The Subtle Art Of NOT Caring What People Think
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- Опубликовано: 10 июл 2024
- 90% of people care too much about what other people think... This video reveals the fastest way to overcome this!
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Julien Blanc (AKA JulienHimself) is a Swiss-born, U.S.-based self-help speaker, entrepreneur and transformational coach.
Since 2010, he has been traveling around the world and has personally coached tens of thousands of clients face to face... Empowering them to create massive success in their lives!
His record-breaking programs Transformation Mastery, Transformation Mastery Live, Transformation Mastery Live Advanced, Transformation Mastery Academy & Transformation Mastery Mentoring help people around the world achieve the HEALTH, WEALTH, RELATIONSHIPS & HAPPINESS they deserve!
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The Subtle Art Of NOT Caring What People Think
How to be confident in any situation! In this video, Julien Blanc (AKA Julien Himself) reveals how to stop caring about what others think about you... This will allow you to feel confident and be confident in any social situation!
Discover how to be confident in any social situation, how to be confident around people and how to be grounded during social interactions!
#julienblanc #julienhimself
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- Stop chasing a specific person and instead do this: ruclips.net/video/DDmqrbSdzPo/видео.html
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Who is seriously addicted to this channel lately? 😂
I love this channel!!
Me too❤❤
Meee 😩
Me
but excess of everything is bad same goes for this channel
The irony of all this is that the less you care about what others think of you, the more authentic you come across and then counter intuitivley people care more about you.
I don’t think it’s so black and white. Once you achieve true self confidence you can then value what others think about you however the value from others isn’t the only thing fueling your self worth.
Yeah cuz they feeeel the change that you consciously made and really your frequency (yo energy Mayne)
@@XxKINGatLIFExX are you aware of why?
@@specialone6731 I am aware of my drive my motivating action to understand to be compassionate to be aware of awareness of your generosity your intention your energy your breathing when you get to the place that weed gets you too then you are there and you are at peace because you are connected and your connected because you are nothing and you are everything and that's duality and that's where you end once you try to start noticing when your insulting yourself because your being too harsh on yourself but it doesn't matter because it's an action but your too fixated on what you feel and not enough on what is happening in the moment your noticing your breathing your thoughts your energy your drive your motivation, if you say to yourself in your mind as a thought with any voice doesn't matter it could be multiple it could be one it's all the same because some of your negative and degrading thoughts are just you attacking and abusing yourself and your not even aware of it and that will show you and others where you are at in the journey and it will show others everything that you believe everything that you think that is a positive thought, your heart is the way your mind is the receiver and the transmitting and the message and the meaning and the watcher, now try saying everything that you see on this comment message, and replace every you and your in your head as a thought because then you'll feel at peace so try it out and let me know what you feel if you have the courage and the willingness and knowledge and knowing and awareness of everything you are sensing, if your aware of what your feeling then you can be whole unified peace peaceful, that's what I think but you may disagree with me and that okay I am me and you are you always.
@@adienbrooks8281 Yes, I believe it's down to replacing your own people pleasing behaviour with your authentic genuine self. It's scary to do this as it means you have to be willing to be rejected and outcast. Although people intuitively know when your are putting on an act to please them. That's the irony, and I think it comes down to the false upbringing in our lives where we were supposed to sit down and be quiet. We were supposed to be nice to women, we were supposed to not offend others.
Life is not a safe as this, that's why it's ironic. Because you have to make things dangerous so people feel comfortable with you and know what you truly stand for.
"Comfort zone isn't always comfortable". Real. Sometimes we're so exposed to the bad things that our mind is telling us that it's easier to feel bad, suffer and just blame ourselves than to find peace
Once, I had friends. We laughed, we shared moments, but gradually things changed. I was born into a vegetarian family, raised with values that shaped my choices-no drugs, no drinking. I found joy in simple pleasures, content with who I was.
But my friends didn’t understand. They pushed me to try things I wasn’t comfortable with. They called me boring, mocked my choices. It hurt. So, I distanced myself. At first, solitude was daunting. I missed the camaraderie, the laughter.
Yet, in that solitude, I discovered a newfound strength. I rebuilt my relationship with myself. I embraced my values, held onto my beliefs. It wasn’t easy, but I persevered.
