This channel seriously does wonders in shedding a light on conversations that aren’t talked about in society, or that are seen as bad or weak conversations to have. Thank you Jubilee for this video. I’m sure many people out there love hearing these words being said.
I hate to say it, but I was crying listening to some of these stories. I wish people would take more serious time to listen to other people, and to just accept that bad things happen, and that we can move on from our worst moments and be better. It seems to me that people think that pushing it under the rug, or "it didn't happen" is the best way to deal with these problems, but there's not an action that I think we need done unless we can find that justice, but someone to just hold us together while we're broken, just for a moment.
@@IIIISai would you monetize your trauma? If you're assuming this isn't willing or isn't done in a fair way I disagree. However, we can't prove if it is willing or unwilling, or done in bad faith, unless the video poster gives us more detail in how these videos compensate the people on screen or if it's truly just a PSA to bring awareness, so no one has to suffer like they did. I think your comment is just trying to get attention, or you're just repeating what you hear other people say without knowing why, or you just don't know better. Now, would you like to add to the conversation?
As a woman I 100% believe this is what will make society better. Men need this, men need to be able to be emotional and talk about their trauma without being dismissed
I believe him too. I will always believe when someone says they have been sexually abused. I am so grateful that 4 stood up for you after you told your secret. I am so fortunate to have been believed when it happened to me.
When he said his traumatic experiences are not as serious as the others😭 Sir, they are still traumatic. You still went through hardship that played a role into your adulthood. Please don’t ever minimize your experiences.😭 Sending love to all of them!
exactly, I've been through a lot. on the surface it doesn't seem that bad but the damage it's done and the confusion of trying to understand is paralyzing
It's true because it has and still does cripple him, in ways, every single day. He now has daily anxiety and extra thoughts and fear that never goes away.
I actually consider his to be the worst because his trauma trapped him on a similar path and he completely shut himself out from having experiences by avoiding men. I pray this experience probably changed him in some way
@kylespevak6781 ❤exactly. They want to seem like they can handle the curtain opening but when they think of what it means to open up, they choose to brush it under the rug.
people just dont understand SA very well and have pre conceptions that "certain types of people" are immune to SA. It can be anyone. Statistically its overwhelmingly women, but that doesnt mean it cant be you, and you should always be vigilant and careful. Whatever happens just know that there will ALWAYS be people who will know you are telling the truth and will support you.
It has been psychologically proven that people often laugh or smile at moments of shock, or when they are extremely uncomfortable or experiencing anxiety. It does not mean their smiles or laughter were ha ha.
@@PS-qn4ozIt only became a joke when it started targeting innocent people. It was being taken pretty seriously until then and we still see the societal effects of it today.
"Every time I talk about this its me taking my power back just a little bit more.." Woah, this series is great! Definitely one of the more interesting episodes of this series!
@@brandonross8200 Men generally don’t take it seriously either. A lot of men think hooking up with older women when they’re minors is something to brag about. If anything, I see far more women make attempts to explain to men how that’s not okay.
I am female and a survivor and I cried so much. I am so sorry that men are not believed. I am so sorry for you and I wish I could hug you. There is something wrong with this world and we should all try to spread more love
Dont be sorry. You have done nothing wrong. Like men shouldnt universaly apologize for what other men did you shouldnt apologize for the faults of other woman and society.
@נדבישרהוכמן My friend, I don’t think they mean sorry like “I apologise, for what I’ve done” I think they mean sorry like “this shouldn’t happen to you and I am upset and think it’s wrong that it happened.”
Zach, if you're reading this, i went through the exact same thing with a coworker. I had the same scenario, the same realization the next day, the same denial from those close to me at the time. I had to move, quit jobs, ditch my entire friend group at the time, and it still didn't feel enough. it's been over 10 years, and things DID get better. your pain is real, what you went through is real, and you DO NOT have to go through this alone.
I’m so so sorry. Thank you for sharing your story with us. I’m so happy to hear that things have gotten better for you. Wishing you the best because I understand that it’s always going to be a journey of healing🩵
Hearing the gentleman saying when he said he was raped he was blown off so many times and laughed at hurts me so much. I’ve never been through anything like that but I cannot imagine the pain he felt.
Because so many people believe that men always just want to have sex. It’s played down as a “ohh you were just nervous” or “an attractive girl/guy touched you. You’re lucky” and people brush it off as a joke. It creates this feeling of Men can’t be victims. It’s a shame that so many men go thru such things and no one cares.
they don't take women's SA seriously either.. i see people, mostly men, laughing, disrespecting and disregarding r*pe, domestic ab*se, harrassement..ect all the time! and this says a lot about us as a society, and as a species even. sad af.
1 in 6 men reported having being sexually assaulted but we must factor the fact that most men who are sexually assaulted never reported it. So I personally believe that number is bigger. I must also say some people do not deserve the gift of a child. A mother telling her son to not mention the abuse needs to be locked up as well as the abuser. My heart goes out to these victims.
And you can forget about men who get sexually assaulted by women getting taken seriously in this messed up world. It's so sad that in almost every sense, men SA is dismissed
I imagine kiddie diddlers and SA are at the root of origins of homophobic hate. Especially when LGBTQ was way more socially despised and thus no one would present outwardly... if that was your only known interaction with homosexuality you'd think everyone who was gay was an enemy
@AlexClayland1232 It's important that we don't blame women for this. I'm not saying that is what you're doing, but I think it opened up a conversation that this comment section really needed, considering most of these laws, privileges and whatever are also imposed by men which are degrading to both men and women. It's sad that men played a big part in developing the very system that oppresses them
@AlexClayland1232 that law sucks, but note how the rapists talked about in this video as well as a large majority of those who commit SA are men. So yes, it is important to recognize that women can be the offender and it's really important to talk about male victims HOWEVER what is a problem on a STRUCTURAL level is men's violence which is extremely common and something men and women suffer from... So when women talk about the problem the men should listen and fix it because they will benefit too!
@AlexClayland1232 So, who do you think put those laws in place if not men? It's not like the government is riddled with women pulling the strings. The government shouldn't be "favoring" anyone. Sure, some people need accommodations, but overall, everyone should be equal, and biases are all ultimately problematic in terms of governing. Real feminism is about equal rights for all
As a therapist that works with boys and men, I'm overjoyed that these men stepped up and shared their stories. It gives others a path forward to do the same. Thank you for prioritizing men's mental health and mental health in general, Jubilee.
i love how these men just talked. it shows that this is probably the first time they’ve had this space to let it out. i hope they all know how heard they are and i cherish the vulnerability they’ve shown. this video will change so many peoples lives ❤
My ex told me he was touched at a young age by woman. He just laughed and felt like nothing was wrong. I feel bad for him because I can only imagine how many men were also molested by women but think it’s okay because it’s a woman
As a woman who holds a lot of stigma against men that’s is unfairly generalized due to past experiences, this was an amazingly eye opening video, and I really appreciate this content because I realized a lot of things about men but also myself and where my views are skewed and how they might perpetuate some of these issues talked about today
Always happy to see people learning and growing. I hope you will make space for the men in your life to be more emotionally vulnerable with you. I'm sure they would appreciate your love and support.
I appreciate this more than you know... I've realized as I get older that it really is a vicious cycle men are hurting women and other men women are hurting men and other women and the resentments we form when we aren't loved or acknowledged create bitter people bitter desperate people who perpetuate the cycle of abuse I think gradually working through our traumas and learning that people are people not only a demographic is the only way we can ultimately come together and learn, grow, heal, and fix the issues we're ALL suffering from...
I would really love to see this becoming a long series. The more men see other men openly share their traumatic experiences and struggles, the more attention we can lead to men's mental health. Thank you for the video
15:09 "I was molested, raped, and sexually assaulted by four of my VERY CLOSE FRIENDS". I had to rewind several times to make sure I heard that correctly. What kind of a "close friend" does this!!?? What kind of world are we living in???
I believe in you and deeply sorry you went through that … You are so precious all you deserve is kindness and respect and I hope you will find peace despite what some ugly souls have done to you … You are so so precious 👼
@@ivanmunoz4734 I think he has a point he is displaying it in a wrong way its like how women are more prone to talking about their own mental health in compairision to men due to societal standards
Over the years, I've seen this topic really get a realization effect, like men are people too, that we do have feelings, back when I was younger, the "experts" had no idea what to do so they blamed the person who had the problem and gave such sage advice as "just need to get a job" and "just stop feeling that way"
These moments are EXTREMELY necessary for whichever gender but mostly men. It’s beautiful to see that when opening up you make people think about their own decisions in life.
When I was 7 I was molested by one of my mom’s friends. She was hot and I thought I was lucky. I should have told my mom but at the time I was scared and embarrassed. I’ve buried the secret for years because my father is a traditional military dad. He has ptsd and would sometimes take it out on whatever or whoever is around him. I think that having that trauma is what made me become a violent angry and resenting person. I’ve only told my brother and he laughed and I hated him for it but looking back at it he probably thought I was joking or that it couldn’t happen to men.
