it seems kind of like he heavily relies on Alden and that type of burden can be super heavy for a best friend that is their main moral support and "hope" in humanity
"Leave your masculinity at the door and let those feelings fly" i don't like how we separate emotions with being masculine, theyre not mutually exclusive!! Men can be masculine and talk about how they feel! Its toxic to separate them
I saw a study showing that the belief that masculinity has a negative effect on behavior is linked to worse mental well-being. I think this is linked to people who consider masculinity as toxic or something like that It is the type of people who say the statement said in the video probably.
this may sound bad but i feel like this was heavily focus on grant’s and aldens friendships which isn’t a bad thing but i feel like they could’ve made the video longer so we could hear from others and we barely heard from emmanuel and christian
I wish the presenter hasn’t said ‘leave your masculinity at the door’ to signify they’re about to get vulnerable. There’s nothing wrong with masculinity.
Yeah and why tf is everyone here gay or bi like jubilee is trying to hard to be inclusive to the point where they are including all gay men I literally heard 7 people say they were gay
@daquonsimmons8240 _Hmmm ..._ perhaps it all boils down to the statistical tendencies of certain demographic groupings, whom are _(on average)_ more or less proactive about these rather 'nontraditional' learning opportunities; for expanding social awareness/challenging emotional situations, which ultimately inspires higher degrees of personal growth amongst those like-minded individuals? *-- and thus, another online community is born on RUclips* 😉lol
I'm shocked at how many people think Grant is in love with Alden. He definitely loves him but all his comments just rang as someone seeing the friendship change once the other gets in a relationship with someone you don't really enjoy.
20:52 I understand exactly what grant is trying to say. When your brain becomes used to one emotion (long periods of sadness) the brain puts it in your comfort zone. It becomes your comfort emotion so whenever you're happy it's something out of your comfort zone which obviously does not feel great.
Yeah, exactly. I’ve been depressed and sad my whole life so it’s definitely comforting. When I’m “happy” or feel decent, it feels uncomfortable and weird and unnatural. But the way Grant explained it was also more than that like there is a poetic beauty to being sad as well. To feeling those emotions and looking at everything from that perspective is almost more deep and contemplative and raw? If that makes sense
Oh wow thank you for that perspective. I never thought of that before but it makes perfect sense. I know the 'you're scared to be happy because you think something will go wrong (like it always does)' thing but not that happiness itself as an emotion makes you uncomfortable because you're not used to it. But yes @smokey Grant was also talking about the whole 'tortured artist' thing
The moment he said he was a writer, it made soo much sense because I could relate as a fellow writer. Some of the best writing comes from negative emotions like sadness.
@@Yoyomeyo This applies to many situations. Really any "normal" thing that you're not familiar with but everyone else is. I cry and completely shut down when someone wishes me a happy birthday because I never ever celebrated it and it's become something I avoid because I don't know how to enjoy myself and have a nice day. It's much harder to learn these things as an adult because now it's a conscious decision. As a child you just go along.
i totally got what he was saying but that’s how i used to feel when i was unmedicated and in some of the biggest depression stages of my life. bro definitely does need help and i hope he is able to seek it 🥺
Orin and Jeremy’s matching jackets 🥹 their friendship was my fav, but overall, I loved that we got the men perspective of this because we rarely see that in social media
a lot of people who sleepwalk do things besides just walk. my brother’s friend one time sleepwalked into the kitchen and peed in the garbage can. totally unconscious and on accident, it happens.
Grant and Alden having such a long past is honestly so rare these days. Usually people drift away after school or during college but these two were stuck together until just recently it seems. I'm so jealous of this
sometimes they’re your only friend you’ve ever had so it’s difficult to lose them because you’ll have no one so you just put up with it same thing goes for some relationships
Totally, especially when he says now that the distance between him and Alden have widened ( perhaps due to Alden getting married ), and how Grant is more cynical whenever he is not near to Alden, it says a lot.
If grant is going to make aiden choose between him and his wife he is going to find himself cut out of their life. In fact admitting he doesn't like her is the beginning of the end even the guy next time was like wtf
20:52 people will say negative things about this but Grant is so real for this. I’m mentally ill and I hate being sad and wish to be happy but when I do feel remotely close to happy, I feel disgusting.
@@alovehotel what kind of house hold were you raised in? My gay cousin is the exact same way Grant is and I wonder if there's some correlation with how they were raised.
@@whatoh3407 it’s more of the environment I was raised in then the household. I love my mom and siblings btw :3 but yeah, I did have lots of traumatic experiences when growing up… I’ve just pretty much been sad for most of life (I’m 20). I do relate a lot to grant… and sorry to hear that about your cousin, I’m a lesbian too… so I relate a bunch.
Grant is... like I'm looking at my past self. I hope he gets to figure stuff out. But I have to agree, sadness is beautiful, and never thought someone else was thinking the same
It seems like Grant begrudges his best friends happiness, even though he says it so often, but inside he can't stand his best friend's successes and the changes that come with them. But he can't let it go either.