Now, I stand tall, stronger than ever. I’ve cultivated a deep bond with myself, finding peace and happiness within. Life tested me, and I emerged resilient. I cherish this journey, grateful for the opportunity to define my own path.
Today, I radiate positivity and kindness. I’ve learned to be humble, to appreciate the beauty in every moment. My story isn’t about loneliness; it’s about growth, self-discovery, and the courage to live authentically.
@manjotsingh Your family sounds amazing and I am quite happy for you that you grew up in such a loving environment. Your friends may have been doing things that you did not want to do and at a very young age, you declined. That took such strength on your part. I would love to like solitude like you, but that is not me.
Fuck yeah keep at it , everyone should try to strive to achieve what you have acquired, I know how comforting that Peace within the inner world is.
@@user-ej3ps2xx2e hey I know that you are so sad and I know that your spirit is just craving to have you aware of it , so pay attention to what your feeling and sit with it and you'll find bliss within your own self because that will be gone and your presence of just being is enough, that's what God just told me to tell you but if none of it resonates within you then just take what clicks or what ever gives you those ah ha moments and what doesn't disregard because only you and you alone know what's best for you and what's for you, anyway I hope you have a day that only you can make happen
I was in tears for the most of this. My heart was broken and repaired several times during this video.
What a brave soul she is. ❤💝
The “you’re so stupid why do you do that again? You never change” really got to me.
Powerful ❤
I'm not perfect but my life had changed watching your videos and I'm proud of myself ❤🎉 thank you sir
Amazing to hear! Congrats on your progress so far! 🙌
Me too 👌
I've finished my therapy recently and it's really all about remembering who you are.
Julian, you were right 💜
Brought a tear to my eye. Only over-thinkers can relate to this. What a video. Thank you
❤
I think nearly everyone can relate to this!
I think the difficult part is finding what to fill the void with. When you stop letting approval from other people run your life, you have to take responsibility for giving yourself that approval. This is difficult when you're not used to thinking positive things about yourself or inferring positive things about yourself from the world esp when your beliefs about what is good and what is important are also not conducive to you being satisfied with where/who you are right now (and not your own). I'm currently in this process - trying the find ways to accept the things I felt I could not and also rewrite the beliefs I have. One example is that I think I look and probably appear very young and childlike (rather than masculine) and this makes me think I'll be less attractive to women. Even though I know it (my appearance) is something I must accept since I can't do much to change it, the actual doing of accepting something like this is very challenging and will probably take a great deal of time and commitment given that I either need to change my beliefs about what is attractive, whether I am attractive, or whether it even matters at all if I'm attractive or not...all I know is repeatedly staring at myself in the mirror doesn't change the thought I have that I do look very youthful.
When I reflect on these things, I realise deep down this is still me wanting approval from other people in a more subtle way (being attractive garners more approval). After all, approval (or lack thereof) from others gives us feedback. If we do something unattractive (e.g., pick our nose) we can learn from others that we need to change that behaviour. Whilst this is good, the trap is wanting to change every aspect of yourself and using that as a motivation to be happy rather than being content with who/where you are. On what basis, should we be happy just as we are when there's plenty we need to change? That's what I'm grappling with right now.
Julien's advice on letting go definitely helps. I've also found dissociating yourself from the you you are struggling to accept helps too (you are the internal controller/observer but the external self is not under your control and does things you don't mean). Imagine the you is actually a friend or some other person external to you. You like them despite their appearance don't you? Even if you don't, you still acknowledge and respect them. Why can't we do that for ourselves?
Amazing comment !!
Thank you for this. I have lived my life trying to do the right thing but instead have failed. I have taken the ‘easy option’ instead of pushing through difficulty and yet the last few years have been the most difficult of my life. I’ve had a mid life crisis I guess it could be seen as and some of that arises from caring too much what others have thought both in the past and still today. I’ve been working on learning about myself, pushing to be better and it’s only thanks to your work and others like you, provided for free here, that help my self work and hopefully lead me towards being in a better place. Thank you for providing this support for free to so many of us that need this. It is very much appreciated.
If no one understands you, you could try to understand yourself
Yes! You ALWAYS have "you" 🙏
Bro you're making such a positive difference in the world-thanks for your efforrs man 🙏
You're so welcome! I'm glad this resonates! 🙏
"I care about you but don't care what you think about me." I don't know why this never crossed my mind.
