Hi. I'm the wife of a man with OCPD. We've been together 25 yrs and have been through thick and thin. Love your helpful tips and to hear of your feelings and experiences. While listening to you I was spurred to share 2 things that we have found were crucial to my husband accepting his diagnosis and that helps him to stop when he is succumbing to his mental illness. The first thing is, I have always done this and taught him to do this - to separate his OCPD person from the nice person he really is deep inside. We've even named his OCPD person a different name and when he's behaving badly I actually call him by that name. The fact that he can view his OCPD separately from himself and the fact that he knows I do has been a key in his ability to control it. And the second and most important tip, as you have said, is love. He has overcome a lot of his controlling quirks that have hurt and burdened me because he loves me and he knows I love him to the moon and back. Just wanted to share them with you. We've found them essential in controlling the raging monster from within.
Lisa that is beautiful and I thank you sincerely for sharing. I know that many of the people coming to my videos are equally interested in the comments left by others. And your comment offers so much hope. I will take note of your tips and I will introduce them as suggestions in future content. What wonderful advice and thank you for watching.
OCPD and other mental illnesses/disorders are in my life. Do you know what an angel you are? You're delivering a message of hope to all partners in these relations. I truly appreciate this, and want you to continue.
Marie Monaco you are too kind for saying so. The channel has been in a bit of a hibernation phase. But today I finish writing three new episodes and I hope to have them out in the next week and a half.
This is great! I still need to work through some of the older videos, but I liked these short answers. I remember when I tried searching online for help with OCPD it was just a lot of forums of relatives of people who had it. I guess because it's egosyntonic and not as often recognized as a problem by the individual themselves. Just wanted to thank you for such an informative channel that consistently deals with this disorder. I was ready to give up before I found it, because the forums made it seem like an intractable nearly sociopathic thing. Thanks again!
Gerf Skoorb I'm glad you liked the shorter format with the questions. I may from time to time just address a one off subscriber question in a short video in the community tab. It would be easier to produce and give people some quick content to digest. It's hard to find the help in those forums. Not only are there not many people in there that actually have OCPD, but it can be brutal to hear the opinions of those that don't have it. Thanks for taking the time to leave another comment. Gives me motivation to keep going when I know people are enjoying what I'm doing. You're welcome as well!
Gerg Skoorb I agree about the forums and discouraging information out there. Yesterday I came across a horrible comment a woman left about a sexual relationship she had with someone she claimed had OCPD and he was criminal and abusive. It wasn’t OCPD I heard her describing in the comment. It was sociopathic behavior. It upsets me to see things like that because it just isn’t right to say all people with OCPD are the same and are horrible and can’t change. I almost gave up to because of this type of information. It’s depressing and it’s just irritating.
@@chlinkink7433 I know, I know. But we know who we are and I'm doing my best to get the message out there that we are not the stereotype that is being perpetrated without our permission. I steer away from the abusive stuff and stick to the facts.
OCPD: My Life In Debris I’m very grateful for your channel and videos. They’re really is helpful in a myriad of ways. That would be a great topic for a video, Darryl. Dispelling myths. I’m sure it could be challenging video to make but it would be great.
@@chlinkink7433 Yeah that's why I didn't dive too deep in them, it was kinda rough. One of them I saw was from a woman who was kind of on a crusade, posting things like: "Never marry someone like this, it'll ruin your life!" I guess I was expecting something for like Alcoholics Anonymous where it's not about complaining as much as it is working to improve. They actually do have 12 step groups for OCD, because the compulsivity is like a mirror image of later stage addiction. So I was trying to find that for OCPD. Glad I found this channel, it's a great place to figure some of this out.
I just want to say that I love how you approached your channel. Starting at rock bottom was so relatable. Watching you get better and more comfortable without going for perfection is awesome. I have a hope that you are enjoying this more and more although I would have a hard time LOL
capoeiristachik1 I wish I could say that it was that well planned out, but I definitely appreciate the fact that it just sort of happened that way. And I'm glad that I continue to want to push forward and bring more positivity to the channel. Thank you again for watching and leaving so many great comments.
@@OCPD_support I have so much gratitude and am enjoying supporting you so it’s my pleasure :] haven’t gone much on Instagram but just started following your account there too. Hope we can all grow together.
Thank you so much for bringing OCPD to the public. I have suffered and now have adjusted to this personally trait that is part of who I am. It is a daily struggle but also a gift sometimes. Combining that with being a gifted person is difficult. I know that there are others out there that are identified as gifted with this condition. Please share.
Michael Stephens thank you so much for your comment. My personal belief is that for those of us that are comfortable sharing our situations, it helps others to hear about them. Although your situation is unique to yourself, I'm sure there are others out there with a similar set of circumstances that can relate to you.
Rewatched your videos to get a grasp of OCPD since I was recently diagnosed with it. It's a conflict within me as to when am I at fault and when is my disorder affecting my life, since it cannot be purely either.
Aashish Makhija thanks for rewatching. I think that the first thing that may help is to stop thinking in of things in the way of "faults". I struggled with this for a long time. And looking for someone to blame (others, ourselves or outside forces), is a natural thought process for someone with OCPD. But it is not the path to healing.
@@OCPD_support I really thank you for your reply as well as taking the initiative of this channel, I go through your videos whenever I feel the need of a support. If there's any way I could contribute in this channel, do let me know
@@saurav3047 thank you very much for the offer. In the coming months I will be launching The OCPD Foundation. Feel free to take a look once that is up. If there is anywhere you'd like to help, please just reach out to me. As for the channel, the only thing I'm not currently doing that I would love to do is to offer closed captions in more languages. So again, if you were interested in translating any of the videos into another language, that would be greatly appreciated. But honestly, don't feel obliged. I'm just grateful for you watching my content. Thank you!
I really appreciate your efforts, great video! I've been to many professionals and my diagnosis is still somewhat unclear. Recently I read some articles about a subtype of OCD called Relationship OCD and I felt like it was something closer to OCPD than OCD; I'll explain: A person with ROCD has intrusive doubts regarding their affection towards their partner, they start asking themselves "do I love her/him enough?" "is this feeling really love?" "Am I loving on the correct intensity/way?" The compulsion is usually recollecting memories to compare the old feelings vs the current feelings, seeking reassurance from the partner and searching the web on what it feels to love and etc. This behaviour reminds me of OCPD especially because of the deep logical relation between obsession and compulsion. The compulsion here has a practical purpose yet it is still OCD and nota OCPD. I believe that my problem is very similar to ROCD, however instead of having only relationship related doubts I have these doubts attacking every single thing that I previously find pleasurable, such as hobbies. It could be caused by OCPD's perfectionism, but there may also be an OCD factor at play which keeps this cycle of torment going in the fashion it does. What are your thoughts?
Flavio Menezes that's very interesting information. They do seem like intrusive thoughts falling into some grey area in between OCPD and OCD. There is an element of irrationality, but the thoughts also follow some odd type of logic. I actually believe I've experienced these thoughts as well in the past, so I do understand what you are referring to. I think they lean more towards OCPD, but that's just an opinion. What matters really in the end though are the treatment options and their effectiveness. As long as the professional treating you is confident in the therapy they're prescribing, the actual diagnosis seems secondary in importance. Thanks for sharing this information with me.
This reminds me of the day I had my middle son, we where alone and I was breastfeeding him, looking at this beautiful little creature, toes curling as I was in so much pain, no one warned me after pains where a thing or struck during feeding, as I was trying get through this first real feed, my mind went to a dark place, and I thought will I love him as much as his big brother, as he fell asleep feeding his beautiful wee head tilted back and I burst into tears, of course I loved him, I was being so stupid. And I still do.
i really like that metal animated logo you did there... excellent. I really would like to be able to do that too. I'm working on finding out how. My OCPD saturated life starts finding traction... mindful blessings and meditation thingys
ven rakkhita I find creative outlets to be one of the few things that can calm my mind to the point where it isn't racing with 100 different thoughts all at the same time. I believe in the idea of flow states and I feel privileged when I can find the time to enter a creative space.
