New Rule: Who Is Donald Doing? | Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO)
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- Опубликовано: 8 сен 2024
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There have been over 1,200 books written about the Trump presidency and there's a burning question that not one of them has answered.
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This one is historic. Nowhere, no way, no how has anyone ever come up with a troll of this magnitude. I bow to your comedic genius.
Yes!
Just wow, sometimes. Good on ya, Bill
I think Captain Ho Lee Fuk and his crew still takes troll of the century, but this was pretty sic
Hey Mango where you been? 🙂
This is Trump Derangement Syndrome: when you desperately seek Trump's attention you do a bit about his sex life which is inconsequential.
This "New Rule" is a bit weird, not to say obsessive Maher.
"has the loyalty of a pet scorpion" - That was a genius line.
This is the comment I was looking for haha
That and the Nick Cannon line
This needs to be posted to Truth Social!
One of the best 'new rule' segments I've seen to date. Keep asking the questions no one else will. Two thumbs up.
Now that’s the Bill Maher I know and love! Personally I think of all the reasons Bill mentioned, the last one was correct - after all his addiction to Adderall has those kinds of side effects!
I know the answer it’s the female dog named cannon that’s why she is stuck to him
Knowing that he's watching this and fuming puts a smile on my face.
Knowing you people think this puts a giant one on mine lmao so deluded
I can assure you, President Trump doesn't waste his time watching unintelligent vulgar people try desperately to be funny, but never will be. Pretty stupid and boring material.
He saw your comment too 😅
@@Kurt77777 we know for a fact that Trump watches Real Time segments because he bitches about what Bill Maher says every other week. You can’t pretend he isn’t the thin skinned man-baby he is.
@@n1kobefan
Looks like Bill managed to troll you AND Trump😂
"Lindsey Graham could be involved" - LOL
I loved that line, too 🤣
The best!!!
Lindsey Graham is an Incel
He just hasn't met the right girl yet I tell you
Lady Lindsey is def involved.
WHY CAN'T WE UNEARTH HIS BONE................HYSTERICAL. BEST LINE EVER.
Hats off to the “Real Time” team for this one. Classic!
It was especially good!!! 💖
How he did this whole skit for 8 minutes without even cracking once is amazing!
He does have the occasional smirk of self approval
Very good writing. 👍
He almost did but he restrained himself.
THIS is how to bait a narcissicist
He will surely reply because he can’t resist it 😂
I think that what Bill said at the end is more likely than not. For most men of that age the prostate is the culprit.
@@magicmarker7047 At least some good news for Melania
@@magicmarker7047 His age, terrible diet, drugs, etc. The mushroom is probably completely kaput.
Yup. Maher is clearly a master baiter.
I was in tears with this. LMFAO!
This was the best bill Maher I've ever seen ! Fukkin genius!!
“The loyalty of a pet scorpion” !! Love this.
lol that’s the one joke in the segment I didn’t get.
Is the implication they’re prone to stinging you, or that they’re prone to running away?
@@robynsun_love both
This has to be one of your best bits on this show. Bravo !
This was great. Maher at his best. The fact it was on Trump is icing on the cake.
It was a long walk, but boy was it worth it. Thanks Bill, sometimes the bully has it coming. Sincerely, A Suburban Housewife
You are totally correct!
Who hurt you?
Not only worth it, but needed. Melania probably watched that and had her first heartfelt smile in over 6 years.
And EVERY step of that long walk was amazing.
This was THE EPIC troll. Great job. Can’t stop laughing. That delivery 🔥🔥🔥. Now that’s straight comedic genius. Keep it up 👍🏾
It was perfection (*chef's kiss)
BILL'S WRITERS ARE BRILLIANT, I DON'T ALWAYS LIKE BILL, OR AGREE WITH HIM AS AN OLD LADY OF 80, BUT THIS WAS GREAT, I CAN ALSO ASSURE HIM, I AM NOT, "DOING tRUMP," OR HE'D NOT EVEN HAVE A MUSHEROOM SHAPED DICK, BUT A STUMP!!
