A Badass Reaction For When He Pulls Away | Do THIS When He Goes Silent
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- Опубликовано: 10 июл 2024
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Quite frankly, I've learned to invest as much as they do. If they need to push & pull to feel comfortable and in control of their emotions and the situation of a relationship... I have finally decided to let them. I'm as busy and important as they are. I know that I haven't done a damn thing wrong. You are not going to obstruct my peace, joy, and security, because of the crap you've been through.
“You are not going to obstruct my happiness...because of the crap you’ve been through.” Annette, that’s brilliant!
OK??? Easy.. brezzy..nice and easy.....hmm❤️
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Whatzapp him now
@@gbadongodtime2574 and who was this great man?.
If a man pulls away i accept their desire not to want to be in contact with me. Their wish is my command. BYE.
I know that there's nothing wrong with me. I have done nothing wrong, besides be secure and mature. These men are eff'd-up. They're damaged. They're afraid. They need therapy. If they pull back. I pull back. When they want to talk. I talk.
These F’d up men have F’d me up… there is no hope for them; they just deceive on every level just to get sex & validation…
@@orianna9200 … Ty 🥰 & yes they will use us & the last one was married to boot… He went through a lot of trouble to deceive me & when I researched him, he hadn’t even been remarried for even a year… I feel sorry for his young pretty wife that he also deceived, but I’m not wasting any more of my energy to butt in & tell her, it may have been an open marriage or something I wouldn’t understand. 🤷🏻♀️ It’s realistic real world dating for me now… if I can’t vet them & see them & their life up close & personal it’s a No-Go
@@orianna9200 It was non touch, so emotional cheating at the most. It’s not my place. I’m not the marriage law & it’s not illegal & I’ve wasted enough of my energy on him…I felt the deception in my gut/ intuition & she will too if she levels up…& usually the women are in denial & ego hurt & don’t want to believe it was their man to blame & want to hate the woman that was deceived… I don’t need that drama
@@orianna9200 Nope, not an open marriage except to him…No remorse & loyalty only to himself
@@orianna9200 yeah ton’s of the red pill nutters, all of them think they’re victims… it’s disgusting when you think women had hardly any rights until 101 years ago when they had to fight for the right to vote… my great gramma couldn’t vote & definitely lived under a patriarchal environment…Spanish
I recently dated a man for 9 months. In that time he stopped talking to me three times for two weeks each time. I knew after the first time I couldn't live with that! Don't know why I put up with his nonsense for that many months. I was so relieved when it was done and I don't miss anything about him!! Ok I do miss going to the horseraces in the Spring. That was fun. I was good at picking the winners! At least with thoroughbreds!!
You got rid of someone who may have a gambling addiction!
I get it. Had similar situations. The off & on stuff is absolutely ridiculous. It's hurtful, even if they don't intend it. But when you see it as a pattern, we're letting them get away with it...over & I over until we finally say "I'm done too...!"
Come see the races in Hot Springs Arkansas!! The season starts in December and goes through May up to the Derby
He obviously wasn't a winner or thoroughbred!
The men of today are little b**** men never used to act like this they used to be social they used to be gentleman the men of today have no manners their pieces of s*** there honestly pieces of s*** and they're all like that now they need to be b** lap they need to sit at home by themselves they're a bunch of jerks
If you want a healthy real lifestyle-dont settle for bread crumbs or casual sex. Be Well-Live Well. Love your work J -Great Job
I do believe actions speak volumes.
No response is a response. And it’s passive aggressive.
Choose you first. Sometimes you just meet people to show the universe you value yourself.🤗
I think having the easy access to dating sites, chat rooms, etc. makes dating and relationships difficult. It's easy to dispose of one and go to the next one.
If a guy pulls' away or ghost you then get on with life . you dont' how time to be on standby for someone who is not sure what he wants ladies.