This was well done. I appreciated the pace. I will tell you that I tend to get tense when I watch your videos. I think it’s because it hits home and I do this in therapy too. I suppose I feel vulnerable and it isn’t comfortable. I wonder if others feel this way? Probably. Just may not mention it. The communication issue you shared about shutting down after going through multiple ways of communicating it is something I relate too. It’s just so hard to find a way to say something to someone at times and it not explode into an argument. I’m currently struggling with this. I’m pretty angry about something someone close to me did and I feel I can’t communicate about it in a constructive way. I loathe dishonesty and I’m absolutely certain I have been lied to. It’s a big deal to me. This person claims to be very honest. But this is truly not the first time this has happened. I feel so offended and so angry and hurt about it. I feel like I’m going to get the usual BS I’ve been given in the past and I’m not falling for it again. So, we aren’t on speaking terms. I didn’t mean to say so much about this. It’s a true frustration. I don’t have time or energy to put into trying to have a conversation about this. I’m working hard and absolutely swamped with the many things of life (and my rituals 🙄). I’ve had a lot of therapy. I’ve learned a lot about communication, getting in touch with my feelings because I am more logical. Sometimes maybe it’s not me or my symptoms. Maybe I This specific situation it is just me seeing this person for who they are. I’m pretty naive. I get blindsided easily which is annoying and causes me to also be paranoid and I have such trust issues. I don’t know where I’m going with this. I guess my original point is that I relate to what you said. I feel so ambivalent about posting this comment. It’s fine to do so. Im in no danger.
Chlink Ink I'm glad you liked the pace. Sorry that it made you tense though. Anything you think I should be doing to make them more palatable? Sorry that you were lied to recently. This too is something I've experienced many times. I think I've just come to expect it. But it is extra difficult when the person claims the moral high ground of being an honest person or if they are close to you. I'm always happy to read your comments and I'm very grateful that you always choose to leave them. Remember I'm always happy to answer your questions here or in the videos. I hope you're having a good day!
OCPD: My Life In Debris The tension has nothing to do with your videos but just the material. I don’t know why but I’ve always struggled with therapy (I have a great therapist) and almost anything that is about this diagnosis. I sometimes get defensive or I get tense. I really don’t think it’s anything to do with anything you’re doing. I do believe it is just my own issues of feeling weak and wrong as I am looking at myself. I can’t get past feeling it is such a flaw It’s just anything OCPD related. I get past it and continue in therapy or watching your videos or reading articles by reminding myself that I benefit from it. That’s something I’ve worked at for a long time and have to work at. Your video had a great pace. Sometimes there’s so much information in a video and it moves a bit fast that it’s a bit overwhelming. I always like them but I do think it could be hard for some people. Thanks for sharing about your experience with being lied to also. I am tired of dishonesty but it almost feels like it is normal that people will be dishonest. I struggle with that as I value honesty so much.
Being lied to is the worst. recently I have had something happen, too...not quite a lie but plans made and I was hopeful and expectant and then the plans just...disintegrated, without any consideration of me at all. Like, being told one thing and then something completely different happened and I had no control over any of the situation. Ugh. Hard to explain. I hope therapy helps, it sounds like you are working really hard at it. Best wishes.
Larissa Elf Well, that’s frustrating but certainly forgivable. Things happen. I’ve done things like that before and felt really bad. Sometimes there is a good reason plans change and it all falls apart. The important question is whether you got an apology and/or an explanation. If so, then it’s forgivable. If not, it sounds as if the person is very disorganized. Why would you take it so personally? It sounds like they have a problem. At least that’s how I interpret it. There’s other friends to hang out with.
Chlink Ink Thank you for your kind and thoughtful reply. I am sort of going through a transition and it’s kind of the first time I tried to...well, put myself out there to make friends, for a long time. I am pretty naive and trust way too easily and I’ll be honest, I felt really hurt. Yes, lol, I take things personally, in my personal life. In my job I have an extremely thick skin. I need a ‘personal’ thick skin, like dinosaur skin, as well 🙂
BlackMagnolia I think for certain people living with OCPD that might be true. But alexithymia alone is not a personality requirement for the diagnosis of obsessive compulsive personality disorder.
That was great. Wow. I really appreciated the answers you gave. I do think taking taking risks has something to do with fear of failure. But, you DO take risks, I think...with this channel, with (you allude to this hobby) riding motorcycles. LOL. It is dangerous, no? And, I appreciate what you said, especially about relationships, early on in the video. Gosh. Being patient, being gentle and loving. I almost started to cry. I just, yeah. I have come to the conclusion that there is nothing more I COULD do, nothing more I can show to express the authenticity of my caring. Just staying there. Being a constant. I don't know. Very good video that I am going to watch again. These are preliminary thoughts that are not organized and entirely coherent, but so be it. Thank you for this.
Larissa Elf I guess you caught me, haha. Maybe I'm taking a lot of risks without acknowledging them. Thank you as usual for such well thought out feedback on my content. I think it was nice to just react to the questions, but almost every question deserves its own well thought out video.
Thank you for this video, it´s really helpful. The answer to this question might be obvious, but I wonder if worrying about ones own personality is something people with OCPD do, because this has been a big problem for me and I haven´t been able to find anything about it on the internet.
No2 Koningin - En Vera Cox would this be before or after coming to terms with the idea of having OCPD? Most definitely it is a major struggle and obstacle to healing to know that your personality isn't really your personality. Or at least you can't be sure if it is. If you mean before knowing about OCPD, the answer would be yes as well. It's unlikely that someone would discover OCPD unless they were struggling with understanding why their personality is the way it is. Thanks for your question. Let me know if you need any more clarity.
@@OCPD_support Thank you for your reaction! I actually meant both. I actually worry about everything unless I see it´s perfect, and since nothing can be perfect, I´m able to worry about everything. I think I worry so much about my personality, also beyond the terms of OCPD, because I have a very clear idea about who I´m supposed to be. That person is different from me. And I think because of my OCPD, I´m perfectionistic and I try to be the way I´m ´supposed to be´. And yes, it was also difficult to learn that my personality is mostly impacted by this disorder. In a few weeks or months I´m starting to go to psychotherapy, and I´m really afraid of who I will be when I´m ´recovered´ (although I believe you can never fully recover from a personality disorder). Will my opinions change, how will I behave, will I still be the person my friends and family know?
@@no2koningin-enveracox621 I've experience every single last point you bring up in your comment. Those are normal responses to finding out you have a personality disorder. At first it's overwhelming thinking that none of what you believe in and none of what you think may actually be your own thoughts. But it turns out that they mostly are. This is just for example purposes: Say you were raised in a religious household and you embraced the faith. As you become older you start to question the faith and look deeper into it. After a while you're comfortable with the knowledge you've gained and you are an even firmer believer in your faith. And let's take the opposite. Let's say you were raised in a religious household but you rebel against it. As you get older you become more convinced you're right based off of life experiences. In both situations your family helped shape who you became. Yet the possibility exists for two completely different outcomes. This is much the same with a personality disorder. The disorder may have shaped some of your thoughts and your beliefs, but you've also taken the time to think about what you believe and those thoughts have shaped your personality. Reducing the effects of the disorder are not going to completely undermine who you are as a person. Just like moving away from your family isn't going to change your belief in religion over night. These types of things are a slow process. And if you're a compassionate person before you get help, you'll be a compassionate person after you get help. If you're logical, you'll remain logical. You'll just be much more aware of your thought processes and you'll be better able to identify which ones are healthy and which are maladaptive.
There is information surfacing that OCPD is more prevalent among Autistics, I personally have both, my medical file is pretty much the autism comorbid list on Wikipedia. More research needs to be done. Thank you for this, it has been very interesting and informative.
Simi Katra well I'm hoping that maybe I'll be able to start a foundation at some point in the future to fund more of the research that needs to be done. In the meantime I will keep working on building out the website and making videos.
I was diagnosed with OCD in 2012/2013. Though I don't exactly have the compulsion or maybe I just have it uuder control idk. But, I am starting to think I really have OCPD and maybe even OCD symptoms appear when I am highly stressed. Well I dropped out of 6 courses since 2016 because in fear of not doing the assignment perfectly (like grammar is not perfect, punctuation is not perfect, etc.) I need to get back into therapy for this perfection issue. Though my only consistent issue is unclean house = suicidal ideation for me
iz L thanks for the comment. I would say that an unclean house leading to suicidal ideation is a serious situation that requires some immediate attention. I'm not sure if what you are experiencing is OCPD, but it bares some similarities and is absolutely worth bringing up to a mental health professional.
