The darkside of the INFP
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 8 сен 2024
- #infp #16personalities #mbti
Our Website - lovewhoworld.com
Our Patreon - / lovewho
Join Our Discord - / discord
The mediator, the healer, are they just too cute to go dark? In a word, no.
Email address - contactlovewho@gmail.com
Find more exclusive written content on the LoveWho Patreon page: www.patreon.com/lovewho
The darkest personality of INFP is we understand people so well. So if we feel that we are disrespected or mocked or we are not allowed to walk on our way of life, we can use that knowledge for something really really bad. We can attack people mentally, so deep that someone will not be able to heal from it.
Daniel Pradhana Saputra God this is so true
true af honestly
i agree, no mercy once mercy is forsaken
Omg so true. When someone disrespect n mocked it's taken me a long time for me to forgive n talk to them again....even when I forgive them I won't be warm toward them ever again... One time I even make a grown man cry 😬
Yes... We do know the other's weaknesses and hidden secrets, and we know how to attack them if they are hurting us.
I guess my dark side is my I don’t care side. Whenever I feel like I’m not being treated right I just stop caring about anything
Edit: okay you guys I haven’t seen this comment in forever and the amount of likes this have I just could never. Thank you! I appreciate it and I’m glad to know I’m not the only one.
That's dangerous indeed!! ~ Nathan
Bingo. When I don't feel appriciated and respected I'm like "fuck everything". Maybe we just need more validation?
That almost sounds like the INTP's vice of apathy.
Same! I call it “Fuck it” mode 😂
I'm like this too!
Sometimes i feel deep pain when nobody understands me. I start isolating myself and feel so lonely
--------------------------
Guys, I'm shocked that so many people can relate to my comment
I just want all of you to be happy and live your best life~
I believe that you'll find loving and supportive people that make you feel comfortable
Love you all♡
Welcome to the world of the INFP.
I feel you
If you are INFP, I suspect that you would find it helpful to hang around some of these youtube comment sections - you might see that there are people who have gone through the same thing, and who do understand. I wish there had been a resource like this when I was younger .....
@@nozecone yes, im so happy that i finally found people feeling the same
@@user-vs3tb1kw3h I'm glad - stick around - and good luck!
i'm an INFP, and i have anger issues and i tend to bottle up my emotions.
i'd like to be a good, kind and sweet person, you know? the problem is i'm too aggressive
I'm the exact opposite with anger issues. I don't bottle them up. Instead I blow up from the slightest inconvenience. Then everyone types me as a thinker because of that smh
Me too, I'm super passive aggressive and often I find myself being quite manipulative
Bro I had anger management issue in the past however I have gotten way better but still have fear of being angry mangament issue I suggested try do exercise,yoga,medition,gym or even martial arts it's helps you calm down and good luck with that
At least you don’t cry when you are angry.....it can get embarrassing. Not with everyone but when I finally (I bottle up my emotions too) get mad at someone I love I tend to get really emotional and then I might cry too which is embarrassing because I feel I’m really under pressure and misunderstood
@@missfortune9680 i know.. so many emberrassing memories bc of that:(
As and INFP my mind can get pretty dark and I’m aware of it, ppl say infps would make bad villains but if our anger, pain and dark side is unleashed... good luck it takes a long time to push us past that point I’ve never been past it but I get scared of the thought of myself getting to that point
Thank you for keeping your dark side in check!!
The darkness envelopes our minds and clouds our judgement. We have our own moral compass that guides us. In other words, if that compass has been shattered too many times, it becomes irreparable and the darkness becomes the basis of our decisions. Legality holds no bearing in our decisions anymore. It's truly scary how we become capable of anything...
I hope I never reach that point...
Most people know me as sweet and caring and all that good stuff, but the handful that have made trouble for those I love have no doubt that an INFP can be a villain. We just don't usually do in big, flashy ways. We're subtle. Intimate.
as a INFP as well, there was one time where i was almost pushed past a point of no return. it was almost like my primal instincts took over and had the intent to kill, after that ive never let myslef gotten there again. instead if someone piss me off ill use what i have access to, to make them suffer as much as i can. back in highschool i had a group of people insulting my gf at the time and so almost got them expelled for it. all i had to do is say the word and it would have happened. this would mean they would need to do the last year all over again because they wouldnt be present in enough classes to even be able to take the exams. i let them have a chance to stop what they where doing and they did.
I've been to that breaking point. I stood on the edge and was ready to dive in headfirst. At 13, I knew what I was going to do, was fully aware of all of the ramifications of following through, and was ready to proceed anyway. My best friend talked me out of it, and I still wonder (12 years later) whether she had the right idea or not. I know what my life would look like now had I ignored her, and everything in me screams that it would have been worth it.
Do INFP's have a dark side? Hell yes. We're just better than most at hiding it.
"It's all or nothing, in which case, is often nothing," I said as someone asked me why I'm unhappy being an INFP.
For me, it’s everything all the time, until I crash and burn like a thundering blaze of emotionally drained embers fading into the darkness of coal
YES. This is so true.
sameeee
exactly...paralysis
This is why I’m getting nothing done
Everyone: Come on your an INFP you are always gentl-
Me: I have rage
✨R A G E✨
Hahahaha yaas
RAAAAAAAAAAAGE
I am, like, the most gentle, easy going driver around. I like to go slow, relax, and save fuel... But when enough slow, inconsistent, annoying people get in front of me or behind me, I'll go into CRAZY KAMIKAZE GTFO OF THE WAY MODE!
_rage_
I am so out real world it is not a joke anymore. I tend to daydream from morning till evening, but accomplish 10% of what I should. Thus, i am now studying a degree I hate, living with parents, have no friends and not following my dreams. I am trying to move forward, but books, videos do nothing, journaling make it even worse, and I hate my life.
Oh yeah I totally agree with you. Even in conversations I sometimes randomly run into my dreams. But even if I wonder as you do there is this inner peace in enjoying the crazy way I am and laughting about it.And to be honest it is with Jesus I feel accomplished. I feel my desires filled and I know He is waiting for me out there in heaven because He has loved to death so my failures would be washed and He threw them in the deepest of oceans and doesnt remind them anymore. And observing His love deeper than anything is the Truth that filles me every day. Good or bad,schoolday which I kind of do not like He is here,offering the relationship of real Love.
Fun fact: infp are the most spiritual searching beings.😊 Just to let you know,do not hate your life,you are loved just the messy way you are!😊 God bless you !😊
Oh I so can relate! :(
This is probably not what you want to hear, but sometimes the plain old-fashioned advice that your grandmother would give you is the best: exercise, sleep, eat well - and get out and do something apart from classes. Did I mention exercise? Oh - and change your major - and if that means standing up to your parents, do it.
nozecone well said. That was exactly me a year ago. I went through my worst phase ever of depression, was miserable and had ruined almost every relationship that I had. Dropped out of uni, started working out a little, but most importantly found a temporary job, which provided me a chance to discharge in a way - I would work a hard as I could and making myself tired, also being busy helped not to think about negativity in my life while providing an escape which helped to change my thought pattern. I spent 4 amazing months there, met great people that I fell in love with. It gave me strengt and confidence and experience. After that I enrolled in a new study program in another city and everything is so so so much better. If I hadnt been so miserable at that time that I droped out, I would still be doing the same crap going in the worst possible direction that is not meant for me and god forbid graduated with a degree that I would have never used. I believe you should try to do what is best for you first and with time things will fall into their places if that makes sense! with all my love I hope things work out for you
I feel you
As an Infp I'm a polite, kind and supporting person, always resolving conflicts whenever they start and try to avoid tensions.
However if anyone is stupid enough to get himself between me and my way of life, or me and my friends/family (rare) i can be a real asshole, using all my understanding of people to exploit their weaknesses and make them feel terrible about themselves.
I'm also not really concerned by public opinion or laws, which is why I would also beat up someone, and go medieval on their asses in extreme situations.
But yeah sure I love flowers and poems like all infps do.
Great comment, thank you! ~ Nathan
Thank you for reading it.🙂 Great work on analyzing the mbti btw, especially the "slots" and how together they explain the behavior of a personality type.
@@dreamwriter8423 That's really great to here, I appreciate you saying that!
It's what I call a truth bomb. We tell people who they are out of no where. Since others like to pretend we are who we are not.
@@serenitythroughdiscoveryho8448 So true 👏
Another dark INFP quote, "I would murder the entire world if only you would love me"...
I kind of love that quote! ~ Nathan
@@lovewho I think it was in the movie Gladiator. I remember that line striking a deep chord when I first heard it...
Have you watched Crimson Peak? The villain there somewhat like that of your quote
@@dmmaula4319 Not yet, thank you. I will look for it!
Yeah Gladiator, from the ENTJ emperor, Fi seeking. Got rekt by ISTJ hero
Infps almost always feel like it's unfair to pick only one side without all the facts. It's almost impossible to settle on only one thing. Making choices and decisions is a nightmare, especially when you've been out of touch with reality.
