Indiana Jones 5 Is Worse Than You Can Imagine (Dial of Destiny Spoiler Review)
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- Опубликовано: 16 июл 2024
- I was one of, like, three people in the entire world who was genuinely excited to see Dial of Destiny in theaters.
Let's see how that faith was rewarded.
Time Stamps:
00:00 - Intro
03:46 - Germany, 1944
11:35 - The Absolute State of Indiana Jones
21:41 - The Curious Case of Helena Shaw
35:02 - Teddy & Other Miscellaneous Characters
38:03 - A Taste of a Broken Plot - Indy Framed for Murder
45:47 - The Third Act Begins
51:11 - Activating the Dial of Destiny
57:38 - Indy's Final Choice
1:08:35 - "Happily Ever After"'
1:13:30 - Conclusions
Analysis Videos: • All Analysis Videos
Audio Commentaries: • Audio Commentaries
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9:15 from what i understand in physics, inertia is what you are referring to but your relative velocity will be that of the train. Like have you ever stood on a train or plane and jumped up you land in the same spot you jumped from, like floor wise to the vehicle.
It's true that when you jump you will be moving at speed of whatever you're traveling on top of, but the key difference between jumping inside a train or inside a plane, and jumping outside either one, is air resistance. Air resistance will start to slow you down while you're jumping and outweigh whatever acceleration you had while standing on top of the train. Most of the time it wouldn't be that significant of a distinction but when dealing with a train that's blasting down the tracks as fast as it is, jumping over the pole would not be as easy as this film makes it out to be.
EDIT: I'm also pinning this comment because I'm seeing other people bring this issue up as well
The issue comes when you take acceleration into account. I very nearly wanted to give that scene a pass until I remembered that if you were to do this on a train travelling quick, when you come out into the open, the air rushing towards you will exert a force and offset your initial acceleration given to you by the train and so you will decelerate and hence land up further backwards from your position(relative to the direction of travel).
If no air resistance effects existed, then you will land back in the same place unless the train was accelerating or decelerating.
The problem is, when you jump you are immediately decelerating (change in speed over *time)* as gravity tries to pull you back to Earth, while the train is still going forward at the same velocity. It's okay if you jump up and land while still in the train, because you're still traveling within a contained unit. But if you jump up from a specific spot on the outside of the train, your liftoff point is going to move while you're stuck in the air. By the time you land back on the train that location you jumped from has traveled a significant distance and you're just as likely to land between the cars as you are on any solid surface.
Youre not taking wind into the math equation, which could change the outcome depending on the speed at which youre traveling.
Once your feet leave the traveling object, you are no longer being propelled, you are only coasting off of the inertia you gained. You will start losing your momentum through a combination of no longer being pushed or propelled, but also by the wind resistance.
While inside of a vehicle, there is no wind resistance to account for, so there is seemingly no change in your relative position.
If the train is going 80mph, there is a lot of wind involved from the speed, plus the draft that the train itself is creating, increasing the relative resistance that the human body would be hit with.
Momentum falls instantly with the number that would have to be calculated above.
Im with GamingMagic13 on this one.
There is way too much wind to combat on the top of a train, jumping itself would be difficult, maintaining your position while your feet are on the train would be difficult, but maintaining your relative position after jumping would be essentially impossible.
@@stewartknoll2338 Standing on the train while moving with no wind from outside the reference frame of the train, you will feel greater than hurricane force winds (presuming the train is moving at full speed. This can be enough to lift you off your feet if you catch it wrong even without jumping. The character should be constantly leaning heavily toward the front of the train at all times bracing against it. Anything else looks silly.
Indiana jones 5 would have been better if instead of time travel, the introduced a multiverse of 50 indiana jones, each with different states in their name.
Germany Jones running away from the rolling schnitzelboulder.
Colorado Jones fighting inconsistent weather
Texas jones running from the giant bud light chasing him and like hail
Florida Jones making a quick save with his pet Gator and emergency oranges
Rhodey Jones and the call of Cthulhu
At least Spielberg and Lucas are happy. Now they can live knowing that they didn’t make the worst Indiana Jones movie.
It can always gets worse!
Lol, you thought a little CG was the worst it could get.
Dude, the same thing happened with Star Wars, George Lucas just sold his company and watched the chaos unfold in his absence.
@@Bertiboy True. Disney pretty much wrecked every worthwhile Lucasfilm property at this point. All they’ve got left now is THX1138 and American Graffiti.
Spielberg: I cashed the checks. I'm happy.
Lucas: I sold for billions. I'm happy.
Ford: I know it's crap but I'm a COWARD who wanted to cash the checks.
Kennedy: I just killed another MAN franchise. I'm happy.
Nobody goes into an Indiana Jones movie expecting a story about a broken old man, they go into these movies to watch a brave explorer do the "impossible".
They didn’t even do a good job at a subversion anyways!
I think that's the problem. It makes me think that people expecting that have never actuall watched them. Kind of like how people listen to songs over and over without knowing the words. Point being, Indy loses in Raiders, Crusade, and Skull. You could even say that Indy doesnt win in the new one, the Villain loses.
I did and I loved it
@@mikegandalfNoone did it was a massive failure of a movie
Its way better than Crystal Skulls so be thankful
I love how Helena calls Indie a Grave Digger yet she steals artifacts for money
And tries to get living people killed.
It's like if the baby in *_The Witches 1990_* met the Grand High Witch - Except instead of Luke saving the baby, it was GHW, and she *_Expects_* this kid to thank her for saving their life!! *_NO!!!_* I'm not going to be indebted to you when *_YOU ACTIVELY SHOVE MY PRAM DOWN THE HILL TOWARDS ONCOMING TRAFFIC, ONLY TO PULL ME BACK TO SEEM LIKE MY SAVIOR!!!!_*
As someone who's not an Indiana Jones fan it still annoys me to see studios and companies fuck over their audience and disappoint their fans who are so passionate about their projects
Same for me! I was never into this franchise, and this god awful final installment just proves how franchises can go from good to shit. Look at final destination
Yeah I don’t understand it!
