Jim Jefferies -- Airplane Etiquette -- Fully Functional
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- Опубликовано: 2 авг 2015
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Comedian Jim Jefferies gives a hilarious breakdown of the etiquette protocol for air travel from his stand up comedy special Fully Functional.
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Приколы
"I had no idea you were gay."
"...fuckin' yeah..."
...I like cock...
“Fuckin’ yeah man…IIII…I like cock.”
"I know but how do you know." Ha!
yeah that was like... hmmm...
I'm rather immune nowadays to stand up but that there had me laughing loud.
"we live in a society, we're not animals!"
I'm using that!
Ants,Zebras and other animals live in a societies too. Just saying.
Bees aswell
^And we do like cock... **cough** the animal **cough**
Ahmed Anssaien Nah...that's just you
W E L I V E I N A S O C I E T Y
"People were yelling at me calling me a racist, and I was like, I know, but how do you know?" - One of my favorite Jefferies lines of all time :D
I laugh each time I hear this and his face when he says it is funny af
He's right. When I fly in the middle, the clowns on both sides take the armrests. Bloody rude.
Exactly. We live in a society
We are not fucking animals!
Well, David Cameron fucks pigs, but that's a story for another day...
It's the only consolation for sitting in the middle.
stand up for yourself
Fal a cants
Nothing on this earth is more beautiful than the way an Aussie says "cunt".
Sincerely,
-Canada.
5:00 - That "I know" had me laughing so much!
KENNY GILL get over it moron.
He does a good American accent
Here lives there.
I thought there lived here.
umm wtf ur grammer is terrible its "he does a well American Accent"
Well-Americans have a specific, deeply echoing accent that does not sound anything like this man
Lmao bud you're wrong
Jim could make even the most boring story interesting
He’s not drunk, he’s just Australian
No, he's a drunk who just happens to be Australian.
@《Crypt Knight》 No fuckin' difference - he's just confused and hasn't adapted to the upside down
So he is drunk 😆
He's a loser
No, he’s Australian, therefore he’s drunk
"as a proud gay man myself..." I'M USING THAT ONE!
This should played in every aircraft soon after the safety instructions. Passengers may face the "unlikely event" once in their lifetime but this arm rest is a nightmare. So this video must be played :)
the good thing about the unlikely event is that you can only experience it once
@@wingnightbackwards people frequently survive unlikely events
@@LetsGoFlyers2011 how many people have experienced 2 plane crashes
‘Why are you such a cunt?’ ‘I would be dying laughing on that flight 😂💀
Yes it is...We're having a fight. - LOL!
😂
I'm in the middle seat on a plane watching this. This should be part of the in-flight safety presentation.
If someone steals your armrest, just start casually stroking their hand. When they look at you, stop and act as casual as possible. Maybe make casual small talk. Repeat as often an nessesary.
If nothing else, you will get the satisfaction of knowing you f***ed with their mind and made their trip uncomfortable and your trip a little more entertaining.
Tara Wright 🤣
What if they like it? Whose mind will be fucked then?
David Smith Then you got yourself a date, good on you mate
@@LunchIs4Winners I am married but thanks for the offer.
Not advisable for women
As a Brit, I've been called a "limey bastard" multiple times and...it's just the worst insult (in the sense of being lame, not offensive) when you know where it comes from. It originates from British Sailors being given limes and other citrus fruits to prevent the onset of scurvy on long voyages and this being rare due to the British Navy being one of the few in the world at the time capable of supplying such 'luxurious' foodstuffs.
So, essentially, the insult is "Haha! We've all got scurvy and you haven't! Your teeth aren't falling out and your bones aren't decaying! What a loser!"
And...yeah...not sure how devastated our Sailors were to hear that - it's kind of like a blind person going "Yeah, enjoy that rainbow two eyes!"
As a fellow Brit (former navy) I got this a lot with Americans. I'd be like "how dare I strut about with my unbowed legs and mouth full of teeth!" I took it as a badge of honour.
Other navies cottoned on fast, but they had access to lemons, which worked better, not limes.
"No one is watchin the *FAHCHHKEN* MOVIE"
It is written as “farken” or “fukken”.