But flowers, poems and vintage stuff are the best
YESYESYES
my logic is, it's an good argument if you yourself cabt finy any arguments against yourself
But I do find many and that's why I don't discuss that often bc I'm mostly 50/50 even if I tend strongly to the other side I usually can understand the other side fully
YEESSS OMG I struggle with making decisions so much 😭 there's just so many options and different things that you have to weigh out and I just 😭
Yeah that's why when we do make decisions and have beliefs it's pretty solid.
Very true! I think that everyone deserves to be heard, because it's not easy (at least for me) to have a voice. I have often played devil's advocate..only to immediately switch sides when I discovered a major flaw in the argument that I supported just before.
@@CaveyMoth actually I would say MOST people deserve to be heard but letting obvious bad players have some "equal or objective" voice is a little silly. Part of modern day problems are that pseudo science bs gets a voice simply out of the weird idea that every idea is equal...
My dark side is my depression, I stop caring about everything and the world seems dark and cold, especially when I'm alone with my thoughts. It's a lonely and dark place and emotionally (ironically) exhausting.
Don't be afraid, I feel it too
I am the same
Me too.
I can relate to this
This is me 😥
my dark side is my lack of confidence and my past and all those mistakes..my depression and overthinking and negativity.
Sadly, same
Yes, so me.
Yes. Over thinking and regretting the past doings
As an infp i used to be pretty much the same and i sometimes still struggle with it (especially overthinking)
This helped fr:
- get to know yourself better. Use your ne and te to analyze your biggest desires and fears as well as your behavior
- use philosophy and build strong values for your life. Always question them in certain situations to make sure its not a false belief that will mislead you
- We get inspired very easily (especially by enfps) so find your role models analyze them and adopt their positivity. Remember positivity is a strenght and if you keep it youre wiser than at least 60% of people
- make working on yourself a routine. Find creative ways to fix your problems and try things out. Take all the help and knowledge you can get
-find your strenghts and upgrade them (try not to compare yourself to others)
-Forgive yourself. Consider that it was the best your past self could do and LEARN from your mistakes. Everything that happened, happened for a reason and the knowledge you got from it is so valuable. Keep that knowledge, it will help you get through life.
- And most importantly: give yourself breaks. Nobody can fight the whole time through. If you are depressed and things seem hopeless, when you doubt everything, be aware that it is just a temporary state where your mind is so dark, you can’t see the truth anymore. Accept your feelings, enjoy them if you feel like it and allow yourself to feel that way for a day or two. When you feel better go on like nothing happened. Its important to never entirely give up on yourself, even if you think you are at point 0. Hope gives you power. It keeps you going. I literally refuse to drop it.
Well to sum it up: Building a huge value system based on the values of role models and philosophy as well as your own experiences will help you become more balanced and it will make you strong💪🏻
Hope it helps. It helped me. So why shouldn’t it help you too?
“Not all who wander are lost.”
A poem by Bilbo Baggins, ENFP, about Aragorn, ISTP. All existing in the mind of Tolkien, INFP.
Thank you - I was kind of miffed that he didn't tell us ... !
You’re welcome. What does “miffed” mean? Lol
Love it.
@@midnightbearhug1027 'Miffed' means 'slightly annoyed'.
@@NathanJGlass I realize (now) that it would be a pop-culture reference that we're all supposed to recognize - but I'm INFP ... ! It's probably rather un-INFP of me not to have gotten into Tolkien, but I never could get past the first few pages of anything of his I tried to read, and haven't watched any of the movies end to end ..... Thanks for the vid., & Merry Christmas - or whatever seasonal greeting you prefer!
I feel attacked yet understood so well
My bad and also thank you!
@@lovewho I love you. You're amazing, so perceptive. I feel so understood.
@@lovewho your face look like buff guy but in thin body :/
Whenever I hear this about INFPs (me) I always think of the live from Hamilton "if you stand for nothing Burr, what will you die for ?"
Like
Why INFP’s and INTP’s make the perfect villains:
I: Introverts are more likely to have had been bullied, and they are quiet and reserved, which makes them hard to predict.
N: Intuitive types daydream a lot. They have wild imaginations, and always think of new ways and ideas. This makes them revolutionary villains, possibly the worst type of villain. Thanos is a revolutionary villain.
F/T: Feeling types could go of the hinge and go bat crazy, while thinking types are methodical and cautious. Either way, incredibly dangerous.
P: A villain with a flexible schedule is dangerous. This means they have plenty of space to move around, and they let boredom guide them. The judging trait would be used for your more classical tortured soul villain.
but then the laziest of all types. Usually we just don't do anything that we have planned.
@@SuchingYan true
So INFP’s are more of chaotic villains, following their impulses, while INTP’s are more of “strategists” villains?
@@linasifoxhere8958 yea...pretty much
Saint Aqua No, I think we’d be like Thanos, sure that we are making the world better. I think, like he said, we are willing to push for our ideals no matter what the cost is because we believe it is the ultimate good.
All that glitters is not gold
All who wander are not lost
The old that is strong does not wither
Deep roots are not touched by the frost
Tolkien was an infp I think
I think he was too! ~ Nathan
Yes he was!
I think Carl Jung was too. I have found a lot of encouragement/ hope in his way of understanding things🦋🌿
That “all or nothing” is so clean to see in relationships. I don’t know if it’s just me, but as INFP i’m always searching for my twin soul.. like 100% of how i want it! Not 50%, not 80%, not 99%, ONLY 100%. This is the reason why in the end i always reject every boy i date for a period.. because i realize that they doesn’t match with my “draw” of them in my mind. We know well that everyone has defects, us INFPs as well, but we want the perfect partner. I thinks it’s so... destructive.
(Sorry in advance for my bad English haha)
I understand you, I do the same. But, often I'm like ''wait. Nobody's perfect. Relax, give them a chance'', after I'm disappointed and sad but I still think ''Well, that's ok. Give them an other chance....'' and again and again... at the end I often did that and I often ended with bad relationship that I'm unhappy with and that make me feel like crap. I used to do that. Now, I prefer to be alone than to be with people that don't meet my expectations, because I know that I would not be happy with them.
I never was in a relationship but no matter how close I am to my friends I always feel something is lacking because of my idealised ideas of friendship that media and the stuff I watch enhance even more. Like the perfect but at the same time relatably broken friendship group shown in anime - I would die to have that
It's not destructive. It's protective. I knew from the start that I could never be happy with a less than perfect relationship (my parents had a perfect one) and so I decided not to seek any romantic relationship. As a result, I have never suffered heartbreak, never been rejected, never been cheated on. Considering how easily I am broken by smaller problems, it's for the best.
@@helenwood8482 In my case I don't want to bother people with my personality + I am not mature enough to gave up the freedom I have and also I am hopeless romantic XD
That’s okay and the reason why you reject young men/men. Because of your high standards and you need to lower your standards, and learn on how to attract them. If you don’t do this for yourself it will be an issue for you, and you need to problem, and solve on your own.
To avoid making your high standards too problematic. You need to dive deeper and find the reasons why you have high standards for men, or young men in the first place. Then problem solve by finding the solution without making it problematic.
My friends were talking about things they don't like about each other. For me, INFP, they said "since you're usually so nice, it's really scary when you get upset"
Another friend said it's scary that I can pick up when they're lying... I just remember things they've said and notice the inconsistencies. Being a good listener and over-concerned is usually a positive thing, but can accidentally make it easy to manipulate people haha 😅
INFPs can definitely go into scary Hulk-mode. Hope you liked the video!
@@NathanJGlass Thanks! I feel called out but in a good way haha. It was a great video!
I've been told that nobody likes to see me upset, even as a guy. I do my best not to be *visibly* upset, because it's not worth it for me to make things worse, but that would mean I'd have to internalize more of it.
Omfg same. I’ll pick up even the smallest of details and notice inconsistencies. I’ll be like “hey but you said this and that like a month ago wtf-“ In my case it can hurt relationships pretty quickly:(
Still wouldn’t change the watchful/observational aspect of myself though. Once an ex said to me (whilst trying to lie out of being caught cheating) “nothing gets past you, you know everything” YES BITCH I DO.
Some may see it as a way of manipulation but that rather depends on what you do with the information, I personally view it as a method of self-preservation. Gotta keep those eyes peeled for danger 👀
I find that my dark side is that I care WAY too much. It sounds like a good thing, but if I like something I get utterly obsessed with it. In some ways it helps me. The obsession with my art and my writing has driven me to be better but I’ll get obsessed with things that I really shouldn’t. I get really caught up with shows, books, movies and just technology in general. I stay up way too late all the time because I can’t put my phone or book down and I don’t want to start the next day because it will be filled with boring things that I can’t get any “feeling” out of, such as school, work, etc. It’s a problem that I need to fix but I can never seem to get my mind to cooperate with me. Procrastination is my biggest enemy.
