The Best RELATIONSHIP Advice No One Ever Told You
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- Опубликовано: 29 июн 2024
- You won't like this, but you need it... This video reveals why you should stop chasing love and relationships!
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Julien Blanc (AKA JulienHimself) is a Swiss-born, U.S.-based self-help speaker, entrepreneur and transformational coach.
Since 2010, he has been traveling around the world and has personally coached tens of thousands of clients face to face... Empowering them to create massive success in their lives!
His record-breaking programs Transformation Mastery, Transformation Mastery Live, Transformation Mastery Live Advanced, Transformation Mastery Academy & Transformation Mastery Mentoring help people around the world achieve the HEALTH, WEALTH, RELATIONSHIPS & HAPPINESS they deserve!
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The Best RELATIONSHIP Advice No One Ever Told You
Stop chasing a specific person and instead do this! In this video, Julien Blanc (AKA Julien Himself) opens up about his marriage and reveals the truth about love and relationships... Discover how to make a relationship work & how to make a relationship last!
This is the deep truth about relationships you must know, if you ever want to have a chance of maintaining a healthy relationship.
#julienblanc #julienhimself #relationship
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The real me is when I amuse myself by making an UNO game last over 5 hours, but no body else enjoyed it.
Or when I beat someone in a game of Chess, but instead of winning right away I'll promote all my pawns to queens and then do a little dance around their king.
I needed this.. I just turned 23 yesterday and im still a virgin.. Been curved many times when i was younger… But i love myself and myself fully.. To anyone out there, just be you.. May our creator bless us..
OMG, this came at the right time! I've been single for over a year, focusing on healing and letting go of what doesn't serve me. Recently, I started thinking about putting myself back out there again. However, because of this video I've decided to wait until I'm not afraid to be alone forever-- my true self doesn't care, but my ego does. Thanks!
❤ authenticity is power
You got this!
That is just another trap. You have to accept you for who you are right now. Yes, keep working on yourself, but don't let that stop you living your life in the meantime.
@@michaeljeacock yes 🥰😁😁😁 love is the strongest energy in the universe
A year ? 😂
Amazing insight as usual, Julien. I find an amazing calmness is being alone because I know we are all one and everyone around me is a part of me having their own experience. I ran a Tough Mudder yesterday and enjoyed the contrast of being part of amazing camaraderie while also being a part of my own experience of doing things on my own. Even when out hiking in nature, you are not alone because EVERYTHING around you is alive. So much is happening, especially at a quantum level, that it's very soothing and comforting to me. If you are reading this, always remember that you are a gift unto this world. No matter what you do. Just being here is enough. Although, we are always growing and wanting to expand so why not enjoy this 3D world while we are here and do all the things that bring us and others joy 🙏
3D kinda sucks tho 😅 too dense! but I get what you're saying. we are all just Universe's or God's avatars playing with each other because THERE IS NOTHING ELSE TO DO!!! 😭😁
as they say, you cannot pour from an empty cup. first you fill your cup with self love and when it starts overflowing, you can share your love with others.
Just exactly 2 mins into the video, and I realised how I am changing for the better. I started watching Julien about 6-7 months back. Before that I had this goal to become famous. But after regularly watching his videos and implementing what all I learn, I just now realised how I am not craving to become famous anymore. I am becoming more at peace with myself. Now I am craving to make a big positive impact to the world, in my field, that helps both the species and the society.
My relationship with myself has improved a lot since.
The "species"? O_o
@@BlinkinFirefly Yes!
I remember homeboy here doing a video on the beach many years ago, with a glowing Ferris wheel in the background, explaining how getting attached to the idea of somebody or being in a relationship, instead of getting to know them and develop something naturally was a fatal error many guys make when young. Those who know, know.
The algorithm blessed my feed with this video from the same man a decade or more later, and it's having just as strong an impact. Definitely a good speaker here, with a deeper understanding of relationship dynamics.
my problem is that i am used to being on my own and by myself :)
Why is that a problem
@@ketangle because I want family. And since I can be on my own I am very picky person.
@@siiNkecheers
Julien is like a breath of fresh air. I felt like I was drowning in self-help info until I found one of his videos. Since then I feel empowered and can actually apply all the gem advice that Julien shares. So much gratitude to this wise teacher!
