Creating the Most Inbred Dynasty in Crusader Kings 3

Поделиться
HTML-код
  • Опубликовано: 15 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 2,5 тыс.

  • @AlzaboHD
    @AlzaboHD  4 года назад +1262

    Looking to take your chin to habsburg heights? Elevate your dynasty today: play.crusaderkings.com/Alzabo. This video is sponsored by Paradox Interactive.

    • @cyphi474
      @cyphi474 4 года назад +18

      Oh, oh, i have idea. Cannibalism challenge! Ritual Cannibalism oriented Faith(make Guttonous virtue ofc). It would be hard to find practicing cannibal to start with tho.

    • @Gamecrafter12
      @Gamecrafter12 4 года назад +5

      CK3 added a Pure-Blooded trait if your dynasty can go through enough "keeping it in the family"

    • @cyphi474
      @cyphi474 4 года назад +3

      Found one way. postimg.cc/ZvcKMjQ4
      Its Stress random event sadly(with three posible outcomes). I didnt go for it because its nasty secret to have.

    • @Lightningdude
      @Lightningdude 4 года назад +5

      Bringing alabama to europe

    • @spymaster3366
      @spymaster3366 4 года назад +4

      How can you speak those words and not burst out laughing congrats man yousre a very good storyteller

  • @giorgibarbaqadze9196
    @giorgibarbaqadze9196 4 года назад +17839

    So it only takes a few generations of "keeping the bloodline pure" to create lord Farquaad ? A small price to pay for true divinity then

    • @eno2870
      @eno2870 4 года назад +486

      Well.. apparently you can also gain a "Pure Blood" trait (or something like that) as well. If you manage to survive all the inbreeding you can eventually breed out any genetic disorders and essentially become immune to the effects of inbreeding. The game says that's rare though, and I've not found it so far. Only a couple generations in. The first generation had no issues and mostly all inherited genius, beautiful, robust, or herculean traits. The second generation was the male heir, marrying several of his better half sisters. Still no issues, and almost every kid had several of those "good" traits. One even managed to get 3 of them.
      When the dude starting messing around with his own daughters though.. the game started throwing health issues in. So far they've all gone away as the kids have aged though.. but I've only had a couple kids in that generation and they're all still young.

    • @giorgibarbaqadze9196
      @giorgibarbaqadze9196 4 года назад +157

      @@eno2870 maybe thats more for a continued bloodline with positive traits, explained by them having created a solid bloodline without any disorders, not necesarrily for surviving inbreeding. either way, Im just glad I can make shreks most handsome man in ck

    • @MrxstGrssmnstMttckstPhlNelThot
      @MrxstGrssmnstMttckstPhlNelThot 4 года назад +245

      Some of these inbred children may die, but that is a risk I am willing to take.

    • @eno2870
      @eno2870 4 года назад +130

      @@giorgibarbaqadze9196 - My understanding is that you take inbred children and keep breeding them. If you manage to somehow make it through that without the loss of fertility and health issues ending your line, then you may eventually get lucky and get a child with the Pure trait. Several of these together are then immune to inbreeding and pass the trait on to their own children.

    • @SlyMonie
      @SlyMonie 4 года назад +131

      From family tree to family circle

  • @augustwinterman6952
    @augustwinterman6952 4 года назад +6917

    That's not a family tree. That's a family tumbleweed.

  • @Wreath_Noel
    @Wreath_Noel 4 года назад +7444

    Don't you just hate it when your dwarven lord is challenged by his half-brother/cousin/grandson who manages to slither onto the battlefield with 9 different genetic diseases?