I feel this through my soul😪❤️
As a INFP I understand this so much. I will get obsessed over a tv show or like even just a celebrity, it’s horrible, I hate how I do that, it even sometimes goes into being way to over connected to a character in a tv show, or a singer.
ahhh yes thanks to you I'm reminded of my young self T^T I have a really bad obsession of being a salted fish and also the obsession of reading, really, my obsession of reading got to the point of worse that i did not sleep for 5 days and just keep on reading and i don't want to experience the aftermath for a second time. and of course during this quarantine it would worsen again tho im able to sleep for 3-6 hours since quarantine, so you see i can control myself better now. but what's really sickening and nauseating is that my obsession of reading doesn't really just contain novels or stories I have read math materials, physics electronics and all kinds of boring crap when i was in highschool because i dont have a cellphone that time. I cant go on a day without holding a book i have to read something whatever kind of shit is that even if i dont understand i just have to read. When i was in highschool I developed the problem of book hoarding. I have stolen many books in our school library and I still have the books till now haha i feel guilty of course but i think if i can go back to the past i will still do it lol. Now that i have a cellphone tho it replace the books i have to hold. my cellphone has to be with me all the time or i will go batshit crazy. i remember when i first got a cellphone and it broke two years after i literally cried until i passed out and got depressed for a year. every night i will cry and thats the only reason why i was able to sleep despite my insomnia. until now i still cant forget the bitter feeling of my phone broking down i was badly traumatize but well i have to go on in my life so i have to recover there were books so i was able to recover slowly. i have gone through 5 gadgets and whenever they act up i will really have anxiety. i really dont want to experience that kind of shit again. unlike with my obsession of reading i can control more my impulse of book hoarding i mean im poor and stealing is illegal so i was able to control it. Im sure without the many restrictions back in my youthful impulsive days i’ll probably be a criminal now and will do terrifying things for the sake of reading and book hoarding. i sound crazy and insane but well even now when im an adult i still have the impulse of taking books especialy if im in a library or a book store and of course i havent steal books cause its illegal tho i probably look crazy and sus when im in there because if i see a book i really like im holding it for a really long time and keep coming back. im probably in their watch list haha . Im a poor person and i dont have a lot of money so i cant go to a therapist i dont have the capacity and right circumstances and well i feel like it isnt really a problem since i love reading anyway and im sure i wont steal books becase im a dignidied normal person but well
Duuuuude yes. This is also me. Get a therapist. Talk about this stuff. Ask for ideas to manage it. It will help. (If that’s what you’re after, maybe it isn’t but it’s helping me, slowly).
@@stacysmom3825 do you develop little daydream scenes in your head and write scripts n stuff involving characters that you get obsessed over? I do this 😂 It’s such a waste of time but it’s so much fun hahaha
Is anyone ever annoyed with THEMSELVES at how emotional they are? Like Yes, obviously I logically understand I can't have a break down every time I see a lonely looking dog in the city (They EXIST) and yes, I understand LOGICALLY I can't bring another one home with me, and yes yes yes logically I understand 4 dogs is possibly too many. Unfortunately, the doggo is already in the back, I've named him Roscoe and he's part of my family now. GODDAMNIT emotions have pranked me yet again, who needs money to buy food anyway.
Lol, this is so true! XD
change dog with cat and that's how I got mine:)
oh, and btw...am I the only one to cry at dying bees?
I am exactly the same way.
you're so pretty 💞
I'm INFP, and this is my dark side:
Forgiveness is the path to peace, but when it comes to cruelty... no second chances.
When people kill spiders, I think they're cruel, lol.
wow I'm like the opposite of that and im infp
also thats more of a virtue...but okay
@@CaveyMoth dude I'm an infp and if I see a spider and no else is gonna take care of it, I'mma kill it... It's disgusting to me and make me feel bad tho
i really like those words, i might make something similar about your idea, kudos to you my friend :D
I feel that "being uncompromising about your values" is a trait that gets wrongly associated with FPs. They absolutely have values that they care about, but they know these values are subjective. FPs are pretty flexible and adaptable, they can also easily see other perspectives, and seeing how those perspectives and methods serve our values. Personally as an INFP, I've never had problems negotiating or compromising if it gets me results, and I find people who are uncompromising about their ideals to be frustrating and foolish. This is more about being type 1 enneagram, which very few INFPs are -- being type 1 is more of a J thing. FJs buy into "objective morality" more easily, while Ps are not married to rules.
Nonetheless I find the "wanderer" part of your video to be spot on. INFPs are always seeking something deeper, purer, and never quite get there because it's an ideal.
Ok this is a great comment and makes a lot of sense to me!
Cosigning this as an INFP. I find that our biggest obstacle is *other people* being uncompromising in *their* values, which leads to a tremendous amount of frustration. If the other party is being 5 % compromising and we’re willing to give somewhere around 30-50 %, the math just doesn’t add up. In situations like these, the *only* choice is to be uncompromising, lest you’ll let the other party walk all over you, which is a problem for many INFPs.
This could be because there are higher level values guiding one into negotiation and compromisation. All the way down at the foundation one may be able to find the firm values.
100% agree. I think most types act like a "crappy version" of their most repressed trait as a big part of their dark side...so being simplemindedly uncompromising about Fi values is more of an EXTJ imo. Whereas IXFPs go into repressed Te critical mode where we aggressively pick apart negative characteristics about people and can unleash everything we've been holding back when we get angry. But yeah the "wanderer" part of the dark side resonates with me a lot.
@@sigur95 This. I'll do almost anything to help out a situation, knowing that there are multiple paths to a happy solution. Internally, the most frustration comes from encountering types who are too self-serious. I can definitely see where the stubborn-Fi stereotype comes from, but I find I usually regret expressing or acting strongly on my views, especially before hearing more from others. I will say that as an INFP, I do usually have a clear idea of 'what I'd rather be doing', so to speak. The wandering trait is pretty spot on.
“Deep roots are not reached by frost” is another line from that poem which oddly suits the infp.
I did briefly consider saying the whole thing so I’m glad you mentioned that line! Hope you enjoyed the video ~ Nathan
As an INFP, loneliness, depression and despair are my dark side.
5:21 "very out of touch with reality" my psychiatrist literally told me those exact words once.
I find an interesting paradox in the fact that the INFP is an idealistic type deeply attached to its values, but at the same a wanderer always in quest of something deeper.
I'm an INFP who is pretty open-minded and not strongly aligned with any political party (they all have good and bad to me!) but 99% of the time I can see the other person's pov in an argument. On things I have made my own decision about (through discussion, research, and searching my own feelings) I can be quite *unyielding* and often don't follow the crowd. So I see what you mean in the video, but I'm actually pretty good at compromise! Anyways, thanks for the thoughts and I *loved* the Tolkien reference 😉
Great comment, glad you liked the video and the Tolkien quote!
I have experienced that unyielding from an Infp and i was thinking *wait...aren't u supposed to b the chill person who keeps to themselves?* XD
@@mussabsaleem7625 haha, yes we usually are laid back! But not when something is *deeply* important to us
@@pizzadohpaz True! I believe that this is both a beneficial and harmful skill to have ._. But tht is pretty much what Nathan already mentioned in the video :p.
I agree.
I’m INFP, my ideals are truth and kindness. I find myself watching tv shows and getting SO frustrated when characters keep secrets or lie. I get anxious from waiting for truth to come out and combatting that I have this need to be comfortable all the time. I just cringe so deeply when I hear about things like cheating or even surprise parties. But I suppose I’d like surprise parties if they’re for me.
Haha, I do tend to find it annoying when tv characters do that, but remember! It’d be boring if they didn’t! Ya need some drama!
I'm an INFP and compulsive liar. I lie because of my strong values combined with the fear of opposition. If I told the truth and was immediately cut down, I'd break down.
Same here! Lies and hiding the truth in TV shows tend to make me uncomfortable to a surprising degree
My dark side is my feelings of emptiness I guess. When I feel really empty, I don't even feel sympathy for the most important people in my life. I quite frankly stop caring. Listening to people's sorrows also leaves me cold then. I would never treat them badly of course, I still listen and try to help, but I always think things like "and now what, you think crying about it will make it better? Get up and change it or your mindset if you don't like it". That is my darkest side as an infp. It doesn't happen often that this side comes out tho.
i thought i was weird or had a brain problem.... naw im just an infp... good to know forreal
i'm definitely a wanderer infp. i've never really set any big goals for my life and most of my decicions are based on wanting to experience something. i don't really care about the finishing line cause i usually get distracted and wander off somewhere else before reaching it anyway haha. i just want to experience and try as many different things as i can while i'm here which can unfortunately also lead to indecisiveness bc there are so many things i'd like to do but they all require a certain level of commitment which i'm not ready to give so i just go around in circles lol
You can do that you can do what you want if you really want it you will do it believe me I'm INFP and I'm Like you I don't have big goals but if i want i can reach big goals and you can we have a POWEEEEER!! but we don't use that
power please believe me you are not weak you have enough power you don't need to anyone you need only The God and yourself 💗💗
If you see my reply, please reply back to me💗💗
thank you for saying that 😊 i wish you well
@@artificiallove4098 Welcome, I hope you are well too😊
"So cute but so dark" .....i try sometimes....i really do
INFP + HSP(Highly sensitive person) is 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭
Agreed, that sounds... intense ~ Nathan
Same same... ;-;
Im both 😔💔
Im sorry
@Martie De Leon sorry but why would Fi dom be a people pleaser, but not Fe?