I agree too indeed but I also think this could help
I definitely agree with this information. I became emotionally involved with someone without asking the important questions sooner.It was quite painful when he pulled away. Looking back I think I wasn't ready to date when I thought I wss.My husband had been dead for almost two years..I needed more time than I realized to find me again. Wishing everyone success in finding love again, I believe it's worth it. 💕💕🙏
Okay so this was my actions towards my guy pulling away. We’ve been dating for a little over two months now and maybe about a week and a half he pulled away for 3 days. During those 3 days I was going through it! Emotional and wondering if he just yo and left me alone….watching RUclips videos like this one and watching tarot readings trying to understand why. I didn’t want to message him I was too scared of what he’d say or not say. So out of nowhere he messages me and I just was short with him just to let him know I felt a way …I knew something was wrong but just didn’t know exactly what it was…so I asked him what was wrong and he told me it’s a lot going on with him. I asked him if he wanted to talk about it , surprisingly he says yes and he tells me issues going on with work. Knowing that he work all the time I started to feel bad that I didn’t check on him during the 3 days. Fast forward into just recently he pulled away for im going to say 2 days , I just let him be. I didn’t feel angry about it I just let him be. I figured that was still getting to him amongst other things he’s not saying . Now, I’m starting to see the type of man he is and what would possibly be needed from me . I’ve decided if he does it again that I’ll give him active space , maybe just send a short message checking on him just to let him know I’m here to talk if he needs to. He is pretty closed off emotionally too so that’s another thing. He isn’t too mature with his emotions. That part does bother me and eventually I am hoping he learn to open up to me emotionally …I won’t wait forever but I am trying to work with him and understand him.
I’m in a new relationship in my late 40s, and this is the first time and first relationship where my behaviour is matching his lead in a strong, open, adult approach to communication in exactly this way. It feels different and is helping me heal some trauma wounds at same time. Thanks Jonathan, I like this approach of taking charge and matching his energy as a female and adult.
If that’s not going to change the outcome, why bother? Why be the one desperate enough to go seek rejection? If he’s done, he’s done. A text won’t make him change his mind, it will just give him an ego boost. Block him and get your own closure.
I very much appreciate the book recommendation eight dates. My new boyfriend and I are going through it together.
I find it to be a primer on how to do healthy relationship. In particular the skills for having intimate conversations is very, very helpful.
So many of us are raised in families with dysfunctional communication, and all we know is that we want to be different than what we grew up with, but very few of us have any idea of what different looks like.
The Gottmans do an excellent job teaching the basics.
The most important and helpful point for me, was the goal of conflict. Prior to the book I believed that the goal of conflict was to come to a solution that works for everybody. With the Gottmans' advice I now understand that the goal of conflict is actually to understand your partner at a deeper level than you did before the conflict. That one point has completely revolutionized my outlook and approach to conflict in a loving relationship.
Jonathan, I so admire your honesty, integrity, kindness and loving energy!!
There is definitely a very special woman out there who would so value, appreciate and embrace these very special qualities that define who you are as a very special person. Despite the fact that I am not in dating mode right now, I listen to your videos for personal development growth, and I want you to know how valuable they have been for me in terms of inner personal growth and self-awareness. I thank you Jonathan, with deep appreciation. 💚💚💚
He found already found her ♥️♥️
Thank you Jonathan,this is exactly what I needed.He has been silent for days....I'm going to send him this and see if we are still on the same page.It is harder when it's a long distance relationship.
He gets right to it at 12:45 🤍
Thank you
13:25
Thank you!
This is a constant pattern I’ve been seeing from the guys I meet on dating sites. I meet a guy for dinner and days later he will text me a photo of his home and car. Why do they do this? I’m not dating your house or your car dudes!!!
Everything you said is spot on! I was cheated on and betrayed in my last relationship and have decided to take a good time to get to know a person and see if we are compatible before i commit. That means deep questions in the dating process. Ive noticed a pattern and that is that when you ask deep question men ghost you and/or dont ask deep question back. Really weird if you ask me. I dont think they are used to women with standards and asking deep question before being physically.
