The Ladies Coach I have been married for 26 years to my husband and I still deal with issues with my mother-in-law. My husband and I met when we were 17 years old. She accused me of taking her son away from her. Mind you, they are from Portugal but living in America for 50 years and I understand that the culture is very family oriented, however, after two children, she still treats me like I am a sidekick in that I am in the way of her and her child. Even though I love her, I have always helped her, I have always spoken kind to her, sometimes, you just have to pray and let go and give it up to God.
I deal with them from a distance. It is very uncomfortable being around family gatherings. My sister in law acts very rude when I'm in the same room. She rolls her eyes when I speak or just when I'm around. It is very embarrassing to say the least. Everyone follows suit with her, and they pick and choose when I'm invited to certain events. My daughter notices this behavior and asked my husband why his family treats her mom this way. He has no explanation and has been vocal that they needed to be respectful of his family. They did not listen, and we chose to not participate in any family gatherings moving forward. This wasn't something that just happened. This has been going on for more than seven years. I decided that I was going to live my life the way I want to. I'm grateful that I have a loving and supporting husband. He is very embarrassed of his family's actions.
I am very glad your husband has your back and that is key. I wish my Husband was more vocal and willing to stand up. Frankly, I think he has this enmeshment issue with them and is afraid of losing them. So I have to endure the things that they do toward me. I am afraid that my daughter will act out against me when she gets old enough because she is close with them, and she does it now at 4 when she is around them. They think its cute !! I don't know what to do.
They are not in laws yet, but it isn't his brother's that I have trouble with, it is the women of both brothers. The other one my fiancée's oldest brother was rude to me on many occasions. I cooked a whole Christmas Dinner for the family two years ago. I am Polish and I love to cook. My grandparents both taught me how to cook. I thank God for them. Debbie the one woman who shoved me out of the doorway, she raved how good the food was and said, "Wow Laurie", your food was so good I think that when the (the other daughter) gets married," "you can do the wedding catering". I thought she was serious. I guess not, she chose a caterer who served raw chicken or boneless overcooked chicken, some rank seared, no flavored zucchini, and even the onions had no taste. The other soon to be sister in law said to Lee and I , as we were looking for a seat to sit in, she looked at us and immediately said, "no, you don't sit here, you have assigned seats and those are in the corner with Lee's boys and wives. I have had some rifts with them but not as bad as what happened prior to that wedding. That woman rolled her eyes at me at the Christmas party that I cooked for. There was no reason but maybe I laughed a bit too loud and her daughter rolled her eyes at a different time before she did on the same night. I am not accepted because I am as old as the kids of these 3 brothers. They could all be my dad's expect the younger one but not by far. This is Lee's (going to be) third marriage. His first two wives passes away, and I am the third to be in this family .These people are too old to be fitting me into their family. Lee is an easy going man and his family means a great deal to him but it isn't like we see each other too often. I stopped that at the beginning. They like to play a lot of cards, I don't, they love Dominoes, I don't. (Except Dominoes Pizza). The woman who pushed me, her name is Debbie, I don't care if she knows she will never see this. We went on their boat one summer on Lake Michigan. They acted like I was never on a boat before and wanted me to compliment it. I didn't. I don't like boat unless I can drive it, I get sick otherwise. I have owned 3 boats with my ex husband and when we had a great deal of money. We even had one with a kitchen, sleeping quarter's and it was nice. Anyway, we get through the "no wake" area, and Lauren the husband , Lee's brother floors it. The wave were pounding and I was getting a headache and it was so so bright out there. We did this or about an hour of pounding and they were drinking. I didn't. We finally slowed down and went into this cove where the Lake Michigan had little parts of the lake that were smooth. They clearly say me gripping onto LEe like a little girl but kept going. We stopped FINALLY and Debbie was asking me questions about my family. I gave evasive answers, she has not earned the right to know anything about me. At this point, she never will. Two weddings, two bridal showers, a baby shower and lots of money has gone to there two thirty year old brats. I dont' want to go to the young Nicole's baby shower if they even can have kids. Lee does some very nice things for his family but they are always asking them to borrow this, or borrow that. I am 18 years younger than Lee, he is 69 so I am 51. I will most likely outlive him. There will be absolutely no contact with this family at all once we move out of Michigan and God forbid the other. I won't disrespect Lee in anyway around his family but I can just stay very evasive and one answers. THe mother passed two years ago. I think she liked me and it isn't if that I care if these people like me or not it is just easier if it is a two way street. I wish she didn't because we would go her old folks home and all her friends were there from when she was young, some even childhood. Really cool place. I tried my best to cater to her and listen and be nice. She was 95 and she had her suspicions about me but she grew to like me. We visited sometimes twice a week. I know she did not like the older brother's wife. She knew that she was her son's secretary and she slowly stole him away from his wife Carole. She is an organist for the church and never remarried because he broke her heart. I know her and I just love this woman. I was at Kayllee's shower and there was no one sitting next to Lee's mom when I walked in. I wore heels and I was standing straight and was about 6 4 with the heels. I am 6 1 but I am shrinking a bit. I was Lee's mom across the room and she waved me over and said, "no one is sitting here, have a seat". I sat and began talkin to her and the woman stealer sister in law of Lee's oldest brother walked up and said ," I was sitting there". I knew right there that Lee's mother did not like her AT ALL. She asked me to grab her purse which she had crammed in between the fireplace and her chair. It was stuffed into there pretty good, What a piece a work she is. Well, it is 3 years later and I can't stand that family, Debbie has done about 5 things to me that I let her get away with but once there is physical contact and it isn't friendly? There is no real repair after that. I felt sorry for Lee because he had to hear this for a month now. He wants to have a family meeting, I know it isn't going to work. He wants to invite them again to our timeshare apartment. I don't want them there. I will be friendly but will not have hospitality. They can eat and buy there own food and entertain themselves. I am not there to entertain them. We have a conference in Branson MO. and they aren't coming, 100.00 dollars a ticket, and they wouldn't understand a word of it anyway. Thanks for letting me talk. Have a great day.
Creating physical distance by moving away, refusing to attend social gatherings where toxic members are present, direct assertive responses are important. You can't always relay on a spouse to stand up for you in the heat of the moment, they may be absent, distracted, or in denial.
@@mauriciaannatkins I used to defend myself with my MIL. Then realised hubby will never take my side when I an also arguing. So I just stopped defending myself and would genuinely ask for emotional support from my husband for hurt fellings from comments his mom made during our gatherings. This actually worked as after 2-3 such ocassions he started paying attention and when she again was on to me asked her to leave me alone.
People are set in their ways and won't change (especially when everything is going their way). Just delete them out of your life and put them in a permanent trash bin. And move on.
I have been having to do that with my mother-in-law she has hurt me so many times it's unbelievable but I still found for forgiveness for her I've still forgiven her but she still hurt me all my friends don't realize what I go through with my boyfriend Only They Knew and if they knew they would feel very sorry for me cuz I have put up with a lot of BS from my boyfriend's family in him I have tolerated so much and I love him very dearly but I'm at the point to where I want to throw my hands up and say I'm done but a part of me says No and a part of me says yes he's my first and I don't want to lose him but I'm afraid I might have to because his mom tells him what he can and cannot do even though he's 18 he still listens to her and if he doesn't it's a big old fight I'm just tired I want somebody that will love me for me and give me what I deserve I know I sound like a terrible person but I don't like to sound like this but this is how I'm feeling and I do agree with your post I'm having to completely kick my mother-in-law out of my life it hurts me but that's what I got to do to keep my heart protected
@@katlindiaz7874 Does your own family love, support and protect you, or encourage you. If not, unless your boyfriend can put you first, he's not for you.
I learned not to voice any of my own opinions so they really will never know me because we won't agree on anything and they can't have a civil disagreement.
@Ophirian Princess yeah .. then they think am rude for not participating in their conversation. They totally ignore me( not that i have a problem with that). The more they ignore me ..the more am happy in my corner, it just my husand who complain that i show no interest on trying to communicate .. etc
I have been verbally abused and bullied by my in-laws, my husband has said he talked to them about it, but if I'm in their presence, they will still make sarcastic remarks to me etc. If my husband chooses to have a relationship with them, that's perfectly fine, but to protect my self worth, I just choose to stay away from them due to all the negativity.
yes, i would say make them get together for holidays a seperate day, but you should get to celebrate events the date off and they have to work around that because theyre the ones being jerks
I agree. My in-laws are coming for Christmas and I already feel anxious. I will try to have a lot of activities with my daughters around that time to stay away from them. And let them making fun of me as they wish.
My tip is also if your in-laws does not respect you and your marriage and always try to controlling your husband ,just cut them off.. out of your life, let your husband go by himself to family functions.
What if your husband is not a communicator, and he runs from conflict. I’ve dealt with this situation for 28 years. My in-laws have always been crappy to me. I’ve just learned to ignore it, and stay away as much as possible, because it’s not worth it.
My husband is a non communicator too. It made things so much difficult for me. The stress my in-law gave me caused me sleepless nights and over eating . I’m visiting them this March and I still don’t know how am I going to handle their behaviour.
I am going through the same exact thing. No matter how “polite” or “respectful” you put things or express things they will find a way to make it an attack towards them and make you look like an aggressor. I am only 24 and learning this as I go. I went into a deep depression trying to “make things right” with my fiancés parents, wondering what I did wrong or what’s wrong with me. And I’m finally starting to realize though I am not perfect I’m not this person they define me as. It does bother me time to time and I get down but I’m definitely getting better
Rule #2 won’t work...in most cases like this, the offending set of in-laws likes to play the victim role...or, they’ll say they don’t want confrontation, but what they really mean is that they still want to be able to get away with the crap they’re doing, without being called out on it.