Similar thing happened to me but when I was 4...it was a grown woman and I kept it hidden from everyone because I thought I did something wrong...Even till to this day, I have nightmares every month or so where I am always a little boy being chased by a woman and a lot of the times, she gets me in my nightmares...
So sorry to hear… I often heard from men that they don’t really see it as abuse because it was a woman or even a „pretty“ woman. But abuse is abuse. Being a woman myself, abuse by women IS abuse. Talk to a therapist, or someone that will listen. Don’t carry it around you as a secret. 🙏🏽 much strength
I just wanted to say thank you to Eric for such a strong way of stating how to move past anger. It is so easy to tap into as a means to drive you, but it's so fickle. Anger was my fuel for such a long time. I actually welled up hearing how to move past that anger put in such a beautiful way.
No joke, I think this will be my favorite category on this channel. I really appreciate that many different men share their stories so that you can personally get a different perspective on problems. And at the same time you have the opportunity to break down stereotypes and prejudices in a protected atmosphere, without the focus of judgment. There you can simply be yourself. I would be happy to see more episodes!
Is it even legal for a nurse to just straight up gaslight a patient about something that they're stating happened DID NOT happened when the nurse was never there?!
It happens all the time, unfortunately. Even when an abuser gets through the process of reporting at a hospital, they often get the same levels of gaslighting from the cops.
@@sleepy-peepy This is one of the many reasons I've started volunteering as a SART support worker, to help provide some emotional support to those who need it. Even if it's a small amount of people and in a small way. Because I will always believe a survivor.
I don’t know if it’s illegal but it is HIGHLY unethical. Regardless of whether she believed him a kit should have been offered as well as a referral to a counselor or psychologist. Even a blood test to see if there were traces of drugs in his system could have been done. By her brushing it off he lost the opportunity to have the evidence to press charges which could have made all the difference for him.
it’s so awful hearing that zach had the courage to disclose to TWO people, including a nurse IN A HOSPITAL and was brushed off both times. his opportunity to grow and heal through support from others in that moment was stolen from him.
@annihilam3408Did you stop listening as soon as he said it?!?!? He explained why he felt that way and how it's affected him. This weird cultist mentality some of you have is shocking.
@annihilam3408 He's having a PTSD reaction that he can't regulate. He's still in the zone of the trauma being active. He may be able to handle reaching out when he's beyond it, but what he's experiencing is common for the level of trauma he went through. It's not irrelevant; rather it's a measure of how unsafe the trauma still is in his psyche.
@annihilam3408women that were SA by men have a hard time being near men (any men) afterwards too, let alone sleeping in the same room as one. they are not the ones that did it, but they are a constant reminder of the ones that did (their mannerisms, their tone of voice, their scent, anything..)
I feel so heartbroken for these men but also so incredibly impressed that they voiced their secrets and the amazing empathy and care they showed to each other. Made me cry. I hope they can heal and have supportive people in their life. The incredible bravery and vulnerability is incredible. I want to give a hug to each of these men
Everyone has been abused, assaulted, or raped...yet no one ever owns this touching. Nothing will ever change without restorative justice to break the cycles. There has to be a route for abusers to take accountability or there will only be more victims.
As a fellow Male victim of SA I must urge everyone to overestimate the stats present on the issue. So many men experience this without reporting it, or not even understanding that what they experienced with SA. Thank you Jubliee for giving these men a platform to share this terrifyingly relatable secret.
Johnathan's story was so powerful, we never get to see what life's like for people that have served time for violent crimes. They're forever branded as criminals and society thinks of them as barely human. But it's refreshing to see someone who's reformed and doing well. We see a lot of stories of victims but rarely the stories of perpetrators of a crime.
I hope I'm analyzing this wrong but that smirk when he said "sorry mom" kinda gives me the vibe that he thinks it's cool to have that backstory. "People look at me and think I'm harmless I'm not a tough guy".... Ok?? Idk probably just me
I'm a young woman but each one of these men's stories had me in tears- like full blown crying, had to get a tissue. Men need spaces to open up and be vulnerable to heal from the impact they carry from all their troubled experiences.
The courage it takes to share these stories, and the heartbreak of hearing their pain and struggles, this was a really touching episode. What I love about this episode, and like the others in this series in particular, is the way everyone validates one another, gives empathy, and provides space for one another. I hope other men who have experienced similar situations can feel the same validation and feeling of not being alone. And to those who do feel alone or don't feel safe enough to talk through it yet just know that you're not alone, your experiences and feelings are valid, and that there are people who are by your side to support you - both now and if/when you are ready to talk.
@@NyathZzZz that's what I plan to do. when I can finally have these conversations with him (he's 3) it'll be a very emotion conversation where i'll probably end up crying and showingi how angry I was an what that path of self destruction did to my life. I'm almost 30 an i've probably cried more this past year than I have in my entire life.
The eye contact of the blue stripped shirt made me cry. The strength to confront confrontation and not look away is just something to behold. Thank you for sharing you have given a lot for the world to think about. We can only hope that this internal discussion leads to self reflection and improvement ❤
I think more men are sexually assaulted than we know. It's sad that it is so prevalent and sad to think about the men who do speak up, only to not receive validation, empathy or for the justice system to investigate. I have dated several men who shared with me that they were touched by friends or family at home growing up or in college at parties, and never told anyone. They still live with it but there was never any justice.
@@kosinneji9602 yeah but it doesn't help that female on male rape is used as a joke by most media nor does it help to say stuff like "most of their perpetrators are men too"
@@SomethingInteresting-nw2um but it's true though...? like 98% of male SA is by men...if we want to prevent male SA, it starts with men and not getting butthurt by that statistic. no one's blaming men, it's about fixing the problem. it's not going to magically go away by ignoring the root of the issue.
The SA conversation makes me want to cry. Because the fact they don’t feel comfortable reporting these crimes because of the way men are treated. It makes me so sad. I was also M* when I was younger and when I finally told my mom she made me feel valid and called the cops and reported it but NOTHING ever happened to the person… but yearssss later he was murdered and I was happy… karma did her job. Also yearsss after they died, my mother (who is crazy) decided to tell people I made up the entire story.. also told that persons kids, my brother and sister that I lied…. I did not want to tell them because they are too young to understand, to comprehend. You are not alone. 🖤
I'm so confused. The same mother that reported your SA when you were younger was the same mother that invalidated you after you grew up? Did she undergo mental degradation?
The first guy hit way too hard. I applaud him, and all of these men, for their courage to step forward and claim their experiences. These conversations are so important, and we really need to remember the humanity behind people we talk to. ESPECIALLY the people who are different from us
Unfiltered honesty is what we need in this current world we live in. Unfortunately, I don't think people will be 100% honest in front of millions of potential people.
MORE of this PLEASE Jubilee! This was incredibly healing, insightful & inspiring. It changed my perspective as a woman & mother IMMENSELY, plan to share it with both my son & daughter. I've never ever seen men talk like this & I think its really important for society that we see more things like this that teach us all to have more empathy & humanity for each other & ourselves ❤️ Amazing work Jubilee, keep it up!
never going to happen. you did not listen carefully, making content like this broadcasted to the world cheapens their experience to be judge across the internet . conversations like this should be face to face with us the world listening.
Bro Johnathan’s story is so important. It’s so easy to write off people as horrible people when they deal with anger problems. People are so scared of them nobody wants to talk or show them any love.
it's truly beautiful to see how much more comfortable people become when they're surrounded by others who have struggled in similar ways and are vulnerable about it. everyone needs this, but i think seeing men do this was especially important. men need more of this. more vulnerability, more community, more love. our world could be so much better with a little more love.
As a nurse and a mom, i just want to say to the SA victim, I am so sorry they treated you that way. It is ALWAYS important to take SA allegations from men and women both alike seriously and with compassion. ESPECIALLY YOU'RE OWN CHILDREN! She does not represent what a nurse in your situation was supposed to be for you and im so sorry 😔
Meh. Its obvious - female nurses need additional standards to follow, under criminal penalties if the dont, to safeguard men from their potential misandric toxicity.Words are not alone - we expect actions destructive enough for each and every woman in the field to be in fear. Only then we can be sure they will not offend.
This is why it is so so important to always find ways for your male (in this case) friends to feel like they have a safe space with you and to know that their experiences are just as valid, just as serious as everyone else’s. No one deserves to feel as though they need to keep their traumas and their feelings locked up because of others. We all deserve the space to be vulnerable and open without feeling shame
I remember reading something about Linkin Park’s “Crawling” having been written by Chester about his being taken advantage of sexually by a guy he knew. That song depicted his suffering from that incident, where he was frustrated that he could not tell anyone in fear that he would not be heard. I think we should create more safe spaces for men so their voices can be heard.