Most of my issues result from misinterpretations & mis-characterizations of one thing I say which causes a diversion from the central message or theme of the dialogue I’m trying to engage in. If someone you know has OCPD, they’ve carefully thought out approaches with rumination out of a fear of failure (loss of message, use a word which carries multiple meanings, etc.) or embarrassment (engaging in a dialogue I find difficult to get out of, be it morality, lack of humility, or disregard for acknowledging why I feel a certain way). Over the course of my life I noticed my tendency to beat a dead horse when lead into those rabbit holes. If someone you know has OCPD & they’re trying to get a point across, take them at face value they are trying their best to avoid negative confrontation in favor of a peaceful resolution. Especially if it’s about their feelings. People tend to get intimidated by me because I do carry a presence based on how I was raised to not say anything without having facts to back it up. As it’s been engrained in me (I attribute it to my Greek heritage), it’s a core sense of my being, just as I see your ability and willingness to be proactive rather than provide lip service. I’m blessed to be Puerto Rican with an innate sense of self-awareness & clairvoyance which I attribute to my abuela’s Taíno father who was a bohike (a tribal shaman, or revered griot). I’ve always been in tune with my emotions, incredibly empathic with a strong connection to nature (hiking has helped my happiness, allows me to meditate & gets endorphins running). I cannot stress the issues I have is the persistent misreading of my intentions & the perception I am too “put together” to have a debilitating personality disorder. I spend hours procrastinating by doing research on something else I find interesting. I also am a notorious list maker. I’ve been writing a novel for years because I focus on making the plot as consistent as possible. I also have a strange obsession with sequences, anything that can be listed and memorized (I knew the states & capitals, as well as all the presidents by the time I was in kindergarten), graphs/charts/statistics, alphabets (I like to believe it due to my constant need of the encyclopedia in debates with family), though I can read almost anything outside of East Asian languages. While they all provide societal benefits, they can be debilitating & frustrating, as they provide a convenient distraction from my overall goals or objectives. This distraction I have is rooted in the fear of failure. I often convince myself I’m not good enough or if I make a mistake it’s going to take a lot more effort to correct (i.e. when knitting, if I notice I skipped a stitch in my pattern two or more rows below, I will unravel it to that point & likely get frustrated enough to put it down a week or so, which by that time I’m already on to a new project). Many unfinished projects.
G A Aspros Figueroa I thanked you for your last comment as it offered a little insight into the mind of someone with OCPD. This comment however peels back many layers and offers others a chance to see deep into the experiences of someone living with OCPD. I don't want to respond with too much as you don't ask any questions and you seem very self aware. I know the inner turmoil that can come from stepping down in a disagreement when we 'feel strongly that we are right. But I've found remaining stoic or walking away, to be the most beneficial thing I can do to stop making bad impressions everywhere I go. The average person has very little interest in the truth, or your truth. People are much more concerned with reaffirming their own set of beliefs. The less we challenge those beliefs, the more congenial we will become. That is not to say it is never prudent to challenge someone or a set of beliefs, but if we pick and choose where and when, we might develop better interpersonal relationships over the long term.
I have another question (you might not even see this because this video was published a long time ago, but I´ll still ask it): people say that you can be ´abusive´ when you have this disorder, and I think I might not always be very nice either because of my OCPD. My question is: how does one´s OCPD negatively affect others and in what ways can someone be ´abusive´ due to OCPD? By the way, I think it´s really brave that you made this video. I can imagine some things might have been hard to say.
No2 Koningin - En Vera Cox thanks for another interesting question. There are many ways that someone with OCPD could become abusive. On the extreme (and more rare end), someone might be physically abusive or constantly respond with anger and yelling. So far, anecdotally, that doesn't seem to be the norm. More normal forms of abuse might be the silent treatment, gaslighting, being controlling, being brutally honest or blunt and being argumentative for starters. It's also possible to not be abusive at all. That seems to be rare as well and that one usually comes down to how someone defines 'abuse'. And how the abuse manifests is usually determined by each specific relationship (i.e. parent/child, spouses, employer/employee).
I was diagnosed with OCPD 5 months ago. FINALLY!! I thought I was just driven by a motor and my mind couldn't shut off. I couldn't stop talking about things that bothered me. Clean clean clean. Needless to say my 2nd husband is leaving me. Both became physically abusive towards me. Both called me insane, crazy, etc. I feel I drive people to do things they wouldn't necessarily do otherwise. I wonder if this is common?
Oh, I can write a great deal about 'how OCPD negatively affects others'. I was recently in a situation where, for reasons too complicated to go into here, I ended up sharing living quarters with someone who - unbeknownst to me - had this disorder. He was heavily medicated, but he still showed symptoms. From time to time, he would let out these godawful screams that were absolutely horrifying to listen to from the other room. It wasn't the type of verbal ouburst a normal person would make if they, say, stubbed their toe or missed a bus. These were from a truly tormented soul. Basically, life in this house was a horror movie. Even today, whenever I think of that place, the strongest image that comes to mind is the Overlook Hotel from "The Shining". I guess this may be simply be 'unloading' on my part as much as 'sharing my story', but hopefully the people who are most concerned with this disorder - because they have it, or are treating others with it, or have a loved one with it - can gain something from this post.
I definitely need help with expressing emotion and dealing with other's emotions. My wedding is coming up and I'm half dreading it because of the amount of people I know are going to be extremely emotional, crying and the like. I hate when others are crying. Yet I want to be comfortable around them. I want emotions to feel a little less gross
@@OCPD_support Yeah I'm doing both personal and premarital counseling. Actually, we figured out that I have some form of OCD in premarital, and my personal counselor said subclinical OCPD. So I'm still in the early stages of figuring out what I can change about my personality to stress less and manage relationships better. I'm currently stuck in quarantine and my fiance is helping me push my limits by playing games that I'm not good at, and forcing myself to deal with making bad moves and losing under my own power. In therapy though, we're working on physical contact as I tend to be repulsed by touching most people, even if I want to touch them. (Handshakes, hugs, having to touch because sitting close together, ect) Hopefully we'll get to managing other people's emotions before the wedding
@@kyratompsett4409 well there isn't anything that isn't changeable. But it's a matter of time and the amount of hard work you're wiling to put in. The tricky thing is that it's possible to find hacks that will alleviate tension and issues in the short term, but if you want to make lasting changes, the only way is to put the work in. But I think if you're determined, you'll be able to subdue the symptoms that you're concerned about in regards to the wedding. Please feel free to leave any questions you have here though. Wishing you all the best on your big day!
C M you do not need to meet all of the requirements in order to meet the diagnostic criteria. There is a self test on OCPD.org if you'd like to take a preliminary test before seeking out a mental health professional.
Of course questions brought up more questions in me. Do you think as someone with ocpd that you need to see someone that understands it for it to truly help. My current therapist doesn't specialize in it and has the focus on a general solution not the diagnosis thing but sometimes I feel like me describing ocpd related symptoms doesn't hit as well as it should? I know that question is a mess but I don't know how else to convey it so hopefully it made enough sense
Kayla Allen I completely understand what you are trying to ask, so there are no worries there. All I can offer is my opinion based on research and anecdotal evidence, so please keep that in mind. My opinion is that you can be helped in a significant way by a licensed professional, even if they do not have the most experience in your particular diagnosis. I believe that a professional with specific experience or a greater knowledge of OCPD would be even more helpful in the long term, but that doesn't negate the usefulness of a therapist that is good at what they do. Another important factor is just whether or not they are a good fit personality-wise. For me, just talking out loud about the things I suffer with, without any judgement or repercussions, is very therapeutic. Then couple that with some effective CBT therapy or some of the other forms of therapy available and I think that a person can make tremendous progress over time. If someone is available to you that is a better fit or has more experience, I would absolutely consider trying them out. But if you do not have that available, do not dismiss the potential help that seeing any qualified professional might bring you. Thanks for your comment and please let me know if you need me to clarify my answer. I'm about to run out the door and I wanted to make sure I didn't have to wait until Monday to give you an answer.
