This Mindset Shift Can Change Everything

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  • Опубликовано: 2 окт 2024
  • Subscribe to me @Dr Julie for more videos on mental health and psychology. #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #shorts
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    WHO AM I:
    I'm a clinical psychologist. I am here to share insights from therapy and psychology research so that you can make use of it in your daily life to understand how your mind works and optimise your own mental health. I cover all things from confidence and motivation to mood and anxiety. I look forward to chatting with you in the comments.

Комментарии • 383

  • @diana4043
    @diana4043 Год назад +740

    “One failure does not define you”

    • @CrazyCormac
      @CrazyCormac Год назад +21

      This single thing.. took away 6 years of my life..

    • @ava5447
      @ava5447 Год назад

      What happened? If u can talk about it

    • @dewittkids7411
      @dewittkids7411 Год назад

      @crazycormac7741 what happened if you don't mind me asking

    • @yournightmaredressedinaday3558
      @yournightmaredressedinaday3558 Год назад

      @@CrazyCormac wanna talk bout it maybe u will feel better?

    • @hawkdaddy7212
      @hawkdaddy7212 Год назад +13

      That's the thing....what if it's multiple failures? Multiple disappointments? Multiple fv

  • @kidskrause
    @kidskrause Год назад +65

    you know, somehow whenever I'm in a bad mood you always come up with this videos and it does help, so thank you for that.

  • @fariaadil
    @fariaadil Год назад +611

    That's the issue it's not one failure. It's recurring failure😞

    • @delulu6969
      @delulu6969 Год назад +40

      I feel the same 😔

    • @sakak977
      @sakak977 Год назад +58

      Join the club. I feel like I'm a billionaire in failures.

    • @SvetoslavMarinov
      @SvetoslavMarinov Год назад +22

      Well, watch the video again then 🙂 new decisions and action will lead to different results. Good luck

    • @suicidecucumber1404
      @suicidecucumber1404 Год назад +6

      I feel the same..

    • @RoboArtCo
      @RoboArtCo Год назад +3

      It's your fault.

  • @amye0715
    @amye0715 Год назад +92

    Thanks for the advice! I struggle with self doubt and it makes me feel like a failure, even when I did nothing wrong. So I really needed this. Love your videos ❤️😊

  • @paintyourrosesred
    @paintyourrosesred Год назад +88

    Could you do something on social anxiety or loneliness please 🥺

  • @arunprakash6965
    @arunprakash6965 Год назад +5

    I can't tell you enough, how much you influence positively on the lives of people with anxiety and self realisation issues! 👏

  • @wardwijs
    @wardwijs Год назад +2

    I have just been on a Channel where a female relation therapist said that man disliked woman or even hated them.
    What a relief to see a real psychologist in action. I like people like you.

  • @AwesomeAlly1
    @AwesomeAlly1 11 месяцев назад

    You make me feel less lonely and you just make my day brighter

  • @jacobN1993
    @jacobN1993 9 месяцев назад

    I can separate the failure. Its a great way to learn tbh.
    I just feel absolutely disgusting, and just a waste of anyone's time

  • @annafrancesca13
    @annafrancesca13 11 месяцев назад

    Thank you so much! I deal with a lot of rejection and you are helping me cope with it. I appreciate you so much ❤❤

  • @MrErachid
    @MrErachid 5 месяцев назад

    Respect Doctor

  • @christinenelson5017
    @christinenelson5017 6 месяцев назад

    Thank you for this!!

  • @EveKatharsis
    @EveKatharsis Год назад +1

    "I'm such a/n......" words are powerful, investigate where the following comes from and change it if it's negative immediately! You wire it in by repeating the thoughts or words. Be kind to yourself #1

  • @johnbrittan4181
    @johnbrittan4181 Год назад

    You are beautiful inside and out thank you❤

  • @smoczamalina
    @smoczamalina 7 месяцев назад

    Thank you ❤

  • @firstnamelastname8527
    @firstnamelastname8527 Год назад +42

    I end in isolating myself from my friends.
    I feel invisible to them as I can't relate as I have symptoms of PTSD
    they often talk about there therapist and I feel jealous & awkward.
    But can't bring my self to go and get one or even talk with them.
    I'm also scared of hurting them but anger outbursts.
    So I don't make plans or hang out.
    And it just turned in to a habbit

    • @peaceofmindofpeace1650
      @peaceofmindofpeace1650 Год назад +4

      Maybe therapeutic boxing would be good.
      We all can find a way that fits best to build ourselves up and letting go of our internal neg voice.