My mum says Svetoslava when someone is telling you that something is impossible because of the “given reality” you will excavate the ground to show them million ways that it is possible.
I can be really stubborn especially when I have vision about the possibility of something that other can’t see because they are blindfolded by the “reality”.
Thanks to my “dark side” the best things in life have happened to me.
Yes I love art and drawing when I’m upset it helps me heal the pain.
svetoslava angelova brilliant comment! Hope you enjoyed the video!
Nathan Glass Thank you. Yes I always enjoy watching them.
Ann Smith Thanks from heart. All archetype are needed they are like a palette of a picture that won’t be complete if one is missing. Happy holidays.
This was quite a beautiful response o.O Thank you
@@SuperJack454 You metaphors are too good!!!!! do you write?
To Burden Reality - An Essay
Part I: The Problem.
We INFP's often seem to get lost within our heads. We are lead down idealistic hallways, tugged along by a leash we're unable to cast off. The scenes and worlds we paint may be pretty to the eye, but they are tainted with long odds and maybes. With a mind such as that there's no wonder why we choke on our disappointments. Many of us stay there, drowning within the blackness of our own thoughts, not accepting to shoulder the worlds pragmatic bureaucracy.
Part II: Revelation
Though it may seem an unwelcome omen, you, my dear reader, mustn't give in. There is a way out of the maze, and the way is the pragmatism we're so unsuited to.
Not long ago, I was the traveller you hear so much about. I knew the possibilities each path led to, but I saw the fault in each. You often find a worm burrowing in even the most inviting of apples. The odds of my own dream to come true (becoming a full time writer) became longer and longer as I researched what it took.
I hated the world for its demands and sulked within my own pool of blackness. But the problem wasn't the world, it was me - a glass half empty sort of thing. The unlikelyness of my dream to come true wasn't as much a limitation as an open door to new opportunities. I could get a job in a different field and experience the novelty my mind seems to yearn for, while simultaneously working on my dream. It would take a lot of work and was nothing for an idle character. As INFP's we procrastinate, which tremendously lessens the chance of our dreams to materialize in the world. I needed a system which could force me into consciousness.
Part III: The Solution
The apollo mission which made the impossible come true couldn't have been achieved without a most basic tool. The humble list stands as a corner stone of what made it happen without the computing power we have today.
People aren't so much a definite whole as we believe, but a jumble of systems working together to keep you alive. A large part of it wants to take the path of least resistance. The part which harbour your dreams is slave to this inherent idleness. That's why you can wake up early for a job you don't like five days a week, but cant do the same for your passion outside work. It's not critical to your survival, so, it rests lower on the rung of priorities.We're also forgetful. Our idleness seems to cooperate with our forgetfulness, creating some kind of selective memory.
The way I have learned to prioritize non critical things is simply to write them down in my bullet journal. I can't wilfully forget because I've promised myself to finish it. Even if I don't, I'll at least feel responsible to do better the next day.
Part IV: Summary
And so, the circle is complete. The pragmatic nature of the world serves my ideals instead of fighting them. And in fulfilling my aspirations, the monotony and inherent dullness of day to day living is buffered.
We all have our own cross to bear. It's painful and less than ideal, but that's life. Though you may not see it, your ideal wouldn't fulfill you. It's in the fight for good to win against evil where we thrive.
And if after reading this, despite my reasoning, you still only see the worm at the core, then tell me this: If the world bent to all your ideals, what would you dream of?
Whoa! ^ This comment.
The last line is beautiful!
I hope you continued on your way to becoming a writer. You have a beautiful way with language, and things to say. If you have a blog or tumblr or some place I can follow your writing progress, let me know.
This was beautiful. Thank you very much :)
Great piece!
Regarding the ideational wanderlust, I'm also reminded of the Cheshire cat who said to Alice, "If you don't know where you're going, then any road will take you there." 😺 INFPs do oft remind me of Alice in Wonderland... that sweet, idealistic innocence, or semblance of it, and curious exploration of worlds real and (especially) imagined.
"little alice fell
d
o
w
n
the hOle,
*bumped* her head
and _bruised_ her soul."
So apt.
Speaking of _"bruised_ souls," that tortured artist vibe (which I think is part and parcel to symbolic artistic expression doing more justice to the depth of Fi than words ever could hope to, in addition to Ne creativity), is sometimes better expressed by descriptions of enneagram type 4, which unsurprisingly correlates with Fi.
"Fours are self-aware, sensitive, and reserved. They are emotionally honest, creative, and personal, but can also be moody and self-conscious. Withholding themselves from others due to feeling vulnerable and defective, they can also feel disdainful and exempt from ordinary ways of living. They typically have problems with melancholy, self-indulgence, and self-pity. At their Best: inspired and highly creative, they are able to renew themselves and transform their experiences."
Fours' motivations: "Want to express themselves and their individuality, to create and surround themselves with beauty, to maintain certain moods and feelings, to withdraw to protect their self-image, to take care of emotional needs before attending to anything else, to attract a "rescuer."
"One of the biggest challenges Fours face is learning to let go of feelings from the past; they tend to nurse wounds and hold onto negative feelings about those who have hurt them. Indeed, Fours can become so attached to longing and disappointment that they are unable to recognize the many treasures in their lives." Some of you might recognize this as an "Fi-Si loop."
To quote The Smashing Pumpkins, from the appropriately titled album _Melancholy and the Infinite Sadness,_ the lyrics, "I'm in love with my saddness," will resonate with many INFPs and type 4s, but especially type 4 INFPs, on a deep level, if they are honest with themselves.
True to the enneagram, I think one of the darkest aspects of INFPs is their tendency not only to become conflict-avoidant, and self-sacrificing martyrs in their own minds, but their tendency to idealize and romanticize their own suffering, to the extent that they subconsciously seek out situations where they can be the victim yet again, and find themselves engaging in tacit competitions over who is the biggest victim, who is the most marginalized, who has suffered the most, and who has the most bruises on their soul.
This does provide a compelling contrast to the INFP's often quirky, playful energy and childlike sense of wonder. They seem to be equal parts light and dark, innocent and damaged, brimming with glee and burdened by a heavy heart. It's no wonder why they are so alluring to many. The girls especially have this major Lolita thing going on. You know what I mean.
"The little girl
just could not sleep
because her thoughts
were way too deep
her mind had gone
out for a stroll
and fallen down
the rabbit hole"
"You," he said, "are a terribly real thing in a terribly false world, and that, I believe, is why you are in so much pain."
I get that to most people, the INFP is lost in fantasy and lacking pragmatism, but remember that to Se-PoLR types it is the "real world" that is quite fake. But surely if we take "real" to mean authentically pure and idealistic, then yes, they are often too too much for their own good. And the loss of innocence that results from that conflict, I think, is what causes the dark side to emerge. Then you get those hypocritically strict INFPs stuck in a Te-grip, telling you, "That's not how it works in the real world." That very statement probably once shattered their dreams when they were children.
Addendum: In the context of "The Dark Side," it might be relevant to take a look at the "health levels" for enneagram type 4. (Most INFPs are enneagram type 4)
Level 1 (At Their Best): Profoundly creative, expressing the personal and the universal, possibly in a work of art. Inspired, self-renewing and regenerating: able to transform all their experiences into something valuable: self-creative.
Level 2: Self-aware, introspective, on the "search for self," aware of feelings and inner impulses. Sensitive and intuitive both to self and others: gentle, tactful, compassionate.
Level 3: Highly personal, individualistic, "true to self." Self-revealing, emotionally honest, humane. Ironic view of self and life: can be serious and funny, vulnerable and emotionally strong.
Average Levels
Level 4: Take an artistic, romantic orientation to life, creating a beautiful, aesthetic environment to cultivate and prolong personal feelings. Heighten reality through fantasy, passionate feelings, and the imagination.
Level 5: To stay in touch with feelings, they interiorize everything, taking everything personally, but become self-absorbed and introverted, moody and hypersensitive, shy and self-conscious, unable to be spontaneous or to "get out of themselves." Stay withdrawn to protect their self-image and to buy time to sort out feelings.
Level 6: Gradually think that they are different from others, and feel that they are exempt from living as everyone else does. They become melancholy dreamers, disdainful, decadent, and sensual, living in a fantasy world. Self-pity and envy of others leads to self-indulgence, and to becoming increasingly impractical, unproductive, effete, and precious.
Unhealthy Levels
Level 7: When dreams fail, become self-inhibiting and angry at self, depressed and alienated from self and others, blocked and emotionally paralyzed. Ashamed of self, fatigued and unable to function.