“This is how you free yourself and this is how you free those behind you that are terrified”. As a woman who has a lot of men in her life that she looks up to/claims as loved ones, this was a blessing to watch in its entirety. It allows me to understand what a portion of men are dealing with internally. Your experiences are completely your own. And your circumstances are not the same. But we all as a species seem to relate so much regardless. It’s beautiful to hear your truths. This shii hit differenttttt’!!!!!!!!
Watching this video I thought if something I don't typically think of. The statistics of SA cases, 97% of predators never see any form of punishment, its 1/6 men that get SA'd and 1/3 women that get SA'd. these are INSANE numbers, LITERALY INSANE. Those are so many people with that type of trauma it is INSANE. It is just horribly insane how many people are victims of SA myself included and still convictions rates are so low its laughable for all the wrong reasons.
Disgusting statistics all around. As a victim myself, I find myself not wanting to be in a world where it’s so common, and just as bad that so many predators get away with it. Living with the hypervigilance, anxiety, and the debilitating fear of men is hardly a life at all. Anyway my heart goes out to you, I hope you find some peace and healing
Men should allowed to be vulnerable, feeling, and authentic. When men express themselves differently they are often labeled homosexual. They should have the space to be authentic without labels of sexuality. I want my sons to have male friends they can discuss personal topics with without shame. I enjoyed this video.
11:05 this made me cry. I’m so so sorry! It’s disgusting how people don’t take rape seriously especially when it comes to men. Normal people don’t just say they were freaking raped. If someone says that, it’s serious. That stuffs not a freaking joke. I’m so sorry and the monster who did that to you, who took away your freewill deserves to be punished to the highest degree. Just know your feelings are valued, however much time you need you take it. It’s horrifying that a person, so many people could do something so dehumanizing and horrible.
I am a therapist who just graduated with my masters in counseling. While in the diagnosis class of my program, we began going over excoriation/dermatillomania. I had just learned that what I had done for so many years that I was so ashamed of was a thing and had a name just a few months prior to us talking about it in class. I was dreading the day we were going to talk about it. Then suddenly, one of my friends in my cohort named that she was going to be brave and shared that she had excoriation. I suddenly felt so much less alone in that struggle than I had ever felt before in my life. And before I knew it, I found myself saying that she wasn’t alone and that I had it too. We cried and hugged and our professor cried too. That’s what happens when you have so many empathetic therapists in one room lol. It was one of the most freeing moments of my life. And that is why I think videos like this are so special. I would love to see a video of people revealing their mental illnesses that they feel ashamed of having and discussing their experience with it. There are so many stereotypes about mental illness and I would love to hear from actual people who experience them. A lot of people live totally normal lives with things like schizophrenia yet are made out to be “crazy” in certain contexts like tv shows.
It took me years to find out the name for dermatillomania. I used to have a Tumblr account. I saw a girl with the same chest scars as myself. I asked what she had she said dermatillomania. It took 25 years to finally have a name for it. It was a breath of fresh air to finally find someone who went through the same thing.
It took me so long to find a name for it, my mom would take me to the doctors because of all of the rings and scabs on my legs and arms, people thought I was burning myself with cigarettes as a form of self harm. It moved from my legs and arms to only my face and my acne and I still struggle with it today but it is not as serious as it was
This makes me so happy to see these men open up. As a women in my life I have met many men who’ve opened up to me about these same topics. I’ve seen the internal and external damage it can do to men, generation’s, and relationships. Many hold it in and don’t feel like others care to hear or help. Find those you can trust and open up. You deserve to be heard, validated, safe, happy, and healthy.❤
My heart broke, I hate this world I pray these men find love and healing and peace I’m so sorry for what they have went through. So so proud of them. they found the courage to be vulnerable
Men don't have it on easy mode just because we're men, we need each other and we need love too. Don't be afraid to speak your hearts, you're not alone.
@AlexClayland1232 bro some women have it harder then men and some men have it harder then women its not a competition and both genders have their different struggles
@AlexClayland1232and this is why people will never take men seriously. Because of men like you who make it into a competition on who has it worst. Everyone struggles. We all struggle the same and even differently.
We can't know or judge someone fully, and this is a huge example of why. We're not actually called upon to judge as much as we might reflexively get trained and triggered to. I see far too much prejudice in various spaces of society and always have. Seeing the people willing to push past that anyway is awesome. Thankyou for your courage and honesty.
THIS is bravery and courage. Speaking openly, showing vulnerability, and having compassion. I hope these men can continue to take these conversations they’ve experienced, and model this level of compassion & transparency within their own circles. Men do deserve love and kindness, to be treated with respect and dignity, and to be BELIEVED. 💕💛
please, we need more videos like this. i've felt so much pain because of not being able to control my anger a few times as a young adult. i was constantly ashamed of myself, having nightmares about what i did, hiding from others hoping they'd never get to know the "real me", ended up suicidal and depressed. it is such a relief to hear other men share the same experiences and to see i'm not alone in this. the worst part is feeling like you have to hide what you did because otherwise everyone will see you as a bad person or a villain
The tension and abuse between genders throughout the world can be helped by understanding, validation, compassion. Common invalidations towards women sound like “oh you’re just doing it for attention” or “you’re being dramatic” and for men it can sound like “you sound like a whimp” or just stone silence. Everyone needs to be heard because our past traumas can deeply impact others. It’s all to easy to yell “well what about me?!” when we see a group of people being noticed, and I get that. But don’t take their moments of healing away from them. Be patient and you can find your paths to healing. I’m so proud of the progress that humans have made in the world. We have so much ahead of us and I have hope that we’ll collectively become more humane :)
This was a great episode and I hope it’s healing for many men. I didn’t realize 1 in 6 men are sexually assaulted. That’s alarming. You aren’t alone. I was drugged and sexually assaulted multiple times before I was 25. It affected me so much that I isolated myself for years. I don’t even have memories of what happened but it still affects me to this day. I think anyone who goes through this experience deserves grace, understanding and validation. I’m a woman and I believe you. I’m so proud of all of you for sharing your story.
@@maikeruxo9569 ???? Because she related to the men and wanted to tell them they're not alone and they have support? Surely you're not actually that obtuse? Wow.
and many more men are victims, not just 1 in 6. Its just that law, especially feminism-pushed law, says, in most cases, that its only a crime if the victim is female, or when perpetrator is male. Female-on-male crime is mostly stated to be empowerment and her using her societal rights.
It is seriously disheartening to see how many people are using the courage of these men as a way to put down women in these comments. Instead of spreading hate and bitterness, let's celebrate the progress we're making as a society and talk about the strength of the people in this video.
It shouldn't be about either of those things. It about showing empathy. If some dude was talking about losing his arm in a war would you comment about celebrating? No, the point is these people are struggling and they need people to actually care about them, not celebrate them talking.
Exactly. There was another video where women had done this same video and women just uplifted one another without bringing men down in the comments! These men should be supported, not used as a step stool for misogyny.
@@surislife funny i seen a couple comments doing the exact opposite of that same video. Men are always bashed by women online. Men respond and men get bitter but then theyre seen as the problem. Nobody cares what yall say anymore. Youre not the innocent ppl u claim to be
Totally, that's a great opportunity to discuss how to make the life of the guys in our lives better, emotionally, and people wanna turn it into a gender war, like, who does it help? Who benefits from this?
Albert standing up made me sob… knowing how many men didn’t stand up or don’t stand up shows how much of a stigma on male victims is so prominent and needs to be discussed and brought up and conversations like this are the stepping stone for breaking those barriers! thank you all for sharing 💗
I believe you Zach, and I'm sorry that the people in your life and the justice system failed you. I hope you can heal, I hope all these men can heal ❤️
This is why Jubilee will always be my favourite channel on youtube. These are things that need to be talked about, things that need to be brought up to empower other people and let them know that they are not alone. The men in this video had to gather up so much courage to share their stories with the world and I am forever grateful for this.
My mother has done the same thing , I also went through something similar how ever I was SA for a year by my own family. And I’ve only just come out about it, and my mothers response was selfish . Very similar situation I told my mother three years ago and she brushed it under the carpet . So I genuinely understand the statement of “ Every time I tell my story, I take my power back”
WOW. What a powerful group of strong men who have helped heal some of the pain many carry. If I were in that room, I would be proud and honored to hug and affirm everyone's experience. Continued success, men!
i went to church recently and the lesson at the end was on forgiveness. there is a difference between forgiveness and forgetting. just because you forgive someone does not mean you’ll welcome them back to the table. and that’s something i never really put together w/ the forgive and forget. i always felt you had to forgive the person and forget their wrong doings !! you should never forget what they did wrong but you should forgive them for you own self, forgive them for your growth, the change, the lesson, the strength, and then let them go. if that means they never come back into your life again so be it because you did what you had to do to let it go!