Whoever you are, we are living a parallel life. And Im sorry. Read this quote recently and it has stayed on my mind. "Mishandling people and then avoiding communication is not keeping the peace. It's avoiding accountability." So true.
I chose not to intervene on my husband's relationship with his family. However, I did tell him that it would be best if from now on he would go visit them at their houses and do not bring them to mine. My home is my safe space and I will not allow anyone in it who brings me anguish. My husband agreed and he now visits his mother and sister at their homes because they are not welcome in mine. I do not go to family gatherings but I do from time to time connect with his family members that do treat me with respect and it works out fine. Hubby and I are still in love and I don't have to tolerate them.
Yeah it is hard to navigate inlaws. We just bought a house 2 years ago. I am the husband and they never came by when we had the apartment. We always went to see them. I get a little irritated when her parents stop by sometimes but thankfully it is not frequent.just once in a while. Sometimes I just tell my wife I am going fishing or I am doing something else depending on the time of year.
This is advice coming from a 58 year old married woman with a lot of experience with toxic in laws. Are you ready? NEVER take "the high road". It doesn't work. Never take insults with a smile or shrug it off. It will never stop. Never "kill them with kindness". You will get waffle stomped. Turn the other cheek? At your own peril. They will see your weakness and rip you to shreds. It's sad, but you really need to be your own advocate in this situation. If you already have problems with your in-laws it's because you have a weak spouse that is incapable of standing up to them. Lots of husband (even the macho ones) are deathly afraid of their mothers. Are you still waiting and hoping that he defends you? He won't. That is why you are watching this RUclips. If you are not willing to divorce and walk away than you need to get strong. Build up your confidence by getting physically strong (working out with weights) sounds like I am kidding. I'm not. Take courses about boundaries. Use your voice and start speaking up in a loud and assertive voice. Defend yourself. Stand up as tall as you can and make solid eye contact. A cold dead stare. Don't flinch or show that you are nervous. Get ugly. Get loud. Insult them back and make it hurt. It's the only thing they understand. If your husband defends them and gets mad at you, either divorce the coward or make sure he never gets sex from you again.
Thank u so much for telling it like it is its a pure truth that av jst discovered after 3 yrs of marriage everytime I had problem with them I trusted hubby when he said I will speak to them until I recently discovered that am the one who they talk about then from yesterday am gona defend myself strait to their face if he has problem with that and confronts me am walking away I can't live like this
@@user-bs4pu8vg1u I think it's terrible that your husband will not stand up to his family and defend you. Especially since you have only been married for three years. He is a coward. You can tell him I said so. If he has a problem with you defeding your own self, then I wonder why he thought he was ready to get married at all. You are going to have to be your own advocate and stand up for yourself, because your weak husband is afraid of his mother. That's what it looks like to me. If gets on your case because you have defended yourself against his families abuse, then maybe you should file for divorce. Move on and find yourself a real man who will love, honor, protect and defend you. Life is too short to live this way.
I luv it when my boyfriend tells his mom that he needs to check with me first before making any decision.. it really pisses off my mil and warms my heart 😆
BROTHER TN if he were wise though, he would simply say, I need some time to think it over. I would advise that you advise him to do that, because why does your MIL getting pissed off give you pleasure? Would you like it if your DIL in the future found pleasure in your displeasure?
Yeah, I also just wanted to clear things out. My in-laws hate for no reason. Even if I do nothing, they find something to 'prove' that I am awful. During the conversation, they just did like everything was okay and that they like me (they only complain to my boyfriend and set him up against me etc), but that was all fake afterwards.
@@biancaphone sometimes people will do or say some crazy stuff just because they dont like you. But in the end they didnt take the time to get to know you. Then your bf or fiance has to put them in their place
True. Never fight back or be disrespectful no matter how disrespectful they are to you. Create distance if you can. And only tell how you feel to your partner if you can. Never gossip about it to other people, even friends. If your partner loves you he will listen with no bias. And if you feel like you can’t trust your partner and it’s messing with your head all the time, it’s time to make a hard decision.
I have HORRIBLE in-laws! Especially my mother in law! My mother in law lies, creates conflict on purpose, and talks behind my back to OUR CHILDREN!!! My husband didn't see it at first, and he defended her, UNTIL the kids started coming to him telling him their grandmother was taking behind my back! He STILL didn't have the nerve to stand up to his mom because she's such a bulldozer. Frankly, because he was afraid of her it made my life a living hell plus she was lying to everyone about me! It took over TWENTY YEARS before he finally stood up to her. His mom stood up in a huff and walked out. She said, how dare you scold me!. And I said, "welcome to MY world!" Honey, your advice is sweet and might work with normal people but NOT when you're dealing with a sociopathic person.
Just wanted to share based from my experience is the importance of prayers. Having faith and doing what is right will lead us find ways to build relationships with them. Having also humble heart to evaluate among ourselves to identify first what is the problem in order to find solutions. Also, always remember that whatever negative words we heard from them do not define us bcoz all of us were created for a purpose, with greater capabilities and privileged to be a blessing for others.
Honestly if they dont respect you then dont go to their home or Let them come to yours. And Tbh if they don't respect me then they wouldn't be able to see my kids if i had any.
It took 17 years for my mother in law to apologize to me for all the pain she caused me, and to finally accepting the fact I’m her son’s wife. I did forgive her and I hope things will be better in the future.
I think these ideas would work in a perfect world but they aren’t realistic. The way to handle them is to not care! Be polite but know they don’t have any Bering on who you are and what you are worth. If you’ve told your spouse about your feelings and they don’t care, it’s token to guard your heart. Don’t allow yourself to be mistreated or ignored. It’s rough but look fir other places to excel in or be commuted that will encourage you and build your self worth. It truly is their loss.
it got so unbearable and the constant negative comments affected my mental health so bad (even to the point she was putting down our kids ) that now I just make excuses of why I can't be there at a gathering and let my spouse meet them for quality time on his own with kids they probably prefer it that way anyway. I tried letting my spouse talk to them about the way they treated me several times it didn't work in fact it got worse. I find just less contact the better (just me) after all I'm never going to change a woman who has overpowering self regard and an underlying belief that no one is good enough for her little boy. sometimes you just have to accept you can't change people and it's not your fault.
I told mine that he can either be married to me and speak up or I will pack my things and go since I kind of like my sanity. Now he does put boundaries down for his childhood family. I started to call our families that so he would get it that me and him are a whole different family. And also I don't take any of his parents or sisters crap anymore. I tell them how things are. For example his sister couldn't buy a TV so that it would be on her own name (she's unemployed and wanted to pay in payments) so she just came up to my husband and said you have to put the TV on your name. I watched what he was about to say and he didn't want to say it. Then we spoke together and I reminded him that his sister is an adult and adults have their TV in their own name because sometimes those adults have to bring it in to get it fixed. His sister basically wanted to kill two flies at once, get the TV from this store and use my husband when ever she wants. Didn't go exactly like this, told her that it has to be on her own name in case she has to use the warranty.
Chances are you don't like them. It happens. Don't argue. No winning with evil. Walk away or spend a life in hell. I stayed for 44 years. When your dreams start involing murder it's time to let go. Take away their power over you. We all have our own things that will work for us. Mine was Eckart Tolle. If your spouse allows their family to make you feel like you are on the bottom of their list. They really do not respect or love you. Your mate should never allow anyone to hurt you. Maybe time to face facts. You are just a crutch. Find someone you matter to. Someone from a healthy minded family. Good luck. At least matter enough to yourself that you do not become part of their broken. And never have children with these people. You will be trapped.
@Shameemah Binte Mohamed Fouze well I live with my mother in law which hates me, calling me names like snitch and witch! I help her and treated her like my mom and all what I got in return is shit from her! She s telling my husband and sister in law that they shouldn't be with me! And her son that we should get divorced! For no apparent reason though from day one I moved in with her I had a feeling that she hates me!
@Shameemah Binte Mohamed Fouze and to add one thing about my MIL! She is disrespects me infornt of my in laws! She throws my things and my son's things in the bin! And she pretend that she didn't do it while I saw her did that and she denied it! She lied at me! I started to hate her every single day she is giving me billions of reasons to be a real cold blooded bitch towards her.
@Shameemah Binte Mohamed Fouze everyday almost, new accusations like I put some black magic shit in her food! First of all am Muslim and why the fuck would I use black magic on her "which is a big and HUGE" mistake that u cannot do anything to get away from it until u get beheaded! She calls me a devil so am done with her...!
Honestly if someone has problems with me without even knowing me thats on them. I chose my partner and we built what we have because of love and trust. I can't be fake so I'm quiet. There's a pandemic going on I don't care about much anymore especially opinons😊
Sometimes, space/distance is the best. Before my husband and I moved in together, I knew he was from an enmeshed family were boundaries was a problem. I suggested that we move to the neighboring state. The distance created a sense of normalcy for us. My husband’s stepmother has made comments like “I’ll only visit when there’s a need” and “I’ll just come get my visit over with.” More reason to never invite her to visit us. If she decides to visit, I’ll welcome her with open arms and kindness. However, I’ll NEVER give her an invitation to come visit.
Just reminding everyone it doesn't always have to be the mother-in-law.. It can also be the daughter-in-law or the son in law that causes all the drama. These people are not always innocent just because they're younger.
For me it's the sister in law and her know it all kids. Then the in laws pamper and cater to them. They are rude and hateful and I'm not supposed to say or do anything about it. My sister in law backed into my mom's new car and then treated my mom badly about it. That's just one example. She was drunk and high when she did it.