A have a very typical American straight guy male friendship and we rarely have any heart to hearts, and keep it either entirely light or talk about work/relationship stuff. The only time we ever said "I love you" was on his wedding day a few months ago. I really didn't think it would happen but it just came out of me and the two of us stood there hugging and crying like idiots. It was nice, but really weird haha
20:47 - Enjoying being sad. I understand it, it is not like suffering type of sad. It is a melancholy. You feel content when you are melancholic and tapping into sorrow. You have known that place for your whole life, you got many memories from those times in the past. It is that bittersweet feeling of nostalgia and overall just something that feels unique to your life experience. Like being in a bubble, when hopelessness feels comforting as it melts your daily stress. The problem comes with the fact that you really cant share that with anyone, it is like living in your own sad world, and you often feel the urge to isolate from friends and family because of that. That is when it becomes harmful.
Do people not realize they could be the problem in a relationship too? Everyone has flaws and makes mistakes. To pretend you were the perfect partner shows you never take accountability.
I understand Grant and the loss of creativity from his sadness. It’s mainly an outlet and coping mechanism. But there really is a deep beauty in feeling melancholy because it’s a blessing to feel things. I remember being callous and cold. Numb even. Sometimes pain helps me remember I’m human. I’m alive.
i think Grant just might have gotten really attached to his bsf (i forgot his name) but it affected him in a negative mental way in which he got separation anxiety or smth like that
I feel like grant is in love with Alden, like that whole thing about talking being jealous with the wife kinda gave me that vibe. He also just kept looking like he was in love with Alden.
I mean, that happens all the time though. I used to have a best friend but after he got with his wife we rarely ever hung out anymore and our friendship just sorta dissolved over time.
We needed to see a pair of Black friends in this mix, our community often struggles with showing the level of vulnerability that these men did so I would have loved to have that platformed
why tf is everyone here gay or bi like jubilee is trying so hard to be inclusive to the point where they are including all gay men I literally heard 7 people say they were gay
@@auraliax1323 ??? Having a wife or gf does not mean they’re straight. What the other person should have probably said was that there are 3 confirmed bi/gay and 2-3 suspected due to speech/mannerisms. 7 people definitely did not say they were bi/gay, but you cannot assume that the ones who didn’t say that are straight lol.
@@kikialeaki1850 i didn't assume, i just didn't think they brought up all lgbtq people, it's fine anyways they're still men who are expressing their emotions comfortably here which is what i meant
@@auraliax1323 you literally said “the other guys are straight” though. They are still men but we know that this issue stereotypically resides with straight men. So there might have been smth with that but I can’t read the other commenter’s mind so…
Not sure I would want to be married to someone who’s best friend hates me? The two people you are most close to in life should get on. Very odd behaviour from the best friend to say he doesn’t like the wife once they are MARRIED. If you are gonna object to a friends partner your window is early dating
After seeing Alden’s reaction, I think he always knew, I think they talked about this before, but him being in love with her he couldn’t really do much. And you can also see Grant stopping himself from saying that his best friend’s wife Is toxic, so that’s probably why he doesn’t like her. Plus, It’s actually not that easy to just like your best friend’s partner, you may be forced to accept their relationship for the sake of yours and your best friend’s relationship, but still not like his partner, as long you respect his choice (which I think It’s what he does, since he retreated his words about Alden’s wife). There’s also the fact that It’s also not easy to accept that - after a whole life of just you being the to-go person for him and being just the two of you - he now has to share his best friend with someone else (who obviously spends more time with him). It takes a while to understand and be perfectly fine with that, so stop judging Grant and try to be in his shoes instead. (Ps: my native language Is not English, so sorry for any errors).
@@irisrodrigues194no i’m sorry but he just seems off about alden relationships why is he still hating his best friend ex high school girlfriend when alden literally says he doesn’t hate her
Jubilee do this with engaged couples!! I feel like this is an overlooked but *crucial* time in people's relationships. And my fiancé and I would love to volunteer!!
Respectfully, there really isn't any need to speculate on that. It's one of the reasons I've heard men say they aren't comfortable showing emotions, because they don't wanna look "gay." Grant was comfortable enough to share some pretty deep stuff here, and that should be commended without adding romantic undertones.
@@nic5264i don't think he's romantically jealous. I think he's jealous about the attention (like he said). He's probably jealous he can't have him all to himself. Its pretty obvious and not at all uncommon.
@@whatoh3407 Sure, but being jealous of how your friend spends their time is worlds apart from being "secretly in love." I just think insinuating it isn’t helpful.
Yeah it feels like it, but just from the video he seems like the type of dude where if he was actually gay he'd just be out and not in the closet. Probably does have have some unhealthy attachment though.