Too bad Donald can't.
Can't unearth his bone - oh my god that one made me laugh so hard I choked!!!
Just found you on RUclips (I'm from UK). Thank you for making me laugh so much about this ex president nutcase! You are brilliant.
And let's hope to God that he is never re-elected to lead this country again. He is unhinged and crass as F. He's an embarrassment to our country. Pray for us in the USA.
“Lindsey Graham could be involved”😂😂😂
😅😂😂that's a good one .Miss Lindsey is crying for the Donald😂
And right after the Graham reference, Bill mentioned Hannity, too. That was a bit hard to catch with the laughter aimed at Graham.
Bill, this may be THE funniest thing you've ever written and delivered with perfection. Absolutely beyond fantastic.
he has a staff of writers
@@chrisbrown2211 He would have to. The bit kept going and going, one hilarious statement after another. Record-setting laughs. Are you on his staff?
@@bonnieforman9700 no
His staff of writers probably listened to him rant on this and then put together the best and funniest parts of what he said. If you listen to his podcast you would know this is definitely Bill and not just his writers.
@@stephaniechampion7260 It is imperative to hear your thoughts out loud to know if they are making sense to someone else. Writers sit around talking thoughts out either among themselves or out loud alone before they know it will work. Bill has probably had this boiling on a back burner for a while.
From New Zealand, im a super fan, touche Bill, excellent comedy and humor, very well done Sir
It's so cool you watch Bill in New Zealand. Although the whole world is looking at our country and think there's a lot of crazies here. I'm embarrassed at the stupidity of my fellow Americans.
As the minutes wore on I kept wondering, why is Bill so fixated on this subject? Until I realized it’s one epic troll. 😂. Well done sir.
Several of Bill's guests have said that DJT is fucking Ivanka.
Bill and all of the fascist Trump haters are just jealous that they'll never have the women, money, and fame that President Trump has had.
A very funny bit, and I hope we never get answers... And let's not ask again, please!
Bill wishes. he could roll naked in Trumps money.
An maybe The Chump will respond to this Bill's big brain move.
This was spectacular. The way he kept on diverting our attention towards a "juicy" topic just to troll him about his lack of prowess was a thing of beauty and the perfect example of comedic storytelling! Bill, you're on a roll and I love your show!
He's not giving trump the rub he's giving libs the rub it's sarcasm you don't get it.
@@garysatterlee7430 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂 you keep telling yourself that.
@@garysatterlee7430 Ok Gary, keep living in Fantasy Land with unicorns that can fly.
@@garysatterlee7430 giving libs the rub? 😂🤦🏻♂️😂 how much is a Trump only fans subscription and do you get the 🍄 pics or are they extra?
so boring.... so vulgar... so old fashioned.... Not funny, just boring.
The very last sentence is pure genius. Well done Bill. One of your best.
Shut up lol
No. This is cringe, and sad. And not at all funny. The Obsession that is Trump Derangement Syndrome is f**king weird. And this bit is an example of Maher thinking nonstop about Orange Man.
@@a.i.8583 don’t watch!
Answer: He is F***ing everybody, and has been for 6 years!
@@a.i.8583 you got no humor! The fact that it's all true make it even more hilarious.
Just found this. OMG! Can't stop laughing. Has to be one of the funniest "You tube" videos ever. "Not hung like it should be" I am hysterical.
The writers deserves a yuuuuge bonus for this MASTERPIECE!
You are like Pavlov's dog, conditioned to laugh after hearing "Trump"
“Why can’t we unearth his bone?” I died !!!
Who else is waiting for a response from Don to this? And there will be one....for sure.
So funny, I actually started the timer!~~~~
@@lisamariebarker6816
What's funny is how delusional the left is. You think you're so relevant and important and that everyone cares what you have to say. Of course President Trump isn't going to respond because he's not watching, doesn't care, and isn't as childish as Bill Maher and his viewers.