Julien, I’ve been through a TON of letting go and tons of different techniques. Visualizations, sssing, convincing myself the memories behind the emotion didn’t happen so there’s no need to hold on, I even started to sing a frequency in a way that “felt good” and watched reiki to facilitate the expunging of energy!
Throughout all of this, I had a moment. A moment that changed everything. I just realized exactly what I heard you say in the beginning really made complete sense- “letting go is easy, but it’s not easy to do.” It’s exactly right. I thought I understood it when resisting fully feeling all the way through. The heat generated by my body so much I had to turn the ac down, the grieving emotions I fought through that were so painful but I believed it was part of the process. This is what I thought you meant when you said the phrase. But now it took on a whole new meaning
Sitting in the car letting go, I realized randomly that I am literally the one in control. And no, I don’t need to fight it or fully feel it as it goes. I just need the extra courage to let it go! It just clicked. And since then I tell myself “I don’t feel bad for you feeling this emotion, because you have complete control over not feeling it by simply releasing it. You literally can feel this sting of this, but are actively choosing to do nothing about it. Therefore, you have nobody to blame but yourself in the situation” I take a moment to genuinely recognize this, and then I have a decision to make- hold on, stay this way, or let go? You’ll literally notice YOU YOURSELF, even consciously when you make the unconscious conscious, WILL NOT WANT TO LET GO SOMETIMES! It’s like, you know you want to but legitimately think you need to hold on.
This stuff is crazy. I’ve gone through so, so many iterations and just got a handle on it. I just got into this 2 months ago and decided it’s full focus on this technique ONLY until I let go of the 20% that is the most harmful, and the rest is a lifelong process.
Taking responsibility, and legitimately meaning and knowing you are has been the biggest breakthrough I’ve had. And I believe you and Owen talk about how you can listen to something and think it’s stupid or not understand it, and then come across it later and have it resonate. This is how I feel about some of your messages- that I’m only now finally understanding their meaning
I just wanted to let you know I’m taking this tremendously seriously, I let go all day every day. Through calls, work, etc, but only now has it gotten easiest and I feel the most results from the most little effort. You’re the goat, thanks bro !
This is so true. This happens to a lot og guys who have a hard time with women. When a girl finally shows interest they become fake just to keep her. However, it never works.
1. You are complete alone
2. Accept the idea that youll be happy if you die alone.
3. Dont find someone to impress people
4. Find chemestry, not the perfect person.
5. Little people pleasing. Not brutal honesty but honesty with compassion as your focus. If you disagree, say that and make it clear you arent harboring feelings against them. Ideally bounce off what you like about what they like. Example: person 1(likes videos games) person 2(doesnt like video games)
Person 1:"I love Halo"
Person 2:"Ive never been much for videos games. Ones of my friends is though and I really think the environment are pretty"
6. Fart in front of each other.
7. Know that youre awesome as yourself and have standards for other people. If someone is being rude, know that you dont deserve that and its a reflection of whatever theyre going through
8. Put yourself out there and get rejected by the people you dont connect with to find the ones you do.
9. No matter how attractive someone is, you eventually see them as a normal person
10. Make a list of things that you find attractive about your partner, a list of what you find attractive minus the sexual bits like a friend, and a list of sacrifices you would make for them.
11. Look for your player 2. Who you beating the ender dragon with to make it easier.
12. Make sure theyre going in the same trajectory you are. If you're happy with yourself and dont plan to make more money, learn more hobbies, etc then find someone the same way.
13. Lowkey flex about the super hot women you used to date to look official for giving advice.
14. Youll get mad at them. Nothings wrong with you or them. Dont hold in your feelings until youre "officially together" and stick through it for the light at the end of the tunnel
15. Ask yourself why you feel mad/why youre mad at someone/why theyre mad at you...really
16. Learn how to have fights. Look up "crutial conversations" summary and takes notes.
17. The more codependent you are, the more kikely you are to find and be attracted to a narcissist. Vice versa. Find a middle ground so you can find someone like yourself.
ooh nooo, you did Julien dirty with the point 13 😂😂😂
Timestamps -
0:00: 💔 Understanding the importance of self-love and acceptance before entering a relationship.