I'm glad that all of them stood up and talked about their secrets and I hope that they diminish the pain and lessen the weight of not ever talking about it, even for a little bit, and speaking up on the show, I feel very proud of them.
I just want to give them all a big hug! 😢 They (and many other men) have gone through so much and don't deserve the invalidation they get when they share something that truly hurt them. I wish that each of you are able to find a safe place to be vulnerable and find true healing, peace, and closure.
full on sobbing at the guys story about being roofied and SA’d. Can’t breathe, im so hurt for you, I feel for you. I hope you look back on this version of you one day when you’re loved and you can love
Thank you for sharing. My heart cried when the guy who told the nurse, police and his very own mom that he was SA. How alone he must've felt! 😭 I wanted to grab him and give him the biggest hug. Thank for the other guy saying that you're not alone. 😢❤
It’s not only the secrets themselves, but the details and vivid stories, even the physicality they shared while telling them that make this so wildly gripping and important. All icons. 💫✨⭐️❤️
It’s really amazing to see men open up and allow themselves to be vulnerable. Men’s mental health is something society doesn’t take into consideration and them being able to reflect and talk about their traumas is an eye opener and a beautiful way to raise awareness to traumas and difficulties that men face. These are the kind of men society needs. Men that can tap into their emotions and take the initiative in healing. Redefine masculinity
I feel for these men. It happens to way too many people. I’m a woman but very very similar experience with being disregarded by even family. Understanding the fact that you never know what someone is going through helped me with the anger. Respect to all these men and anyone else going through hardships. Y’all are strong ❤️
Thank you Jubilee for giving us the conversations everyone needs to hear but never get to You can even tell by watching these men’s facial expression change throughout the video that even they didn’t realize how badly they needed to be in that room and hear a lot of this
One of the most empowering videos of men ever. All about vulnerability and reconciliation with themselves as humans. Rewriting the narrative of the stories of our life is extremely important, although we need to have the tools to know how to do it. We aren't our problems, the problems are just shadows that make us grow overtime when we recognize them. I have met quite a few close people in my life that have been through the same and I can only say, that these experiences have impacted in a massive way to me and I am proudly becoming a dance and somatic therapist. As a teacher and dancer, I found the deepest dark sides of the life of anyone , while working with the body. Teaching kids from early years how to express themselves and be able to say what is acceptable or not, it's one of the aims of my work and it should be for anyone involved with kids. Unfortunately some things are uncontrollable if it happens when drugs are involved, but we need to raise awareness to avoid what has happened to the guy in the video. Empower yourself. Proud of the humans in this video.
Jonathan, I just want you to know that I relate to you. I know how it feels to have all of that anger boiling up inside you and you don't know what to do with it. I actually got to a point where I was scared of myself and what I might do if I ever happened to end up in a situation like yours. It takes a lot of courage to stand up there and take accountability for your actions. And not only to take accountability, but to actually work towards healing. You deserve to show love and compassion to yourself. We all make mistakes, but it takes a strong person to admit them and choose to change. I'm proud of you, and I believe in you. The journey is rough, but the end result is worth it. 💜
Honestly, this video is such a huge change for many men and boys out there. Just letting y’all know that you are heard, you are loved, you will heal and you are enough ❤️
I relate to Johnathan on such a strong level, I endured lists of trauma as a child that I carried as pain that turned in to hate and anger! As somebody who struggles to feel anything for themselves thank you for the encouragement to love and know that we are still worth something. I fight everyday for my family to try and rewrite the thinking I have in my head and heart❤️
This channel seriously does wonders in shedding a light on conversations that aren’t talked about in society, or that are seen as bad or weak conversations to have. Thank you Jubilee for this video. I’m sure many people out there love hearing these words being said.
He got lucky.
I hate to say it, but I was crying listening to some of these stories.
I wish people would take more serious time to listen to other people, and to just accept that bad things happen, and that we can move on from our worst moments and be better. It seems to me that people think that pushing it under the rug, or "it didn't happen" is the best way to deal with these problems, but there's not an action that I think we need done unless we can find that justice, but someone to just hold us together while we're broken, just for a moment.
Na they monetise trauma for clicks lol
@@IIIISai would you monetize your trauma?
If you're assuming this isn't willing or isn't done in a fair way I disagree. However, we can't prove if it is willing or unwilling, or done in bad faith, unless the video poster gives us more detail in how these videos compensate the people on screen or if it's truly just a PSA to bring awareness, so no one has to suffer like they did.
I think your comment is just trying to get attention, or you're just repeating what you hear other people say without knowing why, or you just don't know better.
Now, would you like to add to the conversation?
@@IIIISaino they talk about trauma doing it in silence is the worst thing you can do talking about it helps
As a woman I 100% believe this is what will make society better. Men need this, men need to be able to be emotional and talk about their trauma without being dismissed
Thanksyou
Agreed
This is how we will elevate our vibrations 🙌🏽
❤
As a woman myself, I absolutely agree ❤️ men need to have their own spaces to heal
“I believe you” made me break down in tears. You don’t know how much you really need to hear that until you do.
Very true.
Same, having any kind of SA downplayed simply because you're a boy is incredibly dehumanizing, 35 yrs later and I still have intimacy issues
I believe him too. I will always believe when someone says they have been sexually abused. I am so grateful that 4 stood up for you after you told your secret.
I am so fortunate to have been believed when it happened to me.
so real
When he said his traumatic experiences are not as serious as the others😭 Sir, they are still traumatic. You still went through hardship that played a role into your adulthood. Please don’t ever minimize your experiences.😭 Sending love to all of them!
That is the problem. You have big T trauma and little t trauma, which is way more complex, but has as much as damage afterwards.
exactly, I've been through a lot. on the surface it doesn't seem that bad but the damage it's done and the confusion of trying to understand is paralyzing
It's true because it has and still does cripple him, in ways, every single day. He now has daily anxiety and extra thoughts and fear that never goes away.
Ikr, all I thought of was, it's a different trauma, but still trauma
I actually consider his to be the worst because his trauma trapped him on a similar path and he completely shut himself out from having experiences by avoiding men. I pray this experience probably changed him in some way
Its so fucked up anyone would downplay their own child's abuse regardless of gender.
I feel like people say this online then do the exact opposite in reality
@kylespevak6781 ❤exactly. They want to seem like they can handle the curtain opening but when they think of what it means to open up, they choose to brush it under the rug.
@@Musalia94 & it makes it hurt twice as much because then you feel lied to
He got lucky.
@@kylespevak6781 bingo. It's all virtual virtue signaling.
Nobody taking this man’s SA serious is so heartbreaking especially his mother. Shame on her
He got lucky.
@@Pomni740 what is wrong with you?
If I get done with u, ur not gonna be so lucky. Sit down and stop being so rude.
@@Pomni740 Pomni pfp checks out
people just dont understand SA very well and have pre conceptions that "certain types of people" are immune to SA. It can be anyone. Statistically its overwhelmingly women, but that doesnt mean it cant be you, and you should always be vigilant and careful.
Whatever happens just know that there will ALWAYS be people who will know you are telling the truth and will support you.
I couldn't imagine laughing at someone who said they'd been sexually assaulted. Shame on them!
Well the whole "Me, Too" movement was considered a joke. Society has problems, for sure.
So evil
It has been psychologically proven that people often laugh or smile at moments of shock, or when they are extremely uncomfortable or experiencing anxiety. It does not mean their smiles or laughter were ha ha.
@@PS-qn4ozIt only became a joke when it started targeting innocent people. It was being taken pretty seriously until then and we still see the societal effects of it today.
😢Me too how can a mother Lough at such 😢
"Every time I talk about this its me taking my power back just a little bit more.." Woah, this series is great! Definitely one of the more interesting episodes of this series!
I can’t believe that nurse that decided to laugh at him saying he was SA’ed. You’re in the wrong industry!
He got lucky.
so disgusting.... and his mom too.
Nurses are people are people in general especially women don't take it seriously if a guy says they been assaulted.
@@brandonross8200 Men generally don’t take it seriously either. A lot of men think hooking up with older women when they’re minors is something to brag about. If anything, I see far more women make attempts to explain to men how that’s not okay.
@@SaidByTy I see more women say "men cant be graped" so idk what youre talking about.
I am female and a survivor and I cried so much. I am so sorry that men are not believed. I am so sorry for you and I wish I could hug you. There is something wrong with this world and we should all try to spread more love
I feel you sister
💕
*silent repost (i relate and agree)
Dont be sorry. You have done nothing wrong.
Like men shouldnt universaly apologize for what other men did you shouldnt apologize for the faults of other woman and society.