I ghosted my in laws and don't have any contact with any of them. That works perfectly fine:-) When my husband wants to visit them, that's fine by me but he also hasn't seen them for 6 months; I tried to make it work for 16 years, the only regret I have is I wasted so much time on them;
I’m thinking about ghosting my in-laws right now. My situation is a little different though because we’re not married. We’ve been dating for 2 1/2 years and we are talking about marriage but his parents hate me because they wanted a “blonde“ girl and I’m Latina. We held a family conference where they basically just told me to my face that they would never accept the relationship. They told him how he could do so much better and everything else. So anyway, next Monday is the start of his basketball season and for the last two years I’ve had to sit with them and pretend to be all nice to them at every game. I want to just go to the game to support my boyfriend but do it from the other side of the court where I won’t see them but my boyfriend said that that will make the issue worse but at the same time I just don’t want to be around negative people anymore. What should I do?
Renee Nealis I’m in the same boat! Dating 2 years! My boyfriend also says the same thing! I’ve decided to avoid them at all costs! Can’t stand to be near them anyway
@@jordyndoetker2933 my dad passed away 2 months ago, I decided to not make any phone calls to my inlaws and don't invite them to the funeral. That move they didn't expect:-) Don't want them in my life, not in good days and certainly not in bad days.
Im getting married this year and my Fiance's family (literally every single one of them) are all single or going through difficult relationship drama. They are bitter about love and have made it known. One thing in particular that was constantly happening was my future SIL was talking bad about me and my wedding and it came up to me a few times. I put her in my wedding as a courtesy to my Fiance and just recently I finally had enough with his sister and mother being rude to me and also being rude about my mother. I spoke my truth in a polite way and it got me bashed and my SIL decided to drop out as a bridesmaid. I do not think there's much I can do to make his family like me at this point so Im staying silent. It hurts deeply because I dont want my fiance to have to choose me or his family but they are tying my hands behind my back. I feel like Ive lost control of my own life and my future with my fiance is already looking shaky. I wouldn't wish this feeling on my worse enemy.
I think you have to start realizing that it's actually not even about you. If it's your MIL giving you problems it is likely because she is having trouble letting go of her son and the control she had in his life before you came along. She would react this way with any daughter in law, not just you. So, it's not a personal attack. If it's a SIL, a lot of times that is an issue of competitiveness and jealousy. Again, that is a personal issue within that person that they have likely battled with their whole lives and they would react this way no matter who it is. This can be especially true if the siblings that you are married to don't have the best relationship and there is already a spirit of competitiveness within the family that you have married into. I hate it when I feel that my children are being compared to their cousins. It becomes this competition of whose kids are smarter, better-looking, more popular, etc., I have learned to walk into another room or change the subject if the conversation turns into comparing children's accomplishments. Another way to shut it down is to let them brag away and then say, "wow, that is really awesome. You must be so proud." End of conversation. Don't get dragged into a back and forth. It's taken me 16 years of marriage to figure this all out. 😂
What if you are the husband and MIL is giving problems? Is it because MIL is having difficulty in her own marriage or having a hard time letting go of daughter? Almost 8 years of marriage.
Before marriage, my mil told my husband that if he ever married me or if he doesn't break up with me, he had better move to a different continent. Lol he chose me and we moved 2 hrs away. She cries victim all the time. But I don't feel bad. Some people are impossible. And she is a narcissist. She took one look at me up and down and turned her head when she first saw me (we weren't even dating. That was the first time my husband and I had ever met). Impossible I tell ya.
My in-laws don’t like me . I couldn’t care less and in fact after trying to make an effort that really is never reciprocated I now enjoy rubbing them up the wrong way .
I like this idea. If they carry on with nobody (they value) stepping up to confront the bad behaviour I think I might play devils advocate! A bit of humour, a bit of mocking and asking them to clarify what they are meaning as a way to hold up the mirror to the in-laws and enablers! Here comes Christmas!
think they are not part of your world........ so if they talk ...talk, smile...smile...if ignore...just ignore.....don't show any time that you are depend on them....and don't give suggestions to them approve all their matters and just leave into trash bin bec they wont care your suggestion or anything........ just behave you didn't get affected bec of them. Your children are yours so you bring them up as you want....you can't make whole world happy so first you be happy and dont scarify your happiness to make those who wont care you to make happy.....
My in-laws contributed 90% towards the failure of my marriage just because I am not their tribe. They even extended the hatred to my children. Their father has abandoned them too. I really need God's grace to raise the kids .
The only thing you can do is go no contact because all the advice you gave really does not work with people who are set in their ways. I think by this point if they’re looking up your video they have tried everything that you have suggested and it failed. Most spouses will not speak up for you because it is his parents. If his parents treat you like this it’s because the mother is narcissistic and is controlling over her son. I wish what you suggested would work but it rarely ever does.
I'm struggling with my brother's wife for years. I've tried so hard and over looked so many incidences. I've never had a relationship with my arrogant cold brother. His wife makes me feel tolerated not accepted. It's a real mess.
I'm drained. I just gave up. I don't have any fight left in me. I tell them how I feel in regards to things I've noticed, and he sides with them and dismisses me. Fights against me about how I feel.
Disagree with the ultimatum part. Sometimes it’s good to tell your husband or wife they need to step up their game and defend you when you’re being wrongfully attacked. If your spouse won’t defend you they don’t really love you.
The movie Meet the Parents is closer to reality than people think. Sometimes though you just have to say to your inlaws that you do not approve of something.
My in laws hates me to the bone when my husband asks about the issue here. They say im not on their standards n tell my husband that he deserves better even though he’s very happy in relationship. They comment on my looks, color and my personality. Its ok to handle time to time. But sometimes it gets so overwhelming that I can’t even handle
Not the kind of people with whom one can talk and discuss because for them they are always right. Whenever I am having a problem with my husband they immediately stop talking to me or listening to my problems..and sharing this with him makes it worse because he takes it as complaint.
I don’t like my fiancé’s family but I adore my partner. Sometimes I wonder what I should do: stay in the relationship and deal with it or just leave the relationship
Thanks for this video! I'll definitely try that with my inlaws.... whom I despise... and am trying SO HARD... not to.... which is hard when every moment around them... is them judging, criticizing, and being extremely empty/insincere with you.... and especially difficult when they say bad things about your mother.... who is definitely going to heaven because she's a saint... I swear I need like a therapist or something... 5 years of inlaws who just would smile if you died...and even more so if they were the ones to personally dispatch you... it sure does make you want to drive through their living room.... (after you've confirmed no one's in the living room of course) and gleefully announce, "We're here! Oh my goodness, I just LOVE... what you've done with the place." Serious jokes aside though... My spouse loves their family, like a lot... like they didn't even really have friends growing up because they were so close with their family, and didn't care to have any other friends.... Odd I know but it is what it is... So it's like... no matter what I say I'm wrong and they're right because they're seemingly closer than my spouse and I are.... like since the beginning, and it just has gotten progressively worse. I just don't feel like I can compete with that. I'm not trying to compete with that or do the whole, "It's either them or me..." but on the flip side it's like it's been communicated through actions more than words, it's either them or get lost, and even if you don't get lost, you can't sit at our table because this is where the cool kids sit, and you're not cool enough. Yeah pretty much sums it up. Anyone out there know what I'm talking about or am I really the only special case in the world? Well... here's to being special. There. You have my side of the coin... as for the other side, could basically be summed up as, "You don't make as much money as I do so therefore you're scum and worthless and no good for your spouse." Clothes, medical, dental, food, education, it's all there... but that's just not good enough when they make over 100k and you don't :P. Currently I'm doing the whole Computer Science thing, to become a programmer/software developer... the goal is start my own company and make millions... but something tells me that when I do make it... still won't be enough to sit at the cool table. Well... if worse comes to worse.. I can always divorce the poorer spouse, take the kid, and buy a better spouse right? Hopefully it won't come to that but anyone who gets married with the idea that you are to love your mommy and daddy and brother and sister more than your spouse... prepare for your marriage to fail. This has been a random person's unofficial blog... written more for their sake than yours. Writing. Helps me think ;). Good luck all ye hated and despised... be better than them.
It's hard to find advice about mother-in-law's because of that! Most "experts" don't seem to be very familiar with this dynamic. They've only seen the classic light squabbles. Not the all out war scenario's that we're in.
I find this really difficult, currently experiencing it, and you just can't stoop to their level or let them know it effects you because they will have ultimately win, just always be a nice lovely person and kill them with kindness
No idea I just want to leave when that start happening. I try to leave before I get asked questions. I don't want her opinion because she did a terrible job raising her own kids. They are all super obese and narcissistic.
She said I have to lose weight if I want to marry my husband (I was a size 32) and said I better have a long sleeve dress because my arms are disgusting. She didn't speak to me on my wedding day and now I have to face her tomorrow after three 3 hears without her negative comments
I first suspected my sister-inlaw did not like me when I first met her she compared me to his ex. Over the years it went into she called me stuff like ostrich a**, ect. Years went into excluding my boys and I from events.
