*Story 2:* NTA _'Don't real men break down trees with their fists and build a cabin when out in the wilds?'_ That is Minecraft, sir; you are thinking of Minecraft~😂
But in Minecraft you sleep on a proper bed though. Because sleeping on a thin mattress is bad for your back in the long run. Granted, I'm shocked that this man can sleep at all. Normally you cannot sleep when monsters are nearby.
@@Eppon6 It's probably like Stockholm; it's terrifying what you can adapt to as the new normal when you've been around it long enough. Rather have the zombies and skellies than a harpy like that, myself, tho~
What is with these friends constantly telling people to apologize for shit when they are not in the wrong? I do not understand. This is how people stay entitled.
OP did not leave because of a pie, OP let because her mom is a snake. OP was asked to bring something, and mom just used it as a tool to show OP how shit she is.
No. You don't get to gloss over the reason why people shouldn't trust you. Definitely when it "ruind" her life. Op is A 32 YEAR OLD WOMAN, IT'S CALLED ASKING FOR SUGGESTIONS. That was trying to avoid stepping on glass. Truth- No one was going to eat it. Op left out a lot of important info.
@@atlgeek926 i'm just saying #1 their could be two things give them a choice. #2 what did op. if you almost ruined your life and made everyone not trust you. You can't go " you should do that to brother". WHen he never almost ruined his life and never ruined his reputation . this is Op going " I shouldn't have to earn anything back i'm owed thier absolute trust in my judgement, back, with just my word"..
I have a feeling that if OP had brought a pumpkin pie, even if it were from the best bakery on the world, the mother would've 'tried a bite' before serving anyone and declared it unfit for eating, then brought out her pie instead to serve to everyone. No matter what OP did, the mother would've served her pie and done her best to block anyone from eating OP's contribution, because this was never about the pastry. It was about control. She wants OP to feel inferior so that she can gain control and force her to do what she wants. To settle down and become a baby-factory, most likely. She overplayed her hand this time by actively denying everyone the chance to try the cheesecake, without any attempts to even touch it. Had she tried it and declared it gross, the bullying might've worked. Now that the OP had doubts and started fighting back, the cycle of abuse might be broken at last. I have no doubt that once OP severs connection, the mother will focus her attention on the next scapegoat. SIL, maybe?
@@Eppon6 I agree. That mother is manipulative as heck. OP should skip those family meetings for the next three years. She should only go again if and when she is actually looking forward to go. And she needs time to build self worth and confidence.
Mom is a classic covert narcissist and thinks she’s SO clever that no one will notice it. The men don’t care because they’re not subjected to it, and can ignore it. But she’s been torturing and gaslighting her daughter for her whole life.
Sounds like my mom, but she didn't play mindgames. Only neglects emotional wellbeing and solutions to problems; most the solutions who didn't came her to mind. And why? What is not her way to do, is a bad decision/ way to do things.
OP needs to report the neighbors to management for their aggressive behavior. This will continue to escalate until it blows up. Management needs to shut them down.
@@brookelynnwu8016 me and most of my family as I hate the taste, strawberry cheesecake the most.😅😅 My dad is the only in the family who eats cheesecake lol
Story 3: NTA. You're not obligated to endure abuse. Husband needs to take this back to family court to end this manipulation. And there's always some brain dead commenter who thinks reasoned discussion will happen with people like this.
Absolutely! The messages via the parenting app can be reviewed by the court and should be presented as evidence. The husband needs to put his foot down. The husband needs to take the lead. The only reason why the ex and her wife are doing this is because he isn’t stepping up.
yea, the ex and her wife seem like the bitter angry ex wife thing. i wonder if she was difficult even before OP came into the picture or got worse after, or even worse after her pregnancy; it'll just get worse from there. also sounds like they're poisoning the kids against her and husband.
That was the only way I got my mom saying things like “wow, you came to visit” -- I walked out. Only took once, too. She did start to say something and hint that I’d get mad if she does. I started tell her that was probably right too! She wasn’t as trainable about not commenting but not too bad.
As for the air mattress there are several reasons not to use them camping but those are mostly leaks and temperature transfer. Both can be moderated but not all leaks are patchable: seams. That said they are still great when working.
If something is left in the will for a specific person, it goes to that person and no one else. Take all that the mother left for the OP and put it someplace safe or in the home of a trusted family member
The 'minors cannot own property' comment is BS. That only applies, legally, to property that requires a contract. That requires the parents to be signed alongside the minor as guarantee. The only exception is that parents can take temporary custody of the property their minors possess, in the case of punishment or the like. They are even responsible for doing so in the case of any law-breaking involving the items. (for example, bullying using electronics, vandalism etc) But then they are responsible for returning the item in the same condition, with the max allowed time being the moment when the minor becomes a legal adult and becomes responsible for their own property. So the box with all in it belongs to the OP. Dad may hold it in temporary custody until whatever time the will releases it to OP or until the OP becomes a legal adult if he has a good enough reason, but he cannot give ANY of it away and he is responsible for the welfare of the items, to ensure they all go to the OP in the same condition as how he got them.
Story 5: NTA, your inheritance from your mother, is not his to give away. Take possession of the box and if necessary (like if you can't buy yourself a safe large enough) have a trusted relative protect it for you if your father and half-sister try to steal from it again. Story 5 (US law comment): This is totally untrue, children in the US do own their property and money. Parents only have limited rights to supervise their property and money. AKA making sure it isn't stolen and the child isn't conned out of it.
