You Have So Much Potential (ft. Twice Exceptional)
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- Опубликовано: 10 июл 2024
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I'm sure in our time in school we have all heard the dreaded phrase, "You are such a smart kid, but such a bad student!" from a teacher at some point. But what exactly makes us both a "Smart Kid" but "Bad Student"? We're Twice Exceptional, that's what!
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I was officially labeled as “gifted” as a kid, which meant I was twice an outcast. I was the only “gifted” kid, singling me out, but also the weird kid who didn’t understand social cues. It didn’t help that teachers and my parents kept asking me why I didn’t try. It’s really isolating. But now, with a diagnosis and lots of support, I am unlearning these ideas that I’m not “reaching my potential” or “being lazy” - it’s incredible to feel like I’m finally finding a community, like the one here!
Ooooof, that's a rough situation to be in and something I can relate to, as well. Also we're glad to have you in our community! 🧡 And kudos for taking the steps to begin unlearning those ideas!!
- Harley, Community Manager
@@HowtoADHD you made my day, thank you! It’s a joy to be part of such a supportive community :)
Definitely. I was apparently also 'gifted' and yet I've arrived at middle-aged, living with my parents, picking up the pieces AGAIN. Hopefully this will be the last time however :) I'm hoping to train as a counsellor / therapist in the near future, and be back on track, at last :) Undiagnosed High-Functioning Autism + Same for ADHD, is a pain indeed. Getting diagnosed soon I think though!
Hey, same! Some teachers doubted the tests the state made me do which got me 129 IQ, as I've read the documents about myself on school, a lot of notes about how I was only interested in doing what I wanted and when I did it, it was with mastery. But anything else, I was absolutely disorganized and lazy, a math teacher said on my documents I actually had DIFFICULTY! I was around 14. Its funny because nowadays I am on computer science lol! Didnt accept my ADHD, thought it was a false thing because all of the parents and the internet parroting wrong info and such. Now at 18, after deep research and psychiatrists, started taking my meds and life seems such an incredible thing now.
In the end, at math, I just wasnt stimulated enough, which with low-level programming it was another thing, something I loved and hyperfocused.
I went through the same things. This channel and this community are a godsend. I wish I had something like this when I was a kid in the 80’s, but I’m glad to have it now.
One of the lasting memories of my childhood is when I had to retake my Geometry class in summer school after I got an "F" during the semester. When heading back to class during summer school, I had my previous semester math teacher and my summer math teacher walking next to me. I saw my previous math teacher point at me and said, "Can you believe this kid is taking summer school" and then shook his head. He knew I was capable of passing the class without a problem but I was such a poor student, not sitting still, falling asleep in class, hating to do the homework, and so on. I don't know if it's ADHD for sure, but a lot of things I've watched in this channel touches way too close to home.
It's definitely worth looking into! If a lot of these videos resonate with you, it's definitely worth seeking a diagnosis. :)
Love your content @PictureFit
Often refer to your channel when im confused about fitness topics.... *it depends*
I would definitely look into finding out if you have ADHD!
What is it with geometry teachers?! I failed Geometry the first time I took it because even though I Aced all my tests, and participated in class, my teacher had a horrible policy where he'd fail students if they missed even 1 homework assignment. He told me "You're the smartest student I've ever had to fail"
Everyone made the issue about me, and told me that there was no one to fight the rule because teachers could do whatever they wanted. If I had known then what I know now about... everything... I would have fought tooth and nail to have the grade changed, and his stupid ableist policy ended.
A lot of us got diagnosed after relating to videos! Definitely talk to your doctor about a neuropsych eval, it’s worth it!
When I was in school, inattentive ADHD wasn’t a thing yet.
My teachers pretty much diagnosed me with He Does Not Apply Himselfitis with a side of He Needs to Try Harderitis.
It was called ADD in my school days but I was a girl so I was just “day dreaming” 🤦🏻♀️
I ended up dropping out and getting my GED because I couldn’t focus.
@@sourgreendolly7685 It was called ADD when I was in school, also. However, since I wasn’t hyper they didn’t think I had ADHD… hence, my “Adult ADHD” diagnosis around 2006.
@@sourgreendolly7685 same here. Of course nobody realized that we were day dreaming while we were supposed to be paying attention to something, thus the deficit... It's in the name and its obvious but somehow it was missed.
Same for me. I started school in the 1960s. Can't tell you how many times I was told I was smart, but: "She's a dreamer. She needs to apply herself!"
I remember self diagnosing in 9th grade, it was called "zappelphilipsyndrom". The teacher told me, as the calmest person in the class, I couldn't have this condition.
I was diagnosed, when I started school in another country, however it was believed to be a behavioural problem that could be fixed with the right upbringing. To avoid the nocebo effect, I wasn't told until last year
When I tried to figure out on my own why I was so lazy, every professional I've met explained my struggles with me being from another country, or having unusually strict parents, some even called them abusive (why would parents be abusive to only one of four kids?), others explained it with me being too unique to fit in any category (being migrant, or girl etc)
"a joy to have in class, but wish she would apply herself" or "she has so much potential but is unmotivated"
I got the speeches every year, multiple times from multiple teachers. Looking back on it, it was so obvious that I was struggling with ADHD but no one took the initiative to help me until my high school vice principal in my senior year. She's the only reason I graduated at all
I heard this tons as well, as was a constant through high school for me. it was also after my parents took me off the ADHD meds i had all through elementary and junior high. Some part of whoever they were working with felt that since i was older, i should be able to get by without the medication now.
As i was unaware of the real diagnosis back then, i didn't really see the relevance in life and the lack of medication. Looking back now, a lot of it fits together way too well. Now, as an adult, i'm having a hard time getting medication again without getting verified as having ADHD... Like, it was there before, just help me find the right medication, the ADHD wasn't just grown out of.
@@mistertitus6814 yeah that's something I'll never truly understand, the idea that ADHD is a kid's problem and that it can be grown out of... 😅
Did you copy that directly from my report cards?
This one hit me hard. Not only was an unsupported 2e student, all three of my children are 2e and I am still trying to get them proper support.
It's either that or they put you on drugs that, at least for me, made me feel like a zombie. Maybe that part is just me?
I got the same speeches, was even diagnosed quite young for a girl, thanks to a brilliant teacher. There were never accomodations made, because I always did enough to pass.
Being diagnosed so late in life I feel like I missed so much of my potential. I'm so glad you are here to hopefully help those younger and diagnosed!
Yeahhhh it's discouraging when life has passed by only to learn much later than others that you're just wired differently. But that doesn't mean you can't reach your potential now. 🧡 It may not have been realised for a lot of your life but it can still be realised in the time you've got left! 😊🥰
@@HowtoADHD Thank you so much! It also allows me to forgive myself as I always thought I was just lazy!
I can appreciate that to an extent. For me, who is in the process of being diagnosed, I’m actually excited by future possibilities now that I know how my brain works. In many ways it has renewed my resilience.
@@brandons4116 That is so awesome! For me at 58 it seems more a way to forgive my shortcomings and give tools to improve my future. I think it's great you have such a positive outlook! That will only help moving forward!!