Love, Straya
*W E L I V E I N A S O C I E T Y*
*W H A T ?*
*20 MINUTES GUITAR SOLO*
I luv his American accent
Same
Dude - you're not getting it - we're talking about when he is imitating Americans in his act he uses a funny American accent. For an American listener, it may be too subtle for some to detect. We're not talking about his accent in general which is obviously Australian
I don't man it's creepy as fuck he sounds like a goddamn serial killer
miri Haly What's it like to be stupid?
To my ears it sounds like he lost his accent. It's spot on but really trippy. For a split second I thought he had just been pretending to have an Australian accent because woman love that shit in the states.
A lot of Aussies talk like this.
QUEENslander.
This is not the situation to swear in (yes it fucking is were having a fight)
He's just fucking brilliant. I don't even care how offensive he gets, he makes a solid point every time 👍
Agreed 👍
I hate people that disregard plane etiquette. There is a special place in hell.
It's called the back of the plane.
there is a special place in hell for people who use the phrase "a special place in hell"
+cannabinized
Yeah, it's called Purgatory.
It's a paradox, within a paradox, aimed at your worst weaknesses, fears, and addictions deep-fried in repetition, and wrapped in a sepia filter.
Danny Dunwich all things in entertainment are recycled .... movies shows music ..... some ppl do it better
its called plane etiquette, most people know it , why would Jim need to steal something that's already known?
He always sounds like he's drunk.
Aldan Lamarc he is m8
Because he is. Always
Aldan Lamarc
No as Australians always sound like that, drunk or not
He’s always pissed
Just sounds Australian to me maybe a lil tipsy but not drunk he switches between imitation and speaking proper too seamlessly
"I had no idea you were gay!"
LMAO, that was priceless!!!
Jefferies tells hilarious warped stories well.
Love how he sounds drunk but when he does American accent immediately becomes sober 😆
american accents are so easy to do. you just have to sound like your mentally retarded
The more I see of him, the more I like him. He's funny, and doesn't give a shit if he's crude!
Come to Scotland to hear cussing we don't give fuck its just punctuation here
Jim, you're my hero.
My favorite thing he does wis whenever the audience reacts and he just goes, “I know!”
Jim is like Harry Potter before he learned he was a wizard. That glass of beer on the ground keeps appearing and disappearing. lol
Jeff Black hahaha i was noticing the same
This was beautiful.
Holy shit, other people have arguments in their head with other people who aren't even aware of it!
Peter Richardson I know right 😂
Peter Richardson holy shit I thought I was the only one who did that 😂😂😂
Billions of people dude. Yeah
I do it all the time
The C bomb is one of the best words ever and put it with the F bomb , perfection
On a long flight, my steward was a male, very girlish. As we were boarding the plane he said to me "Good morning dear, will this be for business or pleasure ?" Without thinking I blurted out "Well, I don't know.....what did you have in mind ?" That flight was a lot of fun and so was he.....we all loved him
Should definitely be the video they show at the start of the flight!
"Well good sir I think you are mistaken"
Fucking hilarious.
*"fagin the fk out"*
Holy crap, choked, and it keeps getting funnier 🤯
One of my favorite comedians. Legend!
“I know but how did they know?!” 😂
I haven't laughed that hard at someone's stand up in a very long time.
His American accent DUUUUDE HAHAAA.
“I know but how do you know” is the best line. Funny guy.
I ACTUALLY DID THIS, on a recent flight. Some tall dude (2meters +) had changed his seat and I was in the middle, this a***ole took both arm rests, at some point during our struggle he said: "could you stop, i'm trying to sleep"... and then... it hit me... years of training for this moment.... I said: "I'm sorry to bother you, you should learn some plane etiquette, the one on the aisle gets.. bla bla bla.... we're not animals! WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY" jajajajajaja the guy just said: I'm sorry. Got both armrests fot the rest of my 11 hour flight!
Don't let them win both armrests.
(So rude, inhumane, and cruel, obviously.)
I'd call a flight attendant, and have them mediate.
Best standup of the 2010’s! So good! 👏👏👏
Jim Jefferies sounds like Ryan Reynolds when he goes American.
OpenMawProductions yeah he does
one of the funniest sketches I've ever seen!
