Story 1: NTA and in most states once the child is old enough they get a say in who they want to stay with. Add on the therapy, I'd be surprised if OP's daughter actually get custody with how absent and emotionally unavailable she's been to her daughter.
@velvety2006 In that cade Emma won't have to be with her egg donor as it'll take song long for the courts to process this Emma will likely be 18 or close enough that it'll be pointless and thrown out.
@@BigBadWolfParty also if there are therapists involved the judge might wanna hear their opinion as well especially if the mom is the reason for therapy in the first place
#1 l bet a few weeks with an emotionally and maybe physically hostile 16 year old teen will change the mothers mind. If the daughter gives the silent treatment, except for slamming doors, shouting NO, " accidentally " breaking things, playing loud music, and refusing to go to the new school. Family therapy, sitting and telling the therapist, " this deadbeat woman isn't a real mum!" Will have the problem solved. Even well-behaved teens can be a handful , one running a terror campaign a total nightmare with bells on!
Mom automatically has rights and the advantage since OP never got any legal custody or paperwork to back her up. She does have the fact Emma is 16 and on her side working for her. Sarah needs to realize that any future relationship she wants will depend on what she does now. Trying to force a mother%daughter relationship after all these years is going to backfire big time.
Emma is at an age where a court/guardian et litem would listen to what she want. Sarah left the raising of Emma to OP and Sarah shouldn’t be surprised why. Emma is an object not a person. OP needs to seek legal advice and protect Emma. If the daughter is an adult and wants to live her life, then she can do so by supporting herself. Dad isn’t required to give her a car, allowance and paying tuition. That is a privilege with a requirement. One goes with the other. She doesn’t want to go to school then she can support herself.
have a talk with Emma first of course, tell her "let's try and see what happens, I'll always be your mom and my house is always here but the other part can't understand. She's a AH and now we teach her"
I'm guessing mom wants an accessory more than a daughter. This is not Build-a-Bear, child edition. Curious to see if she has a college fund for her or anything else beyond basking in mom's girl boss glory.
S1). Yeah, no, Sarah's a part time mom. And a deadbeat. Sarah WAS NOT THERE for Emma's formative years. I would honestly contact a lawyer by this point because Emma doesn't have a bond with Sarah. At all. She isn't a mom. Take. Her. To. Court. Get back child support, and put your foot down. Most judges would actually heavily disapprove of Sarah's actions. There is also no bond between Sarah and Emma, which both Emma and the therapist can confirm. Emma has also expressed that while she is aware Sarah is her biological mother, she doesnt and will not see her as a mom. Sarah is mad because she wants to have a friend, not a daughter. Poor Emma, my heart breaks for her. Her mom doesn't want her, and now that the "hard bits" are over, Sarah wants to take the credit she didn't earn.
Story 1: NTA, but OP is a complete doormat for just letting her spoiled daughter completely fob off the responsibility of raising her kid unto her own mother.
"time to take her back" girl is 16 you have no time left "undermining her parenting"? she did no parenting "turning her daughter against her"? she was never her daughter for 16 years she thinks she can push the parenting on someone else until the kid doesn't need it anymore then swoop in and claim the kid to play perfect house the courts would laugh her out if she tried to get custody at this point
In 2 more years Emma will legally be an adult; she will then leave dear mommy and go back to OP ... then mommy will wonder "why doesnt Emma want to stay with me or love me?"
Lol at the yta on story 3, what a reach. This is a learning moment for ops daughter. It'll do her good to learn that actions have consequences, and that she will need to fund her own playtime.
Sarah: I want my kid back because I love and miss her! Oh, and I'm going to ship her off to boarding school as soon as I can." College: The "Eat Pray Love" comment was pure gold!
Story 3: NTA. Lawl, the jealousy is palpable because of the allowance. Ngl, I'm kinda jealous, too, a 3k a month allowance is pretty sweet and daughter is very lucky to have it, but OP is definitely not the AH for the issue at hand, which is cutting his daughter off for dropping out of college since he doesn't want to fund her "find myself" trip. If she still wants to go, she foots the bill herself.
ESH. Her for trying to pull the "I'm an adult" card while living on OP's money. OP is on the list because he helped to create this spoiled brat. $3k a month tax free and OP is covering her car note, insurance, school and living expenses. This is definitely 1 of the times a parent has to lay down the law of my money, my rules or get a job.
