The Bracelet Story: Your daughter in law called you controlling and your gift ugly. Yet, some redditors think you need to fix this because YTA. The level of mental gymnastics here in mind boggling.
That's what I don't understand! She called her controlling for giving her the bracelet, then when op says fine you don't have to wear it she throws another fit and says you're not accepting me?!? 🤦🤦🤦 I'd wash my hands of the whole mess and tell my son I love you and will be waiting on the other side of this train wreck for you
An eye for I will make a whole world Blind. so the relationship breaks down, and people eventually go no contact, all four a tradition to please mostly dead people. as for selling it on, that is literally what an asset is therefore, to keep you afloat during times of strife. sentimentality is a funny thing with some people, I'd rather starve and keep hold of this heirloom than sell it on 😂
OMG right?? Covetous much??? She’s been eyeballing that bedroom set since it got put in, now thinks she’s entitled to it because why? Because she wants it. LMAO. Get the heck out of here
The utter gall of the greedy green eyed monster proclaiming greed on those who worked for and bought their own stuff. I think we've done several generations a disservice by teaching that they must share-- which is mostly something done to stop the greediest most covetous child from screaming for things that don't belong to them so the adults won't be bothered. Lazy and short- sighted. It's one thing to have the kids share a game console you paid for, but another to just give your loudest child everything that belongs to their siblings because they demand it. They turn into terrible adults AND their siblings will resent them and the parent because the goblin gets what they want.
She took it personally??? Of course she did, she was talking crap about her! That last redditor is delusional. Since she considers it controlling and the jewelry ugly, she shouldn't have a problem with giving it back. I wouldn't consider her family either.
Birthday present: So OP's wife checks his mail, checks his phone, doesn't like his sister because he loans her money that sister pays back, and decided to throw a tantrum because of her assumption. NTA. She's sounds controlling and toxic. Heirloom bracelet: What part of FDIL insulting OP and the family heirloom bracelet wasn't personal? It's controlling to give her the bracelet and exclusionary to take it back. OP can't win with this entitled brat. I wouldn't want her as part of my family either. NTA.
Birthday story: his wife has all these red flags yet people still had the gall to call OP the AH. One had the nerve to call the sister a mooch even though she always pays OP back and she doesn’t ask of OP often.
@@lorilancaster5917exactly I knew it was a personal attack when wife called sister a mooch. The 2 examples he gave was not mooch like behavior emergency vet procedure and nursing school, both which she paid back. She just doesn’t like sister in law and doesn’t have the gall to admit it
Lending your sister money is an issue for your wife because, despite having separate accounts, she sees your money as her money and doesn't like you "giving her money away". In her mind, any money you send to your sister is money you can't spend on her. You, my friend, married a gold-digger without realising it -- she's the hard to detect type of gold-digger who plays the long game.
Last story: The bracelet is a GIFT. Even if you dont like it, you dont go around disparaging it, and the giver (which is worse), to a family member of the giver. How stupid and entitled! The OPs son would be a complete idiot for marrying someone who so blatantly disrespects his mother.
If every bride wears it then it's more of a loan. It certainly doesn't scream "I'm happy to be joining your family" if you are disparaging traditions and one of (if not) the matriarch(s) of the family. You don't get to be a mean girl and say nasty things and then play the victim when you are rightfully called out for your awful behavior. It sounds like DIL will be nothing but trouble to the family and perhaps is already starting to alienate and isolate the son if she is causing problems and expecting him to stand by her instead of the actual victims.
Agreed. And that commenter saying OPs sister "tattled" to their mom? Sis didn't tattle. These are not 5 yo fighting over crayons. She informed her mother that OPs gf was complaining and talking mad 💩 about OP and the gift!
Re wife who hates OP's sister. He needs to make it clear that wife stops opening his packages, stops insulting his sister and gets therapy or he throws her out. Last story: OP should NOT think potential DIL is family. Son is the jerk.
Re child free siblings being more available and should be taking the slack up for the parents. It happens traveling in business too. Married people think only singles should go out of town! Forgetting that a single has no one mowing the yard and all the hundred things that at least some get done with a spouse home.
The birthday gift story. Op is NTA. He should also send his packages to his sister's place (and pay her a small fee ) because wifey can't keep her hands off other people's stuff. He should probably also get a safe for his personal papers and valuables and NOT let wifey have access. He may want to keep his keys on him even in the bathroom. If you've ever lived with someone that nosy, you know why.
I sure would tell my mother with my big self. If she could allow her grown self to tell the sister that she doesn’t like the family bracelet that their mother gave her to wear on her wedding day then, yup give it back. She could have kept that to herself or even just told her future husband. And it probably was better for the mother to go get it than the sister.
@@natashahenry5044 I'd tell my mother too, aint no way some witch is gonna disrespect my mother after giving her a family heirloom and welcoming her into the family. The audacity of that woman and the commenter, sheesh.
3rd story... Op isn't "punishing" his sister for canceling last minute. He's not accommodating her last minute demands, because he asked for two weeks notice so he can arrange his schedule.
Reddit is not a single person and you seem to not have listened to the first comment. Also, there was much more then two comments. By the way, noone is stopping you from posting on reddit. So don't only talk, do something!
@uwetheiss970 Hey smartass, they’re talking about how 2/3 of the comments are batshit insane and practically infantilizing the wife bc she can't act like an adult and not open packages that ain't hers. The other commenter is absolutely right, posting a comment on Reddit won't do jackshit. They're just voicing their opinion in YT comment sections, it's not a call to action lmfao
@@uwetheiss970firstly I wasn’t referring to the first commenter. That part should’ve been very very obvious. Secondly I know that it’s more than “just these two comments” because I’ve been on Reddit for about 6 years. It’s been a hive mind for quite a while. There were way more comments bending over backwards to Try and call OP TA. I would know…I went to the post to see. So maybe you should follow your own advice yea?
Canceling Ladt Minute on Babysitting: Be more understanding. Is this a joke? OP was very understanding. It is time her sister and parents to be understanding and realize that OP is not available the following weekend. She changed her work schedule for the weekend in which she was blown off by her sister. NOPE!