This encapsulates my experience, ASD diagnosis at 40 and ADHD at 42. So much missed potential but hopefully I'm still young enough to make some amends.
I'm really hoping the amassed knowledge means more youngsters come closer to knowing and fulfilling what their heart desires.
This really hit home, I never needed accommodations in school, so nobody suspected I had ADHD until my fourth semester in university. Getting my diagnosis was such a big step because I didn't blame myself for not being able to do it the way everyone else did anymore. But from time to time I still think that I should be able to do everything without help or medication, because I was able to do it without for a long time and therefore I don't deserve additional support. I needed to hear this, thank you
I completely relate. I didn't get diagnosed until my second semester of grad school, and I didn't start medication until a few months later. My logic for that was, "I've managed for 22 years without medication, so I shouldn't need it." It wasn't until I moved apartments and was stuck in ADHD paralysis for weeks because of the chaos that I considered starting meds, and I wish I would've done it sooner. The difference after starting was like night and day.
same. I left school with no qualifications except pottery and art class. I did an access to university course at college and I struggled at college and in my final year at uni they discovered I was dyslexic, 7 years later I went back to uni to do trading where I was diagnosed with ADHD. my girlfriend was diagnosed with autism and I checked most of the boxes that she did. I am fed up being shit at everything, it's eating away at my soul.
Lia! You spoke right to me. I was diagnosed my senior year of college and went through the same feelings. I wish so badly I would have sought help earlier bc my gpa suffered and I basically just had to finish up. I’m so thankful for the medication that helps me be productive and focused. I struggled with feeling unintelligent bc at one point I was “smart” and “understood everything”, but as the years went on I never learned how to study and began struggling in college and it was bc I couldn’t focus to study. It’s very eye opening to be diagnosed as an adult but I’m thankful for the help I got.
I’m currently in my second semester and resonate so much with this.
Didn’t have problems with schools growing up, but now in Uni it’s a different story
Im currently studying, i always had struggles with long tasks, but when I had a boyfriend he always kept me going sometimes, and its normal to fail a class sometimes.. but without him, and with corona, i failed my Bachelor thesis so terribly hard, over a period of 2 years, wasting my whole carrier.. that i now also have an appointment for adhd :D But im still scared that i am making this up as an excuse.. So thank you for sharing this, now i feel a little more secure
When I was a kid, I was told I was “to smart to have ADHD”, and was instead called childish, lazy, disorganized or difficult. I got diagnosed as an adult, and after that a family member of mine who’s in primary school was sent to a psychiatrist to get their diagnosis as well. And that person was told the exact same thing. They played board games with her/him and because she/he could keep up and follow the rules of the game they said it was impossible for her/him to have adhd. But she/he loves board games and can play them for hours if they let her/him. I’ve told them to seek a second opinion but after their first encounter they’re not really feeling like going through it again. Sadly a lot of the myths surrounding ADHD is still very much believed to be true. Even by professionals.
wouldnt it be wonderful if the professional were also intelligent?
adhd does hyperfocus if we are interested. so does autism.
"Too smart to have adhd" its the worst excuse for neglecting ADHD
@@asomeoneperson4608 yup. I can't count how many times my teachers said I talked to much, moved to much or didn't pay enough attention. Or telling me "You're so smart and you work so hard when you start, why do I always have to put you to work?"
for me they said I was too smart to have Autism, and I got the ADHD diagnosis around the same time can't remember if it was prior or after. He said my brain was too fast to have it. I think this speaks to the thing where they say ADHD can mask Autism, so the "too fast" was probably my ADHD. I was like 18 at the time of that test, and later at age 27 I actually got the Asperger diagnosis as well. That little misjudgement he made cost me a lot, but at least I know now. I find statements like that are very blanket, heard things like that more than once where professionals seem to think like if you got a diagnosis you need to be exactly like this or that, or not, as if these conditions are that simple, when it's much more complex and not just a checklist of traits
@@Dezzyyx hullow fellow brain from my planet : )
You didn’t make it to uni however your helping thousands , millions get the help we all needed.
Agreed. Jessica would know more than many "experts" on the treatment and diagnosis of ADHD. Self-taught and personally experienced expert, we need more people like Jess. I hope a university recognises your contributions and gives you an honorary degree one day
Yes totally agree, she's a god send
"I struggle with everything else. Smart was all I got." - Damn, that hits deeply home. I'm in University for now almost 9 years for a field that should only take about 5-6 years. And while in school I defined myself over my smarts (even skipping a grade, reading Lord of the Rings at the age of 8/9), it's so much harder in Uni. I'm feeling constantly stupid and like I haven't learned anything at all. Because it's self-disciplin and knowing which courses to take, what to learn etc, that's what I'm struggeling with so much. I'm still waiting for my ADHD diagnosis (but I'm inside the process), but even if I don't have it, THIS video hits still home
Are there any academic advisors at your uni? If you book an appointment with one, they should help go through the program you want and make a plan.
Yeah, I went to see the person who plans my unit's program. She offers appointments for students to plan studies together. I can recommend it!
Third degree attempt here, been at uni on and off since finishing high school 19 years ago. Finally getting the support I need, but will life demands its not like studying when I didn't have to stress about adult things like I do now. Hang in there, we'll get through
Hah, that reminds me of something someone else with ADHD said somewhere: "I was always the smart kid who could read at a college level in school. Then I went to college, and suddenly reading at a college level wasn't exceptional anymore..."
That's funny, I read the Lord of the Rings series at the same age but never thought of it as advanced.
I never finished high school, never mind any university but I have managed to become fairly successful in life business getting a diagnosis and treatment of ADHD a couple years ago life has gotten a lot easier
I can relate. Being one of the smarter kids made it so I wasn't diagnosed until I was 25. My worst traits is procrastination which definitely looks like laziness, but I had straight As so I could get away with it
Same! Except I got diagnosed at 21 and it was only because my mom had suggested I had it a few times over the years because I had diagnosed siblings and she knew what the symptoms were. Honestly don't know if I ever would have gotten diagnosed if it weren't for her.
procrastination is the worst part of my ADHD too.
@@ThatOneLadyOverHere it goes to show how important it is to have parents and biological family and not have them taken away.
@@jhsevs Ideally, yes, that's why the foster care system prioritizes keeping families together and it's not until absolutely necessary that they put the children up for adoption. Adoption is still a beautiful thing though and adoptive parents can be really good at figuring out what their non biological children need.
I had major depressive and anxiety disorder while In school, due to.. well, a lot more factors than need be stated in a RUclips comment, but I always wonder what I'd be capable of if only my intelligence had been nurtured from an early point. If I'd felt emotionally stable could I have used my knowledge for the betterment of the world?
This so true! I am 75yrs old and it stills haunts me. I am soooo tired of "You are not living up to your potential! " 😡 " You are just LAZY"
This made me ugly cry, I’ve been struggling so much with my ADHD and being pregnant. So many things in this video hit home very hard and I’ve been trying to learn more about my ADHD. I was sitting with my sister watching something educational and it dawned on me, I said so you mean I’m not stupid I just needed to be taught differently? She said you’ve never been stupid. 🥺
Awwwwwwww, I love her response! But this is so relatable... for the longest time I thought I was just stupid except in the small areas where I felt smart, then I was smart. Then I had a similar realisation... and my friends and family said similarly to your sister.