@נדבישרהוכמן
My friend, I don’t think they mean sorry like “I apologise, for what I’ve done” I think they mean sorry like “this shouldn’t happen to you and I am upset and think it’s wrong that it happened.”
Zach, if you're reading this, i went through the exact same thing with a coworker. I had the same scenario, the same realization the next day, the same denial from those close to me at the time. I had to move, quit jobs, ditch my entire friend group at the time, and it still didn't feel enough. it's been over 10 years, and things DID get better. your pain is real, what you went through is real, and you DO NOT have to go through this alone.
I'm very sorry that happened to you
So sorry that happened to you. Thanks for sharing, your feelings are valid and im so proud of you.
I am so sorry 😞 😔 hugs and prayers goes out to you. This is awful.
I’m so so sorry. Thank you for sharing your story with us. I’m so happy to hear that things have gotten better for you. Wishing you the best because I understand that it’s always going to be a journey of healing🩵
its so funny how yall take sa towards men so serious but j9oke about it when it comes to females
Hearing the gentleman saying when he said he was raped he was blown off so many times and laughed at hurts me so much. I’ve never been through anything like that but I cannot imagine the pain he felt.
He got lucky.
@@Pomni740 wdym he got lucky?
@@terecitanevarez2905 he says that on every comment like this. just ignore it.
yeah its unfortunate that male on male and female on male is viewed as comedy by media
"blown off" is diabolical
“I’m standing up now because my generation really needs it” i literally started bawling
You and me both, homie.
That broke my heart
Why won’t people take mens SA seriously?? I’ll never understand. Strength and love to the guy with the navy shirt
Because so many people believe that men always just want to have sex. It’s played down as a “ohh you were just nervous” or “an attractive girl/guy touched you. You’re lucky” and people brush it off as a joke. It creates this feeling of Men can’t be victims. It’s a shame that so many men go thru such things and no one cares.
@@_heyitsyves201preach brother 🤝🏽
Well society don’t really care about men’s issues.
they don't take women's SA seriously either.. i see people, mostly men, laughing, disrespecting and disregarding r*pe, domestic ab*se, harrassement..ect all the time! and this says a lot about us as a society, and as a species even. sad af.
MEN don't take others men's problems seriously in general, especially when it comes to SA
“Therapy is a lovely start”. Im proud of these men for starting.
Same
Lets give a raise to whoever thought this video up.
Facts!!! 😂😂💯💯
Absolutely! What an amazing video and video concept
Absolutely! 🙏
We need more like this.
Yes, absolutely!!!
1 in 6 men reported having being sexually assaulted but we must factor the fact that most men who are sexually assaulted never reported it. So I personally believe that number is bigger. I must also say some people do not deserve the gift of a child. A mother telling her son to not mention the abuse needs to be locked up as well as the abuser. My heart goes out to these victims.
And you can forget about men who get sexually assaulted by women getting taken seriously in this messed up world. It's so sad that in almost every sense, men SA is dismissed
I imagine kiddie diddlers and SA are at the root of origins of homophobic hate. Especially when LGBTQ was way more socially despised and thus no one would present outwardly... if that was your only known interaction with homosexuality you'd think everyone who was gay was an enemy
@AlexClayland1232 It's important that we don't blame women for this. I'm not saying that is what you're doing, but I think it opened up a conversation that this comment section really needed, considering most of these laws, privileges and whatever are also imposed by men which are degrading to both men and women. It's sad that men played a big part in developing the very system that oppresses them
@AlexClayland1232 that law sucks, but note how the rapists talked about in this video as well as a large majority of those who commit SA are men. So yes, it is important to recognize that women can be the offender and it's really important to talk about male victims HOWEVER what is a problem on a STRUCTURAL level is men's violence which is extremely common and something men and women suffer from... So when women talk about the problem the men should listen and fix it because they will benefit too!
@AlexClayland1232 So, who do you think put those laws in place if not men? It's not like the government is riddled with women pulling the strings. The government shouldn't be "favoring" anyone. Sure, some people need accommodations, but overall, everyone should be equal, and biases are all ultimately problematic in terms of governing. Real feminism is about equal rights for all
As a therapist that works with boys and men, I'm overjoyed that these men stepped up and shared their stories. It gives others a path forward to do the same. Thank you for prioritizing men's mental health and mental health in general, Jubilee.
i love how these men just talked. it shows that this is probably the first time they’ve had this space to let it out. i hope they all know how heard they are and i cherish the vulnerability they’ve shown. this video will change so many peoples lives ❤
The world would be a better place if men did this more often.
@@Nonya12608 it wouldnt...
@@learnnd3243thank u someone with common sense 😂
He got lucky.
Yes it would, less traumatized men, less men repeating what they've done to them @@learnnd3243
My ex told me he was touched at a young age by woman. He just laughed and felt like nothing was wrong. I feel bad for him because I can only imagine how many men were also molested by women but think it’s okay because it’s a woman
If you don't mind me asking why did you two break up?
@@rithvikmuthyalapati9754 Curious too because there are men who share and get isolated or dumped by their partner.
@@tupums You're hoping they respond in a way that affirms your bias when it's none of your business lol.
@@tupumsexactly why my secrets will go with me to the grave.
@@jpraise6771that's unhealthy though. You just have to find someone you know you can trust.
As a woman who holds a lot of stigma against men that’s is unfairly generalized due to past experiences, this was an amazingly eye opening video, and I really appreciate this content because I realized a lot of things about men but also myself and where my views are skewed and how they might perpetuate some of these issues talked about today
Others would never say what you said here. I appreciate you for saying/sharing this
Always happy to see people learning and growing. I hope you will make space for the men in your life to be more emotionally vulnerable with you. I'm sure they would appreciate your love and support.
I appreciate this more than you know...
I've realized as I get older that it really is a vicious cycle
men are hurting women and other men
women are hurting men and other women
and the resentments we form when we aren't loved or acknowledged create bitter people
bitter desperate people who perpetuate the cycle of abuse
I think gradually working through our traumas and learning that people are people
not only a demographic
is the only way we can ultimately come together and learn, grow, heal, and fix the issues we're ALL suffering from...
Women when they realize men are people too:
No; collectively we want you to still choose the bear.
what kind of a mother tells his son to hide the abuses he suffered?
A bad one
Too many of them
@@evepoole3966
That's a lot of moms. 😂
Ever been to India?
Most of them ...women care more about social status than people.
You'd be surprised how many
Ramiro saying he'd never experienced a discussion like this and would always remember it was so bittersweet
I would really love to see this becoming a long series.
The more men see other men openly share their traumatic experiences and struggles, the more attention we can lead to men's mental health.
Thank you for the video
Same
Jubilee is a fabulous space for all different issues. Look them up.
Its healing for the rest of us too!
I agree
15:09 "I was molested, raped, and sexually assaulted by four of my VERY CLOSE FRIENDS". I had to rewind several times to make sure I heard that correctly. What kind of a "close friend" does this!!?? What kind of world are we living in???
People are most often raped by the people closest to them.
@@courtadbobtail600but 4 times?
@@Aubrey2004-j4k Yes, I can tell you read my comment but somehow it feels like you didn't.
Trans men are especially susceptible to this. It's awful.
@Planck944 yeah unfortunately these things are usually done by people the victim knows and you can't see it coming. there are a lot of awful people
Im a male who was molested and SA more than once.
Im 35 now and Ive only now talked about it.
You got lucky.
I am really sorry you had to go through that. I think it is very brave of you to talk about it! Thank you for sharing! I hope you are doing okay :)
@@Pomni740go away. stop leaving these comments on everyone else's comment.
I believe in you and deeply sorry you went through that … You are so precious all you deserve is kindness and respect and I hope you will find peace despite what some ugly souls have done to you … You are so so precious 👼
@@Pomni740 tf you mean lucky? Tf is wrong with you?
"I'm not in danger and I don't have to fight anymore" 😢 relatable AF
Mens mental health really needs more attention
Big facts
But women will always receive it/ask for more
@@kylespevak6781??? What are you trying to say?
@@ivanmunoz4734 I think he has a point he is displaying it in a wrong way its like how women are more prone to talking about their own mental health in compairision to men due to societal standards
Over the years, I've seen this topic really get a realization effect, like men are people too, that we do have feelings, back when I was younger, the "experts" had no idea what to do so they blamed the person who had the problem and gave such sage advice as "just need to get a job" and "just stop feeling that way"
These moments are EXTREMELY necessary for whichever gender but mostly men. It’s beautiful to see that when opening up you make people think about their own decisions in life.
When I was 7 I was molested by one of my mom’s friends. She was hot and I thought I was lucky. I should have told my mom but at the time I was scared and embarrassed. I’ve buried the secret for years because my father is a traditional military dad. He has ptsd and would sometimes take it out on whatever or whoever is around him. I think that having that trauma is what made me become a violent angry and resenting person. I’ve only told my brother and he laughed and I hated him for it but looking back at it he probably thought I was joking or that it couldn’t happen to men.