Why ocpd people are so much interested about the person who doesn’t really value them and they ignore that who is really important for her. Have anyone experience this feelings?
Satarupa Sark I'm not sure if that is an OCPD trait or not. I haven't experienced being interested in someone that is not interested in me. But I have probably not valued certain relationships as much as I should have in the past. It's something to work on for sure.
I do experience this feeling. I try to value the ones who value me, but it´s sometimes hard and I tend to be more interested in people who don´t know me or don´t value me indeed. I was diagnosed with OCPD a few days ago.
Fatima Amiri I would love to give some advice on how he can improve his life with OCPD and how the future is still very much in his control. But I am not a mental health professional and that is what he needs right now if he is serious. Please reach out to the link I post in the next comment. I'm happy to chat with him, but I think that time is of the essence and you should talk to a professional quickly.
I appreciate your kindness so much. .he has been taking medicine for a while but he says it doesnt have any effect on him and he is so perfectionist about this subject that he says i will die or just completely cured.
@@fatimaamiri7793 sadly he's so depressed he isn't seeing clearly. Nobody in this world is completely 100% free from mental anguish or a mental disorder or is 100% mentally healthy. Some are much closer than others, but we all have our own struggles. A complete cure is unrealistic. But myself and others have probably gotten to around 80 - 90%. And our lives are fulfilling and joyous at times. It's a tremendous amount of hard work, but for many of us with OCPD we are built for hard work. All that said, I'll get to my main point: there are no medications for OCPD. Not a single one. So whatever he's taking isn't for what he thinks it's for. There are medications to treat depression and anxiety that can result from having OCPD. Those medications work sometimes and don't work sometimes. And sometimes there's very few side-effects and other times there are overwhelming side-effects. He needs therapy as soon as possible. He isn't going to start to see reality for what it really is until he gets counseling or therapy. I hope you can talk him into seeing someone or maybe someone else in his life can. But there's a lot of hope for him and he needs to put the suicidal thoughts out of his head. My thoughts are with your during this hard time.
@@OCPD_support it is possible indeed! I'm glad I got a reminder during my mental exam a few weeks ago because I had given up and totally shut down after moving in with my boyfriend and his grandfather. If I couldnt do things my way and have my enviroment up to my standards i just went into total depression and stopped functioning at all. OCpd is not that bad as long as you manage it without letting it manage you or try to impose it on others. I was actually more productive before and I see a need to allow myself to be myself again. Especially w a kid on the way any day, I've got to get back to being functional and not just completely shut down and avoiding life 24/7. I was sick of making everyone around me uncomfortable but there has got to be a middle ground where I can still have personal standards and adhere to routines that assist me in accomplishing the tasks of daily living. I am a complete mess and I am disappointed in myself for giving up. Gotta turn myself around now.
You very easily dismiss the relation between OCPD and ASD (which now includes Asperger) but there is a hugh overlap. The lack of correlation could be because of lack in research. I used to think I don't have ASD because I'm very social, but apparently, women with ASD do "pass" as social (There are many RUclips vlogs about it too). When I asked my Psychiatrist if I might have OCPD/ASD comorbidities, he claimed that diagnosis isn't the point, but treatment. Neurologicaly OCPD, OCD, ASD and ADHD occur when the frontal lobe can't prossess information efficiently. In the end, we all need to go through treatment for anxiety and individual therapy that addresses our individual thought prossess. The diagnosis is just a tool to find the right solution, but a brain scan of OCPD brain vs ASD brain might look the same.
Zipkik Too thanks for your comment. I of course welcome opposing points of view. It's great for both of us as we get to practice seeing another person's perspective, and that's good therapy for OCPD. I'll start with where we agree. I'm in the same camp as your psychiatrist. I think it's easy for anyone to get hung up on a diagnosis, and even more so for those with OCPD. The treatment and its effectiveness should take the highest priority. And as you said, in the end ew all need to go through treatment for anxiety and treatment for our maladaptive thought processes. As far as where we disagree, I'll start with the fact that I probably misrepresent myself a bit in the video with how quickly I dismiss any relation between ASD and OCPD. I don't delve into it deeper as it's a challenge to get people to watch these videos all the way through. I want them to be educational, but also interesting enough that viewers make it all the way to the end. So it's always a conundrum as to how much to include. Having said that, although I seem to easily dismiss the relation between the two, in real life I have spent a considerable amount of time looking into the overlap. Many people have sent me persuasive information as well to read. So it is after having completed a lot of research that I have come to my decision. And please remember, my decision is really only my opinion, although I am basing it on the DSM, the research available and the mental health professionals I've discussed this with. Correlation does not equal causation, and so for the time being I remain unconvinced. Science will tell us in due time which one of us is correct. In the meantime I hope that both of us are receiving the best possible help and are experiencing as much joy in life as possible.
@@OCPD_support Thanks for the thoughtful and considerate reply! I definitely misinterpreted your answers in the end of the video. If you do have more to say about the topic, I think it would make a great video. (You already have many about the difference with OCD). I think my problem is mostly with the current definitions of the disorders. While people with OCPD will not necessarily struggle with ASD symptoms, many people with Asperger's do struggle with obsession with rules, black and white thinking, perfectionism etc. Which are overlooked by the DSM's symptoms for ASD. It's not like there's a clear answer for what is ASD or OCPD that science can discover. I think it's more of a theoretical demarcation that gives scientists the framework to understand human behaviour. I only hope that by the next DSM, we will have better ways to group symptoms together. In any way, I'm glad to be grouped with you!
@@zipkiktoo7023 thank you for taking my comment in the nature in which is was intended. I agree with everything you just wrote. It seems as though you've put tremendous thought into this. I think for sure there is also some strong comorbidity between ASD and OCPD. I see that quite frequently. I'm working on building an OCPD reference website. Right now it is mostly just the videos being posted there while I work on things behind the scenes. But once it is fully up and running I will write some more in depth articles and share information that connects the two. I'm also happy to try and cover it in a future video. If you come across any information you'd like to share you can message me at the social accounts I link to in the description of my videos.
Sara Nox the short answer is no. But the hopeful answer is that with therapy and a lot of work, it's completely possible to rid your life of the symptoms and thoughts that might be making life hard, complicated or insufferable if you have OCPD.
Sara Nox just to clarify, I'm not saying that there isn't a fix. There is. It's just that a personality disorder is something that you can't "cure" so to speak.
OCPD: My Life In Debris I identify with concientious (keeping me from being productive) and parsimonious (extremely stingy) I am optimistic I can get a handle on my symptoms, however I can clearly identify my brother as symptoms of bureaucratic, parsimonious (extreme hoarding, schizoid feautures), puritanical (he is very paranoid strict, close minded and dominant) and bedevilled (became passive aggressive towards me and isolating himself) (the emphatic without a clear idea how to express it, manifested in him stroking our grandparents while they were sleeping) I‘m very passionate about what makes people tick and I couldn‘t pinnpoint his behaviors until now. I was only able to identify f.e. narcissistic, schitzoid and paranoid features. Others have suggested he has psychosis but they aren’t educated enough. I found through researching my own struggles with stingyness this diagnosis which his weird behaviors finally make total sense to me. Understanding human behavior is my passion and I am relieved he isn‘t psychotic, also I am not surprised since it didn’t quiet fit.
@@saranox7319 I'm very happy to hear your research turned up information that gave you a little peace of mind in regards your brother. If you have any specific questions you're more than welcome to ask.
Please check the description for the timestamp of each question. Thanks for watching!
Hi. I'm the wife of a man with OCPD. We've been together 25 yrs and have been through thick and thin. Love your helpful tips and to hear of your feelings and experiences. While listening to you I was spurred to share 2 things that we have found were crucial to my husband accepting his diagnosis and that helps him to stop when he is succumbing to his mental illness. The first thing is, I have always done this and taught him to do this - to separate his OCPD person from the nice person he really is deep inside. We've even named his OCPD person a different name and when he's behaving badly I actually call him by that name. The fact that he can view his OCPD separately from himself and the fact that he knows I do has been a key in his ability to control it. And the second and most important tip, as you have said, is love. He has overcome a lot of his controlling quirks that have hurt and burdened me because he loves me and he knows I love him to the moon and back. Just wanted to share them with you. We've found them essential in controlling the raging monster from within.
