Guys please, they are humans just like us, truth is they do that to gaslight them and us to leave them alone! The inner child in them does this thinking of protecting themselves from you. Leave them alone, if you can't wait on them
Let's keep it simple. If they treated you in a way you would not accept anyone treating a child, someone you love and care about, etc. DON'T take them back. Their bad behavior is a character flaw. This is who they are because they were capable of doing it. There are no mistakes when it comes to someone's character. It's in them to conduct such bad behavior. They are and will be repeat offenders. I suggest you give warnings to the new prospects. You don't give second chances because you act in integrity where it never requires you needing a second chance. You only get one shot with me and if you took advantage because you presumed you would always have access....well dummy, you were warned!
Or hear me out here. Just move on. seriously, avoidants aren't even worth the head ache heart ache you name it. If a grown adult can't do basic communication than they can go kick rocks. Seriously this is just a grand excuse to play games. They know exactly what they're doing.
@youtubeaccountserio2633 ya that's something I've learned. To sum it up I figured that when a girl I talked to because that's how emotionally immature she is. Anyways, she said she's not the caller but the called. When she's the one who use to call everyday. She stopped calling and would text me to call her... which I found odd. Than one day she got upset I turned off phone notifications and was like " oh I thought you liked when I called" so she knew I enjoyed if she called me but would play some sick game of not calling me. Than theres the whole pretending your too busy to send a simple text or something when in reality she has no job. And they guilt you so bad for wanting something physical. You shouldn't ever feel awful for having feelings. It was almost as If I had to be a boyfriend to her but she couldn't commit to being a girlfriend. I grew up with manipulators around me and this one tool longer than usual to sniff out. They really put up a whole different persona at first. They complain they hate silent treatmensf and fake people but that's what they do to others.
Too much risk, I wouldn't take the risk, because it's highly probable that they'll do the same thing in some time, it's very hard to trust them, especially after they suddenly abandoned you. There are no second or another chances with me, if he abandons me, there's no point in coming back to me... Best wishes for everyone 🤗🤗
I was in a relationship for eight years with an emotionally immature/avoidant dismissive person. I just couldn’t figure out her behavior, but I constantly questioned it throughout our relationship. Some of the behaviors were very similar to a narcissistic person, but it didn’t fit quite right with her personality type. It has taken me several hundreds of videos to start understanding and figuring out that she was basically an avoidant. The eight years that I was with her were good when the good times were wonderful and were bad awful whenever the times were not good. There were always unresolved issues, silent treatment, cold, and stonewalling dismissive behavior. We just simply couldn’t resolve some of the smallest things we used to fight about. She was never able to take accountability for her actions. I ended the relationship because I had enough of the emotional abuse. I knew that it wasn’t going to get any better. There was also a 12 year age difference between us and I knew that I did not have enough time to keep wasting the way she did. It really really hurt me to have to let go of her because I genuinely loved her and I spent so much time invested in this relationship, trying to make it work, trying to understand her, trying to work around her triggers. I kept putting myself last. When I broke up with her, I had a conversation with her that I had already been trying for many years to get her to understand my needs And how she was just not meeting them no matter how much I explained to her. She just would not get it no matter what. So I told her that would be best for her to move out since she was living in my house and for her to move back home with her parents and to work on herself And do her own thing for now. I told her it would be best for us to just separate because if we continued, we would just keep making ourselves unhappy. It was a really sad moment for me to see her have to pack her things and leave, but she did. Once she was gone, I continued to help her. I loved her so much that I cared how she was doing back in her hometown. I continue to pay for her cell phone. I’d send her money when she needed it. I’d always make sure that she had what she needed to start on her own kind of like mother and child. which is not a good thing for me to have done, but I did because I cared. I was just waiting for her to really work on herself, but essentially all she did was become insecure even more than what she was and always accuse me of going out on dates or meeting different women. it was all or nothing. One night I went out with a friend to a comedy club and we took a picture with the comedian. I posted that on my social media and she saw it. She ended up taking a screenshot of that picture. Send it to me and basically tells me that it looks like I’m happy and I found somebody new and told me to have a nice life. She ended up blocking me from everything right after that. I had no say so. I wasn’t able to defend myself or explain anything to her. It really upset me so much that this was the way she chose to end the communication with me. months later she sent me a message to tell me that she no longer need the phone that I was paying for. That she had bought her own cell phone now. No apologies no nothing no closure. I’ll never ignore those red flags ever again.