And i love your cup! 🤩
You’re awesome. This video felt like a friend telling me “look, this is what you need to because I want you to be happy.” 🥰
Hi Jonathan. I loved what You had to say on this topic. Perfect words and very insightful! I remember dating this amazing guy. Five months in, 'He' slowly started to become distant. Typical I am busy, I have a lot going on...excuses etc. I did confront him and he did admit some issues he was working on. I told him if he was not ready for a relationship, I am a big girl, let's take a break so he could 'fix' his issues. He said no, he loves me, he wants to make it work. Distancing and no contact for weeks at a time started up again. I was done! I created my own closure and ended it.😉 please folks, invest and put in the work on yourselves first. Love yourself first before you commit and invest to love someone else...blessings!😘
Thank you for sharing this., I’m a widow and dating again... I m not in hurry and if having to be a date , ok...
Jonathan, I loved when you "What happens to a tree in hurricane wind without roots?", what a great verbal-visual. Also, just recently I can relate to the pulling back. I found myself doing the same in return. Not to draw him forward, yet it was to protect myself from disappointment. I know this to be a pattern that has been with him throughout his life. (I've known him for a number of years). I use to chase men. I'm not willing to do that anymore. I would much rather meet in the middle knowing there is a mutual interest on both of our parts: rather than have a one-sided relationship, no matter if it's with a partner or even with a dear friend.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your son. Thank you for this video. I know of this practice of moving on with your life. So many of my lady friends don’t know how to handle when their man pulls away.
awe... thanks so much.
Wow! Congratulations on your platform! It’s so refreshing to watch a new age non-30-year old who speaks today’s language! I’m loving it, thank you
Awe... thank you 😊
I like your fun way of explaining things and with enthusiasm. So sorry for the great loss of your son. Know that he is always with you. 💙🙏💙
Thank you so much!
What a great stories you have 🙌 Every woman, no matter race or background, will and can benefit from your advice. Loved the video 🥰
Really love watching your videos Jonathan. You approach relationship advice from a sensible, mature, sincere and caring place. Really like your attitude and the advice you offer. Thank you and a big hug 🤗
I so agree. I've dated for about a year, after getting over my husband passing. It's funny how many guys disappear if you ask questions even on the dating sites! I spent a lot of time getting to omits one guy, friends, family, everything. 6 months in, he's a drinker. Hid it all those months.
Sending you a big hug 🫂
You’ve been smart, sister. I’m proud of you. Protect yourself and keep doing what Jonathon says.
Kimberly. I am with you. I lost my husband 5 years ago, and now 16 months into my relationship, I have been doing so much of what Jonathon recommends. He is so right. Find out early what they are about, and intentions before getting too emotionally involved. Wishing you the best! 🤗
Yup Charlie sheen is the test model for Rehab #angermgt
Lots of love to you Kimberly! Keep doing your work and trust that there is a perfect partner out there and you deserve love in your life again. 💕🙏🏻
Thank you Jonathon. I am so glad I found you and your channel. I have been going through this for the longest time. I’m of sure why this keeps happening with these men. I mean I’m not perfect by no means but these guys and I’m 64 these guys have such baggage whether drugs alcohol cheating lies I mean what IS THIS? I am too old for this shit
EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT !! Thank you for another very well said video. You have the most keen insight I have ever seen.
I am growing thanks to you. I know I post comments under a lot of videos hahah :), but I am really so greatfull for everything you give away for free. Thank you again!!! The scrip is perfect. The only person I ever found who gives such great advise how to communicate with someone who pulls back.
Wonderful!
Radical Honesty is Refreshing to me… even if it isn’t easy to hear… I think difficult conversations are paramount to true connection & trust
Thank you for your video...everything that you have shared has really opened my eyes to my current situation...appreciate your wisdom!
Love the mug! 🤩 What a great response, thank you for especially helping us ladies past 40’s! I’ve seen the dating scene just get so ugly yet so many people want and need real connection… they want something whole but don’t know how to qualify a person. I’m learning myself to ask the right questions and get past my fears to say and ask important questions. Plus looking at behavior responses or non responses to see if they are telling the truth. Thanks always for your encouragement and navigating this path!
My pleasure...
He just wants to be friends.
But, now wants me to meet his friends. Go to races, etc. Etc. Want a to get to know me better?