OP needs to get that box to see what else his dad has given away! Did he also give some things to his daughters mom & just forgot about it? How did his daughter know about the box & that there was cool stuff in it, that she might want for herself? It's not a big deal to dad because it's nothing he wants! If it was stocks & bonds that she wanted because of the pretty colorful pictures on them, would he give them to her too? Yah, get her a kids jewelry set from Walmart & trade her! Then get that box & take it to the grandparents or a bank safety deposit box Before the rest disappears😢!!!
Story 1: OP didn't leave upset over pumpkin pie. She left because of one more abusive act from a mother who has spent years putting her down. The straw that broke her and all that.
Story 1: You don't have depression, you have anxiety from PTSD from abuse. Everytime your egg donor hits you with another papercut, your whole body remembers the thousand other cuts that came before. Your body ramps up your adrenaline, etc. and makes you super sensitive because it's trying to get you to 'flight or fight'- it's trying to protect you. Listen to your instincts, and never go back. The men don't care because it's not them, and if you leave, it might become them. The SIL family just don't realize it yet.
"Our getting together is important to mom because brother lives in South Africa & I'm busy with work" NO, it's important to her, to be able to tell OP just how very much she's disappointed her! Her, OP's "dear old loving long suffering mother"😢!!! OP should tell dad that she's not coming back home until mom publicly apologizes & changes her ways toward OP OR he gets a divorce & OP will come to see him & only him💔!!! Mom loves to use OP as her personal punching bag! Why? Maybe she only likes boys, maybe she's jealous of OP's career & no children to contend with in her best years, who knows? Could just be a narcissistic hateful witch who only cares about herself?
Story 3: NTA, I can't think of a single reason you would have to talk to your step-children's other step-parent. Other than maybe if you were both attending a birthday party for one of the kids, or if she were dropping the kids off and something important happened that needed to be past along. Heck I don't think my mom talked to my step-mom (dad's wife) more than a dozen or so times in over the last 30 years, and it was always about us kids (well not so much kids anymore). Your husband needs to get a good lawyer and take his Ex to court over all the parental alienation, and custodial interference.
Story 4: NTA. You pay for it. It's yours. You told them no. Just like they did when you asked for a neighborly favor. Tell anyone who thinks you were wronv to pay the neighbors themselves.
I would've taken the cheesecake back home with me. First, though, kitchen or not, I'd go and cut myself a big honkin' piece of cheesecake and raved about it, then make gagging noises at the mention of The Mother's pie.
Story 2: Soooo anybody wana bet that if/when Op breaks up with her she’ll completely freak out and say “you’re breaking up with me over a tent”😂😂😂 No NTA Op but your gf is a complete brat
Honestly, this whole situation feels so layered with frustration and pain. Your mom's actions-bringing a backup dessert and shutting down any chance for others to enjoy your cheesecake-come off as deliberate undermining. That must have stung, especially since you were trying to contribute something meaningful to the dinner. Family dynamics can be so exhausting, especially when criticism feels one-sided. It's okay to feel hurt and step away to protect yourself emotionally. Have you ever thought about setting stronger boundaries for these gatherings? Or maybe celebrating holidays with people who truly support you? Sending you love and strength-you deserve to feel valued.
My mother was like this. Nothing I did was ever perfect enough. I moved away and only saw her a couple of days every 2 years at Christmas. At the end of her life (94) she was a bit better, but then it was crying and begging forgiveness for treating me badly every time I saw her. Very emotionally upsetting. When she died my husband said he had always hated going there even though she never picked on him and had never had one happy Christmas there.
Exactly. No matter what the OP did in that situation, the monster-mother would've found a way to serve her pie and avoid letting anyone eat OP's contribution. Had she brought a pumpkin pie, even if it were from the best bakery on the planet, mother would've declared it awful. This was never about the pastry, this was about control. The more she can bully her daughter, the higher the chance she can convince her to settle down and become a baby-factory. Like she wants. But she overplayed her hand by leaving the cheesecake untouched. It's a blatant insult. Had she tried it and declared it gross, OP would've likely accepted that. Since she was unsure about her own cooking, going by her wording. Now, the OP is starting to fight back. Hopefully, she cuts off contact. I'm willing to bet once she does, mother will redirect her need to have a scapegoat to someone else. Someone whose NOT used to the bullying, not traumatized enough to accept the disrespect.
In all fairness the half sister is 8, also OP never mentions she has a habit of taking things without permission, I’d more willing to wager it was the father who gave the bracelets to her. I see your point but without OP saying anything to the contrary I’m thinking the sister is innocent of any malice, it’s the father who decided his new child with his new wife “deserved something from his first wife” … seriously wtf? The kid never even *met* OP’s mom 😒😒😒
Story 2: OP....Run.. This isn't just an over reaction, it is an insane overreaction. But I would advise using both the thin mattress and the inflatable one. If you got a good comfortable inflatable one, use the soft one to protect the inflatable one from the ground, and if you got a crappy inflatable one, use the soft mattress for added comfort. In either case you don't need your insane girlfriend to enjoy it.
the moment i saw that comment about 'don't real men break down trees with their fists' all i could think is "i am steve, as a child i yearned for the mines" I guess real men play minecraft
Story 1- well neo the rest of your family can stay in the MATRIX with your mother…. BUT YOU are AWAKE! Stay out! You’re not the AH! Super proud you walked away despite the sheep baaaaaaing at you to come back
Then the idiot family will jump on OP for being rude to her mother and ignore all attempts to point out that that is exactly how her mother is towards her. I wish OP luck.