You know it!!!
The Donald is too busy celebrating the Republican win in the election.
I am. It'll be like watching a bass being reeled in. Lots of floundering around and the joke on the fish is that it's a catch-and-release sport.
The Mike Pence gag was priceless!!!!
If I'm ever elected to any office, I will use this wonderful rant as the template for every speech I am obligated to make. Great writing, five gold stars and a question mark 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟❓
Without a doubt, hands down, the most laser beam sharp New Rule ever. Absolutely brilliant, and Best of Bill funny.
You were on fire tonight Bill. Haven't laughed this hard in a while.
then you would fit perfectly in his audience of seals.....lol
@@huntercalgary Could not agree more. I was going to make the same comment and saw this. It almost sounds like a crazy hyped up laugh track. Where do these people come from?
I couldn't disagree more. This was the weakest segment I may have ever seen of his.
@@nomadtrails I was agreeing with @huntercalgary, not the original poster...
You tryna buy a bridge or na?
Maybe he is hiding them in his secret room in his Mar a Lago suite!
This was the most lethal new rule in the history of the show. What an epic troll. Bill Maher is a genius.🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Except he doesnt write his own material.
Ms. Lindsey Graham is most definitely involved!!! 😏
This wasn't a good troll at all.
@@dimitriousdevilboon7714 neither does your Mom
A "genius" because he's trying to taunt the most tauntable person on the planet? You know he didn't invent trolling, right?
This one will go down in the books for a loooong time - and will also age very well. No holds barred - historic and hilarious. Thank you Mr. Maher - ✌️❤️🇨🇦
Bill, you outdid yourself with this one. I recorded your show last night and had to keep rewinding to catch lines I missed due to laughing so hard. We all know he watches your show and you know he wont be able to not respond in some way. Bill, you are a genius and a national treasure. Love you ♥️
he watches it by accident
I had to forward this to my kids, we all live in Australia, Bill’s best work y et !
I seriously doubt he watches this show. He’s been getting unhinged
insults for the past 6 years. Does someone actually think he cares at this point?😂
@@kevinbishop6582 Yes, yes Trump does care, and will demand to see this because of his vanity, and then won't understand the humor and become insulted, and will then attempt to strike back.
Which makes this joke even better!
Even if he sees this, he may not perceive it as an insult.
What’s the message here-that Former Guy is a playboy and must be getting some on the side? That has always been part of the public image he has cultivated!
The possibility that he’s not up to doing all that much-which Bill finally acknowledges-is the only thing that might set him off.
In his conclusion, Bill pulls that particular punch; but it probably comes closest to the truth.
That monologue was absolutely SAVAGE
Totally. And I'm a bona fide Savage.
Really? Idk man whats wrong with you guys that this gets you off? I'm not a fan of Trump but I didn't laugh once. Must be just those that laugh at snl as well. One fawked sense of humor.
@@societylost4344 What's funny isn't the subject (Bill couldn't care less who's blowing Dump), it's all about the troll. This will give that thin-skinned narcissistic lying traitor a stroke. Seriously Dude, we don't care if you have no sense of humour, but do you have to be a dark cloud over the rest of us? Go be boring somewhere else.
@@JeffBondOO7 Comedy? Comedy is dead! Because of you guys! Don't you guys attack comedians when they say shit that offends you?
@@JeffBondOO7 nobody thinks snl is funny either except people who worship celebrities.
Genius writing. Brilliant delivery.
Comedy Gold. I almost couldn't believe how long he kept it going.
Great Stuff Bill. ⭐
Kept it going much longer than Trump probably can these days!
I hadn't thought about it before Bill mentioned it, and I really don't want to know, but it is weird that we haven't heard anything about it. "A cult leader who's not restrained by his wife, his options, or his morals." Priceless!
