r/TIFU Drinking Peanut Butter Put Me In the Hospital!
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- Опубликовано: 20 сен 2024
- 🛒 My merch: bit.ly/rSlashMerch
r/Tifu In this story, OP isn't allergic to peanut butter, but he thinks it will be a good idea to heat peanut butter in the microwave and chug it down. Turns out that melted peanut butter works like boiling napalm, and nearly killed him by destroying his mouth and throat! Ouchies! If you like this video, hit the subscribe button for more daily Reddit content!
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Credit
0:06, RaidCan, bit.ly/2xKseGb
5:24, pretty_, bit.ly/2NRSqd1
8:03, Argonpro18, bit.ly/2xP1jJC
10:50, TheGemScout, bit.ly/2Lmk9AE
14:25, an_electrocardiogram, bit.ly/2JBGurT
"Sneaky Snitch" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
License: CC By Attribution 3.0
TIFU by saying "heck" in a video and getting my entire channel demonetized
First reply?? lmao
Second reply?? lmao
And blocked in all countries except Antarctica.
Yeah that dont make no sense. You put in effort to sensor naughty words. Keep it up
Good
Op: I convinced my apartment that a velociraptor was on the loose
*R E P E A T ?*
*PARDON?*
EXCUSE ME
DA FUCK?!
Hold up
*EXCUSE ME WHAT THE FUCK!?*
*D E L E T*
Dinosaur guy unfortunately underestimated how STUPID people can be.
I mean people on the street said Trumps Kids should not be hunting Triceratops that was all I needed to know how deep down the hole we were but since I run a news page based around stupid I know it gets much, much worse. Did you know according to people assault now is just offending someone online. Fart rape is a thing according to quite a few people, stare rape is even a thing.
But like, really, though? Really? And these people are in university, somehow? ...How?
Like Carlin said, think bout how stupid the average person is, now imagine them in groups
@@Acidfunkish Universities don't look at common sense. They look at test scores.
@@ThirteenAmp Supposedly not just "average," though. These people have not only been accepted to university, but passed their first year of courses, somehow. ...How in hell?
I-I don't understand. I'm truly stunned.
Your reaction to the last one is everyone's exact reaction
Ohhhh nooooooo
Yeah
For f**kin real!!!!!!! I'm cringing so hard over here 😖😖🤢🤢💀💀🤦🤦
Now op has tasted both of his parents' milk
@@itisime423 🤮🤮🤮
For the "balloon" guy, it could have been worse. He could have discovered that the first time he went to have actual passionate hugging with someone. So if anything he was lucky to discover that horrifying situation alone.
Pffft!!!!!!!! That's so true!!!!!!!!!!! 🤣🤣🤣
The fact that his parents were religious enough to forbid him from Sex-Ed class makes this even funnier lol
@@mercerlord9137...thinking about it, I'm surprised they're religious enough to prevent sex education but _not_ religious enough to abstain from birth control measures. 🤔 Often those views are tied together.
If that first story is true, the only people who should be punished are the people who actually believed a raptor had attacked their apartment.
Yeah, there should be a meeting to inform people velociraptor went extinct about 80 million years ago, and if they got scared, it's their damn fault for being stupid. He even said students were freaking out, STUDENTS??? What the hell do they do in school??? God is sorry he made us.
@@0Onyx13 To quote Professor Digory from The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe; "What DO they teach Children in schools these days?"
I literally felt my IQ drop by 50 after that story.
My brain cells imploded
@@nikt12 Oof brain cells.
i hate to say it but my quess is they didn't know what it was .You do have to remember there are people raised to believe dinosaurs were never a thing .
she protecc
she attacc
but most importantly
she think dinosaurs are bacc
What the fucc
Well if you go technical on their asses, dinosaurs never left, they just evolved like everything else and are now called birds.
You are my favourite human
Do I smell original content?
:0
@@Nelekmaar birds are within the clade dinosaura. They are, by definition, dinosaurs.
Can we appreciate the fact that guy was able to convince functioning (ish) adults that velociraptors were both, still alive, and murdering people? I mean, well done.
KitaStorm can we appreciate the fact that jurassic park has created a real velociraptor
@@blackpanther827 I think we disagree on the definition of "real". Also, who let you out of Wakanda?
Yeah, and thus far I thought that dihydrogen monoxide panic was impossibly stupid yet clever. Apparently i still have too much faith in mankind. Although, with this kind of setup you could convince people that zombie-Jesus is loose.