Okay to the person that criticize her daughter for tattling. If someone was talking bad about my mother I would say it to her too. And if you can't say it to my face don't say it behind my back. And you know what I don't blame you for taking it back. Your daughter-in-law just found out please stupid games in this case she lost a prize. Why is she upset, she didn't like it it was ugly you were controlling by making her take it. So what is she bitching about. It actually your son should be neutral. Cuz you did nothing but stand up for yourself and your family.
THIS. Don't say anything behind my back you can't say to my face. I don't behave like that and I expect the same respect. I get venting about someone, but not gossiping, being nasty or spreading lies. Only cowards do that. Mean what you say and stand by it.
S1. NTA. The sister is something else. She can buy her own things. S2. NTA. Take the job and live your life. If he goes fine, and if he doesn't fine. Heirloom story. NTA. The soon to be dil sounds ridiculous. If she is complaining about it, why is she throwing a fit about giving it back. Good for the daughter.
At least 1 Redditor is going reach for the stars in an effort to opposite of what everyone else thinks. So this woman's daughter should not have told her own mom that she was being talked about and the DIL finds the bracelet ugly is wrong for taking it back and they have to " fix it" why?? People think they way more important than they really are
Story 3: You are not "punishing" anybody. Your sister asked you to babysit earlier and you used your off time to accommodate that, you are not her on call childcare, and most likely don't have the ability to request more days off.
I genuinely can't understand wanting everything to be brand new for each baby you have. Even if it's your first, I tried to get as much as I could on sale or used. When I had my twins after, my daughter went around with shirts with "boy" all over them from her brother's hand-me-downs. She grew so fast I wasn't going to spend hundreds on new clothes for her. Even now, I always buy a size up so it will last a little bit longer. Last story, good luck to the husband with that wife. My in-laws bought me a brand new necklace for my wedding because it was their tradition. It was a gold phoenix, and I hate wearing gold, the thing was so ugly. I wore to make them happy, put it in the box and haven't touched it since.
1 - NTA. Your sister is being totally unreasonable. She's hanging around your daughter's room like a vulture. That's a room she actively uses, she's not even after the nursery items. Good grief. She's not even hard up on money. If she calls you a witch, just call her cheap!
I don’t care how ugly a family heirloom is, if you marry into a family and give you an heirloom piece of jewelry wear it! Wear it on special occasions, or at family functions. Wear the crap out of. Make an outfit for it. Be gracious.
Last story, no they're not the idiot, why the heck would the soon to be daughter-in-law want the bracelet when they thought it was ugly and why would they still want it when they said the mother was controlling because of it? Gaslight much?
S2 JUST BREAK UP JFC this gave me a headache to think about. Literally tells her the dog is more important then her and she's asking reddit if she's wrong. Yeesh. S3 boo hoo. NTA and revoke all offers to babysit.
S2, the relationship was over when she didn’t understand his wanting to live within reasonable distance of his parents. There is nothing wrong with that. They have 2 different views of family and what they want in life. They aren’t compatible. The boyfriend isn’t the problem, he shouldn’t be faulted for what he wants.
Story #4: NTA! I would have canceled the party too!! Why was your wife going through your text? She goes through your packages too! I'd invest in a safe to put your documents in!
Last story. Future DIL is trouble. First, she doesn't want the bracelet, doesn't want to wear it and calls future MIL controlling. MIL takes the bracelet back, problem solved, DIL doesn't have to wear it and MIL is no longer controlling. Now future DIL is upset she took the bracelet back. No pleasing that one.
"Things come up when you're a parent." Yeah, like illness... but sis canceled because she changed HER plans, not because the kids were sick or injured....
No kidding. "You should have told her immediately that it was her gift!" Um, he kind of did as soon as she started complaining about him sending stuff to his sister. And of course, she gets a pass for calling the sister a leech, even though she pays everything back. Make sense, commenter!
@@sc-bj2fsNope. It’s called the wife finally getting consequences for her terrible behavior. She opens packages, even ones not meant for her, snoops through her husband’s phone, and tries to control his finances even though his occasional decision to loan his sister money that she has paid back and that has enabled her to finish her education and land a good job as a nurse in a hospital. I don’t blame OP - this incident was the last straw in a history of living with the wife’s controlling, toxic behavior. I hope OP will tell he they need couples’ counseling and if she refuses to go, he should consider leaving, especially since that’s exactly what everyone would tell OP if he were a woman and the controlling spouse were her husband. In fact, they’d probably say to skip the marriage counseling and go straight to “Divorce him, Queen, NOW! He’s throwing up so many red flags and you’re not safe with him! His behavior is only going to escalate until he becomes violent! Leave him now reeeeeeeeeeeeee!”
@@sc-bj2fsI don’t think he was spiteful, I think he was fed up. He says that this has been a long pattern of behavior. The proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back.
Story 1: she want to steal from her niece’s room, and OP is selfish? Note when she went to b**** to mom, she made sure not to mention that part. So she’s fully aware of how Ludacris that idea is, and would just trying to guilt trip her sister ransacking her daughter’s room. OP should probably take a break from her for a little while.
Birthday Story: NTA and that one commenter clearly didn't read. There was no "gotcha" moment. The wife saw a text sent to OP from his sister and without knowing the context IMMEDIATELY started ranting about the sister, calling her names, and being an all around cunt. OP had enough and dropped the bomb that his sister was holding onto what would have been the wife's presents (since she lacks the ability to leave things that aren't addressed to her alone). Wife finally got dealt a punishment equal to the childish tantrum she threw: everything got taken away. And if the sister pays back the loaned money she asked for, then she's not taking advantage of OP nor is she endangering his and his wife's lifestyle. It comes from his separate funds and gets paid back so it's none of the wife's business. Honestly the wife sounds controlling af and has displayed a toxic attitude, so OP needs to consider if being married to her is worth it.
Last comment is so wild. "He should be taking his wifes side" no he souldnt. My husband should tell me when im wrong. I dont want a yes man, i want a partner. And further its insane to act like just because hes married his mother ceases to be family. If you want to break off from your "old" family and be completely your own independent family... well yeah donr expect to be in the family, that you dont wanna be a part of, traditions!
She routinely opens packages addressed to him She gets mad how he spends his personal funds, no matter the fact that it doesn't affect her And seemingly also snoops on his phone or at the very least looks when he gets a text Wife isn't looking great here. If we take what op says as the full truth, which without the other side of the story we have to, his wife is such an a.
