Some others tips: 1. Be yourself. INFPs can sense when people are faking it, and we really appreciate authenticity. 2. Don't be pushy, but do try and make them do stuff they probably want to do but wouldn't do it because they don't have enough motivation or they're scared. If they end up enjoying it, they'll probably feel better around you later. But don't push them too hard if they resist! 3. Be serious. Most INFPs seek long term relationships, and we're more likely to date someone if we know they are serious about the relationship. 4. Show affection. If an INFP is not sure someone likes them, they might get insecure and pull away. 5. Be open minded. To anything.
As an INFP i love it when people tell me about their lives, what they love etc and i love encouraging them to talk abt it by asking more questions but I noticed that most ppl don't do the same for me. When they will be finished talking they will ask me abt something and then will link my response to their experience and will go on talking. That's why I sometimes know a hella lot details on someone while they barely know anything abt me because i don't like talking abt myself if nobody asked, i feel like they don't care. So to me, someone who is genuinely interested in getting to know me, what I love and is willing to hear me talking abt it without interrupting me is very attractive, and kind of rare haha
My experience with INFPs has been that they don't want to talk about themselves. It's like nailing pulling teeth to get them to share their feelings. You hi ta wall and they just don't engage. Sometimes we just feel like giving up trying when it never works to try to engage about y'all. Y'all need to be more aware of how much you resist doing it when people try to get to know you. Gotta meet in the middle somewhere.
@@hfortenberry yeah i totally understand, i feel like we open up only when we feel like the person is genuinely interested in getting to know us. Personnaly bc of that i get told that i'm mysterious but it is just that literaly i will only tell ppl abt my life if they ask for it and tbh they rarely do cause they are more used to ppl who talk abt themselves normally, without having to be asked for it which is so understandable. but I think that post infp really want deep down to have an authentic conversation with someone they can open up to freely and have the deepest conv with, we just don't find that person in everyone
As an INFP, I automatically shut down any sense of true affection for a person who is not willing to be vulnerable in conversation. If I quickly ascertain that a person wants to keep it “surface”, I know things have hit a dead end. That’s why we often start convos with people living on the street. We’re like “ooh! They probably want to talk about life’s struggles!”
@@louera I highly highly recommend it. I've had a few convos with people I've given money to on the streets who have told me about their lives. But recently I've been doing some voluntary work with homeless people and the stuff I've learned has changed my whole outlook on life. There is a LOT of wisdom to be shared and lessons to learn
I´m INTP and we are like this as well, we are quite similar in most things, if you are an emphatic INTP or a logical INFP there is no real way to distinguish each other.
Be pushy and it's over. Then we will complain when someone doesn't give us enough atenttion cause were annoying in that way but don't listen to that, it's a trap.
Clau What do you mean by “complaining when someone doesn’t give you enough attention and because you were annoying....don’t listen to that it’s a trap?” Is the complaining about not having enough attention trap? Or giving an infp enough attention is trapping? Couldn’t understand clearly but this seems interesting input
@@happyemoji6553 it's a trap in the sense that when you give us the attention we're complaining about not having, we will then go to the other extreme and think that's too much. (Basically we're never satisfied lol) Ofc don't take this THAT seriously, its just an exaggeration about how we can be.
Yeah we're indeed a contradiction. Getting us to like you is quite easy, but the hard part is to keep us. I would recommend something that may sound contradictory: be confident enough to be awkward. Being confident is not acting like you already have us under your sleeve, acting like you never loose, like you're always happy and cool. Being confident is acknowledging your own strenghts but also your weaknesses. So if you're shy, just act shy, we'll think it's adorable. If you're extroverted, act extroverted, we'll think it's attractive too. Don't fake it, we'll notice. Once I had this guy that liked me, and he was really awkward, and instead of acting like himself, he acted like a playboy. Like, he would grab me by the shoulders, he wouldn't take a no for answer and he would say he liked all the things I liked. So at last, he was uncomfortable, I was uncomfortable, everything was a huge failure. Don't be afraid to stutter, to dance terribly, to laugh awkwardly, we love authenticity.
100% told my INFJ SO that his confident awkwardness was what attracted me to him, because I knew that it was genuinely him (not fake) and I found it adorable. Anyone tries to put on a show or ACT super confident or flirty, I immediately don't trust them.
This is true, but I'd say also be confident enough to not be threatened by others, nothing turns me off more than shallow people. You can be awkward but if you're not genuinely kind and open-minded, I'm not interested
You want to be with an INFP? Really, were hopeless romantics! Just be yourself and do it the most natural way such as being friends with us! And we will see more of you and we'll eventually be in love!
Yes I tend to like people I think I can be friends with and the people i stay hooked on are those I seem to have mixed friendly - romantic attraction feelings for. That and being confident and trusting enough to be vulnerable with me - to share why your hurting, why your struggling, what you love, what you value it can be in small ways but it builds connection and attraction for me.
Another great video. I can completely agree that INFPs are very hard to seduce. Becsuse of their innocent, dreamy and cute stereotype, many people may think they can easily manipulate and seduce them, but that's not true at all. They have a strong sense of morality and a belief system that stores all of the "right"s and "wrong"s for them. Just like INTPs, who are said to have a logical framework and an inner system for everything, INFPs have an ethical framework for everything because of their Fi/Ne. So you can't easily convince them to do something that they don't like or -god forbid- something that is contrary to their beliefs.
I agree with this but then one thing I don't understand is why an INFP would cheat on her husband. I am a lesbian/friend and she fell for me and pursued me and we eventually had an affair. Because she is into authenticity, I assumed it meant she was secretly gay and wanted to be with me so I fell for her too. Then she decided to stay married and I broke off the affair (a few years into it). But she still tries to keep me in her life. I told her it is wrong and hurtful to her husband to keep me in her life so I rarely spend any time with her anymore. But she doesn't seem to care about him, or have a value that cheating is wrong. She doesn't seem to feel guilty about our affair. What is THAT about? I thought INFPs were supposed to be values-driven. I thought she did it because it was based off something important in her values. But I guess she was just experimenting??? Like being a zen monk one week, a hippy the next or a lesbian the next??? How could a person screw around with the hearts of others so casually like that? Doesn't seem very caring to me at all. If INFPs are so values-driven, how can she be so insensitive to his feelings or their marriage vows???
holy shit, i feel attacked lol yeah, when infps talk -- and like really talk - don't try to counter us with too much logic. we know that we talk like a crazy person especially when it's about the things we love, and we know that we can be incomprehensible (that sometimes we don't even know what tf we're talking about), but give us the moment and just listen. our mind is a rollercoaster that goes up so high and so low, and you just gotta enjoy the ride with us even for a while.
Yes!! I divorced my ENTJ husband because of this. He would get exasperated when I would get to talking, and said near the end of our relationship that trying to follow my train of thought was exhausting. He kept waiting for me to “get to the point so I can get on with my day.” I was like “Why are you even with me.” It felt awful! Especially when my coworker said the opposite, that he loves talking with me because he never knows where it will lead but loves the ride, it’s always happy and oftentimes surprisingly wise, giving him revelations of his own so we can bounce back and forth off each other forever. Such a difference! 💗
Also, if I may add something, be yourself! I'm personally attracted by authenticity. People being unapologetically themselves without fear of what others may think really spark my interest, and I'm positive it may be the same for other INFPs.
I totally agree, as an infp! I absolutely love it when someone can be open and themselves around me. That's how my gf 'seduced' me I think :p by just being herself.
Question. Do u guys hate logic and practical realities plainly presented to you? Am an Istp and i tend to do that, of course i understand the emotional situation of it and care about the people /situation being discussed but i also believe that unless it's talked about in its actuality the problem won't resolve it'll jst be a circle of acceptance and brushing aside the actual problem. I haven't had good experience with Infps in my life XD lol.
@@mussabsaleem7625 I can only speak for myself, ofcourse, but I do think logic and practical solutions (and may I add: facts?) are of value in problem-solving, even when it involves people. As you already suggest: the right way lays somewhere in the middle between taking others' feelings into concideration and looking at the facts plainly and logically. As an INFP, I can honestly say not to hate logic. But it isn't my natural way of thinking. It requires some effort to enter a logical 'modus'. The same goes for facts, seeing reality plainly as it is: I tend to see the big picture, to see more general connections and universals. This makes it more difficult to focus on concrete facts, which I also tend to find boring. So when presented with a practical, logical point of view, it does feel uncomfortable. Why? Because it confronts me with things I'm not as good at - facts and logic. And it takes some effort. This can feel extremely overwhelming, especially if I don't trust the person providing the logical approach. Also, INFP quite like feeling comfortable. The truth often isn't comfortable. So that also causes me to shiver when presented with facts and logic. Personally, I have learned to welcome people who think logical and practical, because they bring something to the table I'm not that good at. At least listening to them, hearing them out, taking time to let their words seep in, has increased the quality of my life. By the way, my best friend is an ISTP! ;) I learned a lot from him! Anyways, I hope this makes sense to you and helps you answer the question. :) And also, I hope this provides a better experience with an INFP, for a change. ^^ Take care!
@@mieralunarlunishion First of all thanks for this awesome reply, i read it 2-3 times so hopefully i got the proper grasp of what you said. Personally what would you say is the middle ground between logic and emotional need. Hmm e.g if some1 is say feeling low/unaccomplished but it is partly their own fault, then how would you tackle that situation? ._. Dun worry this ain't a test or anything i jst want a perspective. So chillax and answer :P.
@Mussab Saleem Hi! I believe it really depends on the person and the situation. Personally, I can't say I hate logic. It's just not really my favorite way to solve problems. When solving a practical problem, first I look at the general situation and rule out every possible solution that isn't in line with my values/principles. Then I brainstorm until a feasible solution comes to mind. If that doesn't work, I resort to Si and Te to systematically analyze the problem and come up with a step by step solution. That's my least favorite way to go though, because it's energetically demanding. I actually like it when people point at some practical realities I may have overlooked, because it saves me from doing the detail work that I know is important but is so tiring and boring to me. The only thing I'd never accept is a logic solution that goes against my principles.
Idk if this resonates with other INFPs but the idea of being seduced by someone because they studied what you like is really manipulative and disingenuous
I am probably not an INFP, but no one enjoys being played. I assume, that he meant that it feels nice to meet someone who actually really cares about who you are as a person. Not that I believe that, to be a trait, that only certain types prefer. 💁♀️
I don't think he meant it that way. At least, that's not how I interpreted it. As an INFP, I find it really flattering when people remember small details about me, like things I told them I like, and bring it up in a conversation. I feel seen and heard. But then again, if I don't already appreciate the person, I might find it creepy or annoying. Yeah, pretty contradictory
너의 목소리가 좋아요 i agree, i rarely if ever have someone that remembers stuff i tell them that i like and things that interest me, so id be so flattered! haha of course unless he is just creepy but then i could just not talk to them if i wanted to and their vibes were off so i dont see a problem
We INFPs value respect, individuality, and authenticity over all things. Be all three, and you are off to a very good start. If you want some sort of relationship with an INFP, be it friendship or a romantic relationship, they would have utmost respect for your courage if you come out and say that right off the bat. As hopeless romantics, we always watch certain people from afar, imagining ourselves having friendships or relationships with them, and to hear that someone feels that way about us would be the most flattering of honors.
As an INFP I’m usually the one listening. Well, usually.. is actually and understatement, probably. I think. I’ll admit though, it’s my fault- I ask the questions, get the other person talking, and then contently listen. It would be very strange having it flipped over- being the one who’s talking and not listening for once. I’m afraid of getting into what I’m passionate about, because I’m aware that I’ll talk too fast for too long and just make the person I’m talking to confused- Everything I’d say would be like one run-on sentence. Which is why I like being the one who listens. Everyone deserves an open, unbiased ear, that’ll listen and at least try to understand. Two sides to every story. Or y’know, someone who’ll just laugh with you on a nice sunny day about the tug of war that turned into a beautiful, chaotic- I’m gonna stop myself there. I’ve already typed maybe- what, three paragraphs? > - < There’s a lot I don’t say. I should make a book so that way I don’t murder someone’s ears. Thinking of books, I wonder how my other friend is doing on her book. I should go check up on her and maybe send her some disgustingly positive gifs, I don’t want her to give up and all that. Yeah I’m gonna go do that. Bye random stranger that decided to read this mini essay of a comment for some unknown reason.