I’ve had a similar experience. I definitely can relate. She took my mental health down, so much! I’m working on myself now and emotionally letting her go. It hurts to know how much love and time I invested with so little reciprocation. But part of that is my own fault for excepting less than I deserved and not setting healthy boundaries with her throughout the relationship. I still love her and I miss her. But I won’t miss the anxiety, mental illness, stress, self doubt, lack of reciprocation, poor communication skills and hot and cold intimacy. I’m done. I deserve so much more. Lesson learned. I’ll never date an avoidant again.
6yrs for me, He broke up with me twice, during that time, and then behaved like it never happened... just brushed EVERYTHING under the carpet. Yes it DID happen and why should I trust him?
They came back and did the same thing. I never want to go through it all over again. They did not love me. They monkey branched again. 😢💔 The second discard is far more brutal than the first - it is true. It’s a choice they made to discard us like trash.
I blocked him on social media, not out of pettiness but self-care. You don’t want me around fine but I won’t be your fan. We never were friends we were a couple. I can’t see him as a friend. I rather not know what he’s up to or entertaining.
I totally agree. It’s about my well being. I don’t have to pretend I’m doing well, I can just take care of myself. We are not friends, we were lovers. You can live your life without me as you requested.
What do you call someone who avoids taking personal responsibility, avoids facing up to themselves, avoids ‘doing the work’ and teaches you how to walk expertly on eggshells before discarding your sorry arse in order to sabotage a good thing ? Your ex !
@@deanekarstaedt8182 there’s really no difference in their actions, supposedly just in their intent. A severe avoidant can be just as devastating as a real deal narcissist
@@cspace1234nz True, but intent is important. I think an avoidant is more likely to have an epiphany and be penitent as opposed to the narcissist who never turns, is always on a self centered agenda, and lacking empathy. You're right, both can be devastating.
@@deanekarstaedt8182 ….given that as they get older and continue to enter into relationships to enjoy a few months worth of pleasure before they sabotage the relationship and do so knowingly, I would say there’s considerable disingenuous intent. They come to a point where they know how it will end up and do so anyway. Just because all these videos draw such a distinction doesn’t make it so. There’s a reason what it’s referred to as ‘attachment theory’
Still be careful bc if they are more of a narcissist than just avoidant, they will say all of these things! Not bc they mean it, but bc they're the right things to say... so you should be careful discerning if they "pretend to mean it" or not. My advice is that if you left them/ they left you it was for a reason, better to move forward.
People ought to be responsible for their actions, but we are ALL responsible for our own feelings. So, in some respects, you are absolutely correct, Ryan!
I hurt so much I won’t take him back! 18 years wasted! Coach, I’m wondering how long it takes for severe avoidant take to be a self-reflect after therapy? He’s been seeing 10 months, once a week. But no I don’t want him back, but waiting to pay back as soon as he has a self-reflection! We have kids together but I really don’t trust him again!
she is dead to me after catching her cheating on me with her old married ex. She cheated, lied, hide, stonewalled, breadcrumbs and ghosted me. So, person like this isn't worth for nobody.
13 months after I broke off with her after a slow fade, now she is looking my story’s ever day. Ryan is right, she did not do anything and want a easy access again
Thank you for your insight on this attachment style. Your videos are a great source of information and comfort to me. I’m in a relationship with what appears a text book DA. Unfortunately, I’m financially linked to this idiot and I’m trying to figure how to get out. Cheers from Down Under 🇦🇺
Man I am in the same boat down under. Northern territory. My DA and I were set to get married December 2024, she started to slow fade away and then ghosted me. I find out through her auntie she went to visit her in Dubai without telling me anything. Then after finding out I know she sent me a break up text no call after 2 year relationship. While I worked and made money she used that to go to Dubai without me to enjoy her life. Talk about selfish ay. I just can’t believe how she could do something like that without any remorse.