Grant is such a beautiful soul. He unfortunately romanticizes depression and sadness. I don’t think he loves it I think he finds beauty in it. I hope he gets to a place where he finds beauty in joy and romanticizes happiness and peace. A lot of great art has come from joy ❤
Grant is definitely in love w/Alden but in a non-homosexual way 😅 Like he def wants to be Aldens #1 but also I dont think he wants to do gay things to him
“Leave your masculinity at the door and let those feelings fly.” I kinda felt some type of way about that cuz masculinity should also include vulnerability and emotions, that’s what’s called healthy masculinity. What do y’all think
Grant's take on sadness rlly reminded me of that one scene in the movie Little Miss Sunshine where uncle and Dwayne also discuss how sadness creates more than happiness. It's quite an interesting take.
I’m so happy these guys can be vulnerable with each other. It’s important men express their feelings and have someone to talk to. Guys, please go to people when you need help. Don’t be ashamed to cry or feel sad ❤ Your mental health is important too!
It's been shown in multiple, replicable studies that your suggestion* results in worse psychological damage to men. Anyone with even a beginning introduction to psychology knows that healthy men and women do not process emotions the same way nor should they. Tldr You, "Luna23973", don't know what you're talking about and are parroting a platitude because you think it the popular thing to do.
when i was really down bad i found a weird comfort in being sad. i get what grant meant. def not beautiful its not healthy but its a way of finding some sort of light
0:32 “leave your masculinity at the door” masculinity can be compatible with vulnerability though… expressing your emotions doesn’t make you any less masculine!
I love being happy but that statement Grant made in 21:19 is pretty relatable. For some reason I do get a bit more creative when I am sad. It isn't sth I crave but it does happen. I feel like he probably feels nostalgic alot too and alot of the time that feeling of nostalgia is a beautiful thing at least thats how I feel.
Fr, I do this, too. Like when I'm sad I'll read a book or draw something and I'll feel at peace like.....idk, I always saw myself as maybe I'm weird like why do I enjoy being sad?
Ive gotten creative music songwriting being a little hopeful or happy about a romance so no you don't have to be sad to get creative,... I think a key is strong emotions....
He said “I think people lose their ability to do art when they’re happy” 😮 that’s sooooo true omg. I write, and draw the best when I’m down. Which in turn lifts my spirits up. A positive feedback loop
Grant genuinely believes he’s in a relationship with Alden it’s actually crazy and Alden needs to a grow a pair cause how u gonna let ur best friend talk about ur partner like that …
@KindaK_ ah thank you! Didn't catch that part initially, I don't think I had subtitles on at that point. I appreciate you answering and clearing the question!
i feel like too many people are too judgy with their friends' significant others. a lot of the time the problem is that they dont try to get to know them at all. they often only know what the other person tells them, which often tends to be negative. and if they have a problem with them after interacting with them directly, at least with straight men, a lot of them tend to be lowkey sexist and thats why they have those problems. i feel like because people see friends as more of a permanent thing, and significant others as people who you can just dump whenever you feel like it, even if the friend is toxic, they will still choose them most of the time. people always talk about abusive partners who isolate you from your friends, but what about abusive friends who isolate you from trying to find love?
I understand Grant and this is a part of depression. Depression is comforting. Being sad is something that feels familiar. Staying in bed all day feels cozy and relaxing to a person with depression almost like a safety blanket. I got you Grant takes one to know one ☝️
I love when humans talk about their emotions. To every boy feeling like he cant express his emotions, do it, it shows that you are human. Its not weak, its so strong. Its not feminine and not masculine, its human.
If my friend spoke about my relationship and wife the way Grant is, even though she had done nothing wrong, he wouldn't be my friend anymore. That's completely out of line for Grant to say things like that because he is jealous? That is wild, Alden needs a reality check, why would his wife put up with disrespect like that? Hes supposed to be your best friend and hes actively going against your relationship and dislikes your wife wtf....
I appreciate this episode😫 but am I the only thing that at times Grant came off like he had a crush on Alden? Idk but I liked everyone’s friendship tbh…
All the close relationships are so touching and its important that strong and close friendships are getting more visible!! // Plus: I love the fact, that Orin and Jeremy are so beautifully glitter-coordinated 🥰🥰🥰
Grant is definitely in love with his straight friend, Alden. Grant needs to be honest with himself, else he is going to keep getting hurt by Alden. Grant also seems to put his mental health trauma onto Alden, when he should see professional help.
Are you and your BFF actually compatible?😬 Find out on the nectar app 👉lovecommanectar.co/3Huh64m
You gotta do "Boyfriends get brutally honest with their Girlfriend's guy best friend" THAT"D BE A BANGER
that’s gonna be MENTAL WAR FARE 😭 breaking relationships in half
Bro wants to start WW3💀
I clicked on the video assuming that's what the video is about without reading the title lmao
OMG YES WHERE DO I SIGN THE PETITION FOR THIS
@@Flesh_Wizard Jubilee needs to cast me in it too. My girlfriend's guy best friend is on his last life.
Starting off with "do you not like his wife?" Is WILD 😂
Ikr 😭😭
tbf that wasn't the first question they asked...