Doesn’t like to be controlled. Do not tell them how they solve they’re problems especially if they didn’t ask. Inspiring me is seductive. Figure out what i like first or care about without judgemental Behaviours or critiquing. Spiritual thinking sounding crazy to others? Hmmmmm sounds like someone i know 👀👀
@@lovewho tbh, i know not all INFP’s are the same. Trust me I’ve met one and honestly we sorts don’t act like one another, only common thing is we want justice and peace in the world. However, if truly at our core we are the same. The best way to seduce is actually not to seduce. The need to try in itself is inauthentic, i can smell an actor miles away. I don’t want to seem like a project where the end of your kindness is only running due to your mission to get me with you. Often i would imagine, we would want a friendship first, someone not looking to want us in a relationship just because they are enamoured by us. Countless of times I’ve become turned off when it takes 1 day or 1 week for someone to say they have feelings for me. The best way to seduce is to be innocent, not over sexualizing a moment. Tell us your deep stories, your insecurities, your pain and how you look at life today as you’ve grown from them. Share your feelings and have genuine interest in ours without the desperate look to take us home. The reason being is, true nature at the beginning shows true nature that is permanent. Falsifying who you are to be flirtatious, a seducer, will at end run it’s course. We aren’t interested in an expiration date of you are, we want to know NOW if we are worth the time we spend with each other. I use the term ‘we’ or ‘us’ loosely, as i said, not all INFP’s need the same treatment, we all were brought up differently. But strictly speaking of me, this is how i like it. Take an example of Jack and Rose, he showed her his side of things and never shy’d away from bringing her to his world, he had keen interest in rose and didn’t belittle her class. In the end, it’s actually her that initiated sleeping with him, he would probably go along a very long time not initiating it. That’s what we like, the innocence and the friend that one day we are so attracted to, the one that gives us life even beyond the spectrum of the bedroom. Hope this helps? 🤷♀️
Also please feel free to check out our Discord server, we have lots of INFPs on there and I think that they might benefit from hearing many of the things you have to say. If it’s complicated to use when you go on there then feel free to DM me on there - the link for the Discord server is in the description of most of the videos. ~ Nathan
@@lovewho Thank you for your reply, also, i joined haha it wasnt too complicated! Unless i did something wrong that i think is right haha then im screwed!
@Unwrittenfall I agree with you, as an infp sometimes we can sense people intention or we don't at same time we like mysterious cat living in human body🤣
I have this image in my head how should my ideal relationship be like because I want to have a meaningful relationship. In general I feel like INFPs just want someone who will accept them and not to try to change them
I've always had problems recognizing when someone is changing me, and normally I notice when it's easy too late, and that's why I stopped dating for a few years cause I had to set my standards and I had to start putting everyone on this pedestal, even just for normal relationships, and now I've found myself the best relationship I've ever been in, AND she's an ENFP, and as an ambivert that sides more with introversion I've always needed a woman that can help me be more social and helps keeps my "social meter" up
I'm an INFP, but sometimes I fall into having two personas. The "polite" persona that is more mainstream and boring but gets me by on the day to day, and the "true" persona where I can just be my weird, quirky self. The second persona only comes out when I feel comfortable with someone and/or I'm testing someone to try to see if we we're really compatible or not. My favorite thing is when someone unexpectedly cuts through my boring persona by being so uniquely themselves I get caught off guard and feel almost ashamed of myself for not doing the same. I feel kind of called out, but it's such a refreshing surprise. It makes me instantly want to get to know them better because I feel I've found a kindred spirit. Like I've finally found a "safehouse" in the vast ocean of normies. Lol Another way to get an INFP interested is to just show you have some kind of hidden depth that most ppl don't see. It creates a sense of mystery and we can always appreciate someone who has more going on than they seem. This can be a hobby, or unique interest, or artistic ability, talent, skill, whatever. We tend to find people who are really interested in something, really interesting.
As an INFP for me if someone started to "like" things i value to get on my good side I would not like that. And i would be able to tell eventually. So if you like what i like naturally and happen to have the same deeper life values or similar ones. Great. Now we are at least friends. What many dont seem to understand though, and this is an important point, is that i dont care if you like the same music as me for example or even music in general, even though i love music, as long as you have something in your life you are equally unapologetically passionate and care deeply about. And if you then have similar deeper life values too. Well then my heart is open for you.
(INFP) Also, I think someone being up front about not being interested in [insert subject], but they're interested in me enough to be intrigued by what I like is very impactful (risky too, but sincerity is the only way to go).
could not have said it better. we like discovering new things so you , having your own little world full of different music and tv shows etc is far more interesting for us because that way we deepen our own taste and feel like we really got to know you. though I cannot stand if someone makes fun of me for the things I like so at least find it endearing that I watch conspiracy theories on p&j sandwiches at 3 in the morning.
I am an INFP too and I definitely like it when someone wants to learn about me and actually listen and ask questions. People often want to talk about themselves, which is actually fine with me because I enjoy listening and learning about people and I don't mind it, but if they really want to make an impression then they will actually ask ME questions and get to know me, because I won't offer information or reveal my life story without them asking me. I need information to be pulled out of me a bit and I appreciate when someone is willing to take the time and effort to do that! :) I also definitely like to take my time and take things at my own pace. I HATE being pressured to do anything and it will literally make me shut down! I did my own post on this same topic :)
I understand what you say... Every guy that I meet really likes talking about himself and doesn't ask me back questions about me, they think the conversation is more like a competition or something in which I have to basically fight to have a space. If I say I like the color blue I like to be asked why that color attracks me, not that you prefer yellow. I genuinely feel insterested in knowing about the person I'm talking to... but when it's not balanced and only I am the listener or I really have to fight to talk about me, I'm not interested anymore. Quarantine time does not help at all because it's hard to keep conversations alive not having any hope to actually meet the person.
“There is quite a lot of wisdom in the things they say, just not packaged as you normally expect” this.. is so accurate. What can I say, we’re a ball of unorthodox :3
Yes this was also my favorite part. As INFPs our brain is wired to reason in feelings which tend to translate into images before they become words. That means we tend to talk in everyday life like people write in poems, finding metaphors and similes and other such abstract comparisons more easy to use than plain words.
@@reveriedreamshade5669 ah yes, I once started talking about sponges to say that I needed to recharge... It was complicated but me and the other person found a way to understand each other
@Ícaro Monteiro Barros like you grab a sponge, and you put it on a bowl of water. It gets to the point where the sponge can't absorb any more water because it's full.
As an INFP, I'm very much a sapiosexual and I assume other INFPs are attracted to intellect as well. Talk theories and philosophy with us and watch us melt (;
As an INFP-T, I feel like I have to say this. When you get us to talk about deep things like values, beliefs, philosophies etc., act engaged in the conversation. I don't know if this is true for everyone, but when I start talking about things that are important to me, I won't shut up, but I constantly look at the other person's body language to see if they're actually interested in the conversation. And I constantly ask them if they're interested because I've been shut down and not listened to too many times before. So if you find yourself in this situation with an INFP, actively show your interest and add tiny comments here and there, but don't interrupt them and start linking what they're saying to your own views and experiences. Let them talk, encourage them, be engaged and they'll deeply appreciate you for it.
INTP here, and INFPs actually are the easiest types for me to get close to. The only difficult part is the very beginning where they don't say much. Honestly I don't know what advice I'd give for other types, but if you're an INTP, then literally just be yourself. Throw around some sarcasm, be relaxing to be around, and talk about the topics of the world and the people in it that naturally interest you. If you can manage to be a little witty, stress-free, and sometimes insightful, you'll find that they'll even be happy to talk to you during their alone time, which is a pretty big deal i think. Be aware, they can get a little emotional at times. And i often have to yell at them for trying to care about me at the expense of caring about themselves lol. But other than that, they're actually pretty awesome
Very interesting! My sister is an INFP and the two of us recently met a pleasant INTP person. He does exactly what you list, (presenting himself). I analyzed the two and see the effortlessly quick level of compatibility. This is a good description :)
I agree! It's so nice to hear that you're able to get along with the INFPs in your life, and that it hasn't been as hard to understand them as people think! My dad recently discovered he's an INTP, which explains why we get along so well! He might not be into what I'm into, but he's also quiet, authentic, and always seems like he's genuinely interested in whatever my siblings or I have to say! (He can also be goofy and has a snappy sense of humor that comes out of nowhere, which I appreciate!) I also wouldn't expect it, but I've been finding we both secretly love traveling and wandering to new places just for something new in our lives--even though we seem like such homebodies!😂
Intps are one of the few personalitie types I have found very comfortable to be around and because their accepting nature its easy to be myself. Also very good listeners and brutaly honest with sarcastic sense of humour
Kind of hard to keep up with INFP's? Heck yeah, I can barely keep up with myself. It can be frustrating when i see the path behind me strewn with unfinished projects, books and the like. I look back at myself and I see how I'm such a different person then I was then so I can't go back to it unless I'm ready. Sometimes I become so obsessed with a subject that i become lost in it and it can be a few weeks. months or years before I come up for air. I realize to all my family and friends I seem crazy but I have also been told that I am perceptive and so reflective.
I'm the same. For weeks I obsess over some subject and do a research on it like I'm doing a phD on that subject lol. I get completely lost and if I tell anyone about it they look at me like I'm crazy. So I just keep my obsessions hidden. And it passes and I'm on to another thing. I also have unfinished books that bother me a lot, but I also don't want to finish reading them because I'm no longer interested in that. Our personality can be annoying sometimes, but we have to accept ourselves and accept that some things don't have to be finished and that it's ok not to be interested in something anymore.
L 2198 same, I'm well aware that I can be annoying with my obsessions. I could fall for anyone who thought my behaviour was endearing or simply thought it was okay for me to just be myself and left me to it😂
You're partially correct, INTJ here. One has to find, ask, questions the might get them talking. Even though you might fear abject rejection, they will appreciate your pathetic efforts. Attention spans vary.
Also, even if an INFP may like you since the beginning, they may prefer to be a close friend to you first before they start trying for a relationship. So try to be patient because in any moment we may start being more flirty once we know you!
The last sentence was so beautiful. Thank you! I have quiet a lot ENTPs and INTPs around me in the last months and I (as an INFP) find it very hard to find the right words to make them understand my theories. We often have the same opinion but my words were always more spiritual, even if I thought of these things in a scientistic way. But now while writing it down it could also be a good lesson to learn how to pronounce crazy ideas and thoughts in a more „down to earth“ kind of way 😄
Attempt to first teach them that you can see that you align and your struggle to word what isn't even meant to word, since intuition and feeling do THE SAME THINGS they do in terms of research, but through different channels! Why (if not for the terribly slanted off-balance in society) should you be the only one learning their language? No! They need to put work into speaking your language! If they need encouragement: "Make my language style your next project. I'm a dolphin. We do things yoi can't dream of. Don't be stupid, disregarding me just because you haven't figured out yet what channels I'm using. If you wanna learn why dolphins manage crazy things, you study and get to understand THEM first, not exclusively demand thex first learn your language." 😀 No, we're not under the obligation to be their translator and research handing in the answers to the researchers. If tgey don't care, they're not worth the energy and may leave!
i think its because INFP is considered the most feminine of MBTI types plus throw in the stereotype emo crybaby snowflake and its hard. As I said to a female friend once "women would rather date a good looking sociopath (and worse) than a nice guy"
I'm an INFP who "looks" like an ENFP, so people think I have crushes on everyone. I tend to compliment people a lot (genuine compliments), because I want them to feel loved and appreciated. But honestly, I have fallen in love just once (I'm in my 30's) with an INTJ and that's it. I really like INTJs, because we share similarities, but they also have traits I don't. Especifically, I fell in love with this INTJ because he's kind, non-ambitious, self-sufficient, a loner (I don't like extroverted people), extremely calm and analytical, and well, he's an adult (I'm very child-like unfortunately).
Nora Flood It took me 11 years to forget about that INTJ, he never loved me. INFJs are a better match. Now I’m in a relationship with an INFJ, he’s my soulmate, unfortunately, it’s a forbidden love... but I had never been so happy.