Stop being so fuckin' nitpicky. How Indy is portrayed in DoD is nothing compared to how Luke was portrayed in TLJ.
@@EpicJoshua314 tf are you talking about? we ain't say nothing about fckin star wars
@@EpicJoshua314 False equivalent. The end of the world would be waaaay worse than the end of europe. Both suck.
22:59 It's less of a "passing of the torch" and more of a "ripping the torch from Indy's hands and burning down everything he's ever worked for."
Or, as Mauler put it, "it's not a passing of the torch, it's a torching of the past."
1. Marion/Indy lives in a nice suburb.
2. Granddaughter shows up unexpectedly cause LIVING Mutt is bothering her about choosing a college.
3. Granddaughter can't sleep and goes into Indy's study to find notes, maps, books, scrolls, relics, and hanging on the wall is a whip and an old, battered hat she puts on. Indy comes in, takes the hat, "That's mine."
4. Stays for the Summer, learning as she shows real interest in Indy's work.
5. Duo becomes involved in, "Some kind'a adventure"
6. She decides to attend the college Indy teaches at while living with Marion/Indy learning ancient languages and lore.
******************
Next movie Indy hands an older Granddaughter his whip and hat. "Yours now."
Granddaughter "Some kind'a adventure".
THIS would have been two movies I would have enjoyed.
The minute you make an Indy film without Harrison Ford is the day you might as well have a Nirvana reunion without Kurt. Nobody would give a shit (except Dave Ghrol would be there)
@@willarth9186
Why do you fill my heart with such despair upon reading this significantly better premise?
The original ending was far worse and saw Young Indy getting killed in the past, old Indy fading from existence BTTF style and Helena Shaw taking his place in all the iconic scenes from Indy 1-3.
@@TheAdmiralGhost And now Disney moves on to ruin Snow White...
Imagine all the crap films movies Bob Iger could have made if he had taken over on Jan 1, 1940...
DISNEY:
1930s Snow White and the Seven dwarves
DISNEY UNDER BOB:
1940s Snow White Takes The Power From Seven MALE Fascist Dictators
1950s Snow White and the Seven Capitalist Pigs
1960s Snow White and the Seven Black Panthers Blow Up The Pentagon
1970s Snow White and the Seven Watergate Defendants
1980s Snow White and the Seven Cocaine Dealers
1990s The rest is up to you to fill in.....
I've seen this idea posted elsewhere and I think it works a lot better for Mutt's death:
It would make more sense for Mutt to be hero-worshipping Indy and have him die in an attempt to impress Indy, than to be a 30-year-old who gets mad at his new father and then runs off to join the military to anger him. That's the thought process of a 17-year-old, not a grown adult. A grown adult would just marry an annoying woman to irritate his father, if anything. (Which is incidentally a better origin for Helena, than being a never-before-seen goddaughter.)
Personally, I'd have Mutt have become a test pilot for NASA (Mutt's stepfather was a RAF pilot in WWII), specifically a test pilot for the real-life X-15, a space plane that could fly to the edge of space. Several of the pilots were technically considered astronauts because they reached space in the X-15, and flying a superfast hypersonic jet seems in line with Mutt's general thrill-seeking nature from KotCS. And it fits the general NASA/Astronaut elements of this new film, and it means the film can just ignore the Vietnam War entirely, which is probably for the best given its political issues.
Then Mutt can die crashing in a failed attempt to break the world speed record (in real-life, the X-15 set the current speed record in 1967), and the crash is blamed on pilot error as Mutt was pushing the craft too hard in his attempt to break the record. Indy blames himself, as he's convinced that Mutt was trying to impress him/live up to him, a similar situation to Indy's own relationship with his own father. The crash leads to the whole X-15 program being cancelled.
In real-life the X-15 was retired in late 1968, just months before this film takes place, so it would fit the timing very well. Best of all, you can easily tie the villain into Mutt's death, making it have some actual plot-relevance instead of just using his death as a plot device to force a fake character arc at the last moment.
Have Indy defeat Voller at the end of the film, who in his last breath admits that he worked on the X-15 program through his connections with NASA, and that he knew Mutt. He faked the flight records to hide that the plane's rocket motor had malfunctioned, because he feared they'd scuttle the program if they realized there was a design flaw instead of simple pilot error. But they canceled it anyway, because NASA wanted to focus on the moon landing. He tells Indy that Mutt was actually a great pilot, and actually did beat the speed record before the crash.
Then Voller dies, having both proven he's not a total dick, and giving Indy some catharsis by revealing that he didn't indirectly cause Mutt's death after all.
Do you think Phoebe Waller-Bridge knows anything about US history or even the canon of Indiana J9nes so far do come up with something that satisfying? Nope. I don't even think she loved the franchise and the Indy character as much as the fans do. It was her idea to kill Mutt off. Harrison Ford found out about this halfway through filming when he got back from an injury. I think that many fans are composing their own fanfictions in their heads to make this entire movie not so. I know I am.
Honestly I’d watch that film, sounds pretty compelling
Indiana Jones fans: How could they do this?
Star Wars fans: First time?
So true it's painful.
It's outrageous! It's unfair!
@@jonastrach8851 "Take a seat, young Skywalker"
After seeing Star Wars and now Indiana Jones are burnt to the ground: I HATE YOU!!!
No the Crystal Skulls was way worse. Kate Blanchett was the ONLY good thing in it
Indiana Jones Dial Destinies seems like the type of movie to make me want to time travel back to prehistoric times to get my head eaten by a dinosaur
You want to off yourself by dinosaur, I want to go all the way back to give the first Tiktaalik fish a firm “NO!” and throw the thing back into the ocean
Dial Destinies eh? Nice touch
Lol XD
"Dial of Destiny" is one creative way to call "plot armour" you gotta give them that
Yep from know on when a character has plot armor we will call it character name and there dial of destiny. Joining the ranks of nuking the fridge.
You aren't alone. I was honestly miserable for the entire thing. The most enjoyable part was the advertisements before the film and when it ended.
Edit: The whole theater was full of elderly people and they were all silent from start to finish and I heard one of them mutter, "That sucked." While leaving.