@@MCBPZhow would u know u weren’t yhete
yeah 😂😬
Grant coming out and saying "yes" about his bf wife is WILD. Lmao he obviously jealous of the attention.
I don’t think Grant is in love but I think he’s scared of being replaced or moved on from which is understandable
it seems kind of like he heavily relies on Alden and that type of burden can be super heavy for a best friend that is their main moral support and "hope" in humanity
Yeah I think he's co-dependant on Grant which is understandable given his past issues but potentially unhealthy
and I think he is gay.....
who is saying he’s in love?? you can love your best friend and not be in love
He`s in love. Its written all over his non verbal body language.
"Leave your masculinity at the door and let those feelings fly"
i don't like how we separate emotions with being masculine, theyre not mutually exclusive!! Men can be masculine and talk about how they feel! Its toxic to separate them
Masculinity is often measured with responsibility, but what's more responsible than being able to acknowledge and express your emotions healthily?
EXACTLY!!!
Had the same thought!
was the first thing i thought too
I was going to comment on this too. Honest Emotional vulnerability is key to divine masculinity! 🙏
i wish emmanuel and christian got more screen time, they seem really genuine about each other.
also they look like they could be siblings
and they cute
They look like brothers and they both fine AF
This video is like 90% Alden and Grant. 10% is the rest lol
more like 90% grant only
@@sleepenjoyer-on2dr true
I suppose because he articulates a lot more than the others hence why host focused more so on him.
They spent the most time on the guys who weren't scared to elaborate on their feelings and the reasons behind them. They also focused on Orin/Jeremy.
@@ridethatslapthatno it’s because their dynamic is the most confusing and the most likely to cause comments and engagement
Now you guys have to do best friends of the opposite gender
At the end he said that'll be the next episode!
crazyyy idea
Would be a wild episode
THAT'S CRAZZZZY!!!
Something in the direction of "were you ever in love with your best friend?" Will for sure come up then
Only thing i disagree with is the original statement.
Masculinity isn't the opposite of showing emotion but rather the opposite of boyish immaturity.
exactly!
Yes! that bugged me too
Yep. They gotta get some more different types of guys on here, like more masculine guys
I saw a study showing that the belief that masculinity has a negative effect on behavior is linked to worse mental well-being.
I think this is linked to people who consider masculinity as toxic or something like that
It is the type of people who say the statement said in the video probably.
couldn't agree more, submissivekittycat
this may sound bad but i feel like this was heavily focus on grant’s and aldens friendships which isn’t a bad thing but i feel like they could’ve made the video longer so we could hear from others and we barely heard from emmanuel and christian
I agree, I wanted to hear more from other people.
@@chickenfingersss9155they should release a version without cuts
@@whalistenusually they do on their patreon, it costs money though.
Agreed, I enjoyed it but wish that the video was longer. I wanted to hear more from Emmanuel and Christian more
Ok but Orin and Jeremy with the black/pink matching rhinestone bomber jackets!? Thats a bestie.
A gay bestie.
Gay
Grant saying he finds peace in sadness reminds me of how girls with eating disorders find comfort in their eating disorder. You deserve better, Grant!
I wish the presenter hasn’t said ‘leave your masculinity at the door’ to signify they’re about to get vulnerable. There’s nothing wrong with masculinity.
Yeah and why tf is everyone here gay or bi like jubilee is trying to hard to be inclusive to the point where they are including all gay men I literally heard 7 people say they were gay
@@daquonsimmons8240 OMG A DIVERSE RANGE OF BESTFRIENDS, SPOOKY😱
@daquonsimmons8240 _Hmmm ..._ perhaps it all boils down to the statistical tendencies of certain demographic groupings, whom are
_(on average)_ more or less proactive about these rather 'nontraditional' learning opportunities; for expanding social awareness/challenging emotional situations, which ultimately inspires higher degrees of personal growth amongst those like-minded individuals?
*-- and thus, another online community is born on RUclips* 😉lol
I think he may have meant TOXIC masculinity
gay people are less likely to have toxic masculinity which kind of defeated the purpose of the video@@Turtles-oo8xl
I'm shocked at how many people think Grant is in love with Alden. He definitely loves him but all his comments just rang as someone seeing the friendship change once the other gets in a relationship with someone you don't really enjoy.
100% people in these comments cant tell the difference between platonic and romantic love - i hope grant is holding up well :p
Ya indont think he romantically is in love with him. I think he's platonically in love with him and jealous that the girl is taking him away.
they def had something going on in the past you can tell by how Alden prefaces every answer he gives
They were friends for literally almost 20 years. I would expect their relationship to involve a lot of emotions
Grant needs some therapy, but I'm feeling how big an impact Alden had on his life.
20:52 I understand exactly what grant is trying to say.
When your brain becomes used to one emotion (long periods of sadness) the brain puts it in your comfort zone. It becomes your comfort emotion so whenever you're happy it's something out of your comfort zone which obviously does not feel great.