@@svenskbonbon if you're in some sort of a 'relationship' with him already it's not quite so 'forbidden'! :) I think INFPs are a source of love: it's wonderful you've found this happiness and you can keep it with you forever and bless other people in your life with it :) I've personally never been able to bond so much with INFJs. I don't ever seem to 'notice' them to begin with. If I get the chance to know them later on, I sometimes find them wonderful - but just too 'proper'. But I guess my 'P' factor is quite high and I tend to be 'all-over-the-place' which may put them off. I find I frighten the INFJs a bit too much (and feel judged in return - even if in truth they are more often just fascinated) whereas the INTJs don't have the 'recoil' reaction in them - which makes me feel at ease (and like a child a bit sometimes too tbh). Like you, I really admire their 'loner', sometimes quite high-minded aspect. But maybe that says something about us and our childhoods? - and the way we end up falling in love with 'unavailable' people :S Fresh into my 30s now: I'm ready to leave the two INTJ-boys behind (7 years flew by in depression!) and spread my Fi-love to the world ;)
Good video. I'm married to an INFP. The advice to give practical help in a subtle and slow way is spot on. I would also say in my experience, it is consistent physical expressions they value - whether it be smiles, hug, and the like - that make you part of their future plans.
@@NathanJGlass Tested INFJ for years. And although I don't subscribe to the typical for that type, the order of those functions is what I identify with.
John_Dee14 Holy hell yes! Cuddles win over an INFP so quickly! Of course, you’ve gotta reach that stage of the relationship, but genuine physical affection is their kryptonite.
@@zain4019 thanks for that info I pray no INFP predator see THIS and I know as an INFP what to watch out for in terms of physical boundaries. God is good 🙏🏼
@@AutoAlchemy oh, once you get your notes back, good luck for you in the journey of seducing your special INFP :) or maybe you are like me, someone who watch these type of videos 'cause you don't see very much of them talking about how to be friend with some mostly likely quiet people if u are a quiet shy people too, so you sincerely just approach her/him. The two of you say "hi" to each other and there's the awkward silence, since you don't know if they would like a cool and yet strange greeting to break the ice or a deep conversation about feelings, fears and the small and unnoticed joys of the oftentimes boring routine with a newly acquaintance, seeing that both of you sucks on normal small talk about the weather. So you just smile to the person, nod, and you walk away in opposites directions. I would relax, and then think in the coziness of my bed: oh sh*t, i screwed everything up When i am trying to make friends now in highschool, I keep thinking if talk about how hard is to approach one and keep a small talk is a good subject for a small talk. *ah*, this was Just to wish you good luck, so good luck :) i was carried away
Thank you for this. As an INTP, I have done hours and hours of internet research on which personality type I would wanna date and concluded that I would like to pursue an INFP
I'm INFP and my bf (of 3.5 years) is ESTP. We're almost completely opposite and have very different interests and points of view. On paper, we don't really make sense. BUT what really attracted me to him was A) he took an interest in what I had to say and B) he was very different from other people I knew (so new and exciting!) and C) he was always genuine. What has kept us together is firm belief in our religion, growing similar interests together, and pushing each other out of our comfort zones. And maybe most importantly, humor. Just some insight on a real-life INFP :)
I'm an Infp, and I actually laughed with recognition. (Especially about the getting them to shut up) :p I think, in general, if you want to attract interest of an infp (be it romantic, be it in friendship): just show genuine interest, give honest compliments (but not too many!) or express your heart-felt appreciation for the words, art, help or even just company the infp has given you. About the helping part: I can't speak for other infp's, but I wouldn't like it at all if you just bursted into my life and tried to fix my problems. My problems are mine and yours are yours. But if you made yourself available, and you are open and genuine about it, then I would appreciate that a lot. :) In general, just be you. Don't play games or wear masks. Infp tend to not like that (I know I don't).
I love hearing you talk about INFPs. Out of everybody I've listened to, you seem to understand the most. If you want to seduce an INFP get to know their values and get them talking on a deeper level. 100% spot on 👌
@@lovewho they are right. You are one of only two who really seems to GET us. In fact, your content helped me realize I am an INFP. I was mistyped and really didn’t fit with some of the stereotypes.
As an INFP the “you’ll have a hard time getting them to shut up thing” made me crack up. I don’t talk a lot but when I’m with someone close talking about something I love I’m aware I speak lightening fast and don’t shut up. I’ve had bad experiences with friends in the past who took this for a bad attribute in me- specifically a best friend who often out right told me to shut up whenever I spoke or tried to get involved in a conversation. This has left me with a fear of talking about the things that I like in case I come across as rude or pepple aren’t interested which makes it very hard for me to connect with people. I don’t have any close friends- but the last person I dated I clicked with instantly because of how open minded he was and the fact that he genuinely listened when I went on and on about my interests- he’d even ask what happened the characters in books I’d passionately mentioned before and try his best to remember all the names, and although he wasn’t much of a reader himself he tried watching some of the shows I had mentioned and they became common interests for us. On the other hand, many people have tried to get close to me by pretending to be interested in things I am interested in and not really listening or contributing to the conversation - in particular I’m aware that a friend likes me, he is very open about the fact, but it’s impossible for us to have interesting conversations since he will just nod in agreement with everything I say and offer little commentary or ask questions that’ll make me speak more, which leads me to believe he’s not really interested in anything I have to say.
Infp here and yeah getting pushed around sucks I would rather die. Infp's value the understanding of people and how they work which is why they usually end up in field like psychology or literature. They can read people easy and because of how easy they find it they'll make sure no one else can read them. They're the dumping ground for other people's problems and never show their own emotions. We are very experimental with absaloutley everything unless it goes against our core values which infp's have a lot of without noticing. They love being at the beach and pretty landscapes as nature is proven to make them happier and they hate being suffocated so if you push them around and are always around them they are going to want to kill you.
I'm infp and I'm clingy, I like clingy people if they are already close to me, but if it's someone I'm not close to it makes me really uncomfortable. But it could also be just my social anxiety.
I think the manipulation that clingy people often use is what is unattractive. I'm fine with honest neediness because I'm that way myself. I'm honest about my needs and I expect my partner to be honest too
I’m an INFP and clingy people scare me because while I am a very caring person, I have a strong innate need for space, freedom and flexibility, and can be very indecisive . I know I’ll only end up hurting a clingy person and leaving them feeling messed around because our needs and personalities are so different. I don’t like to feel pinned down, and a clingy person is the very opposite. So if clinginess is there, I’m gone from the offset!
As to what I am attracted to, it is definitely people who can be present with me. People who are distracted by phones or seem distant, it bothers me so much. If I like someone I will put all my energy in being present with them. I definitely don't like it when people are critical towards me, unkind towards others, or immature/disrespectful. I also appreciate open and honest communication. Like you can pour out your soul in our first date and I won't mind at all. Also I probably will fall head over heels for someone that gets excited about our future plans. Like I think introverted sensing and extraverted intuition I will think up new ideas for dates that come from experiences I had in the past and I will just throw it out there. Would you want to take a boat out on the lake and watch the sunset? Would you want to go to Disney World with me? I always dreamed of having my Honeymoon in Hawaii would you want to go to Hawaii? Lol! So like being able to share my desires and hopes and dreams and have them be all on board, that would be amazing.
Am I the only INFP who thinks aloud? Every time I read something I have to mumble it to myself so that I absorb the information because if I don't I'll go off track. Completely off topic, but I'm just wondering.
Omg so I am not the only "mental health facility escapee" seeming INFP who always speaks out their thoughts when alone at home XD I feel I can get my thoughts clearer by doing that
Dude I have the same problem 😭😭😂 that's why any tests with exsessive amounts of reading I do poorly on cause I can't focus on it cause I'm not actually interested in it
I don't think aloud all the time but there are plenty of moments where the thoughts and voices inside my head become so violent and loud that I actually have to verbally tell my brain to shut up (mostly just mumble it though so no one would hear) 😂
as an INFP i feel like really really deep conversations about emotional and dark things are what draw most of my attention to another person. there also HAS to be a unique connection i feel to them
I'm an INFP and my boyfriend is an INTP. We both agree this was positively spot on in many regards. I did have one addendum to make regarding the spiritual/conspiracy nonsense so many INFPs get involved in. You articulated in a previous video that some INFPs do not believe that insight can come from institutions/establishments. For me insight comes equally from the rational, intentional decisions people make as well as their irrational, subconscious, emotionally-motivated behaviors. Since human beings are capable of being irrational it stands that being irrational is a fundamental part of the human experience regardless of if some humans try to transcend it. A philosophical examination of life is incomplete without assessing and studying the taboo, hidden, and reviled. Insight comes just as much from what we cannot measure as it does from what we can. Here is an example: If you as a student complete a course in Calculus you come away from it with the understanding that Calculus has certain rules and laws which can never be violated. But a course in the History of Math shows that these rules in fact are not static and change over time: Calculus is a (relatively) recent invention, one that Newton and Leibniz argued with each other over and engaged in an academic debate about. The curriculum--the "establishment"--at one point was in a state of flux, even if the rules that curriculum proclaims are taught today as if they have always been universal truths. And yet, this does not invalidate the basic laws and forumla of Calculus in any way. Newton and Leibniz's Derivatives and Integrals were always proveable: the means to prove them had simply not yet been invented. Likewise, I think the best way to seduce an INFP is to recognize that insight can come from unexpected places and to demonstrate one such example from your own life.
As an INFP I can say that everything in this video is so correct. Especially the part where people can't make the conversation flowing. I always have a feeling that people don't know what to ask me and the whole conversation seems kinda unnatural. I think that's why I like the most people with strong Fe. You don't get that weird feelings with them.
Haha I'm an INFP and this was on-point...the things I always fall for... 1. Having a compatible set of values (if you're flashy and materialistic it's an automatic no) 2. Having a very playful side, the world often feels overwhelmingly negative so I like a bit of childish escapism 3. Indulge me in the random new things I've been researching (currently cults, ex-mormons and Myers Briggs...no idea what it'll be next week!) 4. Be affectionate 5. Be up for adventures 6. Think about your actions and be critical, never do things because society says so...I don't like sheep 7. And finally...help me with my chores, heaven knows I hate washing up, there is nothing more odious than repetitive, meaningless tasks!
"downloading all of this data" i loved the expression! for me it's very hard to talk freely about myself when meeting someone at the beginning so it's easy if they ask about my "data" with no judgement and so then i can start to be more flexible in the conversation, once i feel i'll be respected and not judged.
Another thing is I will say, even if an INFP seems like a happy ray of sunshine to you, don’t assume they are naive, stupid, innocent, unable to understand dark emotions, etc. We’re complex people who deal with life’s struggles just like anyone else, and just because we’re quiet doesn’t mean we don’t have a level of chaos to us. Another thing is that since I value authenticity when interacting with other people, I tend to struggle socializing in environments like retail where you can’t appear stressed in front of customers, and there’s a hierarchy and power dynamics between people working together. I’m pretty bad at thinking of what to say that isn’t just. The truth of how I feel. So I often choose to say nothing when I can. If you want to seduce/befriend an INFP, try doing so in an environment where there’s no external pressure to behave an inauthentic way. Edit: also literally the greatest gift to me is when people choose to watch, on their own, a show that I really like. Then I can talk about the characters with them knowing they understand what I’m talking about.
In my experience as an INTP, INFPs've never been a type I've thought to seduce-rather I get them sometimes expressing interest in me on their own. And while I do find 'em kinda cute & endearing, I don't think we'd work out all that well in the long haul as more than close friends-but they actually seem pretty cool w/ that, & don't continue to press for more & test boundaries like other types.
Honestly I'm surprised my INTP husband even fell for me since I just annoyed him with my personal problems and didn't really listen to his advice. Lmao. But we're definitely bestfriends as much as we are a couple! And surprisingly we don't get sick of each other often. We're very good at giving each other space, which is needed since we work two jobs together and see each other all the time at home, haha.
it’s an INFP trait to give people their space. Regarding INTPs, I get along pretty well with them. Some are too rambly for my liking, some are extremely fun to be around and sarcastic as hell
As an INFP, I just love it when my partner links my life decisions and my thoughts and outlooks to my personality type. It makes me feel understood. The fact that they've gone out of their way to understand why I've made the decisions that I have is priceless.
Yeah I have a deep admiration for people who can think analytically and make logical decisions. Like this guy today was talking about all the reasons he wanted to be an ICU nurse and why it made sense. For me it can be hard to make important life decisions, I have to think about what I like from previous experiences, which can be hard to sort through, and even then my extraverted intuition is still open to new information that can change my perspective/life plans. So yeah whenever someone just lays it out of why a certain thing is better, and they are someone whom I trust, and it is something I wish to learn about, then I am glued to what they say because I can apply it to my life. Of course it has to resonate with me too. -INFP
I really like the way you phrased that closing remark - "You'll often find that there is quite a lot of wisdom in the things they say. It's often just not packaged in the way you would normally expect." I feel that.