2 - NAH. It sounds like this relationship has run its course. You're unhappy and his reasons for shutting down your opportunities are entirely self-motivated. The dog IS a dumb reason to hold you back. It sounds like you two both want different things. Break up before it starts getting toxic.
Last story .. OP is NTA ... DIL " I think the branclet is ugly and I will never wear it but .. I also wont give it back because you gave it to me so im going to act like a spoiled brat (It's mine... mine mine mine Waaahhh)
Last story, who would allow anyone to talk about their mother, in their face, and not react? Even if they dont have a good relationship apparently it's decent enough that they still come around. Then the part when everyone is jumping on the mom, if the girl doesn't want to wear it and has so much to say why would she be able to keep it?
Nta. Sister needs to buy her own baby's stuff. Your daughters room isnt her shopping center. She is stealing from a child. Go get your daughters stuff back. If she comes and trues it again. Have her arrested for theft
The nerve to ask for your daughter's stuff. Say know my daughter's using those. You can do what we did. Go out and buy your own stuff for your own child. If my sister the nerve to say that to me. I would have asked her what the f is wrong with you. You cannot afford a big family period don't have kids if you can't afford them period
Last story NTA How is OP SUPPOESED to take it? She made personal insults about OP being controlling and insulted THEIR ENTIRE FAMILY TRADITION!!!! Like dude, NO ONE rejected herr from the family. SHE rejected the family. People think talking mad shit doesn't reap consequences like hurting people's feelings protects you from them because.... why? "WAHHHH! I was being ungrateful and mean, but WAHHHHH everyone is BuLlYiNg me cause of thins I FUCKING SIAD"
Nta. She shouldn't wear it. She has expressed complete disdain for it. She is only doing this bs so she can cause tension and rifts it the family. If she gets to keep the bracelet, i bet it ends up going missing or gets broken.
Why is future DIL mad? She said the bracelet was ugly, now she doesn’t have to deal with it. Everyone with a brain knows you don’t tell the in-laws your secrets. She is surprised the sister “tattled” how naive is she? You will never be real family to an in law. Don’t be bitter but grow and be glad you know exactly who the in laws are.
The future DIL deliberately created discord between her future husband and his family. A typical behavior for controlling abusers. Good luck to the new husband. He'll need it.
Yeah, that second story is sad. The boyfriend encouraged her to apply for the job- probably hoping she wouldn’t get it- but everything since then seems to be “we can work it out” by which he means every “compromise” will involve doing exactly what he wants.
Story 1: It’s hilarious how much of a hypocritical, spoiled brat Op’s sister is😂 “hey give me the stuff out of your daughters room cause i’ll have more kids than you and will need to save more money. Oh and you’re a greedy witch for not giving me them” 😂😂 The hypocrisy is real, NTA Op
Story 2: It isn't about the dog, he just doesn't want to move and that's ok. You will resent him if you stay but I'm inclined to think that if this is the only issue you will come to regret the decision to leave. Either way, the relationship will be done.
Why do people get married to such rude people like in the last story? I’d be falling for a break up in no time if my partner was never disrespectful to my parents like that. I guess the son is so pussy whipped that He disregards all rude behavior of his partner. And that last comment obviously did not read a thing. So help me I will never understand why do people get married to these mean narcissists.
Last story: If the DIL didn"t want to wear the bracelet then SHE should have said something then and not try to go through the daughter. What was she thinking or was this her plan all along. She didn't have the nerve to talk to MIL so, she knew the daughter would say something so decided to tell instead knowing it would eventually get back to future MIL. Good riddens, I wouldn't that mess in my family either. Why didn't the daughter just cuss the heffa out and be done with her.m
Story 4: NTA. And comment are ridiculous. So, she's not a child? but should be able to throw tantrums and be coddled like one? I don't need two guesses about the commenters.
You're not TA, even if you cancelled on your sister last minute (like she did to you), you wouldn't be TA. She set the bar, you're not TA for sticking to it. Cancelling because one of the kids is suddenly projectile vomiting is valid, cancelling because "oops, the resort is child friendly" isn't.
And with the hoops OP jumped through to make himself available, sister just screwed OP over. And if he has an emergency of his own, he may have trouble getting time off when he really needs it. The sister is a selfish, inconsiderate flake!
OP needs to take the job. Doggo is important, but BF the issue, not his senior dog. He's ready to settle down and wants kids and a support system, she's still getting started. This is why you don't marry younger or older, you are not going to be at the same points in your lives
I'd wager money on that final comment of the video that it is the future daughter-in-law who found the account and is now trying to get back at her anonymously, somehow. No intelligent person would say you the AH. 🤦♂️
Story 1: NTA, but are you sure they are well off? Because this sounds like a jealous poor sister lashing out. Like is her husband financially ab^sive, or do they live a super expensive lifestyle and not want to sacrifice anything to afford the baby stuff?
The last story: Op you are NTA. Your DIL is two-faced and manipulative. When she got caught probably trying to test her boundaries to see if she could get your daughter to turn on you, like your son has, it backfired. But I must say, when caught, your DIL played a different victim game, which proved how wrapped your son is around her little finger. Consider it a flex or power play.
“Let her think your sister is taking advantage of you again.” I swear, people are becoming more and more self-centered. Hyper individualism is a poison. It is NOT “being taken advantage of” to help your own effing sister financially when there are emergencies!!! I can’t believe that even needs to be said.
The comments in the story about the Amazon to sister thing is so typically a Reddit anti male situation. If the roles were reversed it would have been more of the same ..the guy is wrong leave him!
So since when is it okay to insult somebody call them controlling an a-hole and then proceed to get mad that the person that you are treating like literal garbage doesn't want to treat you like family you don't get to be a raging dumpster fire to somebody and then expect them to accept you with open arms as if you didn't just set them on fire it's almost like our words and our actions have consequences and maybe we should be more conscious of the things that we say especially when you're talking to somebody about their mother so the daughter-in-law decides to Trash Talk the mom to her daughter and then think that the daughter is not going to then go back to her mom and be like so and so is trash-talking you about our family traditions absolutely not and honestly she doesn't deserve to be part of this family if this is how she's going to behave
Story #2: TAKE THE JOB!! Notice everybody is telling you to not leave him and you're over reacting! Ask yourself, why is it the woman that's expected to give up her career and life goals?? Let him keep his dog!! I got a feeling that he's just using the poor thing as a excuse. It may be a two legged dog he wants to stay for!