    • @MoonlitBookworm73
      @MoonlitBookworm73 Год назад +5

      Hey, it’s gonna be okay. Some people don’t do well with talking at first, but I would advise it eventually. Maybe start with journaling or even boxing like the person above said. Find a way to take out your anger and maybe once you have a way of dealing with stress and anger, then move onto a therapist for the trauma and sad emotions.
      Whatever you choose to do, I wish you all the best on your journey and I hope you are able to live your life to the fullest one day, even if that day is not right now.

    • @jenninemorel7693
      @jenninemorel7693 Год назад +4

      You're in a downward spiral.
      But, guess what? You can turn this whole thing around. You can exist 180° from where you are right now.
      It starts with your choice of words. New positive statements will sound and feel awkward at first, but you will embrace them with time.
      PTSD only controls you ad long as you don't challenge that reality. You can overcome with persistent work on yourself, your thoughts your attitudes, your beliefs, etc
      There are some therapy options online and you can start by journaling and doing yoga and meditation.
      There are lots of personal development videos here on RUclips so explore your options and be well.

    • @That.Lady.withtheYarn
      @That.Lady.withtheYarn Год назад +4

      Before i got a therapy i use to use the internet. But i played DnD in my head. Use fantasy... Your fears abs trauma leaks its way into the game and your character has to deal. Not a substitute for therapy but helps relieve a little stress.
      My therapists have suggested art: knit/ crochet, coloring books. Find what works for you. You got here to these vids.... You're getting some therapy :)

    • @angelacarroll9750
      @angelacarroll9750 Год назад

      Hi, I just saw your comment, wondering if you feel the same way now. My suggestion was, to ask your friends if they could suggest the name of their therapist as you need a little help. Or ask your doctor to recommend, or refer one. If you're better now, that's great. Good luck 👍

  • @AshrekaKuku
    @AshrekaKuku 5 месяцев назад +1

    I love you. you are a great problem solver😊❤

  • @mruz4724
    @mruz4724 5 месяцев назад

    Thanks doc

  • @Lulu-x5d
    @Lulu-x5d Год назад

    I used to have a friend who manipulated me this way, at that time I always think about dead because because i think I m not worth living

  • @sandstorm3363
    @sandstorm3363 8 месяцев назад

    Thank you

  • @ireneanderson859
    @ireneanderson859 10 месяцев назад

    Just think of all the failures some make before a huge success

  • @Mr_ST_720
    @Mr_ST_720 8 месяцев назад

    ❤ ur voice intoxicating

  • @neilslabbekoorn3258
    @neilslabbekoorn3258 Год назад +1

    Thanks
    I was just wondering can you do a video on how to tell a friend that they aren't our friend anymore

  • @pribiswas9757
    @pribiswas9757 Год назад

    Thank you

  • @nikitaagrawal6215
    @nikitaagrawal6215 Год назад

    Thank you

  • @Rubylim309
    @Rubylim309 3 месяца назад

    Love your contents!

  • @yonasmengs1054
    @yonasmengs1054 Год назад

    It is nice to be vigilant.