Level 8: Tormented by delusional self-contempt, self-reproaches, self-hatred, and morbid thoughts: everything is a source of torment. Blaming others, they drive away anyone who tries to help them.
Level 9: Despairing, feel hopeless and become self-destructive, possibly abusing alcohol or drugs to escape. In the extreme: emotional breakdown or suicide is likely. Generally corresponds to the Avoidant, Depressive, and Narcissistic personality disorders.
Another description:
At unhealthy levels: Individualists become excessively moody, depressed and fragile. They can develop an extreme tendency to ruminate, which is intrusive to their natural creative energies. In extreme cases, they may lose their grip on reality and resort to extreme sensory coping mechanisms such as alcohol or hallucinogens. The search for the ‘missing piece’ leads Individualists down a never-ending spiral of dead ends and roundabouts. They can fall into the same ditches and make the same mistakes if they refuse to admit their self-destructive behaviors and thinking patterns. They’re prone to developing the belief that there’s something inherently ‘broken’ about them. At the peak of their stress, Individualists may delete their entire presence from the web and isolate themselves from the world."
BTW guys, sorry for the ignored Te; any quotations not otherwise cited are from "The Wisdom of the Enneagram" and "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland."
@@annsmith936 Thank you! I tried to channel that infamous INFP-esque energy and their way with words for this video. INFPs are often quite talented wordsmiths and storytellers, when their Ne is developed. They seem to relish in the euphony of well-chosen words rolling off the figurative tongue, with a flourish of wimsy and impish charm. I'm also a 5w4 so it isn't usually too hard for me to tap into that four-ish mentality. But I guess my 5 core keeps showing through :)
This has to be one of the most insightful comments I've ever read on youtube. Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts with us.
@@luisa146 Wow. Thank you. That's quite the compliment!
@Ann Smith Why did you delete all your comments? Or is it RUclips being glitchy?
When I was 16 I had an insight moment when I read Plato's Republic and I read "justice is the health of the soul". Always be just, because while harm can come to the body, it's the soul that matters. This has been a north star to me, but I have had to revise how I look at it through the years because you can't hold tightly to an idea and expect it to always work. You have to meet life and flow with it. I probably took this idea too seriously at many points, thinking it was some magic key that I had found...
Extremely well said! Start off extreme hen adjust over time, very good advice.
I have the same experience as well. I was easy going but not compromise on many many certain things. And it's torturing. These days, still, not compromise - I'll do whatever needs to take to achieve the goal. All little details could to be compromised. Having Se friends really help me to see what Infront, instead on dreaming of the north-star 24/7.
When you talked about "revisiting" your north star, it brings me back to a quote that I like a lot ; "Appuies-toi sur tes principes et ils finiront toujours par céder", so "Rely on your values and they'll eventually collapse". Appuyer meaning both "to rely on, base on" and " to lean on". It's from Gustave Flaubert btw.
Love.
As an infp being out of touch with reality is a strange concept as I feel that I'm the one aware of the game being played while most everyone else are NPCs.
As an infp,i think when we get passionate in something,we'd do anything to get what we want no matter what.
As an INFP, my main problem is being slothful. But when I'm attached to something or someone, I can be uncompromising.
I've experienced a few dark phases...the socially awkward, self-hating, casually suicidal teenage phase; the chemically and spiritually depressed, existential dark night (actually, several years) of the soul phase; and the guilt-stricken because I acted outside my code/paranoid, fearful phase. The last was the worst.
I absolutely love how you dissect personality types, you exude this empathy and embrace for each type and people in general. Youre so easy to listen to, love your videos man, keep em coming.-INFP
Thank you!
Inferior Te can be scarier than an ESTJ's inferior Fi. From personal experience, it's something I always regret when I blow my steam off at others who have little to deserve it to begin with. It's embarrassing and mostly repressed anger that I try not to express in public, usually.
The whole point of ideals is to remain non-specific. ‘Love thy neighbour’ as an ideal only has value if it doesn’t become specified. If ‘Love thy neighbour’ became ‘knock on your neighbour s door and say hi every week or so’ then that would absolve you of having to apply that ideal to any other given situation of which there could be millions of deferring applications. Just do that task and you’re done. You’ve succeeded. Tick the box and you’re a good person (technically speaking) . So this is why INFPs carry that heavy burden. We’re always looking for how to apply those ideals in every situation (or at least we try). The frustration is seeing others do the knocking on the neighbour s door thing and feel ok about not feeling responsible for applying that principle anywhere else. They go about their day having ticked all the superficial boxes.. while we carry the weight of not living up to our high ideals and get told to just do the knocking on the door thing and move on. Stop over complicating everything.
But what if your neighbour needs you every day???!? Nope. Once a week. Done.
“True Character is who you are, when no one is watching...”
Yes - although the knocking on the door once a week may be better than nothing ....
The info is to cute but sometimes he or she is dark for being so cute
my dark side is being lowkey an emotional masochist. when my heart aches, it feels good---i'm really familiar with it. i've been hurt a lot of times emotionally that heartache is really familiar and makes me feel alive. i'm not familiar with love so i get scared from my own feelings that i imagine hurtful scenarios to hurt myself....but now i have someone who makes me feel alive with his love, i'm slowly healing ^^
The way you express " INFPs so cute" head shaking "Yet, sometimes so dark"
YES, I am scared of myself.
"All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes, a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king."
- J.R.R Tolkien, The Song of Aragorn
A Freaking Axe love it!
Omg I never thought there are people like me out there. I see this comment section and I'm sh00k. I wish I could write what I feel but it's too damn difficult. I know my dark side tho.. I'm a very polite and supportive person with an open mind but if someone get in my way or my families way I don't care how mean I can be or what I'm gonna say to them or if I'm gonna hurt them but they are freaking done. This video is really good!
Sorry, but I guess you are about to fully experience my dark side... I am an INFP who definitely has a core moral and ethical value system that I refuse to compromise, due to self-worth, self-esteem, and the drive for the society I see past the sludge it has become. I am honest with myself and know what I am willing to compromise on, and what I am not willing to, should it mean going against what I honestly hold dear. I value things such as honesty, integrity, loyalty, commitment, and humane treatment for all... there is that whole harmony thing and affinity to avoid conflict. Not so much as to go against what is good and fair though. Not all INFPs are healthy... thanks for choosing to only display those who are not, but not compromising a core belief or value is not exactly an INFP dark trait. Our "dark side" is much more complex than that.
I will not compromise being lied to, cheated on, devalued, or allowing people to treat others poorly because of narrow-minded stereotypes or harsh judgements based on some status quo.
I recently have been told that I am 1. Not intuitive because I do give people the benefit of the doubt. Wow... great insight from an unhealthy ENTP can really put the INFP into a tailspin of self-deprivication. He also claims I 2. have no perception, that I don't live in reality. As he preaches the God theory to me and sleeps with every girl he can while married... hmmmm....
I think you have some real valid points, but still may have missed something really important.
INFP, ENFP, INFJ, and ENFJ... we are the ones who want to help, and we are the ones who are most willing to compromise ourselves for the betterment of humanity. We can see much further into people, and we are the ones who are willing to take a beating spiritually and emotionally for the sake of others. We get no credit for it, and are pretty much okay with it, especially the I's out there. Our dark side... well... it's when we can take no more. It is when we finally snap. No matter how valid our hurt or upset, and no matter how rightfull we are to feel this way, we are ostracized. While those around us step on us at will because we are pushovers who desire reciprocity for our kindness and compassion and forgive when reciprocity is denied... we are only looked upon as mean when we stand up for ourselves. It's like saying "Jesus! How dare you allow yourself to be crucified for our sins and leave us!" Then if we say "okay, I'm sorry... I will stay..." and then being yelled at "what!? How shall we be absolved!? You want US to suffer for our sins? We thought you were to die for us and now you refuse? How horrible and selfish of you!' So we say, "sorry, I guess I misunderstood. So, here I go, back to the crucifix"... "what!? But you said you wouldn't leave us!"
There has to be a breaking point!
Our dark side is eventually we stop giving a shit about a world that only pretends they do. We see hypocrisy everywhere and we are stifled whenever we find a voice. Even other INFPs will shush another INFP should they want to ruffle feathers. I'm 42. I am no longer afraid to ruffle a few feathers to try to help humanity remember it had potential. To be all those things I feel are valuable. The connection between people was lost when they started being able to insult and abuse people only to "block" them to prevent retaliation and own up to their individual consequences. I stay accountable for my wrongs. It is something I value.