Couldn't say the same; my theater was absolutely _loving_ this film. The cameos, the jokes, the ending, everything. They clapped and laughed through the whole thing.
I mean, I'm glad they enjoyed it, and I don't fault anybody for finding enjoyment in this movie. I was just baffled by it.
My theater was the same. Everybody loved it, including me. The reason I think some people hate it is because they wrote their own movie in their head, and it that didnt end up being the movie they watched. And then the superfan making this video talking about luckiness and plot armor being a red flag? Is this a joke? Don't make videos about a franchise that youve never seen. Explain the physics of jumping out of an airplane in an inflatable raft and get back to me.
@@robertturi2264 I guess you missed the part of the video where I explicitly called that out as a problem I have with Temple of Doom.
“Franchises you’ve never seen” lmao.
@@GamingMagic13eah dude, it's part of your schtick I guess. In another post I compare what you do to people that really like listening to a song over and over without knowing the words to the song. How about coming face to face with Hitler when you're being hunted by the entire Nazi regime. Indy's thing is luck. I mean, one of the serials (you do know what that is, right) that Lucas used to demonstrate the origins of this franchise sees the hero in front of a 6 man firing squad, which he escapes because they all 6 shooters miss by inches. You are literally criticizing the very essence of the character.
@@robertturi2264 I also explicitly cover the point of "Indy has always gotten lucky" in this video. Seems you missed that as well.
What were you saying about "listening to a song over and over without knowing the words to the song/not actually watching things," again?
I’m not even a massive Indiana Jones fan, but I think I speak for us all when I say I am so sick and fucking tired of companies taking beloved movie franchises and completely ruining and taking away what made them so successful and fun to watch.
fr! It's pathetic and pittiful how franchises start off good, then immediately fall to shambles. Look at paranormal activity
You know it's bad when SpongeBob has more realistic writing than you
SpongeBob has classic episodes like Krusty Krab Pizza, and even newer good episodes like Best Day Ever. SpongeBob isn’t perfect (Seasons 6-8 are hated by basically everyone for very good reasons), but it’s Shakespeare compared to this trash.
Even Seasons 6-8 did have bright spots now and then (with 8 being surprisingly not bad minus “Pet Sitter Pat” and setting the stage for Seasons 9-10 to bring the show back to its glory days).
I am *NOT* a SpongeBob fan, I am sorry. But I *AM* willing to grit my teeth and *TRY* watching that, as opposed to watching *NINE TENTHS* of what's on streaming services nowadays!!!!
I am not even a Indiana jones fan. And i wanted Indiana Jones franchise to end with a bang not a whimper. Glad that Indiana jones 5 didn't end with the ending the director wanted. Where Indiana jones died in the past and the mary sue takes his place and becomes the new Indiana jones
Actually, Phoebe Waller-Bridge DID have blame in how Helena Shaw was written. Multiple people have mentioned how much say she had in portraying her. She was the one who approached Mangold and wanted Helena to be such a jerk (though she called it “sassy”) so that Helena could go through “growth”. Although I do agree that attacking her looks is too far.
Considering her statements in interviews of how she thinks Helena is such a great character too, just goes to show what kind of person the actress is….
Honestly I feel bad for GamingMagic since it seems like he was the only person I knew that had hopes for this movie to be good, while I was absolutely sure that he was going to be disappointed! XD
*“Modern Disney try not to ruin a big legendary legacy IP” challenge:* Literally IMPOSSIBLE
You forgot that whilst Inidana Jones was wanted on suspicion of murder, he went to an airport to board a flight.
An airport... When wanted for murder...
I'd love to see him hand over his passport.
You might find this time stamp interesting 42:09
@@GamingMagic13 Ah sorry, I completely missed that haha
Never let GamingMagic13 near Velma or we will all be doomed
True.
Can’t wait for him to rip that to shreds.
@@StarmisYTwatching him rip that show a new one would be a doozy.
Yeah, he probably wouldn't bother since there are way too many channels shredding that series apart, that you don't have to figure out anything worst that nobody picked up on.
More like Velma will be doomed. Heheheheh
Here's something from MauLer's most recent video that I think is pretty relevant:
"Back in the day, movies had what you could call a 'skill floor.' They only got so bad. We're at a point now where the floor has been annihilated, revealing a basement beneath. A basement with a well. A bottomless fucking well of agony. There's really no telling what's on the way at this point."
As well as this, from his rage on the 2018 Predator:
"Why is it that whenever a fucking classic franchise is added to, it comes across as the people who are writing it fucking hate it?!"
Ahh, a man of culture I see. Still waiting for his next part of his TFA critique.
@muigokublack6487 Glad I'm not the only one sweating for part 5. 😅
Great job! Your videos actually inspired me to write my own essay, “How The Really Loud House Destroyed Everything”.
Edit: I’m going to ignore all the shit that surrounds the animated Loud House. There’s this moronic sentiment about how it got worse as the years went on, but I’ve actually enjoyed a few of the more recent episodes. It’s a very hit or miss show, and it sucks that the shit overshadows the gold. The Really Loud House made me appreciate the animated show so much more. The way TRLH just destroyed what TLH stood for Disney remake style is unforgivable and I can’t wait to rip it to shreds. I’m also posting it on Wattpad bc I’m broke.
Will you post it? Im interested
Do it!
Y’know, considering how low The Loud House sunk after its first seasons, I don’t think there’s much left to destroy.
I’d love to hear how you think the live-action version betrayed the source material, though.
That's awesome; I don't know anything about The Really Loud House, but I'm honored to hear I inspired you to create your own project of that caliber. Best of luck with it!
@@GamingMagic13So, is Indiana Jones 5 your new Number 1 despised movie?
The metal pole part was the thing that bothered me the most. It’s never addressed or shown how he survived that but we’re supposed to believe he did. There were a thousand ways they could’ve knocked him off the train without killing him, but instead they had to opt for something that was arguably more lethal than his actual death.
Say it with me now.
WHO WROTE THIS??
Granted I still did enjoy most of the opening more than other parts of the movie.