@OutbackAnime Yeah, it's a real sense of entitlement. Like you're lucky to be orbiting in the same solar system with them. I think some Avoidants border covert narcissism at least mine can and does. Good luck. I hope you recover well.
@@Apbt-rv7zw ye. At least I have learnt a valuable lesson. To be more selfish and take care of my needs more. I have always thought being a man means sacrificing one’s needs for others. But I have learnt that people will walk over you if you don’t take for yourself. From now on I will spend my own money on myself first looks maxing, education maxing, healthy foods etc. then out of the abundance I will provide for my women. No longer pointlessly sacrifice for ungrateful people.
@@Apbt-rv7zw I agree with the CN.. I can see the narcissism traits now I have stepped back and educating myself with this attachment style. I totally understand the sense of entitlement .. mine displays similar traits. Currently, he is actively trying to ‘hook up’ with an ex girlfriend via text, bread-crumbing her. I haven’t confronted him yet.. (he left his old iPhone at my place). Good luck with removing yourself from your partner, but aren’t you glad you know what she is.
3:32 Also have to be careful with this. They may have been in therapy just long enough to learn all the things to say but not actually mean it, and are just saying it to use you for a quick hit of validation/comfort/etc before they leave again. They can be "sorry" all they want, but they usually aren't.
I was in a short term relationship, only 3-4 months and she was really into me, very affectionate and seemed to be serious. Then literally overnight she disconnected for various reasons and shut down her feelings. Became very cold and distant and almost seemed annoyed whenever we spoke. She felt I didn't accept her and didn't show her enough care, attention and compliments through my words and actions and thought I wasn't happy myself over a specific issue. Anyway for the next two weeks then I tried my best to "reconnect" with her. Reiterated my intentions and that I wanted to make things work with, sent her a gift, texted and called more consistently but was still balanced, I didn't go crazy but she was still being cold and distant. Then the other day, we met and although she wanted to just hang out and see how things go and not talk about us, I needed to know what was going on. I asked quite a few times but in between we still hung out, chatted and just had a nice time together. But eventually she ended it as I was about to leave. I did really like this girl. I felt a strong connection and spark which is rare to find, the physical attraction, also hard to find but I sense she has emotionally checked out.
I love your material and videos. Please do a video about avoidants in marriages and how to deal with that dynamics when distance or when they want they want a divorce after they think they lost feelings....? Do their feelings come back? How do you deal with that situation if you are married ?
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really loved him so much I can’t stop thinking about him, I’ve tried my very best to get him back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of him, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss him and just can’t stop thinking about him
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back.
I appreciate you providing this important information; I've just checked him up online. striking I just checked Father Obah Eze online, and wow, he's really genuine. Thank you so much again ❤
I don’t get it. How do people marry avoidants? From other videos, avoidants never want to discuss the future, share their finances, blend you with their families, or share deep feelings and commit. How does marriage and relationships of 10+ years even happen? Doesn’t marriage entail all of these things? That doesn’t sound like avoidants at all?! Please, someone who was married, explain this.
As someone who was brought up Southern Baptist, relationships move abnormally quickly, and I suspect they do that in the secular world as well if there's a strong-enough trauma bond. I've seen people in the church get married after only about 6 months of dating, if that.
I met a DA 10 months ago. It was love at first kiss. There was so much affection, attention, body contact, love, presents etc. When some things were weird I just took them as his character. By weird I mean saying things like: No one wants a lice like this in one's fur... referring to a relationship and spending the rest of the afternoon with me. After meeting the family for the second time I got discarded 6 weeks after with limited contact because the family liked me too much. He was scared of being replaced by me. Seriously. Thank Coach Ryan for his videos. Not crying on the bathroom floor. Otherwise I couldn't have made any sense of it.
@@cornwallismorgan874 @cornwallismorgan874 That's nothing. A huge part of the human population goes straight to an arranged marriage. No dating. Any issues are sorted out during the marriage. Or, at least there are attempts to sort these out. This is typical for Muslims, most people in India, et cetera. Dating just isn't a thing for many.