Sounds sweet, but try actually living on $3k a month in a MHCOL area. My pension is that pre-tax, and it took me decades of budgeting with twice/thrice a month paychecks to make a seamless transition to a monthly paycheck. Oh and now I'm supporting two instead of a family on that pension.
No one needs to go to court. Just tell Emma that, at 16, she cannot be forced to live where she doesn’t wish to as long as she simply gets up and leaves. Not obeying her parent will also work as Emma is 16 and old enough to make her own mind up.
@ I am not talking about legal requirements. At 16, she can get up and leave, return to her preferred carers (without violence or argument) and keep doing it at every opportunity. The parent will give up eventually and so will the state and it will cost no money. If the parent attempts to physically restrain or punish, that is child abuse which she can and should report. At every opportunity make life unbearable for her parent and it will quickly become unsustainable for the parent too. It is like civil disobedience but in the family. If she gets taken before a judge etc, she should simply state she will continue for as long as she is forced to be controlled by a parent that had abandoned her and keep saying it.
Wow, I need a dad like that! The problem is that the daughter never had any responsibility or consequences. The divorce only makes it worse. Daughter needs to get the idea that "adulting" is more than asking daddy for a blank check for whatever hair-brained idea comes into her head.
That's twice my fucking paycheck every month 😂😂😂😂 lmao at OP "I think I've raised her to be a responsible adult!" Naaaah bro 3k allowance, new car like that, only thing you're ever gonna raise is a spoiled brat 😂😂😂 They both faced the consequences of their own actions it seems 😂😂
Op raised Sarah so needs to take some responsibility for Sarah’s attitude and actions over the year. Emma is old enough to have a say where she lives, so support her
This guy thinks that giving his college age daughter $39,000 a year along with a car which I’m sure he was paying the insurance maintenance and fuel cost for was setting his daughter up for success. No dude it’s setting her up to be a spoiled and entitled brat! Not the asshole, but it seems to me the damage is already done, good luck OP he’s going to need it
Man, no extended family on either side for her to go to? The couple are nuts, for sure. Lady, you can't gift a guy a child and just have him pretend it's his.
Step-dad/Not dad story - Let's say OP didn't lie. What's the plan moving forward? Try and force her to participate in something she clearly hates? OP's mom lied to her husband to get him to marry her.
What is with families that try to force stepfamily dynamics on their child? Seriously, just because the parent is happy, does not mean the child has to be happy. Step Families take time to develop, not forced. Otherwise, the more you push, the more, it will drive someone away.
I keep saying "Step" stands for: Second Temporary Extra Part and Partial Don't ever expect to be fully accepted, acknowledged, or respected. You chose to get involved with someone else's family
To the idiot that gave his daughter a 3k allowance Its your fault she became entitled and spoiled I bet she never had to work for anything in her life, got always given everything so OP can't expect her to behave as an adult when sge believes that money grows om trees
1. That ESH was way off base. Saying op is TA for taking care of her grandchild and not pushing for making her relationship with her daughter worse. 2. NTA, and that last commenter is pretty naive. 3. NTA, and of course there’s a commenter saying YTA for an unrelated issues. 4. NTA
Emma is at an age where a court/guardian et litem would listen to what she want. Sarah left the raising of Emma to OP and Sarah shouldn’t be surprised why. Emma is an object not a person. OP needs to seek legal advice and protect Emma. OP needs to speak to a guidance counselor or teacher at school about the emotional abuse the mom and stepdad are doing and that the counselor is not in control of the sessions. If OP feels in danger then speak up to mom, that needs to be communicated. School employees are mandated reporters.
For the always late housewife story, I'm gonna say she's probably cheating and she'll make the excuses that she is "lonely" because op is always traveling for work. 🤔
Story 1: Op lets get something straight: your daughter is NOT that child’s mother. She’s the egg donor, YOU are her mother. NTA your daughter doesn’t get to swoop in and try being the “fun parent” now that you’ve done all the heavy lifting of raising her. Screw her and ANYONE siding with her
story 1: try get custody of emma, if that lazy deadbeat wins however and goes through with all that i guarantee emma will go full no contact with her once she's 18 but this all depends on how court goes as emma is more than old enough that any GOOD judge will talk to emma and take her wants in to account first and decide based on that
Let Emma decide if she wants to see her egg donor . I would tell her back child support is over due , she not a mum just because she gave birth . Sarah will dump her as soon as novelty wears off let Emma know you are there for her
Story 2: NTA. Oh god this made me laugh, though. It is very annoying to have your spouse continually waste your time by being late and then get mad about it, but there's probably an easy solution to all this. Wife is obviously insecure about income and keeps thinking about it. She needs to do something to take her mind off of it. And also probably break everything down and show her the hard numbers, including what's leftover for spending/fun money. I won't suggest her getting a job unless it's something where she can choose her own hours, cuz her chronic lateness will end any other regular job for her real quick. She won't get past training with that.