Who wrote this? The son of Lawrence Kasdan. This is an example of what different generations think is acceptable.
@@erynlasgalen1949 Is that true? I couldn’t find Dial of Destiny in either of his sons’ filmographies
You know what would have made the ending better? If Indy’s (what he thought would be his) dying wish would be asking for the girl Indy to save Mutt. Then when he woke up, the scene with Marion would make more sense. They then show that Mutt was still alive, and he gets his happily ever after
Wouldn’t fix the film, but the ending would make more sense
I like this idea a lot. Like you said, it's not a perfect solution, but it's certainly better than what we got.
@@GamingMagic13 1. Marion/Indy lives in a nice suburb.
2. Granddaughter shows up unexpectedly cause LIVING Mutt is bothering her about choosing a college.
3. Granddaughter can't sleep and goes into Indy's study to find notes, maps, books, scrolls, relics, and hanging on the wall is a whip and an old, battered hat she puts on. Indy comes in, takes the hat, "That's mine."
4. Stays for the Summer, learning as she shows real interest in Indy's work.
5. Duo becomes involved in, "Some kind'a adventure"
6. She decides to attend the college Indy teaches at while living with Marion/Indy learning ancient languages and lore.
********************
Next movie Indy hands an older Granddaughter his whip and hat. "Yours now."
Granddaughter "Some kind'a adventure".
THIS would have been two movies I would have enjoyed.
With the “I don’t believe in magic” line, did they briefly get him confused with Han Solo or something?
Considering Harrison Ford portrayed *Both* characters?? Wouldn't surprise me
Both are old men in terrible sequels 😏
I find it really amusing how Indiana Jones 5 managed to both shit on Crystal Skull by scrapping the passing of the torch entirely and undoing his marriage, and be even worse than Crystal Skull... For much of the same reasons the Star Wars sequel trilogy ended up being terrible. No wonder when you know Kathleen Kenedy was part of the producers.
This movie pretty much repeated the same beats as the Disney Trilogy. This wasn't Indiana Jones. This was Illinois Jones in much the same way it was Jake Skywalker in TLJ.
Star Wars Prequels maybe bad but the Sequels are worse, same with Crystal Skull it's bad but Dial of Destiny is rock bottom.
I actually think the Sequel Trilogy are a mixed bag. I mean I like Force Awakens, Last Jedi was not bad, and Rise of Skywalker had good ideas just the execution of it. They’re not as good as the original trilogy, but they’re better than the prequel trilogy.
@kasam0308 No just no. You have to rewrite the entire of Disney's trilogy to even fix it. Prequels just needs touch ups to make them good.
no, Last Jedi was objectively awful in many many MANY ways@@kasam0308
Welcome to how us Star Wars fans felt with the Disney Trilogy. We've saved you a seat. We had to go through the same thing not once, not twice, but THREE times in regards to Han, Luke, and Leia. (Four if you count the Leia Poppins scene)
Lucasfilm's MO seems to be:
1. Bring back hero as a broken, sad old man
2. Pair up with an English brunette (totally not a KK insert)
3. Have said companion be better than the main character and both belittle and humiliate them
4. Replace them WITH said character regardless if they've earned it or not
5. ???
6. Profit?
Seriously, this movie is bad but it could've been SOOO much worse if they had kept the original ending where Old Indy meets his younger self and later is shot by Voler and dies causing Old Indy to be erased from history and after the bad guys are defeated in order to "preserve the timeline" Helena Shaw would stay in the past and retroactively become Indiana Jones leading into her own Disney+ series.
But this proves KK without Steven and George can't make a good movie to save her life and said directors can sigh in relief that someone managed to make an even worse Indy film. At least Crystal Skull gave him a happy ending.
I think they went a different way to show what time does to a person good or bad and how they handle it.Indy was a broken man but still had one more big adventure left to live and seemed to discover what was really important in Life.I did not like some aspects of Helena character but still think its not a bad movie
@@troyjenkins3886 That's still no reason to do what they did to his character. As shown with Dr. Henry Jones who too was old but still full of pep and life. There are ways to do it and do it right and I'm sick and tired of seeing heroes be brought back as sad old men who just want to die. No one wants to see that and you're lying if you say otherwise.
And no he didn't discover what was important because Fleabag punched his ass out and took away any autonomy he had. She made the choice for him.
@@muigokublack6487 I didnt like the punch out myself,prob one of the worst parts of the movie.She could of hit him with something or he could of passed out.I know he was older and wounded pretty bad but that was uncalled for.I still think he discovered what was important wheither her character is responsible or not.
Star Wars and Indy are almost shared fanbases, ofc, they are both by the same person and distributed by the same company, both have Harrison Ford and magnificent John Williams' scores, many Star Wars fans are Indy fans too (like myself, although I kinda liked Indy by bits I saw on the tv as a kid, Lego Star Wars was what got me into the franchise, and I saw the Indy movies after watching Star Wars), some people will lean more towards Star Wars and other towards Indy, maybe because the latter one is a fun adventure series which is easy to follow in comparison with Star Wars which has a more dense lore? (I'm not saying it's complicated to understadn bc it's a hero's journey, good vs evil), after all, one freanchise is set "a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away" and the other is set in the past of our real world, but both share mysticism, action and adventure.
@@jesustovar2549 I'm aware friend haha I just never got into Indy, was always more a Star Wars guy. Sci-fi has always been my bread and butter but I pour one out for all Indy fans going through the same thing we did with the Disney Trilogy. Harrison Ford may not care about the characters he plays but I do.
It's disturbing how many people seem to think harsh criticism doesn't come from a place of love. I'd love to see your expanded thoughts on this film like you did on Toy Story 4, frankly not enough people are willing to break down every small piece of a movie and show how it disturbs the greater whole.
Thank you! So many people call gamingmagic13 garbage but he just cares about movies so much and in terms of games likes sonic adventure 2 sure he wasn’t the best player but he was genuinely not having a good time and people are just blinded by nostalgia!
Since Ke Huy Quan got back in the spotlight recently, I think having an adult Short Round be the next Indiana Jones would’ve been better.