@@mustpaike I never understood the zombie-Jesus thing. How is he different from regular zombies?
@@limiv5272 the hair, the beard, the crown, possibly a tattered robe. And also impaired speed of movement and manual dexterity due to injuries to his arms and legs. Also he can turn blood into spinal fluid and feed the whole zombie horde by sharing 5 brains amongst everybody.
The moral of the last story(for kids);
Always chew a fresh, new balloon.
I almost threw up on that one.
@@Lady.Firerose2013
I almost spit out my Pepsi through my nose
I wanna throw up when I saw that stroy
If you want to die.
*LAST DUDE GOT VIETNAM FLASHBACKS THE SECOND HE OPENED THE WRAPPER*
You're never too young to have a Vietnam Flashback.
Jacob's Rubber
I wanted to die
I honestly gagged a little😅 poor poor soul.
"I wonder how many fully functioning adults at prestigious universities think velociraptors are real"
NONE. The answer is NONE.
@@_JiminyCricket_ You are only correct on one count. Humanity is a sad thing sometimes. Sadly, these people can be counted as fully functioning, which would make you wrong on both counts, however, I agree with that they aren't and can put it up for debate.
Paulo Frota they are real, just not alive anymore. If it existed at any point in history (or pre-history), then it's real.
Unless your drunk
I mean, they are real, they’re just all dead. Very, _very,_ dead.
@@_JiminyCricket_ Most universities nowadays a pretty much just daycare centers for over sized toddlers
Velociraptors have been dead for 10,000 years. I’m dead 😂
They have been dead for 65 million years
Well to be fair he said over ten thousand years which while an understatement is technically correct. But man I loved that entire story.
Native Americans have been in the Americas longer than that.
GodOfPlague it’s like the “how many people are on earth?” questions, with the “at least 2” answers.
He's not wrong
Can we just take a moment someone convinced people there was a VELOCIRAPTOR?
Sorry ima clarify more in this edit. A man has convinced a ton of specimen, also known as a human that there was another specimen, that has been dead for many many years, in the species of dinosaur, a velociraptor in a building for school. Also now that i think about it, dont you think they wouldve evacced everyone?
It was a normal apartment that happened to have a lot of college students because it was near the school, and not only students lived there.
Yea, sounds logical to me
YOULL NEVER BEAT ME CRAZED CAT MY NEKOLUGA WILL DESTRUCC THEE!
@Reborn In Rationality yeah if the students thought there was a dinosaur, how did they get into college, because everyone knows there are only the descendants of dinosaurs
But they were drunk so, maybe they aren't so dumb, the parents are the dumb ones because they actually thought it was real, and they couldn't have been drunk
@@name-uh5ee easy college students are almost perpetually HIGH
1:18
20th September 2013: Velociraptor attack
20th September 2019: Alien attack
@Justin Ayalamartinez nah i saw it too
@Justin Ayalamartinez#metoo
"and *_PASSIONATELY HUG_* every girl in the house"
this is why i love rslash
He doesn't know that some people dispassionately 'hug'
I enjoyed the several "oh nos" at the end. It just brings it all home. To the parents bedroom.
Are you an accident
Far as I know, no but my parents have the mindset of that there are no accidents. Just things God gives you.
For all we know there could be a raptor descovered on September 20th 2019
and aliens at area 51
FuzionSteal did you notice the date on the note? It was SEPTEMBER 20TH
Habanero Gamer yeah
I watched raptors win a basketball championship, they're already here
Habanero Gamer i think thats what he meant...
You said what I was mouthing quietly and repeatedly, "Oh no..."
The first post with the raptor. When the Guard Got mad over people calling him i was like” OH YOU HAVE TO DO WORK! I AM SOOO SORRY THAT YOU HAVE TO WORK BECAUSE OF MY PRANK!”
Are you aware that guards have other jobs than just taking calls?
I did not say that guards only job is taking calls.
I'm more upset that Dino-boy got a fine. They should instead have talk to the others how retarted it is to get scarred over such an obvious joke.... or may send a fine to their parents instead for raising them so fragile and stupid
OP: TIFU by convincing my entire apartment building a velociraptor was on the loose.
*E X C U S E M E W H A T*
Somewhat fucked up, but it was certainly not dino-boy
I feel like Peanuts are gonna be the downfall of humanity.
Nah. Sonic is
Nah!