Story 2: Time to end this relationship. This is exactly why it is a bad idea to date a much older man when you are 18-25. Accept your job move across the country and when ready and settled start dating someone new, who really supports you, not someone who will say they support you hoping that you don't get the job.
And then call OPs mommy when OP won’t let him win. Let’s face it. Someone called OPs mom and it doesn’t sound like it was her. The bf tried to use her against OP
Wow that commenter hates men and it shows! It’s not her money so it’s completely NONE OF HER BUSINESS BECAUSE IT’S SEPARATE FOR JOINT ACCOUNTS! She tries to control her husband and he caught on and it backfired on her. He is ok for this but they need to divorce because this marriage won’t last with a controlling snooping wife…
Mil asked daughter in law to wear it at some point at the wedding as a tradition. How is that insisting ? Or unreasonable. There needs to be a family meeting with DIL tomdiscuss it all and why the heirloom was taken back. They need to clear the air and start over if they are to ever get it sorted.
No, it wasn't even OP punishing the kids because of the sister. The sister Only gave a weeks notice for the second weekend, when clearly OP said she'd need two weeks notice. Open your ears Internet
S1.NTA. I am so sick of ppl having kids, KNOWING they're expensive and expecting everyone to "help" them. If you can't afford something, babies included, then you can't afford it! Sis is clearly selfish, stupid and greedy. Not good parent material 😕 S2.NTA! Never give up a career for a relationship. Personal safety should always be a your #1 priority.
Last story NTA) If the DIL wants to be included in the family why be a witch about a gift that the family shares. NTA I pray you don’t like to commenters that are just as big of an idiot as the soon to be DIL.
S1: Geez, I at first thought sister was poor!! But NO, shes just a selfish snot!! S4: My husband used to give money to one of his sisters also; she was just a mooch. It drove me crazy, but it was his money: however i did tell him I hated that the only time sister reached out to him was to ask for money, time after time.. He knew it was true, so hed stop telling me he gave it to her; but I knew he still did.. I think canceling her bday party was a AH move though.
Story 1: OPs sister isn’t as well off as she thinks her sister is. Otherwise she wouldn’t be doing that. Me thinks they were keeping up with the Jones’s type ppl
A good man wouldn't be pressuring you not to take the job, and blaming it on the dog. He needs to get on board, his parents can come and visit. He just doesn't want to move, and didn't think you'd get the job. It's easy to make promises and "be supportive" when it doesn't actually cost you anything. Besides, it's pretty clear he didn't think you'd actually get the job. *eye roll* Your career should not be second fiddle to a dog.
I don't agree with cancelling everything for her birthday but I also don't agree with her trying to control your finances when you do not have shared finances. Set boundaries because your response came off more like a tantrum. Set very firm boundaries and tell her to get back in her lane. Otherwise, you want to be able to have a say in how she spends her money.
The Bracelet Story: Your daughter in law called you controlling and your gift ugly. Yet, some redditors think you need to fix this because YTA. The level of mental gymnastics here in mind boggling.
Is OP supposed to exchange the bracelet for another heirloom? And how would the other family feel knowing she got a choice and they didn’t?
That's what I don't understand! She called her controlling for giving her the bracelet, then when op says fine you don't have to wear it she throws another fit and says you're not accepting me?!? 🤦🤦🤦 I'd wash my hands of the whole mess and tell my son I love you and will be waiting on the other side of this train wreck for you
An eye for I will make a whole world Blind. so the relationship breaks down, and people eventually go no contact, all four a tradition to please mostly dead people. as for selling it on, that is literally what an asset is therefore, to keep you afloat during times of strife. sentimentality is a funny thing with some people, I'd rather starve and keep hold of this heirloom than sell it on 😂
@@blindbrad4719 Oh, shut up!
Girl shows up to raid a child’s room and has the gall to call the mother of the child she’s stealing from greedy…
OMG right?? Covetous much??? She’s been eyeballing that bedroom set since it got put in, now thinks she’s entitled to it because why? Because she wants it. LMAO. Get the heck out of here
@@lianav707yeah, I would keep a close eye on her everytime she's over or little things from your daughters room might start disappearing.
The utter gall of the greedy green eyed monster proclaiming greed on those who worked for and bought their own stuff.
I think we've done several generations a disservice by teaching that they must share-- which is mostly something done to stop the greediest most covetous child from screaming for things that don't belong to them so the adults won't be bothered. Lazy and short- sighted. It's one thing to have the kids share a game console you paid for, but another to just give your loudest child everything that belongs to their siblings because they demand it. They turn into terrible adults AND their siblings will resent them and the parent because the goblin gets what they want.
@@annana6098exactly this. Lazy parents raise monsters that they unleash upon society and then they're everyone's problem.
She took it personally??? Of course she did, she was talking crap about her! That last redditor is delusional.
Since she considers it controlling and the jewelry ugly, she shouldn't have a problem with giving it back. I wouldn't consider her family either.
That last commenter has the reading comprehension of a squirrel.
No, I think squirrels are more intelligent than that last commentor
@@Symphonia30 yup
That’s very disrespectful…to squirrels.
My deepest apologies, to the squirrels, they did not deserve that
I just kept thinking of Johnny Depp's Wonka saying 'Don't touch that squirrel's nuts!' 😂
That last YTA comment is wild. If you're going to crap on family traditions, yeah, you aren't going to be considered family.
If you're going to talk crap about the person giving it to you also, then you don't deserve it either.
Yeah I want to know who made that comment. Just so I can ask them what drugs they were on when they wrote that. I want some 😂
Story 1: why is it the greediest people always accuse everyone else of being greedy… answer: projection.
Thank you. On another note, I hope OP sister doesn’t have access to a key at their place.
This and being selfish. Never will understand this.
All the effing time. Don't forget "you are selfish" and "it's not a big deal" among others.
@@ifynwammaoh yeah. It's never a big deal until it's their stuff, then it's the biggest, most over the top dramatic thing ever.
Same reason why cheaters are some of the most jealous people. Projection.