4:13: 💖 Prioritize self-worth, avoid chasing wrong partners, and be content with being alone.
7:43: 💑 Authentic relationships should be a sanctuary where you can be yourself, including embracing natural behaviors like farting and going to the bathroom.
10:31: 💡 Authenticity is key in relationships; be upfront about important interests to attract like-minded individuals and repel incompatible ones.
14:24: 💑 Choosing a partner based on shared values, long-term goals, and personal growth is crucial for a successful relationship.
17:44: 💖 The importance of enduring challenges in relationships for personal growth and deeper connection.
20:45: 💡 Understanding relationship dynamics: codependency, narcissism, and attraction based on proximity to the middle.
Great advice! I recently got dumped by a man because he told me I wasn't supporting him, that I didn't make him feel good, that he felt like he had to walk on eggshells everyday of course NONE of this was my fault he built this golden prision around himself because he pretended to be someone he wasn't. Ultimately, I believe, he was a narcissist but that's neither here nor there. I learned a lot about myself through that relationship. I learned that I WAS picking these men and leaving myself vulnerable for the picking because I had zero boundaries and even if I "saw" something that misaligned with their actions I would believe what they told me over what they did... because I wanted to believe it not because it was true.
Omg, it sounds like I just wrote this. I’m in the exact same boat. 3 weeks off of being discarded by a dismissive avoidant. It hurts, but I’m doing the healing and inner work now and it’s helping me get through the heartbreak.
@@spicygingercat I am so sorry! Ultimately, learning from the mistakes that we did and not focusing on them will help us for the future and heal. I'd love to say they will soon know how it feels but it's been shown that avoidance LOVE LOVE the chase and statistically love one night stands. Because just as we fear being alone they fear being in relationships just as much. Narcissists on the other hand don't feel much of anything but I do feel sorry for the little child that was abandoned by most likely their mother. I forgive and move on. I am a recovering co-dependent and anxious attached person but I've been since for almost a year now after in and out for 18 years. In fact, it's more scary now getting in with the wrong person and wasting more time at 41 than it is being alone. I've rather enjoyed me time and not having to wait for dinner, worry if they are happy, and I get to focus on my favorite person - me.
@@bether2game797 oh yeah. They fear commitment and love the honeymoon phase. I also feel sorry for their hurt inner child that causes their unhealthy behaviors. But I am in complete agreement with you that focusing on ourselves and our own healing journey is the right move. Good luck to you!
Thank you Julian , that was gold .
This is why I've always had below 0 respect for anyone who couldn't be single for more than a few days. Any living being will do, as long as they have someone with them. Yikes. All the more satisfying to learn about their identity or existential crysis later on in life or psychosis because they have never developed their selves not even in adulthood. Some people have no hope
my exs=
This guy is like the Vermin Supreme of self help.
I
Love
It
Going through something with my girl rn, making things work and fixing problems but at the end of the day it just comes down to what’s more painful, holding on or letting go
Your insight is really golden
Julien, I love your videos, and your messages in all of them but this one - by far, is the most profound I’ve watched of yours. The eye opening ah-ha’ moments were continuous. Gratitude to you for spreading this knowledge so freely! ❤
Amazing to hear! I'm glad this was so insightful for you! 🙏
wow dude over half mil subs, you are killn it. You are like pheonix, building up again and again. Inspirational. keep going. respect.
My advice for couples:
Learn to listen to the other person. In an argument: it's not about who is right (there can be), but it is about understanding each others point of view.
:)
Another perspective on this is healthy people don’t want be alone either. We do need each other and are not meant to be alone. We just have to be with another healthy person.
there is a line between trigger fest stage and abuse learn the difference and leave abusers immediately no more excuses to stay with them. They're depending on you to give them grace that they don't have so you'll stay with them taking their abuse.
Since I’ve started watching Julien last year and became my true authentic self I’ve been divorced and fired twice and never happier 😂
funny thing is: i actually knew this before i got into a serious relationship. i told people actively looking for a partner is already the wrong approach. but i was so gd miserable that someday i finally tried being someone else to get a halfway bearable life because i ran out of options. now i have a kid with a person i hate.
oh no...😮 I hope you like the kid, tho❤ because you know how important it is for a child to feel loved and liked
Wish you would talk more about getting over the fear of being betrayed in relationships. Just cannot kick the fear of it and it seems like everyone is doing it. Makes me think what's the point even trying, there are no good people left.
this is so good thanks
You're so welcome!