Bruh, Martina must be exhausted after that, great work!
It's Martyna
Why do I get shy in front people of my native land and cant express myself in my native language but I am social with people from other ethnicity.
Because that's where your early conditioning happened... 😉
Do you have an accent? Maybe you're using different parts of your brain to communicate with people of other ethnicity, you're focusing more on speaking another language, enunciating clearly, ascribing to the norms of that culture, etc etc. You're negotiating so much more in your conversations with them that you don't have time to worry about whether or not your hair looks good or you're saying something of value to them.
When you're talking to people of your own ethnicity, you worry about none of that, it's just you laid bare and your anxieties and insecurities have no distractions.
Because you are most vulnerable and the most transparent with the people who can understand you and relate to you the most. Their opinion of you is closer to your heart because they are less like strangers than other "strangers". It makes sense. You can make the choice to push through it anyways". Make a fool of yourself in front of people of your same ethnicity on purpose.
You have less attachment to them, which allows you to be more free around them. Something similar happens with some people when they have a lot of social anxiety in high school for example, they then go to college and they feel like they have a "clean start" and start to feel more open and free.
I have same thing
I aspire to be more like you, Julien. I just turned 30 and still struggle with interpersonal skills. Really frustrated with myself for letting anxiety hold me back throughout my 20s. Your content really helps. Anyway, congrats on your success brother. You deserve it.
It's so real, so many times I just think wtf is my life where I can't think and move freely how I want because I care too much what others think and don't do the things that I am supposed to do
I love these videos, seeing real emotion and seeing people get real advice that builds them up in their own power, as opposed to enforcing their feelings of lack or doubt about themselves.
You're doing transformative work! It feels so satisfying to see genuine emotion being evoked - the barriers of one's limiting having their foundations rocked.
Most important lesson for most of us watching your channel... Care for you but not your opinions.... Wow what an insight
You’re amazing man. You went deep to pull all the gems out that you do. I’ve been listening to you and Owen’s stuff so much that in moments I catch myself falling into the pit falls of your subjects (the on-stage examples you help out in front of the crowd), I can just hear your voice guiding me out the toxic spiral down. Amazing how everything all connects.
When she said, I don’t know how to value all the good things about me… that’s everything. I think this is what most people feel unless you have NPD
Well said.
I'm doing my PhD and a part time masters degree and feel lazy all the time. I've learned not to beat myself up about it but I wish I could be 100% happy with my work.
This is my favorite channel on RUclips. Seriously amazing content
Thank you for these videos. I wish I had found you years ago but now is good too. I am at a major life change, starting a full time school at 46 to better my life and your videos have been incredible. Especially the one about dabblers. I'm not even there at those events but your message is powerful enough to feel like a slap or two in my face. Thank you.
I LOVE YOU JULIEN YOU'RE SAVING MY LIFE
Thank you so much for sharing that
Changing you core believes and letting go is the key
Omg this just got to me. Thank you Julien for shedding light on things I never knew. But one thing I find difficult to understand is how can you not care about how someone thinks of you and if that someone is somebody you love and care about? For example I love my family members, thus I care what they think of me, no? I understand that you shouldn’t care with strangers and people that are not close to you.
Julien is such a gift to all of us!
How about when you hear someone talking negatively about you and not being so quick to get defensive.
You go girl..thanks for the vulnerability.
This is the stuff I need so I can break free in my newish job where I run around like an injured mouse all of the time lol
My issue is that I’m happy with myself, my appearance, I’m a good person, emotionally stable, in a relationship but it’s other people that put me down about my appearance, and try to make me feel insecure etc. and this takes up all my time mentally, going over and over what people have said to me to put me down. I feel I need therapy to help me deal with other people who actually need therapy!!! It’s consuming my life.
Tell him to F off!!! Had enough. Done with it…so done with reacting to my negative emotions. Angry an understatement. My mind is either helping or is it hindering? If hindering STOP IT…! Then visualise your goals and tell yourself you love yourself and get taking action! ❤
This is extremely powerful Julian! Thank you so much🙏 I'm going to add this to my morning motivation album and rewatch it
Well if I can say something it’s that I think she had a really efficient way to express herself, I mean, her choice of words, the way she tried to elaborate, I liked that.