Yeah, exactly. I’ve been depressed and sad my whole life so it’s definitely comforting. When I’m “happy” or feel decent, it feels uncomfortable and weird and unnatural. But the way Grant explained it was also more than that like there is a poetic beauty to being sad as well. To feeling those emotions and looking at everything from that perspective is almost more deep and contemplative and raw? If that makes sense
Oh wow thank you for that perspective. I never thought of that before but it makes perfect sense. I know the 'you're scared to be happy because you think something will go wrong (like it always does)' thing but not that happiness itself as an emotion makes you uncomfortable because you're not used to it. But yes @smokey Grant was also talking about the whole 'tortured artist' thing
The moment he said he was a writer, it made soo much sense because I could relate as a fellow writer. Some of the best writing comes from negative emotions like sadness.
@@Yoyomeyo This applies to many situations. Really any "normal" thing that you're not familiar with but everyone else is. I cry and completely shut down when someone wishes me a happy birthday because I never ever celebrated it and it's become something I avoid because I don't know how to enjoy myself and have a nice day. It's much harder to learn these things as an adult because now it's a conscious decision. As a child you just go along.
i totally got what he was saying but that’s how i used to feel when i was unmedicated and in some of the biggest depression stages of my life. bro definitely does need help and i hope he is able to seek it 🥺
Orin and Jeremy’s matching jackets 🥹 their friendship was my fav, but overall, I loved that we got the men perspective of this because we rarely see that in social media
literally!! also orin being like “wtf” over the other people friendships is so funny 😭
So are we not going to talk about the sleep peeing thing... like wtf LMAOOOOO
Big ick! Why just why ?!…
@@jvin27He did it in an unconscious state. Sleep walking isn’t fully understood. But I do know Jeremy would have been at me if I had done it to him.
That actually happened to me once haha. I just went back to sleep and then I remembered in the morning when there was pee on my floor that wasn't mine
a lot of people who sleepwalk do things besides just walk. my brother’s friend one time sleepwalked into the kitchen and peed in the garbage can. totally unconscious and on accident, it happens.
@@Annalalalandabanama18864what?!😂
It sometimes amazes me how people are able to keep their friendships for so long.
I agree. I generally get tired of being mistreated and move on to new friends
those dont sound like friends..@@chellejack3480
Grant and Alden having such a long past is honestly so rare these days. Usually people drift away after school or during college but these two were stuck together until just recently it seems. I'm so jealous of this
sometimes they’re your only friend you’ve ever had so it’s difficult to lose them because you’ll have no one so you just put up with it same thing goes for some relationships
I have one best friend for like 7 years now.❤its amazing
Grant needs therapy
Totally, especially when he says now that the distance between him and Alden have widened ( perhaps due to Alden getting married ), and how Grant is more cynical whenever he is not near to Alden, it says a lot.
Have you watched the full video?
@@CarmW2314I just did. It came off to me like Grant had a crush on Alden at times😫
@leanon9220 not at all. now you are making things weird. they are friends. period
@@leanon9220 im pretty sure grant is gay
If grant is going to make aiden choose between him and his wife he is going to find himself cut out of their life. In fact admitting he doesn't like her is the beginning of the end even the guy next time was like wtf
literally ESPECIALLY since they have plans after?? 😭
Ong why would you ever say that out loud
and the way he said that he hates the ex meanwhile you have his friend denying… he just seems so misogynistic ugh
someone get grant to a therapist breh
"this video is sponsored by better help " - Grant (probably)
20:52 people will say negative things about this but Grant is so real for this. I’m mentally ill and I hate being sad and wish to be happy but when I do feel remotely close to happy, I feel disgusting.
Disgusting? 🧍 how does that worj
@@angelaparkes451 are you mentally ill? This is a genuine question, not trying to sound rude lolz
@@alovehotel what kind of house hold were you raised in? My gay cousin is the exact same way Grant is and I wonder if there's some correlation with how they were raised.
@@whatoh3407 it’s more of the environment I was raised in then the household. I love my mom and siblings btw :3 but yeah, I did have lots of traumatic experiences when growing up… I’ve just pretty much been sad for most of life (I’m 20). I do relate a lot to grant… and sorry to hear that about your cousin, I’m a lesbian too… so I relate a bunch.
yeah I don't feel disgusting when im happy but im sad a majority of the time so there's a comfort in the sadness now and happiness feels unsafe to me.
almost every time alden and grant speaks orin always went "WHAT IS GOING ON???😫" and honestly he's soooo relatable for that LMAO
Grant is... like I'm looking at my past self. I hope he gets to figure stuff out. But I have to agree, sadness is beautiful, and never thought someone else was thinking the same
It seems like Grant begrudges his best friends happiness, even though he says it so often, but inside he can't stand his best friend's successes and the changes that come with them. But he can't let it go either.