@@breezy3392 yes my thoughts exactly. I think she’s trying to trïggêr OP so she can jump don’t her throat and call her êvïl for being hurt by the things she says.
That last comment in the last story is totally wrong. Minors DO own property in the US. That's wild that the commenter thinks it is the dad's stuff. It was willed to OP. It is not up to OP to give something. And the last bracelet idea is missing the whole point.
Last story: NTA That jewelry has more value than the metals and stones it is made from. That said the last commenter was brilliant with a solution. Giving the half sister a bracelet that is specially from him to her should mean more to her than the other bracelets.
Story 1. My ex's family did this to me. I made a Kentucky Bourbon Pecan Cheesecake. They demolished the store bought apple and cherry pies his grandmother brought as she scoffed at how over the top my dessert was. Once I learned they had the palate of middle school aged adolescents I finally was able to figure out what to feed them without it being treated like it was poisonous, but one toe out of line (buttermilk pie) and they'd clutch their pearls. I broke up with him and his family of AHs and am now dating a Filipino American. I've recently had the experience of being fed by his parents (and my boyfriend shoving food on my plate every time I thought I was nearly done. 😅) I realized, while enthusiastically eating food I don't recognize, just how damned rude my ex's family always was about the things I'd make. I'm glad I left that toxicity in my past and I hope the OP finally realizes they can too.
It’s crazy how family dynamics like this can really mess with your emotions, even as an adult. Your mom's actions sound more calculated than accidental-like she wanted to control the situation and put you in your place for some reason. Do you feel like this is part of a bigger pattern in your relationship with her? I’ve noticed that these moments are rarely just about the pie or cheesecake-it’s about power, control, and underlying resentments. Anyone else deal with family stuff like this?
Last story- The real issue is that the older sister has a box only for her. Her younger sister is jealous, and dad gave the bracelets to her to shut her up. Op needs to get the box to someone she can trust before it is destroyed.
Story 1: You need to go no contact with your family and get into therapy ASAP!😢 Story 2: It’s your tent and you should be able to do whatever is necessary to make yourself comfortable when camping😒 Story 3: Your husband may need to take the ex back to court in order to get this mess straightened out. The ex’s partner doesn’t have a dog in this fight😒 Story 4: You told them that they couldn’t use your parking spot. If they suffer consequences by ignoring you, that’s on them🙄 Story 5: If that had been me, I would have snatched those bracelets off of her right away! Get those boxes out of your father’s room and give them to someone that you can trust. As for your father, how did he think that giving his youngest daughter something that was willed to you, from your mother, without your consent, was going to bring the two of you closer together?😠
Tell mom and dad “oh you’re worried about grandkids well you can stop …. If and that’s a big if I ever have kids YOU WILL NEVER MEET them so just put it out your mind “
"He still loves mom and wanted my half sister to have something from her." Call the sanitation department and code enforcement! It's a violation to keep steaming bullshit in an inhabited dwelling, especially a pile that big!
I sure hope you took your lovely cheesecake with you as she doesn’t deserve your food or your company . Have you thought of going no contact with your abusive mother I bet she has a great deal to do with your ill health you need to stay away from her and anyone who thinks she is right , give yourself a break and some peace . l
Last story: parents do not own property that was willed to their children, that’s not how it works. Giving away something OP’s mother willed to him was illegal
You had a good reason. They asked you to do this then treated it as if it was nasty without tasting it. She was deliberately cruel. Go no contact and give yourself a break.
Story 1: OP, there was nothing "trivial" about this. It would be trivial if you were just upset she made a cake. but the fact she kept it in the kitchen and didn't let anyone try it that is the serious problem. Heck at my family event, we usually end up with at least 2 or 3 totally different pies/cakes and that is just for minor events. Thanksgiving and Christmas we would sometimes have as many as 10 and not once did anyone complain about "to many options /tastes" (well other than complaining about not having enough space in their stomach to try everything).
The 1st story, I feel bad for OP. I hate that she even has to go through this with her mom and I hate that her dad and brother are so blind to how her mother is treating her. And seriously, choosing pumpkin pie over the maple cheesecake? I would choose the cheesecake, it sounds so good and I am not a fan of pumpkin pie. For OP's own mental health it probably would be best if she at least went low contact with her family or no contact, just until her mother gets over herself. OP is NTA, I would have left to if I had been in her place.
Lord I am so petty .. while listening to cheesecake story all I am thinking is OP should group text the entire family that she is pregnant and was going to announce it with a message under the cake but sense the mother ruined it she is going no contact with her parents..then a week or two later the stress caused a miscarriage
Story 1 - OP didn't leave because of a pumpkin pie. She left because of the heartless cruelty and disrespect from her mother. Story 2 - What does OP get out of his relationship with this woman? I would be seriously rethinking this relationship. Story 3 - Where in the hell is OP's husband while his kids are insulting her? Why is he letting this slide? They're not OP's kids, so why is it a big deal that she doesn't get involved in coparenting? That one commenter has obviously never been in a step parent situation. All parenting should be done between the actual parents, new spouses should not be directly involved. I agree that it's time to get lawyers involved, since the mother is actively interfering with the father's relationship with the kids, and the new wife is escalating the situation with her attacks against OP. Story 4 - That is OP's paid parking spot, not a free guest parking spot. OP can tell anyone "no" for any reason, and he doesn't have to give every neighbor the same privilege. In my eyes, he's only returning the energy that they gave him to begin with. Their entitlement won't make things better between them, and OP isn't obligated to smooth the way. Story 5 - OP's dad just proved that he's not trustworthy, to give something that was literally willed to OP to his new kid. If I were OP, I'd bring charges and get an estate lawyer involved. This is theft. And I wonder what happened to the letter that was attached to the box. The commenter stating that minors don't own property is completely incorrect when it comes to inheritance. Dad was supposed to safeguard it until OP came of age. It wasn't his to do with as he pleased. And OP shouldn't buy her dad's new kid a replacement unless they really want to.