Omg I relate to this so much and I’m low key kinda frustrated cuz she’s still friends with that wh0re cuz my husband had two kids with her before which I doubt are even his tbh but she loves them and worst part is me and him have a child along the way 35 weeks pregnant and this whole time it’s been helllllllll just pure hell the father in law hates me for some reason but why? I have never done nothing to him but marry his son and produce a grandchild and I’m treated with the outermost disrespect I have ever received in my life and while pregnant he insults me under is breath in Spanish as if I cannot understand and I’m stupid and brainless pinche cul0 mamon nada pero problemas mucho problemas, dia uno desde dia uno
Thank you for this sound advice. We've previously tried steps 1, 2, & 3 with no improvements. I need to work on steps 4 & 5 for myself & being less reactive. I've been feeling helpless so THANK YOU! 💖
My wife's family never liked me from the start. I thought that after we got married, they would start to warm up a bit but I was wrong, they just got worse. They never stopped pulling on her, and every minute she was with living with me was like torture to them. To be honest, my wife was not much help and was the cause of a lot of it. Every time there was a disagreement, she would go straight to the phone and call her mother or her sister. I asked her to start managing the relationship between us and her family but she never did. Her refusal to stand up for our marriage and defend me damaged our relationship tremendously. She is now staying with them and told me she missed me and wants to come home but everyone would get too angry, so there she stays.
Quick question: is it always mother in laws and sister in laws that have a problem with their sons/brother's wife? I was judged by one even before meeting me because I'm a Latina (they're Italian) and we are apparently gold diggers. She never gave me a chance and makes comments constantly. 11 years later I'm over her/their bs (my mom overheard my husbands mom tell her friend in Italian that she doubted my son was her sons. My mom understood and called her out) they never gave me a chance :(
One of My Iron Rules is that if people don't value my friendship, my companionship, my presence then theirs is worth even less to me. And avoidance is the best practice. That and OCS-Order of the Cold Shoulder.
I'm having conflict with my sisters bf and I am aware a lot of it was my fault (coming over too much, not doing the dishes the way she does them). When she tried to bully me about the way I did dishes though, all I did was walk away from her because the conflict was in her house and I respect me and my mans relationship. I just hope one day she realizes that her anger and hatred and blaming everything wrong in her life on me and others is gonna put a wedge in between me and my mans relationship
Tried all of your suggestions & trust me it doesn’t work. So far what works best is never live with them & stay far away from her. If they don’t like you oh well, some mother in law just plain psychotic & can’t accept the fact that her son moved the hell on on.. Restraining Orders if you have too that’s when your husband can’t do shiet about it..
My sister in-law mooched off is for 15 & 1/2 years. When we moved away she made me out to be the devil and said she helped get us our dream. If anything she prevented us saving money for almost 16 years! She torpedoed our relationship. If the relationship isn’t give and take...cut them off.
Problem is there are too many stubborn narcissists out there. Narcissism transcends race, religion, political affiliation, ethnicity, age, and gender. Or to put it in Layman's terms: Some people just suck.
I have been married for 15 years. Now I don't put my ideas on them. Last 15 years I was trying to correct them . But now I say what you do is right . Very right . In this way my wife is happy with me and my in laws . It is my suggestion. One more very important thing dont expect anything from them not even justice .
That is so true. I would also add get a hobby outside of the house such as kayaking,fishing,ice skating,skiing etc. That is a great way to get away if you don't want to deal with them.
I deal with negative comments constantly from his family about how im a stay at home mom to how I care for my son. Me and my partner both agreeded to me staying home since daycare is expensive. And i believe my son should know respect even at a young age. I dont believe im raising him wrong however they say otherwise. I just wanna move far away from them lol
i have a serious problem with my in-laws, i live in Afghanistan, which is really backward country and women can not go outside even they can not go to their father or uncles house without permission of father in-law or mother in-law or husband, anyway its 5 months which i did love marriage but my in-laws do not like me without my husband. now all my in-laws gossiping about me and saying things about me for my husband and others. nowadays my husband became angry at me and accept his mother's speaks. it really kills me. my mother in-law and sister in-laws are at home all day but i have a job my job is near to my home and i can make my own money but other females in my house can not because they are illiterate. and they want me to stay home like them but, i want to be independent, and i want to live how i deserve but but but no one cares about me i cry every night, im under pressure im stressed and sometime i want to kill myself.
You should not be getting upset that much because you are better than them in your standards.. make them realise that you can live a better life if at all you go away from them. Just behave as if they don't exist. If it is too much to handle then tell them that you can always live a better life as you have good education and job. So better not to trouble you .
I can tell when my bfs mom is trying to start in with me. It just kind of amuses me. I try to remember not to give her any actual ammo (which would be an emotional reaction.)
She hasn’t managed to get one. The only time she’s ever exploded at me it was because I didn’t get along with her daughter and that girl’s gf. My bfs dog was sick and she was screaming at me that this was about him. My reply stopped her dead in her tacks as i asked “then what are you doing?”
I just can't deal with my in-laws they can really make one to feel insecure. Whenever i feel cutting them off my life my husband always insists us going to visit them and that puts me in an awkward space. I also don't want to loose my husband because of this.
Your spouse should not be forcing you to attend a gathering. There were times my wife did not attend a gathering and of course my mother was concerned but I would just say she has the flu or during the start of COVID-19 I said she just doesn't feel comfortable being around so many people. A few times her parents came by she told them I was fishing or kayaking 😂😂😂. Every married couple should have a hobby outside of the home.
Been keeping to myself and nothing bothers me. I see what my inlaws do and don't do. I pay attention. None of they BS bothers me. Which in case they hate it because they cannot piss me off. LOL.
How to deal with in-laws who directly attack you if your spouse speaks to them about the problem, saying that you are the one who is putting wrong thoughts in their son's mind?
If these people don't know respect and boundaries then #1 #2 ect won't work. If your husband puts the blood family first then plan your financial strategy to get out of dodge.
How do you deal with your In-Laws? Let's get a conversation started..
The Ladies Coach I have been married for 26 years to my husband and I still deal with issues with my mother-in-law. My husband and I met when we were 17 years old. She accused me of taking her son away from her. Mind you, they are from Portugal but living in America for 50 years and I understand that the culture is very family oriented, however, after two children, she still treats me like I am a sidekick in that I am in the way of her and her child. Even though I love her, I have always helped her, I have always spoken kind to her, sometimes, you just have to pray and let go and give it up to God.
I deal with them from a distance. It is very uncomfortable being around family gatherings. My sister in law acts very rude when I'm in the same room. She rolls her eyes when I speak or just when I'm around. It is very embarrassing to say the least. Everyone follows suit with her, and they pick and choose when I'm invited to certain events. My daughter notices this behavior and asked my husband why his family treats her mom this way. He has no explanation and has been vocal that they needed to be respectful of his family. They did not listen, and we chose to not participate in any family gatherings moving forward. This wasn't something that just happened. This has been going on for more than seven years. I decided that I was going to live my life the way I want to. I'm grateful that I have a loving and supporting husband. He is very embarrassed of his family's actions.
I am very glad your husband has your back and that is key. I wish my Husband was more vocal and willing to stand up. Frankly, I think he has this enmeshment issue with them and is afraid of losing them. So I have to endure the things that they do toward me. I am afraid that my daughter will act out against me when she gets old enough because she is close with them, and she does it now at 4 when she is around them. They think its cute !! I don't know what to do.
Amen Melissa!
They are not in laws yet, but it isn't his brother's that I have trouble with, it is the women of both brothers. The other one my fiancée's oldest brother was rude to me on many occasions. I cooked a whole Christmas Dinner for the family two years ago. I am Polish and I love to cook. My grandparents both taught me how to cook. I thank God for them. Debbie the one woman who shoved me out of the doorway, she raved how good the food was and said, "Wow Laurie", your food was so good I think that when the (the other daughter) gets married," "you can do the wedding catering". I thought she was serious. I guess not, she chose a caterer who served raw chicken or boneless overcooked chicken, some rank seared, no flavored zucchini, and even the onions had no taste. The other soon to be sister in law said to Lee and I , as we were looking for a seat to sit in, she looked at us and immediately said, "no, you don't sit here, you have assigned seats and those are in the corner with Lee's boys and wives. I have had some rifts with them but not as bad as what happened prior to that wedding. That woman rolled her eyes at me at the Christmas party that I cooked for. There was no reason but maybe I laughed a bit too loud and her daughter rolled her eyes at a different time before she did on the same night. I am not accepted because I am as old as the kids of these 3 brothers. They could all be my dad's expect the younger one but not by far. This is Lee's (going to be) third marriage. His first two wives passes away, and I am the third to be in this family .These people are too old to be fitting me into their family. Lee is an easy going man and his family means a great deal to him but it isn't like we see each other too often. I stopped that at the beginning. They like to play a lot of cards, I don't, they love Dominoes, I don't. (Except Dominoes Pizza). The woman who pushed me, her name is Debbie, I don't care if she knows she will never see this. We went on their boat one summer on Lake Michigan. They acted like I was never on a boat before and wanted me to compliment it. I didn't. I don't like boat unless I can drive it, I get sick otherwise. I have owned 3 boats with my ex husband and when we had a great deal of money. We even had one with a kitchen, sleeping quarter's and it was nice. Anyway, we get through the "no wake" area, and Lauren the husband , Lee's brother floors it. The wave were pounding and I was getting a headache and it was so so bright out there. We did this or about an hour of pounding and they were drinking. I didn't. We finally slowed down and went into this cove where the Lake Michigan had little parts of the lake that were smooth. They clearly say me gripping onto LEe like a little girl but kept going. We stopped FINALLY and Debbie was asking me questions about my family. I gave evasive answers, she has not earned the right to know anything about me. At this point, she never will. Two weddings, two bridal showers, a baby shower and lots of money has gone to there two thirty year old brats. I dont' want to go to the young Nicole's baby shower if they even can have kids. Lee does some very nice things for his family but they are always asking them to borrow this, or borrow that. I am 18 years younger than Lee, he is 69 so I am 51. I will most likely outlive him. There will be absolutely no contact with this family at all once we move out of Michigan and God forbid the other. I won't disrespect Lee in anyway around his family but I can just stay very evasive and one answers. THe mother passed two years ago. I think she liked me and it isn't if that I care if these people like me or not it is just easier if it is a two way street. I wish she didn't because we would go her old folks home and all her friends were there from when she was young, some even childhood. Really cool place. I tried my best to cater to her and listen and be nice. She was 95 and she had her suspicions about me but she grew to like me. We visited sometimes twice a week. I know she did not like the older brother's wife. She knew that she was her son's secretary and she slowly stole him away from his wife Carole. She is an organist for the church and never remarried because he broke her heart. I know her and I just love this woman. I was at Kayllee's shower and there was no one sitting next to Lee's mom when I walked in. I wore heels and I was standing straight and was about 6 4 with the heels. I am 6 1 but I am shrinking a bit. I was Lee's mom across the room and she waved me over and said, "no one is sitting here, have a seat". I sat and began talkin to her and the woman stealer sister in law of Lee's oldest brother walked up and said ," I was sitting there". I knew right there that Lee's mother did not like her AT ALL. She asked me to grab her purse which she had crammed in between the fireplace and her chair. It was stuffed into there pretty good, What a piece a work she is. Well, it is 3 years later and I can't stand that family, Debbie has done about 5 things to me that I let her get away with but once there is physical contact and it isn't friendly? There is no real repair after that. I felt sorry for Lee because he had to hear this for a month now. He wants to have a family meeting, I know it isn't going to work. He wants to invite them again to our timeshare apartment. I don't want them there. I will be friendly but will not have hospitality. They can eat and buy there own food and entertain themselves. I am not there to entertain them. We have a conference in Branson MO. and they aren't coming, 100.00 dollars a ticket, and they wouldn't understand a word of it anyway. Thanks for letting me talk. Have a great day.