Yes and that sounds super sad🥲
A have a very typical American straight guy male friendship and we rarely have any heart to hearts, and keep it either entirely light or talk about work/relationship stuff. The only time we ever said "I love you" was on his wedding day a few months ago. I really didn't think it would happen but it just came out of me and the two of us stood there hugging and crying like idiots. It was nice, but really weird haha
aww that's so sweet😭
sounds gay 👀
@@Allanrpsx those type of comments are exactly why guys are uncomfortable being vulnerable with each other.
@@Diane_666 I was being facetious, I thought it was funny because of how blatantly ridiculous the statement was
😂ayo. I only said I love you to my cat. Not even my parents
Grant
Please ignore all the annoying comments and know that you're loved and your life is beautiful as it is
Emmanuel and christian secretly have the same dad
lol
I literally only heard them like once
Dude, their facial structures! They totally could be related.
Orin being confused by Alden the whole time is sendingggg me lol that is exactly how i would be reacting to the weirdness
20:47 - Enjoying being sad. I understand it, it is not like suffering type of sad. It is a melancholy. You feel content when you are melancholic and tapping into sorrow. You have known that place for your whole life, you got many memories from those times in the past. It is that bittersweet feeling of nostalgia and overall just something that feels unique to your life experience. Like being in a bubble, when hopelessness feels comforting as it melts your daily stress. The problem comes with the fact that you really cant share that with anyone, it is like living in your own sad world, and you often feel the urge to isolate from friends and family because of that. That is when it becomes harmful.
👏👏👏, yeah basically thats how you'd explain it
Do people not realize they could be the problem in a relationship too? Everyone has flaws and makes mistakes. To pretend you were the perfect partner shows you never take accountability.
Trevor’s voice is incredible, holy moly
i thought the same thing!
Its great to see male friends being kind to each other and men in general being vulnerable
I think what Grant is saying about sadness is sort of a coping mechanism for him.
I understand Grant and the loss of creativity from his sadness.
It’s mainly an outlet and coping mechanism. But there really is a deep beauty in feeling melancholy because it’s a blessing to feel things. I remember being callous and cold. Numb even.
Sometimes pain helps me remember I’m human. I’m alive.
i think Grant just might have gotten really attached to his bsf (i forgot his name) but it affected him in a negative mental way in which he got separation anxiety or smth like that
I feel like grant is in love with Alden, like that whole thing about talking being jealous with the wife kinda gave me that vibe. He also just kept looking like he was in love with Alden.
I've only started watching the video and I agree😂😂
Why cant we love each other without being in love. I dont think Grant is in love with him
I mean, that happens all the time though. I used to have a best friend but after he got with his wife we rarely ever hung out anymore and our friendship just sorta dissolved over time.
@@OneRandomVictoryand it’s perfectly normal to miss that. Or not like the person your friend turns into because of their SO.
Yes I immediately looked for a comment like this after the saved my life question I was like I can't be the only one think8ng this!!!😂
We needed to see a pair of Black friends in this mix, our community often struggles with showing the level of vulnerability that these men did so I would have loved to have that platformed
It's nice seeing men express their feelings like this❤
why tf is everyone here gay or bi like jubilee is trying so hard to be inclusive to the point where they are including all gay men I literally heard 7 people say they were gay
@@daquonsimmons8240 no only 2 or 3, the other guys are straight,they literally spoke about having wives and gfs
@@auraliax1323 ??? Having a wife or gf does not mean they’re straight. What the other person should have probably said was that there are 3 confirmed bi/gay and 2-3 suspected due to speech/mannerisms. 7 people definitely did not say they were bi/gay, but you cannot assume that the ones who didn’t say that are straight lol.
@@kikialeaki1850 i didn't assume, i just didn't think they brought up all lgbtq people, it's fine anyways they're still men who are expressing their emotions comfortably here which is what i meant
@@auraliax1323 you literally said “the other guys are straight” though. They are still men but we know that this issue stereotypically resides with straight men. So there might have been smth with that but I can’t read the other commenter’s mind so…
Not sure I would want to be married to someone who’s best friend hates me?
The two people you are most close to in life should get on. Very odd behaviour from the best friend to say he doesn’t like the wife once they are MARRIED.
If you are gonna object to a friends partner your window is early dating
After seeing Alden’s reaction, I think he always knew, I think they talked about this before, but him being in love with her he couldn’t really do much. And you can also see Grant stopping himself from saying that his best friend’s wife Is toxic, so that’s probably why he doesn’t like her. Plus, It’s actually not that easy to just like your best friend’s partner, you may be forced to accept their relationship for the sake of yours and your best friend’s relationship, but still not like his partner, as long you respect his choice (which I think It’s what he does, since he retreated his words about Alden’s wife).
There’s also the fact that It’s also not easy to accept that - after a whole life of just you being the to-go person for him and being just the two of you - he now has to share his best friend with someone else (who obviously spends more time with him). It takes a while to understand and be perfectly fine with that, so stop judging Grant and try to be in his shoes instead.
(Ps: my native language Is not English, so sorry for any errors).