My health 1st got it!
GOD BLESS JESUS LOVES YOU
Hi Julien. I saw someone struggling so I decided to share my insights. Just take them. If I can help even one person through you, I'm happy. I wish I could meet you and help people with you. I'm good at problem solving
This is great:)
Julien your the best
Thanks Julian.
?: How long should one think about their goals so they won't procrastinate?
Thanks.
Lust is the foundation
5/5 stars 👏
They gonna discover me
What do you mean you?
You always be youself so why you aftaid if someone exposed you?
You'll be afraid if you hiding something from them
But why you need to be with people relationship on job ect. Where you need to hide youself for what?
For pleasure money etc?
It seem worth it but if you really think about it is it?
And if answer is yes you need to let go a lot
Because be yourself is painful?
You still can be yourself with you
But i want to be with someone
Then find someone who will be with you, dont hide parts of yourself show them and then you see what people dont like, your parts and that good
But the most important question is why you want to be with someone?
Ask to this question truly say a real reason why you want to be with someone ask this question to yourself, dont lie to yourself or you get lost on what your goals and what you want, learn yourself
What experience you had that star to believing that you need to hide from people, this world ect?
Only because something bad happens or not pleasant dont mean that you need to hide it
If you truly ask yourself this
You could answer
I want sex
Why you want have sex?
Because i want feel good
Why you want to feel good?
That might be the most irrational strange and stupid question to say and the right answer is: "what you mean i deserve to feel good" but what the real answer?
And it might be:
Because i feel bad
And that when you want to stop and a lot of people usually stop they change theme because its too hard and stressful, but keep going! dont run from yourself, be with yourself be your supportive listener, that your feelings, you communicate with yourself
Why you feel bad?
Because i hate myself
Why you hate yourself?
Because i deserve to die
Why you deserve to die?
Because im wrong
Why you wrong?
Because i cried
Why you cried?
Because im lied
What you lied?
That im ok
Why you lied?
Because i was aftaid
Of what?
Of myself
Why you was afraid of yourself?
Because being yourself is painful
Why its painful?
Because a lot of people hurt me, my ex my parents ect
Ok they hurt you but why you need to hide yourself just because of that?
Because its pain
Ok they make something to you, it their problem why only because of them you need to hide it?
And then you Can rethink reimagine your experience that you had with help of question trials you can get conclusion, important data, notes that you made when being traumatised and then you can make new assumptions when you aware of them now and be with yourself at home feel peace with yourself
And then in this state you can go in relationship ;))
Just ask question its so simple but in the same moment so hard
Dont stop questioning yourself things about world ect you'll find a lot of new for yourself
This answer might be illogical but remember you make them when you were in stress where you have limited time where you were maybe kid, and you need think of something, but there some valuable data, ask your self
Dont just talk with yourself or speak, ask and question what yоu ask, and that where the spiral process coming))
Damn first time getting to a Julien Video so fast!!!!
I LOVE YOU BROTHER!!! Keep Setting People Free!
You Rock!!! 💖💎🙌∞
Nice! And thank you! 🙏
Julien In Nigeria let's make it happen 😂 muh love
I was jus thinking of this U have amazing topics bro
Thank you! 🙏
Referring to my wife as player 2 from now on
How about when you are 'too good' at being alone and pushing people away? 😅
@julianHimself I’ve listened to Tony Robbins and a bunch of other people over the years, and finally everything just clicked. ‘See them as your Player 2’. I’ve never felt more free in my marriage, yet excited to play life with my partner missioning by my side 🎉thank you man
Hey julien, love ur work man .. have been facing a small problem its like when i try to apply what all u said in my life im only being able to do it for a day , n when i try to follow these stuff the next day something in me doesnt allows me to do so... i feel stupid when i try .. what do u think i shld to abt this ?