How can you sit there and listen to them so carefully without judging? It is something someone can accomplish but I have never met a person who can really just sit there and listen.
You somehow can make jokes, laugh and do stuff like that but when it's time for them to open up about something related to them, you completely focus on them and only them and listen to them carefully without judging.
Sorry for writing a comment that big😅
Beautiful.
Amazing display of courage and vulnerability, Martina... ❤️
Apppathy
Grief
Fear
Anger
Courage
Desire
Purpose
Love
Thank you for this.❤
Beautiful artwork Julien! ❤
It was so helpful ❤ thank you ❤❤❤❤
It was truly amazing 👍👍👍
It wasn’t David versus Goliath, it was a pendulum
Eternally swaying from the dark to the light
And the more intensely that the light shone, the darker the shadow it casts
It was never really a battle for me to win, it was an eternal dance
And like a dance, the more rigid I became, the harder it got
The more I cursed my clumsy footsteps, the more I struggled
So I got older
And I learned to relax, and I learned to soften, and that dance got easier
It is this eternal dance that separates human beings from angels, from demons, from gods
And I must not forget, we must not forget, that we are human beings
-Ren from the song "Hi Ren"
I can honestly relate to the beautiful foreign woman with an accent. It takes guts to admit you struggle with laziness like a lot of us do
how you got yourself that level of confidence without watching your videos???
Fair question 😂
Lolll
This channel is life-changing 👌🏾Ty for your work
I want you to know that I watch you from Argentina, and I wish you came here some time
My heart is beating already
good job to the woman upstage. it takes REAL courage to be vulnerable and people respect that. I respect that deeply. people who are vulnerable and ask for help are those who GET BACK UP
Being codependent or having codependent tendencies can be a part of this too.
*Simple yet powerful ideas are always the best* 😀
Every video is having something that helping me every time l questioning my lself and want to give up in self growth.Thanks a lot💌
Hi Julien brother thank you 🎀❤️
iv been watching these videos and trying to apply it when i go into the outside world...
Solid man, how's it been going?
Nice physique btw
Don't know if it's really you who reads the comments Julien but just wanted to say thanks. Today, I tried the assertiveness tip you gave to her and it has worked. Was not easy but remembered you said it will be sneaky to survive so still said "NO I DON'T CARE SHUT UP".
I’m hooked
I am bad at self discipline and keeping in touch too girl
Amazing video...❤
Thank you!
robin williams not will smith lmao
🙃
This is so inspiring ❤
We are almost there most people are just not aware yet and that's okay they'll get there in due time it's their responsibility and I am mine
This video is so good. I have exactly the same as her. I am so tired of it!
She’s so gorgeous
The worst case scenario that bothers me is they thinking that I'm going crazy or insane and that's making my mind goes blank and i dont even know what to do and how to act normally when this scenario pops up in my mind.
27:40 stron lioness
Hi julien i remember you post about body pain trauma. And one of the ways to relase trauma is to feel. For example being shirtless so that you can feel yourself where can i find that video? Thank you julie. It would greatly help me.
the guy in the beginning looks like junior julien :D
dang this went deep, i love 🤗
People want to feel accepted loved … and know that they mean something to someone.
They want to be approved of ….
Martina is HSP. Real empath. Don't give up on yourself. I feel with you in everything and i feel you❤️🍀 everything will be fine. Please study, educate yourself agains dark triad people and put your love in yourself and start to build the most important relationship - with yourself. Don't let people to use you anymore too. You are a gem 🦄☀️☕
Thank u for upload so much content here ❤
This is so great.❤❤❤
Such important work. 🚀
🙌🙌🧿🌚🌝🌟☮
She cares , IF she likes him
brave soul
@JulienHimself It seems like what we all chase is not approval, but the favourable treatment and effortless connection and vibe that comes when someone approves of us. That is deeply essential for our survival right?
Technically yes, but what Julien is talking about is a little bit different. @staypositivenomatterwhat4383 .
I mean yes, we're looking for effortless connection, but there again with the behaviour described " caring " of what others think, the connection you're aiming for isn't effortless. With that I don't mean you shouldn't make efforts, but effortless connection has to do with authenticity. By " caring " of what other people think of you and changing your behaviour accordingly you're giving up that authenticity, your connection stops being effortless and you start attaching your self worth to other peoples beliefs about you. Because what happens if you change according what someone " thinks " of you is, that you give them power over you. You are basically telling your subconscious mind " I'm not suitable for that person the way I am, I need to change " . This will feel like you are not enough, as if you are lacking.
