I remember some sneaker commercial with two African dudes out in the Serengeti. And A lion spots them. one of the guys reaches into his bag and pulls out a pair of sneakers and puts them on. The other guy says do you really think that’ll make you run faster than a lion. the guy says no but I’ll run faster than you. Lol
I wonder how tough a bear or a crocodile or a Lion would be when they are attacking you and you start to stab them many times with 2 fucking big sharp knives while you are screaming in pain and with adrenaline rush. I 'm dying but you will not live much longer you fucking crazy bear!
Fucking thank you. When we were moving a black bear cub started digging Into our trash. My family gave me alot of shit but I grabbed a bat and charged the bear. Guy ran off, Grizzlies are a different fucking story.
4:22 ... Bill, i chased a black bear out of the 1st floor from the restaurant i used to work at in Yosemite. I placed my hands up, yelled and walked toward it. Fucker ran out. Someone had left the back door open after their night shift at the deli downstairs. (Degnans Pizza Loft was located upstairs where i worked ----- don't eat the food at National Parks, bring your own food.)
The Maverick Mind black bears are timid asl tho,almost push overs tbh,but not completely.Plus,there was no point of killing u since it has food around it,and it wasn’t a mom with cubs
When it comes to you wearing a costume for a gig...lay all of the items on the floor and sit beside them. Invite the fur baby over to sniff all the items as you pick them up. Then have her watch you put each piece on,stopping between each one to praise her if she has a cool reaction. It's her seeing the sudden change in you,even if she hears your voice,that may be causing the over reaction.best of luck with the situation.
+omghahaxd You scared me there for a second. I thought I was out of touch with the times and the term furbaby had fallen out of good standing. Ends up I just accidentally fed a troll. Sorry to hear about your warped view on the differences between animals and humans. Good luck with that.
YEAH!! How dare you offer sincere advice in a comment! This is a place for indiscriminate hate and snappy insults! You take your goodwill toward strangers and you get the hell out!
I always thought I was the only one terrified of the ocean, but recently realized many others were as well. Especially the Antarctic... gives me the creeps just fucken thinkin about that shit.
Wish I could, American Pit bull is unfairly on the dangerous dogs list here in UK, muzzled and leashed at all times in public, not a great life for such energetic and social dogs :-(
I wonder how tough a bear or a crocodile or a Lion would be when they are attacking you and you start to stab them many times with 2 fucking big sharp knives while you are screaming in pain and with adrenaline rush. I 'm dying but you will not live much longer you fucking crazy bear!
You shoulda got some damn treats, and taken it easy with your dog, put a barrier between you, but one she can see through. Throw her the treats. She'll work out you're her mate.
I've had a pitt before never had this problem, but I did have a German shepherd rottweiler mix...she's the bitch who tried to kill me (her owner) as I walked in the door in the middle of the night smh.
Last second you see a great white well I better swim below it. Damn ass ppl N the bear I running my ass off and if I get caught least I tried. Let me try n scare a bear yeah right
FreeHomeBrew Okay do you know how far apart a sharks eyes are. And you would also need to stay calm, a dodge it's rampage., Not only that get so close to it's mouth that you coul reach both of it's eyes.
"wow that's a very talented ant" *SMOSH*
darkblood626 the fact that it just came out and wasn’t a written I joke I had to pause and listen to the delivery to laugh twice as hard lol
"You don't know how close you just came."
"When was the last time you saw Bear lose a barfight?" LMFAO
Everyone's been in the zone before. This 10 minutes is a pro comedian in the zone.
Bill is always in the zone!
I remember some sneaker commercial with two African dudes out in the Serengeti. And A lion spots them. one of the guys reaches into his bag and pulls out a pair of sneakers and puts them on. The other guy says do you really think that’ll make you run faster than a lion. the guy says no but I’ll run faster than you. Lol
He’s got some of the best improvisational skills of any comedian.
imagine getting chased by a shark and as soon as you got to the shore it jumped up and chased you 😂😂
I lost 5 lbs laughing. That's why every car has a backup camera.
wow that's a very talented ant...smooosh!!! I'm in stitches!
A shark at a bar with a reverse oxygen mask LOL
"...it's called the buddy system.." !
Read it just as he said it.
"I would just pick up rocks along the way and stone it to death" lmfao
I wonder how tough a bear or a crocodile or a Lion would be when they are attacking you and you start to stab them many times with 2 fucking big sharp knives while you are screaming in pain and with adrenaline rush. I 'm dying but you will not live much longer you fucking crazy bear!
@@madjackalwes776 dont think you would get in many blows. Lions are huge and RIDICULOUSLY strong seconds after the pounce you'd be incapacitated.
😂😂😂 "fat people cant back up cars" I feel attacked!