Personally, I sometimes talk alot about myself because the person I'm talking to makes me feel comfortable and I don't get this chance much but once I realized that I had been talking alot about myself I apologize and ask about them because I equally care about what they have to say. Also, of course be yourself, show us the real you and if we like you we like you, if we don't then... Give up I guess? :)
Other tips: Be authentic and act with integrity. Stand up for the bullied and draw attention to the ignored. Tell us how our ideas, actions, and words make you feel. Replace skepticism with curiosity and give individuals the benefit of the doubt. Don't be afraid to challenge us but do it in a friendly and cheeky way.
Stand up for the bullied and draw attention to the ignored.---yeah but only if that is what they truly believe in. If it is a put on, I will know right away and lose respect for them.
My bf (ISTJ) is a beacon of stability and, along that, predictability. We have a long relationship and yes, I get 'seduced' by crazy, inspiring guys, but my lovely boy who will sort all the chaos in my head (and can also seriously discuss a problem by seeing all the possibilities just as me, but filters all the absurd and paranoid ones) is all that I need in the end.
That whole shit of it's hard for us to keep a conversation unless it's something we are super passionate about and then you cant shut us up... i felt that
This is the funniest video I've seen about my type! INTPs and INFPs are from such different worlds - often drawn to each other yet can't stand each other if too much time is spent together 😂😂😂
Haha great vid Nathan. I was JUST excitedly brainstorming ways to love on someone via the inferior function yesterday! It's great advice...I mean, clearly, since at least 2 of us thought of it 😆 And I know soooo many INFPs who have acts of service as their primary love language, particularly when it comes to receiving. It has always made sense to me given our yearning for Te proficiency 😋 Personally, it is very attractive to me when someone isn't scared to "play" with me...push me around with ideas and opinions, play a joke on me, don't be scared to see how I react. I interpret that as someone thinking I'm solid. Honestly...love us how you want...the thing that we will pick up on is if you reeeeallllyy mean it. If you do, it's less likely to matter how you do it. Show us your spectrum of Truth.
This is awesome, haha. The bit about our personalities never really sitting still, jumping into new phases and perspectives, was perfect. Whether others have also listened to Jack Kornfield or not, I think a lot of us INFPs can resonate with a notion that he brings up - that it's good to 'hold identity lightly' so that we're never too rigidly confined in our ways to engage with new ideas - which is always exciting. It gives us new places to wander through.
I'm an infp and I find gifts that have multiple different uses are extremely well received by me, I have to keep my environment ad streamlined as possible so i can afford to sort through my very scattered brain, I get very easily overwhelmed by my own clutter so I really appreciate being told new ways to use everyday items that I've never thought of before
I finally feel like someone truly understands me. I just recently broke up with a long term boyfriend, because I started feeling like I was trapped, and been back on the market, but everyone that tries to go after me I don't even give them the time of day. I feel like they just want to use me or just want a quick hook up so why even entertain the thought. At the end of the day I already know what my decision is and I hate wasting other peoples time and vice versa. My friends have been getting on me for not giving these guys a chance and are starting to think I'm crazy for not going after these men too. It's so alleviating to see that I'm not some weird person that doesn't know how to love or is confuse on what they want and that they're many more people like me in this world.
As an INFP I feel this so much. It’s like if you ask me about something I’m interested in, I’m like “okay first I just wanna say thank you for asking, now I wanna answer you but if I yap too much just let me know” when he said it might be packaged differently I felt that too bc I sometimes I just struggle to get to the bottom line and keep it concise. It doesn’t help that I’m constantly speaking in metaphors 😂
Glad to hear it! When you're ready feel free to join our Discord server. I created it precisely to bring together the people in the comments section so that they could interact in a real-time way. The link is in the descriptions of most of the videos ~ Nathan
I have never heard someone so concisely describe how an INFP processes things. As an INFP myself, obviously doing much self reflection and understanding, I feel very happy being understood. And I agree with all said in this vid😂💛
I'm an INTJ long-term dating an INFP, and they for sure are a puzzle and full of contrasts! The doomthinking about love and the bleak state of society is hard to fend off, and the absolute refusal to be nudged into things, not out of fear or a logical reason but simply to maintain their agency, even if it would be helpful to them, is plain confusing for my control freak tendencies (what, I just love to help my loved ones!) They can be absolutely stubborn in a completely different way than I am, and it can feel very arbitrary. But they're authentic and ultimately true to who they are, even if it seems to scare them at times, deep thinkers and dreamers who can hold amazing conversations, truly want to understand you and for you to be the best version of yourself, and I like digging deeper into some of the many ideas their Ne will bring :)
I have never in my life watched a video that describes me so accurately. Every second of this video is true for me. I feel scared.. what the hell, lol. And also so many people in the comments saying the same things I'm thinking..how?!?
Be from the heart, be self aware, understand life is not just always linear & logical, and realize the difference between being smart & intelligent. Thank You
I am a INFP English guy in love with a INFP American girl and I endorse this video. My love really shows me how we INFPs have such a wide range of moods and feelings from macabre melancholy to witty cynicism to whimsical joy to nostalgic romanticism. You really need to be able to appreciate the roller coaster ride that are INFP moods and how to know how to treat us right.
It's quite true, how we simply adore talking about things *we* find important. Funny how from listening wide-eyed dolls, we turn 180 degrees within ourselves when we've been given the chance. But does anyone experience people ever zoning out the moment they start talking? I wondered if it's lack of Fe to capture people, or something at least rather capable of being applicated to all INFPs?
@@NathanJGlass Oh, indeed. I suppose the ideal example through fiction would be Anne of Green Gables; though most INFPs lack such charisma, which is why that's quite an ideal for us to be. Self-interruptions and long sentences sometimes with their ends and beginnings and middle, chaotically ordered, and the low tone of voice for some, does make one retreat to writing as a safe haven to...exist in.
From what I've gathered (INFP btw) we zone out when the subject doesn't have "value" or doesn't interest *us* , or require our participation. Usually, this doesn't happen to very often me personally when I'm in a 1-on-1 situation, but if I'm in a group setting and someone is talking about something that I can't come and give input on - I might fly off to my dreams lol
So many people here try to talk about INFP´s (even INFP´s themselves), and I got used to listenting theese kind of half-understood statements. Howevver when I listen to what you are saying, it feels much more precise, you go in depth and really seek to understand why - and you also succeed in your research mostly. I just wanted to say you are very good in what you do and your mind is so interesting! Thumbs up!
How to seduce us: be authentic and trustworthy (we'll figure it out if you're not). Be playful and flexible. Sometimes we want to sit around and bounce ideas back and forth about psychology or ethics or whether free will exists. Sometimes we wanna go on adventures. Often witty banter and finding reasons to laugh together is enough. Ask before you offer advice. When we tell you what's hurting us, just listen and say things like, "I'm sorry; that's really [insert appropriate adjective here]." Show us you care with hugs or getting us to laugh (after we're done venting). Remind us to have healthy boundaries; we often give too much of ourselves to the people we care about, but paradoxically we're always worried we aren't giving nearly enough, because we have this idea in our minds of how to be the perfect friend, which we can never live up to.
As a ESTP from my experiences with INFP’s you are spot on... however sitting through listening to y’alls feelings and not saying how to fix the problem is incredibly difficult for me any tips?
@@madeintheUSA10 Yes! Say things like: "I can imagine how hard/difficult (whatever applies) this might be for you. What can I do to help/make you feel better? Or "This (insert situation) sucks. Is there anything I could do for you/to help you?" That kind of response is really what I need. I hate it when I am given unsolicited advice, or when someone tries to convince me that I should feel differently than the way I feel or when they try to tell me how should I do things (if I haven't asked) I'm order for me to feel better. Instead, if you want to offer genuine help, the best way is to actually ask how can you help. At least this is what works best for me. I'm now teaching my friends and family because we are not taught these things and no-one can read other people's minds. I hope that helped.
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Get to know the real you with mindmymind - dub.sh/lovewho
"Get them to talk about something they really like... than you'll have the problem of getting them to shut up" that cracked me up lol
Edin Okanovic and it’s so TRUE
I agree. It's just me.
Edin Okanovic
I haven’t really experienced this
Maybe I’m a different type idk myself anymore 😂
Why would you want an INFP to shut up? If anything you cheer them up and problem fixed! -enfp
THE AUDACITY!
Just kidding it was funny XD
A deadly pessimistic ray of sunshine hahaha that's entirely accurate
Xela D glad you agree!
That's very accurate because my bedroom looks like I haven't changed it since I was 7
I first read the title as "seducing 16 year olds"
100%
"The sun is a deadly lazer"
You don't start by trying to seduce an INFP. You have to earn their trust and respect first.
Good advice! ~ Nathan
We are cats
Absolutely, as an INFP female, respect is everything to me
So true.
lmao not a hard thing to do.
Some others tips:
1. Be yourself. INFPs can sense when people are faking it, and we really appreciate authenticity.
2. Don't be pushy, but do try and make them do stuff they probably want to do but wouldn't do it because they don't have enough motivation or they're scared. If they end up enjoying it, they'll probably feel better around you later. But don't push them too hard if they resist!
3. Be serious. Most INFPs seek long term relationships, and we're more likely to date someone if we know they are serious about the relationship.
4. Show affection. If an INFP is not sure someone likes them, they might get insecure and pull away.
5. Be open minded. To anything.
As an INFP, I 100% agree with all of these points^^
preach
This is literally everything I look for in a relationship
I feel the need to emphasize the fifth point: BE OPEN-MINDED. I mean OPEN-MINDED. Seriously... This is no joke. We can be highly... WEIRD...
INTP is a rock.
INFP: i like rocks
I just dont get you guys
As an INFP i love it when people tell me about their lives, what they love etc and i love encouraging them to talk abt it by asking more questions but I noticed that most ppl don't do the same for me. When they will be finished talking they will ask me abt something and then will link my response to their experience and will go on talking.
That's why I sometimes know a hella lot details on someone while they barely know anything abt me because i don't like talking abt myself if nobody asked, i feel like they don't care.
So to me, someone who is genuinely interested in getting to know me, what I love and is willing to hear me talking abt it without interrupting me is very attractive, and kind of rare haha
Omg.. that's so me. I guess all INFPs are like that
Exactly.
My experience with INFPs has been that they don't want to talk about themselves. It's like nailing pulling teeth to get them to share their feelings. You hi ta wall and they just don't engage. Sometimes we just feel like giving up trying when it never works to try to engage about y'all. Y'all need to be more aware of how much you resist doing it when people try to get to know you. Gotta meet in the middle somewhere.
@@hfortenberry yeah i totally understand, i feel like we open up only when we feel like the person is genuinely interested in getting to know us. Personnaly bc of that i get told that i'm mysterious but it is just that literaly i will only tell ppl abt my life if they ask for it and tbh they rarely do cause they are more used to ppl who talk abt themselves normally, without having to be asked for it which is so understandable. but I think that post infp really want deep down to have an authentic conversation with someone they can open up to freely and have the deepest conv with, we just don't find that person in everyone
This is all too relatable!
_Any attempt to be pushy will be resisted out of principle_ but I'm also dying for your attention
I like it ~ Nathan
This is very relatable!
😭😭
i dont like it
MOOD.
As an INFP, I automatically shut down any sense of true affection for a person who is not willing to be vulnerable in conversation. If I quickly ascertain that a person wants to keep it “surface”, I know things have hit a dead end. That’s why we often start convos with people living on the street. We’re like “ooh! They probably want to talk about life’s struggles!”
This is soooooo trueeee
YEEESS
Omg! I’ve always wanted to talk to homeless people because of what wisdom they might possess.
@@louera I highly highly recommend it. I've had a few convos with people I've given money to on the streets who have told me about their lives. But recently I've been doing some voluntary work with homeless people and the stuff I've learned has changed my whole outlook on life. There is a LOT of wisdom to be shared and lessons to learn
LOL, OMG this totally fits. Interesting and illustrative!
This guy on a utube video knows me better than anyone has in my whole life.
Well thank you! ~ Nathan
How INFP of a comment is this? *arm across my forehead* *sigh * no one gets meh
And me!
It hurts.