So here is the true dark side of an INFP... when we turn our backs on humanity... and ourselves. It happens much more often than you'd think, because no one sees it. We become bitter, angry, and give up on trying to be good and become part of the decline of man. If you have someone in your life that was always there for you, never speak to you again... you are dealing with an unappreciated INFP. If that one person you know suddenly, after never doing anything mean to anyone, does something horrendous and out of character, that's likely an INFP who stopped giving a crap, because so many never gave a crap about how we felt. The darkness is destroying ourselves and taking everyone who did us wrong with us. Aside from an INFJ... you won't feel or see a darker side of any personality. We are rare, and it is only when we become dark does the rest of the world take notice of us. J.R.R. Tolkien was absolutely correct. We are never lost although we often wander. We know more about who we are and who others are than we are credited for. Often we are told we are too stubborn for holding on to our values because we stand for something. Isn't it better to stand for what you value? Why wouldn't you? At least you stand for something. Instead of allowing yourself to become what you find deplorable? Why hate yourself? That is not healthy... no hate is healthy. All have a right to their opinion and way of thinking. I don't push my values and beliefs on others, nor do I expect them to change their own values or beliefs. I just ask that they not infringe on mine, or try and change who I have always been because they have a different view. I see that view, and respect their right to it, I just don't agree and don't have to. Ugh... now I'm just rambling and ranting. Sorry... you have a good video and good points, but I feel as an INFP that you missed something vital to that dark side. Our dark side is rare... and yet can very much be a dangerous thing. If an INFP is trapped in that darkness too long... it isn't good. We love people, and we love with all we have. Often we are lonely, because once we are not needed... that is how we are left... alone.
@TheNorth Remembers thank you. I appreciate it.
As a fellow INFP that comes in and out of the darkness, you put the feeling into words. I’m so glad I’m not the only one that has felt like this. It is when we stop caring that’s our dark side. And not just a lack of response, but when we cruelly dismiss people. We may feel bad later, but it’s like,”why can’t we be the uncaring cruel one for once?” I just try to keep my loved ones close if I can, and if I disappear for a while, I always hope they notice.
@@cCrisgreat This! Right? We are always there for other people. We go out of our way, put our needs and wants on hold for others. We sacrifice those once in a blue moon nights with friends or an significant other, or time with family for people all the time.
I drove 10 hours in a blizzard for a friend in trouble, and cancelled a date too. The next day, I was in the next room cleaning my daughter's room, and she was in my room with the door open. I'm literally in the next room with the door open... I come back and she is all upset because I left her all alone! She kept saying no one was here for her!
She got a hotel and asked me to stay with her... I did... in the same hotel I have bad memories from. I lived in that hotel with my ex husband and six kids for two months after our house burnt down, and my abusive ex and I stayed there and had a few bad fights. I did though... I stayed there. I wake up next morning, she is on the phone, again saying no one is here for her. I ended up going home, and staying for other reasons, but honestly I didn't want to go back.
This is one example. INFPs tend to have this type of thing happen over and over, and when we need someone... really need someone, no one really is there.
So the one time I put my foot down, or if I ignore a call, or I legitimately just have to say no, I am a horrible person. When I am mad at someone and defend myself, I am selfish, can't see the other side, delusional, or horrible. People have a tendency to want to make it our fault we feel angry for something they did, like it is our fault they were mean to me because they don't want to feel bad.
This happens so often that we just break. When we break, we blame ourselves, until we finally get so frustrated that we lash out... and make ourselves look nuts, because it all comes out at once! In the end we throw these truth bombs at people. We make people face themselves and then desert them for good. We feel horrible later, but we don't want to bother them. If it is really bad (they went completely against one of our core values) we effectively delete them from our history, like the INFJ "door slam", but we actually have told them we are slamming the door first and give them one last chance... how INFP of us... and then phone numbers, emails, gifts, pictures, letters, or anything that may remind us if them... gone...
Like I said... our dark side is complex and it rare. Thank you for reading.
Just want to say, as an INFP myself, that this is the best comment on the page, extremely insightful and I find it to personally resonate as my "true" dark side rather than what is discussed in Nathan's video, as good as it is. A video of its own could be made about what you said, really.
@@Wayward_Fox thank you so much. I appreciate the it!
I guess my dark side is the wandering, I always have a feeling I need to go somewhere whether it's emotionally or physically never quite seem to get there and while I don't feel it I can see why others think I might be wandering aimlessly. I also never feel satisfied and feel like I'm good enough if I'm not the best at something especially if it's something I'm good at or want to be good at. And even when I'm the best in the certain group I always know outside who is better than me and instead of having it as a fuel it actually brings me down.
I'm like that candidate you mentioned but more right leaning and traditional. I can accept when people disagree with me in a respectful way, but when you insult me for my values, it only gets worse for you. Imo, this is both a blessing yet a curse, because on one hand, I can stand up for my values, but on the other hand, sometimes I can't differentiate between respectful debate and personal attack.
As an INFP my dark side manifests itself, not only as depression, but also as imagining very macabre hypotheticals and letting the mind wander. Most people would probably think about the practical implications of twisted scenarios, whereas I often also think about how it would FEEL, both for me and others. This kind of imagination and curiosity expresses itself in art rather than reality, as an INFP wouldn't want those things to actually occur, usually.
Also, depending on how introverted they are, I think there is a strong potential for INFP's to emotionally manipulate, especially when they feel betrayed after having invested in someone so much themselves.
“Not all who wander are lost.”
A part of me acknowledge this well as a matter of fact but why do I still can't help feel being lost and that makes me lonely.
It’s the inferior Te, and it sucks. We know at heart that we are wanders and that we should enjoy the journey and explore new opportunities that resonate with us, but our Inferior Te (and tertiary Si, to an extent) means we strive for order and comfort and want some sort of plan, even though we tend to be terrible at making and sticking to them. It’s an awful contradiction within us, really.
As an INFP myself, I can deeply relate to the wanderer's concept. Seeing all my friends getting stable jobs are good and promising, but maybe that is not satisfying for an INFP. But that does not mean we do not long for destination/goal, it just simply means we don't like rigidity in life. And through all these years of soul-searching, I find that INFP can be a happier person by being a teacher, artist, writer or journalist.
sometimes, when my thoughts are a bit abstract, I need to read a lot of books so I can reference them to better describe to other people how I feel.
Here's what I think/what I've seen:
INFPs are very picky about who they spend time with, so when someone who they let in betrays them, when they're hurt by someone who they really love, they'll not only hate that person, but hate everyone else too, because they assume that no one else would've treated them any better than that person did. It's like an INFP's rage/pain is too deep to only be aimed towards one person...I think the sheer depth of an INFP's emotions is the scariest thing about them.
INFP's feel deeply so when they get broken, it hurts like hell cuz the knife cuts deeper than other people. So... if we get really broken, I believe we can become dangerous. As an INFP myself I know my anger is toxic and hurtfull. I can broke people hearts without even thinking, I just open my mouth and words come out so sharp. For example I never forgot about things that people said to me and broke my heart. I can make it slip at that moment, or cry it out but after years if I had fight with that person, I can remind the things that person said to me and how cruel they were so they had no rights to call me cruel. I can make a list of stupid shit they said. Like Im a person with weak memory but I never forgot the moments and people who broke me. Even tho I say I forgive them, deep down I still carry it all and one day when they piss me off, I just throw it all on em. This is my biggest weapon and I dont think its a bad thing tbh. You should remind people the stuff they said and take your apologizes... like I did. My villiain side is... if I dont like you, doesnt matter how much you care, love, try and support me, indeed I dont give a fuck. If you make one mistake against me, I put a line under your name in my head and play carefully.I trust people easily but if they break my trust, I yeet them out in a second. I made too many random friends and end those friendships without them realising. I guess rather than villains, we are more like 'its payback time bitch' We dont intend to take revenge but we take it anyway.
You have the most soothing voice.
Why thank you... ~ Nathan
I love the wanderer side of an INFP.
I remember loving a videogame called Shadow Of The Colossus, and in that game, the places where you could go we almost endless and diverse, but you had little to nothing ways to interact. Is was like a beautiful 3d picture with no people in it, but that's why I loved to explore that game. Sometimes I got bored but I'm still fond to those memories where you simply wandered un dome beautiful ruined castle, or in a dark green forest with a lake. Is just so beautiful to simply exist there. And escapism and daydreaming is a very common thing for us as INFP's.
And my personal dark side as INFP... is that I let myself be driven too much by my emotions and overthinking. I exagerate things because I just feel stuff greater and more personal than other people do. So I can become quite bitchy, and deffensive and passive agressive.
And continuing with the dark side of idealiID is that, either I'm neutral/lack of conviction or... I can develop a deep hidden desire for chaos. Like, is my dark belief that the only way we can open our eyes is by suffering.
Angie Carrizo omg I do this in minecraft. I just load a creative world, explore it and delete it. I rarely build anything, just explore. Also I don't play no mans sky because I'm scared I'll never come back to reality.
I’ve always wanted to play that game, it looked so cool. I love getting lost in the worlds of Zelda, Mario, or Kirby games. I also get lost in the worlds of music like Pink Floyd’s Animals album and can get really easily lost in future funk.