Looking through the comments and realizing I’m not alone in this honestly makes me feel so much better!
My brother in law is a bum my sister can't keep asking my parents for help
We moved 500 miles away. That worked
Muahahaha!
I moved 3000 miles still didn't work thanks to FaceTime 🤜🏾
I wish we could move our family to another country and be rid of them forever.
luv it luke! you lucky!
Yep we moved 649 miles away, life is beautiful it worked,fuck them
Number 2 won't work. Tried it been there. Best thing to do is treat them like an acquaintance and don't expect anything from them.
A Fuller you are so right!
What about when you live with them?
True
@@journeealarcon8199 move out!! Sounds like a toxic relationship, get out! Or get them out!! Good luck.
So true just be real to yourself don't treat them just keep to yourself.
Creating physical distance by moving away, refusing to attend social gatherings where toxic members are present, direct assertive responses are important. You can't always relay on a spouse to stand up for you in the heat of the moment, they may be absent, distracted, or in denial.
My husband is the Master of denial.
@@mauriciaannatkins I used to defend myself with my MIL. Then realised hubby will never take my side when I an also arguing. So I just stopped defending myself and would genuinely ask for emotional support from my husband for hurt fellings from comments his mom made during our gatherings. This actually worked as after 2-3 such ocassions he started paying attention and when she again was on to me asked her to leave me alone.
Facts!
@@mauriciaannatkins Same, denying it all the time and told me they didn't mean it that way.
Yup 👍 big fat thumbs up
Also hubby straight up lies about how feel towards you. Trust your instincts if they don't like ..they don't like you.
I just act friendly and don’t say much as possible. Remain happy with my a smile on my face. And breathe deeply.
Ceterra Washburn easier said than done!
u r right
Me too, the smile is a bit tough, and shutting up is to but it is the only way. (FOR NOW)
👍
SAME!!!!
"Envy" is the root of all evil..
evil are evil... I pray and let God handle them...
Amen!
True
People are set in their ways and won't change (especially when everything is going their way). Just delete them out of your life and put them in a permanent trash bin. And move on.
Exactly.......
Well said
I have been having to do that with my mother-in-law she has hurt me so many times it's unbelievable but I still found for forgiveness for her I've still forgiven her but she still hurt me all my friends don't realize what I go through with my boyfriend Only They Knew and if they knew they would feel very sorry for me cuz I have put up with a lot of BS from my boyfriend's family in him I have tolerated so much and I love him very dearly but I'm at the point to where I want to throw my hands up and say I'm done but a part of me says No and a part of me says yes he's my first and I don't want to lose him but I'm afraid I might have to because his mom tells him what he can and cannot do even though he's 18 he still listens to her and if he doesn't it's a big old fight I'm just tired I want somebody that will love me for me and give me what I deserve I know I sound like a terrible person but I don't like to sound like this but this is how I'm feeling and I do agree with your post I'm having to completely kick my mother-in-law out of my life it hurts me but that's what I got to do to keep my heart protected
@@katlindiaz7874 You are just 18? Move on!! Odds are, it will never get any better...
@@katlindiaz7874 Does your own family love, support and protect you, or encourage you. If not, unless your boyfriend can put you first, he's not for you.
I learned not to voice any of my own opinions so they really will never know me because we won't agree on anything and they can't have a civil disagreement.
Kim Chloe well said
Too bad for them 😆
Thats exactly what i do! The less they know about me the better.
Yes, silence is better and anyway none of their business.
@Ophirian Princess yeah .. then they think am rude for not participating in their conversation. They totally ignore me( not that i have a problem with that). The more they ignore me ..the more am happy in my corner, it just my husand who complain that i show no interest on trying to communicate .. etc
I have been verbally abused and bullied by my in-laws, my husband has said he talked to them about it, but if I'm in their presence, they will still make sarcastic remarks to me etc. If my husband chooses to have a relationship with them, that's perfectly fine, but to protect my self worth, I just choose to stay away from them due to all the negativity.
yes, i would say make them get together for holidays a seperate day, but you should get to celebrate events the date off and they have to work around that because theyre the ones being jerks
I agree. My in-laws are coming for Christmas and I already feel anxious. I will try to have a lot of activities with my daughters around that time to stay away from them. And let them making fun of me as they wish.
Charity Blaine I feel your pain it makes family gatherings so hard
And you are perfectly right. They use us as punchbag, we don't have to bear this.
Charity Blaine I share the same Issues you have ❤️❤️❤️, much love to you
My tip is also if your in-laws does not respect you and your marriage and always try to controlling your husband ,just cut them off.. out of your life, let your husband go by himself to family functions.
What if he wants to take baby there without the wife/mother
@kikiriki466 this is happening to me I hate it she loves the other daughter in law though 😒
What if your husband is not a communicator, and he runs from conflict. I’ve dealt with this situation for 28 years. My in-laws have always been crappy to me. I’ve just learned to ignore it, and stay away as much as possible, because it’s not worth it.
so true.. they just suck all positivity out of you, treat you as illiterate even if you are the most educated in the entire family..
I think it happens with all country women ..
Wow, for you I would take on the middle east alone with a pocket knife.
My husband is a non communicator too. It made things so much difficult for me. The stress my in-law gave me caused me sleepless nights and over eating . I’m visiting them this March and I still don’t know how am I going to handle their behaviour.
This is my situation exactly! Except im only 7 years in, I couldnt imagine almost 30
I would say no about the “family conference”..From my experience your own input only pisses them off and can be used against you, ironically.
I am going through the same exact thing. No matter how “polite” or “respectful” you put things or express things they will find a way to make it an attack towards them and make you look like an aggressor. I am only 24 and learning this as I go. I went into a deep depression trying to “make things right” with my fiancés parents, wondering what I did wrong or what’s wrong with me. And I’m finally starting to realize though I am not perfect I’m not this person they define me as. It does bother me time to time and I get down but I’m definitely getting better
Rule #2 won’t work...in most cases like this, the offending set of in-laws likes to play the victim role...or, they’ll say they don’t want confrontation, but what they really mean is that they still want to be able to get away with the crap they’re doing, without being called out on it.
Whoever you are, we are living a parallel life. And Im sorry. Read this quote recently and it has stayed on my mind. "Mishandling people and then avoiding communication is not keeping the peace. It's avoiding accountability." So true.
I chose not to intervene on my husband's relationship with his family. However, I did tell him that it would be best if from now on he would go visit them at their houses and do not bring them to mine. My home is my safe space and I will not allow anyone in it who brings me anguish. My husband agreed and he now visits his mother and sister at their homes because they are not welcome in mine. I do not go to family gatherings but I do from time to time connect with his family members that do treat me with respect and it works out fine. Hubby and I are still in love and I don't have to tolerate them.
Yeah it is hard to navigate inlaws. We just bought a house 2 years ago. I am the husband and they never came by when we had the apartment. We always went to see them. I get a little irritated when her parents stop by sometimes but thankfully it is not frequent.just once in a while. Sometimes I just tell my wife I am going fishing or I am doing something else depending on the time of year.
"The more you try to prove that someone's perception of you is wrong, the more you prove them right." Wow. I really needed to hear that.
This is advice coming from a 58 year old married woman with a lot of experience with toxic in laws. Are you ready? NEVER take "the high road". It doesn't work. Never take insults with a smile or shrug it off. It will never stop. Never "kill them with kindness". You will get waffle stomped. Turn the other cheek? At your own peril. They will see your weakness and rip you to shreds. It's sad, but you really need to be your own advocate in this situation. If you already have problems with your in-laws it's because you have a weak spouse that is incapable of standing up to them. Lots of husband (even the macho ones) are deathly afraid of their mothers. Are you still waiting and hoping that he defends you? He won't. That is why you are watching this RUclips. If you are not willing to divorce and walk away than you need to get strong. Build up your confidence by getting physically strong (working out with weights) sounds like I am kidding. I'm not. Take courses about boundaries. Use your voice and start speaking up in a loud and assertive voice. Defend yourself. Stand up as tall as you can and make solid eye contact. A cold dead stare. Don't flinch or show that you are nervous. Get ugly. Get loud. Insult them back and make it hurt. It's the only thing they understand. If your husband defends them and gets mad at you, either divorce the coward or make sure he never gets sex from you again.