Why can't you be together with someone EXACTLY the way you are? Otherwise you will always change and be hypervigilant and anxious because the thought arises that " you're not enough" or that " they are not gonna like me " but the thing is, that in this world love SHOULD be effortless meaning, if someone is meant for you they will want to stay. You will decide who you are and you will act like your best version and they will stay. But you have to be your best version without caring of others opinions, that would make you inauthentic again. You have to put yourself in a room, with clothes that you picked, with a mood that you picked and accepting the things that you can't control about yourself like your face and know " I am presenting my best version. I am enough. I am loveable. The right people will find me. "
If you truely believe those things about yourself, the desire to be liked will vanish anyways, just as it should. Because you as you are already think you are likeable
well when I get in contact with people I dont know yet, I can literally feel like a shadow automatically coming over me making me a whole another person. I dont know how to get rid of that.
Very common... Fortunately there's a way to LET GO of this. I'd suggest starting here: www.julienhimself.com/8p
how can I let go, after "years"? how can I do it effectively.
Hello There!🙌🏼
Hey! 👋
22:00 you're so good
What if they're logically correct about their opinions about me?
The fact he mentioned bill gates in the way he did was awesome. Much respect all around though i love it
15:26 you are your own kid
Hey julien, did you ever do a video on book recommendations? Would be quite interesting I guess. And great video again btw
I haven't done any recently but I used to do "book reviews" back in the day: ruclips.net/video/HSg7cDuWtzQ/видео.html
This was an amazing video.
I will say though, that ice cream bed do be comfortable 😂. You’re also doing the Lords work by telling people to watch The Lord of The Rings
Thanks! 🙌
00:00 🧞♂ Question about life blockages and offering a magical solution.
00:22 🤔 Desire to stop caring about others' opinions.
00:53 🗣 Encouragement to express confidence without holding back.
01:10 📣 Repeated attempts to say "I don't care what you think of me" loudly and confidently.
01:54 🧐 Exploration of fear and hesitancy behind expressing true feelings.
02:46 🤝 Clarification that not caring about opinions doesn't mean not caring about people.
03:36 👨👦 Role play to help understand how to separate caring about someone from their opinions.
04:12 🧠 Discussion on not attaching self-worth to others' opinions.
04:56 🧩 The importance of self-evaluation and internal separation from others' judgments.
06:08 🌟 Encouragement to confront and embrace one's true self.
07:17 🎭 Examination of seeking validation and appreciation from others.
07:57 🛡 Questioning the feeling of safety and its origins.
08:42 🌱 Acknowledgment of not taking care of oneself and ignoring personal needs.
11:22 💔 Exploration of self-criticism and negative self-talk.
12:11 👩👦 Role play to demonstrate self-compassion and understanding towards oneself.
13:13 🗣 Identification of internal abusive dialogue stemming from parental treatment.
14:48 👨👦 Reminder to re-parent oneself and break the cycle of self-abuse.
15:48 💪 Emphasis on setting boundaries and asserting self-respect against negative self-talk.
17:23 🛠 Analogy of treating negative self-talk as a virus that needs an antivirus approach.
18:05 🚫🌪 The pull of negative emotions is strong and can lead to a disempowered state.
19:30 💔 The pull of negativity ("Wormtongue") is strong and glamorized, leading to self-pity and disempowerment.
20:14 🚫 To counteract this, one must be firm yet non-reactive, setting clear boundaries against self-abuse.
21:12 💪 Repeatedly saying "No, thank you" helps in establishing a firm stance against negative thoughts.
21:50 🧱 Creating a strong boundary against self-pity and procrastination is crucial for personal empowerment.
22:55 🛡 Asserting strength against negative internal dialogue reveals that it is merely an illusion.
23:35 🌟 Breaking out of negative patterns involves moving up through emotions like anger to assert boundaries.
24:22 🔄 The journey involves progressing from grief to fear, then anger, and finally to empowerment.
26:04 🔍 Understanding that self-criticism is the worst form of pain one can inflict on oneself.