Birthday present: So OP's wife checks his mail, checks his phone, doesn't like his sister because he loans her money that sister pays back, and decided to throw a tantrum because of her assumption. NTA. She's sounds controlling and toxic.
Heirloom bracelet: What part of FDIL insulting OP and the family heirloom bracelet wasn't personal? It's controlling to give her the bracelet and exclusionary to take it back. OP can't win with this entitled brat. I wouldn't want her as part of my family either. NTA.
Birthday story: his wife has all these red flags yet people still had the gall to call OP the AH. One had the nerve to call the sister a mooch even though she always pays OP back and she doesn’t ask of OP often.
@@lorilancaster5917Probably because those commenters also have the same red flags flying
Jeez!! Thank you I’m like WTF! On both of those and you said exactly what I was thinking. The thought process on some folk ceases to baffle me🙄
@@lorilancaster5917exactly I knew it was a personal attack when wife called sister a mooch. The 2 examples he gave was not mooch like behavior emergency vet procedure and nursing school, both which she paid back.
She just doesn’t like sister in law and doesn’t have the gall to admit it
Lending your sister money is an issue for your wife because, despite having separate accounts, she sees your money as her money and doesn't like you "giving her money away". In her mind, any money you send to your sister is money you can't spend on her. You, my friend, married a gold-digger without realising it -- she's the hard to detect type of gold-digger who plays the long game.
Last story: The bracelet is a GIFT. Even if you dont like it, you dont go around disparaging it, and the giver (which is worse), to a family member of the giver. How stupid and entitled! The OPs son would be a complete idiot for marrying someone who so blatantly disrespects his mother.
If every bride wears it then it's more of a loan. It certainly doesn't scream "I'm happy to be joining your family" if you are disparaging traditions and one of (if not) the matriarch(s) of the family. You don't get to be a mean girl and say nasty things and then play the victim when you are rightfully called out for your awful behavior. It sounds like DIL will be nothing but trouble to the family and perhaps is already starting to alienate and isolate the son if she is causing problems and expecting him to stand by her instead of the actual victims.
Agreed. And that commenter saying OPs sister "tattled" to their mom? Sis didn't tattle. These are not 5 yo fighting over crayons. She informed her mother that OPs gf was complaining and talking mad 💩 about OP and the gift!
That last yta on the birthday one was needed a privilege check to remember not everyone lives in the big city where amazon lockers exist
Re wife who hates OP's sister. He needs to make it clear that wife stops opening his packages, stops insulting his sister and gets therapy or he throws her out.
Last story: OP should NOT think potential DIL is family. Son is the jerk.
Re child free siblings being more available and should be taking the slack up for the parents. It happens traveling in business too. Married people think only singles should go out of town! Forgetting that a single has no one mowing the yard and all the hundred things that at least some get done with a spouse home.
The birthday gift story. Op is NTA. He should also send his packages to his sister's place (and pay her a small fee ) because wifey can't keep her hands off other people's stuff. He should probably also get a safe for his personal papers and valuables and NOT let wifey have access. He may want to keep his keys on him even in the bathroom. If you've ever lived with someone that nosy, you know why.
I would be consulting a divorce lawyer.
Story 1 Sil: “nice room, I think I’ll take it.”
The last “YTA” commenter is the ideal chronically online Redditor.
Right? Shouldn't the fdil be relieved she doesn't have to wear the "ugly" bracelet anymore?
Or just a generally bad person.
I sure would tell my mother with my big self. If she could allow her grown self to tell the sister that she doesn’t like the family bracelet that their mother gave her to wear on her wedding day then, yup give it back. She could have kept that to herself or even just told her future husband. And it probably was better for the mother to go get it than the sister.
Really makes me wonder how does little kids have that are reading skills than these Redditors?
@@natashahenry5044 I'd tell my mother too, aint no way some witch is gonna disrespect my mother after giving her a family heirloom and welcoming her into the family. The audacity of that woman and the commenter, sheesh.
3rd story... Op isn't "punishing" his sister for canceling last minute. He's not accommodating her last minute demands, because he asked for two weeks notice so he can arrange his schedule.
Birthday story: I swear Reddit will bend over backwards to find a man to be TA
Reddit is not a single person and you seem to not have listened to the first comment. Also, there was much more then two comments. By the way, noone is stopping you from posting on reddit. So don't only talk, do something!
@@uwetheiss970 It won't make a difference. Once Redditors get an idea or missing missing convo started, it's a wrap.
@@marjoriethomas1681 You don't get it. You can be a Redditor too. Don't just complain. Act!
@uwetheiss970 Hey smartass, they’re talking about how 2/3 of the comments are batshit insane and practically infantilizing the wife bc she can't act like an adult and not open packages that ain't hers.
The other commenter is absolutely right, posting a comment on Reddit won't do jackshit. They're just voicing their opinion in YT comment sections, it's not a call to action lmfao
@@uwetheiss970firstly I wasn’t referring to the first commenter. That part should’ve been very very obvious. Secondly I know that it’s more than “just these two comments” because I’ve been on Reddit for about 6 years. It’s been a hive mind for quite a while. There were way more comments bending over backwards to Try and call OP TA. I would know…I went to the post to see. So maybe you should follow your own advice yea?
Canceling Ladt Minute on Babysitting: Be more understanding. Is this a joke? OP was very understanding. It is time her sister and parents to be understanding and realize that OP is not available the following weekend. She changed her work schedule for the weekend in which she was blown off by her sister. NOPE!
And I hope OP never rearranges his schedule for them until the sincerely apologize
She lost money for the unpaid job of being the babysitter. This SIL is a real peach.
@@mbyerly9680sister, not SIL
@@nannettepolcastro4799 And the OP is a guy, brother to the flakey sister
Okay to the person that criticize her daughter for tattling. If someone was talking bad about my mother I would say it to her too. And if you can't say it to my face don't say it behind my back. And you know what I don't blame you for taking it back. Your daughter-in-law just found out please stupid games in this case she lost a prize. Why is she upset, she didn't like it it was ugly you were controlling by making her take it. So what is she bitching about. It actually your son should be neutral. Cuz you did nothing but stand up for yourself and your family.
THIS. Don't say anything behind my back you can't say to my face. I don't behave like that and I expect the same respect. I get venting about someone, but not gossiping, being nasty or spreading lies. Only cowards do that. Mean what you say and stand by it.