Yup tried to be nice and they got worse. Now I just don’t talk to them.
Thank u so much for telling it like it is its a pure truth that av jst discovered after 3 yrs of marriage everytime I had problem with them I trusted hubby when he said I will speak to them until I recently discovered that am the one who they talk about then from yesterday am gona defend myself strait to their face if he has problem with that and confronts me am walking away I can't live like this
@@user-bs4pu8vg1u I think it's terrible that your husband will not stand up to his family and defend you. Especially since you have only been married for three years. He is a coward. You can tell him I said so. If he has a problem with you defeding your own self, then I wonder why he thought he was ready to get married at all. You are going to have to be your own advocate and stand up for yourself, because your weak husband is afraid of his mother. That's what it looks like to me. If gets on your case because you have defended yourself against his families abuse, then maybe you should file for divorce. Move on and find yourself a real man who will love, honor, protect and defend you. Life is too short to live this way.
@blitzkrieg6872 thank u so much for the love🤣am gona tell him that u said he is a coward 🤣🤣🤣💯but honestly all u said it's true and thank u so much
❤
I luv it when my boyfriend tells his mom that he needs to check with me first before making any decision.. it really pisses off my mil and warms my heart 😆
BROTHER TN I shouldn’t laugh but it is funny.
So lucky!
BROTHER TN if he were wise though, he would simply say, I need some time to think it over. I would advise that you advise him to do that, because why does your MIL getting pissed off give you pleasure? Would you like it if your DIL in the future found pleasure in your displeasure?
Mupeta M you’re right, I forgot about karma 🙀🙀🙀
With an attitude like that though, sounds like you're the problem.
It's been 15 years. I have been dealing with toxic in-laws since day 1.
Hell no number 2 makes it worse.
It sucks cause my dad in law wants to always have a family meeting which never works cause she always attacks me with her delusional self
@T V It starts in kindergarten and it never ends... I hate all this B.S.
Yeah, I also just wanted to clear things out. My in-laws hate for no reason. Even if I do nothing, they find something to 'prove' that I am awful. During the conversation, they just did like everything was okay and that they like me (they only complain to my boyfriend and set him up against me etc), but that was all fake afterwards.
@@biancaphone sometimes people will do or say some crazy stuff just because they dont like you. But in the end they didnt take the time to get to know you. Then your bf or fiance has to put them in their place
True. Never fight back or be disrespectful no matter how disrespectful they are to you. Create distance if you can. And only tell how you feel to your partner if you can. Never gossip about it to other people, even friends. If your partner loves you he will listen with no bias. And if you feel like you can’t trust your partner and it’s messing with your head all the time, it’s time to make a hard decision.
I have HORRIBLE in-laws! Especially my mother in law! My mother in law lies, creates conflict on purpose, and talks behind my back to OUR CHILDREN!!! My husband didn't see it at first, and he defended her, UNTIL the kids started coming to him telling him their grandmother was taking behind my back! He STILL didn't have the nerve to stand up to his mom because she's such a bulldozer. Frankly, because he was afraid of her it made my life a living hell plus she was lying to everyone about me! It took over TWENTY YEARS before he finally stood up to her. His mom stood up in a huff and walked out. She said, how dare you scold me!. And I said, "welcome to MY world!"
Honey, your advice is sweet and might work with normal people but NOT when you're dealing with a sociopathic person.
Sounds so similar to my MIL
I can't really trust my MIL and I am a guy. I know she talks behind people's backs. Hard to trust someone like that.
This is a hope
Just wanted to share based from my experience is the importance of prayers. Having faith and doing what is right will lead us find ways to build relationships with them. Having also humble heart to evaluate among ourselves to identify first what is the problem in order to find solutions. Also, always remember that whatever negative words we heard from them do not define us bcoz all of us were created for a purpose, with greater capabilities and privileged to be a blessing for others.
Godbless your kind soul , if only you new my story why its hard for others and me to forgive myself .
Honestly if they dont respect you then dont go to their home or Let them come to yours. And Tbh if they don't respect me then they wouldn't be able to see my kids if i had any.
@@karaokay5444 my husbands step dad want to involve in our financial matters too its such a shame
@@focusontruth2184 unless they are paying your bills he should keep his nose out of your financial matters
It took 17 years for my mother in law to apologize to me for all the pain she caused me, and to finally accepting the fact I’m her son’s wife. I did forgive her and I hope things will be better in the future.
I think these ideas would work in a perfect world but they aren’t realistic. The way to handle them is to not care! Be polite but know they don’t have any Bering on who you are and what you are worth. If you’ve told your spouse about your feelings and they don’t care, it’s token to guard your heart. Don’t allow yourself to be mistreated or ignored. It’s rough but look fir other places to excel in or be commuted that will encourage you and build your self worth. It truly is their loss.
Agree but it's kinda fun cussing back to them
Have a family conference 😂😂😂😂 oh ok
jmik244 😂😂😂😂
Tried that...LOL! That was THE MOST CRAZIEST idea lol!
🤣😭😭😭
jmik244 🤣🤣🤣 family conference worst thing to dooooo !!!!
Highly agreed ty I needed the smile🤣🤣🤣
it got so unbearable and the constant negative comments affected my mental health so bad (even to the point she was putting down our kids ) that now I just make excuses of why I can't be there at a gathering and let my spouse meet them for quality time on his own with kids they probably prefer it that way anyway.
I tried letting my spouse talk to them about the way they treated me several times it didn't work in fact it got worse. I find just less contact the better (just me) after all I'm never going to change a woman who has overpowering self regard and an underlying belief that no one is good enough for her little boy. sometimes you just have to accept you can't change people and it's not your fault.
#2 doesn’t work because they will only say what problem I don’t know what your talking about and I’m sorry you feel that way.. I just stay away
What if your spouse doesn’t speak up?
This is my issue with my husband as well.
Same here he just let's his WICKED mother be evil...ughh shes the devil!!😡😡
@Shameemah Binte Mohamed Fouze iam there now dear...he does nt speak up..thinking of going back home
I told mine that he can either be married to me and speak up or I will pack my things and go since I kind of like my sanity. Now he does put boundaries down for his childhood family. I started to call our families that so he would get it that me and him are a whole different family. And also I don't take any of his parents or sisters crap anymore. I tell them how things are. For example his sister couldn't buy a TV so that it would be on her own name (she's unemployed and wanted to pay in payments) so she just came up to my husband and said you have to put the TV on your name. I watched what he was about to say and he didn't want to say it. Then we spoke together and I reminded him that his sister is an adult and adults have their TV in their own name because sometimes those adults have to bring it in to get it fixed. His sister basically wanted to kill two flies at once, get the TV from this store and use my husband when ever she wants. Didn't go exactly like this, told her that it has to be on her own name in case she has to use the warranty.
With my situation it's because my man lives at his sisters house so he cant really speak up
Chances are you don't like them. It happens. Don't argue. No winning with evil. Walk away or spend a life in hell. I stayed for 44 years. When your dreams start involing murder it's time to let go. Take away their power over you. We all have our own things that will work for us. Mine was Eckart Tolle. If your spouse allows their family to make you feel like you are on the bottom of their list. They really do not respect or love you. Your mate should never allow anyone to hurt you. Maybe time to face facts. You are just a crutch. Find someone you matter to. Someone from a healthy minded family. Good luck. At least matter enough to yourself that you do not become part of their broken. And never have children with these people. You will be trapped.
I am trapped and I don't know what to do...
@Shameemah Binte Mohamed Fouze well I live with my mother in law which hates me, calling me names like snitch and witch! I help her and treated her like my mom and all what I got in return is shit from her! She s telling my husband and sister in law that they shouldn't be with me! And her son that we should get divorced! For no apparent reason though from day one I moved in with her I had a feeling that she hates me!
@Shameemah Binte Mohamed Fouze plus I have a son and I don't wanna have another child bcs of this reason!
@Shameemah Binte Mohamed Fouze and to add one thing about my MIL! She is disrespects me infornt of my in laws! She throws my things and my son's things in the bin! And she pretend that she didn't do it while I saw her did that and she denied it! She lied at me! I started to hate her every single day she is giving me billions of reasons to be a real cold blooded bitch towards her.
@Shameemah Binte Mohamed Fouze everyday almost, new accusations like I put some black magic shit in her food! First of all am Muslim and why the fuck would I use black magic on her "which is a big and HUGE" mistake that u cannot do anything to get away from it until u get beheaded! She calls me a devil so am done with her...!
Second rule was pretty stupid.
Honestly if someone has problems with me without even knowing me thats on them. I chose my partner and we built what we have because of love and trust. I can't be fake so I'm quiet. There's a pandemic going on I don't care about much anymore especially opinons😊
Sometimes, space/distance is the best. Before my husband and I moved in together, I knew he was from an enmeshed family were boundaries was a problem. I suggested that we move to the neighboring state. The distance created a sense of normalcy for us. My husband’s stepmother has made comments like “I’ll only visit when there’s a need” and “I’ll just come get my visit over with.” More reason to never invite her to visit us. If she decides to visit, I’ll welcome her with open arms and kindness. However, I’ll NEVER give her an invitation to come visit.
Just reminding everyone it doesn't always have to be the mother-in-law.. It can also be the daughter-in-law or the son in law that causes all the drama. These people are not always innocent just because they're younger.