Lisa that is beautiful and I thank you sincerely for sharing. I know that many of the people coming to my videos are equally interested in the comments left by others. And your comment offers so much hope. I will take note of your tips and I will introduce them as suggestions in future content. What wonderful advice and thank you for watching.
OCPD and other mental illnesses/disorders are in my life. Do you know what an angel you are? You're delivering a message of hope to all partners in these relations. I truly appreciate this, and want you to continue.
Marie Monaco you are too kind for saying so. The channel has been in a bit of a hibernation phase. But today I finish writing three new episodes and I hope to have them out in the next week and a half.
This is great! I still need to work through some of the older videos, but I liked these short answers. I remember when I tried searching online for help with OCPD it was just a lot of forums of relatives of people who had it. I guess because it's egosyntonic and not as often recognized as a problem by the individual themselves. Just wanted to thank you for such an informative channel that consistently deals with this disorder. I was ready to give up before I found it, because the forums made it seem like an intractable nearly sociopathic thing. Thanks again!
Gerf Skoorb I'm glad you liked the shorter format with the questions. I may from time to time just address a one off subscriber question in a short video in the community tab. It would be easier to produce and give people some quick content to digest. It's hard to find the help in those forums. Not only are there not many people in there that actually have OCPD, but it can be brutal to hear the opinions of those that don't have it. Thanks for taking the time to leave another comment. Gives me motivation to keep going when I know people are enjoying what I'm doing. You're welcome as well!
Gerg Skoorb I agree about the forums and discouraging information out there. Yesterday I came across a horrible comment a woman left about a sexual relationship she had with someone she claimed had OCPD and he was criminal and abusive. It wasn’t OCPD I heard her describing in the comment. It was sociopathic behavior. It upsets me to see things like that because it just isn’t right to say all people with OCPD are the same and are horrible and can’t change. I almost gave up to because of this type of information. It’s depressing and it’s just irritating.
@@chlinkink7433 I know, I know. But we know who we are and I'm doing my best to get the message out there that we are not the stereotype that is being perpetrated without our permission. I steer away from the abusive stuff and stick to the facts.
OCPD: My Life In Debris I’m very grateful for your channel and videos. They’re really is helpful in a myriad of ways. That would be a great topic for a video, Darryl. Dispelling myths. I’m sure it could be challenging video to make but it would be great.
@@chlinkink7433 Yeah that's why I didn't dive too deep in them, it was kinda rough. One of them I saw was from a woman who was kind of on a crusade, posting things like: "Never marry someone like this, it'll ruin your life!" I guess I was expecting something for like Alcoholics Anonymous where it's not about complaining as much as it is working to improve. They actually do have 12 step groups for OCD, because the compulsivity is like a mirror image of later stage addiction. So I was trying to find that for OCPD. Glad I found this channel, it's a great place to figure some of this out.
I just want to say that I love how you approached your channel. Starting at rock bottom was so relatable. Watching you get better and more comfortable without going for perfection is awesome. I have a hope that you are enjoying this more and more although I would have a hard time LOL
capoeiristachik1 I wish I could say that it was that well planned out, but I definitely appreciate the fact that it just sort of happened that way. And I'm glad that I continue to want to push forward and bring more positivity to the channel. Thank you again for watching and leaving so many great comments.
@@OCPD_support I have so much gratitude and am enjoying supporting you so it’s my pleasure :] haven’t gone much on Instagram but just started following your account there too. Hope we can all grow together.
@@capoeiristachik1 I'm sure we will :)
Thank you so much for bringing OCPD to the public. I have suffered and now have adjusted to this personally trait that is part of who I am. It is a daily struggle but also a gift sometimes. Combining that with being a gifted person is difficult. I know that there are others out there that are identified as gifted with this condition. Please share.
Michael Stephens thank you so much for your comment. My personal belief is that for those of us that are comfortable sharing our situations, it helps others to hear about them. Although your situation is unique to yourself, I'm sure there are others out there with a similar set of circumstances that can relate to you.
Rewatched your videos to get a grasp of OCPD since I was recently diagnosed with it. It's a conflict within me as to when am I at fault and when is my disorder affecting my life, since it cannot be purely either.
Aashish Makhija thanks for rewatching. I think that the first thing that may help is to stop thinking in of things in the way of "faults". I struggled with this for a long time. And looking for someone to blame (others, ourselves or outside forces), is a natural thought process for someone with OCPD. But it is not the path to healing.
@@OCPD_support I really thank you for your reply as well as taking the initiative of this channel, I go through your videos whenever I feel the need of a support. If there's any way I could contribute in this channel, do let me know
@@saurav3047 thank you very much for the offer. In the coming months I will be launching The OCPD Foundation. Feel free to take a look once that is up. If there is anywhere you'd like to help, please just reach out to me.
As for the channel, the only thing I'm not currently doing that I would love to do is to offer closed captions in more languages. So again, if you were interested in translating any of the videos into another language, that would be greatly appreciated.
But honestly, don't feel obliged. I'm just grateful for you watching my content. Thank you!
I really appreciate your efforts, great video! I've been to many professionals and my diagnosis is still somewhat unclear. Recently I read some articles about a subtype of OCD called Relationship OCD and I felt like it was something closer to OCPD than OCD; I'll explain: A person with ROCD has intrusive doubts regarding their affection towards their partner, they start asking themselves "do I love her/him enough?" "is this feeling really love?" "Am I loving on the correct intensity/way?" The compulsion is usually recollecting memories to compare the old feelings vs the current feelings, seeking reassurance from the partner and searching the web on what it feels to love and etc. This behaviour reminds me of OCPD especially because of the deep logical relation between obsession and compulsion. The compulsion here has a practical purpose yet it is still OCD and nota OCPD. I believe that my problem is very similar to ROCD, however instead of having only relationship related doubts I have these doubts attacking every single thing that I previously find pleasurable, such as hobbies. It could be caused by OCPD's perfectionism, but there may also be an OCD factor at play which keeps this cycle of torment going in the fashion it does. What are your thoughts?
Flavio Menezes that's very interesting information. They do seem like intrusive thoughts falling into some grey area in between OCPD and OCD. There is an element of irrationality, but the thoughts also follow some odd type of logic. I actually believe I've experienced these thoughts as well in the past, so I do understand what you are referring to. I think they lean more towards OCPD, but that's just an opinion. What matters really in the end though are the treatment options and their effectiveness. As long as the professional treating you is confident in the therapy they're prescribing, the actual diagnosis seems secondary in importance. Thanks for sharing this information with me.
This reminds me of the day I had my middle son, we where alone and I was breastfeeding him, looking at this beautiful little creature, toes curling as I was in so much pain, no one warned me after pains where a thing or struck during feeding, as I was trying get through this first real feed, my mind went to a dark place, and I thought will I love him as much as his big brother, as he fell asleep feeding his beautiful wee head tilted back and I burst into tears, of course I loved him, I was being so stupid. And I still do.
i really like that metal animated logo you did there... excellent. I really would like to be able to do that too. I'm working on finding out how. My OCPD saturated life starts finding traction... mindful blessings and meditation thingys
ven rakkhita I find creative outlets to be one of the few things that can calm my mind to the point where it isn't racing with 100 different thoughts all at the same time. I believe in the idea of flow states and I feel privileged when I can find the time to enter a creative space.
This was well done. I appreciated the pace. I will tell you that I tend to get tense when I watch your videos. I think it’s because it hits home and I do this in therapy too. I suppose I feel vulnerable and it isn’t comfortable. I wonder if others feel this way? Probably. Just may not mention it.
The communication issue you shared about shutting down after going through multiple ways of communicating it is something I relate too. It’s just so hard to find a way to say something to someone at times and it not explode into an argument. I’m currently struggling with this. I’m pretty angry about something someone close to me did and I feel I can’t communicate about it in a constructive way. I loathe dishonesty and I’m absolutely certain I have been lied to. It’s a big deal to me. This person claims to be very honest. But this is truly not the first time this has happened. I feel so offended and so angry and hurt about it. I feel like I’m going to get the usual BS I’ve been given in the past and I’m not falling for it again. So, we aren’t on speaking terms. I didn’t mean to say so much about this. It’s a true frustration.