Now ghosting me says he's
Too busy. Won't call, or text. We only hugged. Planned on being together. Doing things together.
I was happy till he was
Quiet.
Honesty from the get go?
Yeah Right!
All the games men play today is ludacris I give what they give no more no less I thought I could be loyal, helpful, dress nice, etc that is not the case they will choose the worst of the worst. So now I am the player.
Absolutly. 😊
I think also plenty of people SAY they want a healthy, evolved relationship, but not so many want to put in the work. Minimal effort and wanting a cookie (or THE cookie 🤣) or a trophy.
Always love your talks, Jonathon!❤️
awe... thank you.
Thanks for the virtual hug. I also gave myself a hug. Didn’t realize I needed that today. 🙂
You are so welcome
I agree that I meet with the stranger. I dont know his family and I dont know his friends. To know him in better way, then I must ask with deeper questions. When he goes silent, we do : Be proactive
Awesome Jonathan!! Thank you!
You are soooo good! I’m so glad I found you! And I’m a fan of the authors so I’m going to check out those books… thank a bunch!
Thank you I really needed to hear this today
This is great information, I'll be sure to check out these books as well,, thank you!
Finally, advice that makes sense! ❤
Happy to hear...
I feel I am listening to myself talk to myself, lol Your message resonates so much with me. You have no idea..lol
Thank you.
TY 🙏
Absolutely, having a conversation is being an adult. ...... so let's find out what's going on ? That's just an a mature courteous thing we all should do . Take charge definitely 😉. All My Best To You Jonathan, Marty Kozee M
Excellent info!
I thought your message was so impressive I’ve shared it with two girlfriends and hopefully they listen because you hit this one with a hammer and a nail!
🙏
Always great information and book recommendations. I’ve just finished What the Heck is Self Love Anyway. I plan on reading it again. I also bought 8 dates. I can’t wait to find a nice emotionally available man to read this book with.😊
Agree! Thanks again Jonathon!
👍👍👍
I think this is great advise, thank you!
Am I catching this live finally! After all this time :) Rea from London. Currently in Iran!!!
I appreciate your encouragement Jonathon for us to be in charge of our relationship destiny. By the way, your badass arms look great in that Salty shirt! Hope you keep wearing it. ❤😉❤
I appreciate that!
I appreciated your perspective and was hoping you'd address the issue of men who pull away before you've slept with them, just as the relationship is becoming more emotionally intimate.
Same
Your absolutely right Jonathan, I know now he doesn't want a commitment relationship and yes he did reach out once he ghost me for a couple days we talk and I understand he still in turmoil with his last relationship and why it ended the way it did, but I can't help him on that part, he will have to work that part his self and he always talking about his marriage 23 years ago and the relationship he had through the 23 years ,now he turning 60 he wants no more relationships of being commitment too!
Thank you for sharing...
@@JonathonAslay very welcome
Very informative video Jon - thank you., This is one that I am definitely saving.I think it's an emotionally mature conversation to have if he pulls aways and it lets the other person know where they stand rather than ruminating which a lot of us ladies do when we don't hear anything.It puts us in control.I enjoy your Sunday morning videos with your mellifluous voice- wonderful intonation and trying hard not to swear 🤣🤣.The seagulls squawking in the background, also adds to the ambience.You're such a kind person Jon and so caring and you do seem like that big brother.😇
Awe... thank you so much 💓
yes on ruminating, unfortunately no matter what tactics I use it comes around. uggh!
love the t-shirt!
Great video!! 👌👏❤ got my 8 dates book already!
You present a great perspective.
Thank you 🙏
Ordering your book!
awe... thank you
I have just stumbled across you & watching you is like listening to my dad who is a badass dad 🤘🏻😎
Thanks 🙏
Thank you!! Even though our relationship is over, you really confirmed for me that he wasn't the right guy. He was more of a nightmare!. Lol.
Hi Johnathan! Ive been watching your vídeos now for a while. I am not even close to start dating, but I do realize that understanding the dating world better before I jump in to the ocean, would be benefitial. I find your vídeos to be very mature, informacional and most of all, empowering.