@@irisrodrigues194no i’m sorry but he just seems off about alden relationships why is he still hating his best friend ex high school girlfriend when alden literally says he doesn’t hate her
Jubilee do this with engaged couples!! I feel like this is an overlooked but *crucial* time in people's relationships. And my fiancé and I would love to volunteer!!
I swear it feels like Grant's secretly in love with alden. Regardless, they have a beautiful friendship.
Respectfully, there really isn't any need to speculate on that. It's one of the reasons I've heard men say they aren't comfortable showing emotions, because they don't wanna look "gay." Grant was comfortable enough to share some pretty deep stuff here, and that should be commended without adding romantic undertones.
@@nic5264i don't think he's romantically jealous. I think he's jealous about the attention (like he said). He's probably jealous he can't have him all to himself. Its pretty obvious and not at all uncommon.
@@whatoh3407 Sure, but being jealous of how your friend spends their time is worlds apart from being "secretly in love." I just think insinuating it isn’t helpful.
@@nic5264 ya sure, but really, who cares.
Yeah it feels like it, but just from the video he seems like the type of dude where if he was actually gay he'd just be out and not in the closet. Probably does have have some unhealthy attachment though.
Grant is such a beautiful soul. He unfortunately romanticizes depression and sadness. I don’t think he loves it I think he finds beauty in it. I hope he gets to a place where he finds beauty in joy and romanticizes happiness and peace. A lot of great art has come from joy ❤
👏👏👏
Grant is definitely in love w/Alden but in a non-homosexual way 😅
Like he def wants to be Aldens #1 but also I dont think he wants to do gay things to him
Yeah, he's probably just emotionally in love with Alden.
It called BROTHERHOOD love
Grant is not gay
Yeah he's jealous he's losing his best friend. Also Grant is bi
@@oranyeoranye7141 He's CLEARLY into men.
“Leave your masculinity at the door and let those feelings fly.” I kinda felt some type of way about that cuz masculinity should also include vulnerability and emotions, that’s what’s called healthy masculinity. What do y’all think
I totally agree with you; they should have phrased that differently/in a more respectful way that doesn't insult or infantilize these grown men.
Fr they shoudl've said toxic masculinity rather than regular masculinity
I didnt honestly know if men had as deep friendships as women so this is rly beautiful to see that i was wrong
Romanticizing sadness is sad
Don't tell him that. He'll think it's cool then since he likes sad things
Yeah 😬
Best friend episodes are the BEST!! Please make more!
Grant, your best friend is smart for maxing out his 401k!!
Grant's take on sadness rlly reminded me of that one scene in the movie Little Miss Sunshine where uncle and Dwayne also discuss how sadness creates more than happiness. It's quite an interesting take.
I’m so happy these guys can be vulnerable with each other. It’s important men express their feelings and have someone to talk to. Guys, please go to people when you need help. Don’t be ashamed to cry or feel sad ❤ Your mental health is important too!
It's been shown in multiple, replicable studies that your suggestion* results in worse psychological damage to men. Anyone with even a beginning introduction to psychology knows that healthy men and women do not process emotions the same way nor should they.
Tldr You, "Luna23973", don't know what you're talking about and are parroting a platitude because you think it the popular thing to do.
when i was really down bad i found a weird comfort in being sad. i get what grant meant. def not beautiful its not healthy but its a way of finding some sort of light
he has poetry if you're interested...
9:08 I honestly loved Poptarts more than an actual relationship in high school (and still do)
Aldens wife when she reads the comments 😮😮😮😮😮
0:32 “leave your masculinity at the door” masculinity can be compatible with vulnerability though… expressing your emotions doesn’t make you any less masculine!
I love being happy but that statement Grant made in 21:19 is pretty relatable. For some reason I do get a bit more creative when I am sad. It isn't sth I crave but it does happen. I feel like he probably feels nostalgic alot too and alot of the time that feeling of nostalgia is a beautiful thing at least thats how I feel.
Fr, I do this, too. Like when I'm sad I'll read a book or draw something and I'll feel at peace like.....idk, I always saw myself as maybe I'm weird like why do I enjoy being sad?
Ive gotten creative music songwriting being a little hopeful or happy about a romance so no you don't have to be sad to get creative,... I think a key is strong emotions....
He said “I think people lose their ability to do art when they’re happy” 😮 that’s sooooo true omg. I write, and draw the best when I’m down. Which in turn lifts my spirits up. A positive feedback loop
Orin was just so confused by Alden it's the best
0:31 oo but why does "letting your feelings fly" have to mean "leaving masculinity at the door" ?
Facts. he should've said toxic masculinity not regular masculinity.
The tall hairy dude in green has such a cool style
Emmanuel has the best smile, he should smile more - that is his secret weapon, i don't think he knows.
Hearing these dudes talk about their feelings gives me second hand happiness.
Grant genuinely believes he’s in a relationship with Alden it’s actually crazy and Alden needs to a grow a pair cause how u gonna let ur best friend talk about ur partner like that …
Trevor, dude, no need to suffer. Goth christians exist! 😭
What does being christian have to do with it?