    • @admontblanc
      @admontblanc 4 года назад +86

      lol yes ofc

    • @housesports000
      @housesports000 4 года назад +42

      Yeah always happens here

    • @turnerd20
      @turnerd20 4 года назад +50

      CK at it's finest lol

    • @bryanthardin8481
      @bryanthardin8481 4 года назад +94

      A massive legion of deformed naked Frenchman

    • @Swarthy144k
      @Swarthy144k 4 года назад +48

      You just made me imagine a deformed snake-like dwarf slithering onto a medieval battlefield, sword in mouth... 🤦🏾‍♂️😂🤣😆

  • @evanrudibaugh8772
    @evanrudibaugh8772 3 года назад +945

    "Hey, Paradox, I'm going to make a long video about super-incest."
    "SPONSORED!"

    • @chrysanthemum7391
      @chrysanthemum7391 3 года назад +64

      It's why half their fanbase even plays this game, to do horrible things and make wacky religious cults. 😂

    • @Retroist2024
      @Retroist2024 3 месяца назад +1

      Incest creates paradoxes

  • @DJSpike-ft9yw
    @DJSpike-ft9yw 3 года назад +3827

    Imagine what these holy wars looked like...instead of the riders of Rohan, thousands of freaks with various deformities come running naked over the hill, screaming gibberish.

    • @rangaaaaaaaaaaaaa
      @rangaaaaaaaaaaaaa 3 года назад +306

      i mean they ride something... mainly siblings but there could be the occasional horse here and there

    • @fujifilm5127
      @fujifilm5127 3 года назад +152

      You mean pre-Christian Scotland?

    • @fujifilm5127
      @fujifilm5127 3 года назад +138

      Alternatively, you mean modern Glasgow?

    • @cnn8420
      @cnn8420 3 года назад +23

      Reminds me of King Ptolemy I to Cleopatra VII

    • @hackergaming6372
      @hackergaming6372 3 года назад +45

      So like the titans from aot

  • @HoundofOdin
    @HoundofOdin 4 года назад +3041

    "Their lineage is . . . confusing at best. Many are simultaneously his son, nephew, and brother-in-law at the same time."
    *DUELING BANJOS INTENSIFIES*

    • @crabsandcrabsandcrabs924
      @crabsandcrabsandcrabs924 3 года назад +21

      I'm convinced that prof. Farnsworth is Dr. Bright's current body
      And as for the alabama.... Idk pretty much better than the current Jurassic park version condensed in an american state called Florida

    • @DamonNomad82
      @DamonNomad82 3 года назад +19

      Epic banjo duel between Alassippi and Missibama!

    • @ThatAnnoyingBird
      @ThatAnnoyingBird 3 года назад +12

      YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW!!!!!!!!!!

    • @skyfalldeadpool1633
      @skyfalldeadpool1633 3 года назад +3

      I am laughing way too hard at this. 🤣🤣🤣 not the Banjo my dude!!! Not the damn banjo. Seriously though incest is the most retarded thing humans have ever came up with

    • @theta_clips
      @theta_clips 3 года назад +1

      Eh, not really. It just means his father married his sister (players aunt) and the player married his sister. Repeat as needed

  • @jackhughes1741
    @jackhughes1741 4 года назад +2806

    I like this sort of "Story" in this video, rather than "Heres to get the best build. All the land, best game" etc etc. But just talking about events as if it were the characters making these decisions rather than the player discussing them. More of this please.

    • @danzoom
      @danzoom 4 года назад +148

      This is how CK is supposed to be played

    • @dodolulupepe
      @dodolulupepe 4 года назад +57

      @The505Guys you should watch his CK2 horse video where the horses rule the world it's incredible

    • @samuelstensgaard4828
      @samuelstensgaard4828 4 года назад +14

      Many a True Nerd gets into the roleplaying aspects a lot, would recommend.

    • @Baleur
      @Baleur 4 года назад +12

      There is no "best" anyway, its a sandbox game.
      Anyone who says that about these kind of games just dont get what these games are about.

    • @SkillaWillits
      @SkillaWillits 4 года назад +4

      Agreed, almost like a narrative let’s play. Make more!