Story 1 - I feel for OP and Emma, but hiring a lawyer to fight a battle isn't realistic at this point. It's going to turn messy, expensive, and it will drag out. Emma is already 16, unless OP seriously wants to go for backed child support and has a strong case, the best thing to do is just ride out the last two years. If Sarah tries to make good on her word, guarantee Emma will turn into a living nightmare that Sarah can't wait to be rid of.
$3,000 a month?!? WTF? You're an AH for raising such a spoiled, entitled Princess. Your daughter is the kind of girl who fights the cops that pull her over for DUI, all while thinking how "Daddy" will rescue her. You didn't parent your child, you enabled her to think that money is free and she deserves anything she wants and that she's better than everyone else.
Story 1- WOW nice of your daughter to wait over 10 years to announce she can now handle being a FULL TIME MOM! Did she give you any money for support or was that also all your responsibility?
wdym full time mom. She plans shipping her off to a (possible) Boarding School. Or much more likely - EggDonor is pregnant again and looks for another carer.
You mean to say that therapists have every reason to not make their clients better so that they keep paying for sessions ad infinitum? I'm so socked! In all seriousness, this is one of the mains reasons why therapy is so often less than useless.
Where I live airport charges are ridiculous (like £5 for drop off and £30 for an hour) so I don't leave the house till I get we've landed texts. But I only live a 15min drive from the airport so it's less of a big deal!
How is looking after Emma for two years actually raising her? if op raised her right she is already fully sufficient in caring for herself. maybe mom should worry sarah is pregnant again and wants Emma around to do the care work.
Story about the college kid. That parent is a big fat ah! $3,000/month allowance. I went to college, was lucky to get one cent a semester from my parents. Had a WONDERFUL college experience. If anyone gave me $3.000/month, I'd party too. They ruined that kid from birth most likely.
Call me mean, this is the problem with “young” parents. They see kids as a novelty and the onus on raising the kids always falls on the grandparents under the guise of “help”. This was always what her daughter intended, wanted the baby for the novelty but wanted to do none of the work.
S3: Of course she's partying and not concentrating on college. Of course she's taking expensive trips. She has no concept of money and where it comes from. She doesn't think she needs to because daddy is a bottomless money pit. OP says he's "setting her up for life" when he's actually doing the opposite. Don't create a monster and then complain about the damage it causes. It's like an orphan killing both it's parents and then complaining about the quality of the food in the orphanage.
Allowance story - oh those college years, where my parents paid for college and gave me such a nice allowance, NOT! I worked since 11-12 yo., doing all sorts of jobs to save up for college and to pay for what I needed. I was #5 of 7 kids, all of us went to college. All of us paid for college. I think my parents’ contribution was perfect. I lived at home when I went to community college for my essentials and lived at home for one year after my transfer to the state university. I still worked part-time during the school year as well as 2 jobs during the summer to pay for the next year of school. Spoiled kids handed everything never grow up. Parents need to stop coddling. Helping your kids, who are not able to earn enough for college is one thing but giving them money to burn so they can skip school and be lazy, useless crybabies is another. Congrats in raising another useless member of society.
"Undermining her parenting", what parenting? This woman is a clown 😂 Edit: forgot to say that OP is an idiot for subsidizing her daughter being a deadbeat
Story 1: I think there is probably something more going on with this BUT this is why you should probably go through the courts and have real visitation schedules.
Story 1, op is at fault for raising that daughter to be the deadbeat she is. She wanted to keep the baby bcuz "abortion is bad"; then she shoulda been forced to raise her. Otherwise, op shoulda went to court and got custody bcuz she failed as a parent to get daughter.