  • @kellylynnjones4426
    @kellylynnjones4426 11 месяцев назад

    I was/am trained to be fearful if I did something because in "MY MOTHERS EYES ""I WAS WRONG !!!"" SHE WOULD JUST LOOK AT ME AND I'M SHAKEING I KNEW SHE WOULD BE NOT HAPPY WITH ME EVERYTHING I COULDN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT. THE ONLY TIME SHE TALKED TO US WAS IF WE HAD DONE SOMETHING WRONG SO NOW IF I AM QUESTIONED ABOUT "ANYTHING" I HAVE A DOWNWARD SPIRAL.... THERE WAS """ZERO""" PRAISE FROM HER. I WAS A GIRL AND I FEEL THAT WAS THE PROPLEM FOR HER... I QUESTIONED MY DAD BECAUSE I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT MY SKULL 💀 WAS KINDA DEFORMED AND I ASK HIM AND HE BRUSHED IT OFF AND HE LIED TO ME SAYING "EVERYONE HAS LUMPS AND BUMPS ON THERE HEADS" AHHHH NO.... SO I HAD THROUGH THE YEARS WASHED MANY PEOPLE'S HAIR AND SO I SAID TO HIM WHY DO I HAVE THESE BIG DENTS IN MY HEAD.... WELL HE TURNED TO "MY MOTHER" AND SAID LINDA WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO TELL HER...😳 MY SWEET EVERSO LOVING MOTHER HAD LOST IT ONE PARTICLAR DAY SHE LOST IT AND THROUGH ME LITTERLY INTO A WALL😳 I WAS STILL A BABY🥺 AND THAT MY DEAR IS JUST A SNIBIT OF THE FEAR I HAVE.

  • @MrFarodo
    @MrFarodo Год назад +4

    What is the background music? Sounds so relaxing and calm - would love to know what it is (style, exact song, artist,..)

  • @kelligirl2482
    @kelligirl2482 8 месяцев назад

    👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽thank you!

  • @lunaskywalker5094
    @lunaskywalker5094 8 месяцев назад

    I am good as I am

  • @Duckk815
    @Duckk815 Год назад +12

    God bless this woman for giving us tips in life that we really need in the most hard moments

  • @gooseontheloose6366
    @gooseontheloose6366 Год назад

    What I was taught in school is to add yet at the end. For example, I'm not good enough, yet. I would never use this though, as it's more I'm dumb, yet.

  • @ilovetosingxo30
    @ilovetosingxo30 Год назад +1

    I am not a failure ♥️

  • @abi..x..person
    @abi..x..person Год назад +7

    early! and ty for the advice Dr Julie ❤

  • @fayekalantzis4523
    @fayekalantzis4523 Год назад

    Thanks 👍😍😊

  • @tinnychan5190
    @tinnychan5190 Год назад

    do something on self-hurt pls

  • @mikehess4494
    @mikehess4494 10 месяцев назад

    I don't fail, I just found a way that isn't giving me the results I need. I say, well that didn't work, then I do it again a different way. Before I do something I study the steps and make sure before I begin I have all the tools needed. And possibly someone to talk to who has experience.

  • @shirin16
    @shirin16 Год назад

    I needed this thank you so much

  • @СнежинаКолева
    @СнежинаКолева Год назад

    How nice you are. That dress suits on you very well. You are marvelous. Your voice make me feel better. I don't have enough of your videos and watching over and over again.

  • @DrJulie
    @DrJulie  8 месяцев назад

    I'm Dr. Julie thanks for being here. Subscribe for more videos on mental health and psychology.
    For more see my international bestselling book - Why has nobody told me this before?
    👉 linktr.ee/drjuliesmith

  • @BogoloNaane-ig9qn
    @BogoloNaane-ig9qn Год назад

    It's only works. For a certain amount of time overtime the failure kinda clouds everything

  • @kamshikamshi216
    @kamshikamshi216 Год назад

    this works so good

  • @roshaney5730
    @roshaney5730 Год назад

    And what about..... repeatedly coming failures?.....what if you only sit and watch ourselves turning into rust and doing nothing....as if we can't move or can't ever trust ourselves or can't ever get out of the situations being created in our minds....what if we live in a fantasy....which is far away from reality...and we don't except reality....