S1. NTA. The sister is something else. She can buy her own things.
S2. NTA. Take the job and live your life. If he goes fine, and if he doesn't fine.
Heirloom story. NTA. The soon to be dil sounds ridiculous. If she is complaining about it, why is she throwing a fit about giving it back. Good for the daughter.
At least 1 Redditor is going reach for the stars in an effort to opposite of what everyone else thinks. So this woman's daughter should not have told her own mom that she was being talked about and the DIL finds the bracelet ugly is wrong for taking it back and they have to " fix it" why?? People think they way more important than they really are
Story 3: You are not "punishing" anybody. Your sister asked you to babysit earlier and you used your off time to accommodate that, you are not her on call childcare, and most likely don't have the ability to request more days off.
Yeah. S1 and S3 sisters would be great selfish friends to each other😂
I genuinely can't understand wanting everything to be brand new for each baby you have. Even if it's your first, I tried to get as much as I could on sale or used. When I had my twins after, my daughter went around with shirts with "boy" all over them from her brother's hand-me-downs. She grew so fast I wasn't going to spend hundreds on new clothes for her. Even now, I always buy a size up so it will last a little bit longer.
Last story, good luck to the husband with that wife. My in-laws bought me a brand new necklace for my wedding because it was their tradition. It was a gold phoenix, and I hate wearing gold, the thing was so ugly. I wore to make them happy, put it in the box and haven't touched it since.
1 - NTA. Your sister is being totally unreasonable. She's hanging around your daughter's room like a vulture. That's a room she actively uses, she's not even after the nursery items. Good grief. She's not even hard up on money. If she calls you a witch, just call her cheap!
I don’t care how ugly a family heirloom is, if you marry into a family and give you an heirloom piece of jewelry wear it! Wear it on special occasions, or at family functions. Wear the crap out of. Make an outfit for it. Be gracious.
Meh, she can throw herself a party. She'll just have to pay for it.
Last story, no they're not the idiot, why the heck would the soon to be daughter-in-law want the bracelet when they thought it was ugly and why would they still want it when they said the mother was controlling because of it? Gaslight much?
S2 JUST BREAK UP JFC this gave me a headache to think about. Literally tells her the dog is more important then her and she's asking reddit if she's wrong. Yeesh.
S3 boo hoo. NTA and revoke all offers to babysit.
S2, the relationship was over when she didn’t understand his wanting to live within reasonable distance of his parents. There is nothing wrong with that. They have 2 different views of family and what they want in life. They aren’t compatible. The boyfriend isn’t the problem, he shouldn’t be faulted for what he wants.
Story #4: NTA! I would have canceled the party too!! Why was your wife going through your text? She goes through your packages too! I'd invest in a safe to put your documents in!
Last story. Future DIL is trouble. First, she doesn't want the bracelet, doesn't want to wear it and calls future MIL controlling. MIL takes the bracelet back, problem solved, DIL doesn't have to wear it and MIL is no longer controlling. Now future DIL is upset she took the bracelet back. No pleasing that one.
She is trying to isolate the new husband from his family.
"Things come up when you're a parent."
Yeah, like illness... but sis canceled because she changed HER plans, not because the kids were sick or injured....
The wife is a clear TA. Yet people attack the husband. Reddit is the worst
No kidding. "You should have told her immediately that it was her gift!" Um, he kind of did as soon as she started complaining about him sending stuff to his sister. And of course, she gets a pass for calling the sister a leech, even though she pays everything back. Make sense, commenter!
Yeah. She was clearly in the wrong. She seems a delight to be around /s
They both were wrong.. He was spiteful!
@@sc-bj2fsNope. It’s called the wife finally getting consequences for her terrible behavior. She opens packages, even ones not meant for her, snoops through her husband’s phone, and tries to control his finances even though his occasional decision to loan his sister money that she has paid back and that has enabled her to finish her education and land a good job as a nurse in a hospital. I don’t blame OP - this incident was the last straw in a history of living with the wife’s controlling, toxic behavior.
I hope OP will tell he they need couples’ counseling and if she refuses to go, he should consider leaving, especially since that’s exactly what everyone would tell OP if he were a woman and the controlling spouse were her husband. In fact, they’d probably say to skip the marriage counseling and go straight to “Divorce him, Queen, NOW! He’s throwing up so many red flags and you’re not safe with him! His behavior is only going to escalate until he becomes violent! Leave him now reeeeeeeeeeeeee!”
@@sc-bj2fsI don’t think he was spiteful, I think he was fed up. He says that this has been a long pattern of behavior. The proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back.
Story 1: she want to steal from her niece’s room, and OP is selfish? Note when she went to b**** to mom, she made sure not to mention that part. So she’s fully aware of how Ludacris that idea is, and would just trying to guilt trip her sister ransacking her daughter’s room. OP should probably take a break from her for a little while.
I would go NC until I got a full apology and even then be LC as I would not want a thief in my house.
Birthday Story: NTA and that one commenter clearly didn't read. There was no "gotcha" moment. The wife saw a text sent to OP from his sister and without knowing the context IMMEDIATELY started ranting about the sister, calling her names, and being an all around cunt. OP had enough and dropped the bomb that his sister was holding onto what would have been the wife's presents (since she lacks the ability to leave things that aren't addressed to her alone). Wife finally got dealt a punishment equal to the childish tantrum she threw: everything got taken away. And if the sister pays back the loaned money she asked for, then she's not taking advantage of OP nor is she endangering his and his wife's lifestyle. It comes from his separate funds and gets paid back so it's none of the wife's business. Honestly the wife sounds controlling af and has displayed a toxic attitude, so OP needs to consider if being married to her is worth it.
2nd story - you want different things, so just split up. You can't work this out.
OP called it in the beginning of the story. Instead of facing the facts like OP did, the bf expects OP to conform.
@@lorilancaster5917And so does OP'S family! They're disparaging her for choosing a career over a guy
1. Story:
OP is not seeing how entitled her sister is, thats all OP is missing here
Last comment is so wild. "He should be taking his wifes side" no he souldnt. My husband should tell me when im wrong. I dont want a yes man, i want a partner.
And further its insane to act like just because hes married his mother ceases to be family. If you want to break off from your "old" family and be completely your own independent family... well yeah donr expect to be in the family, that you dont wanna be a part of, traditions!