We just have to find ways to work with our brain rather than against it
So glad she was there with you to voice that wonderful truth. *Hugs if you want them
❤❤❤❤
Pregnancy really collided with my depression and ADHD. If you ended up with post partum depression, you are not alone. Just keep an eye out when our hormones do flips, it tends to make other symptoms either lessen or increase.
How are you and your baby? I hope you're doing well 💖
When I was young, my mom asked about getting me tested for adhd because I was so easily distracted and "spacey" but they refused to test me because of my gifted status at school. I eventually had to drop from the gifted program because I couldn't handle the classes without accommodations for time management or organization, even though the actual content level was perfect.
That's devastating. I'm so sorry you had to endure this. I also didn't get considered for ADHD because I "did well in school" despite the fact me doing well in school came with overwhelmed meltdowns. Sending hugs! Unless you don't like hugs then sending kittens instead! ( Kitten!: c.tenor.com/bK1qpWGyQKkAAAAd/kitty.gif )
@@HowtoADHD In my case, getting tested ( and proved positive ) is what got me into gifted programs. I was also the one who decided something was wrong and that I wasn't like my peers. In two weeks I was completely another student according to those who knew me well.
I was an underachieving overachiever. "Can't stay on task" and "not living up to her potential" were the most frequent comments on my report cards starting around 2nd grade. My grades were just good enough that I was seen as lazy and distracted, always skirting under the radar. I was labeled gifted at 9, so I was underperforming for effectively my entire education and was blamed each and every time I couldn't live up to expectations. And it still took another decade+ to realize my ADHD.
I was the opposite kid, I was the special ed kid that would "scare the other students" because I was bored in math so decided to invent my own algebra. This resulted in the special ed teachers saying "she's too smart to be here" and bouncing me back to the regular teacher who said "she's too disruptive and does not work well with others, and can't even read, she needs to be in special ed." Then wash rinse repeat.
I was recognized for "gifted and talented" starting in 3rd grade but didn't get diagnosed with ADHD until 27. When I started struggling in college I got guilt tripped because "you used to be a gifted kid what happened?" Like... I wasn't gifted in math and hard sciences and my brain got in the way
@@trevor_mason_reed not necessarily. They can also have discalculia, which is sort of like maths dyslexia. so then they might hate maths but love English and reading.
In school I was considered "Bright but lazy" because of my bad grades despite my participation in class. A teacher even told my mother that without "serious help" I wouldn't amount* to anything.
I'm now pursuing a JD/PhD
*Edited out a typo
Wow congrats sorry you endured that
Oooouch, I so wish people would stop using lazy :( But look at you go!! Best of luck with your JD/PhD -- that's awesome!!
@@HowtoADHD yeah, i was just talking about this with my mum, how "laziness" is actually a problem to which a lot of things contribute, like motivation, interest, and all other "motivating factors"
I got told that I wouldn't pass my GCSES and start looking at apprenticeships this was years ago and now looking back the apprenticeship would have been better suited to my learning style.
“You have so much potential, if only you’d apply yourself.” One of the most discouraging sentences ever spoken.
I was identified as ‘gifted’ at a very young age but struggled in so many ways. Despite being in AP classes throughout high school, I was also asked why I was so lazy. I’d forget deadlines, failed to read textbook assignments, and usually did assignments the night before they were due. Heck, I read Ulysses in 12 hours and aced the test the next day. As usual, your content hits home. Thank you for being so open with us. You’re making a huge difference in my life as well as that of my husband.
My daughter got into the gifted program, and diagnosed with ADHD this school year. The testing she did to get into gifted was full of people saying how it took her a long time to get to the answer, but she always got to the right answer. She so often gets answers wrong only because she read too fast, or the questioned created a pattern that 1 didn't fall into. Which was me as a kid. But I was never diagnosed. I just got a lot of, you are the smartest kid in my class, you just need to learn how to pay attention. So it was always my fault I got Cs. But I still kept passing.
I can relate. I half-assed a lot of assignments and tests because of the time limit. I *know* I can do better but I hate that there is a "time limit to express your intelligence" attitude tied to schools. As a very anxious person I also need a lot more alone time to be able to digest and absorb assignments. The school system really failed me as an individual.
One of the hard things is growing up in an environment where you have that support or scaffolding around you, but invisibly, so that you don't recognize the impairments (and never received a diagnosis because you are doing well). And then, when you are older and on your own, without those supports, you're left without having built up the necessary skills to support yourself. And it leaves you wondering why you're having such a hard time as an adult when you were considered gifted as a child.
You just described me exactly...
I was apart of the Georgia special education program called GNETS. They locked me and other children in isolation cells for being to hyper. I had to deal with that for so many years I dropped out of school on the 9th grade and ended up in prison a couple years later. Special needs kids never got the help they needed in our schools.
This is way too relatable, heard that from both teachers and my parents, and it’s always painful to hear😅 thank you for making this video!
Awwwwww I'm sorry to hear you had to hear that! It's not fun. 🧡 Thanks for watching though!
Show them this video, it might wake them up
I’m 36 I got diagnosed with ADHD a year ago. My new psychiatrist, who actually listened rather then throw meds at me, cried when she heard what my school experience was like. I performed horribly in school, with an IQ of 136.
I was gifted in every subject except cooking, independent living, and basically every subject involving practical life skills. I worked so hard for three years trying to get into a good school, only to fumble at the application process like you. I'm doing "well" in college right now, but I can't drive or cook or advance my career or make friends, help.
EDIT: "I thought I didn't need accomodations because I was smart." How is this video so true
EDIT 2: Four months later and I finally realized I misspelled "accomodations," wow
I did great at school, but when I got married in my 20s my new husband was shocked at how much I struggled to do all the life skills: cook, drive, schedule appointments, call people, etc.
Luckily for me he set out to teach me until I could get by myself, which took a LOT of patience and perseverance. These things are still not my strengths, but finally having someone take my struggles seriously means I can now function without fighting existential dread of life skills every day.
I can't drive either because I haven't gotten around to contacting a driving school. I'm 25. The driving age in my country is 18. It can be hard to find a job if you're an adult who can't drive. I can get by though because I'm a student and live in a city. I'm occasionally late because of messing up with busses but apart from that, it's not a huge obstacle for me. If I were to drive, I would probably still be late. And I'm starting to wonder if that would be a safety risk to always drive in a hurry and with inattentive brain.
Strengths and impairments do not cancel each other, thank you for pointing that out! The pointy profile shows the actual picture - that looks far different from someone being average, but having areas where support is needed, and other areas where extraordinary strengths can be found.