  • @pinkunicorn865
    @pinkunicorn865 6 месяцев назад

    Thank yoy

  • @DtiQueeneee
    @DtiQueeneee Год назад

    I’m a depressed 10 year old kid with friends I don’t trust, a pushover called ‘lesbian’ in a mean way by classmates because I like my friend, a 10 year old girl who has gone to physchology because parents fight on their relationship and a mum who doesn’t let me have my own style (I like Cottagecore things/old fashion but she says that it’s ugly and that I should like modern/ futuristic things. Only people I have are online friends I’ve never met because they live in a different country, the youngest kid in my family letting my older brother call me fat, ugly, scare me with a specific doll etc and an older sister with special needs (P.W.S) which always pushes me down to not be able to talk to my parents about all of this because I can’t interrupt her without getting into trouble and she never stops talking.
    So umm what do I do about this??
    P.S: please help I actually think I need help

  • @saniatamanna7763
    @saniatamanna7763 7 месяцев назад

    True

  • @KimYung_GemmeryJayne_Luong
    @KimYung_GemmeryJayne_Luong Год назад

    How about a chain of failure? One can’t but multiple can

  • @Soda_Fizzy
    @Soda_Fizzy 11 месяцев назад

    My problem is that, since im still in school, my mom bases everything i have on my grades.

  • @Bob-Mann
    @Bob-Mann 7 месяцев назад

    I’m alright with failure 🎉❤ lord will help me with the real win if ❤
    🇬🇧

  • @stacey738
    @stacey738 Год назад +3

    I started doing rhis with myself years ago, and now i do it with my husband and my daughter. He said to her "you are a disappointment " and i was like hold up. You can't say that. Lets rephrase that. "Your behavior this morning made us feel disappointed ". I dont want those sentences being fed into my daughter's 4yo brain. And the later to my husband i said "just because your mom called you a disappointment, doesn't mean its okay. It wasn't okay, because you were never a disappointment as a person."

  • @madelynn_ryder
    @madelynn_ryder 5 месяцев назад +1

    Yes one failure doesn't define us, because we are humans after all..humans make mistakes, we aren't God.

  • @allthingsbeautiful2393
    @allthingsbeautiful2393 Год назад +6

    I can't express how much of an eye opener you've been... I know I have alot of anxieties about myself... your videos has lead me to realise them and quit running away and actually face my fears... which has lead me to grow stronger and look more positively at life... I realise now its not all that bad to foot your down.... and it's OK to prioritise yourself... so thank you so much

  • @rajwinderkaur7786
    @rajwinderkaur7786 8 месяцев назад

    I was failure then when I was speaking with him. Now I an not failure.

  • @Huffle_Edz_248
    @Huffle_Edz_248 Год назад +6

    But, I am a failure. How am I supposed to tell myself I’m a girl who belongs, when everyday I fail. It feels like my friends do nothing to help.

    • @shreyachava8969
      @shreyachava8969 Год назад +3

      If u didn’t belong, you would be a perfect girl who doesn’t make mistakes. Everyone makes millions of mistakes everyday, that’s what keeps us growing all the time.

    • @Lauren-yr8ki
      @Lauren-yr8ki Год назад +2

      You are not a failure. Think about all the things you couldn´t do when you were younger and can do now. Failing on something means you are learning something, and eventually, you will not fail on that one thing anymore. You got this ❤

    • @Huffle_Edz_248
      @Huffle_Edz_248 Год назад +2

      Thank you

    • @Huffle_Edz_248
      @Huffle_Edz_248 Год назад +2

      This really means a lot to me

  • @Undomaranel
    @Undomaranel Год назад +1

    You did it again RUclips. I've hit "do not recommend channel" more times than I've commented on these vids. Block it. I do NOT want to keep trolling comments because your algorithm keeps forcing me to see these in shorts.

    • @helenchelmicka3028
      @helenchelmicka3028 Год назад

      Def. These videos make me want to hurt myself. I won't be graphic. Def not for me obviously so I won't be watching. It looks like her advice resonates with a lot of people so that's great though. I hope it illustrates how desperate the need for mental health support is. Suicide is the no.1 killer of men under 40. If that was heart disease there would probably be warnings on fatty foods.