I just would have told mom let people eat what they want and decide. They've already mixed many flavors for dinner yet can only have one flavor for dessert. I just woulda asked the mom why not let them eat the cheesecake, you worried they might like it more than the same ol pumpkin. Then I'd get a fat slice of cheesecake and divine making sure the smell wafts around. If you give them the power over you they will use it to abuse you.
Well my mom told me that I didnt have to bring any sides to Thanksgiving. I usually make my own food due to dietary restrictions. There was literally nothing there I could eat. But they all got mad when I left and went home to make something to eat. I was hungry and had nothing there I could eat. My mother has always been very passive aggressive towards me ,she was the vitctim in this of course. She also asked me to come over to see where she framed Christmas pictures if the whole family. I was not included in any of the photos. My favorite is when she told me I was her biggest disappointment in life because I couldnt have kids. I dont care any more.
Ugh, ditch that thin foam mattress. I’ve been camping for 60+ years and i can tell you, you can put up with a heck of a lot of camping mishaps as long as you have a comfortable place to sleep. GF making such a fuss over such a ridiculous thing is, well, ridiculous!
Story one: Mom only accepts pumpkin pie at her special dinners, and she made the one family member who hates pumpkin pie responsible for desert, and still expected it to be pumpkin pie, and then made the cheesecake out to be a severe error in her daughter's judgement and tried to shame her in front of everyone by reasserting that pumpkin is the only dessert, and attacked the only person brave enough to interrupt her daughter's punishment by asking for the other dessert. What a piece of work! It's not about the pie, her mother is a witch! The tent and mattress story: I'm so confused. Her reaction makes no sense. I feel like I'm missing several dots I need to complete the picture, and OP is missing them also--and I have no proof or logic for it, but sometimes when this is happening, the missing dots involve cheating? Or maybe a meddling friend who is scattering toxic dots about, or maybe a mental illness. I'm really reaching, but maybe she's actually in deep financial trouble (they have separate finances, so he might have no way of knowing) and really emptied her bank account to get him the tent, and so over-reacted when her sacrifice "wasn't good enough" for him, in which case, yikes, they need to talk about that. He's not the AH at all though, regardless of the reason.
Story 1 let’s be honest even if op had made a pipkin pie the mum would have said there was something wrong with it and it was a good job she had made one as well.
OP NTA. Your Mom sucks and so does your dad for not stopping your mom from abusing you. She did this all on purpose. You did nothing wrong with leaving with your dessert you made. Tell dad & mom you aren't going to bother coming to "family dinner" anymore. That mom owes you an apology and maybe try some nc. But during that time i think it very necessary for therapy because your mom has been passive aggressive toward you for years and you need to talk about how to heal from that and how to combat that
How is having depression you messing up?! Your mom is abusive. Honey, get into counseling, set firm boundaries with your mother, and follow through with consequences if/when she won't follow the rules.
Blending families with children is irresponsible. 99 out of 100 times it's toxic. Be an adult and stay with the person you married. And maybe get premarital counseling instead if marrying someone abusive without even checking... don't be a whore.
![[FULL STORY] My Mother Disowned Me For Being Childfree, So I Left Her In The Cold.](/img/1.gif)
*Story 2:* NTA _'Don't real men break down trees with their fists and build a cabin when out in the wilds?'_ That is Minecraft, sir; you are thinking of Minecraft~😂
But in Minecraft you sleep on a proper bed though. Because sleeping on a thin mattress is bad for your back in the long run. Granted, I'm shocked that this man can sleep at all. Normally you cannot sleep when monsters are nearby.
@@Eppon6 It's probably like Stockholm; it's terrifying what you can adapt to as the new normal when you've been around it long enough.
Rather have the zombies and skellies than a harpy like that, myself, tho~
What is with these friends constantly telling people to apologize for shit when they are not in the wrong? I do not understand. This is how people stay entitled.
OP did not leave because of a pie, OP let because her mom is a snake. OP was asked to bring something, and mom just used it as a tool to show OP how shit she is.
No. You don't get to gloss over the reason why people shouldn't trust you. Definitely when it "ruind" her life. Op is A 32 YEAR OLD WOMAN, IT'S CALLED ASKING FOR SUGGESTIONS. That was trying to avoid stepping on glass. Truth- No one was going to eat it. Op left out a lot of important info.
If you wanted cheese caake get up go to kitchen and get a slice, your hands angd legs are not broken
@@atlgeek926 i'm just saying #1 their could be two things give them a choice. #2 what did op. if you almost ruined your life and made everyone not trust you. You can't go " you should do that to brother". WHen he never almost ruined his life and never ruined his reputation . this is Op going " I shouldn't have to earn anything back i'm owed thier absolute trust in my judgement, back, with just my word"..
I have a feeling that if OP had brought a pumpkin pie, even if it were from the best bakery on the world, the mother would've 'tried a bite' before serving anyone and declared it unfit for eating, then brought out her pie instead to serve to everyone.
No matter what OP did, the mother would've served her pie and done her best to block anyone from eating OP's contribution, because this was never about the pastry. It was about control. She wants OP to feel inferior so that she can gain control and force her to do what she wants. To settle down and become a baby-factory, most likely.