I’m really sorry that’s not ok at all ❤
Similar thing happened to me but when I was 4...it was a grown woman and I kept it hidden from everyone because I thought I did something wrong...Even till to this day, I have nightmares every month or so where I am always a little boy being chased by a woman and a lot of the times, she gets me in my nightmares...
Sending you a hug and much healing 😢
So sorry to hear… I often heard from men that they don’t really see it as abuse because it was a woman or even a „pretty“ woman. But abuse is abuse. Being a woman myself, abuse by women IS abuse. Talk to a therapist, or someone that will listen. Don’t carry it around you as a secret. 🙏🏽 much strength
You didn't deserve to have been abused as a child, and I have heard stories about men being molested by their mothers' friends.
I just wanted to say thank you to Eric for such a strong way of stating how to move past anger. It is so easy to tap into as a means to drive you, but it's so fickle. Anger was my fuel for such a long time. I actually welled up hearing how to move past that anger put in such a beautiful way.
No joke, I think this will be my favorite category on this channel. I really appreciate that many different men share their stories so that you can personally get a different perspective on problems. And at the same time you have the opportunity to break down stereotypes and prejudices in a protected atmosphere, without the focus of judgment.
There you can simply be yourself.
I would be happy to see more episodes!
"You are just hurt, and you are caring a lot of pain." Wise words it made cry
Is it even legal for a nurse to just straight up gaslight a patient about something that they're stating happened DID NOT happened when the nurse was never there?!
I sure hope it is!
It happens all the time, unfortunately. Even when an abuser gets through the process of reporting at a hospital, they often get the same levels of gaslighting from the cops.
@@sleepy-peepy This is one of the many reasons I've started volunteering as a SART support worker, to help provide some emotional support to those who need it. Even if it's a small amount of people and in a small way. Because I will always believe a survivor.
I don’t know if it’s illegal but it is HIGHLY unethical. Regardless of whether she believed him a kit should have been offered as well as a referral to a counselor or psychologist. Even a blood test to see if there were traces of drugs in his system could have been done. By her brushing it off he lost the opportunity to have the evidence to press charges which could have made all the difference for him.
praying she loses her license
it’s so awful hearing that zach had the courage to disclose to TWO people, including a nurse IN A HOSPITAL and was brushed off both times. his opportunity to grow and heal through support from others in that moment was stolen from him.
@annihilam3408can u blame him… he said hes trying but yeah its messed up
womp womp
@annihilam3408Did you stop listening as soon as he said it?!?!? He explained why he felt that way and how it's affected him. This weird cultist mentality some of you have is shocking.
@annihilam3408 He's having a PTSD reaction that he can't regulate. He's still in the zone of the trauma being active. He may be able to handle reaching out when he's beyond it, but what he's experiencing is common for the level of trauma he went through. It's not irrelevant; rather it's a measure of how unsafe the trauma still is in his psyche.
@annihilam3408women that were SA by men have a hard time being near men (any men) afterwards too, let alone sleeping in the same room as one. they are not the ones that did it, but they are a constant reminder of the ones that did (their mannerisms, their tone of voice, their scent, anything..)
I feel so heartbroken for these men but also so incredibly impressed that they voiced their secrets and the amazing empathy and care they showed to each other. Made me cry. I hope they can heal and have supportive people in their life. The incredible bravery and vulnerability is incredible. I want to give a hug to each of these men
Every single story made me cry. I'm so proud of these men.
He got lucky.
@@Pomni740 who are you?
@@Pomni740 what is ur problem?
I want to give every one of these guys a huge hug for being so brave.
Everyone has been abused, assaulted, or raped...yet no one ever owns this touching. Nothing will ever change without restorative justice to break the cycles. There has to be a route for abusers to take accountability or there will only be more victims.
Exactly!
I highly recommend watching Dr Gabor mate on trauma and our toxic society he goes in depth on this
As a fellow Male victim of SA I must urge everyone to overestimate the stats present on the issue. So many men experience this without reporting it, or not even understanding that what they experienced with SA. Thank you Jubliee for giving these men a platform to share this terrifyingly relatable secret.
This!! I know a few men who came to me in private about a situation like that and they never told anyone. It’s sad
I’m sorry
Stay strong. I believe you.
Johnathan's story was so powerful, we never get to see what life's like for people that have served time for violent crimes. They're forever branded as criminals and society thinks of them as barely human. But it's refreshing to see someone who's reformed and doing well. We see a lot of stories of victims but rarely the stories of perpetrators of a crime.
I hope I'm analyzing this wrong but that smirk when he said "sorry mom" kinda gives me the vibe that he thinks it's cool to have that backstory. "People look at me and think I'm harmless I'm not a tough guy".... Ok?? Idk probably just me
How much of a victim do you have to be to become a perpetrator
He got lucky.
@@Sa_Tatum yeah i agree , feels like he's proud of what he did and isnt too serious , however considering his pasy its maybe how he is
I was quite taken aback by this story/announcement, and I find him rather eerie...
I'm a young woman but each one of these men's stories had me in tears- like full blown crying, had to get a tissue. Men need spaces to open up and be vulnerable to heal from the impact they carry from all their troubled experiences.
The courage it takes to share these stories, and the heartbreak of hearing their pain and struggles, this was a really touching episode. What I love about this episode, and like the others in this series in particular, is the way everyone validates one another, gives empathy, and provides space for one another. I hope other men who have experienced similar situations can feel the same validation and feeling of not being alone.
And to those who do feel alone or don't feel safe enough to talk through it yet just know that you're not alone, your experiences and feelings are valid, and that there are people who are by your side to support you - both now and if/when you are ready to talk.
Victim is a social status as this point 😂
@@Thegreatblazingsun You just proved the point.
This just shows how much men's feelings are invalidated. Others have to acknowledge that they're also human beings.
Yes!! And it's from the start when a parent says "boys shouldn't cry". If you are reading this as a parent break the cycle!!
@@NyathZzZz that's what I plan to do. when I can finally have these conversations with him (he's 3) it'll be a very emotion conversation where i'll probably end up crying and showingi how angry I was an what that path of self destruction did to my life. I'm almost 30 an i've probably cried more this past year than I have in my entire life.
Exactly 📌 as a woman who watched this through. I cried 😩
@lucaschalard2838to men! Take accountability
@@BriaBriaaaaa I cried too, there were certain moments that made me teleport to my past
The eye contact of the blue stripped shirt made me cry. The strength to confront confrontation and not look away is just something to behold. Thank you for sharing you have given a lot for the world to think about. We can only hope that this internal discussion leads to self reflection and improvement ❤
I think more men are sexually assaulted than we know. It's sad that it is so prevalent and sad to think about the men who do speak up, only to not receive validation, empathy or for the justice system to investigate. I have dated several men who shared with me that they were touched by friends or family at home growing up or in college at parties, and never told anyone. They still live with it but there was never any justice.
It’s heartbreaking
It disturbed my soul as well.😢😢😢😢
Most of their perpetrators are men too
@@kosinneji9602 yeah but it doesn't help that female on male rape is used as a joke by most media nor does it help to say stuff like "most of their perpetrators are men too"
@@SomethingInteresting-nw2um but it's true though...? like 98% of male SA is by men...if we want to prevent male SA, it starts with men and not getting butthurt by that statistic. no one's blaming men, it's about fixing the problem. it's not going to magically go away by ignoring the root of the issue.
The SA conversation makes me want to cry. Because the fact they don’t feel comfortable reporting these crimes because of the way men are treated. It makes me so sad.
I was also M* when I was younger and when I finally told my mom she made me feel valid and called the cops and reported it but NOTHING ever happened to the person… but yearssss later he was murdered and I was happy… karma did her job. Also yearsss after they died, my mother (who is crazy) decided to tell people I made up the entire story.. also told that persons kids, my brother and sister that I lied…. I did not want to tell them because they are too young to understand, to comprehend.
You are not alone. 🖤
y’all act like female victims get protected or prioritized. they don’t.
@@kunpunko are you referring to me when you say “ya’ll”?
I'm so confused. The same mother that reported your SA when you were younger was the same mother that invalidated you after you grew up? Did she undergo mental degradation?
love this comment so much
@@kunpunko Someone with knowledge of law here, yes they DO!
The first guy hit way too hard. I applaud him, and all of these men, for their courage to step forward and claim their experiences. These conversations are so important, and we really need to remember the humanity behind people we talk to. ESPECIALLY the people who are different from us
Unfiltered honesty is what we need in this current world we live in. Unfortunately, I don't think people will be 100% honest in front of millions of potential people.