I don’t have time or energy to put into trying to have a conversation about this. I’m working hard and absolutely swamped with the many things of life (and my rituals 🙄).
I’ve had a lot of therapy. I’ve learned a lot about communication, getting in touch with my feelings because I am more logical. Sometimes maybe it’s not me or my symptoms. Maybe I This specific situation it is just me seeing this person for who they are. I’m pretty naive. I get blindsided easily which is annoying and causes me to also be paranoid and I have such trust issues. I don’t know where I’m going with this. I guess my original point is that I relate to what you said.
I feel so ambivalent about posting this comment. It’s fine to do so. Im in no danger.
Chlink Ink I'm glad you liked the pace. Sorry that it made you tense though. Anything you think I should be doing to make them more palatable?
Sorry that you were lied to recently. This too is something I've experienced many times. I think I've just come to expect it. But it is extra difficult when the person claims the moral high ground of being an honest person or if they are close to you.
I'm always happy to read your comments and I'm very grateful that you always choose to leave them. Remember I'm always happy to answer your questions here or in the videos. I hope you're having a good day!
OCPD: My Life In Debris The tension has nothing to do with your videos but just the material. I don’t know why but I’ve always struggled with therapy (I have a great therapist) and almost anything that is about this diagnosis. I sometimes get defensive or I get tense. I really don’t think it’s anything to do with anything you’re doing. I do believe it is just my own issues of feeling weak and wrong as I am looking at myself. I can’t get past feeling it is such a flaw It’s just anything OCPD related. I get past it and continue in therapy or watching your videos or reading articles by reminding myself that I benefit from it. That’s something I’ve worked at for a long time and have to work at.
Your video had a great pace. Sometimes there’s so much information in a video and it moves a bit fast that it’s a bit overwhelming. I always like them but I do think it could be hard for some people.
Thanks for sharing about your experience with being lied to also. I am tired of dishonesty but it almost feels like it is normal that people will be dishonest. I struggle with that as I value honesty so much.
Being lied to is the worst. recently I have had something happen, too...not quite a lie but plans made and I was hopeful and expectant and then the plans just...disintegrated, without any consideration of me at all. Like, being told one thing and then something completely different happened and I had no control over any of the situation. Ugh. Hard to explain. I hope therapy helps, it sounds like you are working really hard at it. Best wishes.
Larissa Elf Well, that’s frustrating but certainly forgivable. Things happen. I’ve done things like that before and felt really bad. Sometimes there is a good reason plans change and it all falls apart. The important question is whether you got an apology and/or an explanation. If so, then it’s forgivable. If not, it sounds as if the person is very disorganized.
Why would you take it so personally? It sounds like they have a problem. At least that’s how I interpret it. There’s other friends to hang out with.
Chlink Ink Thank you for your kind and thoughtful reply. I am sort of going through a transition and it’s kind of the first time I tried to...well, put myself out there to make friends, for a long time. I am pretty naive and trust way too easily and I’ll be honest, I felt really hurt. Yes, lol, I take things personally, in my personal life. In my job I have an extremely thick skin. I need a ‘personal’ thick skin, like dinosaur skin, as well 🙂
The commonality between Asperger's and ocpd is to the best of my knowledge alexithymia
BlackMagnolia I think for certain people living with OCPD that might be true. But alexithymia alone is not a personality requirement for the diagnosis of obsessive compulsive personality disorder.
@@OCPD_support I agree ... I said commonality not requirement. Have a good day sir ✌️
That was great. Wow. I really appreciated the answers you gave. I do think taking taking risks has something to do with fear of failure. But, you DO take risks, I think...with this channel, with (you allude to this hobby) riding motorcycles. LOL. It is dangerous, no? And, I appreciate what you said, especially about relationships, early on in the video. Gosh. Being patient, being gentle and loving. I almost started to cry. I just, yeah. I have come to the conclusion that there is nothing more I COULD do, nothing more I can show to express the authenticity of my caring. Just staying there. Being a constant. I don't know. Very good video that I am going to watch again. These are preliminary thoughts that are not organized and entirely coherent, but so be it. Thank you for this.
Larissa Elf I guess you caught me, haha. Maybe I'm taking a lot of risks without acknowledging them. Thank you as usual for such well thought out feedback on my content. I think it was nice to just react to the questions, but almost every question deserves its own well thought out video.
OCPD: My Life In Debris I think you do take risks. I do too. It’s a strange dynamic.
Thank you, excellent content, really helps.
Simi Katra thanks :)
Thank you 😀
Carissa Heath you're welcome :)
Thank you for this video, it´s really helpful. The answer to this question might be obvious, but I wonder if worrying about ones own personality is something people with OCPD do, because this has been a big problem for me and I haven´t been able to find anything about it on the internet.
No2 Koningin - En Vera Cox would this be before or after coming to terms with the idea of having OCPD? Most definitely it is a major struggle and obstacle to healing to know that your personality isn't really your personality. Or at least you can't be sure if it is.
If you mean before knowing about OCPD, the answer would be yes as well. It's unlikely that someone would discover OCPD unless they were struggling with understanding why their personality is the way it is. Thanks for your question. Let me know if you need any more clarity.
@@OCPD_support Thank you for your reaction! I actually meant both. I actually worry about everything unless I see it´s perfect, and since nothing can be perfect, I´m able to worry about everything. I think I worry so much about my personality, also beyond the terms of OCPD, because I have a very clear idea about who I´m supposed to be. That person is different from me. And I think because of my OCPD, I´m perfectionistic and I try to be the way I´m ´supposed to be´.
And yes, it was also difficult to learn that my personality is mostly impacted by this disorder. In a few weeks or months I´m starting to go to psychotherapy, and I´m really afraid of who I will be when I´m ´recovered´ (although I believe you can never fully recover from a personality disorder). Will my opinions change, how will I behave, will I still be the person my friends and family know?
@@no2koningin-enveracox621 I've experience every single last point you bring up in your comment. Those are normal responses to finding out you have a personality disorder. At first it's overwhelming thinking that none of what you believe in and none of what you think may actually be your own thoughts. But it turns out that they mostly are.
This is just for example purposes: Say you were raised in a religious household and you embraced the faith. As you become older you start to question the faith and look deeper into it. After a while you're comfortable with the knowledge you've gained and you are an even firmer believer in your faith. And let's take the opposite. Let's say you were raised in a religious household but you rebel against it. As you get older you become more convinced you're right based off of life experiences. In both situations your family helped shape who you became. Yet the possibility exists for two completely different outcomes.
This is much the same with a personality disorder. The disorder may have shaped some of your thoughts and your beliefs, but you've also taken the time to think about what you believe and those thoughts have shaped your personality. Reducing the effects of the disorder are not going to completely undermine who you are as a person. Just like moving away from your family isn't going to change your belief in religion over night. These types of things are a slow process. And if you're a compassionate person before you get help, you'll be a compassionate person after you get help. If you're logical, you'll remain logical. You'll just be much more aware of your thought processes and you'll be better able to identify which ones are healthy and which are maladaptive.
@@OCPD_support That´s true, thank you. It´s also really nice to see that there are more people struggling with this.
There is information surfacing that OCPD is more prevalent among Autistics, I personally have both, my medical file is pretty much the autism comorbid list on Wikipedia. More research needs to be done. Thank you for this, it has been very interesting and informative.
Simi Katra well I'm hoping that maybe I'll be able to start a foundation at some point in the future to fund more of the research that needs to be done. In the meantime I will keep working on building out the website and making videos.
I was diagnosed with OCD in 2012/2013. Though I don't exactly have the compulsion or maybe I just have it uuder control idk. But, I am starting to think I really have OCPD and maybe even OCD symptoms appear when I am highly stressed. Well I dropped out of 6 courses since 2016 because in fear of not doing the assignment perfectly (like grammar is not perfect, punctuation is not perfect, etc.) I need to get back into therapy for this perfection issue. Though my only consistent issue is unclean house = suicidal ideation for me
iz L thanks for the comment. I would say that an unclean house leading to suicidal ideation is a serious situation that requires some immediate attention. I'm not sure if what you are experiencing is OCPD, but it bares some similarities and is absolutely worth bringing up to a mental health professional.