UPDATE: Hi Coach, My fearful avoidant ex who has me blocked everywhere (2 months so far, after he posted an Instagram note “Rotating because I can’t see you with someone else 😔” and a few days later I mirrored it by posting an Instagram note “Rotating because I can’t see me with someone else either 😔) recently posted these lyrics in his Instagram bio “When the rain falls down in Kansas, when I hear “Dust in the Wind” from the song “Missin You Like This” by Post Malone. He has kept these lyrics in his bio for about 2 weeks so far. He has used song lyrics/cryptic messages before. Is this a sign that he is in a reflective phase and might reach out?
@@ik6577that’s where I am conflicted. When he first started dating, he said “thanks for showing me that I can find love”. So I think I he thinks he is unlovable and that replays over and over in my head and that’s where I feel bad for him.
@@pw2pgeven is he thinks this about himself, its up to him to do something about it. You feeling bad for him isn't going to help him do anything differently. I think its best to not enable the behavior.
They will. All my Avoidant exes came back after a half or 1 year. But I didn´t wanted them back, because they swept everything under the rug. You don´t want that. Only give them a chance, if they earned a chance. But be sure. They will come back or at least try to come back
If they 1.cheated 2.monkeybranched or 3.rebounded, then do not take them back. You're better off without that.
If they turn up at all don’t take them back, unless of course you’re addicted to misery pain and suffering
Guys please, they are humans just like us, truth is they do that to gaslight them and us to leave them alone! The inner child in them does this thinking of protecting themselves from you. Leave them alone, if you can't wait on them
Let's keep it simple. If they treated you in a way you would not accept anyone treating a child, someone you love and care about, etc. DON'T take them back. Their bad behavior is a character flaw. This is who they are because they were capable of doing it. There are no mistakes when it comes to someone's character. It's in them to conduct such bad behavior. They are and will be repeat offenders. I suggest you give warnings to the new prospects. You don't give second chances because you act in integrity where it never requires you needing a second chance. You only get one shot with me and if you took advantage because you presumed you would always have access....well dummy, you were warned!
@@barbara6840 Easily agreed 👍🏻
@@je098-j2l No one deserves to "wait" on anyone. That expectation alone is gross.
Or hear me out here. Just move on. seriously, avoidants aren't even worth the head ache heart ache you name it. If a grown adult can't do basic communication than they can go kick rocks. Seriously this is just a grand excuse to play games. They know exactly what they're doing.
This!!
They know what they’re doing for sure! They are better manipulators then npds
@youtubeaccountserio2633 ya that's something I've learned. To sum it up I figured that when a girl I talked to because that's how emotionally immature she is. Anyways, she said she's not the caller but the called. When she's the one who use to call everyday. She stopped calling and would text me to call her... which I found odd. Than one day she got upset I turned off phone notifications and was like " oh I thought you liked when I called" so she knew I enjoyed if she called me but would play some sick game of not calling me. Than theres the whole pretending your too busy to send a simple text or something when in reality she has no job. And they guilt you so bad for wanting something physical. You shouldn't ever feel awful for having feelings. It was almost as If I had to be a boyfriend to her but she couldn't commit to being a girlfriend. I grew up with manipulators around me and this one tool longer than usual to sniff out. They really put up a whole different persona at first. They complain they hate silent treatmensf and fake people but that's what they do to others.