For me it's the sister in law and her know it all kids. Then the in laws pamper and cater to them. They are rude and hateful and I'm not supposed to say or do anything about it. My sister in law backed into my mom's new car and then treated my mom badly about it. That's just one example. She was drunk and high when she did it.
So true. Dealing with a hateful, spiteful daughter-in-law at the moment.
I'm not doing number 2 they have had Soo many changes. And it will only lead to a huge fight.
I ghosted my in laws and don't have any contact with any of them. That works perfectly fine:-) When my husband wants to visit them, that's fine by me but he also hasn't seen them for 6 months; I tried to make it work for 16 years, the only regret I have is I wasted so much time on them;
I'm ghosting mine right now. The evil two-faced bastards.
I’m thinking about ghosting my in-laws right now. My situation is a little different though because we’re not married. We’ve been dating for 2 1/2 years and we are talking about marriage but his parents hate me because they wanted a “blonde“ girl and I’m Latina. We held a family conference where they basically just told me to my face that they would never accept the relationship. They told him how he could do so much better and everything else. So anyway, next Monday is the start of his basketball season and for the last two years I’ve had to sit with them and pretend to be all nice to them at every game. I want to just go to the game to support my boyfriend but do it from the other side of the court where I won’t see them but my boyfriend said that that will make the issue worse but at the same time I just don’t want to be around negative people anymore. What should I do?
Yep, some people are simply beyond repair. Don't waste your time on fake people. Never worth it in the end.
Renee Nealis I’m in the same boat! Dating 2 years! My boyfriend also says the same thing! I’ve decided to avoid them at all costs! Can’t stand to be near them anyway
@@jordyndoetker2933 my dad passed away 2 months ago, I decided to not make any phone calls to my inlaws and don't invite them to the funeral. That move they didn't expect:-) Don't want them in my life, not in good days and certainly not in bad days.
Just block them out of your life!
Im getting married this year and my Fiance's family (literally every single one of them) are all single or going through difficult relationship drama. They are bitter about love and have made it known. One thing in particular that was constantly happening was my future SIL was talking bad about me and my wedding and it came up to me a few times. I put her in my wedding as a courtesy to my Fiance and just recently I finally had enough with his sister and mother being rude to me and also being rude about my mother. I spoke my truth in a polite way and it got me bashed and my SIL decided to drop out as a bridesmaid. I do not think there's much I can do to make his family like me at this point so Im staying silent. It hurts deeply because I dont want my fiance to have to choose me or his family but they are tying my hands behind my back. I feel like Ive lost control of my own life and my future with my fiance is already looking shaky. I wouldn't wish this feeling on my worse enemy.
Could we have an update on your situation lovely?
@@krystiecaraballo8110 Story of my life. I want to end it. I cannot live like this,
My dear if you are not welcome now you can never be,trust me,am talking out of experience☝️
😢
I think you have to start realizing that it's actually not even about you. If it's your MIL giving you problems it is likely because she is having trouble letting go of her son and the control she had in his life before you came along. She would react this way with any daughter in law, not just you. So, it's not a personal attack. If it's a SIL, a lot of times that is an issue of competitiveness and jealousy. Again, that is a personal issue within that person that they have likely battled with their whole lives and they would react this way no matter who it is. This can be especially true if the siblings that you are married to don't have the best relationship and there is already a spirit of competitiveness within the family that you have married into. I hate it when I feel that my children are being compared to their cousins. It becomes this competition of whose kids are smarter, better-looking, more popular, etc., I have learned to walk into another room or change the subject if the conversation turns into comparing children's accomplishments. Another way to shut it down is to let them brag away and then say, "wow, that is really awesome. You must be so proud." End of conversation. Don't get dragged into a back and forth. It's taken me 16 years of marriage to figure this all out. 😂
Laughter In The Trenches same here
What about fil not liking daughter in law?
What if you are the husband and MIL is giving problems? Is it because MIL is having difficulty in her own marriage or having a hard time letting go of daughter? Almost 8 years of marriage.
Before marriage, my mil told my husband that if he ever married me or if he doesn't break up with me, he had better move to a different continent. Lol he chose me and we moved 2 hrs away. She cries victim all the time. But I don't feel bad. Some people are impossible. And she is a narcissist. She took one look at me up and down and turned her head when she first saw me (we weren't even dating. That was the first time my husband and I had ever met). Impossible I tell ya.
My spouse will not set boundaries with his family . That’s our problem. 😒
The second tip is not a good one... at least with my family.
My in-laws don’t like me . I couldn’t care less and in fact after trying to make an effort that really is never reciprocated I now enjoy rubbing them up the wrong way .
I like this idea. If they carry on with nobody (they value) stepping up to confront the bad behaviour I think I might play devils advocate! A bit of humour, a bit of mocking and asking them to clarify what they are meaning as a way to hold up the mirror to the in-laws and enablers! Here comes Christmas!
think they are not part of your world........ so if they talk ...talk, smile...smile...if ignore...just ignore.....don't show any time that you are depend on them....and don't give suggestions to them approve all their matters and just leave into trash bin bec they wont care your suggestion or anything........ just behave you didn't get affected bec of them.
Your children are yours so you bring them up as you want....you can't make whole world happy so first you be happy and dont scarify your happiness to make those who wont care you to make happy.....
Very true
That's the reason i want to breakup with my bf because in laws are horrible.
Story of my life. Me at 1 am searching youtube for ideas on what to do :D I am fed up!
My in-laws contributed 90% towards the failure of my marriage just because I am not their tribe.
They even extended the hatred to my children. Their father has abandoned them too.
I really need God's grace to raise the kids .
The only thing you can do is go no contact because all the advice you gave really does not work with people who are set in their ways. I think by this point if they’re looking up your video they have tried everything that you have suggested and it failed. Most spouses will not speak up for you because it is his parents. If his parents treat you like this it’s because the mother is narcissistic and is controlling over her son. I wish what you suggested would work but it rarely ever does.
I'm struggling with my brother's wife for years. I've tried so hard and over looked so many incidences. I've never had a relationship with my arrogant cold brother. His wife makes me feel tolerated not accepted. It's a real mess.
@@suzymoon2067 I'm so sorry you have breast cancer please take care of yourself may God bless you for caring for your mother.
I'm drained. I just gave up. I don't have any fight left in me. I tell them how I feel in regards to things I've noticed, and he sides with them and dismisses me. Fights against me about how I feel.
I know exactly how you feel, the man will get defensive when you tell him about his parents
Disagree with the ultimatum part. Sometimes it’s good to tell your husband or wife they need to step up their game and defend you when you’re being wrongfully attacked. If your spouse won’t defend you they don’t really love you.
The movie Meet the Parents is closer to reality than people think. Sometimes though you just have to say to your inlaws that you do not approve of something.
My in laws hates me to the bone when my husband asks about the issue here. They say im not on their standards n tell my husband that he deserves better even though he’s very happy in relationship. They comment on my looks, color and my personality. Its ok to handle time to time. But sometimes it gets so overwhelming that I can’t even handle
This 😭 exactly happening in my life now 😭 what to do?😢
Family conference? ahahahahahahahahahaha
I don’t deal with them, best tactic!
Not the kind of people with whom one can talk and discuss because for them they are always right. Whenever I am having a problem with my husband they immediately stop talking to me or listening to my problems..and sharing this with him makes it worse because he takes it as complaint.
Priya Nair this is common in our Indian culture :(
I verbally sent them to the trash can 🗑 and went no contact on all those demons to never allow them into my life. I don’t deal with them period!
My sister in law is so respected but she's so jealous of everything ‼️
I don’t like my fiancé’s family but I adore my partner. Sometimes I wonder what I should do: stay in the relationship and deal with it or just leave the relationship
currently, in the same spot. what did you do? what should i do?
Same...anything change??
Thanks for this video! I'll definitely try that with my inlaws.... whom I despise... and am trying SO HARD... not to.... which is hard when every moment around them... is them judging, criticizing, and being extremely empty/insincere with you.... and especially difficult when they say bad things about your mother.... who is definitely going to heaven because she's a saint...
I swear I need like a therapist or something... 5 years of inlaws who just would smile if you died...and even more so if they were the ones to personally dispatch you... it sure does make you want to drive through their living room.... (after you've confirmed no one's in the living room of course) and gleefully announce, "We're here! Oh my goodness, I just LOVE... what you've done with the place."
Serious jokes aside though... My spouse loves their family, like a lot... like they didn't even really have friends growing up because they were so close with their family, and didn't care to have any other friends.... Odd I know but it is what it is... So it's like... no matter what I say I'm wrong and they're right because they're seemingly closer than my spouse and I are.... like since the beginning, and it just has gotten progressively worse.
I just don't feel like I can compete with that. I'm not trying to compete with that or do the whole, "It's either them or me..." but on the flip side it's like it's been communicated through actions more than words, it's either them or get lost, and even if you don't get lost, you can't sit at our table because this is where the cool kids sit, and you're not cool enough.
Yeah pretty much sums it up.
Anyone out there know what I'm talking about or am I really the only special case in the world? Well... here's to being special. There. You have my side of the coin... as for the other side, could basically be summed up as, "You don't make as much money as I do so therefore you're scum and worthless and no good for your spouse." Clothes, medical, dental, food, education, it's all there... but that's just not good enough when they make over 100k and you don't :P.
Currently I'm doing the whole Computer Science thing, to become a programmer/software developer... the goal is start my own company and make millions... but something tells me that when I do make it... still won't be enough to sit at the cool table. Well... if worse comes to worse.. I can always divorce the poorer spouse, take the kid, and buy a better spouse right? Hopefully it won't come to that but anyone who gets married with the idea that you are to love your mommy and daddy and brother and sister more than your spouse... prepare for your marriage to fail.