1-NTA Sara knows nothing about her daughter and sending a 16yo to an exclusive private girls school is going to be really bad. You may have to lawyer up to protect Emma. 2-NTA If your wife doesn't begin to get with the"program" it's time to look for a lawyer. 3-NTA You haven't been setting her up for life, you've been spoiling her and you created an entitled beotch. 4-NTA You need protection, call CPS!
The Grandmom never got custody. The birth-mother was always somewhat around. It's a loosing battle Grandmom, just give it up. The birth-mom is going to win this one, so gove it up.
Story 1- sounds like the grandma poisoned the relationship between the mother and her child. It just sounds too sus. Sounds like mom worked her ass off to be able to afford to be a good mom and now grandma is undermining it. I would like to hear mom’s side of things.
Poor Emma. Op should have drawn boundaries day one. Your daughter used you and set a terrible example for a mother. Shame on all of you for this drama involving a 16 year old. Do better.
Story 1: OP over-reached her grandmother role. At some point she forgot that Emma wasn’t her child, making it impossible for Emma’s actual mother to slide back in as a parent. The other side of this story probably reeks of OP’s sabotage and passive aggressive efforts to limit her daughter’s role as a mother, with OP establishing rules about when and where her daughter could see Emma. If OP had always wanted to reunite Emma with her mother, why wasn’t she happy that the two were going to be reunited? Why did OP need to “talk” to her daughter alone rather than congratulating her? OP’s characterization of her daughter as a heartless career woman is belied by the crazy, f’ed up shifts she had to take for years. Those shifts are at the bottom of the career barrel - the unwanted shifts that trickle down to the powerless employees unable to say “no”. After over a decade OP’s “career-driven” daughter finally gets a day job which is apparently so high paying that she can’t afford to buy a house until Emma is a junior in high school. Sigh.
@ - WTF? Grandparents have historically (and more recently: think JD Vance) helped raise their grandkids when their kids weren’t able to parent because of their youth, lack of a partner, lack of money, health issues, etc. But apparently you and OP think Emma’s mom should have gone on welfare so the rest of us should be picking up the cost. The problem here was that OP was blocking the parent/child reunification because she had bonded more with her grandchild than her daughter.
Yeah, even if he wants me to go to school, then I'm game as long as he's paying. Heck, even if he isn't paying. I'll just spend some of that 3,000 a month on that!
Story 1 reminds me of when my bio dad showed back up and told my adoptive dad, “Thanks for raising her. I’ll take over now.” I was 30.
😂😂😂
Wow, that must have been such a shock! Stories like this really show the audacity some people have
Story 1: NTA and in most states once the child is old enough they get a say in who they want to stay with. Add on the therapy, I'd be surprised if OP's daughter actually get custody with how absent and emotionally unavailable she's been to her daughter.
'parental rights are strong' emma is 16 not six, I am pretty sure a judge will wanna hear what she wants to do
@velvety2006 In that cade Emma won't have to be with her egg donor as it'll take song long for the courts to process this Emma will likely be 18 or close enough that it'll be pointless and thrown out.
@@BigBadWolfParty also if there are therapists involved the judge might wanna hear their opinion as well especially if the mom is the reason for therapy in the first place
@@velvety2006Depends on the state
#1 l bet a few weeks with an emotionally and maybe physically hostile 16 year old teen will change the mothers mind. If the daughter gives the silent treatment, except for slamming doors, shouting NO, " accidentally " breaking things, playing loud music, and refusing to go to the new school. Family therapy, sitting and telling the therapist, " this deadbeat woman isn't a real mum!" Will have the problem solved. Even well-behaved teens can be a handful , one running a terror campaign a total nightmare with bells on!
Story 1: Go to court. Get custody.
Mom automatically has rights and the advantage since OP never got any legal custody or paperwork to back her up. She does have the fact Emma is 16 and on her side working for her. Sarah needs to realize that any future relationship she wants will depend on what she does now. Trying to force a mother%daughter relationship after all these years is going to backfire big time.
@@MrJpaynebbthe kid is 16. The court will let her say what she wants. What will end up happening is bio mom will have to pay child support
This
Absolutely. Going to court is the best way to protect the child and ensure her well-being
Emma is at an age where a court/guardian et litem would listen to what she want. Sarah left the raising of Emma to OP and Sarah shouldn’t be surprised why. Emma is an object not a person. OP needs to seek legal advice and protect Emma.