Too much risk, I wouldn't take the risk, because it's highly probable that they'll do the same thing in some time, it's very hard to trust them, especially after they suddenly abandoned you. There are no second or another chances with me, if he abandons me, there's no point in coming back to me... Best wishes for everyone 🤗🤗
I was in a relationship for eight years with an emotionally immature/avoidant dismissive person. I just couldn’t figure out her behavior, but I constantly questioned it throughout our relationship. Some of the behaviors were very similar to a narcissistic person, but it didn’t fit quite right with her personality type. It has taken me several hundreds of videos to start understanding and figuring out that she was basically an avoidant. The eight years that I was with her were good when the good times were wonderful and were bad awful whenever the times were not good. There were always unresolved issues, silent treatment, cold, and stonewalling dismissive behavior. We just simply couldn’t resolve some of the smallest things we used to fight about. She was never able to take accountability for her actions. I ended the relationship because I had enough of the emotional abuse. I knew that it wasn’t going to get any better. There was also a 12 year age difference between us and I knew that I did not have enough time to keep wasting the way she did. It really really hurt me to have to let go of her because I genuinely loved her and I spent so much time invested in this relationship, trying to make it work, trying to understand her, trying to work around her triggers. I kept putting myself last. When I broke up with her, I had a conversation with her that I had already been trying for many years to get her to understand my needs And how she was just not meeting them no matter how much I explained to her. She just would not get it no matter what. So I told her that would be best for her to move out since she was living in my house and for her to move back home with her parents and to work on herself And do her own thing for now. I told her it would be best for us to just separate because if we continued, we would just keep making ourselves unhappy. It was a really sad moment for me to see her have to pack her things and leave, but she did. Once she was gone, I continued to help her. I loved her so much that I cared how she was doing back in her hometown. I continue to pay for her cell phone. I’d send her money when she needed it. I’d always make sure that she had what she needed to start on her own kind of like mother and child. which is not a good thing for me to have done, but I did because I cared. I was just waiting for her to really work on herself, but essentially all she did was become insecure even more than what she was and always accuse me of going out on dates or meeting different women. it was all or nothing. One night I went out with a friend to a comedy club and we took a picture with the comedian. I posted that on my social media and she saw it. She ended up taking a screenshot of that picture. Send it to me and basically tells me that it looks like I’m happy and I found somebody new and told me to have a nice life. She ended up blocking me from everything right after that. I had no say so. I wasn’t able to defend myself or explain anything to her. It really upset me so much that this was the way she chose to end the communication with me. months later she sent me a message to tell me that she no longer need the phone that I was paying for. That she had bought her own cell phone now. No apologies no nothing no closure. I’ll never ignore those red flags ever again.
I’ve had a similar experience. I definitely can relate. She took my mental health down, so much! I’m working on myself now and emotionally letting her go. It hurts to know how much love and time I invested with so little reciprocation. But part of that is my own fault for excepting less than I deserved and not setting healthy boundaries with her throughout the relationship. I still love her and I miss her. But I won’t miss the anxiety, mental illness, stress, self doubt, lack of reciprocation, poor communication skills and hot and cold intimacy. I’m done. I deserve so much more. Lesson learned. I’ll never date an avoidant again.
6yrs for me,
He broke up with me twice, during that time, and then behaved like it never happened... just brushed EVERYTHING under the carpet.
Yes it DID happen and why should I trust him?
@@MrOldskool1974 It wasn't your fault.
@@TheCloggydoggy thank you 🙏🏻
@@TheCloggydoggy never again, I hope you heal and find yourself happier now ❤️
They came back and did the same thing. I never want to go through it all over again. They did not love me. They monkey branched again. 😢💔
The second discard is far more brutal than the first - it is true. It’s a choice they made to discard us like trash.
I blocked him on social media, not out of pettiness but self-care. You don’t want me around fine but I won’t be your fan. We never were friends we were a couple. I can’t see him as a friend. I rather not know what he’s up to or entertaining.
I totally agree. It’s about my well being. I don’t have to pretend I’m doing well, I can just take care of myself. We are not friends, we were lovers. You can live your life without me as you requested.
What do you call someone who avoids taking personal responsibility, avoids facing up to themselves, avoids ‘doing the work’ and teaches you how to walk expertly on eggshells before discarding your sorry arse in order to sabotage a good thing ?
Your ex !
I think that would be called a narcissist
@@deanekarstaedt8182 there’s really no difference in their actions, supposedly just in their intent. A severe avoidant can be just as devastating as a real deal narcissist
@@cspace1234nz True, but intent is important. I think an avoidant is more likely to have an epiphany and be penitent as opposed to the narcissist who never turns, is always on a self centered agenda, and lacking empathy.
You're right, both can be devastating.
They’re intent is different but they strike like narcissists
@@deanekarstaedt8182 ….given that as they get older and continue to enter into relationships to enjoy a few months worth of pleasure before they sabotage the relationship and do so knowingly, I would say there’s considerable disingenuous intent. They come to a point where they know how it will end up and do so anyway. Just because all these videos draw such a distinction doesn’t make it so. There’s a reason what it’s referred to as ‘attachment theory’
Still be careful bc if they are more of a narcissist than just avoidant, they will say all of these things! Not bc they mean it, but bc they're the right things to say... so you should be careful discerning if they "pretend to mean it" or not. My advice is that if you left them/ they left you it was for a reason, better to move forward.