And true. Who cares about the Donald and his (im)possible sex life anyway? Still kind of it intriguing...
He's restrained by his options because he only likes blondes
It's Maggie Haberman
@@pumpkineater629 Hahaha. 🤯
We even know about Eisenhower's and Hoover's sex lives... so, Trump should be a no-brainer.
" she won't even give him hand !"
Priceless........🎯
If you rated this on a 1 thru 10 l would give it a 1,000. Great job Bill.
I give it a 1. Bill is far from being a comedian
@@a.i.8583 😂
@@a.i.8583 Heya @A I , I agree but that was a beauty, for a guy playing catch+up, eh ?
Priceless entertainment. Hilarious. Perfect timing !
"She won't even give him hand."
I was on floor for that one.
Trump's hand has no hair..... That's proved when he holds it up during his speeches.
May be she doesn't like tiny hands🤣🤣🤣
It's not in her contract!
😂😂😂😂😂😂
The Mike Pence joke... damn that was good.
I literally laughed out loud at that. Brilliant!
That pause before the punchline was delicious
Masterclass in joke telling.
Wow!!!!!!!!!!😂
Bill will be hearing from Pence and Graham's lawyers/spokeman on Monday. 🤣😂🤣
This performance deserves an Emmy!
The Maher bit that had Trump show his birth certificate to prove his was nt spawned by a orangatange was the best. He said he would give trump 5 million dollars. Trump bit. Showed his birth cert. That was a copy just like obamas that trump denied. Trump tried to sue maher for the 5 million. Clownshow trump at his best.
That was the best yet Bill!!! Priceless!! Your writers need a raise because that was perfection.
I thought he himself wrote the script. Doesn't he?
@@KlausSgroi No. He writes his own material for his comic career, but he puts this show together with a team of writers. I’m sure he participates and punches things up though.
@@KlausSgroi All famous comedians above a certain level, have writers.
He's f&$#ing Democracy😂
I love how last week’s new rules was dark and ominous and this week it’s the exact opposite: light and hilarious 😅
The passing of Midterms is the difference.
Our "late-night" TV comedians (incl. Maher, Oliver, Noah, Bee, and Stewart) are the barometers/seismometers of pressure and stress in American society.
Occasionally, they also serve as relief valves.
He was convinced the Red Wave Republicans were promising was going to happen. Now everyone has breathed a sigh of relief. I knew the polls couldn't be right. NO WAY women, especially young women, were going to just shrug at RvW and say "oh well, nothing to do here". I have a Millenial and a GenZ. I KNOW they don't answer their phones or volunteer for polls. So why did every pollster ignore these facts?
@@PogueMahone1 you forgot the father of them all, Colbert lol
Why it’s almost as if Liberals are manic or something…
I threw my napkin at him last week. I never thought there was going to be a red wave and was pissed with his comment about the dems getting their ass handed to them on a platter. You got it really wrong Maher, you should have taken Michael More more seriously. He knew, I knew, you didn't. But thanks for manning up, I forgive you.
As an avid fan I must say this show tonight was spectacular kudos to the writers and of course to Bill Maher 🤓
ruclips.net/video/7r6rG36z0Eo/видео.html
Pure genius Bill`s team surpassed itself with this episode!
I must say I HATE the audience. Clapping like seals for anything Bill says, even when it’s not an important meaningful point
Whose blowing Donald trump bill Maher is
This has been a great day for me. This morning I heard that Ukrainian troops were in Kherson and then Bill made me laugh out loud for 10 minutes. Thanks Bill!
Russia made an agreement with Germany and are keeping 40% of Ukraine.
Judge Cannon, Kari Lake, Alina Hobba, just name a few
Alina Habba
Fucking SAVAGE! This was an absolute masterclass in trolling.
This is one of the most EPIC BURNS of all time! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
That was the knock out punch 👏👏👏
Ugh! Please stop. That's the umpteen millionth "knock out punch". And every single previous one turned out to be celebrating too soon. I want to see real consequences for him, too. But let's wait into they actually come.