I am so very greatful for the effort and the honesty you put in all of your vídeos. Its tremendously helpful, especially for people who might not be able to afford more personal dating coaching.
So much of what you say resonantes so well. This vídeo just made realize... If I cant trust a stranger with muy personal información, bank account access and home key. Why would I think its ok to allow full access to my body? All the other stuff is replacable, but not my heart or my body (thus there might be dangers as a woman to be physically hurt). It just just made so much sense. Thank you for that. 😊
Love this one! Not surprising though because all your videos are Badass;) I am so empowered by the way you lay all of this out. All of the books are wonderful especially yours! What the heck is …Self Love Anyway? Thank you 😊
WOW! Thank you
Love it 😊
I'm afraid that my neurodivergence, makes me unlovable and too different to be understood. I want to master how to accept myself on the spectrum perspective to be loved, and how to overcome feelings of inadequacy because of it. I know I'm not societal standard, normal. However, I don't want a perfect relationship, I want a long lasting and healthy one that I feel good showing up for. And I'm kind of afraid to open up to potential prospects, because of how judgemental and ignorant people can truly be.
I let a guy into my life and we were intimate. He then had an ED issue. He blamed me and said he needed a younger woman. Told me he wanted my 40 year old daughter. I am 68. I don't think l will be with any man again for a long time.
Brenda,that's awful and I am sorry to hear this.His behaviour is disgusting! Don't let that put you off meeting a decent man who is worthy of all you have to offer.There are decent men out there who will take responsibility for their emotional and physical health and not blame others.He's done you a favour as it'll make way for you meeting someone decent in the future 😊
Thanks for sharing...
What a loser…….
That guy is deluded...and very unkind.
Bullet dodged.
Brenda, you need to yell from the rooftop "Good Riddance!" YOU are too valuable a person to waste your precious time with a "creature" like that. There are quality man out there who will recognize your special qualities and value you. Please don't allow such a despicable person like that to stop you from finding a deserving quality man who is out there waiting for
you!! You might want to consider a widower, someone who loved his wife with all his heart and wants it again with another very special woman. I talk from personal experience.💚🙏
what to say when a guy goes silent after a couple weeks of dating? anything at all or just move on?
Hi- you didn’t address the early stage guys that pull away and your recommended response. Do you have another video for that ? Thank you so much !!!!
I just read that chapter. Reading your book felt like I was having a conversation and a cup of coffee in my living room with you.
WOW! Thank you.
The center of you life must be your higher power, if he puts someone aside, that is for your good.
i love your animation!😂 i really do lol!
awe... thank you. smiling
Empowered! I'm empowered!
You said it blast off with scary stuff you'll be glad you did.
I appreciate all of your videos on here. They are very informative. There are also men out here that "talk" to other women online. That makes them pull away from you too. (In my case) I just need to come to terms with it all. I feel a void right now, and hollow. But in time I'll get back on level ground & think clearly again. We have so much in common & we laughed at everything, from movies to fishing together. We did have a bunch of different activities that we did together as well.. But I know when I'm beating a dead horse so to speak. I just have to find myself again. At least I'll be saving wear & tear on my vehicle too. No more trips up to Michigan for me. (579 miles one way) 😏🙄😔💔 I feel stupid for traveling up there as much as I did. I lost a year & a half before it all came crashing down. Although he of course blames me for having an "attitude" & says when I'm happy again we'll resume back to normal. Umm idk about that. And he still insists that I'm his best friend. 🙄🥺
I had a badass reaction, I texted him, "this is bullshit"!...and blocked him....😂
👍
It's so funny when you say "nine times out of ten... and by the way I'm makeing up these numbers' xD I like listening to you :)
😁
In the words of psychologist Tracy Cabot to a woman who called into a talk show about such a problem: "if this guy's ambivalence is not enough to make you walk,then you are getting what you deserve"
I am sure this applies to men getting the lukewarm treatment too. It is only when one sees and owns their part that this can make gut-level sense.
Notices 💪 in thumbnail. Nice. 😁
Thank you! I'm experiencing this exact thing, and wasnt quite sure how or if to reach out.