Most of my issues result from misinterpretations & mis-characterizations of one thing I say which causes a diversion from the central message or theme of the dialogue I’m trying to engage in. If someone you know has OCPD, they’ve carefully thought out approaches with rumination out of a fear of failure (loss of message, use a word which carries multiple meanings, etc.) or embarrassment (engaging in a dialogue I find difficult to get out of, be it morality, lack of humility, or disregard for acknowledging why I feel a certain way). Over the course of my life I noticed my tendency to beat a dead horse when lead into those rabbit holes. If someone you know has OCPD & they’re trying to get a point across, take them at face value they are trying their best to avoid negative confrontation in favor of a peaceful resolution. Especially if it’s about their feelings.
People tend to get intimidated by me because I do carry a presence based on how I was raised to not say anything without having facts to back it up. As it’s been engrained in me (I attribute it to my Greek heritage), it’s a core sense of my being, just as I see your ability and willingness to be proactive rather than provide lip service. I’m blessed to be Puerto Rican with an innate sense of self-awareness & clairvoyance which I attribute to my abuela’s Taíno father who was a bohike (a tribal shaman, or revered griot). I’ve always been in tune with my emotions, incredibly empathic with a strong connection to nature (hiking has helped my happiness, allows me to meditate & gets endorphins running). I cannot stress the issues I have is the persistent misreading of my intentions & the perception I am too “put together” to have a debilitating personality disorder.
I spend hours procrastinating by doing research on something else I find interesting. I also am a notorious list maker. I’ve been writing a novel for years because I focus on making the plot as consistent as possible. I also have a strange obsession with sequences, anything that can be listed and memorized (I knew the states & capitals, as well as all the presidents by the time I was in kindergarten), graphs/charts/statistics, alphabets (I like to believe it due to my constant need of the encyclopedia in debates with family), though I can read almost anything outside of East Asian languages. While they all provide societal benefits, they can be debilitating & frustrating, as they provide a convenient distraction from my overall goals or objectives. This distraction I have is rooted in the fear of failure. I often convince myself I’m not good enough or if I make a mistake it’s going to take a lot more effort to correct (i.e. when knitting, if I notice I skipped a stitch in my pattern two or more rows below, I will unravel it to that point & likely get frustrated enough to put it down a week or so, which by that time I’m already on to a new project). Many unfinished projects.
G A Aspros Figueroa I thanked you for your last comment as it offered a little insight into the mind of someone with OCPD. This comment however peels back many layers and offers others a chance to see deep into the experiences of someone living with OCPD. I don't want to respond with too much as you don't ask any questions and you seem very self aware. I know the inner turmoil that can come from stepping down in a disagreement when we 'feel strongly that we are right. But I've found remaining stoic or walking away, to be the most beneficial thing I can do to stop making bad impressions everywhere I go. The average person has very little interest in the truth, or your truth. People are much more concerned with reaffirming their own set of beliefs. The less we challenge those beliefs, the more congenial we will become. That is not to say it is never prudent to challenge someone or a set of beliefs, but if we pick and choose where and when, we might develop better interpersonal relationships over the long term.
I have another question (you might not even see this because this video was published a long time ago, but I´ll still ask it): people say that you can be ´abusive´ when you have this disorder, and I think I might not always be very nice either because of my OCPD. My question is: how does one´s OCPD negatively affect others and in what ways can someone be ´abusive´ due to OCPD? By the way, I think it´s really brave that you made this video. I can imagine some things might have been hard to say.
No2 Koningin - En Vera Cox thanks for another interesting question. There are many ways that someone with OCPD could become abusive. On the extreme (and more rare end), someone might be physically abusive or constantly respond with anger and yelling. So far, anecdotally, that doesn't seem to be the norm. More normal forms of abuse might be the silent treatment, gaslighting, being controlling, being brutally honest or blunt and being argumentative for starters. It's also possible to not be abusive at all. That seems to be rare as well and that one usually comes down to how someone defines 'abuse'. And how the abuse manifests is usually determined by each specific relationship (i.e. parent/child, spouses, employer/employee).
@@OCPD_support Thank you!
I was diagnosed with OCPD 5 months ago. FINALLY!! I thought I was just driven by a motor and my mind couldn't shut off. I couldn't stop talking about things that bothered me. Clean clean clean. Needless to say my 2nd husband is leaving me. Both became physically abusive towards me. Both called me insane, crazy, etc. I feel I drive people to do things they wouldn't necessarily do otherwise. I wonder if this is common?
Oh, I can write a great deal about 'how OCPD negatively affects others'. I was recently in a situation where, for reasons too complicated to go into here, I ended up sharing living quarters with someone who - unbeknownst to me - had this disorder. He was heavily medicated, but he still showed symptoms. From time to time, he would let out these godawful screams that were absolutely horrifying to listen to from the other room. It wasn't the type of verbal ouburst a normal person would make if they, say, stubbed their toe or missed a bus. These were from a truly tormented soul. Basically, life in this house was a horror movie. Even today, whenever I think of that place, the strongest image that comes to mind is the Overlook Hotel from "The Shining". I guess this may be simply be 'unloading' on my part as much as 'sharing my story', but hopefully the people who are most concerned with this disorder - because they have it, or are treating others with it, or have a loved one with it - can gain something from this post.
I definitely need help with expressing emotion and dealing with other's emotions. My wedding is coming up and I'm half dreading it because of the amount of people I know are going to be extremely emotional, crying and the like. I hate when others are crying. Yet I want to be comfortable around them. I want emotions to feel a little less gross
Kyra Todd there's a lot to unpackage there. Are you currently in any form of therapy or treatment?
@@OCPD_support Yeah I'm doing both personal and premarital counseling. Actually, we figured out that I have some form of OCD in premarital, and my personal counselor said subclinical OCPD. So I'm still in the early stages of figuring out what I can change about my personality to stress less and manage relationships better. I'm currently stuck in quarantine and my fiance is helping me push my limits by playing games that I'm not good at, and forcing myself to deal with making bad moves and losing under my own power. In therapy though, we're working on physical contact as I tend to be repulsed by touching most people, even if I want to touch them. (Handshakes, hugs, having to touch because sitting close together, ect) Hopefully we'll get to managing other people's emotions before the wedding
@@kyratompsett4409 well there isn't anything that isn't changeable. But it's a matter of time and the amount of hard work you're wiling to put in. The tricky thing is that it's possible to find hacks that will alleviate tension and issues in the short term, but if you want to make lasting changes, the only way is to put the work in. But I think if you're determined, you'll be able to subdue the symptoms that you're concerned about in regards to the wedding. Please feel free to leave any questions you have here though. Wishing you all the best on your big day!
Awesome
HammerandNails withBitsy thank you so much!
What if most of the symptoms are there but doesn’t meet criteria for hoarding nor issues with finishing tasks
C M you do not need to meet all of the requirements in order to meet the diagnostic criteria. There is a self test on OCPD.org if you'd like to take a preliminary test before seeking out a mental health professional.
Of course questions brought up more questions in me. Do you think as someone with ocpd that you need to see someone that understands it for it to truly help. My current therapist doesn't specialize in it and has the focus on a general solution not the diagnosis thing but sometimes I feel like me describing ocpd related symptoms doesn't hit as well as it should?
I know that question is a mess but I don't know how else to convey it so hopefully it made enough sense
Kayla Allen I completely understand what you are trying to ask, so there are no worries there. All I can offer is my opinion based on research and anecdotal evidence, so please keep that in mind. My opinion is that you can be helped in a significant way by a licensed professional, even if they do not have the most experience in your particular diagnosis. I believe that a professional with specific experience or a greater knowledge of OCPD would be even more helpful in the long term, but that doesn't negate the usefulness of a therapist that is good at what they do. Another important factor is just whether or not they are a good fit personality-wise. For me, just talking out loud about the things I suffer with, without any judgement or repercussions, is very therapeutic. Then couple that with some effective CBT therapy or some of the other forms of therapy available and I think that a person can make tremendous progress over time. If someone is available to you that is a better fit or has more experience, I would absolutely consider trying them out. But if you do not have that available, do not dismiss the potential help that seeing any qualified professional might bring you. Thanks for your comment and please let me know if you need me to clarify my answer. I'm about to run out the door and I wanted to make sure I didn't have to wait until Monday to give you an answer.