This has been a random person's unofficial blog... written more for their sake than yours. Writing. Helps me think ;). Good luck all ye hated and despised... be better than them.
I get you...totally and completely. May the force be with us !👍
My hub does speak witj her, but never does any good. I can't help it, I HATE my monster in law.
Thank you tho.
Sweetheart it seams like you have never had a in-laws problem clearly
It's hard to find advice about mother-in-law's because of that! Most "experts" don't seem to be very familiar with this dynamic. They've only seen the classic light squabbles. Not the all out war scenario's that we're in.
How do you react with constant jabs from this monster in law???
I find this really difficult, currently experiencing it, and you just can't stoop to their level or let them know it effects you because they will have ultimately win, just always be a nice lovely person and kill them with kindness
No idea I just want to leave when that start happening. I try to leave before I get asked questions. I don't want her opinion because she did a terrible job raising her own kids. They are all super obese and narcissistic.
Smile and walk away. I literally said I will pray for her that didn’t go so well. LOL
So hard.
She said I have to lose weight if I want to marry my husband (I was a size 32) and said I better have a long sleeve dress because my arms are disgusting. She didn't speak to me on my wedding day and now I have to face her tomorrow after three 3 hears without her negative comments
If spouse is always taking inlaws side then Wat to do!!!
Run.
Thanks for your vid. It really helps me a lot. I've been experiencing hatred from them since day 1.
Thank you for watching Leny, so happy it helped you! XO
I first suspected my sister-inlaw did not like me when I first met her she compared me to his ex. Over the years it went into she called me stuff like ostrich a**, ect.
Years went into excluding my boys and I from events.
Omg I relate to this so much and I’m low key kinda frustrated cuz she’s still friends with that wh0re cuz my husband had two kids with her before which I doubt are even his tbh but she loves them and worst part is me and him have a child along the way 35 weeks pregnant and this whole time it’s been helllllllll just pure hell the father in law hates me for some reason but why? I have never done nothing to him but marry his son and produce a grandchild and I’m treated with the outermost disrespect I have ever received in my life and while pregnant he insults me under is breath in Spanish as if I cannot understand and I’m stupid and brainless pinche cul0 mamon nada pero problemas mucho problemas, dia uno desde dia uno
Thank you for this sound advice. We've previously tried steps 1, 2, & 3 with no improvements. I need to work on steps 4 & 5 for myself & being less reactive. I've been feeling helpless so THANK YOU! 💖
Thank you for watching!!
My in-laws are horrible my husband likes when they treat me badly he gets amused to see them break me down
Divorce only way out
My wife's family never liked me from the start. I thought that after we got married, they would start to warm up a bit but I was wrong, they just got worse. They never stopped pulling on her, and every minute she was with living with me was like torture to them. To be honest, my wife was not much help and was the cause of a lot of it. Every time there was a disagreement, she would go straight to the phone and call her mother or her sister. I asked her to start managing the relationship between us and her family but she never did. Her refusal to stand up for our marriage and defend me damaged our relationship tremendously. She is now staying with them and told me she missed me and wants to come home but everyone would get too angry, so there she stays.
Try counseling! You guys need to cut contact with them
On our first Christmas together, the inlaws gave out gifts to everyone but me from his ex girlfriend
If it happens again... laugh in their faces.
Next Christmas give it back to the oldest
#6: Blow them off for Thanksgiving to go hang out with your friends ;)
Quick question: is it always mother in laws and sister in laws that have a problem with their sons/brother's wife? I was judged by one even before meeting me because I'm a Latina (they're Italian) and we are apparently gold diggers. She never gave me a chance and makes comments constantly. 11 years later I'm over her/their bs (my mom overheard my husbands mom tell her friend in Italian that she doubted my son was her sons. My mom understood and called her out) they never gave me a chance :(
How about the MIL having a problem with daughters husband. It goes both ways.
Great advice! This was awesome. This is great information for when your parents may be the monster in laws to your spouse, as well.
Thanks I was feeling low and was searching for the same. I saw your video and relief after getting so many methods.
Thanks again
One of My Iron Rules is that if people don't value my friendship, my companionship, my presence then theirs is worth even less
to me. And avoidance is the best practice. That and OCS-Order of the Cold Shoulder.
Nicely done.. 😊
What should I do if my partner can't even stop his family? They are Dutch and they use their culture ( directness ) to excuse their horrible attitude.
I'm having conflict with my sisters bf and I am aware a lot of it was my fault (coming over too much, not doing the dishes the way she does them). When she tried to bully me about the way I did dishes though, all I did was walk away from her because the conflict was in her house and I respect me and my mans relationship. I just hope one day she realizes that her anger and hatred and blaming everything wrong in her life on me and others is gonna put a wedge in between me and my mans relationship
This is hard. I have been with my bf for over a year. and I don’t have a relationship with his mom
i feel bullied an my partner is kind she cant speak up or for herself im tierd for 7years i need support
I had this problem too, we will never can cange people to be good to us cause is their problem not us.
Tried all of your suggestions & trust me it doesn’t work. So far what works best is never live with them & stay far away from her. If they don’t like you oh well, some mother in law just plain psychotic & can’t accept the fact that her son moved the hell on on.. Restraining Orders if you have too that’s when your husband can’t do shiet about it..
My sister in-law mooched off is for 15 & 1/2 years. When we moved away she made me out to be the devil and said she helped get us our dream. If anything she prevented us saving money for almost 16 years! She torpedoed our relationship. If the relationship isn’t give and take...cut them off.
#2 is too idealistic & will just invite more abuse.
Problem is there are too many stubborn narcissists out there. Narcissism transcends race, religion, political affiliation, ethnicity, age, and gender. Or to put it in Layman's terms: Some people just suck.
Real solution is permanently delete them from your life but in our society it is not possible
I wish i could do but is illegal 🤣jk
Wow, Thank you very much. This brings so much peace in my mind.
I have been married for 15 years. Now I don't put my ideas on them. Last 15 years I was trying to correct them . But now I say what you do is right . Very right . In this way my wife is happy with me and my in laws . It is my suggestion.
One more very important thing dont expect anything from them not even justice .
That is so true. I would also add get a hobby outside of the house such as kayaking,fishing,ice skating,skiing etc. That is a great way to get away if you don't want to deal with them.
I deal with negative comments constantly from his family about how im a stay at home mom to how I care for my son. Me and my partner both agreeded to me staying home since daycare is expensive. And i believe my son should know respect even at a young age. I dont believe im raising him wrong however they say otherwise. I just wanna move far away from them lol
A pathetic mother/father in law is the worst parent a son/daughter could ever have.
i have a serious problem with my in-laws, i live in Afghanistan, which is really backward country and women can not go outside even they can not go to their father or uncles house without permission of father in-law or mother in-law or husband, anyway its 5 months which i did love marriage but my in-laws do not like me without my husband. now all my in-laws gossiping about me and saying things about me for my husband and others. nowadays my husband became angry at me and accept his mother's speaks. it really kills me. my mother in-law and sister in-laws are at home all day but i have a job my job is near to my home and i can make my own money but other females in my house can not because they are illiterate. and they want me to stay home like them but, i want to be independent, and i want to live how i deserve but but but no one cares about me i cry every night, im under pressure im stressed and sometime i want to kill myself.
I deeply feel your pain.
You should not be getting upset that much because you are better than them in your standards.. make them realise that you can live a better life if at all you go away from them. Just behave as if they don't exist. If it is too much to handle then tell them that you can always live a better life as you have good education and job. So better not to trouble you .
What do you do if it’s your fiancé’s STEP MOTHER 🥲🤡
What do I do when he doesn't set boundaries and tell me I m thinking wrong all the time
He's excusing their behaviour. In denial. You need to set boundaries for yourself if he doesn't change. Best wishes.
In-laws no there are out-laws
I can tell when my bfs mom is trying to start in with me. It just kind of amuses me. I try to remember not to give her any actual ammo (which would be an emotional reaction.)
She hasn’t managed to get one. The only time she’s ever exploded at me it was because I didn’t get along with her daughter and that girl’s gf. My bfs dog was sick and she was screaming at me that this was about him. My reply stopped her dead in her tacks as i asked “then what are you doing?”
I just can't deal with my in-laws they can really make one to feel insecure. Whenever i feel cutting them off my life my husband always insists us going to visit them and that puts me in an awkward space. I also don't want to loose my husband because of this.
me too
Your spouse should not be forcing you to attend a gathering. There were times my wife did not attend a gathering and of course my mother was concerned but I would just say she has the flu or during the start of COVID-19 I said she just doesn't feel comfortable being around so many people. A few times her parents came by she told them I was fishing or kayaking 😂😂😂. Every married couple should have a hobby outside of the home.
Then should I just divorce my husband because he doesn’t want to confront them and set boundaries? I’m fed up. 😵
In laws can destroy a great relationship it happened to me but the best thing u can do is move on
Been keeping to myself and nothing bothers me. I see what my inlaws do and don't do. I pay attention. None of they BS bothers me. Which in case they hate it because they cannot piss me off. LOL.
How to deal with in-laws who directly attack you if your spouse speaks to them about the problem, saying that you are the one who is putting wrong thoughts in their son's mind?
A conference wont work.. My bf is passive and avoids conflict.
What if you already love them? 🥺 and you would want them to love you back? I never want any girl to go through what I have gone through.
If these people don't know respect and boundaries then #1 #2 ect won't work. If your husband puts the blood family first then plan your financial strategy to get out of dodge.