Glad it helped!
@@JonathonAslay omg it did! I sent the text you suggested and he called me. We had a great conversation and im feeling so much better. He shared his feelings and I shared mine. You were spot on.
Jonathan I just bought 10 of the books on your list to read
Hi Jonathan, funny you say this. This guy was pulling away and I asked him if he was okay. He apologised profusely and invited me to dinner the next day only to tell me on the morning of the said dinner that he is not interested in me!!!
And the height was when he said he was still happy to cook for me !!!
I said thanks but no thanks. Someone who flips from yes to no in a span of 10 hrs is hardly worth wasting time on. What do you think?
Please know, the Universe did you a favor
The Universe blessed you...
He didn't want a relationship but he was happy to cook you a meal at His Home. He's fine having sex with you is What I hear! Isn't that Why men invite you to their home? For sex?
@@annconforti9294 That’s what I hear too!
You’re free of him, which is a good thing. Now, don’t look back. He’s made it clear to you that friends-with-benefits is his maximum commitment level. Bye.
Join My VIP Group for $7-- jonathonaslay.com/midlifelove
Thank you. Dated a guy for 3 months. Talked 3 or 4 times a day. I started getting sick. Same time he said he got Covid but was fine. He disappeared within a week. Wouldn't leave me alone all that time. No sex. Fell hard He had no kids and I do. So I don't know.
Thank you ! I've been struggling with How to address this. I'm hoping I get enough courage to send that text message today! Thanks Jonathan
You are so welcome
Good vid
I don't like when a guy won't tell me where he works. When he starts acting secretive, I know he has something important to hide. So I don't bother to invest in him. Stranger Danger, LOL
Thank you 😊
TY 🙏
Thank youuu Jonathan , super empowering messages, love it. I decide for my life i take charge charge of what i allow, and if it meant to say good bye, i want to say good bye quickly so i can say hello to someone who wants to stay😁
You are so welcome
I told my man this morning that I did not climax because he did not try hard enough.
He is young so probably not.
I gave my kitty a huge hug.
🤗🤗🤗
I'm not what you've been through. Call me when you feel like being a grown-up for the day; the weekend; or however long... so we can have a nice time. When you start feeling fearful... talk to you later until you pull it together again.
Jonathan.. This is awesome advice! Thank you. I have a question... When you were about to explain how to respond to this, first you said there is a difference between if the relationship is in the early dating stages vs deeper involvement. You said you would explain what to do with the early stages at the end of the video. Did I miss it? What should we do if a guy pulls away or is unsure after like 3 dates?
Scroll through my videos, I've addressed this many of times...
I'm going through this right now with someone and I'm too hurt to even talk to them about it, I have to get over my hurt and then I can talk...
You will be okay ,give it some time
I feel like men in their 50's want women in their 30's. Perhaps I should be looking for a 70 year old...😂...I love your channel so very much Jon ❤ my condolences for the loss of your precious son Connor. 🙏 Have a beautiful Sunday. 🏖 From the Salty Myrtle Beach! 🥰
🙏
Hug Your Day! Each and every one.
It is a great opportunity for a woman to go silent too and really invest in herself 👍♥️
God sent me to you. My boyfriend is pushing me away because his son passed away in Sept. and I seem not to know what to do to comfort and support him. He keeps saying “ you just don’t understand me” I don’t know what to do. Do you have private sessions? You are the ONLY guide that mention they lost his son so I can finally relate with someone. Please help
Aw, you are the only dating coach I watch every video of. You are realistic, not living in a Fantasyland.
Here's Johnny 😊
🤗
Anyone can pull away from anyone. There are more fish in the sea.
The number 1 way that women give their power away is having sex before marriage. The dating period will be less than 2 years if you wait (if marriage is your goal). My friends, my cousin, etc- many are on 2nd marriages in mid-life & waited & were married in less than 2 years.
So if I follow your rules , I should never have sex because honestly I’m not looking for marriage again 😂😂😂🤪
Jonathon, the volume needs to be raised. Have a great weekend! 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
Working on it!