I am an INFP (an older one - almost 50) and when I was younger I was sooooooooo nice... an example of this is once I worked at a place where my co-worker was about to need a kidney as her kidneys were starting to fail. So I volunteered to get tested to see if I was a match for her. Luckily her sister ended up being a better match. The interesting thing about all of this is at the time I completely despised this co-worker. She was one of the nastiest humans I had ever met but at the time I felt compelled to go the extra mile for her due to my religious beliefs. Because of that type of extreme compassion I believe it eventually took it's toll on me and now I am dealing with seeing 95 percent of humanity as horrible. In other words I am now a very unhealthy INFP who is pretty reclusive and people avoidant. Hoping to eventually get back to feeling more positive about people. It is amazing how dark I have gone when I started off so nice lol...
Hi,Infp here..
I think our imagination and understanding are a blessing and a curse.
The way we see life it can seem really beautiful and maybe even fascinating,but also on the other hand way more darker and deep.
A few years ago i wandered from therapist to therapist thinking that i was a really depressed person or sth,because i couldn‘t figure out myself. Arguing of the meaning of the existence of life.Being overwhelmed by all the bad things on this planet and thinking of death as some kind of escape,because i wouldn‘t be able to help everyone when i couldn‘t even help myself.I also felt (like most infp) alien like,because i wouldn‘t do things the way everyone else does.Because i wouldn‘t dress the way everyone else did.The negative reactions came in conflict with my believes,authenticity and morals.I didn‘t care,because i liked being me,but at the same time the self doubt,loss of motivation to live and existential crisis became more and more.Overthinking with negative thoughts can end bad sometimes.
Abby S so, how are you now? Were you able to find a suitable therapist for you?
It's scary how I can care too much of other people but when I decided I don't care that set of peaple I can't care less if they hurt mentally and emotionally by me either.
i feel so lost all of the time because there arent any infps in my family, or people who understand me. i isolate constantly and i only feel happy with my friends:(
I will suggest that massive anger outbursts as a result of constantly bottling up and repressing stress and bs is our dark side
Am I the only one scared of the thoughts I have sometimes?
The scenarios I create in my head...
This world is far from ideal let alone healthy in some cases for this type and from the male experience in most parts it is rather brutal emotionally due to societal expectations.
@@annsmith936 True but can't shake the obvious that some types do fair better almost like ducks to water.
Love Who: "lmao infp's are idealistic"
Me, an INFP-T: "... pragmatism and adaptability are the key to survival."
I think, me, as an infp, I get super dark thinking about "what if I don't get to my dreams?". I wanna be a songwriter and singer, travel and see all the world. And I usually have my hopes up while i daydream about it but, when I think that I don't have enough time to do it or that I maybe never get there, i start thinking that nothing has sense if I don't do what I dream and BE WHERE I BELONG. I been fighting with it a LOT lately
Concise and insightful, as always
D H thank you!
The end of this video gave me the chills because you made me realise that quote in a completely different way.
On one hand, the way I first saw it, it was J.R.R. Tolkien saying that people who do bad things can make redemption.
Another way that I also saw it was that people who are suffering from mental illnesses are not lost and can make it out the other side themselves again.
But the way you phrased it, made me realise the most beautiful side and the way I relate to the most.
We are not lost just because we seem like we are hopelessly wandering. The whole point is to wander... and wonder.
This just makes me love the quote more because if it was intentional, Tolkien is known for playing on words to make multiple meanings so that's just wonderful.
Another quote I like is: "When people say that something I hope for is 'a fantasy,' I tell them, 'that only makes my dream for it to happen so much greater! And that's not so bad at all.'"
Ok so I'm two weeks late but I'm feeling like writing something about my experience with my dark side as an INFP, because putting my thoughts into written word helps making sense of them, and maybe someone will find them useful.
Being an idealist, when I look at something - that could be anything, an object, a system, whatever - I automatically see its potential to be better, greater, more efficient, more beautiful, to help more people, etcetera. So when I look at the world I can't help but comparing it to this ideal, potential, better version of it. Oftentimes, this ideal version is not only possible, but could be easily implemented if people could just stop for a moment and see that everything is preventing us from making things better is just an ensemble of social constructs that are not in any way eternal, natural or immutable.
This constant comparing can become unhealthy as the aux Ne is only used to find ways the world fails to meet the Fi ideal, to corroborate this "everything sucks" kind of attitude towards the external world, instead of using it to find ways to act in the world (with Te) and actually make it closer to the ideal.
I've spent a fair amount of time in this state, where I felt powerless to change anything, so I just wallowed in contempt and made myself (and the people who had to put up with my nonsense) miserable. It lead to a downward spiral to the point I couldn't see anything as worthy of my effort or attention anymore, except for music and drugs. Needless to say I isolated myself almost completely.
I think Fi can make it so that negative feelings become desirable and pleasurable in some twisted way, when positive feelings become unavailable because you don't let yourself experience them, because "everything sucks".
To snap out of it, I just had to see I was using my Ne in the wrong way, if I was using it at all. Studying the type theory really helped, as well as my family actually telling me to get my shit together, lol (I'm so lucky to have a supportive family. If only I knew back then).
Now I'm not immune to this kind of cognitive loops, but at least I can recognize them when they surface and avoid the downward spiraling.
So to sum it up I think a dark side of the INFP is they can become cynical, miserable jerks, wasting their life and pushing people away with their emotional martyrdom and holier-than-thou attitude.
"they are very out of touch with reality"
...felt that
Corbyn's inability to compete against unprincipled Boris is a very interesting analogy. I've abandoned projects in the past because the frustration and disappointment of dealing with people who couldn't or wouldn't share my idealistic view became too much. Learning to anticipate and prepare for this inevitable situation could be the single most challenging but beneficial skill an INFP can develop.
It was a fascinating election to watch indeed ~ Nathan
It's not anger that brings out the worst in me - it's boredom. I crave the feeling of something real. When trapped in a cage of social obligation and superficial routine I'd rather set the cage on fire if there is no other escape. I don't mind - love or hate or anger... as long as it's real I am satisfied.
If I'm tested or told off I feel like a shadow falls over my face and I can be just the most horrible person.
My Ne is expressed through rinsing people, generally it's all in good fun but it can also be used to really hurt people's feelings if I'm angry with that person.
When I was a kid, I cry a lot. It was troublesome, to be honest.
And I agree with the phrase, "All or Nothing." To me, everything must be either 100% or 0%. If I ain't feeling it, I ain't doing it.
And I realise my mind works differently from other people. It is such a hassle as I want to get closer to people, but at the same time I wanna push them away. Like bruh
The thing I hated the most is when I don't care. At that point, everything means nothing to me.
Sometimes it can get me into _serious_ trouble, while the other time it saves me, but rare.
Ah, and moral compasses. I have strong moral compass since I was a kid, so I never get swayed easily.
But it would be a lie if I say there wasn't a time where my "dont care" mode switch on, and everything else switch off, even my morals. Hence, resulting me in a very difficult situation once. Like when you realise a few moments, or hours, or days afterwards, "Ah, I made a mistake **inaudible screaming** "
Lol, just ranting cause I never felt more home than in this comment section. It feels like I wasn't meant to be here, but I am.
The dark side of INFP
*PAIN FROM NARUTO*
I would have to agree with this assessment to INFPs dark side. I am an INFP and I have very strong political and religious values. I felt you were describing me. I can be very uncompromising and unmoving on my beliefs. So yep that is me.
Ne : We need to move out..You've been on the same place for a long time
Si: But Why? I like it here
Ne: because I said so
I have the strongest urge to live an unproblematic simple life. Which is why for the most part I am able to keep my dark side at bay or completely hidden, because I'm well aware of the consequences of my actions most of the time.
Some of the bad tendencies i have is:
1. Finding out nothing matters or not being able to live or fit in normally and translating it to I don't matter, slowly inching towards self harm and su*cide. Something i definitely struggled with a lot.
2. Always have the tendency of manipulating people or lying or lying by omission to make people do what you want, mainly help them enable you or to steer them further away from you. It always starts out harmless, which is why i continued to think it was okay until it blew up in my face. Luckily I made the mistake when i was young and my parents caught me and taught me that it wasn't the right thing to do, no matter what my intention or how harmless my actions might have been. Its something I have to actively stop myself from doing.
3. I listen to a lot of people and I know exactly how to really hurt each one of them.....I will never do it because i like them and I do like to first find the best in people but I know enough to read someone to kick them where it hurts, which kind of astounds me sometimes.
4. I will sacrifice myself to prove a point, this happened when i was younger and i have learned to keep it under control. I was gaining weight, didn't have any energy, was sad all the time, was sleepy and lazy all the time. Finally my mom got sick of me and asked me what was wrong with me, to which i said nothing, which infuriated her and she was lecturing me about how fat and lazy i had become. My first instinct was to force myself to over eat and not do even the bare minimum of what i used to do. I obviously gained more weight, my mom lectured me about it again, and my response to that was to starve myself while i tried to do everything so she would stop. Needless to say, after a few fainting spells (i say few because i refused to go to the doctor) my mom drags me to the doctor and we find out i am malnourished and anemic. It took a while for my body to recover, I still sometimes face problems especially during my period. So yeah would not recommend.