She overplayed her hand this time by actively denying everyone the chance to try the cheesecake, without any attempts to even touch it. Had she tried it and declared it gross, the bullying might've worked. Now that the OP had doubts and started fighting back, the cycle of abuse might be broken at last.
I have no doubt that once OP severs connection, the mother will focus her attention on the next scapegoat. SIL, maybe?
@@Eppon6 I agree. That mother is manipulative as heck. OP should skip those family meetings for the next three years. She should only go again if and when she is actually looking forward to go. And she needs time to build self worth and confidence.
Mom is a classic covert narcissist and thinks she’s SO clever that no one will notice it. The men don’t care because they’re not subjected to it, and can ignore it. But she’s been torturing and gaslighting her daughter for her whole life.
I agree.
Sounds like my mom, but she didn't play mindgames. Only neglects emotional wellbeing and solutions to problems; most the solutions who didn't came her to mind. And why? What is not her way to do, is a bad decision/ way to do things.
OP needs to report the neighbors to management for their aggressive behavior. This will continue to escalate until it blows up. Management needs to shut them down.
" I was crying FOR SOME REASON" The reason in OPs mom sucks. WTF is wrong with cheesecake?
I could happily live on an all cheesecake diet.
@@Chuckf66 Same, I'd for sure take that over pumpkin pie
It's not about the cheesecake but manipulation and control. "Dearest" mom set OP up right from the start.
Mom didn't make it.
Maple cheescake sounds fking awesome...
Yeah mom was clearly jealous of her awesome dessert! 😂
Who doesn’t like cheesecake? (Excluding the lactose intolerant lol)
@@brookelynnwu8016 I know 3 or 4 receipes of cheesecake and only like 2 of them and have 1 favorite i could eat alone the whole cake. ;)
I don't like cheesecake (or pie of any kind 🤮) but even I would try that just to see what it tasted like 🤷 That mom is horrible
@@brookelynnwu8016 me and most of my family as I hate the taste, strawberry cheesecake the most.😅😅 My dad is the only in the family who eats cheesecake lol
I thought that too. If I was there, that old bat would have to wrestle me to the ground to stop me having some!
Story 3: NTA. You're not obligated to endure abuse. Husband needs to take this back to family court to end this manipulation.
And there's always some brain dead commenter who thinks reasoned discussion will happen with people like this.
Absolutely! The messages via the parenting app can be reviewed by the court and should be presented as evidence. The husband needs to put his foot down. The husband needs to take the lead. The only reason why the ex and her wife are doing this is because he isn’t stepping up.
yea, the ex and her wife seem like the bitter angry ex wife thing. i wonder if she was difficult even before OP came into the picture or got worse after, or even worse after her pregnancy; it'll just get worse from there. also sounds like they're poisoning the kids against her and husband.
Those 2 women are waiting for a problem to come up so they can run to the courts
Story 1: NTA. Mom is abusive and rude. Don't feel bad about walking away from being insulted.
The whole thing was a set up for the mom attacking op either way
That was the only way I got my mom saying things like “wow, you came to visit” -- I walked out. Only took once, too. She did start to say something and hint that I’d get mad if she does. I started tell her that was probably right too! She wasn’t as trainable about not commenting but not too bad.
As for the air mattress there are several reasons not to use them camping but those are mostly leaks and temperature transfer. Both can be moderated but not all leaks are patchable: seams. That said they are still great when working.
Who thinks a step kid deserves something from a mom not her own? That makes no sense.
If something is left in the will for a specific person, it goes to that person and no one else. Take all that the mother left for the OP and put it someplace safe or in the home of a trusted family member
The 'minors cannot own property' comment is BS. That only applies, legally, to property that requires a contract. That requires the parents to be signed alongside the minor as guarantee. The only exception is that parents can take temporary custody of the property their minors possess, in the case of punishment or the like. They are even responsible for doing so in the case of any law-breaking involving the items. (for example, bullying using electronics, vandalism etc) But then they are responsible for returning the item in the same condition, with the max allowed time being the moment when the minor becomes a legal adult and becomes responsible for their own property.
So the box with all in it belongs to the OP. Dad may hold it in temporary custody until whatever time the will releases it to OP or until the OP becomes a legal adult if he has a good enough reason, but he cannot give ANY of it away and he is responsible for the welfare of the items, to ensure they all go to the OP in the same condition as how he got them.
Story 5: NTA, your inheritance from your mother, is not his to give away. Take possession of the box and if necessary (like if you can't buy yourself a safe large enough) have a trusted relative protect it for you if your father and half-sister try to steal from it again.
Story 5 (US law comment): This is totally untrue, children in the US do own their property and money. Parents only have limited rights to supervise their property and money. AKA making sure it isn't stolen and the child isn't conned out of it.
OP needs to get that box to see what else his dad has given away! Did he also give some things to his daughters mom & just forgot about it? How did his daughter know about the box & that there was cool stuff in it, that she might want for herself? It's not a big deal to dad because it's nothing he wants! If it was stocks & bonds that she wanted because of the pretty colorful pictures on them, would he give them to her too? Yah, get her a kids jewelry set from Walmart & trade her! Then get that box & take it to the grandparents or a bank safety deposit box Before the rest disappears😢!!!
Op 1: These holidays, give your family the gift of nooooooo contaaaact!
story 3: bet those people shaming OP would talk differently if it was them having to deal with that kind of BS
Story 1: OP didn't leave upset over pumpkin pie. She left because of one more abusive act from a mother who has spent years putting her down. The straw that broke her and all that.