No one is 100% honest, we aren t even 100 to ourselves
@@andreeaciurescu9942 exactly🙁
Not the "women rank men by size" recommendation at the end 😭😭
Give the poison, sell the cure. Classic @jubilee
In bad taste
I'm playing both sides so I can always come out with more money -jubilee
I had a men hair growth commercial. It just feels so insensitive after watching this.
Jubilee seemed to have made you laugh at that irony. Great support for men
MORE of this PLEASE Jubilee! This was incredibly healing, insightful & inspiring. It changed my perspective as a woman & mother IMMENSELY, plan to share it with both my son & daughter. I've never ever seen men talk like this & I think its really important for society that we see more things like this that teach us all to have more empathy & humanity for each other & ourselves ❤️ Amazing work Jubilee, keep it up!
never going to happen. you did not listen carefully, making content like this broadcasted to the world cheapens their experience to be judge across the internet . conversations like this should be face to face with us the world listening.
these men are brave and strong for sharing what they went through. they are seen, heard, and loved.
He got lucky.
@@Pomni740wdym?
Bro Johnathan’s story is so important. It’s so easy to write off people as horrible people when they deal with anger problems. People are so scared of them nobody wants to talk or show them any love.
i thought the same thing like he was so brave for that
it's truly beautiful to see how much more comfortable people become when they're surrounded by others who have struggled in similar ways and are vulnerable about it. everyone needs this, but i think seeing men do this was especially important. men need more of this. more vulnerability, more community, more love. our world could be so much better with a little more love.
As a nurse and a mom, i just want to say to the SA victim, I am so sorry they treated you that way. It is ALWAYS important to take SA allegations from men and women both alike seriously and with compassion. ESPECIALLY YOU'RE OWN CHILDREN! She does not represent what a nurse in your situation was supposed to be for you and im so sorry 😔
Meh. Its obvious - female nurses need additional standards to follow, under criminal penalties if the dont, to safeguard men from their potential misandric toxicity.Words are not alone - we expect actions destructive enough for each and every woman in the field to be in fear. Only then we can be sure they will not offend.
This is why it is so so important to always find ways for your male (in this case) friends to feel like they have a safe space with you and to know that their experiences are just as valid, just as serious as everyone else’s. No one deserves to feel as though they need to keep their traumas and their feelings locked up because of others. We all deserve the space to be vulnerable and open without feeling shame
He got lucky.
@@Pomni740grow up
I remember reading something about Linkin Park’s “Crawling” having been written by Chester about his being taken advantage of sexually by a guy he knew. That song depicted his suffering from that incident, where he was frustrated that he could not tell anyone in fear that he would not be heard. I think we should create more safe spaces for men so their voices can be heard.
I never knew that backstory. It just shows how much he struggled. Rip Chester ❤
“This is how you free yourself and this is how you free those behind you that are terrified”. As a woman who has a lot of men in her life that she looks up to/claims as loved ones, this was a blessing to watch in its entirety. It allows me to understand what a portion of men are dealing with internally. Your experiences are completely your own. And your circumstances are not the same. But we all as a species seem to relate so much regardless. It’s beautiful to hear your truths. This shii hit differenttttt’!!!!!!!!
Watching this video I thought if something I don't typically think of. The statistics of SA cases, 97% of predators never see any form of punishment, its 1/6 men that get SA'd and 1/3 women that get SA'd. these are INSANE numbers, LITERALY INSANE. Those are so many people with that type of trauma it is INSANE. It is just horribly insane how many people are victims of SA myself included and still convictions rates are so low its laughable for all the wrong reasons.
Disgusting statistics all around. As a victim myself, I find myself not wanting to be in a world where it’s so common, and just as bad that so many predators get away with it. Living with the hypervigilance, anxiety, and the debilitating fear of men is hardly a life at all. Anyway my heart goes out to you, I hope you find some peace and healing
@@sav44474 I agree with you the world sucks when it comes to these things. I hope you find peace and healing too
Men should allowed to be vulnerable, feeling, and authentic. When men express themselves differently they are often labeled homosexual. They should have the space to be authentic without labels of sexuality. I want my sons to have male friends they can discuss personal topics with without shame. I enjoyed this video.
11:05 this made me cry. I’m so so sorry! It’s disgusting how people don’t take rape seriously especially when it comes to men. Normal people don’t just say they were freaking raped. If someone says that, it’s serious. That stuffs not a freaking joke. I’m so sorry and the monster who did that to you, who took away your freewill deserves to be punished to the highest degree. Just know your feelings are valued, however much time you need you take it. It’s horrifying that a person, so many people could do something so dehumanizing and horrible.
in most media male on male and female on male rape is used as comedy it just goes to show how common it is for it to not be taken seriously
I am a therapist who just graduated with my masters in counseling. While in the diagnosis class of my program, we began going over excoriation/dermatillomania. I had just learned that what I had done for so many years that I was so ashamed of was a thing and had a name just a few months prior to us talking about it in class. I was dreading the day we were going to talk about it. Then suddenly, one of my friends in my cohort named that she was going to be brave and shared that she had excoriation. I suddenly felt so much less alone in that struggle than I had ever felt before in my life. And before I knew it, I found myself saying that she wasn’t alone and that I had it too. We cried and hugged and our professor cried too. That’s what happens when you have so many empathetic therapists in one room lol. It was one of the most freeing moments of my life. And that is why I think videos like this are so special.
I would love to see a video of people revealing their mental illnesses that they feel ashamed of having and discussing their experience with it. There are so many stereotypes about mental illness and I would love to hear from actual people who experience them. A lot of people live totally normal lives with things like schizophrenia yet are made out to be “crazy” in certain contexts like tv shows.
It took me years to find out the name for dermatillomania. I used to have a Tumblr account. I saw a girl with the same chest scars as myself.
I asked what she had she said dermatillomania. It took 25 years to finally have a name for it. It was a breath of fresh air to finally find someone who went through the same thing.
It took me so long to find a name for it, my mom would take me to the doctors because of all of the rings and scabs on my legs and arms, people thought I was burning myself with cigarettes as a form of self harm. It moved from my legs and arms to only my face and my acne and I still struggle with it today but it is not as serious as it was
I used to do this and I have a friend who currently struggles with it but she sees a dermatologist and wears gloves.
This makes me so happy to see these men open up. As a women in my life I have met many men who’ve opened up to me about these same topics. I’ve seen the internal and external damage it can do to men, generation’s, and relationships. Many hold it in and don’t feel like others care to hear or help. Find those you can trust and open up. You deserve to be heard, validated, safe, happy, and healthy.❤
My heart broke, I hate this world
I pray these men find love and healing and peace
I’m so sorry for what they have went through.
So so proud of them.
they found the courage to be vulnerable
Men don't have it on easy mode just because we're men, we need each other and we need love too. Don't be afraid to speak your hearts, you're not alone.
You don't have easy mode. You have easier mode
Both genders experienced similar/different things. We should all speak out.
@AlexClayland1232Did you mean that women have it easier or not? I'm not sure if your comment needed punctuation or not.
@AlexClayland1232 bro some women have it harder then men and some men have it harder then women its not a competition and both genders have their different struggles
@AlexClayland1232and this is why people will never take men seriously. Because of men like you who make it into a competition on who has it worst. Everyone struggles. We all struggle the same and even differently.
We can't know or judge someone fully, and this is a huge example of why. We're not actually called upon to judge as much as we might reflexively get trained and triggered to. I see far too much prejudice in various spaces of society and always have. Seeing the people willing to push past that anyway is awesome.
Thankyou for your courage and honesty.
THIS is bravery and courage. Speaking openly, showing vulnerability, and having compassion. I hope these men can continue to take these conversations they’ve experienced, and model this level of compassion & transparency within their own circles. Men do deserve love and kindness, to be treated with respect and dignity, and to be BELIEVED. 💕💛
Johnathan testimony gave me chills. I've done things I'm not proud of and I'm still searching for my own mercy and self
Love . Thank you Johnathan .
please, we need more videos like this. i've felt so much pain because of not being able to control my anger a few times as a young adult. i was constantly ashamed of myself, having nightmares about what i did, hiding from others hoping they'd never get to know the "real me", ended up suicidal and depressed. it is such a relief to hear other men share the same experiences and to see i'm not alone in this. the worst part is feeling like you have to hide what you did because otherwise everyone will see you as a bad person or a villain
The tension and abuse between genders throughout the world can be helped by understanding, validation, compassion. Common invalidations towards women sound like “oh you’re just doing it for attention” or “you’re being dramatic” and for men it can sound like “you sound like a whimp” or just stone silence. Everyone needs to be heard because our past traumas can deeply impact others. It’s all to easy to yell “well what about me?!” when we see a group of people being noticed, and I get that. But don’t take their moments of healing away from them. Be patient and you can find your paths to healing. I’m so proud of the progress that humans have made in the world. We have so much ahead of us and I have hope that we’ll collectively become more humane :)
Womp womp
@@cyrusfilemu659 nobody loves you
This was a great episode and I hope it’s healing for many men. I didn’t realize 1 in 6 men are sexually assaulted. That’s alarming. You aren’t alone. I was drugged and sexually assaulted multiple times before I was 25. It affected me so much that I isolated myself for years. I don’t even have memories of what happened but it still affects me to this day. I think anyone who goes through this experience deserves grace, understanding and validation. I’m a woman and I believe you. I’m so proud of all of you for sharing your story.
omfg im so sorry you had to go through that you are insanely strong and thank you for sharing
Bro why do women always talk about themselves after men issues are talked about. Like y’all women’s issues are talked about every day not men’s issues
@@maikeruxo9569 ???? Because she related to the men and wanted to tell them they're not alone and they have support? Surely you're not actually that obtuse? Wow.
and many more men are victims, not just 1 in 6. Its just that law, especially feminism-pushed law, says, in most cases, that its only a crime if the victim is female, or when perpetrator is male. Female-on-male crime is mostly stated to be empowerment and her using her societal rights.