If the daughter is an adult and wants to live her life, then she can do so by supporting herself. Dad isn’t required to give her a car, allowance and paying tuition. That is a privilege with a requirement. One goes with the other. She doesn’t want to go to school then she can support herself.
Depends on the state
let her take Emma....Emma will be back in a month cuz "she can't understand WHY her daughter doesn't like her she's soooooo nice to her"
have a talk with Emma first of course, tell her "let's try and see what happens, I'll always be your mom and my house is always here but the other part can't understand. She's a AH and now we teach her"
I'm guessing mom wants an accessory more than a daughter. This is not Build-a-Bear, child edition. Curious to see if she has a college fund for her or anything else beyond basking in mom's girl boss glory.
S1). Yeah, no, Sarah's a part time mom. And a deadbeat. Sarah WAS NOT THERE for Emma's formative years. I would honestly contact a lawyer by this point because Emma doesn't have a bond with Sarah. At all. She isn't a mom. Take. Her. To. Court. Get back child support, and put your foot down.
Most judges would actually heavily disapprove of Sarah's actions. There is also no bond between Sarah and Emma, which both Emma and the therapist can confirm. Emma has also expressed that while she is aware Sarah is her biological mother, she doesnt and will not see her as a mom. Sarah is mad because she wants to have a friend, not a daughter.
Poor Emma, my heart breaks for her. Her mom doesn't want her, and now that the "hard bits" are over, Sarah wants to take the credit she didn't earn.
Story 1: NTA, but OP is a complete doormat for just letting her spoiled daughter completely fob off the responsibility of raising her kid unto her own mother.
"time to take her back" girl is 16 you have no time left "undermining her parenting"? she did no parenting "turning her daughter against her"? she was never her daughter for 16 years
she thinks she can push the parenting on someone else until the kid doesn't need it anymore then swoop in and claim the kid to play perfect house the courts would laugh her out if she tried to get custody at this point
In 2 more years Emma will legally be an adult; she will then leave dear mommy and go back to OP ... then mommy will wonder "why doesnt Emma want to stay with me or love me?"
Lol at the yta on story 3, what a reach. This is a learning moment for ops daughter. It'll do her good to learn that actions have consequences, and that she will need to fund her own playtime.
Sarah: I want my kid back because I love and miss her! Oh, and I'm going to ship her off to boarding school as soon as I can."
College: The "Eat Pray Love" comment was pure gold!
Story 3: NTA. Lawl, the jealousy is palpable because of the allowance. Ngl, I'm kinda jealous, too, a 3k a month allowance is pretty sweet and daughter is very lucky to have it, but OP is definitely not the AH for the issue at hand, which is cutting his daughter off for dropping out of college since he doesn't want to fund her "find myself" trip. If she still wants to go, she foots the bill herself.
thats more than i make month as a working full time! yea...i'm an adult and can do what you want...ok get a job then like an adult
ESH. Her for trying to pull the "I'm an adult" card while living on OP's money. OP is on the list because he helped to create this spoiled brat. $3k a month tax free and OP is covering her car note, insurance, school and living expenses. This is definitely 1 of the times a parent has to lay down the law of my money, my rules or get a job.
Sounds sweet, but try actually living on $3k a month in a MHCOL area. My pension is that pre-tax, and it took me decades of budgeting with twice/thrice a month paychecks to make a seamless transition to a monthly paycheck. Oh and now I'm supporting two instead of a family on that pension.
No one needs to go to court. Just tell Emma that, at 16, she cannot be forced to live where she doesn’t wish to as long as she simply gets up and leaves. Not obeying her parent will also work as Emma is 16 and old enough to make her own mind up.
Depends on the state
@ I am not talking about legal requirements. At 16, she can get up and leave, return to her preferred carers (without violence or argument) and keep doing it at every opportunity. The parent will give up eventually and so will the state and it will cost no money. If the parent attempts to physically restrain or punish, that is child abuse which she can and should report. At every opportunity make life unbearable for her parent and it will quickly become unsustainable for the parent too. It is like civil disobedience but in the family. If she gets taken before a judge etc, she should simply state she will continue for as long as she is forced to be controlled by a parent that had abandoned her and keep saying it.
Just give Emma a lighter, she's 16
3000 dollar allowance? Wow.