  • @melchy392
    @melchy392 4 года назад +2795

    I'm amazed by the fact that developers added the possibility to enact a law which bans clothes in your court 👏👏

    • @BadDayLp
      @BadDayLp 4 года назад +150

      Everything for the rp

    • @darkwitnesslxx
      @darkwitnesslxx 4 года назад +162

      It's a historical Christian sect.

    • @plumebrisee6206
      @plumebrisee6206 4 года назад +16

      @@darkwitnesslxx Hindouism tho

    • @martaleszkiewicz5115
      @martaleszkiewicz5115 3 года назад +16

      @@plumebrisee6206 Why Hinduism?

    • @متين-ج4ز
      @متين-ج4ز 3 года назад +78

      @@martaleszkiewicz5115 There are nudist sects of Hinduism

  • @locktock9
    @locktock9 3 года назад +481

    "somehow he is is son, grandson and brother in law at the same time" im gonna take a guess here and say he's the son of your daughter who you married, and thus he becomes your son because he is your "wife"'s child, your grandson because he's your daughter wifes child, and your brother in law because he is....betrothed...to your....sibling maybe? im lost on that one haha

    • @DeplorableMinecrafter
      @DeplorableMinecrafter 3 года назад +75

      Brother-in-law because wife's brother. The child's mother is also his sister.

    • @le_meme_man8983
      @le_meme_man8983 3 года назад +1

      @@DeplorableMinecrafter wut? How?? That doesn't make any sense

    • @crypto66
      @crypto66 3 года назад +20

      @@le_meme_man8983 The grandson is you(player character) and your daughter's son. That makes him and his mother siblings, which also makes him your brother-in-law.

  • @dnsoulx
    @dnsoulx 4 года назад +1617

    imagine how awkward these family reunions are. you get there with your niece sister in law wife, and are forced to see your ex wife daughter cousin.... yikes

    • @bodman951
      @bodman951 3 года назад +23

      Its not that bad, me and my family manage to make do with it

    • @zachjesalva7696
      @zachjesalva7696 3 года назад +5

      @@bodman951 AYO WTF!!

    • @DustinBarlow8P
      @DustinBarlow8P 3 года назад +9

      @@lol-zp1ps I just threw up in my mouth...... lol you get pissed off at grandpa for hogging grandma! ughhhhh lol

    • @cekretone
      @cekretone 7 месяцев назад

      Okay, I need a diagram to explain that

  • @ThreeEyedFish
    @ThreeEyedFish 4 года назад +1047

    The delivery on this video is awesome. Hes just casually talking about how his naked dwarven lord defeated his half-brother/cousin/grandson with 9 genetic deformities and then forced everyone to marry their family.

    • @AlzaboHD
      @AlzaboHD  4 года назад +97

      Thanks for the support! This dynasty was quite an interesting... experience all around haha

    • @AD-pp2vn
      @AD-pp2vn 3 года назад +16

      How does one simultaneously be his brother, cousin and grandson at the same time? Can someone please explain to me what led to this?

    • @sapateirovalentin348
      @sapateirovalentin348 3 года назад +9

      @@AD-pp2vn libido.pure,boundless,feral libido

    • @AD-pp2vn
      @AD-pp2vn 3 года назад +11

      @@sapateirovalentin348 No I mean specifically. In order to be his half-brother they need to share a parent, to also be their cousin their parent needs to be the sibling of your parent. If one of his parents divorced remarried one of his aunts or uncles than technically you can get a mix of half brother and cousin. It's just I don't know how the grandson part fits in.

    • @sapateirovalentin348
      @sapateirovalentin348 3 года назад +11

      @@AD-pp2vn i am losing brains cell just reading this

  • @coyote47713
    @coyote47713 4 года назад +2405

    Giving the dynasty a chin only a mother-sister-daughter-wife could love

    • @xxxacu
      @xxxacu 4 года назад +19

      😍😍😍

    • @Vulturefist
      @Vulturefist 4 года назад +16

      Hahaha, good one mate! 🤣

    • @WadeAlma
      @WadeAlma 4 года назад +67

      So she would have to have a child with her father.
      Making her kid her half brother.
      Her child would have to of married his grandmother making her his daughter in law.
      And she and her son would of had to be married.