Why ocpd people are so much interested about the person who doesn’t really value them and they ignore that who is really important for her. Have anyone experience this feelings?
Satarupa Sark I'm not sure if that is an OCPD trait or not. I haven't experienced being interested in someone that is not interested in me. But I have probably not valued certain relationships as much as I should have in the past. It's something to work on for sure.
I do experience this feeling. I try to value the ones who value me, but it´s sometimes hard and I tend to be more interested in people who don´t know me or don´t value me indeed. I was diagnosed with OCPD a few days ago.
Thank you for saying this, because I thought I was the only one experiencing this feelings.
Hi. My boyfriend is ocpd and recently he decided to suicide... I dont know what to do. Please help... He is completly hopeless.
Fatima Amiri I would love to give some advice on how he can improve his life with OCPD and how the future is still very much in his control. But I am not a mental health professional and that is what he needs right now if he is serious. Please reach out to the link I post in the next comment. I'm happy to chat with him, but I think that time is of the essence and you should talk to a professional quickly.
afsp.org/find-support/
I appreciate your kindness so much. .he has been taking medicine for a while but he says it doesnt have any effect on him and he is so perfectionist about this subject that he says i will die or just completely cured.
@@fatimaamiri7793 sadly he's so depressed he isn't seeing clearly. Nobody in this world is completely 100% free from mental anguish or a mental disorder or is 100% mentally healthy. Some are much closer than others, but we all have our own struggles. A complete cure is unrealistic. But myself and others have probably gotten to around 80 - 90%. And our lives are fulfilling and joyous at times. It's a tremendous amount of hard work, but for many of us with OCPD we are built for hard work.
All that said, I'll get to my main point: there are no medications for OCPD. Not a single one. So whatever he's taking isn't for what he thinks it's for. There are medications to treat depression and anxiety that can result from having OCPD. Those medications work sometimes and don't work sometimes. And sometimes there's very few side-effects and other times there are overwhelming side-effects.
He needs therapy as soon as possible. He isn't going to start to see reality for what it really is until he gets counseling or therapy. I hope you can talk him into seeing someone or maybe someone else in his life can. But there's a lot of hope for him and he needs to put the suicidal thoughts out of his head. My thoughts are with your during this hard time.
Can you forget you have this shit, lol
Green Wings I don't know. You tell me, haha.
@@OCPD_support it is possible indeed!
I'm glad I got a reminder during my mental exam a few weeks ago because I had given up and totally shut down after moving in with my boyfriend and his grandfather.
If I couldnt do things my way and have my enviroment up to my standards i just went into total depression and stopped functioning at all.
OCpd is not that bad as long as you manage it without letting it manage you or try to impose it on others. I was actually more productive before and I see a need to allow myself to be myself again. Especially w a kid on the way any day, I've got to get back to being functional and not just completely shut down and avoiding life 24/7. I was sick of making everyone around me uncomfortable but there has got to be a middle ground where I can still have personal standards and adhere to routines that assist me in accomplishing the tasks of daily living. I am a complete mess and I am disappointed in myself for giving up. Gotta turn myself around now.
@@autismenlightenment I'm glad you got the reminder. And we're here to lean on each other in times of need.
@@OCPD_support 💚
You very easily dismiss the relation between OCPD and ASD (which now includes Asperger) but there is a hugh overlap. The lack of correlation could be because of lack in research.
I used to think I don't have ASD because I'm very social, but apparently, women with ASD do "pass" as social (There are many RUclips vlogs about it too). When I asked my Psychiatrist if I might have OCPD/ASD comorbidities, he claimed that diagnosis isn't the point, but treatment. Neurologicaly OCPD, OCD, ASD and ADHD occur when the frontal lobe can't prossess information efficiently. In the end, we all need to go through treatment for anxiety and individual therapy that addresses our individual thought prossess.
The diagnosis is just a tool to find the right solution, but a brain scan of OCPD brain vs ASD brain might look the same.
Zipkik Too thanks for your comment. I of course welcome opposing points of view. It's great for both of us as we get to practice seeing another person's perspective, and that's good therapy for OCPD.
I'll start with where we agree. I'm in the same camp as your psychiatrist. I think it's easy for anyone to get hung up on a diagnosis, and even more so for those with OCPD. The treatment and its effectiveness should take the highest priority. And as you said, in the end ew all need to go through treatment for anxiety and treatment for our maladaptive thought processes.
As far as where we disagree, I'll start with the fact that I probably misrepresent myself a bit in the video with how quickly I dismiss any relation between ASD and OCPD. I don't delve into it deeper as it's a challenge to get people to watch these videos all the way through. I want them to be educational, but also interesting enough that viewers make it all the way to the end. So it's always a conundrum as to how much to include. Having said that, although I seem to easily dismiss the relation between the two, in real life I have spent a considerable amount of time looking into the overlap. Many people have sent me persuasive information as well to read. So it is after having completed a lot of research that I have come to my decision. And please remember, my decision is really only my opinion, although I am basing it on the DSM, the research available and the mental health professionals I've discussed this with. Correlation does not equal causation, and so for the time being I remain unconvinced. Science will tell us in due time which one of us is correct. In the meantime I hope that both of us are receiving the best possible help and are experiencing as much joy in life as possible.
@@OCPD_support Thanks for the thoughtful and considerate reply! I definitely misinterpreted your answers in the end of the video. If you do have more to say about the topic, I think it would make a great video. (You already have many about the difference with OCD).
I think my problem is mostly with the current definitions of the disorders. While people with OCPD will not necessarily struggle with ASD symptoms, many people with Asperger's do struggle with obsession with rules, black and white thinking, perfectionism etc. Which are overlooked by the DSM's symptoms for ASD.
It's not like there's a clear answer for what is ASD or OCPD that science can discover. I think it's more of a theoretical demarcation that gives scientists the framework to understand human behaviour. I only hope that by the next DSM, we will have better ways to group symptoms together.
In any way, I'm glad to be grouped with you!
@@zipkiktoo7023 thank you for taking my comment in the nature in which is was intended. I agree with everything you just wrote. It seems as though you've put tremendous thought into this. I think for sure there is also some strong comorbidity between ASD and OCPD. I see that quite frequently. I'm working on building an OCPD reference website. Right now it is mostly just the videos being posted there while I work on things behind the scenes. But once it is fully up and running I will write some more in depth articles and share information that connects the two. I'm also happy to try and cover it in a future video. If you come across any information you'd like to share you can message me at the social accounts I link to in the description of my videos.
@@zipkiktoo7023 ocpdonline.com
Zipkik Too yes thank you there are many overlaps between OCPD and ASD. Getting the right diagnosis is the key to getting the right treatment
Is there a cure? :(
Sara Nox the short answer is no. But the hopeful answer is that with therapy and a lot of work, it's completely possible to rid your life of the symptoms and thoughts that might be making life hard, complicated or insufferable if you have OCPD.
Sara Nox just to clarify, I'm not saying that there isn't a fix. There is. It's just that a personality disorder is something that you can't "cure" so to speak.
OCPD: My Life In Debris I identify with concientious (keeping me from being productive) and parsimonious (extremely stingy) I am optimistic I can get a handle on my symptoms, however I can clearly identify my brother as symptoms of bureaucratic, parsimonious (extreme hoarding, schizoid feautures), puritanical (he is very paranoid strict, close minded and dominant) and bedevilled (became passive aggressive towards me and isolating himself) (the emphatic without a clear idea how to express it, manifested in him stroking our grandparents while they were sleeping) I‘m very passionate about what makes people tick and I couldn‘t pinnpoint his behaviors until now. I was only able to identify f.e. narcissistic, schitzoid and paranoid features. Others have suggested he has psychosis but they aren’t educated enough. I found through researching my own struggles with stingyness this diagnosis which his weird behaviors finally make total sense to me. Understanding human behavior is my passion and I am relieved he isn‘t psychotic, also I am not surprised since it didn’t quiet fit.
@@saranox7319 I'm very happy to hear your research turned up information that gave you a little peace of mind in regards your brother. If you have any specific questions you're more than welcome to ask.