I didn’t expect to get so emotional watching this video. I was the kid that did amazing on standardized tests, and until 7th grade I was an A student. I was also constantly catching myself daydreaming and missing entire chunks of what the teacher was talking about. I also used to run in circles constantly. If we were at one of my brother’s games I’d be behind the bleachers running in circles. At home I’d either go outside and run circles around the house or I’d run circles around the dining room table. My entire sense of self was the smart kid who school came easily to, so once school became less easy and eventually very difficult, I felt like there was something wrong with me because I was struggling.
This one really hits hard. I have been asked so many times through my life why I didn't just do the easy thing, when I literally couldn't. Realizing this when reflecting over the last year is the biggest reason I finally decided to get an assessment for ADHD. It's so frustrating looking back and thinking about how much more I could have accomplished in the last 30+ years if the difficulties I was having hadn't been written off as laziness.
Literally the same here. It wasn't until after I found this channel that it clicked that I needed to get an adhd assessment.
Same. I’m in my 40s. I have two degrees. I work for one of the top universities in the world. You’d think I’d be satisfied. But I’m surrounded by the best of the best and I’m aware I’m very much not reaching my potential. I know what I’m capable of but somehow I’m not achieving it. despite having had my dream job for 13 years, I spend every day doubting my abilities, hating myself, scared I’ll be found out for being a failure etc. Thank goodness for a recent change of boss to someone who is up to date with these sorts of issues and is prepared to work with me to improve things. I should be enjoying the privilege of having this job m I’ve certainly worked hard enough for it. But instead I’m always so tired I just want everything to go away.
These videos and the comments sections are a life line.
Same, this channel has made me realize I should tell my parents that I think I have ADHD, but I can’t even make myself do that. Heh.
Yep, I had a lot of this growing up. I made "careless mistakes", needed "more effort", and apparently had a "bad attitude". Turns out I'm not only ADHD, but Autistic. I got in trouble all the time and had no clue what I did wrong. Sometimes, I even got in trouble just for sitting there. Apparently, my face has some kind of look to it that somehow looks like disobedience 🙄
SAAAAMMMEEEEE!!!! From the beginning to the very end about the face.😂😂
And I still can't believe how they never suspected me for both ADHD/ASD when they're so obvious. 😩
hullow my people!!!!! : )
big hugs!!! if you like hugs not if you don't.
OMG I ONCE GOT IN TROUBLE WITH A TEACHER “FOR MY FACE” bc apparently i looked angry/like i wasnt respecting her. rbf lol. called her out on it though. “you mean you have a problem with how i look? cuz i cant really change that. my face is my face”
@@mireille0115 i checked in the mirror, when i thought i was making a really intense, mean face... blank. other times, my face gets hyperactive and talks more than my mputh does....and then my hands join in.
omg so many teachers were like "why are you looking at me like that" "don't furrow your brow at me!" and I was literally just sitting there
"You're really smart. If only you would just try harder." I will never forget how often I heard those words in school.
So glad to be past that stage in life and having learned how to be successful with the skills I have.
Thank you for making these videos! They bring to light what is unseen in how some of us experience this world.
This is a great breakdown, thanks for this. I was a very smart kid and for the most part an excellent student, because I was running on overdrive to compensate for my entire academic career. When I hit my senior of high school, I was burned out and didn’t do very well in the classes that weren’t interesting to me like AP calculus. I had run out of steam and the forceful energy I used to push through wasn’t there. My classmate told me it was “kind of a joke” that I was in AP calc, which was devastating. I knew I was smart enough to learn it, but I just couldn’t get it done. The content you’re producing is helping a lot of adults like me understand their childhoods.
Thank you so much for such a sweet comment 🧡 And I'm so sorry to hear about the struggles you've gone through! But it's great that you're here, trying to learn more about yourself. 😊 Glad we can be apart of your mental health journey!
I was in Long course Mathemathics in upper secondary school / prep school too, and it was a rollercoaster of A's and F's for me (and lots of barely-below-average grades). One year I was really afraid of the professor because at the beginning of every class, she would pass around a notebook where you had to cross how many homework exercises you had done. I would often draw one or two half crosses because I couldn't finish the exercises, and she would look at me with judgement and demand I need to do them, in front of the whole class. Then I would skip class because I would be humiliated either way, and fall further behind...
My parents always encouraged me with Math and I felt like I was gifted in it, but. When being gifted started to not be enough, my wreck of a sleep schedule started to eat me up. I honestly felt like a joke in my friend group. I could blend in with the smart kids but I could not put in the work. I was always fighting falling asleep in class, or overcaffeinated, or both. I became the clown to cope. Don't know how I'm gonna survive uni without friends to joke about myself to. (And tutoring me. And studying in the café with me.) I forgot how much they really meant to me back then. I hope the pandemic ends soon.
I feel like apologising for sharing this heavy-sounding stuff, but I'm not sure.
@@raapyna8544 no need to apologize! And you will do great, I just know it. I’m sorry you had that experience, that sounds truly awful. At uni, I know you can find new friends and maybe even some neurodivergent friends who will understand! Make sure to find out how to go about getting accommodations if your school offers that. And keep coming back to spaces like this for support and resources. You can do it, you can find your way. I believe in you!
I won the "Absent Minded Professor Award" and "Most likely to forget his head if not attached to his body" awards in Middle school FROM THE STAFF(!!!). These were hard copy award certificates signed by the administration. Different time back then. I'm glad teachers are more aware and likely to refer the student to the School Psychologist.
😳 that’s awful. I’m sorry you had to endure that.
This hits so close to home. My favorite example was this was a math placement test. I did really well, but my teacher suggested to my parents that I not go to the highest level, as I would do the complicated stuff right, get distracted, and say 2+2 was 5. Totally the right call. 🤣
This is so my youngest kid... He is 8 and can multiply negative numbers but fails at counting because he gets distracted and loses track.
Ugh yes. I love calculus (after a year of pounding at it, it suddenly beautiful) and I can't count!
God damn this hits so hard. Having teachers and my parents telling me I was intelligent but not prepared to put in the work. When in reality I struggled with focusing and organization. This makes complete sense. My only grievance, and something that made me mad as hell, was I was good at music/learning instruments. But no one ever brought that up, or made enough of a deal about it, to see I was gifted in this area. No. I was horrific at math and science, and that overshadowed, and crowded out everything else. What o wouldn't have given to know this, back then.