It's wild man
"INFPs CANNOT STAND to be controlled or pushed into things. Any attempt to be pushy will simply be resisted, out of principle." That is ACCURATE.
Accurate
I´m INTP and we are like this as well, we are quite similar in most things, if you are an emphatic INTP or a logical INFP there is no real way to distinguish each other.
Be pushy and it's over. Then we will complain when someone doesn't give us enough atenttion cause were annoying in that way but don't listen to that, it's a trap.
You guys are crazy
This could not be more true 😂
hahahaha 😂❤️
Clau What do you mean by “complaining when someone doesn’t give you enough attention and because you were annoying....don’t listen to that it’s a trap?” Is the complaining about not having enough attention trap? Or giving an infp enough attention is trapping? Couldn’t understand clearly but this seems interesting input
@@happyemoji6553 it's a trap in the sense that when you give us the attention we're complaining about not having, we will then go to the other extreme and think that's too much. (Basically we're never satisfied lol) Ofc don't take this THAT seriously, its just an exaggeration about how we can be.
Yeah we're indeed a contradiction. Getting us to like you is quite easy, but the hard part is to keep us.
I would recommend something that may sound contradictory: be confident enough to be awkward. Being confident is not acting like you already have us under your sleeve, acting like you never loose, like you're always happy and cool. Being confident is acknowledging your own strenghts but also your weaknesses. So if you're shy, just act shy, we'll think it's adorable. If you're extroverted, act extroverted, we'll think it's attractive too. Don't fake it, we'll notice.
Once I had this guy that liked me, and he was really awkward, and instead of acting like himself, he acted like a playboy. Like, he would grab me by the shoulders, he wouldn't take a no for answer and he would say he liked all the things I liked. So at last, he was uncomfortable, I was uncomfortable, everything was a huge failure.
Don't be afraid to stutter, to dance terribly, to laugh awkwardly, we love authenticity.
"be confident enough to be awkward" you can NOT say that any better dude!!!
I relate to this on a spiritual level
So true, wonderfully said! ❤️ I relate to this big time!
100% told my INFJ SO that his confident awkwardness was what attracted me to him, because I knew that it was genuinely him (not fake) and I found it adorable. Anyone tries to put on a show or ACT super confident or flirty, I immediately don't trust them.
This is true, but I'd say also be confident enough to not be threatened by others, nothing turns me off more than shallow people. You can be awkward but if you're not genuinely kind and open-minded, I'm not interested
This guys intelligence is sooooo attractive. Infp-
@@NathanJGlass 😍
Dana B
I can’t figure out what your profile picture is:)
zain
Someone kissin a bird 😂
I dont know whether I'd run my ass off away from him or fall to his prey🤔 he's cute, tho🤷♂️
@@hannahmathilda7101 I thought it was a dog with a wig, don't ask
You want to be with an INFP?
Really, were hopeless romantics! Just be yourself and do it the most natural way such as being friends with us! And we will see more of you and we'll eventually be in love!
Yes I tend to like people I think I can be friends with and the people i stay hooked on are those I seem to have mixed friendly - romantic attraction feelings for.
That and being confident and trusting enough to be vulnerable with me - to share why your hurting, why your struggling, what you love, what you value it can be in small ways but it builds connection and attraction for me.
Another great video.
I can completely agree that INFPs are very hard to seduce. Becsuse of their innocent, dreamy and cute stereotype, many people may think they can easily manipulate and seduce them, but that's not true at all. They have a strong sense of morality and a belief system that stores all of the "right"s and "wrong"s for them. Just like INTPs, who are said to have a logical framework and an inner system for everything, INFPs have an ethical framework for everything because of their Fi/Ne. So you can't easily convince them to do something that they don't like or -god forbid- something that is contrary to their beliefs.
Spot on
agreed wholeheartedly
You pegged me right there and I don't know how I feel like it
I agree with this but then one thing I don't understand is why an INFP would cheat on her husband. I am a lesbian/friend and she fell for me and pursued me and we eventually had an affair. Because she is into authenticity, I assumed it meant she was secretly gay and wanted to be with me so I fell for her too. Then she decided to stay married and I broke off the affair (a few years into it). But she still tries to keep me in her life. I told her it is wrong and hurtful to her husband to keep me in her life so I rarely spend any time with her anymore. But she doesn't seem to care about him, or have a value that cheating is wrong. She doesn't seem to feel guilty about our affair. What is THAT about? I thought INFPs were supposed to be values-driven. I thought she did it because it was based off something important in her values. But I guess she was just experimenting??? Like being a zen monk one week, a hippy the next or a lesbian the next??? How could a person screw around with the hearts of others so casually like that? Doesn't seem very caring to me at all. If INFPs are so values-driven, how can she be so insensitive to his feelings or their marriage vows???
Beautifully said!
holy shit, i feel attacked lol
yeah, when infps talk -- and like really talk - don't try to counter us with too much logic. we know that we talk like a crazy person especially when it's about the things we love, and we know that we can be incomprehensible (that sometimes we don't even know what tf we're talking about), but give us the moment and just listen. our mind is a rollercoaster that goes up so high and so low, and you just gotta enjoy the ride with us even for a while.
I’m a INFP and this is all so me. but it’s very mystical how spot on it is. It’s kinda crazy
Yes!! I divorced my ENTJ husband because of this. He would get exasperated when I would get to talking, and said near the end of our relationship that trying to follow my train of thought was exhausting. He kept waiting for me to “get to the point so I can get on with my day.” I was like “Why are you even with me.” It felt awful! Especially when my coworker said the opposite, that he loves talking with me because he never knows where it will lead but loves the ride, it’s always happy and oftentimes surprisingly wise, giving him revelations of his own so we can bounce back and forth off each other forever. Such a difference! 💗
Also, if I may add something, be yourself! I'm personally attracted by authenticity. People being unapologetically themselves without fear of what others may think really spark my interest, and I'm positive it may be the same for other INFPs.
I totally agree, as an infp! I absolutely love it when someone can be open and themselves around me. That's how my gf 'seduced' me I think :p by just being herself.
Question. Do u guys hate logic and practical realities plainly presented to you? Am an Istp and i tend to do that, of course i understand the emotional situation of it and care about the people /situation being discussed but i also believe that unless it's talked about in its actuality the problem won't resolve it'll jst be a circle of acceptance and brushing aside the actual problem. I haven't had good experience with Infps in my life XD lol.
@@mussabsaleem7625 I can only speak for myself, ofcourse, but I do think logic and practical solutions (and may I add: facts?) are of value in problem-solving, even when it involves people. As you already suggest: the right way lays somewhere in the middle between taking others' feelings into concideration and looking at the facts plainly and logically.
As an INFP, I can honestly say not to hate logic. But it isn't my natural way of thinking. It requires some effort to enter a logical 'modus'. The same goes for facts, seeing reality plainly as it is: I tend to see the big picture, to see more general connections and universals. This makes it more difficult to focus on concrete facts, which I also tend to find boring.
So when presented with a practical, logical point of view, it does feel uncomfortable. Why? Because it confronts me with things I'm not as good at - facts and logic. And it takes some effort. This can feel extremely overwhelming, especially if I don't trust the person providing the logical approach. Also, INFP quite like feeling comfortable. The truth often isn't comfortable. So that also causes me to shiver when presented with facts and logic.
Personally, I have learned to welcome people who think logical and practical, because they bring something to the table I'm not that good at. At least listening to them, hearing them out, taking time to let their words seep in, has increased the quality of my life. By the way, my best friend is an ISTP! ;) I learned a lot from him!
Anyways, I hope this makes sense to you and helps you answer the question. :) And also, I hope this provides a better experience with an INFP, for a change. ^^
Take care!
@@mieralunarlunishion First of all thanks for this awesome reply, i read it 2-3 times so hopefully i got the proper grasp of what you said. Personally what would you say is the middle ground between logic and emotional need. Hmm e.g if some1 is say feeling low/unaccomplished but it is partly their own fault, then how would you tackle that situation? ._. Dun worry this ain't a test or anything i jst want a perspective. So chillax and answer :P.
@Mussab Saleem Hi! I believe it really depends on the person and the situation. Personally, I can't say I hate logic. It's just not really my favorite way to solve problems. When solving a practical problem, first I look at the general situation and rule out every possible solution that isn't in line with my values/principles. Then I brainstorm until a feasible solution comes to mind. If that doesn't work, I resort to Si and Te to systematically analyze the problem and come up with a step by step solution. That's my least favorite way to go though, because it's energetically demanding.
I actually like it when people point at some practical realities I may have overlooked, because it saves me from doing the detail work that I know is important but is so tiring and boring to me. The only thing I'd never accept is a logic solution that goes against my principles.
'One week, they're free living hippies. The next, zen monks.' 100% accurate ahahahahaha
Idk if this resonates with other INFPs but the idea of being seduced by someone because they studied what you like is really manipulative and disingenuous
I am probably not an INFP, but no one enjoys being played. I assume, that he meant that it feels nice to meet someone who actually really cares about who you are as a person.
Not that I believe that, to be a trait, that only certain types prefer. 💁♀️
I don't think he meant it that way. At least, that's not how I interpreted it. As an INFP, I find it really flattering when people remember small details about me, like things I told them I like, and bring it up in a conversation. I feel seen and heard. But then again, if I don't already appreciate the person, I might find it creepy or annoying. Yeah, pretty contradictory
When a guy does that to me it creeps me out sooooo much
너의 목소리가 좋아요 i agree, i rarely if ever have someone that remembers stuff i tell them that i like and things that interest me, so id be so flattered! haha of course unless he is just creepy but then i could just not talk to them if i wanted to and their vibes were off so i dont see a problem
@@neouimoksorigajohayo is that EXO member on your pro pic? Chanyeol?
We INFPs value respect, individuality, and authenticity over all things. Be all three, and you are off to a very good start. If you want some sort of relationship with an INFP, be it friendship or a romantic relationship, they would have utmost respect for your courage if you come out and say that right off the bat. As hopeless romantics, we always watch certain people from afar, imagining ourselves having friendships or relationships with them, and to hear that someone feels that way about us would be the most flattering of honors.
being fake for me is proabbly the ultimate turn-off
As an INFP I’m usually the one listening. Well, usually.. is actually and understatement, probably. I think. I’ll admit though, it’s my fault- I ask the questions, get the other person talking, and then contently listen.
It would be very strange having it flipped over- being the one who’s talking and not listening for once. I’m afraid of getting into what I’m passionate about, because I’m aware that I’ll talk too fast for too long and just make the person I’m talking to confused- Everything I’d say would be like one run-on sentence.
Which is why I like being the one who listens. Everyone deserves an open, unbiased ear, that’ll listen and at least try to understand. Two sides to every story. Or y’know, someone who’ll just laugh with you on a nice sunny day about the tug of war that turned into a beautiful, chaotic-
I’m gonna stop myself there. I’ve already typed maybe- what, three paragraphs?
> - <
There’s a lot I don’t say. I should make a book so that way I don’t murder someone’s ears. Thinking of books, I wonder how my other friend is doing on her book. I should go check up on her and maybe send her some disgustingly positive gifs, I don’t want her to give up and all that.
Yeah I’m gonna go do that.
Bye random stranger that decided to read this mini essay of a comment for some unknown reason.
Lol! That's all me.
Haha love your comment I could relate as an infp
Girl, same.