Wow, I need a dad like that! The problem is that the daughter never had any responsibility or consequences. The divorce only makes it worse. Daughter needs to get the idea that "adulting" is more than asking daddy for a blank check for whatever hair-brained idea comes into her head.
That's twice my fucking paycheck every month 😂😂😂😂 lmao at OP "I think I've raised her to be a responsible adult!" Naaaah bro 3k allowance, new car like that, only thing you're ever gonna raise is a spoiled brat 😂😂😂 They both faced the consequences of their own actions it seems 😂😂
Where can I sign up for that? 😂
Op sound like a Disney dad with a bedwatmer problem😂😂...go girl, milk the waste of air 😊
Op raised Sarah so needs to take some responsibility for Sarah’s attitude and actions over the year. Emma is old enough to have a say where she lives, so support her
6:04 OP DOES have a case. Physical custody holds weight in the courts.
This guy thinks that giving his college age daughter $39,000 a year along with a car which I’m sure he was paying the insurance maintenance and fuel cost for was setting his daughter up for success. No dude it’s setting her up to be a spoiled and entitled brat! Not the asshole, but it seems to me the damage is already done, good luck OP he’s going to need it
Grandma needs to file for bac childsupport for her granddaughter. OPs daughter is a deadbeat.
Last story: those 2 narcissists are 100% going to re-write history if OP goes no contact with them
Man, no extended family on either side for her to go to? The couple are nuts, for sure. Lady, you can't gift a guy a child and just have him pretend it's his.
Step-dad/Not dad story - Let's say OP didn't lie. What's the plan moving forward? Try and force her to participate in something she clearly hates? OP's mom lied to her husband to get him to marry her.
What is with families that try to force stepfamily dynamics on their child? Seriously, just because the parent is happy, does not mean the child has to be happy. Step Families take time to develop, not forced. Otherwise, the more you push, the more, it will drive someone away.
I keep saying "Step" stands for:
Second
Temporary
Extra
Part and Partial
Don't ever expect to be fully accepted, acknowledged, or respected. You chose to get involved with someone else's family
To the idiot that gave his daughter a 3k allowance
Its your fault she became entitled and spoiled
I bet she never had to work for anything in her life, got always given everything so OP can't expect her to behave as an adult when sge believes that money grows om trees
Story 1: NTA. Op should’ve cussed her out and asked her in front of everyone all the basic questions about Emma
Oh to be a fly on the wall in THAT room
3k for an allowance?!! Can I also be your kid OP?
When you are running late, answer your GD phone!!!!!!!!!
1. That ESH was way off base. Saying op is TA for taking care of her grandchild and not pushing for making her relationship with her daughter worse.
2. NTA, and that last commenter is pretty naive.
3. NTA, and of course there’s a commenter saying YTA for an unrelated issues.
4. NTA
Story 3: NTA but you spoiled her.
3rd story... NTA for taking the allowance. For the car, it depends in whose name it is. In op's? Then NTA as well.
Emma is at an age where a court/guardian et litem would listen to what she want. Sarah left the raising of Emma to OP and Sarah shouldn’t be surprised why. Emma is an object not a person. OP needs to seek legal advice and protect Emma.
OP needs to speak to a guidance counselor or teacher at school about the emotional abuse the mom and stepdad are doing and that the counselor is not in control of the sessions. If OP feels in danger then speak up to mom, that needs to be communicated. School employees are mandated reporters.
Sarah is pregnant again and she needs emma to be the caretaker.
Really? Is that a real update? I wouldn’t be surprised.
It baffles me how people get so angry when you won't play along with their delusions. There used to be institutions for people like that.
There aren't as many institutions anymore. And the ones that are still open are full.
For the always late housewife story, I'm gonna say she's probably cheating and she'll make the excuses that she is "lonely" because op is always traveling for work. 🤔
Story 1: Op lets get something straight: your daughter is NOT that child’s mother. She’s the egg donor, YOU are her mother. NTA your daughter doesn’t get to swoop in and try being the “fun parent” now that you’ve done all the heavy lifting of raising her.
Screw her and ANYONE siding with her
story 1: try get custody of emma, if that lazy deadbeat wins however and goes through with all that i guarantee emma will go full no contact with her once she's 18 but this all depends on how court goes as emma is more than old enough that any GOOD judge will talk to emma and take her wants in to account first and decide based on that
'I need to go find myself' you need to go find yourself a job.