Hey, I never comment on things, and I never see videos so early! But I just want you to know how beneficial your channel has been for my personal growth over the last three years. I have struggled with my adult ADHD (and getting proper help for it) my entire academic career, and I have recently been diagnosed with comorbid autism which has added a whole new layer to my challenges. I am almost finished with my masters, but it has taken me 8 years to get to this point, and your videos have provided me with starting points for further research to approach my therapists with appropriate information to understand the best way to manage my symptoms. So basically, I just want to say thank you. I really, really appreciate the work you put into your channel; it has helped me out so much
We're happy to know our content has been able to help you along in your mental health journey! And great job getting to where you are now, because we may have provided some helpful information but you're the one that put in all the work. 🧡
- Harley, Community Manager
Wait how can autism be comorbid? Doesn't it have to be a threat to your life/health to be comorbid?
this is the most i’ve ever related to a video! i almost always got the highest marks in my classes but was almost universally hated by teachers and ignored by professors. i’ve had multiple authority figures at school express shock that not only was i not failing, but i was achieving almost perfect grades.
i’ve been thinking a lot about this and how my intelligence and high achievements in school/academia are partly due to masking adhd - since i couldn’t listen in class, i had to learn to teach material to myself, and since i couldn’t study normally, i would excessivelyyy and unhealthily study, motivating myself via punishment and unhealthy coping mechanisms.
i was only diagnosed in the fourth year of my PhD!!! i really hope the stereotype of adhd and bad grades is reduce so no other students have to have the same path as me
this actually what made me have a lot of problems in my journey to getting diagnosed with adhd. because my psychiatrist immediately dismissed the possibility of adhd in the first 7 mins of talking just because i had really good grades in primary school even though i told her i was struggling so hard in college. i got so freaking depressed after that because it made me question myself and how i was just lying to myself and making excuses. thankfully i found you channel and it made me fight forward and i got a psychiatrist second opinion. so thank you from the bottom of my heart
I was always considered exceptional in reading, in music, and in acting...and a dismal failure in the old school academics (math, science). I've spent a lifetime (I'm 43) inundated with the "How can you be failing? You're so smart!" litany, and the best answer I could give was...a shrug and a "I know. I'm sorry." Now I'm trying to sort out how to get the help I and my partner need (I'm pretty sure I'm ADHD, and he's undiagnosed Autistic), but holy cow so much to consider (and cost). I find an intense amount of value in each of your videos, but every time I watch one, I'm like, "Yep, that's me. Yep, that's me. Oh look, that's me again." *_sigh_*
Thank you for helping me understand that I'm not broken. This channel is a blessing.
(Sidebar: is it okay to hope I have ADHD? It might seem really wonky to want something many would consider a disability, but I feel if I _was_ diagnosed with ADHD, it would make so much sense. I just want to feel normal.)
Yes it’s okay to want that because it would validate your experiences. It’s so liberating to know that weird thing I do really is a *thing* that has been studied and classified because there are so many other people just like me! I hope you’ve been able to get your diagnosis in the 2 years since your post. But if not, it’s never too late, so go for it! ☮️
Part of the problem is that some schools refuse to acknowledge ADA accommodations because they're expensive. I dealt with this as a kid, and my nieces deal with it.
The Ironworks, it's so sad that some schools won't acknowledge ADA accommodations just because they are expensive. Those schools need to plan and allocate the proper amount of money to those in the budgeting. their non planning is harmful to others in this instance as it is violating the law. Those schools refusing to acknowledge the ADA accommodations are a form of discrimination on disability. Not all disabilities are immediately obvious as we ADHD brains and hearts know.
@@92RKID try not to attack the schools or teachers. Attack the states that don’t support students properly. More needs to be done at the activism level.
@@azlizzie you are right. It isn't the teachers themselves. The states need serious prodding to be made to look at how they are hurting others with it. What if it was the people in charge of such planning, whose own child was among those who need the accommodations that they refuse to acknowledge are required? Would those people rather their child be discriminated against and suffer?
Teachers not understanding that - have shaped my School life so hard. I had to fight for some more minutes in tests to court in my teenage years. I had so a hard time not to believe "youre too smart, you cant have dyslexia and like reading or play theater or have good grades" You described it very well - I was punished for compensats too well, beeing too good. My needs and internal struggel with words were necgletet to a point, where I didnt believe myself that I am struggeling and fighting harder for the grades than other "gifeted" people.
- Thanks for this community, thanks for this support for me a german dyslexic (depressed) woman. There are so many similarties with my struggels amd youre abd ADHD struggels that your videos and this understanding community are helping me so much!
I got flashbacks to my math teacher asking me “how are you getting the highest test scores in my class but still failing?” And honestly I couldn’t answer that question other than I did NOT like homework. I use to do it as a kid but in highschool, it really dropped off for me. I failed a class in 7th grade and another in high school and had to attend summer school and stay after school to make those grades up. Frankly I didn’t mind doing that extra stuff because I didn’t have to do the same work that I really did in class. I wanted to get good grades and I KNEW the material as it showed on tests, but it was so hard to keep up with all the other stuff. The more videos I watch of yours, the more I resonate with symptoms and hardships of ADHD. My brother also struggled in school with grades but is very smart. My mom never believed ADHD was “real” so it never dawned on her to get us seen by a professional for this disorder. My mom also exhibits a lot of symptoms that I now realize as an adult. I know therapy and getting a diagnosis is expensive so I’ve held off on it. Also, with military health insurance, it’s harder for a spouse or dependent of the active duty personnel to get seen for mental health issues. It felt almost impossible to get seen for PHYSICAL health issues. I hope I can get in sooner rather than later and get some professional help. These videos bring to light a lot of my symptoms but also act as a proxy for therapy for now. If I’m aware of the issue, I’m one step closer to actively being able to accommodate. Thank you for your channel. 💖
I'm struggling to get my 2e kids the support they need, and personally didn't realize that I had ADHD until adulthood, so this is hitting hard. Like, I'm sorry that kiddo is acting out. Yes, I know he's fully capable of all the academic subjects, which is why he's bored.
Math & Science:
He's not doing his homework. He's slow. Put him in special education.
English:
He's not participating in class. He doesn't do anything. He's failing. Put him in special education.
He's a brilliant genius. Get him out of my special education class.
Haven’t even watched this yet but god damn I feel that title.
Same, it hurts
Same :/
I recently got diagnosed with ADHD and ended up applying for DSA for University. I didn't realise how much support I would need until I was answering the questions. I felt like I didn't need support beforehand as that was just 'how I was' and I was 'doing okay' in all of my subjects. I've now realised that 'doing okay' isn't good enough and that I need to accept the support rather than push it away.
I'm twice exceptional and didn't get any support for a long time, and it really impacted the way I saw myself growing up. I grew up knowing that I'm gifted but not knowing that I have ADHD, which made my parents' struggle to get support for my giftedness even more challenging. The main argument that the school used against me skipping a grade to help address my giftedness was that I wasn't "mature" because of my meltdowns/anger management issues and that skipping a grade would keep me from being able to socialize properly. (They ignored the fact that the reasons I was having such a hard time emotionally were directly tied to my boredom, intense bullying, general difficulty relating to kids my own age, and hormones to add a bit of spice during puberty.)
My parents pulled me out of public school so I could start school online, and that helped a lot. I didn't have to deal with the bullying, I was actually challenged for the first time, and I could go at my own pace. Although we didn't know about my ADHD until I was in grad school, getting support for my giftedness helped. Looking back, we wish we would've recognized my ADHD sooner so I could've gotten support for that as well, but my parents did the best they could with the information they had and fought tooth and nail to address the needs that they knew I had.
Last week, while doing some cleaning, I found a project for school from 2nd grade that had some scathing teacher’s notes. Education in 1970 wasn’t really aware of anything in this video, because I dealt with all of this way back then. I have only realized I have ADHD in the past few years, and it’s been so helpful, even without the official diagnosis. This channel has been a big help, too, so thanks, Jessica, for helping all of us feel seen.