What a great empathetic comment that definitely adds to the discussion! Xdd @@maikeruxo9569
I'm so happy these men felt comfortable enough to be vulnerable and share their stories. They're amazing people and I hope they're all doing great
It is seriously disheartening to see how many people are using the courage of these men as a way to put down women in these comments. Instead of spreading hate and bitterness, let's celebrate the progress we're making as a society and talk about the strength of the people in this video.
It shouldn't be about either of those things. It about showing empathy. If some dude was talking about losing his arm in a war would you comment about celebrating? No, the point is these people are struggling and they need people to actually care about them, not celebrate them talking.
Exactly. There was another video where women had done this same video and women just uplifted one another without bringing men down in the comments! These men should be supported, not used as a step stool for misogyny.
@@surislife funny i seen a couple comments doing the exact opposite of that same video. Men are always bashed by women online. Men respond and men get bitter but then theyre seen as the problem. Nobody cares what yall say anymore. Youre not the innocent ppl u claim to be
Totally, that's a great opportunity to discuss how to make the life of the guys in our lives better, emotionally, and people wanna turn it into a gender war, like, who does it help? Who benefits from this?
Always gender politcs just enjoy the video
Albert standing up made me sob… knowing how many men didn’t stand up or don’t stand up shows how much of a stigma on male victims is so prominent and needs to be discussed and brought up and conversations like this are the stepping stone for breaking those barriers! thank you all for sharing 💗
I believe you Zach, and I'm sorry that the people in your life and the justice system failed you. I hope you can heal, I hope all these men can heal ❤️
He got lucky.
cry bout it
@@Pomni740i see you comment on alot of video’s saying this. What do you mean by it?..
This is why Jubilee will always be my favourite channel on youtube. These are things that need to be talked about, things that need to be brought up to empower other people and let them know that they are not alone. The men in this video had to gather up so much courage to share their stories with the world and I am forever grateful for this.
My mother has done the same thing , I also went through something similar how ever I was SA for a year by my own family. And I’ve only just come out about it, and my mothers response was selfish . Very similar situation I told my mother three years ago and she brushed it under the carpet . So I genuinely understand the statement of “ Every time I tell my story, I take my power back”
I'm so sorry hun, I hope you are healing rn❤. people are just so evil and disgusting.
When he said “I believe you,” I started crying.
I found myself tearing up with Zach, I really feel for his story and admire his courage to come forward
WOW. What a powerful group of strong men who have helped heal some of the pain many carry. If I were in that room, I would be proud and honored to hug and affirm everyone's experience. Continued success, men!
Im proud of these men for speaking up and for having tough conversations .
i went to church recently and the lesson at the end was on forgiveness. there is a difference between forgiveness and forgetting. just because you forgive someone does not mean you’ll welcome them back to the table. and that’s something i never really put together w/ the forgive and forget. i always felt you had to forgive the person and forget their wrong doings !! you should never forget what they did wrong but you should forgive them for you own self, forgive them for your growth, the change, the lesson, the strength, and then let them go. if that means they never come back into your life again so be it because you did what you had to do to let it go!
I'm glad that all of them stood up and talked about their secrets and I hope that they diminish the pain and lessen the weight of not ever talking about it, even for a little bit, and speaking up on the show, I feel very proud of them.
These are the types of videos that can be therapy for guys that are too afraid to seek the help professionally. Well done, Jubilee.
People are too judgmental to be honest with.
So true
What's an example?
@@michaelplauche9901men tend to be toxic with friends as a joke yk and that says enough
tell that you dont like lgbt on reddit you get banned. Its insane how much power this group has.
Nah. You people are too quick to "cancel"
(Not you specifically)
I just want to give them all a big hug! 😢 They (and many other men) have gone through so much and don't deserve the invalidation they get when they share something that truly hurt them. I wish that each of you are able to find a safe place to be vulnerable and find true healing, peace, and closure.
everyone who participated in this video has so much love and strength inside of them. thank you for sharing your stories
full on sobbing at the guys story about being roofied and SA’d. Can’t breathe, im so hurt for you, I feel for you. I hope you look back on this version of you one day when you’re loved and you can love
Thank you for sharing. My heart cried when the guy who told the nurse, police and his very own mom that he was SA. How alone he must've felt! 😭 I wanted to grab him and give him the biggest hug. Thank for the other guy saying that you're not alone. 😢❤
we live in a world of lies, so people who believe those lies go into shock and denial when faced with the reality of the world 😑
It’s not only the secrets themselves, but the details and vivid stories, even the physicality they shared while telling them that make this so wildly gripping and important. All icons.
💫✨⭐️❤️
It’s really amazing to see men open up and allow themselves to be vulnerable. Men’s mental health is something society doesn’t take into consideration and them being able to reflect and talk about their traumas is an eye opener and a beautiful way to raise awareness to traumas and difficulties that men face. These are the kind of men society needs. Men that can tap into their emotions and take the initiative in healing. Redefine masculinity
I feel for these men. It happens to way too many people. I’m a woman but very very similar experience with being disregarded by even family. Understanding the fact that you never know what someone is going through helped me with the anger. Respect to all these men and anyone else going through hardships. Y’all are strong ❤️
Thank you Jubilee for giving us the conversations everyone needs to hear but never get to
You can even tell by watching these men’s facial expression change throughout the video that even they didn’t realize how badly they needed to be in that room and hear a lot of this
One of the most empowering videos of men ever. All about vulnerability and reconciliation with themselves as humans. Rewriting the narrative of the stories of our life is extremely important, although we need to have the tools to know how to do it. We aren't our problems, the problems are just shadows that make us grow overtime when we recognize them. I have met quite a few close people in my life that have been through the same and I can only say, that these experiences have impacted in a massive way to me and I am proudly becoming a dance and somatic therapist. As a teacher and dancer, I found the deepest dark sides of the life of anyone , while working with the body. Teaching kids from early years how to express themselves and be able to say what is acceptable or not, it's one of the aims of my work and it should be for anyone involved with kids. Unfortunately some things are uncontrollable if it happens when drugs are involved, but we need to raise awareness to avoid what has happened to the guy in the video. Empower yourself. Proud of the humans in this video.
“Everytime I talk about this it’s like I get my power back a lil more” YASSSS YASSS THANK YOU FOR PUTTING IT INTO WORDS FOR ME
Jonathan, I just want you to know that I relate to you. I know how it feels to have all of that anger boiling up inside you and you don't know what to do with it. I actually got to a point where I was scared of myself and what I might do if I ever happened to end up in a situation like yours. It takes a lot of courage to stand up there and take accountability for your actions. And not only to take accountability, but to actually work towards healing. You deserve to show love and compassion to yourself. We all make mistakes, but it takes a strong person to admit them and choose to change. I'm proud of you, and I believe in you. The journey is rough, but the end result is worth it. 💜
Honestly, this video is such a huge change for many men and boys out there. Just letting y’all know that you are heard, you are loved, you will heal and you are enough ❤️
These men were all so brave. It takes real guts to stand up there and be so open. Respect to them all.
Society is slowly advancing towards a world where men feel safe to share and express their darkest secrets and buried feelings
this. we are here for it 🤍
and we all have been waiting for this!
It's really not. In fact, it's the opposite. Just ask women. Men sharing feelings or worse crying is the #1 'ICK'.
Not really, on social media all you see is people flaming men lmao. Maybe if we get rid of social media we can have a better world.
@@wekurtz72 Every single woman I know is a strong advocate for men to fully express their emotions. You are blinded by the bad things you see online.
I relate to Johnathan on such a strong level, I endured lists of trauma as a child that I carried as pain that turned in to hate and anger! As somebody who struggles to feel anything for themselves thank you for the encouragement to love and know that we are still worth something. I fight everyday for my family to try and rewrite the thinking I have in my head and heart❤️