Story 1: You don't have depression, you have anxiety from PTSD from abuse. Everytime your egg donor hits you with another papercut, your whole body remembers the thousand other cuts that came before. Your body ramps up your adrenaline, etc. and makes you super sensitive because it's trying to get you to 'flight or fight'- it's trying to protect you. Listen to your instincts, and never go back. The men don't care because it's not them, and if you leave, it might become them. The SIL family just don't realize it yet.
"Our getting together is important to mom because brother lives in South Africa & I'm busy with work"
NO, it's important to her, to be able to tell OP just how very much she's disappointed her! Her, OP's "dear old loving long suffering mother"😢!!!
OP should tell dad that she's not coming back home until mom publicly apologizes & changes her ways toward OP OR he gets a divorce & OP will come to see him & only him💔!!! Mom loves to use OP as her personal punching bag! Why? Maybe she only likes boys, maybe she's jealous of OP's career & no children to contend with in her best years, who knows? Could just be a narcissistic hateful witch who only cares about herself?
Story 3: NTA, I can't think of a single reason you would have to talk to your step-children's other step-parent. Other than maybe if you were both attending a birthday party for one of the kids, or if she were dropping the kids off and something important happened that needed to be past along.
Heck I don't think my mom talked to my step-mom (dad's wife) more than a dozen or so times in over the last 30 years, and it was always about us kids (well not so much kids anymore).
Your husband needs to get a good lawyer and take his Ex to court over all the parental alienation, and custodial interference.
Story 4: NTA, it is your space and you said "no". Also you can't treat neighbors like trash then expect them to do you a huge favor.
Nta. Ex wife and her new wife are toxic bullies. Take her back to court.
Story 4: NTA. You pay for it. It's yours. You told them no. Just like they did when you asked for a neighborly favor. Tell anyone who thinks you were wronv to pay the neighbors themselves.
Story 2: The girlfriend is nuts and OP is lucky if they break up.
who in their right mind wants to get a sore back during camping.
I would've taken the cheesecake back home with me.
First, though, kitchen or not, I'd go and cut myself a big honkin' piece of cheesecake and raved about it, then make gagging noises at the mention of The Mother's pie.
Life is too short to be eating pumpkin pie when cheesecake is available.
Too right!
Story 2: Soooo anybody wana bet that if/when Op breaks up with her she’ll completely freak out and say “you’re breaking up with me over a tent”😂😂😂
No NTA Op but your gf is a complete brat
Honestly, this whole situation feels so layered with frustration and pain. Your mom's actions-bringing a backup dessert and shutting down any chance for others to enjoy your cheesecake-come off as deliberate undermining. That must have stung, especially since you were trying to contribute something meaningful to the dinner. Family dynamics can be so exhausting, especially when criticism feels one-sided. It's okay to feel hurt and step away to protect yourself emotionally. Have you ever thought about setting stronger boundaries for these gatherings? Or maybe celebrating holidays with people who truly support you? Sending you love and strength-you deserve to feel valued.
Story 1: oh honey that’s called trauma and a whole lot of it
My mother was like this. Nothing I did was ever perfect enough. I moved away and only saw her a couple of days every 2 years at Christmas. At the end of her life (94) she was a bit better, but then it was crying and begging forgiveness for treating me badly every time I saw her. Very emotionally upsetting. When she died my husband said he had always hated going there even though she never picked on him and had never had one happy Christmas there.
we found a key why OP suffers from depression. Its likely a result of mom's treatment over a lifetime.
Exactly. No matter what the OP did in that situation, the monster-mother would've found a way to serve her pie and avoid letting anyone eat OP's contribution. Had she brought a pumpkin pie, even if it were from the best bakery on the planet, mother would've declared it awful.
This was never about the pastry, this was about control. The more she can bully her daughter, the higher the chance she can convince her to settle down and become a baby-factory. Like she wants.
But she overplayed her hand by leaving the cheesecake untouched. It's a blatant insult. Had she tried it and declared it gross, OP would've likely accepted that. Since she was unsure about her own cooking, going by her wording. Now, the OP is starting to fight back. Hopefully, she cuts off contact. I'm willing to bet once she does, mother will redirect her need to have a scapegoat to someone else. Someone whose NOT used to the bullying, not traumatized enough to accept the disrespect.
Yep. And mom goes full DARVO on her. 😒🙄
OP needs to get out before mother wants OP to take care of her because brother lives in South Africa and can't do it.
It's not a nice gesture. It's friggin theft
It's actually illegal and when OP turns 18 they can bring charges against the father to return anything and everything in at box to OP.
that commenter at the end is insane the sister stole from op and shpuld be rewarded? fuck no
In all fairness the half sister is 8, also OP never mentions she has a habit of taking things without permission, I’d more willing to wager it was the father who gave the bracelets to her. I see your point but without OP saying anything to the contrary I’m thinking the sister is innocent of any malice, it’s the father who decided his new child with his new wife “deserved something from his first wife” … seriously wtf? The kid never even *met* OP’s mom 😒😒😒
Story 2: OP....Run.. This isn't just an over reaction, it is an insane overreaction.
But I would advise using both the thin mattress and the inflatable one. If you got a good comfortable inflatable one, use the soft one to protect the inflatable one from the ground, and if you got a crappy inflatable one, use the soft mattress for added comfort. In either case you don't need your insane girlfriend to enjoy it.
the moment i saw that comment about 'don't real men break down trees with their fists' all i could think is "i am steve, as a child i yearned for the mines"
I guess real men play minecraft
Nta. Keep the mattress and tent. Dump the gf. Enjoy your camping.