Most relatable INFP comment hahahaha
Same XD
Doesn’t like to be controlled. Do not tell them how they solve they’re problems especially if they didn’t ask. Inspiring me is seductive. Figure out what i like first or care about without judgemental Behaviours or critiquing. Spiritual thinking sounding crazy to others? Hmmmmm sounds like someone i know 👀👀
I've been trying to figure out how to seduce INFPs forever it seems, they're painful enigmatic to me ~ Nathan
@@lovewho tbh, i know not all INFP’s are the same. Trust me I’ve met one and honestly we sorts don’t act like one another, only common thing is we want justice and peace in the world. However, if truly at our core we are the same. The best way to seduce is actually not to seduce. The need to try in itself is inauthentic, i can smell an actor miles away. I don’t want to seem like a project where the end of your kindness is only running due to your mission to get me with you. Often i would imagine, we would want a friendship first, someone not looking to want us in a relationship just because they are enamoured by us. Countless of times I’ve become turned off when it takes 1 day or 1 week for someone to say they have feelings for me. The best way to seduce is to be innocent, not over sexualizing a moment. Tell us your deep stories, your insecurities, your pain and how you look at life today as you’ve grown from them. Share your feelings and have genuine interest in ours without the desperate look to take us home. The reason being is, true nature at the beginning shows true nature that is permanent. Falsifying who you are to be flirtatious, a seducer, will at end run it’s course. We aren’t interested in an expiration date of you are, we want to know NOW if we are worth the time we spend with each other. I use the term ‘we’ or ‘us’ loosely, as i said, not all INFP’s need the same treatment, we all were brought up differently. But strictly speaking of me, this is how i like it. Take an example of Jack and Rose, he showed her his side of things and never shy’d away from bringing her to his world, he had keen interest in rose and didn’t belittle her class. In the end, it’s actually her that initiated sleeping with him, he would probably go along a very long time not initiating it. That’s what we like, the innocence and the friend that one day we are so attracted to, the one that gives us life even beyond the spectrum of the bedroom. Hope this helps? 🤷♀️
Extremely well said!!! ~ Nathan
Also please feel free to check out our Discord server, we have lots of INFPs on there and I think that they might benefit from hearing many of the things you have to say. If it’s complicated to use when you go on there then feel free to DM me on there - the link for the Discord server is in the description of most of the videos. ~ Nathan
@@lovewho Thank you for your reply, also, i joined haha it wasnt too complicated! Unless i did something wrong that i think is right haha then im screwed!
If an INFP doesn’t feel a connection with a person they shut themself off from that person. They are very particular on their feelings and emotions.
This makes a lot of sense indeed ~ Nathan
@Unwrittenfall I agree with you, as an infp sometimes we can sense people intention or we don't at same time we like mysterious cat living in human body🤣
I have this image in my head how should my ideal relationship be like because I want to have a meaningful relationship. In general I feel like INFPs just want someone who will accept them and not to try to change them
I've always had problems recognizing when someone is changing me, and normally I notice when it's easy too late, and that's why I stopped dating for a few years cause I had to set my standards and I had to start putting everyone on this pedestal, even just for normal relationships, and now I've found myself the best relationship I've ever been in, AND she's an ENFP, and as an ambivert that sides more with introversion I've always needed a woman that can help me be more social and helps keeps my "social meter" up
UNDERSTANDING. Basically.
...and to be gentle with us.
I'm an INFP, but sometimes I fall into having two personas. The "polite" persona that is more mainstream and boring but gets me by on the day to day, and the "true" persona where I can just be my weird, quirky self. The second persona only comes out when I feel comfortable with someone and/or I'm testing someone to try to see if we we're really compatible or not. My favorite thing is when someone unexpectedly cuts through my boring persona by being so uniquely themselves I get caught off guard and feel almost ashamed of myself for not doing the same. I feel kind of called out, but it's such a refreshing surprise. It makes me instantly want to get to know them better because I feel I've found a kindred spirit. Like I've finally found a "safehouse" in the vast ocean of normies. Lol
Another way to get an INFP interested is to just show you have some kind of hidden depth that most ppl don't see. It creates a sense of mystery and we can always appreciate someone who has more going on than they seem. This can be a hobby, or unique interest, or artistic ability, talent, skill, whatever. We tend to find people who are really interested in something, really interesting.
As an INFP for me if someone started to "like" things i value to get on my good side I would not like that. And i would be able to tell eventually. So if you like what i like naturally and happen to have the same deeper life values or similar ones. Great. Now we are at least friends. What many dont seem to understand though, and this is an important point, is that i dont care if you like the same music as me for example or even music in general, even though i love music, as long as you have something in your life you are equally unapologetically passionate and care deeply about. And if you then have similar deeper life values too. Well then my heart is open for you.
(INFP) I think you said it best. Not so much about similarities but an equal passion for things; So long as they don't violate the "moral code".
(INFP) Also, I think someone being up front about not being interested in [insert subject], but they're interested in me enough to be intrigued by what I like is very impactful (risky too, but sincerity is the only way to go).
could not have said it better. we like discovering new things so you , having your own little world full of different music and tv shows etc is far more interesting for us because that way we deepen our own taste and feel like we really got to know you. though I cannot stand if someone makes fun of me for the things I like so at least find it endearing that I watch conspiracy theories on p&j sandwiches at 3 in the morning.
How true
As an INTJ, if you don't ask about what I like, there is no chance I will show them to you. INFP's don't ask a lot of questions.
Well you’ve seduced *this* INFP lol
I am an INFP too and I definitely like it when someone wants to learn about me and actually listen and ask questions. People often want to talk about themselves, which is actually fine with me because I enjoy listening and learning about people and I don't mind it, but if they really want to make an impression then they will actually ask ME questions and get to know me, because I won't offer information or reveal my life story without them asking me. I need information to be pulled out of me a bit and I appreciate when someone is willing to take the time and effort to do that! :) I also definitely like to take my time and take things at my own pace. I HATE being pressured to do anything and it will literally make me shut down! I did my own post on this same topic :)
Very well said! ~ Nathan
@@lovewho thank you Nathan!
I understand what you say... Every guy that I meet really likes talking about himself and doesn't ask me back questions about me, they think the conversation is more like a competition or something in which I have to basically fight to have a space. If I say I like the color blue I like to be asked why that color attracks me, not that you prefer yellow. I genuinely feel insterested in knowing about the person I'm talking to... but when it's not balanced and only I am the listener or I really have to fight to talk about me, I'm not interested anymore. Quarantine time does not help at all because it's hard to keep conversations alive not having any hope to actually meet the person.
I dont like people to tell to do something when i already know i have to do it because it kinda pisses me off
“There is quite a lot of wisdom in the things they say, just not packaged as you normally expect” this.. is so accurate. What can I say, we’re a ball of unorthodox :3
Yes this was also my favorite part. As INFPs our brain is wired to reason in feelings which tend to translate into images before they become words. That means we tend to talk in everyday life like people write in poems, finding metaphors and similes and other such abstract comparisons more easy to use than plain words.
@@reveriedreamshade5669 ah yes, I once started talking about sponges to say that I needed to recharge... It was complicated but me and the other person found a way to understand each other
@Ícaro Monteiro Barros like you grab a sponge, and you put it on a bowl of water. It gets to the point where the sponge can't absorb any more water because it's full.
@Amel Gris Nice! It wasn't the original meaning but your interpretation is also really good
As an INFP, I'm very much a sapiosexual and I assume other INFPs are attracted to intellect as well. Talk theories and philosophy with us and watch us melt (;
As an INFP-T, I feel like I have to say this. When you get us to talk about deep things like values, beliefs, philosophies etc., act engaged in the conversation. I don't know if this is true for everyone, but when I start talking about things that are important to me, I won't shut up, but I constantly look at the other person's body language to see if they're actually interested in the conversation. And I constantly ask them if they're interested because I've been shut down and not listened to too many times before. So if you find yourself in this situation with an INFP, actively show your interest and add tiny comments here and there, but don't interrupt them and start linking what they're saying to your own views and experiences.
Let them talk, encourage them, be engaged and they'll deeply appreciate you for it.
I can relate. Infp here as well.
INTP here, and INFPs actually are the easiest types for me to get close to. The only difficult part is the very beginning where they don't say much.
Honestly I don't know what advice I'd give for other types, but if you're an INTP, then literally just be yourself. Throw around some sarcasm, be relaxing to be around, and talk about the topics of the world and the people in it that naturally interest you.
If you can manage to be a little witty, stress-free, and sometimes insightful, you'll find that they'll even be happy to talk to you during their alone time, which is a pretty big deal i think. Be aware, they can get a little emotional at times. And i often have to yell at them for trying to care about me at the expense of caring about themselves lol. But other than that, they're actually pretty awesome
Very interesting! My sister is an INFP and the two of us recently met a pleasant INTP person. He does exactly what you list, (presenting himself). I analyzed the two and see the effortlessly quick level of compatibility. This is a good description :)
I frequently seem to date INTPs, and this is spot on. Wit and sarcasm = ❤
my brother is an intp im an infp and we've always gotten along great, expect when he's in his own head and i interrupt his thoughts lol
I agree! It's so nice to hear that you're able to get along with the INFPs in your life, and that it hasn't been as hard to understand them as people think! My dad recently discovered he's an INTP, which explains why we get along so well! He might not be into what I'm into, but he's also quiet, authentic, and always seems like he's genuinely interested in whatever my siblings or I have to say! (He can also be goofy and has a snappy sense of humor that comes out of nowhere, which I appreciate!) I also wouldn't expect it, but I've been finding we both secretly love traveling and wandering to new places just for something new in our lives--even though we seem like such homebodies!😂
Intps are one of the few personalitie types I have found very comfortable to be around and because their accepting nature its easy to be myself. Also very good listeners and brutaly honest with sarcastic sense of humour
Kind of hard to keep up with INFP's? Heck yeah, I can barely keep up with myself. It can be frustrating when i see the path behind me strewn with unfinished projects, books and the like. I look back at myself and I see how I'm such a different person then I was then so I can't go back to it unless I'm ready. Sometimes I become so obsessed with a subject that i become lost in it and it can be a few weeks. months or years before I come up for air. I realize to all my family and friends I seem crazy but I have also been told that I am perceptive and so reflective.
I'm the same. For weeks I obsess over some subject and do a research on it like I'm doing a phD on that subject lol. I get completely lost and if I tell anyone about it they look at me like I'm crazy. So I just keep my obsessions hidden. And it passes and I'm on to another thing. I also have unfinished books that bother me a lot, but I also don't want to finish reading them because I'm no longer interested in that. Our personality can be annoying sometimes, but we have to accept ourselves and accept that some things don't have to be finished and that it's ok not to be interested in something anymore.
L 2198 same, I'm well aware that I can be annoying with my obsessions. I could fall for anyone who thought my behaviour was endearing or simply thought it was okay for me to just be myself and left me to it😂
You're partially correct, INTJ here. One has to find, ask, questions the might get them talking. Even though you might fear abject rejection, they will appreciate your pathetic efforts. Attention spans vary.
Lmao,I love intjs. Doesn't really matter what you ask us,if you actually put some thought into it and care about getting to know us.
INTJ are great as friends. I realy admire the ones I have as friends in my life. And man I love their dark sense of humor and the killer sarcasm.😂😁😀
that's like the most INFJ feedback i've ever seen
Also, even if an INFP may like you since the beginning, they may prefer to be a close friend to you first before they start trying for a relationship. So try to be patient because in any moment we may start being more flirty once we know you!
The last sentence was so beautiful. Thank you! I have quiet a lot ENTPs and INTPs around me in the last months and I (as an INFP) find it very hard to find the right words to make them understand my theories. We often have the same opinion but my words were always more spiritual, even if I thought of these things in a scientistic way. But now while writing it down it could also be a good lesson to learn how to pronounce crazy ideas and thoughts in a more „down to earth“ kind of way 😄
Attempt to first teach them that you can see that you align and your struggle to word what isn't even meant to word, since intuition and feeling do THE SAME THINGS they do in terms of research, but through different channels!
Why (if not for the terribly slanted off-balance in society) should you be the only one learning their language? No! They need to put work into speaking your language! If they need encouragement: "Make my language style your next project. I'm a dolphin. We do things yoi can't dream of. Don't be stupid, disregarding me just because you haven't figured out yet what channels I'm using. If you wanna learn why dolphins manage crazy things, you study and get to understand THEM first, not exclusively demand thex first learn your language."
😀 No, we're not under the obligation to be their translator and research handing in the answers to the researchers. If tgey don't care, they're not worth the energy and may leave!
This is legit the most accurate thing ever hahaha. Being an INFP man is extremely difficult in the dating world
Glad you liked it! ~ Nathan
As a woman you infp guys are my weakness lol. I don't know why you guys are so damn attractive but I can't get over it;)
i think its because INFP is considered the most feminine of MBTI types plus throw in the stereotype emo crybaby snowflake and its hard. As I said to a female friend once "women would rather date a good looking sociopath (and worse) than a nice guy"
@@atomiccritter6492 I like to think that that changes at some point. But meh…. Shit happens
@@atomiccritter6492 yea true that idk why but alot of the girl i know are more attracted to cold guys like ughh
I'm an INFP who "looks" like an ENFP, so people think I have crushes on everyone. I tend to compliment people a lot (genuine compliments), because I want them to feel loved and appreciated. But honestly, I have fallen in love just once (I'm in my 30's) with an INTJ and that's it. I really like INTJs, because we share similarities, but they also have traits I don't.