This video hits hard. I repress a lot of memories from growing up, and this helps me contextualize and understand what was really happening. I was told by multiple teachers that I should be in the "gifted student" classes, but I didn't qualify because my grades were too low and I regularly handed in work late. I regularly fell asleep in class, especially in high school and university, despite trying to stay awake so hard. In college, I could only sustain A-level effort for a week or two before accepting that "C's get degrees". My giftedness kept me from being recognized and getting help with ADHD, and my ADHD kept me from hitting my "gifted" potential. I was average, but working so much harder because I actually wasn't.
This is so me, I constantly had an A in classroom participation but D or worse in any written exam because I just can't structure my thoughts in a way that makes sense to others... But because I did stuff in class so effortlessly people assumed I was bored and careless and lacking empathy (I often got "you need to write for other people and mention the things you think are obvious too").
This hits me where I live. In college I have been both on the Dean's list and on academic suspension. Once covid started, everything went online and I was academic probation to suspend for four terms in a row. I'm in my senior year now. Last term (Winter 22) was the first term I got a passing GPA (3.57) and a large part that was recognizing I had ADHD. I'm on track graduate this term, but it's still been quite the adjustment. Finding this community has literally been life-changing for me.
Cause I thought these are not just personal struggles that only I deal with. Knowing that others deal with this is tragic but it definitely makes it feel less lonely.
Growing up as a kid on with ADHD on Autism spectrum, I felt this so much! I did really well in school until highschool since I was at smaller schools with more oversight towards students from teachers. Then, all of the sudden, I was expected to do it all on my own in highschool, and barely managed to graduate. It certainly didn't help that I loved learning and went to a school where the culture was to treat it like garbage, so all the teachers assumed I was like everyone else and just not trying. At the same time, all my peers saw I *was* trying and I was mostly shunned.
I now know something about teaching and the process to become a teacher and I'm surprised that despite what we know about the science of learning, most teachers are still unaware that students can be 2e! I wish I could go back in time and show this video to my teachers, but I hope people show this to teachers now and that the situation improves.
You really hit the nail on the head for me. I was in “gifted” classes and had an incredibly similar situation. My teachers and parents all seemed to expect me to understand how not to fidget or daydream, and told me I just needed to apply myself without even telling me what that meant. I was nine, and very likely have ADHD (thanks to my current therapist for helping me realize that possibility!), yet the feedback I constantly got was that I wasn’t doing enough, which just made me feel even worse when I didn’t perform to their expectations. I didn’t understand how to, and felt like it was ridiculous for me to ask. I also assumed these were just things I was supposed to know somehow at age nine.
Thank you for this channel. It honestly helps contextualize some of the horrible things I thought about myself and helps me realize things I should be asking about and what I should be advocating for myself for.
I was discouraged from applying for any kind of college or university because I struggled to maintain a C average in school and my issues were chalked up to me not being smart or caring about the end result. So, I went to vocational school for a career was in fact very excited about, but a college degree would have set me up for both that career and one moving forward when that industry began to collapse due to changes in technology. I did not have the support and in many ways I am still seen as that teenager that just couldn't seem to keep things organized and together enough to succeed. At 50 it's really frustrating and depressing.
I've been struggling a lot with being a so-called "smart yet bad student" recently, more than usual, so this video came at the right time. Thank you!!
I legit had an IQ test done in my late teens/early 20's (I forget which); I was declared both a genius AND the medical definition of low-IQ - in the same test. Genius spatial perception, low-IQ in organizational skills, and all over the place in other areas.
Talk about balance in all things, huh? 😅 (Also hi Legacy!) When you got these results back, did it help answer any questions for you? Or did it leave you feeling more confused? (Of course you don't have to answer if you don't wish to!
Oh yes! I always was called „stubborn“, because I was very good at things I liked, but could never focus on everything else (and therefore refused to bother with that).
Ooooooof, this is so relatable too
I clicked on the title and I was like omg I hear that all the time, thanks for explaining :)
I recently started to think of my "gifted" status as another disability. It masks my struggles until i absolutely had to study, causing me to need that support at highschool while highschool was like "lol you had 9 years to learn how to study by now, tough luck"
By college, I knew that I was very smart and a gifted writer. So I knew that writing an essay would never be that difficult for me (content or style-wise). I was also well acquainted with the boost from last minute adrenaline. So just about every paper I wrote was started less than 24 hours before it was due. Most of the time the strategy worked well enough. I got a lot of Bs. But I always wonder how many As I might have been able to get if only…
Still beating myself up missed potential from 20 years ago
This is too relatable. ADHD and gifted, I was always able to test well, above 90%, so I was put into advanced classes, but I could not do homework, because of all the distractions, I was c average student, and only because of tests. Luckily I was in a state that had a college program for high tests scores so I was guaranteed admission to any state school. But without that I'd have never made it into a college program.
You just described my childhood! My folks were Military so we move around a lot. So I would be in a Gifted course in one school and then in a Remedial course in another school.
There are different types of intelligence and one is not better than another. For example scholastic achievement will not help you in a rough neighborhood.
I will also recommend going to college if you want to. There are Disability Offices there, that said you need to be proactive and work with them ahead of the semester and ask for help from them and the instructor. For someone with ADD or ADHD, you will get more out of college in your 20s, 30s or even 40s. It may take you longer but when you graduate, you graduate.
I remember being put into the slowest math class available, due to my underpreformance. I was so miserable. I literally filled my time with tutoring the other students because it was so easy for me.
Yet when I asked to be switched to a faster class, my teacher just pointed at my grades.
That I think was the very first time I didn't have words to describe or argue back my point. The grades were there. They showed what I was really capable of. Apparently.
I am in tears right now. Both of my sons are twice exceptional. The 6th grade son has received EC services since 1st grade. He qualified for the gifted program in 2nd grade, but his “behavior” (inability to self-regulate and focus) disqualified him from participating in the gifted program. My 3rd grade son began receiving EC services in 2nd grade and he too qualified for the gifted program as well. Because of his ability to self-regulate, he was accepted into the program. He’s had a hard time staying on task and focusing, but when prompted and accommodated, he is completing assignments and thriving. My husband was also diagnosed with ADHD as an adult and gifted as a child. School was hard for him because everyone thought he had “so much potential” and was smart, so he should be able to perform “better” than he was. Jessica, your videos continue to teach me so much and offer hope! Thank you for sharing your research with us! ❤️
Can sure relate to this. I always got, "you're smart, you just need to apply yourself". 58 and still undiagnosed.
This hits SO close to home. I was diagnosed with ADHD last year and I've been told my whole life that I was lazy, distracted, that I had potential and it was a shame that I didn't put in enough effort, etc. Back in high school I didn't know what ADHD was or any of its symptoms like impulsivity or executive disfunction and how that reflected on short answers in questionnaires or exams and having trouble turning in some tasks in time. I ended up believing I was a bad student and that something was wrong with my brain and no one ever wondered if there was something beyond that struggle, just that I was really good at English and literature and that was it. It's the thing that has caused me more mental health problems and it has been frustrating learning that so recently and practically at the end of my "student life".