  • @salyschweber3858
    @salyschweber3858 10 месяцев назад

    AMEN

  • @Flowery0
    @Flowery0 11 месяцев назад

    My wifi didn't want to hear you say "i'm a failure", so it stopped the video right before that

  • @sciencegirl4652
    @sciencegirl4652 Год назад +7

    Thanks for posting this today I really needed this today❤️

  • @Music_Hoarder
    @Music_Hoarder Год назад +2

    What if someone keeps reminding me of the time I had one missing assignment in history then because I told them that I didn’t have work they then said I was a liar?
    What do you do if someone keeps remembering you that you are a failure?
    What do you do if your friends are rude/hurt you just because?(only one or two times) Do you leave them behind?
    I just need some help because I can’t talk to those close because they are what I’m talking about

  • @HandleTakenYA
    @HandleTakenYA 10 месяцев назад

    I sometimes say im stupid as motivation for my math. 😅

  • @RhondaR4
    @RhondaR4 Год назад +5

    I am learning so many things from you! I needed this right at this time! Thank you, Dr. Julie! GOD BLESS YOUR HEART! THANK JESUS ! PRAISE GOD!🙌🏽🙏🏽❤️🌟

  • @scavenderbird
    @scavenderbird Год назад +1

    Now I'm gonna write a long ass paragraph so ignore me lol
    I often cry over stupid things like for example video games, I know that that is pathetic. I just don't like that when I'm bad at things. I'm not completely sure why but I think it's because first of all I'm a perfectionist and second my parents didn't tell me too much positive things when I grew up. They did like the basic when as a 4 year old you go and show one crappy drawing and they are like: "Wow it looks so good" even tho it doesn't. But as I worked with kids myself later I realized that maybe I didn't get enough of those compliments. So I think I grew more hungry for compliments that I never got. Then I realized that I wasn't going to get those from my family so I tried to get those from myself. But my perfectionist ass didn't let me compliment myself if no one else did and if it wasn't perfect. So as a 20 yeas old I still crave compliments and if someone says something nice to me I'm like...in heaven :D

  • @vampireclaws5712
    @vampireclaws5712 Год назад +3

    What if someone you loved called you one and now that's all I hear when i do any thing

    • @isbetosaurus
      @isbetosaurus Год назад

      Train yourself not to say the same thing to yourself.

  • @mercymallari3871
    @mercymallari3871 Год назад +4

    I believe ,bcoz if you allow that one failure to affect you it really defines you nd becomes usually weakens your spirit that leads to disappointments nd negativity

  • @sabitamohanty258
    @sabitamohanty258 Год назад

    Thank u very much guide me.

  • @anuheeramun
    @anuheeramun Год назад

    How do we identify our self worth?

  • @That.Lady.withtheYarn
    @That.Lady.withtheYarn Год назад +2

    Its having ask those failures thrown in your face by family as a form of attack till you're so down you're not a person anymore. Then you fail in adulthood abs its more of the same attacks

  • @velmascientista7026
    @velmascientista7026 Год назад +2

    But what if these statements regarding self esteem are delivered not by us but by our loved ones?? How does one deal with that ?

  • @jacqueline4749
    @jacqueline4749 Год назад

    My language towards myself is the worst.

  • @MisterJackTheAttack
    @MisterJackTheAttack Год назад

    Multiple failures make me a failure though, right?

  • @amandahunter9186
    @amandahunter9186 Год назад

    Im lonely and depressed when I miss my future boyfriend and I am heartbroken why I feel worthless helpless etc and a failure why I am never going to be happy if I never get what I want and that is a relationship with someone else in another country that is safer than the one I live in because of dangerous people and how nobody will eventually stop paying to protect women from dangerous people from jail and I don't feel safe anymore because I live alone and have nowhere to go if I don't have enough money to survive being independent and have a home if nobody wants to rent to me if nobody wants to accept the rent I pay if its never enough and I don't want to be homeless and dealing with dangerous people if I can't protect myself from nobody because I am weak and pathetic and a loser that will get hurt or killed easily because someone will kidnapp me and nobody will do anything to help me because they don't care about me if my life was in danger nobody will stop me from being kidnapped and do nothing for me because nobody cares about me because they feel I deserve to get kidnapped because of how selfish they are and will never be there for me

  • @ppp5212
    @ppp5212 Год назад

    Failure is never a person, IT'S an event------- Anupam Kher's father

  • @Carmen-Linda5845
    @Carmen-Linda5845 Год назад

    She is a good one. Like.