'You remember Roger Ebert before he died?" roflmao savage
"So these fatties got this dog"😂
4:34 nah nah bruh not all bears. Black bears u get big n loud, grizzly bear u play dead, polar bears...u dead
Fucking thank you. When we were moving a black bear cub started digging Into our trash. My family gave me alot of shit but I grabbed a bat and charged the bear. Guy ran off, Grizzlies are a different fucking story.
@@Kainpound Probably not wise without a gun handy.
"My chihuahua killed your pit , how? Pretty sure he got wedged in his throat"
Seal - Verzi 100% 🤣
'When pitbulls go to 'fuck this mode' it's too late to take off the wig"
4:22 ... Bill, i chased a black bear out of the 1st floor from the restaurant i used to work at in Yosemite. I placed my hands up, yelled and walked toward it. Fucker ran out. Someone had left the back door open after their night shift at the deli downstairs. (Degnans Pizza Loft was located upstairs where i worked ----- don't eat the food at National Parks, bring your own food.)
The Maverick Mind black bears are timid asl tho,almost push overs tbh,but not completely.Plus,there was no point of killing u since it has food around it,and it wasn’t a mom with cubs
Their big Fred Flintstone water head can just sit there.
1:55 LOL! You don't know how close you just came.
Do NOT try and outrun a bear !!!.
Super!!!!
"Reverse oxygen mask with water in it" lol
"Fuck This Mode!!!" is classic!!!
Bill Burr should be in the next die hard movie lol.
When it comes to you wearing a costume for a gig...lay all of the items on the floor and sit beside them. Invite the fur baby over to sniff all the items as you pick them up. Then have her watch you put each piece on,stopping between each one to praise her if she has a cool reaction. It's her seeing the sudden change in you,even if she hears your voice,that may be causing the over reaction.best of luck with the situation.
+omghahaxd You have my interest. Exactly how have I throughly offended you by speaking an endearing term for animals?
+omghahaxd You scared me there for a second. I thought I was out of touch with the times and the term furbaby had fallen out of good standing. Ends up I just accidentally fed a troll. Sorry to hear about your warped view on the differences between animals and humans. Good luck with that.
YEAH!! How dare you offer sincere advice in a comment! This is a place for indiscriminate hate and snappy insults! You take your goodwill toward strangers and you get the hell out!
Burr is the king of improv I swear to god
How’s the shark gonna bite with a reverse oxygen mask??? 😆
Is that where it all fell apart for you?
"So these fatties got this dog..."
I always thought I was the only one terrified of the ocean, but recently realized many others were as well. Especially the Antarctic... gives me the creeps just fucken thinkin about that shit.
👍
I love dogs.
Knew this was posted between December and February based on his voice. (Bills got a cold)
Well that got depressing
I wonder if billy beats plays traditional or contemporary style with the stix…
Pit bulls are good dogs :) adopt them more please
Nah
Wish I could, American Pit bull is unfairly on the dangerous dogs list here in UK, muzzled and leashed at all times in public, not a great life for such energetic and social dogs :-(
What one of my friends looks like a seal... Bob Kelly
I wonder how tough a bear or a crocodile or a Lion would be when they are attacking you and you start to stab them many times with 2 fucking big sharp knives while you are screaming in pain and with adrenaline rush. I 'm dying but you will not live much longer you fucking crazy bear!
I'm definitely a little overweight, trying to lose... And that back up camera thing... damn, I think he might be right.
You shoulda got some damn treats, and taken it easy with your dog, put a barrier between you, but one she can see through. Throw her the treats. She'll work out you're her mate.
What?
The movie Sharknado will tell you anything you need to know about survival. You're welcome.
Bill seems so risk adverse, won't go in the sea because of sharks, but will have a dog that will kill him if it doesn't recognize Bill? Fuck that.
The dude is a comedian.Half the stuff he says is to add to comic element.
Calico he has that dog cause his wife wanted it
I've had a pitt before never had this problem, but I did have a German shepherd rottweiler mix...she's the bitch who tried to kill me (her owner) as I walked in the door in the middle of the night smh.
Last second you see a great white well I better swim below it. Damn ass ppl
N the bear I running my ass off and if I get caught least I tried. Let me try n scare a bear yeah right
When fighting animals that can kill you, just fight dirty. Gouge out their eyes n shit, if you even get the chance.
That totally works bro. You hear that on shark week?
keysersozae Nah I just figure it's sensible to go for weaknesses.
FreeHomeBrew Okay do you know how far apart a sharks eyes are. And you would also need to stay calm, a dodge it's rampage., Not only that get so close to it's mouth that you coul reach both of it's eyes.
sha floyd Well the point where you attack its eyes is not when you're several feet away. It's when you're basically already caught but not dead yet.
syou do understand the shark will still het you. it can smell your blood. punching it in the nose is the only logical thing.
Anything smaller than a beagle isn’t a dog. In my opinion.
Yet another reason not to have a dog.