We need to remember that we are not lazy, we just need some help with certain things and to have people be more aware of the existence of neurodivergency.
This video felt like a warm hug to me, thank you so much for it and for your channel. 💖
It feels so backhanded when they say this😂
It _is_ backhanded 💀
Like most other comments, this hits really close to home.
I’m 23 and in college right now, and I only finally got diagnosed at around 21.
I remember when I found out what ADHD was in about 7th grade, after struggling for years with the usual adhd inattentive issues. I was very smart/advanced, but I could not do my homework on time to save my life.
My parents and teachers kept assigning me tutors or homework coaches, but for me that’s not the issue. People treated me (and still do) like I need to get more organised, be less lazy, etc. Just because I haven’t done an assignment or task doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten about it! In my case, I struggle more with the procrastination/getting started part, and no one ever bothered to help me figure that out.
It’s also caused a lot of friction with my parents who don’t understand why it’s so hard for me to do some tasks (I’m adopted, so I didn’t get adhd from their genetics).
As someone who was recently diagnosed with ADHD and was labeled as a "gifted" kid, I struggled to keep my attention on this video. I heavily relate to this whole thing though and helps explain a lot of things that go on in my head. I was bullied in elementary school for being this really smart kid who was quiet unless someone strikes up a conversation and then I was practically screaming in their ear.
This is why I had to want a diagnosis without anyone else seeing it: I had potential and masked so I flew under the radar for 44 draining years. Thank you so much for this video!
Great work. I can relate to this 100% I was put into a school for gifted students then spent my high school years feeling overwhelmed and underachieving.
This was my life as a student. "So much potential." Then after at the many places I worked. "A diamond in the rough. You just need to prioritize better and don't get distracted."
I had no help. I struggled through life and relationships. I am still trying every single day.
Thank you for your videos Jess. You have been a blessing and this light of hope to help me keep trying.
Omg. I feel this so hard...
I send love to everyone who is currently struggling, anywhere along the spectrum. Hang in there! ❤❤❤
Art professor once told me "You're very talented, but your work ethic is terrible." Stung a lot, has stayed with me since then. No idea I had ADHD then.
My childhood was a constant cycle of failure, digging myself out of the hole via sheer willpower and smarts, repeat. This hit home so hard for me!
I was "lucky" enough to live with my grandmother for most of my schooling and she forced me to sit at the kitchen table and do my homework every single day the minute I got home from school. I had no choice, I had to do it. So I did exceptionally well in school on top of being naturally kinda smart (was in gifted & talented program in elementary school, honors classes in middle and high school, etc.). I moved in with my mom my last year of high school and suddenly I had to get homework done on my own. My mom worked second shift so she was just leaving for work when I got home from school. I struggled really hard to keep up but somehow managed to get As and Bs (I did drop out of AP English to avoid having to write a ton of papers and do a lot of reading though).
Then when I got to college, I failed miserably. I had to drop out. I even tried going to a community college and failed miserably there too except in the classes I truly enjoyed. I dropped out permanently and never went back. It's been 10ish years since then and I am just now realizing that I probably have ADHD. I didn't really make the connection between my failures in college, my issues regulating my emotions, my extremely messy house, etc. I just blamed myself and thought if I tried harder that I could fix everything. A year in therapy and the discovery that I probably have ADHD has helped me forgive myself for "failing" and I'm trying to learn how to work around my issues instead of beating myself up when I struggle.
Fairly certain this is me. When I was diagnosed at 30 yo, I was so taken aback as I never considered ADHD was the cause for my struggles. My dad and brother have ADHD hyperactive and struggled with academics, and I graduated Summa Cum Laude in college and didn’t experience visible challenges until life got harder as I got older. I was a solid B and sometimes C student in high school, but in college I soared because I was taking classes I was interested in all centered on creative strengths. This is such good information for me to come to terms with my diagnosis, so thank you!
This is the story of my life. 😬 I was seen as the smart kid in school and no one really cared that I was a 'bad student' because I got good grades. Outside of school, I was great at applying myself with certain hobbies (which I now realise was hyperfocus) and I think that gave a false impression that I had my sh*t together. Everyone always talked about how I would go far in life (newsflash... I didn't lol 🤦♀️).
But the problem is I never learned to organise myself, make decisions, get stuff done, etc. I got zero guidance or support for my mental health. Looking back, I was really struggling to function, but I don't think anyone realised it to be honest.
So when I became in charge of my own life after high school, boy... things went downhill FAST.
Thank you so much for this video!!!! Now that my giftedness has "faded", its product (a PhD) is the biggest obstacle to getting the help I need to just be an average adult.
I was a gifted kid (similar to you, I was reading at a high school level or higher by 2nd/3rd grade) until I started college. I didn't realize I needed accomodations until my last 2 years of college and even then it was for "test anxiety" and I got extended test time. Now I know that taking longer to process the exam questions is ADHD and not so much test anxiety. I wasn't diagnosed until about 2 years after I graduated and looking back, there were so many more accomodations that would have been helpful for me if only I'd known I had ADHD.
"I believe in you, ergo, I don't think these difficulties will stay hard for long" -my grad advisor in response to me explaining specific problem points I cannot avoid and will likely struggle with forever.
2e doesn't stop being a problem in education, training, and professional fields, no matter how high you reach, sadly, but I'm glad I have the community to help me know that it's not my fault when things are harder than they should be.
Growing up in elementary, all my teachers said I “could be” gifted but I just never turned in my classes on time so they were worried I’d never prove it in my grades. It wasn’t until middle school when I officially got my diagnosis that I ended up in AP or Pre AP classes. But I still got the “she has so much potential” comment regardless
Thank you so very much for this channel. I was recently diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 55. The thing about being punished for your weaknesses as a child is that it leads to punishing yourself when you're older. My diagnosis, and channels like this, made me realise 1/ it's not my fault, and 2/ I can stop punishing myself. But the social stigma is a bit harder to lose.
This really helped me understand what's going on with me. I'm going to show this to my teachers in school so they can understand me better. I was diagnosed autistic this year but my symptoms are really close to adhd and that is what we suspected first. I have always been well spoken and good writer. I also always have been above average in reading comprehension. I also have special interest in crafts so I can do a lot of things with crochet and knitting. That also makes me creative. 😊 On the other hand I have never been good in math. I am graduating high school this year and my math level is below freshman. I still dont understand % calculations other than pie models. That has always made me seem odd in class as I have never been good at being with people my age. I have always preferred adult company or being with the youngest kids. Most of my friends are still not same age as me. Also with being from a small town everyone knows everyone and the fact that I am the odd ball makes it impossible to make friends now. Luckily I'm going to college next fall. 😊
This really hits home as my child definitely falls into 2e. We support them as much as possible to keep on task with both schoolwork, extracurricular and everyday tasks. Thanks for sharing information, now we just need a way to figure out how to manage together :)
I love watching videos here as a person who didn’t get diagnosed until adulthood, because it finally gives me the words to what I’ve been feeling/experiencing my whole life. Thank you!