It's gunna be a freddery boi
You don't have to be. I am dissappoined too
No faking cherries are
I'm drinking peanut butter right now. But I blended it with milk and a banana to make a yummy protein shake.
Try adding some dry oats too 😊 just blend it really well so that the gritty texture goes away. Oats are great in smoothies
When I'm in college I'm gonna call my parents and tell them my friend got eaten by a velociraptor
See!! That's why people need to educate their children on "passionate hugging" no matter how religious they are! 😂
I dont think students think velociraptors are real, they'll just take anything for an extension :')
Mark Dice did a video asking people what they thought about Steven Spielberg's kids killing a triceratops, and sadly many thought it was true, even after he pointed out the extinction.
Kid: Mom, can we see the dinosaurs?
over protective mother: No, no, no, this is way too scary. Here, hide in this corner while I file a complain
many years later
physical grown kid: Velocerator? What is that? Dead? Oh no! HELP! I'M SCARED! MOMMY!!! WAAAAAH!
I think that last one.... really deserves a couple platinums to pay for therapy
*wakes up*
*💡*
I'm going to drink peanut butter
Bye have a good time
F
So... You alive
O O F
Well everyone I think there dead
For the last one... just... im wondering WHY his parents didn't throw it away
Also, his parents are hypocrites
His parents were married. There is usually a difference to most religious people. Sex between two unmarried partners = bad
Sex between you and your spouse = good
“Do you know how many calls security got?”
“No sir, I don’t work in security.”
For the first story, I would say that's the best 100 dollars ever spent.
"Chewing on a balloon"
I dont like where this is going
CrekA neither did 1 million viewers
I had no clue were it was going until they said "parents bedroom"
It's good that people share stories like these to help other people avoid such situations. Well, at least get them to think twice.
TIFU by saying frick in a christian Minecraft server.
Man I would Nope.outta that server as fast as possible
AWW HECK
i feeling the fucking up happened when you joined that server.....
How all the magic potions, enchantments and killing go with christianity?
@@megakaren2160 *𝙃𝙀𝘾𝘾*
That last one. I don't have the words to describe my horror.🤢 🤮
Also, whats the bet that the guy who broke the girl's teeth will end up marrying her?🤔
Yes
Now THAT would be a great "how I met your mother story"
It appears that he has a knockout personality
That first story was a mega r/wooosh to the people who actually believed that a VELOCIRAPTOR was coming. Smh.
Who would of have ever thought that drinking alcohol would be a bad idea? That’s crazy, nothing EVER goes wrong when you do that!
I demand you upload at a more appropriate time for Australia. 11pm is way too late for my son to stay up just to watch your videos. Actually, while you’re at it, I demand your whole channel for FREE.
:)))
Its kinda funny, because this is just content for us Aussie night owls.
Starsong Gamez I DEMAND you take down this post, how SEEELLLFFIISSSHH are youuu that you don’t think about my baaabbbbyyyyy (jk I’m aussie)
im surpose to be sleeping rn but i always pop in bed than watch vids till i sleep so idc much
@@piefire5713 sorry but i thought u said u poop in bed;;
@SorsuenTheWolf O rly? Wait until he makes an r/nosleep video, lol.
Op: “I convinced my aprtement residents that there was a velociraptor was on the loose”
Me: *UHHHHHHHHHHHH C O M E A G A I N?*
GASP THE VELOCIRAPTOR ATTACK WAS ON SEP 20TH GUESS WHATS HAPPENING AT SEP 20TH AS WELL
It's not September 11th so I have no clue
The Area 51 invasion?
OH SHIT
If we Naruto run on top of velociraptors we will move faster than their bullets
@@madokami03 good plan
I wouldn't've paid the first fine tbf, like, call the police and try to convince them someone started trouble over a dinosaur attack
tigurius555 unfortunately if it was a dorm situation they can kick you out over it. Even if the fine got dropped you still caused “panic” which in some places is grounds to kick you out. (Fucking stupid but that’s college)
No one:
Nobody:
Not a single soul:
RUclips: *Glares*
Rslash: PASSIONATELY HUGGED
I couldn't stop nervously laughing at that last one. And then after a minute I caught myself involuntary saying, "Oh no!" Poor OP. 😬😰🤢
Peanut butter dude who doesn’t have milk: Aaron Burr!
For the peanut butter story I was thinking "NEVER try this at home, kids. Leave it to the professional boneheads!"