A Previously Misunderstood Genius, Julien :)
You're absolutely right. I was "the wrong people" for my ex... When i asked him to stop doing drugs and to find himself a little job... He said that i was not close to him enough nor important enough to him to take my advice into account... lol I'm happy he rejected me... Afterall, no one likes being a burden to perfect people, and i'm sure his life is even more perfect without me now 😂
the thing video is missing is that - I need to know more abt yourself who are you, you have family, how did u came up with this knowledge, were how were you before and now? i get it you are focusing on Others, but dont forget to introduce yourself... overall wow.... this is just wow. thank you a lot, that you are keeping it real
So being in a relationship, is like picking which build i will use in a souls games? Gotcha
13:22 homie snapped so hard my video started buffering.
ABSOLUTELY 💯💯
Glad this resonates! 👊
love yourself then love one another
May i ask a question? So i‘m deeply in love and some more deep connection with a person who is great and we have some amazing things in common. He feels very fond and loving towards me too, but he‘s in an open relationship and i have that constant feeling that i‘m not good enough in this constallation. Is that only my missing love of myself that i‘m hurt here or is it okay to say that i don‘t want it..?
Without any craving or attachment you are totally enlightened, is that realistic❓
(of course it would be ideal to be without, I personally do not know anyone who is)
It makes all of us not eligable to be in a relationship.
I think it is great to be aware of our cravings and attachments and try to overcome them as well as be more independent and free. few people are true loners and people crave some good company, friendships, meaningful or nice activities or work.
If someone doesn't have some activities or friends for a long time the craving will set in unless someone is totally dull or someone solely enlightened.
Tell me how to live balanced without those things for people who are not totally enlightened Masters already ❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓
it more like, don't take it personally
Still going through my first breakup at age 30. Its been 4 months from the breakup and im still completely crushed.
We were together for 14 months and it was the best times of my life.
Then the last couple months i was letting out my baggage and self sabbotaging and broke her trust.
I never connected with anyone before i met her and made so many mistakes to an amazing women and then she left me for my fake friend.
Being autistic, ocd & Depression has really made this breakup hell for 4 months. Im worried im never gonna feel better again and not enjoy life and things again.
I hope i beat this severe depression. I even lost my job.
Everything triggers me of her. We loved all the same things for the most part.
Except she loves harry potter so its another trigger.
She literally loved me fully and aunthetic but she had enough.After the breakup i realized i dont resonate with any of my friends cause they like to drink and smoke weeda and dont like much of what i like so im all alone in this world.
She was the only one that ive ever been so close too in all levels, emotionally & Psychically.
I started getting bored cause she was so sweet and ruined it.
I feel like my life is over.
She told me things were getting stagnant. 💔💔💔
Go to Casey Zander’s Channel and get to know how women work 🏋️
I promise you, you ARE going to feel better eventually. Depression is a bitch, me and her are very close "friends" unfortunately. What helps me every time I spiral into one of the episodes, is to STOP THINKING. I kid you not. Stop the internal dialogue altogether. You can try listening to meditations or just look up techniques to stop the internal dialogue. You need to STOP THINKING and START doing something positive and productive (whatever it may be for you). Stay strong, beautiful soul, this too shall pass❤
I feel you. Heart break sucks big time😢I know all about that. I never thought I would get over my ex (cried and cried over him for months on end, everything felt meaningless, empty, I blamed myself, was just staying in bed, barely excisted etcetc.) But, I was able to move on 👍🏼I also want to add that maybe not all hope is lost when it comes to your ex. She’ll might be back with you one day if she miss you, realizes it was true love and if it doesn’t work out with that fake friend. Hopefully you’ve said you’re truly sorry and done whatever you can to make amends. I got back with an ex after a year actually, but it didn’t last. We just weren’t meant to be. No matter what happens, you’ll find someone eventually and things will be good again💖But you have to give this time and accept that it hurts. You would be a cold emotionless narc or something if you could just turn off your feelings like that. One thing that helped me was to look at different YT videos (a lot of advice and tips here about exes, heartbreaks and everything) You’ll get through this. You’re life isn’t over trust me💯(It just feels like that now) In terms of your friends, maybe you should look for some other type of friends (theres’s a lot of good people online for example) You also need more time to heal. Maybe be alone for a while and put love on hold. See what happens with everything and focus on you. Learn from these mistakes, don’t repeat them and one day you’ll be truly happy and in love again. Time will show with who. Also, try to find another job - a new chapter and start. Talk to people who can help you or have been through similar situations. I wish you all the best 🌸
i feel like my ex is both extremes of the spectrum, a narcissistic people pleaser. but maybe what seems narcissistic is just deep insecurity.
man, i'm telling you, once you tried hard enough to make a doomed relationship work and it only got worse and worse, it gets REALLY hard to see anything good in that person ever again.