  • @Soso-ho9wv
    @Soso-ho9wv Год назад +1

    Hi can you please help me
    I am 27 years old and I have some problems starting with Social anxiety and overthinking also I tend to talk to myself at loud when I am alone
    I can't afford therapy

  • @Monkey80llx
    @Monkey80llx Год назад

    Amazing reminder 🙏🏼🏆❤️

  • @sandeepssidhu8789
    @sandeepssidhu8789 11 месяцев назад

    Thanks to the most beautiful eyes on the planet. :)

  • @Mia6969mia
    @Mia6969mia Год назад +4

    It’s not about self worth it’s about strict parents reaction towards one failure…

  • @annemettefrederiksen7751
    @annemettefrederiksen7751 8 месяцев назад

    Please, my entire life is a freaking failure...One gets used to it eventually..

  • @adhitamukherjee5558
    @adhitamukherjee5558 Год назад

    One failure doesn't define you
    Me: what if it's more than one 😅

  • @ceceliadavis471
    @ceceliadavis471 Год назад +2

    This reminds me of something I read. "Failure is not a person, it's an event."

  • @QueenHarmony2014
    @QueenHarmony2014 Год назад

    What about I,m cool
    I,m enough

  • @sarahno4748
    @sarahno4748 Год назад +1

    Avoid saying I "should" do certain things or "should've"
    implies right and wrong and you're already wrong or you're setting yourself up to feel guilty.

  • @kenziekreymer4843
    @kenziekreymer4843 Год назад +1

    I have had so many failures and to be honest I have just given up at this point. I may have many friends and family that love me yet I feel so lonely all the time. I always have to fake my happiness and it seems as though people think I am happy, yet I am not and I am tired of faking my happiness. What do I do?

  • @weirdturtle-yt1uz
    @weirdturtle-yt1uz 8 месяцев назад +1

    Ah, shit. Here we go again. I’m in my “holy crap all of these describe me” stage

  • @cristianvazquez7542
    @cristianvazquez7542 Год назад +1

    What about when your family members call you every insult under the sun that would make things worse

  • @hoor5103
    @hoor5103 Год назад

    Hi mam .. I need a solution to overcome my past relationship... I have two kids and the best husband... But, something remembers my past relationship everyday.. I have been married for 7 years.. but can't able forget him..

  • @l0stmoon503
    @l0stmoon503 Год назад +1

    I’m sorry but can you make a video of what to do if you have a Anxiety Attack in class or anywhere

  • @casopis.sophie
    @casopis.sophie Год назад

    So how exactly diffrentiate the failure and your self worth? I get the concept but dont know how to do irl

  • @Alex-ow6jg
    @Alex-ow6jg Год назад +1

    Can you tell me why none of psychological tips work for me😑

  • @Morsurator
    @Morsurator Год назад +1

    One failure may not define me. What about one hundred failures? Does that define me😪

  • @thirtywine
    @thirtywine Год назад

    So what/how to say it?

  • @MrMilkmau
    @MrMilkmau Год назад +1

    one failure does not define you:
    my exams:👁👅👁

  • @countrygirl4ever101
    @countrygirl4ever101 Год назад +1

    I'm learning to b a teacher. I will be hearing a lot i need to work on. Very hard to hear.

  • @ElyaKaleua
    @ElyaKaleua 11 месяцев назад +1

    I needed this. I've been feeling like a failure recently.
    Ive failed a lot over the years, but I'm working my tail off to succeed anyway.

    • @ClaireBarquet
      @ClaireBarquet Месяц назад

      It's okay. Everything gets better at some. Time

  • @cathywyman8103
    @cathywyman8103 Год назад +1

    I am so afraid of failure, I stay inside most of the time. I feel safe in my cocoon.

  • @EmDillyDoo
    @EmDillyDoo Год назад +2

    Thank you so so much! I really needed this right now

  • @lottieweller441
    @lottieweller441 Год назад +2

    My depression and anxiety has really improved since I saw these videos you are amazing and mean so much to me xx

  • @royalsam6894
    @royalsam6894 Год назад +2

    I always wait for your shorts

  • @saritaonyoutube
    @saritaonyoutube Год назад +1

    Thanks always for all your shared short videos and the nice simple way you demostrat problem and the solution. It s shame though that we cannot communicate with you directly.