Let Emma decide if she wants to see her egg donor . I would tell her back child support is over due , she not a mum just because she gave birth . Sarah will dump her as soon as novelty wears off let Emma know you are there for her
I can't imagine leaving my child to anyone for anything. Such a bad "mom"...
Story 2: NTA. Oh god this made me laugh, though. It is very annoying to have your spouse continually waste your time by being late and then get mad about it, but there's probably an easy solution to all this. Wife is obviously insecure about income and keeps thinking about it. She needs to do something to take her mind off of it. And also probably break everything down and show her the hard numbers, including what's leftover for spending/fun money. I won't suggest her getting a job unless it's something where she can choose her own hours, cuz her chronic lateness will end any other regular job for her real quick. She won't get past training with that.
She already has a job.
@@madlie2452 Since when? Did you find the original post and there's an edit? Text on this vid literally says, "My wife is currently unemployed [...]"
Late wife- ops wife is annoying af and the fact that she has the audacity to be mad? Lol
Story 1 - I feel for OP and Emma, but hiring a lawyer to fight a battle isn't realistic at this point. It's going to turn messy, expensive, and it will drag out. Emma is already 16, unless OP seriously wants to go for backed child support and has a strong case, the best thing to do is just ride out the last two years. If Sarah tries to make good on her word, guarantee Emma will turn into a living nightmare that Sarah can't wait to be rid of.
Story 1 should have taken her to court for custody. Story 3 is he looking for new daughter???😂
Story #3: $3000.00 a month!! Adopt me!! But seriously! Let her mom fund her antics!!
$3,000 a month?!? WTF? You're an AH for raising such a spoiled, entitled Princess. Your daughter is the kind of girl who fights the cops that pull her over for DUI, all while thinking how "Daddy" will rescue her. You didn't parent your child, you enabled her to think that money is free and she deserves anything she wants and that she's better than everyone else.
Op sounds like disney dad at best
Story 1- WOW nice of your daughter to wait over 10 years to announce she can now handle being a FULL TIME MOM! Did she give you any money for support or was that also all your responsibility?
wdym full time mom. She plans shipping her off to a (possible) Boarding School.
Or much more likely - EggDonor is pregnant again and looks for another carer.
1: shoulda called her a deadbeat in front of everyone!!
You mean to say that therapists have every reason to not make their clients better so that they keep paying for sessions ad infinitum? I'm so socked! In all seriousness, this is one of the mains reasons why therapy is so often less than useless.
That why I hate kids having kids. Grandparents always wind up being the parent.
Sounds like it's time to make this legal. Also, grandma can go after her for back child support depending on where they live
Where I live airport charges are ridiculous (like £5 for drop off and £30 for an hour) so I don't leave the house till I get we've landed texts. But I only live a 15min drive from the airport so it's less of a big deal!
Story 1: NTA and op isn’t at fault in the slightest . However the daughter is ridiculous
How is looking after Emma for two years actually raising her? if op raised her right she is already fully sufficient in caring for herself. maybe mom should worry sarah is pregnant again and wants Emma around to do the care work.
Emma is 16 years old. she gets to decide custody. she does not want to go, so she should get to stay with the only parent she has ever known
Story 3: I need my $3000 allowance.
Me: you get an allowance?
Story about the college kid. That parent is a big fat ah! $3,000/month allowance. I went to college, was lucky to get one cent a semester from my parents. Had a WONDERFUL college experience. If anyone gave me $3.000/month, I'd party too. They ruined that kid from birth most likely.
Story 1: Oof, OP needs to go to court.
Edit: "Undermining my parenting" What parenting? She's never been there.
Allowance? What the heck is that?
Call me mean, this is the problem with “young” parents. They see kids as a novelty and the onus on raising the kids always falls on the grandparents under the guise of “help”. This was always what her daughter intended, wanted the baby for the novelty but wanted to do none of the work.
S1: take daughter to court for back child pay since she is doing so well rn.
S3: Of course she's partying and not concentrating on college. Of course she's taking expensive trips. She has no concept of money and where it comes from. She doesn't think she needs to because daddy is a bottomless money pit. OP says he's "setting her up for life" when he's actually doing the opposite. Don't create a monster and then complain about the damage it causes. It's like an orphan killing both it's parents and then complaining about the quality of the food in the orphanage.