Genuine question.
I am working on improving my social skills and awareness. In order to connect with people more.
Does that make me social chameleon?
are you authentic when you are talking to them or do you pretend to be someone else?
Can siblings be both narcisist and codependant?
I mean same upbringing but just developed differently?
I used to hang with a Guy with a huge Ego. Talented guy with lots of skills, a good job and a huge income. Unfortunately he was and still is approval seeking from the outside world surrounding him.
So even with all the money and lots of opportunities around him he still is empty inside and unhappy with his life cause he’s not seeing it and he won’t work on it either. Sad life.
Ive held onto this one friend of mine for so long my heart feels so broken when she wants space.. she now doesnt talk to me anymore and i guess thats okay but i feel so empty insife... I wouod do anything for her but its a me problem why am i to associate my happiness with external validation
Passing gas is a part of nature anyway. I really don't understand why a romantic relationship with your partner would be embarrassed by it. Your partner becomes your new immediate family.
Word. 💪🏻🔥😉🙏
🔥👊
@@JulienHimself👊🏻💥
Alone, never lonely! Learn and apply the dokkodo, it will serve your soul… 🙏🏻😎🤙🏻
If you complete yourself then why seek another?
Isn’t that unnecessary? Complicated?
Do we not need others?
This has always confused me.
you shouldn't seek. stop seeking. live your life and be magnetic. you will attract your person whether you want it or not. just by being whole
My boyfriend of about two months finally ripped one in his sleep. And I was like "...so he DOES fart. O_O"
I find farts hilarious, and have let loose a few around him, testing the waters. But I quickly discovered he doesn't care for them one way or the other. He doesn't find them funny, and won't fart consciously around me. This, among other things, I'm finding to be kind of a bummer :L (no pun intended)
Have a great weekend guys!😎🤘🎉
You too! 🔥👊
@@JulienHimself Thank you!😄🎉🎉🙌🏼🙌🏼
Ah, so having kids is the same as playing a FromSoftware game. Gotcha.
Wish i found you much earlier, ty
Better late than never! 🙏
Wow
The scale at the end got me 👮♂️👮♂️👮♂️
I’m going to codependent prison
C'mon, noone would be okay with the guarantee like this, no matter how healthy they are
he ate
yeah, that's how various life forms can sustain themselves. by eating
❤
........... Well I hope anything I've shared helps. If you could communicate with me to.. explain. It would help
Not exactly
56 minutes ago is arousing
I just understand it!!
Self-love mean i love myself
Self love dont mean you love me
That might sound stupidly obvious but if you thin about this you ll get it
Self love meaning in this words
I get it after you said you cant delegate self-love on the external
As oppose to love ourself we start craving pleasing someone to love us that the most unhealthy shit that we are doing
Instead of be good to ourself we thing maybe if i do something or achieve this makes me good
Istead of healing of trauma we only strengthen it
so what's your approach to developing self-love and falling in love with yourself? in practical terms, what does one do?
first and foremost stop ALL the negative self talk.
Well, think of the things you do for other people you love. You show up for them. You affirm them. You give them a shoulder to cry on. You are kind and compassionate towards them. Now do those things for yourself.
Im So F**ked
2. too much self-optimization is unhealthy.
1. being able to be alone with yourself and get on well with yourself has nothing at all to do with "being without other people forever". thinking that is a logical fallacy.
You got one thing wrong though. You still love Harry Potter. Just not the movies. So unless the gf hates the books you still share common ground.
Firstt
🔥
BS nobody is ready for marriage,.. The relationship teaches and brings out your best and worst. Be dedicated to changing in relationship.
+
youre so insecure bro
Absolutely true, when you get it - you get it. Thanks for sharing
Yes! Glad this resonates with you! 🙌