Nta in Amazon package story. Just wow
She routinely opens packages addressed to him
She gets mad how he spends his personal funds, no matter the fact that it doesn't affect her
And seemingly also snoops on his phone or at the very least looks when he gets a text
Wife isn't looking great here. If we take what op says as the full truth, which without the other side of the story we have to, his wife is such an a.
2 - NAH. It sounds like this relationship has run its course. You're unhappy and his reasons for shutting down your opportunities are entirely self-motivated. The dog IS a dumb reason to hold you back. It sounds like you two both want different things. Break up before it starts getting toxic.
Last story .. OP is NTA ... DIL " I think the branclet is ugly and I will never wear it but .. I also wont give it back because you gave it to me so im going to act like a spoiled brat (It's mine... mine mine mine Waaahhh)
That last commenter sounds demented and a threat to society
Last story, who would allow anyone to talk about their mother, in their face, and not react? Even if they dont have a good relationship apparently it's decent enough that they still come around. Then the part when everyone is jumping on the mom, if the girl doesn't want to wear it and has so much to say why would she be able to keep it?
Nta. Sister needs to buy her own baby's stuff. Your daughters room isnt her shopping center. She is stealing from a child. Go get your daughters stuff back. If she comes and trues it again. Have her arrested for theft
12:25 assumption that sister is taking advantage. Which is exactly what the wife is doing
The nerve to ask for your daughter's stuff. Say know my daughter's using those. You can do what we did. Go out and buy your own stuff for your own child. If my sister the nerve to say that to me. I would have asked her what the f is wrong with you. You cannot afford a big family period don't have kids if you can't afford them period
Story 4: NTA. Wife is an ungrateful, inconsiderate B. Oh and wife has plenty of boundaries, she just doesn't respect anyone else's.
Last story NTA
How is OP SUPPOESED to take it? She made personal insults about OP being controlling and insulted THEIR ENTIRE FAMILY TRADITION!!!!
Like dude, NO ONE rejected herr from the family. SHE rejected the family.
People think talking mad shit doesn't reap consequences like hurting people's feelings protects you from them because.... why?
"WAHHHH! I was being ungrateful and mean, but WAHHHHH everyone is BuLlYiNg me cause of thins I FUCKING SIAD"
Birthday story OP is NTA and those commenters definitely are AH
Story 3: NTA and op isn’t at fault .
Story 4: NTA and the wife is a pathetic grouch
Nta. She shouldn't wear it. She has expressed complete disdain for it. She is only doing this bs so she can cause tension and rifts it the family. If she gets to keep the bracelet, i bet it ends up going missing or gets broken.
Story 1: NTA, story 2: NTA and tell your boyfriend to leave
Why is future DIL mad? She said the bracelet was ugly, now she doesn’t have to deal with it. Everyone with a brain knows you don’t tell the in-laws your secrets. She is surprised the sister “tattled” how naive is she? You will never be real family to an in law. Don’t be bitter but grow and be glad you know exactly who the in laws are.
The future DIL deliberately created discord between her future husband and his family. A typical behavior for controlling abusers. Good luck to the new husband. He'll need it.
Yeah, that second story is sad. The boyfriend encouraged her to apply for the job- probably hoping she wouldn’t get it- but everything since then seems to be “we can work it out” by which he means every “compromise” will involve doing exactly what he wants.
And her parents shamed her for choosing her career over him.
@ I was thinking the same. They and boyfriend both seem to have the default setting of “wife trails after husband.”
DIL could still be planning to wear it anyway despite hating it.
Op is still NTA though.
Story 1: It’s hilarious how much of a hypocritical, spoiled brat Op’s sister is😂
“hey give me the stuff out of your daughters room cause i’ll have more kids than you and will need to save more money. Oh and you’re a greedy witch for not giving me them” 😂😂
The hypocrisy is real, NTA Op
Story 2: It isn't about the dog, he just doesn't want to move and that's ok. You will resent him if you stay but I'm inclined to think that if this is the only issue you will come to regret the decision to leave. Either way, the relationship will be done.
I’m thinking there has to be more. For instance, OPs mom calls her about the issue. OP doesn’t have a good relationship with her family. Who told?
Why do people get married to such rude people like in the last story? I’d be falling for a break up in no time if my partner was never disrespectful to my parents like that. I guess the son is so pussy whipped that He disregards all rude behavior of his partner. And that last comment obviously did not read a thing. So help me I will never understand why do people get married to these mean narcissists.
Last story: If the DIL didn"t want to wear the bracelet then SHE should have said something then and not try to go through the daughter. What was she thinking or was this her plan all along. She didn't have the nerve to talk to MIL so, she knew the daughter would say something so decided to tell instead knowing it would eventually get back to future MIL. Good riddens, I wouldn't that mess in my family either. Why didn't the daughter just cuss the heffa out and be done with her.m
Story 4: NTA. And comment are ridiculous. So, she's not a child? but should be able to throw tantrums and be coddled like one? I don't need two guesses about the commenters.
Crazy Pregnant Sister: Tone down your greed!
If OP was me: Tone down your begging and get a grip on reality.
How is it greed to want to keep what you already own???
@@TailsFan Exactly!
The last story of course she took it personal. It was meant personal. She is not the idiot.
S1: I don't get the sister. It's like she thinks she'll pop-out a 3 year old and wishes to decorate accordingly.
You're not TA, even if you cancelled on your sister last minute (like she did to you), you wouldn't be TA. She set the bar, you're not TA for sticking to it.
Cancelling because one of the kids is suddenly projectile vomiting is valid, cancelling because "oops, the resort is child friendly" isn't.
And with the hoops OP jumped through to make himself available, sister just screwed OP over. And if he has an emergency of his own, he may have trouble getting time off when he really needs it. The sister is a selfish, inconsiderate flake!
NTA, NAH, NTA, NTA, NTA.
Story 1; your sister demands your household furnishings, then declares you greedy for not conceding to her???
Has she always been like this? Sister is a bully!
OP needs to take the job. Doggo is important, but BF the issue, not his senior dog.