Mine was an npd a vulnerable one and also had autism so overall sociopathy
This is so helpful- I really can’t take my heart being broken a second time.. 💔💔
People ought to be responsible for their actions, but we are ALL responsible for our own feelings.
So, in some respects, you are absolutely correct, Ryan!
Make the effort, do the work and show your change.
I hurt so much I won’t take him back! 18 years wasted!
Coach, I’m wondering how long it takes for severe avoidant take to be a self-reflect after therapy? He’s been seeing 10 months, once a week. But no I don’t want him back, but waiting to pay back as soon as he has a self-reflection! We have kids together but I really don’t trust him again!
she is dead to me after catching her cheating on me with her old married ex. She cheated, lied, hide, stonewalled, breadcrumbs and ghosted me. So, person like this isn't worth for nobody.
Agree!
Show me a leopard who voluntarily sheds it's spots...
13 months after I broke off with her after a slow fade, now she is looking my story’s ever day. Ryan is right, she did not do anything and want a easy access again
Thank you for your insight on this attachment style. Your videos are a great source of information and comfort to me. I’m in a relationship with what appears a text book DA.
Unfortunately, I’m financially linked to this idiot and I’m trying to figure how to get out. Cheers from Down Under 🇦🇺
I'm in the same boat, too... typical DA. She won't change. I'll move on and now to separate assets. Life's lessons.
Down Under too, WA
Man I am in the same boat down under. Northern territory. My DA and I were set to get married December 2024, she started to slow fade away and then ghosted me. I find out through her auntie she went to visit her in Dubai without telling me anything. Then after finding out I know she sent me a break up text no call after 2 year relationship. While I worked and made money she used that to go to Dubai without me to enjoy her life. Talk about selfish ay. I just can’t believe how she could do something like that without any remorse.
@OutbackAnime Yeah, it's a real sense of entitlement. Like you're lucky to be orbiting in the same solar system with them. I think some Avoidants border covert narcissism at least mine can and does. Good luck. I hope you recover well.
@@Apbt-rv7zw ye. At least I have learnt a valuable lesson. To be more selfish and take care of my needs more. I have always thought being a man means sacrificing one’s needs for others. But I have learnt that people will walk over you if you don’t take for yourself. From now on I will spend my own money on myself first looks maxing, education maxing, healthy foods etc. then out of the abundance I will provide for my women. No longer pointlessly sacrifice for ungrateful people.
@@Apbt-rv7zw I agree with the CN..
I can see the narcissism traits now I have stepped back and educating myself with this attachment style.
I totally understand the sense of entitlement .. mine displays similar traits. Currently, he is actively trying to ‘hook up’ with an ex girlfriend via text, bread-crumbing her. I haven’t confronted him yet.. (he left his old iPhone at my place). Good luck with removing yourself from your partner, but aren’t you glad you know what she is.
3:32 Also have to be careful with this. They may have been in therapy just long enough to learn all the things to say but not actually mean it, and are just saying it to use you for a quick hit of validation/comfort/etc before they leave again. They can be "sorry" all they want, but they usually aren't.
Ty 🌹. Very helpful video. I will need your advice. Heard he wants to reconcile and I don't trust him.
🤗
How long did it take him to realize this?
Run! Run! Run. And work on you.
I was in a short term relationship, only 3-4 months and she was really into me, very affectionate and seemed to be serious. Then literally overnight she disconnected for various reasons and shut down her feelings. Became very cold and distant and almost seemed annoyed whenever we spoke. She felt I didn't accept her and didn't show her enough care, attention and compliments through my words and actions and thought I wasn't happy myself over a specific issue.
Anyway for the next two weeks then I tried my best to "reconnect" with her. Reiterated my intentions and that I wanted to make things work with, sent her a gift, texted and called more consistently but was still balanced, I didn't go crazy but she was still being cold and distant. Then the other day, we met and although she wanted to just hang out and see how things go and not talk about us, I needed to know what was going on. I asked quite a few times but in between we still hung out, chatted and just had a nice time together. But eventually she ended it as I was about to leave.