Especifically, I fell in love with this INTJ because he's kind, non-ambitious, self-sufficient, a loner (I don't like extroverted people), extremely calm and analytical, and well, he's an adult (I'm very child-like unfortunately).
Love Who But then, people think we are flirting, lol. :)
nice to hear of similar experiences. just into my 30s. only two men i'd fallen in love with were both INTJs.
Nora Flood It took me 11 years to forget about that INTJ, he never loved me. INFJs are a better match. Now I’m in a relationship with an INFJ, he’s my soulmate, unfortunately, it’s a forbidden love... but I had never been so happy.
@@svenskbonbon if you're in some sort of a 'relationship' with him already it's not quite so 'forbidden'! :) I think INFPs are a source of love: it's wonderful you've found this happiness and you can keep it with you forever and bless other people in your life with it :)
I've personally never been able to bond so much with INFJs. I don't ever seem to 'notice' them to begin with. If I get the chance to know them later on, I sometimes find them wonderful - but just too 'proper'. But I guess my 'P' factor is quite high and I tend to be 'all-over-the-place' which may put them off. I find I frighten the INFJs a bit too much (and feel judged in return - even if in truth they are more often just fascinated) whereas the INTJs don't have the 'recoil' reaction in them - which makes me feel at ease (and like a child a bit sometimes too tbh).
Like you, I really admire their 'loner', sometimes quite high-minded aspect. But maybe that says something about us and our childhoods? - and the way we end up falling in love with 'unavailable' people :S
Fresh into my 30s now: I'm ready to leave the two INTJ-boys behind (7 years flew by in depression!) and spread my Fi-love to the world ;)
Gotta seduce myself
Good video. I'm married to an INFP. The advice to give practical help in a subtle and slow way is spot on. I would also say in my experience, it is consistent physical expressions they value - whether it be smiles, hug, and the like - that make you part of their future plans.
@@NathanJGlass Tested INFJ for years. And although I don't subscribe to the typical for that type, the order of those functions is what I identify with.
John_Dee14
Holy hell yes! Cuddles win over an INFP so quickly! Of course, you’ve gotta reach that stage of the relationship, but genuine physical affection is their kryptonite.
@@zain4019 thanks for that info I pray no INFP predator see THIS and I know as an INFP what to watch out for in terms of physical boundaries. God is good 🙏🏼
*furiously takes notes*
*peeks over shoulder*
Lol.
@Hero of Time Get them back to me in a timely manner. :')
@@AutoAlchemy oh, once you get your notes back, good luck for you in the journey of seducing your special INFP :) or maybe you are like me, someone who watch these type of videos 'cause you don't see very much of them talking about how to be friend with some mostly likely quiet people if u are a quiet shy people too, so you sincerely just approach her/him. The two of you say "hi" to each other and there's the awkward silence, since you don't know if they would like a cool and yet strange greeting to break the ice or a deep conversation about feelings, fears and the small and unnoticed joys of the oftentimes boring routine with a newly acquaintance, seeing that both of you sucks on normal small talk about the weather. So you just smile to the person, nod, and you walk away in opposites directions. I would relax, and then think in the coziness of my bed: oh sh*t, i screwed everything up
When i am trying to make friends now in highschool, I keep thinking if talk about how hard is to approach one and keep a small talk is a good subject for a small talk.
*ah*, this was Just to wish you good luck, so good luck :) i was carried away
Did the notes prepare you for the "examination day"? ; )
Thank you for this. As an INTP, I have done hours and hours of internet research on which personality type I would wanna date and concluded that I would like to pursue an INFP
I'm INFP and my bf (of 3.5 years) is ESTP. We're almost completely opposite and have very different interests and points of view. On paper, we don't really make sense. BUT what really attracted me to him was A) he took an interest in what I had to say and B) he was very different from other people I knew (so new and exciting!) and C) he was always genuine. What has kept us together is firm belief in our religion, growing similar interests together, and pushing each other out of our comfort zones. And maybe most importantly, humor.
Just some insight on a real-life INFP :)
I'm an Infp, and I actually laughed with recognition. (Especially about the getting them to shut up) :p
I think, in general, if you want to attract interest of an infp (be it romantic, be it in friendship): just show genuine interest, give honest compliments (but not too many!) or express your heart-felt appreciation for the words, art, help or even just company the infp has given you.
About the helping part: I can't speak for other infp's, but I wouldn't like it at all if you just bursted into my life and tried to fix my problems. My problems are mine and yours are yours. But if you made yourself available, and you are open and genuine about it, then I would appreciate that a lot. :)
In general, just be you. Don't play games or wear masks. Infp tend to not like that (I know I don't).
Be yourself! Let your vulnerabilities show. Talk about the things that really matter to you and be KIND.
Well said!
I love hearing you talk about INFPs. Out of everybody I've listened to, you seem to understand the most. If you want to seduce an INFP get to know their values and get them talking on a deeper level. 100% spot on 👌
This is great to hear not least because INFPs have always been something of a mysterious type from my perspective ~ Nathan
@@lovewho they are right. You are one of only two who really seems to GET us. In fact, your content helped me realize I am an INFP. I was mistyped and really didn’t fit with some of the stereotypes.
"predictability is probably the worst sin of all" made me laugh out loud cause it's so right 😂🤣As is everything you say! Love your videos!
Thank you! That means a lot.
As an INFP the “you’ll have a hard time getting them to shut up thing” made me crack up. I don’t talk a lot but when I’m with someone close talking about something I love I’m aware I speak lightening fast and don’t shut up. I’ve had bad experiences with friends in the past who took this for a bad attribute in me- specifically a best friend who often out right told me to shut up whenever I spoke or tried to get involved in a conversation. This has left me with a fear of talking about the things that I like in case I come across as rude or pepple aren’t interested which makes it very hard for me to connect with people. I don’t have any close friends- but the last person I dated I clicked with instantly because of how open minded he was and the fact that he genuinely listened when I went on and on about my interests- he’d even ask what happened the characters in books I’d passionately mentioned before and try his best to remember all the names, and although he wasn’t much of a reader himself he tried watching some of the shows I had mentioned and they became common interests for us. On the other hand, many people have tried to get close to me by pretending to be interested in things I am interested in and not really listening or contributing to the conversation - in particular I’m aware that a friend likes me, he is very open about the fact, but it’s impossible for us to have interesting conversations since he will just nod in agreement with everything I say and offer little commentary or ask questions that’ll make me speak more, which leads me to believe he’s not really interested in anything I have to say.
Infp here and yeah getting pushed around sucks I would rather die. Infp's value the understanding of people and how they work which is why they usually end up in field like psychology or literature. They can read people easy and because of how easy they find it they'll make sure no one else can read them. They're the dumping ground for other people's problems and never show their own emotions. We are very experimental with absaloutley everything unless it goes against our core values which infp's have a lot of without noticing. They love being at the beach and pretty landscapes as nature is proven to make them happier and they hate being suffocated so if you push them around and are always around them they are going to want to kill you.
I genuinely want to know this: is it just me or do other infps hate clingy people? ;-;
I'm infp and I'm clingy, I like clingy people if they are already close to me, but if it's someone I'm not close to it makes me really uncomfortable. But it could also be just my social anxiety.
I think the manipulation that clingy people often use is what is unattractive. I'm fine with honest neediness because I'm that way myself.
I'm honest about my needs and I expect my partner to be honest too
Ahh I see. I definitely need my space a lot more than others do and they don’t always understand
Same way. I NEED space.
I’m an INFP and clingy people scare me because while I am a very caring person, I have a strong innate need for space, freedom and flexibility, and can be very indecisive . I know I’ll only end up hurting a clingy person and leaving them feeling messed around because our needs and personalities are so different. I don’t like to feel pinned down, and a clingy person is the very opposite. So if clinginess is there, I’m gone from the offset!
“Hard to respect someone who is clearly solving others’ problems to avoid their own.” Yessss
As to what I am attracted to, it is definitely people who can be present with me. People who are distracted by phones or seem distant, it bothers me so much. If I like someone I will put all my energy in being present with them.
I definitely don't like it when people are critical towards me, unkind towards others, or immature/disrespectful.
I also appreciate open and honest communication. Like you can pour out your soul in our first date and I won't mind at all. Also I probably will fall head over heels for someone that gets excited about our future plans. Like I think introverted sensing and extraverted intuition I will think up new ideas for dates that come from experiences I had in the past and I will just throw it out there. Would you want to take a boat out on the lake and watch the sunset? Would you want to go to Disney World with me? I always dreamed of having my Honeymoon in Hawaii would you want to go to Hawaii? Lol! So like being able to share my desires and hopes and dreams and have them be all on board, that would be amazing.
"One week they are free living hippies, the next they are zen monks" HAHAHAHA I RESONNATED WITH THAT DEEPLY
Am I the only INFP who thinks aloud? Every time I read something I have to mumble it to myself so that I absorb the information because if I don't I'll go off track. Completely off topic, but I'm just wondering.
Omg so I am not the only "mental health facility escapee" seeming INFP who always speaks out their thoughts when alone at home XD I feel I can get my thoughts clearer by doing that
I find myself doing the exact same thing quite often, whether it be around others (to which I receive odd looks) or alone in my room.
Dude I have the same problem 😭😭😂 that's why any tests with exsessive amounts of reading I do poorly on cause I can't focus on it cause I'm not actually interested in it
Of course not, I think I talk to myself more than I talk to other people.
I don't think aloud all the time but there are plenty of moments where the thoughts and voices inside my head become so violent and loud that I actually have to verbally tell my brain to shut up (mostly just mumble it though so no one would hear) 😂
as an INFP i feel like really really deep conversations about emotional and dark things are what draw most of my attention to another person. there also HAS to be a unique connection i feel to them
As an INFP, I constantly contradict myself. Sometimes I feel like two individuals fighting to find out who's real. It's confusing.
I'm an INFP and my boyfriend is an INTP. We both agree this was positively spot on in many regards.
I did have one addendum to make regarding the spiritual/conspiracy nonsense so many INFPs get involved in. You articulated in a previous video that some INFPs do not believe that insight can come from institutions/establishments. For me insight comes equally from the rational, intentional decisions people make as well as their irrational, subconscious, emotionally-motivated behaviors. Since human beings are capable of being irrational it stands that being irrational is a fundamental part of the human experience regardless of if some humans try to transcend it. A philosophical examination of life is incomplete without assessing and studying the taboo, hidden, and reviled. Insight comes just as much from what we cannot measure as it does from what we can.
Here is an example: If you as a student complete a course in Calculus you come away from it with the understanding that Calculus has certain rules and laws which can never be violated. But a course in the History of Math shows that these rules in fact are not static and change over time: Calculus is a (relatively) recent invention, one that Newton and Leibniz argued with each other over and engaged in an academic debate about. The curriculum--the "establishment"--at one point was in a state of flux, even if the rules that curriculum proclaims are taught today as if they have always been universal truths. And yet, this does not invalidate the basic laws and forumla of Calculus in any way. Newton and Leibniz's Derivatives and Integrals were always proveable: the means to prove them had simply not yet been invented.
Likewise, I think the best way to seduce an INFP is to recognize that insight can come from unexpected places and to demonstrate one such example from your own life.
As an INFP I can say that everything in this video is so correct. Especially the part where people can't make the conversation flowing. I always have a feeling that people don't know what to ask me and the whole conversation seems kinda unnatural. I think that's why I like the most people with strong Fe. You don't get that weird feelings with them.
"Life is a void of crap and darkness... OMG A PUPPY!!!!"
Haha I'm an INFP and this was on-point...the things I always fall for...
1. Having a compatible set of values (if you're flashy and materialistic it's an automatic no)
2. Having a very playful side, the world often feels overwhelmingly negative so I like a bit of childish escapism
3. Indulge me in the random new things I've been researching (currently cults, ex-mormons and Myers Briggs...no idea what it'll be next week!)
4. Be affectionate
5. Be up for adventures
6. Think about your actions and be critical, never do things because society says so...I don't like sheep
7. And finally...help me with my chores, heaven knows I hate washing up, there is nothing more odious than repetitive, meaningless tasks!
"downloading all of this data" i loved the expression! for me it's very hard to talk freely about myself when meeting someone at the beginning so it's easy if they ask about my "data" with no judgement and so then i can start to be more flexible in the conversation, once i feel i'll be respected and not judged.