I can relate to a lot of this. There is one thing you should know, though!!!
4) sounds like a valid reaction to childhood trauma or instable upbringing. And that has brain damage levels of impact. It can literally be your self-protecion kicking in really hard to prevent you brain damage (while backfiring due to the extensive time the state is upheld). It can be a result of conditions such a depression or depresive episides. It can be reactions to strong overwhelm and your needs not being met!
So that in particular is really sth. to look into for yourself. I can very hightly recommend "Mended Light" channel. Or to simply go look at what videos you can find on depression and emotional trauma / negligence etc. Especially children do not fall to their "dark sides" just like that. And you said it was a topic when you were younger. There are solid reasons why you behaved how you did! It is never too late to start looking into the reasons! And you do not have to do it alone either!
@@KxNOxUTA Yeah you're right, I was probably depressed during that time, I say probably because I did not get it diagnosed and I chose not to seek help, plus I'm no doctor so I can't be sure. One thing that made me realize that something was terribly off was self h*rm. I felt very numb then insanely sad that I just wanted to feel something else so I was inching towards cutting myself... To feel pain. I know it's stupid but it really freaked me out at the time and I felt that it was something I shouldn't start because I knew I wouldn't be able to stop.
So yeah, it was during that time I would sometimes forget or not do basic things like eating, sleeping, etc.
I'm more or less fine now, and now I'm more prepped to deal when I do feel that way again. I just expressed myself by talking with my family, friends, through my art, my diary, etc. The more I talked out the bad, the better I felt and then I just kept replacing the bad with the good.....
Thanks for conveying your concern, I'm doing pretty good now. ☺️
Not all who wonder are lost!!!! I love it! Thank you so much
Glad you enjoyed it! I love that quote a lot ~ Nathan
As an infp, i belive that in our not so good selves, we can seem cold, distant, aloof and detached which itself can hurt close loved ones a lot.
We also have a tendency to ghost and will walk out without a word and simply disappear into the abyss.
The thing is infps usually don't show their dark side because it takes a lot to push us at our threshold but once we are pushed. We are definitely capable of hurting someone so badly that they may never forgive us or fully get over it.
It's almost as if us being wired to be deep thinkers translates to the fact that though we can bring immense joy and deep loyal connection to a relationship we can also drag those we love into an abyss of darkness and push them into a blackhole forever.
It's actually way scarier than what other mbtis can imagine.
Exactly. I'm over 40y old and I learned to control my "dark side". I'm aware of all the bad I did, some weren't even mine, but I labeled them as mine. As you say, we can bring immense joy and deep, loyal to a fault connection, but once betrayed or let down, it's hard to ever go back to that 'innocent' stage, unless the person sincerely makes it obvious he or she made a mistake and will actually try to be better. It's kind of black or white thinking.
I'm at the stage of not hiding my emotions - when I'm sad others can see it. If close friends or family ask me I will say I'm sad. Being sad or vulnerable shouldn't be hidden. It's who we are. Further, sadness is a healthy emotion that can resolve things of the past when done in a healthy way.
The INFP struggle is real.
This made me smile because I’m an INFP who just earlier today quoted, “Not all who wander are lost.” And I also had that same quote as my header on Facebook for years.
I’m an INFP-T and my previous personality was an INFJ (can’t remember the last part. I was an INFJ in 2015)
I’m also Virgo ♍️ by the way so I am not too sure if my zodiac sign has anything to do with my personality type. 🧠 I also really love learning, especially anything related to Psychology, Science, and Philosophy. Math is my second favorite subject in school. I really like to draw and sometimes make RUclips videos. I also do comics too.
The part where you said of the sense of searching for something is so true. I never really feel like I know I should be searching most of the time as if I should have a stable sense to what I should do in my life for the next 10-15 years from now.
infp-t does correlate with my birth chart... Mine is Sagittarius Sun, Leo Moon, Gemini Rising, Aquarius dominant, Pisces midheaven, 8th House dominant (Scorpio's house) ... I easily get swayed with emotions 😭
same here! I was previously INFJ and now I'm INFP-T and also a virgo. jinx :')
You can’t love learning science that much if you still believe in astrological star signs.
The brightest light casts the darkest shadow
Tbh, i try to compromising. But I’m better at compromising with friends than someone i want to spend the rest of my life with. My partner is end goal, so i want to share my values with them, for example I’m vegan, and i will not compromise this in a relationship. So yes, i will say I’m a bit uncompromising, i will compromise small things but not big things.
As for the election guy, i understand when it comes to laws and control over a place, we can’t enforce our beliefs and values on others no matter how much we want things to be one way. What’s the point in being fluid when it comes to right or wrong, it means our values are fickle. However if our values can be bettered for humanity, i feel i would adapt to better ideas.
You always make me feel better about being an INFP, even my more troublesome traits.
I assume this is about Jeremy Corbyn and I don't know enough about him specifically to comment on whether he would change his positions given evidence of economic problems from his policies, but I will say that the evidence that the way capitalism operates now is creating huge problems like climate change and growing income inequality is right there in everyone's face right now. People who are supposedly sane and moderate *aren't* changing, so that seems like a hypocritical charge.
Whatever you think of someone who identifies as a socialist (and I don't myself, but I am very left-wing) at least they're acknowledging real issues in the current system. It strikes me as more idealistic to act like everything is fine because it's easier to do nothing. That being said, the real dark side of the INFP is that we can identify these problems so easily but rarely do anything directly to address them. So I can't argue with the second part of the video.
"the wandering is the point". That really resonated with me.
My dark side is that i care too much or I don't at all. I have been battling with feeling nothing and empty. The hard part is that I know that something is wrong with me but I don't do anything to solve it. I drown in this void and it has become an addiction. However, whenever I feel, I feel it with so much intensity that I explode and have a breakdown. Anger that I have built up will suddenly burst like a ballon and I would feel exhausted. I don't know if it's just me but life is tough for us INFPs.
yes, yes, yes. this is exactly how I feel. I know I am going somewhere. My path is not crystal clear, but I heavily rely on my internal values and beliefs to guide me at key points, and I am constantly intaking an abundant variety of external information to inform my trajectory. Also, I liked what you pointed out about, other types not feeling things as deeply, neglecting things, or devaluing it, it hurts but I have to remind myself not to take it personally when someone I care about doesn't feel as deeply about the same things, or even our relationship, as I do.
Also, the hermit. we can disappear for so long without anyone noticing its kinda scary. and we just cannot deal with anger, we become a fucking mess and I sometime scare myself with what I would be willing to do in the moment where I feel attacked. Our minds are scary as shit and you dont mean shit either when we are angry at you , really, dont , just dont.
facts
I’m like an amorphous infp blob. I can’t chose a career because I *identify* (and maybe conflate) my career with my life’s purpose, and that triggers my fear of commitment or fear of chosing incorrectly and then regretting it, as well as my constant need for more information before I decide anything as important as (dramatic voice) my life’s purpose. No pressure. If my career is to be my main body of work, my most time-consuming endeavor to improve whatever I’m trying to improve, then it should be work that most reflects my intentions, my focus, my authentic self. I am currently unemployed and concerned friends/family are like “just take any job”. I’m like “that’s unthinkable”. Maybe I sound like a brat but once hired *anywhere*, leaving is always awkward and takes a long time for me to do, even when the job I’m in is killing my will to live. So, when I look at “any job”, what I’m really wondering to myself is: for how long would I have to endure that hell of feeling like I’m wasting my time everyday and dying inside, all for introductory pay which means all that suffering and misery to still just be eating ramen? And how is that any kind of stepping stone to where I want to be? I’d rather society see me as a loser until I figure this out than sacrifice my ability to be happy so I can still fail to gain society’s approval at my low level job that I’m not passionate about, don’t care about, and frankly resent as a necessity of our system. So... author or hunter gatherer are the two winners right now and I don’t know which is harder.
So many cases happen with me when it's about helding idealism too much. Like trying to following rules but having "guerrilla" to held my principals.
About the last quote... I might be a bit lost as too much things I seek 😆. But keep wandering still better than just staying in one spot forever.
Well said! ~ Nathan
Yeah
All this time I thought I could read people and tell when they were lying because I’ve done it sometimes myself . I never realised that I have a natural skill at knowing
Good point on the principleness. I was told if you are in a car accident you have to report it to your insurance. That it was the law. So I do that, but it turns out that some people don't report it because reporting accidents to your insurance company increases your insurance premiums and the insurance company can even drop you from the policy. So like to be principalled and always do the right thing is admirable, but in the end you can get screwed. But I think that everything happens for a reason. Maybe by having your insurance dropped you were not able to drive that next month, but if you were able to drive you would have gotten in a terrible accident and died. Something like that.
TLDR: always do the right thing and even if "bad" things happen there may be a very good reason that "bad" thing happened.
Love it! ~ Nathan
That's the exact same philosophy I have! If something bad happens, it had to so that something worse wouldn't happen :)