Story 1- well neo the rest of your family can stay in the MATRIX with your mother…. BUT YOU are AWAKE! Stay out! You’re not the AH! Super proud you walked away despite the sheep baaaaaaing at you to come back
S1: OP should flip the script, start making passive-aggressive critiques of her mother. See how fast she hits the roof!
Then the idiot family will jump on OP for being rude to her mother and ignore all attempts to point out that that is exactly how her mother is towards her.
I wish OP luck.
@@breezy3392 yes my thoughts exactly. I think she’s trying to trïggêr OP so she can jump don’t her throat and call her êvïl for being hurt by the things she says.
That last comment in the last story is totally wrong. Minors DO own property in the US. That's wild that the commenter thinks it is the dad's stuff. It was willed to OP. It is not up to OP to give something. And the last bracelet idea is missing the whole point.
Last story: NTA That jewelry has more value than the metals and stones it is made from. That said the last commenter was brilliant with a solution. Giving the half sister a bracelet that is specially from him to her should mean more to her than the other bracelets.
15:09 Dad knew it was wrong, or he would have asked
Mom is an ah!! Take the cake with you..yummy
last story if step sis gets his moms jewlrey he should get equal vaue from step mom
Story 1. My ex's family did this to me. I made a Kentucky Bourbon Pecan Cheesecake. They demolished the store bought apple and cherry pies his grandmother brought as she scoffed at how over the top my dessert was. Once I learned they had the palate of middle school aged adolescents I finally was able to figure out what to feed them without it being treated like it was poisonous, but one toe out of line (buttermilk pie) and they'd clutch their pearls. I broke up with him and his family of AHs and am now dating a Filipino American. I've recently had the experience of being fed by his parents (and my boyfriend shoving food on my plate every time I thought I was nearly done. 😅) I realized, while enthusiastically eating food I don't recognize, just how damned rude my ex's family always was about the things I'd make. I'm glad I left that toxicity in my past and I hope the OP finally realizes they can too.
Story 1: That would be the last time they would see me. Would have taken my Cake and blocked all of them. NTA OP, go No Contact
exactly
It’s crazy how family dynamics like this can really mess with your emotions, even as an adult. Your mom's actions sound more calculated than accidental-like she wanted to control the situation and put you in your place for some reason. Do you feel like this is part of a bigger pattern in your relationship with her? I’ve noticed that these moments are rarely just about the pie or cheesecake-it’s about power, control, and underlying resentments. Anyone else deal with family stuff like this?
Why the hell is in the husband standing up for OP when his ex wife wife is demeaning her?
Last story- The real issue is that the older sister has a box only for her. Her younger sister is jealous, and dad gave the bracelets to her to shut her up. Op needs to get the box to someone she can trust before it is destroyed.
Story 1: You need to go no contact with your family and get into therapy ASAP!😢
Story 2: It’s your tent and you should be able to do whatever is necessary to make yourself comfortable when camping😒
Story 3: Your husband may need to take the ex back to court in order to get this mess straightened out. The ex’s partner doesn’t have a dog in this fight😒
Story 4: You told them that they couldn’t use your parking spot. If they suffer consequences by ignoring you, that’s on them🙄
Story 5: If that had been me, I would have snatched those bracelets off of her right away! Get those boxes out of your father’s room and give them to someone that you can trust. As for your father, how did he think that giving his youngest daughter something that was willed to you, from your mother, without your consent, was going to bring the two of you closer together?😠
I love me some pumpkin pie, but I would definitely choose the cheese cake
Story 1:YTA for continuous being your horrible mothers door mat
Story 3 is so wild: the wifes wife is like "you have to interact with me, its best for the kids" as if being an affair partner was good for the kids.
Tell mom and dad “oh you’re worried about grandkids well you can stop …. If and that’s a big if I ever have kids YOU WILL NEVER MEET them so just put it out your mind “
"He still loves mom and wanted my half sister to have something from her." Call the sanitation department and code enforcement! It's a violation to keep steaming bullshit in an inhabited dwelling, especially a pile that big!
I would have LOVED to try OP's Maple cheesecake!!
I don't even have to hear the rest of the story....
Op's correct!
Mhmm I want cheesecake now!
I sure hope you took your lovely cheesecake with you as she doesn’t deserve your food or your company . Have you thought of going no contact with your abusive mother I bet she has a great deal to do with your ill health you need to stay away from her and anyone who thinks she is right , give yourself a break and some peace . l
Last story: parents do not own property that was willed to their children, that’s not how it works. Giving away something OP’s mother willed to him was illegal
Story 2: NTA and legit just let the trash take itself out. She wants to break up? Sure, have at it. Good god.
You had a good reason. They asked you to do this then treated it as if it was nasty without tasting it. She was deliberately cruel. Go no contact and give yourself a break.
Story 1: OP, there was nothing "trivial" about this. It would be trivial if you were just upset she made a cake. but the fact she kept it in the kitchen and didn't let anyone try it that is the serious problem.
Heck at my family event, we usually end up with at least 2 or 3 totally different pies/cakes and that is just for minor events. Thanksgiving and Christmas we would sometimes have as many as 10 and not once did anyone complain about "to many options /tastes" (well other than complaining about not having enough space in their stomach to try everything).
The 1st story, I feel bad for OP. I hate that she even has to go through this with her mom and I hate that her dad and brother are so blind to how her mother is treating her. And seriously, choosing pumpkin pie over the maple cheesecake? I would choose the cheesecake, it sounds so good and I am not a fan of pumpkin pie. For OP's own mental health it probably would be best if she at least went low contact with her family or no contact, just until her mother gets over herself. OP is NTA, I would have left to if I had been in her place.