Another thing is I will say, even if an INFP seems like a happy ray of sunshine to you, don’t assume they are naive, stupid, innocent, unable to understand dark emotions, etc. We’re complex people who deal with life’s struggles just like anyone else, and just because we’re quiet doesn’t mean we don’t have a level of chaos to us.
Another thing is that since I value authenticity when interacting with other people, I tend to struggle socializing in environments like retail where you can’t appear stressed in front of customers, and there’s a hierarchy and power dynamics between people working together. I’m pretty bad at thinking of what to say that isn’t just. The truth of how I feel. So I often choose to say nothing when I can. If you want to seduce/befriend an INFP, try doing so in an environment where there’s no external pressure to behave an inauthentic way.
Edit: also literally the greatest gift to me is when people choose to watch, on their own, a show that I really like. Then I can talk about the characters with them knowing they understand what I’m talking about.
In my experience as an INTP, INFPs've never been a type I've thought to seduce-rather I get them sometimes expressing interest in me on their own. And while I do find 'em kinda cute & endearing, I don't think we'd work out all that well in the long haul as more than close friends-but they actually seem pretty cool w/ that, & don't continue to press for more & test boundaries like other types.
I agree, I can see INTPs and INFPs as friends
INFPs & ENTPs have pretty good romantic chemistry, though, from what I've seen.
Honestly I'm surprised my INTP husband even fell for me since I just annoyed him with my personal problems and didn't really listen to his advice. Lmao. But we're definitely bestfriends as much as we are a couple! And surprisingly we don't get sick of each other often. We're very good at giving each other space, which is needed since we work two jobs together and see each other all the time at home, haha.
Also, I've begun realizing today there's a high probability I might actually be INFP myself, rather than INTP...
it’s an INFP trait to give people their space. Regarding INTPs, I get along pretty well with them. Some are too rambly for my liking, some are extremely fun to be around and sarcastic as hell
As an INFP, I just love it when my partner links my life decisions and my thoughts and outlooks to my personality type. It makes me feel understood. The fact that they've gone out of their way to understand why I've made the decisions that I have is priceless.
Just patiently waiting for someone to show up and efficiently solve all my problems
Great vid as usual nathan😊
Yeah I have a deep admiration for people who can think analytically and make logical decisions. Like this guy today was talking about all the reasons he wanted to be an ICU nurse and why it made sense. For me it can be hard to make important life decisions, I have to think about what I like from previous experiences, which can be hard to sort through, and even then my extraverted intuition is still open to new information that can change my perspective/life plans. So yeah whenever someone just lays it out of why a certain thing is better, and they are someone whom I trust, and it is something I wish to learn about, then I am glued to what they say because I can apply it to my life. Of course it has to resonate with me too. -INFP
I really like the way you phrased that closing remark - "You'll often find that there is quite a lot of wisdom in the things they say. It's often just not packaged in the way you would normally expect."
I feel that.
Personally, I sometimes talk alot about myself because the person I'm talking to makes me feel comfortable and I don't get this chance much but once I realized that I had been talking alot about myself I apologize and ask about them because I equally care about what they have to say. Also, of course be yourself, show us the real you and if we like you we like you, if we don't then... Give up I guess? :)
Other tips:
Be authentic and act with integrity.
Stand up for the bullied and draw attention to the ignored.
Tell us how our ideas, actions, and words make you feel.
Replace skepticism with curiosity and give individuals the benefit of the doubt.
Don't be afraid to challenge us but do it in a friendly and cheeky way.
SPOT ON! Authenticity comes to the very first for sure. Someone who is pretending to act in a certain way can hardly be a person infps can trust.
Stand up for the bullied and draw attention to the ignored.---yeah but only if that is what they truly believe in. If it is a put on, I will know right away and lose respect for them.
My bf (ISTJ) is a beacon of stability and, along that, predictability. We have a long relationship and yes, I get 'seduced' by crazy, inspiring guys, but my lovely boy who will sort all the chaos in my head (and can also seriously discuss a problem by seeing all the possibilities just as me, but filters all the absurd and paranoid ones) is all that I need in the end.
As an INFP, it was both uncomfortable and hilarious to be read like this...and I now find myself attracted to this man...
That whole shit of it's hard for us to keep a conversation unless it's something we are super passionate about and then you cant shut us up... i felt that
This is the funniest video I've seen about my type! INTPs and INFPs are from such different worlds - often drawn to each other yet can't stand each other if too much time is spent together 😂😂😂
Haha great vid Nathan. I was JUST excitedly brainstorming ways to love on someone via the inferior function yesterday! It's great advice...I mean, clearly, since at least 2 of us thought of it 😆 And I know soooo many INFPs who have acts of service as their primary love language, particularly when it comes to receiving. It has always made sense to me given our yearning for Te proficiency 😋 Personally, it is very attractive to me when someone isn't scared to "play" with me...push me around with ideas and opinions, play a joke on me, don't be scared to see how I react. I interpret that as someone thinking I'm solid. Honestly...love us how you want...the thing that we will pick up on is if you reeeeallllyy mean it. If you do, it's less likely to matter how you do it. Show us your spectrum of Truth.
This is awesome, haha. The bit about our personalities never really sitting still, jumping into new phases and perspectives, was perfect. Whether others have also listened to Jack Kornfield or not, I think a lot of us INFPs can resonate with a notion that he brings up - that it's good to 'hold identity lightly' so that we're never too rigidly confined in our ways to engage with new ideas - which is always exciting. It gives us new places to wander through.
'There is quite a lot of wisdom in the things they say, it's often just not packaged in the way you would normally expect'. Yes!
I'm an infp and I find gifts that have multiple different uses are extremely well received by me, I have to keep my environment ad streamlined as possible so i can afford to sort through my very scattered brain, I get very easily overwhelmed by my own clutter so I really appreciate being told new ways to use everyday items that I've never thought of before
Your right eyebrow had a rough night I see.
I finally feel like someone truly understands me. I just recently broke up with a long term boyfriend, because I started feeling like I was trapped, and been back on the market, but everyone that tries to go after me I don't even give them the time of day. I feel like they just want to use me or just want a quick hook up so why even entertain the thought. At the end of the day I already know what my decision is and I hate wasting other peoples time and vice versa. My friends have been getting on me for not giving these guys a chance and are starting to think I'm crazy for not going after these men too. It's so alleviating to see that I'm not some weird person that doesn't know how to love or is confuse on what they want and that they're many more people like me in this world.
As an INFP I can say literally all of this is accurate😂
As an INFP I feel this so much. It’s like if you ask me about something I’m interested in, I’m like “okay first I just wanna say thank you for asking, now I wanna answer you but if I yap too much just let me know” when he said it might be packaged differently I felt that too bc I sometimes I just struggle to get to the bottom line and keep it concise. It doesn’t help that I’m constantly speaking in metaphors 😂
Hell yeah😂
Brilliant I'm an INFP and I've never felt so understood before 😊💙
J Makathi that’s great to hear!
idk how you do it but you always get every personality type spot on. like i genuinely feel understood whenever i come onto this channel. thank you
Just a friendly reminder, don't overdo anything. We need to have a connection with someone. If there is no connection, other things just won't work.
Why is EVERYTHING in this video so insanely accurate.
As an infp I'm just noticing his deadly eyebrows 🔥 .
Here’s one line that always gets me
“Hello”
Well, this is currently my favorite youtube channel, from videos to comments. And I discovered it 2 days ago.👍
- a very impressed infp
Glad to hear it! When you're ready feel free to join our Discord server. I created it precisely to bring together the people in the comments section so that they could interact in a real-time way. The link is in the descriptions of most of the videos ~ Nathan
I have never heard someone so concisely describe how an INFP processes things. As an INFP myself, obviously doing much self reflection and understanding, I feel very happy being understood. And I agree with all said in this vid😂💛
*_haha what a unique series mate, gonna love it!_*
I'm an INTJ long-term dating an INFP, and they for sure are a puzzle and full of contrasts! The doomthinking about love and the bleak state of society is hard to fend off, and the absolute refusal to be nudged into things, not out of fear or a logical reason but simply to maintain their agency, even if it would be helpful to them, is plain confusing for my control freak tendencies (what, I just love to help my loved ones!) They can be absolutely stubborn in a completely different way than I am, and it can feel very arbitrary.
But they're authentic and ultimately true to who they are, even if it seems to scare them at times, deep thinkers and dreamers who can hold amazing conversations, truly want to understand you and for you to be the best version of yourself, and I like digging deeper into some of the many ideas their Ne will bring :)
I have never in my life watched a video that describes me so accurately. Every second of this video is true for me. I feel scared.. what the hell, lol. And also so many people in the comments saying the same things I'm thinking..how?!?
Glad you resonated with it! ~ Nathan
Be from the heart, be self aware, understand life is not just always linear & logical, and realize the difference between being smart & intelligent. Thank You
Just the thought of someone helping me doing things efficiently while respecting my space sent huge bursts of dopamine in my brain.
I am a INFP English guy in love with a INFP American girl and I endorse this video.
My love really shows me how we INFPs have such a wide range of moods and feelings from macabre melancholy to witty cynicism to whimsical joy to nostalgic romanticism. You really need to be able to appreciate the roller coaster ride that are INFP moods and how to know how to treat us right.
mate, you’re blowing my mind, you’re definitely worth subscribing!!!!
Glad you’re enjoying the videos! ~ Nathan
This made me laugh. It's like someone's making jokes about you and it's way too accurate.
It's quite true, how we simply adore talking about things *we* find important. Funny how from listening wide-eyed dolls, we turn 180 degrees within ourselves when we've been given the chance.
But does anyone experience people ever zoning out the moment they start talking? I wondered if it's lack of Fe to capture people, or something at least rather capable of being applicated to all INFPs?
Maybe because we express our thought with Ne it may be hard for sensors to follow us?
@@NathanJGlass
Oh, indeed. I suppose the ideal example through fiction would be Anne of Green Gables; though most INFPs lack such charisma, which is why that's quite an ideal for us to be.
Self-interruptions and long sentences sometimes with their ends and beginnings and middle, chaotically ordered, and the low tone of voice for some, does make one retreat to writing as a safe haven to...exist in.
From what I've gathered (INFP btw) we zone out when the subject doesn't have "value" or doesn't interest *us* , or require our participation.
Usually, this doesn't happen to very often me personally when I'm in a 1-on-1 situation, but if I'm in a group setting and someone is talking about something that I can't come and give input on - I might fly off to my dreams lol
It's easier to listen over text, because you can reread the information given and then respond to it. That's why most of us despise phone calls.
Maybe it's just rude or unintelligent/not-sensitive people. Don't bother.
So many people here try to talk about INFP´s (even INFP´s themselves), and I got used to listenting theese kind of half-understood statements. Howevver when I listen to what you are saying, it feels much more precise, you go in depth and really seek to understand why - and you also succeed in your research mostly. I just wanted to say you are very good in what you do and your mind is so interesting! Thumbs up!
How to seduce us: be authentic and trustworthy (we'll figure it out if you're not). Be playful and flexible. Sometimes we want to sit around and bounce ideas back and forth about psychology or ethics or whether free will exists. Sometimes we wanna go on adventures. Often witty banter and finding reasons to laugh together is enough. Ask before you offer advice. When we tell you what's hurting us, just listen and say things like, "I'm sorry; that's really [insert appropriate adjective here]." Show us you care with hugs or getting us to laugh (after we're done venting). Remind us to have healthy boundaries; we often give too much of ourselves to the people we care about, but paradoxically we're always worried we aren't giving nearly enough, because we have this idea in our minds of how to be the perfect friend, which we can never live up to.
Spot on :) loved how you put this!
As a ESTP from my experiences with INFP’s you are spot on... however sitting through listening to y’alls feelings and not saying how to fix the problem is incredibly difficult for me any tips?
@@madeintheUSA10 Yes! Say things like: "I can imagine how hard/difficult (whatever applies) this might be for you. What can I do to help/make you feel better? Or "This (insert situation) sucks. Is there anything I could do for you/to help you?" That kind of response is really what I need. I hate it when I am given unsolicited advice, or when someone tries to convince me that I should feel differently than the way I feel or when they try to tell me how should I do things (if I haven't asked) I'm order for me to feel better.
Instead, if you want to offer genuine help, the best way is to actually ask how can you help.
At least this is what works best for me. I'm now teaching my friends and family because we are not taught these things and no-one can read other people's minds.
I hope that helped.