@KindaK_ ah thank you! Didn't catch that part initially, I don't think I had subtitles on at that point. I appreciate you answering and clearing the question!
LMAO suffering is all part of the process B]
@@Cosmic_Cookies_774 yep yep you got it. I don't even entirely care that they're goth or not. But the faith aspect is important to me :]
As a Christian girl do y’all know emo/goth boys? 🙈
Alden is the definition of golden retriever energy
Yessss and I’m so glad grant has him by his side ❤😢
Alden's wife later: Did you know that Grant has a crush on you?
Alden: What???....nah!
Masculinity is showing how you feel and so is femininity. So why tell them to leave out who they are.
I think they meant toxic masculinity but that’s the fault on their end. I 100% agree with what you said :3
Yeah it made it sound like you can’t be masculine and show emotion at the same time. Bad wording
i feel like too many people are too judgy with their friends' significant others. a lot of the time the problem is that they dont try to get to know them at all. they often only know what the other person tells them, which often tends to be negative. and if they have a problem with them after interacting with them directly, at least with straight men, a lot of them tend to be lowkey sexist and thats why they have those problems. i feel like because people see friends as more of a permanent thing, and significant others as people who you can just dump whenever you feel like it, even if the friend is toxic, they will still choose them most of the time. people always talk about abusive partners who isolate you from your friends, but what about abusive friends who isolate you from trying to find love?
Two things. 1, hi Mykel 🤭 and 2, please display each pairing equally! Each pair has something to share and contribute and they deserve to be heard.
I think this would be really cool to see with older male best friends who have been friends for decades.
I love ALDEN
Me too hes my flavorite
so does grant
I love alden
Such a cutie
I understand Grant and this is a part of depression. Depression is comforting. Being sad is something that feels familiar. Staying in bed all day feels cozy and relaxing to a person with depression almost like a safety blanket. I got you Grant takes one to know one ☝️
For Grant, I get the sadness being nice part. It's a beautiful feeling.
Love seeing men break stereotypes and express their emotions so openly! Authenticity is key
I love 6 million botted subs
Orin is actually such a lovely guy
You spelt mykel wrong
@@serenityq26he blamed Orin when HE peed on him😭
@@MariTiyanaI think you got mykel and Jeremy mixed up
Thank you for saying that!
Were you surprised by that for some reason??
@@serenityq26saying one person is lovely doesn’t mean another one can’t lol 😭
Proud of everyone for their incredible vulnerability and honesty here. That’s awesome
Hey Grant, thanks for being so vulnerable and sharing your story with us. You are so loved xx
Trevor has like the most soothing voice ever
His dad yelling at him about playing the violin is the most asian thing ever
This is SO important. MORE OF THIS PLEASE!!
I love when humans talk about their emotions. To every boy feeling like he cant express his emotions, do it, it shows that you are human. Its not weak, its so strong. Its not feminine and not masculine, its human.
If my friend spoke about my relationship and wife the way Grant is, even though she had done nothing wrong, he wouldn't be my friend anymore. That's completely out of line for Grant to say things like that because he is jealous? That is wild, Alden needs a reality check, why would his wife put up with disrespect like that? Hes supposed to be your best friend and hes actively going against your relationship and dislikes your wife wtf....
This is my favourite Jubilee video seeing these guys open up to each other is very nice.
All great guests. Takes a lot of courage to share your emotions in front of millions of people.
Trevor and myckel friendship I liked a lot
trevor and mykel are SO sweet!
This was the most genuine, wholesome one yet
Anyone notice Orin and Jeremy wearing the same jackets in different colors? So cute ❤
This was so wholesome-I loved the amount of care each of these men had for one another.
Jeremy and Orin with the matching sparkly jackets! 😆
00:19 Never do that again, that gave us 2nd hand embarrassment. That being said, I liked this segment - Jubilee this was excellent
😂facts
I appreciate this episode😫 but am I the only thing that at times Grant came off like he had a crush on Alden? Idk but I liked everyone’s friendship tbh…
All the close relationships are so touching and its important that strong and close friendships are getting more visible!! // Plus: I love the fact, that Orin and Jeremy are so beautifully glitter-coordinated 🥰🥰🥰
THIS IS THE BEST FORMAT YOU GUYS HAVE EVER DONE
Grant is definitely in love with his straight friend, Alden. Grant needs to be honest with himself, else he is going to keep getting hurt by Alden. Grant also seems to put his mental health trauma onto Alden, when he should see professional help.
Check your assumptions , cause you sound so sure
Orin casually calling out grant is my fav part of the video
@kmm8801 He asked an open question and asked us for an honest answer, so I did was I was asked to do. 😊
Trevor's voice is amazing, and he looks so sweet too!
I cried when Orin cried. I loved this episode
i think grant is like unhealthily obsessed with his best friend
I love how Orin and Jeremy have on the same jacket different colors