    • @proudmisogynistracisthomop1280
      @proudmisogynistracisthomop1280 2 года назад +8

      So... Inbreeding makes you a gigachad?

    • @or_gluzman561Peace_IL_PS
      @or_gluzman561Peace_IL_PS 2 года назад +8

      charles 5th: hey Mummy says its a strong chin for a strong boy

  • @ulysses9488
    @ulysses9488 4 года назад +2013

    Imagine going to battle with a solem look and full battle armor just for some lads all naked charge up and demolish you before being forced to be like them and marry your family because of the new tradition

    • @user-ft3jq5vi2l
      @user-ft3jq5vi2l 4 года назад +97

      Well, the first half was basically romans vs celts

    • @Swarthy144k
      @Swarthy144k 4 года назад +6

      😆😆😆🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂

    • @RexGalilae
      @RexGalilae 4 года назад +17

      @@user-ft3jq5vi2l
      Yep, upto the "demolish you" part ;)

    • @RexGalilae
      @RexGalilae 4 года назад +35

      @Anzu Wyliei
      You don't get to decide it. They'd have you marry your fat mom too

    • @ModernSemruk
      @ModernSemruk 4 года назад +3

      Rex Galilae Burst a laugh at that one lmao

  • @AstralDragoon
    @AstralDragoon 3 года назад +527

    Imagine reading in history books about a horde of naked dwarfs defeating a Pope.

  • @uhvyle4108
    @uhvyle4108 3 года назад +216

    "Nothing is more important then family" - Dom Toretto

  • @Edis12121
    @Edis12121 4 года назад +863

    I love how he narrates gameplay as some kind of documentary about medieval Europe, you pure-blood sire have my like!

    • @Shagamaw-100
      @Shagamaw-100 3 года назад +9

      Sounds like a royal advisor to the dynasty to prophet.

    • @atime5703
      @atime5703 2 года назад +1

      If CKIII happened in history

  • @giorgosthoma849
    @giorgosthoma849 4 года назад +4286

    not even 5 hours old and the incest has began

    • @matthewriley5819
      @matthewriley5819 4 года назад +291

      Just like Thanksgiving.

    • @giorgosthoma849
      @giorgosthoma849 4 года назад +155

      @@matthewriley5819 hold up

    • @rodrikforrester6989
      @rodrikforrester6989 4 года назад +53

      The incest has begun waaay before release (see: the Iberian Intrigue dev streams).

    • @admontblanc
      @admontblanc 4 года назад +10

      @@rodrikforrester6989 tradition holds power.

    • @conq1273
      @conq1273 4 года назад +2

      @@rodrikforrester6989 That was a great stream

  • @m.domsuni4514
    @m.domsuni4514 4 года назад +3763

    Paradox: “we’ve spent years developing a better more in-depth CK game I hope you guys enjoy”
    You Tubers: “LETS GET INBRED”

    • @user-pi8pd9wc5y
      @user-pi8pd9wc5y 4 года назад +65

      They wanted to give more choice to the player. To influence the world more and cater towards that fantasy of "changing history".

    • @combo1184
      @combo1184 4 года назад +14

      funny how they still sponsored this video

    • @lyc0h
      @lyc0h 4 года назад +48

      @@combo1184 they even played on that fact for promotional pursposes during their own live stream. The dev played a spanish duke who, at start, cheat his wife with his sister and get babies with her.

    • @Melanrick
      @Melanrick 4 года назад +12

      SWEEEEET HOME ALABAMA!