When you have a very vivid and detailed imagination there are just some things you hear in a story that you can't get out of your head no matter how desperately you try! 😑😑 Thanks so much slash man!! 😉
I liked this video because the cries of despair at the end mirrored my own soul
First story:
OP: *does nothing wrong*
OAA: "I'm going to fine you for no reason!"
Oh my gosh! I am laying here in bed crying laughing at the dinosaur one trying not to bother my sleeping husband! That's so freaking funny!
me: consoles crying hot girl because her boyfriend dumped her and says "dont worry you'll be laughing about it in a month"
everyone else at the funeral: o o
0
TIFU when I heard a horrifying story about a guy who realized that he had been chewing used condoms when he was a kid. Now I'm trying to figure out how do I forget about ever hearing about this.
Dinosaur story kinda made me think how simplistically powerful we are...
That last one is the saddest thing I've ever heard. Also, how were his parents "disposing" of these condoms? Was he pulling them out of the trash, or were they just laying around the house? Because it sounds like they were just laying out for a child to find.
Okay..
Please tell me people don't actually believe there's a raptor in their building.. please tell me that's not real. Please tell me that people aren't actually freaking out. How can people at a prestigious University actually believe a DEAD AND EXTINCT CREATURE IS THERE?!
Free extension
Sad but true. People are this dumb.
For that last story, as Sterling Archer would put it: "There's not enough liquor and therapy in the world to undo that.". Pretty sure that guy desperately wishes he hadn't connected those dots.
Rslash: Talks about condom chewing
Me reminded of the movie coneheads: chewing gum?
LMAO. The last one. Poor guy/girl. That's something that will scar you for life.
For all we know, Karens may believe that dinos are still alive.
So those are the clildrens of karen?
The karens are a mysterious and mythical beings. We do not truely know what the children of karens look. Observing one could lead into a trap for both you and the manager.
I'd love to see a Karen ask a dinosaur to bring over its boss
That last one gets worse and worse that more you think about it...
"Oh no... oh no... oh noooo..." pretty much sums it up perfectly.
20th september 2013 velociraptor attack
20th september 2019 storming area 51
coincidence? i think not
For any of y'all who don't know, when microwaved sugar and fat heat up much quicker than literally everything else, especially water and whatever beans you stick in it...and peanut butter is 50% fat
I thought the drink pb would be an allergic reaction. Nope, I was very wrong
lol
The third story reminded me of my friend's brother. He was pretty drunk one night and thought he would get on one of those electric scooters to get home.
Since he's wasted, he's not really paying attention during the ride and he falls face down into the pavement!
I saw the aftermath.
The picture of him was when he was in the hospital, both front teeth missing and a face covered in blood.
He was probably on some pretty strong painkillers, cause he was giving a thumbs up. 😁
U were expecting peanuts but it was i DIO!
That velociraptor story is probably one of the funniest I've ever listened to. 3:48, I just laugh more and more while this guy is talking "I had parents calling in demanding to know about the situation. We had students asking if there was a bunker to hide in!" LIKE WHAT lmfAOOO
Velociraptors are already extinct, except in Jurassic World series
On the bright side, there's no denying she's pretty into him if she's still friendly and wants to hang out even after losing her 2 front teeth
Me: why am I allergic to peanut?
Body: because it dangerous
Me: but it's harmless
Body: but I don't like them lol
Me: I almost died
If I was that guy in the first story I would have been rolling on the floor in laughter, then print out about 100 pages explaining that velociraptors are not alive anymore and complaining about how badly the education system has failed them.
I have actually already read the peanut butter one. Anyways, one time at a party me and my friends were playing truth or dare and one of my friends dared one of the others to drink melted peanut butter(Same Reason). I instantly told them not to and when they asked why I showed them that same reddit post. Close call.
The last story even gave me the willies of "OH NO, OH NOO!!!!!"
Velociraptors aren't even THAT big. The one seen in the Jurrasic movies would technically be the Utah Raptor.
The dinosaur guy in the first story would be exactly what my boyfriend would do, he loves dinosaurs and definitely got a kick from this.🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
The dinosaur one funniest one and how the dinosaur is gone
Moral of the story: don't put "balloons" in your mouth. You don't know where they have been.
Hmmm 20th september huh oddly enough the same day as the area 51 raid coincidence
I think not
i keep on seeing the words area 51 raid in both comments and memes, but i don't know what it is, so im going to ask you. What is area 51?