Love how all comedians does airport/airplane stories because they all travel all the time :D
A lot of people can relate to flying stories in general
I love how he is wasted but still tells great jokes
He doesn’t drink
Australian Jim Breuer.
he doesn't drink anymore, but when he made this special he was drinking on stage
@@MochudiSwaagVEVO he litterally has a show called alcoholocaust where he drinks the whole fucking time. He doesnt drink now, but most of these shows were recorded when he was essentially an alcoholic
@@d3c3p7ak0nz oh I didn’t know, thanks man
Comic genius. Can't believe I didn't discover you till I was 44!!! Please come to Scotland, you'll be loved here!
2:04 😂I HAD TO SPIT OUT MY DRINK
Jim Jeffries and Bill Burr are my go to comics - always great bits and unparalleled delivery.
Obviously you’ve seen their talk on Jim Jeffries’ Show. Brilliant.
Absolutely 😂
This is fuckin comedy GOLD!!!
I don't know if this really happened, but he was pretty damn convincing
almost all stories that comedians tell are completely made up
Odds are only a small part of this is true, and he used it as inspiration for a stand-up bit
Do ya'll know that the oxygen masks are there to muffle the screams as we're going down?? Lmao
Do you not find the mask makes it really hard to actually go down?
Charlie Waffles you can’t fly that fast that low
"I know...but how do you know?" FUUUCK XD
This man is a comic genius!!! Very smart as for he’s observational comedy phenomenal
i fucking love this shit, only comedian that gets me fucking laughing shitless from start to finish
Dave chapelle aswell.
+. fuck you it's his opinion
At some point the beer disappears and I can't think of anything else.
Best, funniest comedian of al time
One of the best !! I like Carlin more.. Bill Burr is pretty good as well. IMO
+Kasper Bang Simon Amstell, Jimmy Carr, Frankie Boyle (especially his bits in Mock the Week)..for your consideration.
+Václav Fejt I'm a very big fan of Frankie & Jimmie.. Never heard of Simon Amstell might go and check him out :)
Fear Loathing Doug Stanhope, osho rajaneesh
and Bill Hicks
‘In for a penny, in for a pound.’
friend showed me this guy on RUclips other day have been watching all his videos on YT and love them. Generally smart and funny
Can't wait to see him in November!!! Super excited!!
Jim jefferies you are a bloody legend
This made me laugh out loud! Alone on the deck :)
I watched every single video of Jim's that I could find on YT. He's totally smart and hilarious!!:))
Love his comedy so much.
So awesome he got back at what is usually the other way around. Loud at the movies, pushy in line, disrespectful of everyone else...its great to hear he got one over.
Yes, it’s wonderful isn’t it?
I love his comedy.
Never gets old!!
I love this dude!! Super Funny!!
Once upon a time, in a land far far away, airplanes had roomy seats, and two armrest for each person!
I looked at my elbows while watching this in my chair and my elbows are firmly planted on the back of my arm rests.
NOBODY GIVES A FUCK ABOUT THE FRONT OF THE ARM REST! 🤣🤣🤣
This is glorious.
quality as usual, I love all your material its quality if you are ever in Liverpool let me know would love a pint or ten in your company
And bang! I'm back in! Love it 😂
Love this guy
I laughed so hard. 😂
WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY
Oh I love this one...always have...came back for a little Airplane racism😂😘🇨🇦
Love his Chappellesque delivery in this one
Qantas could learn a thing or two from this guy there stocks might go up
I worked really hard
Gone: 0:38 I just want to know... Did his beer go on a 4-minute vacation? Back: 5:07
Feckin love aussies and comedians, two and one? I've been blessed!
My hero.
Context: Floridian born and raised.
If I had a dollar for every time I've listened to this routine....
Saw Jefferies here in Chicago a couple of years ago a month after Ricky Gervais. Although Gervais was decent, Jefferies had me and my 80-something year old mom falling into the aisle with laughter. Up, Gunta, UP!!! :D
Is he drunk during his specials? Lol he’s awesome
Nah just Australian
0:36
WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY
Oh! "Air stewardesses"! I finally figured it out!
This is great!
Genius!!!!
"...I don't think those people ever retired."
Easily one of the best that ever did it!!
That's amazing!
This is like something from curb your enthusiasm
OMG this is fucking awesome
8 years. Time flies
Going to see Jim in Milan next week! 🙌
That point you get to when you're laughing that just become a strange sound.
That was hard to read man
Is this edited or actual footage? You never know with this guy....