relax, take it one day at a time my INFJ's. Remember we are like Itachi Uchiha or Sosuke Aizen. We are like a substitution of god, when he wants to go on vacation, he picks one of us to take over temporarily till he gets back. Like bingo, and he spins the balls and one of us INFJ's is picked. Oh the pain and horror of such a responsibility. Sigh....but on the plus side. We might be the most pure people of heart. Wooo hoooo.
Very interesting insight!
@@PsychologyRefresh But of course. Only a INFJ can understand there purpose on earth. We are neither wanted in heaven, because god does not want the competition or hell, because that would be too cruel and we would never leave the devil alone. And aliens do not want to abduct us. Because we are to complicated.
So I'm going on a idea that a INFJ Heaven is a pocket Dimension heaven just for us. separate from the actual heaven. And yes. No INFJ wants to be in reincarnated. I know I do not want too be.
PS. INFJ's are on this earth to be among everyone. Like it or not. How else can we understand the sorrow of the people unless we walk among them.
Nah , Naruto and Obito are infjs, I don't think itachi and aizen are
Manipulation has got me this far in life 🤫
The door slam is targeted avoidant behavior