    • @jljljl1820
      @jljljl1820 4 года назад +8

      theres NO WAY they didnt see that coming

  • @augustblock3981
    @augustblock3981 4 года назад +175

    "Nudity and Prosperity"
    There's some words you don't find paired up too often

    • @skyfalldeadpool1633
      @skyfalldeadpool1633 3 года назад +2

      I am humbled by such words of wisdom

    • @xxprizefighterxx
      @xxprizefighterxx 3 года назад +4

      Duude, unless your grandma was a hippy. My childhood was strange.

    • @donovanlocust1106
      @donovanlocust1106 3 года назад +2

      @@xxprizefighterxx was there a lot of drugs and drum circles?

    • @who_cares848
      @who_cares848 3 года назад

      Two words. Pornography producer.

    • @PaulVRo
      @PaulVRo 3 года назад

      except in Germany

  • @samuela.3670
    @samuela.3670 3 года назад +465

    Take a shot of your liquour of choice every time he says "inbred" and remove an item of clothing each time he says "dwarf". An ideal game for the whole family.

    • @the_mexican_spy5584
      @the_mexican_spy5584 3 года назад +37

      No thanks, i want to keep my skin on.

    • @hib7295
      @hib7295 3 года назад +24

      @@the_mexican_spy5584 abandon the skin

    • @GooseWithAPassport
      @GooseWithAPassport 3 года назад +19

      @@hib7295 unclear instructions, bleeding to death

  • @dandewizzle2479
    @dandewizzle2479 4 года назад +653

    The calm, almost "National Geographic Documentary" manner in which you commentate this video makes it even more funny

  • @fartvader84yearsago8
    @fartvader84yearsago8 4 года назад +1518

    After like the 5th generation they present each other like: Yeah, she is my... *Sigh relative I guess

    • @____________838
      @____________838 3 года назад +76

      “My spouse.”

    • @DAsrada
      @DAsrada 3 года назад +23

      Read Wayfarer Redemption by Sarah Douglass if you really wanna see some inbreeding nonsense with the Icarii. Think of them as flying magical elves with just, so much incest.

    • @rangaaaaaaaaaaaaa
      @rangaaaaaaaaaaaaa 3 года назад +42

      after the 10 generation: yeah she is my **deep breath** sister, mother, grandmother, wife, daughter...

    • @mowermen1762
      @mowermen1762 3 года назад +16

      @@rangaaaaaaaaaaaaa at that point do you still give it a gender *IT* is my sister, father in law aunt, mother, son, grandfather and my dog

    • @rangaaaaaaaaaaaaa
      @rangaaaaaaaaaaaaa 3 года назад +12

      @@mowermen1762 true, it definitely isnt human at that point

  • @trygveplaustrum4634
    @trygveplaustrum4634 4 года назад +1414

    I love how people took all the stereotypes from CK2 ("Oh, it's just an inbred simulator") and cranked it up to 11 in CK3.
    It's like dabbing on the Mona Lisa.

    • @Ohflipsnap
      @Ohflipsnap 4 года назад +28

      i.pinimg.com/originals/2b/7e/0c/2b7e0c390894154d2cb7175d3a58db75.jpg

    • @pretentious_melancholic
      @pretentious_melancholic 4 года назад +28

      they really embraced the memes

    • @121Zeen
      @121Zeen 4 года назад +52

      CK2: Just an incest simulator
      CK3: Hold my beer, just incest ain't enough

    • @blarg2429
      @blarg2429 4 года назад +25

      To be fair, CK2 is also a hostile-takeover-by-horses simulator, if you play it right. Hopefully that's possible in 3 as well.