I can almost guarantee the writers were kicking themselves for not bringing back Short Round after Everything Everywhere All At Once came out last year.
And _definitely_ earlier this year after the Oscars.
I feel like I owe Kingdom of the Crystal Skull an apology after seeing Dial of Diarrhea
Maybe Diarrhea of Destiny would be a better nickname
You don’t. It’s still bad
at least skull gives a indy a good ending, plus the warehouse scenes and the motorcycle chase are some good indy action, you won't find anything like those in dial
It's too bad you went to a different movie with a similar title. I saw Dial of Destiny and enjoyed it mostly, even though I agree with many of the negative criticisms.
@@bruceheinsius7591 Ok, I retract my comment on this video. Dial of Destiny wasn’t bad like I thought it was going to be. I thought it was going to be like what happened with Star Wars, but I was dead wrong
Fun fact: the scene at 45:32 was originally going to be a sword fight scene, but because the actor of Indiana jones (Harrison ford) was not feeling well that day, he just decided to shot the guy. They kept that in the final version we all know to this day
My favorite part is when we see Indy buying supplies to use, and then the lead female role mentions how much money he has spent on the supplies they will surely use, then throughout the film we see him struggling to haul the supplies he had bought, and then in the scene after that he never used any of the stuff he had bought, not a single one.
WOOHOO! LONG RANT! Don't care about Indiana Jones, but huzzah! I love it when you rant like this, and detailed rant, not just yelling and such.
Same here
The theory is that the rotten tomatoes viewer ratings are obviously being artificially buffed by fake reviews not surprising after all the controversy involving rotten tomatoes scores
We can only hope Toy Story 5 does NOT fall into the same trap as this movie did.
I hope toy story 5 will be decent
It will
You have too much optimism.
Toy story moved to "freedom and escapade from duty" arc
I do not believe this direction is going to be changed, since its deeply rooted in this agenda, which people praise and fund nowadays
@@SnugWugs137 Well, you know me.
as a woman, I'm so fucking tired of studios shitting on legacy characters as a way to be like 'look how STRONG this woman is! Isn't she GREAT?' Like please I'm begging these studios to just....write a good fucking character?
We like Ellen Ripley, Leia, Ahsoka, Ghost-Spider, Hornet.....we don't need this kind of 'lol look how AWESOME I am compared to this washed up male oldie!' character....
Pretty late but I need to let this out. I feel like this is more harmful then it seems. Im a teenager so I grew up at the time when Hollywood started doing that and I always felt like I have to be perfect and proove myself to the boys that I’m better then them in everything I do and I wasn’t the only one. I don’t wanna get too personal but I feel like we should really show that women have flaws, and that it’s ok to fail sometimes, it dosent mean your less strong. Showing a perfect women isn’t inspiring to anyone
Me: At least this isn’t as bad as Gaming Magic 13’s biggest rival and opponent, Toy Story 4-
Trevor: if I had to pick between this and Toy Story Four, I would honestly pick the latter.
Me: WHAT-
I love that these videos are basically GamingMagic13 telling the directors “Sorry to burst your bubble dream boy” (Shark Boy and Lava Girl reference)
While I can’t say that I care much for Indiana Jones as a franchise, I CAN say that I would LOVE to hear you tear apart this movie in excruciating detail for hours on end like you did with Toy Story 4. I never get tired of the raw vocal passion you put into these analyses.
Have you considered joining Mauler and the others on Every Frame A Pause? I feel like you'd fit right in.
I'm not very familiar with them, but generally speaking when it comes to collaborating with other RUclipsrs I'm always very apprehensive about such a thing. I also don't wanna approach other creators like "hey can i join plz?"
But if anybody ever reaches out to me, I would certainly be open to it.
@@GamingMagic13 I hope you get more attention. I loved watching your Incredibles 2 videos.
I was thinking the same thing. I think he'd fit well on EFAP.
I remember in early-mid July, one of my college friends was pissed about the new Indiana Jones, saying it rotted her brain and made her feel “unclean”. I bought her tickets to see Elemental, and she said she refused to look away from the screen, she was so invested. She was so grateful that she gave me Insomnia Cookie. A small act of kindness goes a long way.
I'll take elemental over Indiana Jones 5 any day now
If I had a nickel every time a classic character played by Harrison Ford was hilariously bastardized in a continuation of a previously established franchise, I’d have two nickels; which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice.
I guess we should be thankful that Blade Runner wasn't already the second time.
It could happen more times. Jack Ryan, President James Marshall, Harry Kimble...
If they didn’t send Star Wars out on a high note with the sequel trilogy, what made you think that Indiana Jones would be any different?
See, you gotta understand that I don't have the same level of investment in Star Wars I do with Indiana Jones. I've seen a lot of people on my discord server talking about how much Lucasfilm destroyed Star Wars, but I've never had anything insightful to offer because I've never been a fan of the series. So I had no ill will against the studio going into Dial of Destiny.
It also might simply be a case of naivety and hopeful optimism.
@@GamingMagic13 But Disney and Pixar (and generally Hollywood these days) were already screwing up with their latest products, that should have been a warning, a lot of people boycotted the movie and that's why it's being a box office flop.
I would love to see a 20 hour breakdown of the movie. It's always nice to just hear someone critically dunk on a movie, and helps at avoiding stupid mistakes when one starts write themselfs
Frickin' called it.
Call me a cynical old bat, but Disney has pretty much destroyed any faith I had that any of their current or future projects will be any good. They ruined the Incredibles. They ruined Aladdin. They ruined Beauty and the Beast. They ruined Toy Story. Now I get more enjoyment out of watching the company fail than actually watching their movies.
They also ruined Star Wars and are ruining Marvel.
Oh no they’re gonna ruin Phineas and Ferb too oh no…
One of the theories I've heard for why Indy's son was killed off screen was because the heads of Lucasfilm wanted to close the door on any chance of him returning to the franchise as a protagonist. Like they wanted to go all in on this Helena character being the protagonist of the franchise, so they needed to ensure there was no other character that fans can complain about not becoming the main character. Basically, they wanted to eliminate all other possible options in order to make sure no one can complain. And considering the way they wrote Helena, I believe it.