He's ready to settle down and wants kids and a support system, she's still getting started. This is why you don't marry younger or older, you are not going to be at the same points in your lives
I'd wager money on that final comment of the video that it is the future daughter-in-law who found the account and is now trying to get back at her anonymously, somehow. No intelligent person would say you the AH. 🤦♂️
Story 1: NTA, but are you sure they are well off? Because this sounds like a jealous poor sister lashing out. Like is her husband financially ab^sive, or do they live a super expensive lifestyle and not want to sacrifice anything to afford the baby stuff?
The last story: Op you are NTA. Your DIL is two-faced and manipulative. When she got caught probably trying to test her boundaries to see if she could get your daughter to turn on you, like your son has, it backfired. But I must say, when caught, your DIL played a different victim game, which proved how wrapped your son is around her little finger. Consider it a flex or power play.
“Let her think your sister is taking advantage of you again.” I swear, people are becoming more and more self-centered. Hyper individualism is a poison. It is NOT “being taken advantage of” to help your own effing sister financially when there are emergencies!!! I can’t believe that even needs to be said.
The comments in the story about the Amazon to sister thing is so typically a Reddit anti male situation. If the roles were reversed it would have been more of the same ..the guy is wrong leave him!
Tone down your greed? She said that to the person she's trying to snatch currently in use possessions from? Define projection
So since when is it okay to insult somebody call them controlling an a-hole and then proceed to get mad that the person that you are treating like literal garbage doesn't want to treat you like family you don't get to be a raging dumpster fire to somebody and then expect them to accept you with open arms as if you didn't just set them on fire it's almost like our words and our actions have consequences and maybe we should be more conscious of the things that we say especially when you're talking to somebody about their mother so the daughter-in-law decides to Trash Talk the mom to her daughter and then think that the daughter is not going to then go back to her mom and be like so and so is trash-talking you about our family traditions absolutely not and honestly she doesn't deserve to be part of this family if this is how she's going to behave
Story 1: The absolute audacity of the sister to expect OP to just give away her daughters items. What the actual heck?
Story #2: TAKE THE JOB!! Notice everybody is telling you to not leave him and you're over reacting! Ask yourself, why is it the woman that's expected to give up her career and life goals?? Let him keep his dog!! I got a feeling that he's just using the poor thing as a excuse. It may be a two legged dog he wants to stay for!
Story 1: NTA. It's not greedy to buy what you can afford and not hand it over to someone.
I love animals but face it if the pup is already a senior doesn't have many more years. Then what ?
Story 2: Time to end this relationship. This is exactly why it is a bad idea to date a much older man when you are 18-25. Accept your job move across the country and when ready and settled start dating someone new, who really supports you, not someone who will say they support you hoping that you don't get the job.
And then call OPs mommy when OP won’t let him win. Let’s face it. Someone called OPs mom and it doesn’t sound like it was her. The bf tried to use her against OP
It's 5 years
@@GiordanDiodato At 22-23 years old, 5 year is a lifetime.
@@maurer3dshe’s 25 your being silly.
Story 3: Understanding my 'tocks. There's no punishment in refusing to be taken advantage of.
Wow that commenter hates men and it shows! It’s not her money so it’s completely NONE OF HER BUSINESS BECAUSE IT’S SEPARATE FOR JOINT ACCOUNTS!
She tries to control her husband and he caught on and it backfired on her. He is ok for this but they need to divorce because this marriage won’t last with a controlling snooping wife…
Mil asked daughter in law to wear it at some point at the wedding as a tradition. How is that insisting ? Or unreasonable. There needs to be a family meeting with DIL tomdiscuss it all and why the heirloom was taken back. They need to clear the air and start over if they are to ever get it sorted.
NTI because when she doesn’t have the bracelet on at the wedding it might be worse.
Bracelet Story: I swear some people need to make their MIL the bad guy no matter what.
No, at a discount decor warehouse you would pay something, just not as much as in regular stores. I doubt the sister intended to pay OP anything!
No, it wasn't even OP punishing the kids because of the sister. The sister Only gave a weeks notice for the second weekend, when clearly OP said she'd need two weeks notice. Open your ears Internet
What OP is failing to see is that her sister is a greedy entitled witch.
S1.NTA. I am so sick of ppl having kids, KNOWING they're expensive and expecting everyone to "help" them. If you can't afford something, babies included, then you can't afford it! Sis is clearly selfish, stupid and greedy. Not good parent material 😕
S2.NTA! Never give up a career for a relationship. Personal safety should always be a your #1 priority.
Last story NTA) If the DIL wants to be included in the family why be a witch about a gift that the family shares. NTA I pray you don’t like to commenters that are just as big of an idiot as the soon to be DIL.
Wait. So OPs boyfriend encouraged her to go for the job, and when she got it, he was against it?
S1: Geez, I at first thought sister was poor!! But NO, shes just a selfish snot!! S4: My husband used to give money to one of his sisters also; she was just a mooch. It drove me crazy, but it was his money: however i did tell him I hated that the only time sister reached out to him was to ask for money, time after time.. He knew it was true, so hed stop telling me he gave it to her; but I knew he still did.. I think canceling her bday party was a AH move though.
Last story, NTI.
S1 she wants kids she can pay she wants theme baby rooms she can pay step back op she’s super manipulative
Story 1: OPs sister isn’t as well off as she thinks her sister is. Otherwise she wouldn’t be doing that. Me thinks they were keeping up with the Jones’s type ppl
Or she's just cheap and greedy! How many times has she tried this nonsense on OP when they were growing up?
Job: lol op is going to destroy her life for a job lololol
Last Story:
NTA!
Last commenter: Just how pathetic and brainless are you?
Calling her names??? That neber happened in the story.
A good man wouldn't be pressuring you not to take the job, and blaming it on the dog. He needs to get on board, his parents can come and visit. He just doesn't want to move, and didn't think you'd get the job. It's easy to make promises and "be supportive" when it doesn't actually cost you anything. Besides, it's pretty clear he didn't think you'd actually get the job. *eye roll* Your career should not be second fiddle to a dog.
I don't agree with cancelling everything for her birthday but I also don't agree with her trying to control your finances when you do not have shared finances. Set boundaries because your response came off more like a tantrum. Set very firm boundaries and tell her to get back in her lane. Otherwise, you want to be able to have a say in how she spends her money.
Story 2: YTA, just break up and go do what you want to do. You are obviously not ready to be with anybody who doesn't want your decisions to be final