    • @xelldincht8149
      @xelldincht8149 4 года назад +9

      the funniest thing is that the developers of the game themselves sponsored this video

  • @1SaG
    @1SaG 4 года назад +209

    7:30 "The most logical choice was, of course, his half-sister and first cousin Morganne."
    Well, yeah... obviously. That's just common sense, isn't it? :D

  • @Monky44
    @Monky44 3 года назад +54

    So randomly got this recommended and i really like his storytelling , never heard of the game , but it sounded like a historical documentary , really enjoyed it

    • @woodpigeon7776
      @woodpigeon7776 3 года назад

      It’s just so elegantly narrated combined with the naked people 😆

  • @toastbot9496
    @toastbot9496 4 года назад +763

    When you lineage is starting to be called as the family conga line instead of a family tree

  • @Gastogh
    @Gastogh 4 года назад +195

    15:15 What a boss Ulfret II was. Took on a disintegrating realm, left it several times larger than its previous peak extent, and went on to rule for 53 years! God truly smiled on his lineage.

    • @hannibalburgers477
      @hannibalburgers477 4 года назад +4

      Heil Ulfret the Great!

    • @AleF202
      @AleF202 3 года назад +7

      He would’ve definitely received the moniker “the Great” if he was an actual historical figure.

    • @user-gj4eu2kl7k
      @user-gj4eu2kl7k Год назад

      Bookmarking comment

  • @JustAnotherAccount8
    @JustAnotherAccount8 4 года назад +3890

    ah, now I see why the Mongols stopped advancing into Europe

    • @Loreless
      @Loreless 4 года назад +64

      made my day

    • @greatbrandini3967
      @greatbrandini3967 4 года назад +36

      This comment is gold

    • @ErebosGR
      @ErebosGR 4 года назад +6

      Why?
      Is that some sort of racist joke referencing the term mongoloid?

    • @davidpark2557
      @davidpark2557 4 года назад +247

      @@ErebosGR why do you have to think so negatively it was obviously about the inbred mutant in the video

    • @xerithonk5316
      @xerithonk5316 4 года назад +110

      @@ErebosGR Dumbass.

  • @GoEvenHarder
    @GoEvenHarder 4 года назад +639

    Imagine fight against a army of nude people
    holding nothing but two swords

    • @scottkrafft6830
      @scottkrafft6830 3 года назад +30

      Yeah, their OWN "swords" if you know what I mean... xD

    • @rustemzholdybalin6210
      @rustemzholdybalin6210 3 года назад

      @@scottkrafft6830 citation from Godfather, remember? Sonny on Michael preparing for restaurant murder

    • @baldeaglesarentbald1921
      @baldeaglesarentbald1921 3 года назад +1

      Technically my ancestors
      ( Some Brazilian natives )

    • @Gabe-cv4yr
      @Gabe-cv4yr 3 года назад +5

      nah just one long girthy sword, .................................
      two would be truly inbred.

    • @crazyabe4571
      @crazyabe4571 3 года назад +3

      @@Gabe-cv4yr Considering how many generations of it he had- they probably had two.

  • @smashdown958
    @smashdown958 4 года назад +134

    Imagine having to study this family tree in school🥴

  • @xXHURPADURPXX
    @xXHURPADURPXX 4 года назад +855

    "The Sanguinism schism"
    I lost it.

    • @theoneandonlydetraebean8286
      @theoneandonlydetraebean8286 4 года назад +75

      "This video right here, inquisitor!"

    • @Ajehy
      @Ajehy 4 года назад

      *BLAM!*

    • @AnimalSlices
      @AnimalSlices 4 года назад +2

      It’s even better, it’s the Sanquisism Schism

    • @blarg2429
      @blarg2429 4 года назад +1

      Sanguinschism.

    • @MuddBstrd
      @MuddBstrd 4 года назад +1

      It's the newest sensation sweeping the nation! Do the Sanguisism Schism with your whole family!

  • @alech9418
    @alech9418 4 года назад +5079

    This was a cool explanation of British history, but I came here for videogame commentary.

    • @GillfigGarstang
      @GillfigGarstang 3 года назад +43

      Brittany is not the same thing as Britain

    • @DanksterPaws
      @DanksterPaws 3 года назад +299

      @@GillfigGarstang I dont think thats what he meant

    • @singingsunflower9000
      @singingsunflower9000 3 года назад +14

      How is this british history?