Lord I am so petty .. while listening to cheesecake story all I am thinking is OP should group text the entire family that she is pregnant and was going to announce it with a message under the cake but sense the mother ruined it she is going no contact with her parents..then a week or two later the stress caused a miscarriage
Story 1 - OP didn't leave because of a pumpkin pie. She left because of the heartless cruelty and disrespect from her mother.
Story 2 - What does OP get out of his relationship with this woman? I would be seriously rethinking this relationship.
Story 3 - Where in the hell is OP's husband while his kids are insulting her? Why is he letting this slide? They're not OP's kids, so why is it a big deal that she doesn't get involved in coparenting? That one commenter has obviously never been in a step parent situation. All parenting should be done between the actual parents, new spouses should not be directly involved. I agree that it's time to get lawyers involved, since the mother is actively interfering with the father's relationship with the kids, and the new wife is escalating the situation with her attacks against OP.
Story 4 - That is OP's paid parking spot, not a free guest parking spot. OP can tell anyone "no" for any reason, and he doesn't have to give every neighbor the same privilege. In my eyes, he's only returning the energy that they gave him to begin with. Their entitlement won't make things better between them, and OP isn't obligated to smooth the way.
Story 5 - OP's dad just proved that he's not trustworthy, to give something that was literally willed to OP to his new kid. If I were OP, I'd bring charges and get an estate lawyer involved. This is theft. And I wonder what happened to the letter that was attached to the box. The commenter stating that minors don't own property is completely incorrect when it comes to inheritance. Dad was supposed to safeguard it until OP came of age. It wasn't his to do with as he pleased. And OP shouldn't buy her dad's new kid a replacement unless they really want to.
Thanks XO!!❤
I just would have told mom let people eat what they want and decide. They've already mixed many flavors for dinner yet can only have one flavor for dessert. I just woulda asked the mom why not let them eat the cheesecake, you worried they might like it more than the same ol pumpkin. Then I'd get a fat slice of cheesecake and divine making sure the smell wafts around. If you give them the power over you they will use it to abuse you.
Story 1 is awful. That's seriously toxic and it was right to walk away. Don't answer them until they're ready to include you in the circle as an equal
Well my mom told me that I didnt have to bring any sides to Thanksgiving. I usually make my own food due to dietary restrictions. There was literally nothing there I could eat. But they all got mad when I left and went home to make something to eat. I was hungry and had nothing there I could eat. My mother has always been very passive aggressive towards me ,she was the vitctim in this of course. She also asked me to come over to see where she framed Christmas pictures if the whole family. I was not included in any of the photos. My favorite is when she told me I was her biggest disappointment in life because I couldnt have kids. I dont care any more.
Ugh, ditch that thin foam mattress. I’ve been camping for 60+ years and i can tell you, you can put up with a heck of a lot of camping mishaps as long as you have a comfortable place to sleep. GF making such a fuss over such a ridiculous thing is, well, ridiculous!
Half sister should not be given a gift after she stole the heirloom withndad's help.
Saying, "my girlfriend purchased me" has some interesting implications, but NTA. Why does she want you to be uncomfortable?
Cheesecake ❤❤❤😋😋😋
S2 let her sleep on it when she get bad night sleep that a her problem . This was power move
Story one: Mom only accepts pumpkin pie at her special dinners, and she made the one family member who hates pumpkin pie responsible for desert, and still expected it to be pumpkin pie, and then made the cheesecake out to be a severe error in her daughter's judgement and tried to shame her in front of everyone by reasserting that pumpkin is the only dessert, and attacked the only person brave enough to interrupt her daughter's punishment by asking for the other dessert. What a piece of work! It's not about the pie, her mother is a witch!
The tent and mattress story: I'm so confused. Her reaction makes no sense. I feel like I'm missing several dots I need to complete the picture, and OP is missing them also--and I have no proof or logic for it, but sometimes when this is happening, the missing dots involve cheating? Or maybe a meddling friend who is scattering toxic dots about, or maybe a mental illness. I'm really reaching, but maybe she's actually in deep financial trouble (they have separate finances, so he might have no way of knowing) and really emptied her bank account to get him the tent, and so over-reacted when her sacrifice "wasn't good enough" for him, in which case, yikes, they need to talk about that. He's not the AH at all though, regardless of the reason.
Story 1 let’s be honest even if op had made a pipkin pie the mum would have said there was something wrong with it and it was a good job she had made one as well.
Story 1: Mother is monster
S1 mum is jealous probably since birth doesn’t like competition
S3 go to court if bio mum is being abusive
OP NTA. Your Mom sucks and so does your dad for not stopping your mom from abusing you. She did this all on purpose. You did nothing wrong with leaving with your dessert you made. Tell dad & mom you aren't going to bother coming to "family dinner" anymore. That mom owes you an apology and maybe try some nc. But during that time i think it very necessary for therapy because your mom has been passive aggressive toward you for years and you need to talk about how to heal from that and how to combat that
How is having depression you messing up?! Your mom is abusive. Honey, get into counseling, set firm boundaries with your mother, and follow through with consequences if/when she won't follow the rules.
It would be a shame if something “accidentally” ruined that pumpkin pie
Story 1: NTA
Blending families with children is irresponsible. 99 out of 100 times it's toxic. Be an adult and stay with the person you married. And maybe get premarital counseling instead if marrying someone abusive without even checking... don't be a whore.