The problem with this theory is that Lucasfilm could’ve tried to do that with the Star Wars Disney + shows (And Rebels), by ignoring the Prequel Trilogy entirely, so they can focus on the new Star Wars Films and the Original Trilogy.
Your talk about Helena with Indy being treated as less of an importance reminds me of Timmy and Chloe from FairlyOddParents, where Chloe is written entirely as a brand new perfect character who can do no wrong, and Timmy being written as a selfish annoying brat that was never his character.
My family watched the older Indiana Jones last week, we haven't seen the new one. But when we finished crystal skull I Sarcasticly said "I hope they don't have relationship problems in the new movie" yeah and I guess we saw how that turned out.
I don't understand why movies that end with happy relationships, always end up having those relationships broken up in the sequel. It's like Hollywood doesn't know how to depict a happy family.
That's because writing a happy family and a mature relationship is damned hard. Especially if you've never seen one yourself
Ive never seen any of the Indiana jones movies, but the passion and detail put into this video helped a lot in putting context into how important indie was to ya, and how atrocious dial of destiny really was. great video
You should check them out some day, when you have time, especially the first 3.
The only reason I look forward to movies like Indiana Jones and the Dial-up of Density nowadays is bc I enjoy seeing the reviewers rip it to absolute shreds
Same here.
Yeah everybody would rather base their descison on the negative opinions of a You Tube reviewer.Im not saying some of the critizism isnt justified but once a movie starts trending one way or the other then thats which way the masses go.I dont like what Disney has become,not a fan but went into the movie with a open mind and left saying that wasnt bad.
@troyjenkins3886 it still failed at the box office it was a joke of a movie and a deconstruction of Indiana Jones if you say this movie is good then you are trolling because it is far from it
@@theganer420 Im just a independent thinker.I grew up when Disney was trully magic and now they aren't but still dont think the movie was all that bad.If you dont like the movie based on your personal feelings about it,hey im good with it,but people nowadays seem to care more about whats trending than their owm opinions.
fuck yeah! I love these aggressive vitriolic reviews, not enough people have the balls to vent their hatred towards a film while maintaining a critical mindset
Not a lot of people have the **ability** to both be vitriolic and critical
@@crumpscrumbs I know right.
35:13-35:57
As someone who did rewatch Temple of Doom recently, I absolutely agree with all the points made about Short Round as a character. From his introduction with driving a car to helping Indiana save the day, he is a well rounded companion to Indiana Jones in what is technically his first big adventure on the big screen (because prequel) and Ke Huy Quan provides a sense of wonder and excitement in a movie that wasn’t afraid to go to some really dark places
Temple of Doom might not be everyone’s favourite movie in this series but I feel fans overtime will be talking about it whilst the same cannot be said for Dial of Destiny
Here's another way they could've handled Mutt better. Have him be a famous archaeologist like his father. Then have Helena try and contact him for help with an urgent matter, only for Indie to inform her that Mutt is away on an expedition and can't be contacted. Then she convinces Indie it's world threatening and he goes with her on his last adventure.
Yesterday i saw dial of destiny with my dad ( big indiana jones fan) and we come out totally speech less, we were so dissapointed that the drive back home was just silence and the last time we where in the cinema was when we saw spiderman across the spiderverse and we both came out so happy and even if my dad didn't understand half of what was happening because he didn't saw the first movie, he still was fascinated with what he saw and he also decided to watch the first movie because he like it that much and wanted to be prepared for when the second part comes out, so sad that he had to see one of his favorite charachters in cinema assasinated right before his eyes and i will never forgive disney for this.
It wasn't bad at all why can't you see that
What's weird to me is that this film had four writers, and yet large parts of the film are lifted from Frank Darabont's original script for Kingdom of the Crystal Skull from twenty years ago. A female side-character (albeit a teenage daughter for Indy, in place of Mutt), Indy is framed for the murder of an FBI agent, a former Nazi character who wants to resurrect the Third Reich; even the name comes from there, as the original name of the skull was the "Crystal Skull of Destiny".
Wow great review and respect the time and effort put into it ....bravo
WAIT A SEC!! I literally fell asleep to your ts4 video and it was epic - like I was blown away by how bad the movie was, and then I wake up and you uploaded a brand new banger of a video!? Subscribed!
The things I love about the first 3 Indiana Jones movies which made me a fan is that the artifacts Indie was searching for and finding where actually legends in cultures. The Arc of the Convenient, the Stones of Sankara are from Hindu culture, and the Holy Grail one of the biggest legends in European and biblical culture. These are legendary artifacts in our world that can or cannot be real that Indie went out and found. I would have much more appreciated if Indie went in search of The Golem from Jewish Culture or Noah’s Arc or the burial Shroud of Jesus. But no they had him go on a west for a Time Machine that was actually found in our real world and guess what it’s not a Time Machine in our world.
Im Not an Indi Fan But i Feel your pan This is the pain The star wars community feels every year
I’d genuinely want to see the extended version of this later. I love your reviews.
I have no idea how you can get enjoyment out of these reviews, but you do you.
26:37
Gaming magic praising Toy Story 4 is proof all hope is lost for humanity
The world is coming to an end and nothing can save us
Yup
@@joaquinm9148That's all wrong. Nothing bad will happen, when nobody truly believes so.
@@portalgaming8057 My comment was a joke btw
@@joaquinm9148 Well, do you think GamingMagic13 says this movie is the worst movie he's ever watched?
Absolutely fantastic work as usual, GM13!
Gonna be honest, I think your one of the best long form critiquers. (No idea if that the title of content like this.) And it's nice having someone who talks about movies that don't work WITHOUT saying "it's woke that's why it's bad" When these films are bad for other reason, not because it has a gay kiss or a female character.
True, they are bad for other reasons...but also bad because of woke. Because how can you have a good movie when your lady main character isn't allowed to have believable flaws, and therefore arcs overcoming those flaws?
This series should have been a trilogy, but those executives wanted more than that.
Honestly you could say this exact comment about Toy Story.