I did really like this girl. I felt a strong connection and spark which is rare to find, the physical attraction, also hard to find but I sense she has emotionally checked out.
They came back and did the same thing. I never want to go through it all over again. They did not love me. They monkey branched again. 😢💔
I left him and got divorced without a word...
fantastic advice
Great advice!!
Very good video.
Excellent video. Thank you!
I get the occasional like on my Facebook posts. I give NO response.
This is good!
Trying to find a psychologist/counsellor well educated in attachment isnt easy.
Coach Ryan the guy in this video does 1:1 sessions. Sign up!
I love your material and videos. Please do a video about avoidants in marriages and how to deal with that dynamics when distance or when they want they want a divorce after they think they lost feelings....? Do their feelings come back? How do you deal with that situation if you are married ?
I filed divorce!
Jesus! Im scared I might end up there
I'd like to see something about this as well.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really loved him so much I can’t stop thinking about him, I’ve tried my very best to get him back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of him, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss him and just can’t stop thinking about him
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back.
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him?
His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.
I appreciate you providing this important information; I've just checked him up online. striking I just checked Father Obah Eze online, and wow, he's really genuine. Thank you so much again ❤
What if I told them it's sad for me but I forgive them and let them go before I ended it and started "no contact"?
Who is the lady in the picture on your laptop?
I don’t get it. How do people marry avoidants? From other videos, avoidants never want to discuss the future, share their finances, blend you with their families, or share deep feelings and commit. How does marriage and relationships of 10+ years even happen? Doesn’t marriage entail all of these things? That doesn’t sound like avoidants at all?! Please, someone who was married, explain this.
They always come back hoovering thats why
As someone who was brought up Southern Baptist, relationships move abnormally quickly, and I suspect they do that in the secular world as well if there's a strong-enough trauma bond. I've seen people in the church get married after only about 6 months of dating, if that.
I met a DA 10 months ago. It was love at first kiss. There was so much affection, attention, body contact, love, presents etc. When some things were weird I just took them as his character. By weird I mean saying things like: No one wants a lice like this in one's fur... referring to a relationship and spending the rest of the afternoon with me. After meeting the family for the second time I got discarded 6 weeks after with limited contact because the family liked me too much. He was scared of being replaced by me. Seriously. Thank Coach Ryan for his videos. Not crying on the bathroom floor. Otherwise I couldn't have made any sense of it.
Simple just roomates with benefits 😅😅 thats all
@@cornwallismorgan874
@cornwallismorgan874
That's nothing. A huge part of the human population goes straight to an arranged marriage. No dating. Any issues are sorted out during the marriage. Or, at least there are attempts to sort these out.
This is typical for Muslims, most people in India, et cetera. Dating just isn't a thing for many.
Perfect👍
UPDATE: Hi Coach, My fearful avoidant ex who has me blocked everywhere (2 months so far, after he posted an Instagram note “Rotating because I can’t see you with someone else 😔” and a few days later I mirrored it by posting an Instagram note “Rotating because I can’t see me with someone else either 😔) recently posted these lyrics in his Instagram bio “When the rain falls down in Kansas, when I hear “Dust in the Wind” from the song “Missin You Like This” by Post Malone. He has kept these lyrics in his bio for about 2 weeks so far. He has used song lyrics/cryptic messages before. Is this a sign that he is in a reflective phase and might reach out?
Why u want him back? Respect yourself , your time and rules. Don't look back
@@ik6577that’s where I am conflicted. When he first started dating, he said “thanks for showing me that I can find love”. So I think I he thinks he is unlovable and that replays over and over in my head and that’s where I feel bad for him.
@@pw2pgeven is he thinks this about himself, its up to him to do something about it. You feeling bad for him isn't going to help him do anything differently. I think its best to not enable the behavior.
@@Britt-b4xI totally agree. Well said. This guy is more work than he’s worth. The OP deserves a partner who cares about HER feelings.
But how do you know that they will be back.
They will. All my Avoidant exes came back after a half or 1 year. But I didn´t wanted them back, because they swept everything under the rug. You don´t want that. Only give them a chance, if they earned a chance. But be sure. They will come back or at least try to come back