This is exceptional content and I needed this. I struggled for years to get medication after it was considered that I "didn't need it" since I didn't struggle in high school. Same in my college work, it took me until my last semester of my undergrad to seek accommodations because I figured I didn't need them before why did I need them now? I still struggle, but this video helped to put into words something I have struggled to say for years.
I'm undiagnosed, my son is diagnosed, watching these videos explains a lot of my life.
I'm wondering does anyone else really struggle with more simple questions in assignments, yet find it much easier to answer more complex questions?
I’m crying. This hits so many places . Thank you so much for making this video. I’m a gifted student that was always at the bottom of the class and always just barely passed my math and science classes.
Now, I manage my own hotel and won a global award for my research about managing a hotel during the pandemic. I learned all this because I finally went to a school that recognized the different kinds of intelligence.
Subscribed to Patreon, checking out Wondrium. Thank you so much for this video 🙏🏽
I really wish there were better terms than "gifted" and "twice exceptional". Something more neutral sounding rather than mostly positive. Those terms make them sound better than they actually are. Everyone wants their child to be gifted (which is understandable. _I_ want my future children to have strengths in many areas in their lives) without considering the consequences for it. Also, it makes it hard to discuss that I fit in both of those with other people without sounding like a pretentious git.
_"Oh, I have such a hard life! I'm both gifted _*_and_*_ twicely exceptional! Poor me!"_
If I didn't know what these terms imply beforehand, I would be rolling my eyes so hard at this statement.
God, this felt really reassuring to hear. I wasn’t allowed to be assessed for the gifted & talented program in elementary despite being hyperlexic because I was in special ed for math & autism. I got booted out of assistance as soon as I hit middle school (since I “seemed normal now”.. hint: I was not), and finally allowed into the gifted English program in 8th grade while I struggled in nearly every other class. I did better in high school because of the flexible project based school & a good friend group that supported me (literally all of us were neurodivergent), but as soon as it came time to try for college I totally flopped. I’m in my mid 20s now, unemployed and struggling as all hell while my mom praise-berates that “I’m an artistic and intelligent badass who just needs to get my shit together”. Resenting my school treatment isn’t the most helpful thing, but... I feel really heartened to have a video like this that I can show her later. Maybe this will help us cooperate in finding a way to help me move forward.
Just because I have gifts and skills doesn’t negate the fact that I am very much Autistic & ADHD. I *can* do awesome things, but I *need* the support. Full stop. It’s a necessity.
Daaaang. A confession: I often hesitate to click these videos because I'm worried that it's going to take me all day to deal with the emotional weight of these topics. But I'm always glad I clicked. This is SO helpful in understanding my school experience and in remembering how to best support my son. Thank you.
Wow what an amazing video! Really hit home for me being in both special education for reading and math, and gifted classes for science! Thank you for making this!!😁❤️
Side note: I love the idea of being aware of misinformation online! Just make sure you check out who is telling you how to spot it, realize they have their own and their donors agenda at play as well. Unfortunately IREX isn’t a reliable unbiased source of information either. Stay sharp everyone 🧐
Potential started feeling like a dirty word after a while… I only got diagnosed last year at 32. I wish I could hug kid-me and tell her that it’s not her fault and someday we’ll get help instead of disappointed looks.
This explains so much of my childhood. Growing up, teachers always assured my parents that I was gifted and smart, but that I couldn't apply myself. I could not sustain my attention for any appreciable amount of time, and I was extremely impulsive, so I would get in trouble at school. In middle school, the school administrators recognized that I was clearly suffering from ADHD, but Nigerian parents, generally speaking, don't understand mental health, and are scared to death of psychiatric medication.
Unfortunately, in retrospect, I can see how my development was severely hampered by my parents trepidation. I could have done much better in school and who knows how things would have turned out for me in school. Fortunately, now that I'm an adult, I have the resources to seek treatment for this condition. Very thankful to God! Thanks for this video 🙂
True I also have African parents who think this and this of me
Perfect timing on this video. I'm currently trying to sort out exactly this with my daughter's school. She has ADHD and her teacher has straight up told us her time management and attentiveness issues are going to cause problems as she moves up and workload increases. But she's also gifted, so she "isn't struggling" and because she's not failing, the school has decided she doesn't need any formal accommodations or plans. It's insanely frustrating.
Hi! Loved this video! I find comforting watching these. I am not diagnosed with ADHD but I experienced childhood trauma, and it may be due to it that I can relate to many of the issues that people with ADHD have. I also know that I'm really intelligent, but struggle to reach my potential because I often have to deal with perfectionism and procrastination, difficulty focusing, stress and/or anxiety, fear of failure and rejection... I would like to know better what my needs as a student are so I can get the support I need. Do you have any advice on that? Thanks a lot!
Hi Isabel! We do have a couple more videos based around accommodations if you're interested. I'll link them here for you:
ruclips.net/video/PM2ebKO7yYM/видео.html
ruclips.net/video/IQDFG5LaVWI/видео.html
Hopefully these help give you a place to start in terms of figuring out what accommodations might work best for you.
@@HowtoADHD thank you so much!
When I was a child, one of my classmates asked me, "How can someone who acts so dumb get such good grades?" I still struggle with feeling smart enough--or good enough, even though I'm a grandmother now.
This one hits really hard. Throughout all school i did really well. The problem was that i was not stimulated, and bored. This resulted in me skipping class for several years, and i was still able to score decent grades at tests. Because of this everyone thought i was just wasting my potential and was lazy and stupid.
This resulted in alot of problems down the line. I started to belive what everyone was saying, and found "other" ways of getting stimulated and having fun. This was through mostly drugs, and everything went downhill from there.
I was diagnosed late at the age of 23, with ADHD and Autism. This explained so much to me. Why could i not stay focused attending class. Why did i always space out. Why was homework a thing from another planet.
After i got all of these "answers" i felt a burden fall of my shoulders, and that have now helped me getting an education at the age of 30.
The problem really is that "gifted" students are not diagnosed. And this can lead to some serious complications in a young age, but definitely also as an adult. The lazy and all other stuff we hear as childs, sticks to us.
I must say. GREAT channel. I found you a couple of days ago, and have watched many of your episodes. This has helped me starting to notice some of my symptoms, and distinguish it a bit from my autism, and have gotten me thinking that i want to start up on getting some help figuring out my problems, and start working with myself instead of pleasing everyone else.
Enough of a rant. Keep up the amazing work. There are not enough information on this matter. Especially information and content that can keep a non neurotypical brain engaged.
ouch, child me feels this too much. being smart doesn’t make me NOT have adhd.
Yessss, exactly!
I often wonder how well I could have succeeded in grade school had I had the right resources and environment. (yeah, that's a run on sentence, Ms Johnson)
As smart as a kids can be, they may not be able to articulate what they need. Additionally, their struggles is their norm and they may be lead to believe nothing is wrong with their environment or resources since so many others don't have the same problem. Ugh. And parents then didn't have near the resources available nowadays.
Yes! Exactly this! The theme for my childhood was “He has so much potential. Why doesn’t he apply himself?” I wish I had been diagnosed before my early 30’s.