Who wants a ruler with only 4" on it. You can't even get a sheep with that they will say Baahhhh go screw yourself, Wee hands Mc Nodick . At least it looks big in his tiny hands even though they stroke is only a half and inch movement. He couldn't molest Topo Gigo with something that small ,right Eddie.
Bill is awesome in this episode!!!
OMG,this was the most hilarious skit I’ve heard from Bill in quite awhile. 😂
OHH EMMM GEEEEEE !!!!! how fucking dramatic.
@@kizmetgraphics No, you're just bitter.
Maher a turncoat lightweight showing his lowest depths.
One of the best monologues in a long while 👍
This is one of the best "New Rules" and a great question!
Damn! Bill really threw it down with this one. I was laughing so hard.
Brilliant writing and incredible delivery! had to listen to this twice!
"The loyalty of a pet scorpion".
Great line.
I was laughing so hard 😂!
"Because it's not hung like it should be" may be the greatest punch line of all time.
Yeah they should give that writer a big bonus.
Now *that* was a punchline for the ages. 😂
This is a MASTERCLASS in how to bait the hook... I wish I could be a fly on the wall in Mar-a-whatever the fuck it is called watching veins popping all over the former Pumpkinhead-in-Chiefs forehead as he listened to those last 2 minutes... FUCKING BRILLIANT BILL!!!
mar-a-lardo
I always go for 'Mega-Lardo' - kinda makes sense.
As for his ho-hum (at best) golf course here in Ireland - "ClownBeg".
The veins are popping on his upper head but not the lower one, cuz his blood is like 99% KFC.
The question isn't so much who is servicing him, or can he or can't he, but who and how is he even being kept alive? The man is old and obese. It could be pure hate and narcissism keeping him alive but that USUALLY isn't sustaining..
I think the troll is now fed. The last 5 Family Buckets will have done it.
Nice and I mean NICE to see Bill more LIGHT HEARTED here and STILL make an F’ing point that needed to be made 😂💜😂💜🤘
I've never laughed at a youtube video as much as this one.
Had to watch this over three times. Couldn’t stop laughing 😂 😂😂😂
Me too!
Me three!
Me four.
Twice to believe it 😂
Kind of feels dated, I expected more from Bill.
Bill on fire tonight!🔥 🤣
Master troll class of historic proportions in session! 😊
This was outstanding. It's not often something makes me literally laugh out loud but I was in stitches throughout this.
You are like Pavlov's dog, conditioned to laugh after hearing "Trump"
"Mike Pence--because it's not hung right"
One of the very best New Rules of all time!! Every line, the whole build up, the delivery. Just perfect.
Whenever someone guarentees you theres no problem, thats almost always a sign that theres a problem 😂
Specially if extra activity is taking place in the background.
Especially T as he always says the opposite of the truth or projects
Move along people, there is nothing to see here!
Here's some commas for you to use in the future so you don't look like a Republican illiterate. ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
"Mushroom-boy" uses PROPECIA for hair baldness,
and some of the side-effects are E.D. 🍄😂😂
My faith in Bill Maher was restored. This is pure brilliance!
You are like Pavlov's dog, conditioned to laugh after hearing "Trump"
can u see my comment
@@peorakef I never lost my faith in BIll Maher!
@@ogionwiz and you're what comes out of Pavlov's dog and we have to carry around plastic bags and pick it up! I just thought of something, it's a perfect definition for the Maga crowd, they just walk around shitting in everyone's yard and then make the rest of us clean it up!💙
@@marthashandley2637 well, you are laughing when you hear a pathetic joke, but it is about Trump. So what I've said is true. You have replied with childish attempt of insult based on nothing. But its ok, I didn't expect any smart reply from any leftists. But please, tell me, what is funny about assumption that Trumps dick doesn't work? Lets even pretend that it is true, and for some reason you care. So what exactly is funny?