Allowance story - oh those college years, where my parents paid for college and gave me such a nice allowance, NOT! I worked since 11-12 yo., doing all sorts of jobs to save up for college and to pay for what I needed. I was #5 of 7 kids, all of us went to college. All of us paid for college. I think my parents’ contribution was perfect. I lived at home when I went to community college for my essentials and lived at home for one year after my transfer to the state university. I still worked part-time during the school year as well as 2 jobs during the summer to pay for the next year of school. Spoiled kids handed everything never grow up. Parents need to stop coddling. Helping your kids, who are not able to earn enough for college is one thing but giving them money to burn so they can skip school and be lazy, useless crybabies is another. Congrats in raising another useless member of society.
3K allowance for a teenager... yeah no wonder the kid is as she is.
"Undermining her parenting", what parenting? This woman is a clown 😂
Edit: forgot to say that OP is an idiot for subsidizing her daughter being a deadbeat
Story 1: I think there is probably something more going on with this BUT this is why you should probably go through the courts and have real visitation schedules.
Surely the only thing to do is let emma decide.
16 year a later, why bother?
Because Emma is 90% raised and then she can take credit.
Story 1, op is at fault for raising that daughter to be the deadbeat she is. She wanted to keep the baby bcuz "abortion is bad"; then she shoulda been forced to raise her. Otherwise, op shoulda went to court and got custody bcuz she failed as a parent to get daughter.
Hi Xo
A 6 year old is not a tween!
1-NTA Sara knows nothing about her daughter and sending a 16yo to an exclusive private girls school is going to be really bad. You may have to lawyer up to protect Emma. 2-NTA If your wife doesn't begin to get with the"program" it's time to look for a lawyer. 3-NTA You haven't been setting her up for life, you've been spoiling her and you created an entitled beotch. 4-NTA You need protection, call CPS!
Yta. You have raised a spoiled brat. Make her pay her own bills. You do not owe a dime.
Story 2: NTA and how is it op’s fault? He did nothing wrong
Story 3: NTA in my opinion
Story 4: NTA and op isn’t wrong
Horrible feeling 4:17
The Grandmom never got custody. The birth-mother was always somewhat around.
It's a loosing battle Grandmom, just give it up. The birth-mom is going to win this one, so gove it up.
Wow your very wrong 😕
🧐
Story 1- sounds like the grandma poisoned the relationship between the mother and her child. It just sounds too sus. Sounds like mom worked her ass off to be able to afford to be a good mom and now grandma is undermining it. I would like to hear mom’s side of things.
Poor Emma. Op should have drawn boundaries day one. Your daughter used you and set a terrible example for a mother. Shame on all of you for this drama involving a 16 year old. Do better.
Story 1: OP over-reached her grandmother role. At some point she forgot that Emma wasn’t her child, making it impossible for Emma’s actual mother to slide back in as a parent.
The other side of this story probably reeks of OP’s sabotage and passive aggressive efforts to limit her daughter’s role as a mother, with OP establishing rules about when and where her daughter could see Emma. If OP had always wanted to reunite Emma with her mother, why wasn’t she happy that the two were going to be reunited? Why did OP need to “talk” to her daughter alone rather than congratulating her?
OP’s characterization of her daughter as a heartless career woman is belied by the crazy, f’ed up shifts she had to take for years. Those shifts are at the bottom of the career barrel - the unwanted shifts that trickle down to the powerless employees unable to say “no”.
After over a decade OP’s “career-driven” daughter finally gets a day job which is apparently so high paying that she can’t afford to buy a house until Emma is a junior in high school.
Sigh.
I found the daughter ^^^
@ I found the witchy mother ^^^^
@@webshiva another deadbeat
@ - WTF? Grandparents have historically (and more recently: think JD Vance) helped raise their grandkids when their kids weren’t able to parent because of their youth, lack of a partner, lack of money, health issues, etc. But apparently you and OP think Emma’s mom should have gone on welfare so the rest of us should be picking up the cost.
The problem here was that OP was blocking the parent/child reunification because she had bonded more with her grandchild than her daughter.
3kbux/mo? I wish The Opie would adopt *me...*
Lol same, I wonder if he wants a 38 year old daughter 😂
I was just thinking the same thing, and I am almost sixty!
Yeah, even if he wants me to go to school, then I'm game as long as he's paying. Heck, even if he isn't paying. I'll just spend some of that 3,000 a month on that!