1. Marion/Indy lives in a nice suburb.
2. Granddaughter shows up unexpectedly cause LIVING Mutt is bothering her about choosing a college.
3. Granddaughter can't sleep and goes into Indy's study to find notes, maps, books, scrolls, relics, and hanging on the wall is a whip and an old, battered hat she puts on. Indy comes in, takes the hat, "That's mine."
4. Stays for the Summer, learning as she shows real interest in Indy's work.
5. Duo becomes involved in, "Some kind'a adventure"
6. She decides to attend the college Indy teaches at while living with Marion/Indy learning ancient languages and lore.
******************
Next movie Indy hands an older Granddaughter his whip and hat. "Yours now."
Granddaughter "Some kind'a adventure".
THIS would have been two movies I would have enjoyed.
Reminds me of the line in Hamilton:
"You got more than you gave."
"And I wanted what I got."
@@RavenStarMediaIf TS5 sucks, then the Toy Story series will be just like the Indiana Jones series in terms of quality.
So much important story happening off-camera is the biggest problem with Lucasfilm these days. You can’t make Indy into a sad, old broken man out of nowhere when the last time we saw him on screen he was just fine. If you’re gonna deconstruct a character, there needs to be a good reason why they ended up the way they are, and you need to show us how it unfolded *on screen* not tell us later!
If you think Indiana Jones 5 was bad…
*You’re gonna hate Toy Story 5.*
Considering how bad TS4 was...
i fully get this rage cause im similar to you but with star wars instead and god i can feel the exact anger as i felt back when the star wars sequals came out. Seeing your heroes getting destroyed like this is just pure fucking pain. Idk what the people do over there in lucas films but god do they need to get there shit together
I could go all day with Star Wars but Dial Of Destiny managed to cram everything people hated about the Disney Trilogy into one movie. Impressive. Most impressive.
@@muigokublack6487 oh yeah from what GM had said in this vid i fully see that
The retcon of "Indy and Mary are no longer together!" and the general disregarding of Kingdom of the Crystal Skull feels very reminiscent of the way the star wars Ep 7-9 (Especially TFA movies treated the prequels).
Like sure, the previous film released had it's problems, but trying to retcon and erase history will just make things worse. It would be better to celebrate the previous films instead of trying to "fix them" or "atone for them".
Hey Trevor, just wanted to let you know what pretty much a lot of people have already said, your film reviews are great! I think your Toy Story 4 video is your magnum opus, a type of analysis video that goes beyond simply looking at a movie from a superficial perspective and fully deconstructs it scene by scene only to prove one point: very little, you may even go as far as to say nothing, works. The Incredibles 2 review is also great, and a clear step-up considering how angry you originally sounded (which personally I didn't mind). You Cars on the Road review is so funny, but also has well put together as any other video. And despite being old, your Danganronpa 3 review series is also good. I'm so excited to see your Lightyear, Ralph Breaks the Internet and Toy Story 3 reviews! Your Elemental review showed me that positive reviews is something that I need in my life even more so than negative ones. Negative reviews if done right can teach us lessons and be genuinely funny, but positive reviews makes us step back and praise what was done right and have a moment of peace from all the garbage that is produced nowadays.
Essentially, your film reviews are great! Even if I don't agree with some points or arguments, most of the time you make really good points, so props to you for that. Have a good day.
As someone who grew up with these movies as a kid (and Lego Indy 2, great game, awesome mention) it was euphoric to see you tear this film to shreds as it deserves. I'd love to see you come back to it eventually once it releases digitally to give it some round two lashings.
I was really hyped for your next review and I can certainly say you do not disappoint
this movie made me realize Crystal Skull was a lot better than I thought.
31:53 - 31:55 "Shut the fuck up you actual burnt French fry!" Lmfao I love that.
Its sad how this is some of the most anger I've seen Trevor have, yet its all warranted
I love the way you spin insults- definitely putting some of these into my own vocab
3:54 As someone who was exceedingly passionate about railways as a kid, it really bothers me seeing a very British 9F steam locomotive in 1940’s Germany when the 9Fs didn’t even exist until the mid-50s. Clearly they didn’t care enough to research even the smaller details.
Well we didn't convert over to jet engines until the late 40''s but the German had a jet engine in 1937.
I know that not everyone views Raiders from this perspective, but I like the ending of the movie and I think it's the best part; given Spielberg's career, that movie is in large part a revenge film against the Nazis and there was no better way to end it than to have them face the wrath of God Himself. That's a much stronger condemnation of everything they were than to just have Indy bring them down. I get why some people wouldn't like that the conflict of the movie is basically resolved by an act of God (one might say a deus ex machina) but I think that the gruesome death scenes the villains receive perfectly matches the movie's pulpy nature and rewards Indy for having reverence for the Ark and its significance, as opposed to the Nazis who just see it as a vehicle for wealth and national glory. The Last Crusade did well to have this both ways as Donovan gets his comeuppance for his ignorance towards the Holy Grail but Indy gets to do more with the knowledge he has besides close his eyes, but I love the ending of Raiders for how viscerally and unequivocally it destroys evil.
It's why the Ark of the Covenant is my favorite Christian artifact!(Considering the fact that I myself am Christian.)
😊 another fantastic video man keep up with the fantastic video
"The Star Wars prequels are garbage"
>the sequels release
"uh...maybe we treated the prequels too harshly*
"Willow is fine, but it's no Lord of the Rings"
>Willow show releases
"ok, maybe Willow is pretty good and enjoyable as it is, no need to compare".
"Crystal Skull is garbage and the worst Indiana Jones film"
>Dial of Destiny releases
"...fuck"
I’m so glad to hear I’m not the only fan of Short Round! Quan killed it in that role as a great kid sidekick to the point that I personally actually like his dynamic with Indy & his character more than Marion & Jones Sr. even though I like their films in the original trilogy more.