@@wthomas8383
Ohhh, thank you😊❤
What makes the first one funnier is the fact that Velociraptors were only around the size of Turkeys, being 6ft long (lots of that being tail), 3ft tall and 15-30 pounds.
These stories make me feel better about my shitty existence.
About the dinosaur guy, I also learnt not to under estimate people’s stupidity the hard way, by assuming someone knew how to use a knob door handle.
R/ at the end "Oh no....Oh no...Oh NOOO!
Kool-Aid man: "Oh yeaaa
Also KAM: oh, OH... NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! *Jumps back through wall fixing it*
It's nice when these children finally grow up.
I nearly killed my self with a plastic spork
I used to dip sporks in chocolate for Christmas gifts. No joke.
@@MeganLee1313 Are we talking a chocolate coated spork situation, or an all-chocolate cake pop with the spork as a stick?
@@MeganLee1313 that's one way to save money
@@AmeshaSpentaArmaiti just a chocolate covered spork. We were weird teens. My friends loved it lol
@@Seribean44 it wasn't even to save money. My friends and I were weird lol
Oh god, the last one...I was a lot like him when I was a kid. I loved chewing on balloons and rubber bands. I guess it was kind of a sensory thing, but like...Now I'm just happy my parents were already basically separated by the time I was adopted, or...that could have happened to me.
i can in fact imagine the whole story of the condom and it will stay in my nightmares forever DAM IT
Alright, if for whatever reason, you want to drink peanut butter, you have to do it correctly. I usually heat it up in 15-second increments, it usually takes 45 seconds for me, but it really depends lol. Don't down it quickly either, just in case, I use a spoonful of the melted peanut butter to test it.
ME; Having breakfast bacon with cheese omelette.
R/slash; reads condom story.
ME; 🤢🤮 I did not need to hear that now
Oh my lord and savior especially because the the stuff you were eating oh no Oh No oH nO OH NOOOOO
@@Agemo5 OH YAAAAA!
Im filling in for MR. Red today
OMG the Dinosaur boy... LOL! He absolutely should have done the t-rex suit thing too. that would have been glorious!
A velociraptor is like the size of a chicken lol
its dangerous regarding the size of it.
A bit bigger but not as big as Jurasic Park says it is
To be fair they were still quite the predators. That’s like seeing a rabid wolf and saying “it’s the size of a dog lol”
The lady that the OP tripped, I would’ve ran as quick as possible after calling the ambulance
Who else wants to date their friends to drink hot peanut butter?
Charles Prenaveau you mean dare right
Crafter Gamer do I?
The moment he said that he microwaved the peanut butter. I knew. I just knew.
Wtf is wrong with those parents, take care of that crap:/
Peanut butter guy, you're not alone.
I freaking hate that stuff.
I really don't understand how ANYONE enjoys it.
Nothing about it is enjoyable. Flavor. Texture. Consistency. Color. Smell. It's just... ugh.
16 minute video and 3 ads...
“Perfectly balanced, as all things should be.”
lol what're you talking about? I got one in the beginning that's it
I got 3... 🤔
I tried to heat up peanut butter so I could drink it once. It looked ok, but when I picked up the cup to take it out of the microwave, the peanut liquid poured out of the bottom. The hot peanut oil had melted right through the bottom of the cup. That was the end of that experiment.
Also 1 view 10 comments 8 likes
RUclips go home you're drunk
Everyone is tired of people doing this can you stop, if you just give it a second and reload the video it will be fixed, it just can't keep up with how many people click at a time, and the numbers don't update unless you reload the video or page
ikr annoying kids does this.
I agree with the replies, *stop, gets some help*
ruclips.net/video/ZazNbG_3m9A/видео.html
The dinosaur prankster is hilarious - makes me get the nostalgic feels for the game "Jurassic Park" for SNES... my lil bro and I would crack up laughing every time you turn a corner or the elevator opens, and there's a raptor just like "HEYYYY!"
9 comments, but only 1 view. RUclips is drunk again! 😂😂😂😂
What does it drink?
Isn’t it always? :)
Dio Brando it depends on what mood they are in
So if they're high they're drinking coke?
Dio Brando yeah they drink that a lot
How to teach your children abstinence and ensure they will never have any juicy thoughts again:
Use balloons!
That last story made me scream in terror
The story with the girl and her missing teeth is that type of story where guy does something without thinking and then has to take responsibility and marry her.
Pretty sure if they get together after all of that, it would be a great How I Met Your Mother story, and they would laugh about it together.