27:03 🔥 Anger is necessary for breaking free from negative self-talk and moving towards empowerment.
28:00 🌧 Tears can be a form of release but can also fuel a state of grief; recognizing this is essential.
29:50 🗣 Encouraging self-respect and anger to break the cycle of self-pity and negative self-talk.
31:31 🧘 Practicing setting boundaries leads to inner peace and moving beyond constant internal conflict.
33:05 🦁 Remembering one's true potential and rejecting the negative self-image imposed by past experiences.
35:43 🕶 Rejecting false self-beliefs and embracing true inner strength, akin to waking up from "The Matrix."
39:10 🔑 Reclaiming personal power involves continuously setting boundaries and eventually forgiving and letting go.
🔥🔥🔥
how can you let go at home, when there is always someone at home, that can alk by your room or talk to you at any time? It seems to me that in order to be able to let go you have to be private enough to feel at ease crying, gasping or anything else without having to worry you may have an audience...
I'm in the same situation, and what we both have to realize, is that those other people at home, they don't rule over you. They aren't your owners. You can be you regardless of what they think. This is your one life that you've got to live. Don't let other people have control over that and make you live their way. Do YOU, always. Who cares what they'll think. Really. You don't need to measure your own self worth based on what they think, or how they'd prefer you to behave. Take charge of your own life. Take charge of who you are. Don't be afraid. It's either live in fear of that and never become how you want, or do what you want to do, and maybe they won't like you as much anymore. But who cares. Your top priority should and always should be YOU.
@@ettel8358 i agree with everything you said. but when it comes to laying down, breathing and wanting to let whatever come up take over and anything can happen - i cant fully do it with people around. but thats my issue. thanks a lot you did made great ponits
@@memm7846 I know man, it's not as easy as just saying you're gonna do it, and then all of a sudden you're different. It takes a lot of working on your self. The fact that you're here aware of the problem, and wanting to be able to fix it, that's the first step, you're already on the right path. Don't give in though, okay? You got this. Genuinely. I'll give you what I've figured out for myself so far. Hope this helps in some way. (I posted four different topics but I guess RUclips auto deleted the last two for posting so much so quickly)
★ Live in the Present Moment ★
• The Details:
Stop thinking so much about how things went in your past and how things will go in the future, and just be present in life as it is in the current moment, so that you can actually live in, experience, and appreciate life as it's happening right now.
• In Practice:
TAKE DEEP BREATHS AND JUST LISTEN TO WHAT YOU HEAR AND SEE WHAT YOU SEE WITHOUT THINKING. ENJOY WHAT'S GOING ON IN YOUR LIFE.
• Video Link:
ruclips.net/video/caAURGZBLeY/видео.htmlsi=WLgIyT-jH_80ZG-P
★ Love Yourself for Who You Are ★
• The Details:
Remind yourself how great you actually are. Don't judge yourself negatively, and accept that it is what it is as it is right now. Accept that this is the current best version of yourself, and that you can just improve on who you are. Be actually grateful for the good things that there are in life.
• In Practice:
TAKE A MOMENT TO ACTUALLY TELL YOURSELF THAT YOU LOVE WHO YOU ARE, AND THEN BE THAT AWESOME PERSON WITH CONFIDENCE AND A SMILE.
• Video Link:
ruclips.net/video/CgegagKxHH0/видео.htmlsi=ZMU94L3AE8F3KyDU
I care so much man I gotta stop what’s the easiest way?
Watch the video... 😉
3:56 wtf? poor lady. why Julien Machiavelli?
I think it's funny you called the ladies out for Botox. I don't know why it's funny but it was random😂😅
You do have to care what people think of you though.
If everyone thinks that you're an a**hole then you won't get very far in life.
Similar applies at work, if you don't care what your boss thinks of you, you're not going to get very far in that job.
If a salesman doesn't care what his customers think of him, guess what? He's not going to sell anything.
Just a food for thought.
❤
You're an alpha!
@@user-ki5od8nl2j he doesn't care about your opinion btw
@@cararussell2547 i know I'm just sharing my opinion bro i also don't care what you think about this comment bro
I stop crying , what is going on a long time from the inside 🌺🌺🌹🌹🥺👀😋
What you think of me is none of my business
Martina is me 🥹🥺
I am Martina 😢