I'm a bit late to this, but let me tell you, love your work man, you got the words right out of my mouth to how I felt about this movie, Indy didn't feel like Indy and I hated Helena as a character, my theater was empty because I watched that movie with my family weeks after the premier, and I couldn't be less disappointed of how this movie turned out, keep in mind, Indiana Jones was my dad's childhood hero, and while he did say he enjoyed it, it's still makes my blood boil as to how attrocious this movie felt, coming from me, who isn't really an Indiana Jones fan, it was just a bad movie overall
Helena and Indy should've had a similar dynamic to Nate and Sully from Uncharted, in those games. What we got with them instead was more like the 'Nate' and 'Sully' from the movie-that-must-not-be-named.
GamingMagic. Your rants are both funny and informative of how the movie is bad. Keep doing it!
I find it oddly coincidental that both this and Toy Story 4 had the main character want to leave their crew behind for a ridiculous purpose.
Personally and feel free to disagree,
There were many aspects of kingdom of the crystal skull that I always really liked and I would have loved to see a continuation of the story. Mutt could have developed into a much better version of himself, still sporting an even cooler leather jacket, and maybe his own style of adventure hat similar to his fathers. Honestly, everything about dial of destiny makes kingdom of the crystal skull seem about a thousand times more palatable. Like yeah, there's a bunch of incoherent nonsense but at least some of that could have been fixed by this movie if it just picked up where the last ones story left off and there's still some pretty good action scenes, neat evil Russians, and Indy is definitely still Indy just old Indy unlike this movie, which seemed to turn him into a viciously incompetent sock puppet somewhat resembling his former self by making his decisions things that he would never do or think given his prior actions and go completely against his established character.
I think the You tube edit of Indiana Jones teaming up with the Avengers, Mr. Incredible, Frozone, Yoda, Shrek, Po, and Gru to defeat El macho was more loyal to Indy and made more sense
Can you send me a link to that video?
Yeah sure here
ruclips.net/video/23UGbjiXUlU/видео.html
wait--
@@rahelhundie348 what
Why did Indiana Jones say I don’t believe in magic and then I’ve been tortured with voodoo
idk why but you're probably the only person who's hour long critiques keep me invested all the way through.
i'm actually disappointed if you don't eviscerate bad movies in 1h+. that toy story 4 review was the best thing to listen to and watch in the field of internet critique.
Lol! Awesome video! You remind me of Dishonored Wolf. Epic review/rant. You got a new subscriber.
The fact that Archimedes was galaxy brained enough to create a device that can enable time travel is an incredible feat in itself. It's something that would have several implications that the movie doesn't acknowledge.
Also, he is intelligent enough to create a time traveling device but isn't smart enough to win a war.
Also, also, why didn't Archimedes use the dial himself to travel back a few days or months to change earlier events in his favor.
Also, also, also, how did he even know how time travel works if he hasn't attempted it before? If he did attempt it, where did he go and what did he do?
This is the same problem Harry Potter fans have with the "Time Turner" in Prisioner of Azkaban.
I don't know how to answer that question hahahahahha
One of the reasons I loved Ghostbusters: Afterlife is because they treat characters old and new with respect. Egon went to an abandoned farm to build a giant ghost trap to protect his family. Is Afterlife perfect no but I like it better than the reboot from seven years ago. And I can't wait for Firehouse to come out on December 20th.
I totally agree. Honestly, I never understood why Hollywood can't understand when it's time to pass the torch. The first 3 movies of Indiana Jones were great. With "The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull", they should have realized that the success was fading, so why not let Indy live his old life with wife and son and either go back in past, showing the adventures of the younger Indiana Jones (with another actor) before "Raiders Of The Lost Ark" or in present with a new character, e. g. "Indiana Jack" (also a new actor) having his own adventures and Indiana Jones giving good him advices when he meets him accidentally or calls him by phone. But no, they really think everybody wants to see an old frustrated grumpy man with a Mary Sue beside him insulting him constantly. By the way, watching the game in the background is truly much more entertaining than everything they have shown in the latest movie.
If you though this was insane, Indiana Jones and the Infernal Machine is probably worse with how bullshit the situations are in the final act.
@GamingMagic13 man I know I talking about another video of yours but thank you, for making the Lego star wars the complete saga series. it was really helpful.
Quick question: Do you plan on doing a much more in depth breakdown of this movie when it comes to streaming or dvd? Or are you just planning on keeping it like this?
Also, side note, Indiana Johnes and the Staff of Kings apparently has a better version on the PSP, so if you wanna check it out, then there ya go.
Also they could have easily had Indiana Jones teach her as a new apprentice throughout the film while still keeping his character intact.
These writers...
So weird question but if you had to rewrite the surving cast of Danganronpa 1, 2, and V3 how would you do IYO?
Do you watch Every Frame a Pause? If not I highly recommend them. You approach media criticism very similarly. Focusing on the writing, characters, and their consistency is my favorite way to look at media.
Ok I am not done with this yet but I need to comment on 12:00. WHAT THE HELL IS WITH DISNEY AND GIVING CLASSIC BELOVED CHARACTERS DIVORCES!? Did ANYONE at home say "Damn, the relationship between Leia and Han Solo is so happy and fun! I sure hope they GET A DIVORCE IN THE SEQUEL".
NO. NOBODY WANTED THAT. I know it's not always "realistic", because yeah, sometimes happy couples break apart, but this is a FANTASY movie where Indiana Jones found THE HOLY GRAIL. Like shit man, just let the man be happy. I know in like the last 2-3 films he's had some circulating love interests but he got MARRIED. LET HIM BE MARRIED. We DON'T need him to have ANOTHER love interest or any of that. Just let him be happy, let him have his wife, let him have his son, and if the torch needs to be passed JUST PASS IT. One more adventure, one more to open the door for a new Indie, and just LET. INDIANA. BE. HAPPY.
Oh dear god I am just at minute 12 of this video, where the hell else is this going to go, holy shit.
edit: 21:00 he gets it. He understands.
What's worse is Han and Leia went through the SAME thing in Legacy Of The Force with their first son Jacen Solo falling to the dark side and becoming Darth Cadeus but they still stayed together and were happily married.
I remember saying that I had faith in the director of this movie James Mangold I think because he directed Logan one of my favorite movies ever. Well that aged like milk fast, very disgusting and sour milk