What did I just walk into? 😂😂😂 that was funny and painfully true… every month there’s some celebrity sex scandal story in the media but nothing about that guy.
I laughed at this until I was sick!
Man, I hope Trump would just go away.
So do i
Amen
Step one... Stop talking about him.
I never hear about him except from people like Bill Maher tbh
Me too. Well, maybe Bill is trying to give him a coronary...
One of Maher's best and funniest bits. Bill has been so serious lately its nice to see him be silly again.
The best roast ever!
This heat from this roasting was on a nuclear level.
“All the loyalty of a pet scorpion.”
Sums up his crew beautifully
mind you it's the best of pet scorpions!
Sums him up perfectly too. You get what you deserve.
@@nefigushki
The greatest. Other scorpions, total disasters. These scorpions…beautiful
@@robo5013
You can judge a man by the company he keeps.
This is one of his best commentaries ever.
This ought to get old Donald fired up😂
Great work Bill, keep up the good work.
Absolutely a Classic. "Well, maybe there is a problem"!!! You've done it again Bill.
😂🤣😅 Maher you make my day 🎉😂🤣😅
Bill going hard in the paint at the end. Love it
Much needed comic relief. Worthy of watching a 2nd time. Thanks Bill!
I would guess Margie Greene!! yuk!!!
@@cathybohl8715 I shuddered at the mere thought…
This makes the last two years worthwhile.
@@cathybohl8715 He just can't look down lol
One of his most funny New Rules in YEARS! 😂
I loved this one!
This was awful. Kinda gross really. I get it, trying to troll/bait Trump. Didn't think this could be anyone's favorite...
@@rw6497 OMG dude..lighten up. He deserves everything he gets. He's a horrible horrible person!
Let yourself laugh man. Americas been waiting for 6+ years to laugh again.
He's been exposed to everyone now....come on...that was funny. Not gross. Gross is the dead family members who would be alive today if he'd done his fkn job instead of worrying about how bad he'd look just admitting the fkn virus was REAL!! THATS GROSS FRIEND!
@@rw6497 oke greg
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣I almost spilled my cuppa ☕😂.
Throw in Cofeve Bill🤣🤣🤣and he was America's Number 45🤪really America?
The world is still laughing 🤣🤣🤣.
I'm back for more 😅cannot resist this sketch. 😂
This was just what I needed! Thank you Bill, I think you're awesome👍
We all benefited from this magnificent presentation.
Yeah I really needed this. I haven't laughed so hard in such a long time. Bill knocked it out of the park with this one.
Lol, this was amazing. I needed a funny new rules after last week.
Trump is like NERÓN or CALIGULA - this Bill was hilarious!!!!
There are some things that just can’t be bought ! Bill is the best !
Wow that Mike pence line was brutal 🤣🤣🤣🤣
“It’s well known evangelical chicks are the freakiest.“
Spot on, Bill.
"Maga SLUTS" 🤣 his delivery was impeccable
I doubt Bill Maher has been much around any. Florida girls come in absolutely all kinds, and the Southern party girl type does too, and can be that way until die.
OMG.............Paula White?
🤢🤢🤮🤮
It's true
they can't compete with liberal hollywood.
"...everyone around him has the loyalty of a pet 🦂 "....
🤣🤣
Best segment ever!!!
He should have meant loyalty of a cat to be on point.. 😹😹😹
@@whatsgoingon92 Na. Bill didn't want to risk getting cancelled by cat lovers.
@@carriestuart9921 that was purrrrrfect
@@kenbredow8727 Thanks 😁
Nobody, thats why his mind is melting………..truly😊
I watched this twice. Masterpiece 😂🤣🤣🙌🏾
I’ve watched this many times and have laughed the same as the first time. The best New Rule to date.
Like Pavlov's dog you were conditioned to laugh after hearing "Trump"
Savage!!!!! That was absolutely fantastic. Coming from a trump voter here lol