    • @kkitchens8089
      @kkitchens8089 3 года назад +123

      @@singingsunflower9000 the house of Hannover was pretty inbred, but idk if that was what he was referring to

    • @quandaledingle7812
      @quandaledingle7812 3 года назад +106

      Singing Sunflower you know there are these crazy things called jokes

  • @Mark-lf9cn
    @Mark-lf9cn 4 года назад +353

    I'm just amazed at how well you played the game, ignoring the incest

  • @Nasserattaf
    @Nasserattaf 2 года назад +8

    The way you read out your campaign as a story is amazing😂makes me feel like im listening to an actual medieval documentary

  • @thejadedeagle6729
    @thejadedeagle6729 4 года назад +109

    "He will forever be remembered for his apetite and historical irrelevance." is what they're going to etch on my tombstone.

  • @Amazatastic
    @Amazatastic 4 года назад +893

    I can't get over the fact that France is just Jerusalem now

    • @redrangerrr558
      @redrangerrr558 4 года назад +194

      When you launch a crusade to go to Jerusalem but Jerusalem decides to come to you.

    • @feferson492
      @feferson492 4 года назад +25

      how the tables have turned

    • @Ignikus
      @Ignikus 4 года назад +43

      @@feferson492 How the turntables.

    • @Serpillard
      @Serpillard 4 года назад +16

      We was Holy Land and shit!

    • @LecherousLizard
      @LecherousLizard 4 года назад +33

      Bruh, this is nothing.
      I wasn't paying attention for a while and suddenly I had Jerusalem instead of Iceland and southern Italy. There were also Ásatrú rulers in every goddamn corner of the world, while the founding dynasty of Poland was pushed out of Poland by Russians and owned Northern Germany.
      The AI is completely bonkers in CK3.

  • @mikc3261
    @mikc3261 4 года назад +195

    Love the fact that his voice is so calm while the video's content is crazy as f***

  • @KingMoon110
    @KingMoon110 4 года назад +328

    1:18 Family Tree? This is more like a family circle

    • @alexzander7386
      @alexzander7386 3 года назад +18

      With all the twists and turns it is either the family roler coaster or family hairball

    • @music79075
      @music79075 3 года назад +7

      An Ouroboros if you will

    • @spacellamamk1
      @spacellamamk1 3 года назад +9

      A family wreath

    • @marcinduman2651
      @marcinduman2651 3 года назад +2

      @@spacellamamk1 beat me to it

    • @Zurvan1947
      @Zurvan1947 3 года назад

      Hey hey people

  • @captaintorchman1046
    @captaintorchman1046 4 года назад +82

    You can't explain royal families in one gameplay.
    The gameplay:

  • @kaiser_Haux
    @kaiser_Haux 4 года назад +76

    Play as Byzantine and do this
    Achievement unlocked:
    Sweet home Albania

  • @jaxelt1
    @jaxelt1 4 года назад +207

    "A charming man, he became famous for his elaborate feasts and grandiose balls."
    This sentence takes on an entirely different meaning for an Adamite king.

  • @DreamOfGermany
    @DreamOfGermany 4 года назад +2529

    Me: Can we have Targaryens?
    Mom: We have Targaryens at home.
    Targaryens at home:

  • @queru1ous
    @queru1ous 4 года назад +194

    The game just came out and the best content we deserve is already here!
    Thank you, mister, you’re a genius.

    • @AlzaboHD
      @AlzaboHD  4 года назад +21

      Thank you for your support! I hope you enjoy the story as much as I had fun playing it through lol

  • @radiclelife
    @radiclelife 3 года назад +190

    Small thing that I’m not seeing anyone talk about: his great pronunciation of the French county names 👍🏼

    • @NeuKrofta
      @NeuKrofta 3 года назад +2

      but cant pronounce "piety" properly lmfao

    • @kennethelder2072
      @kennethelder2072 2 года назад

      Are you having a laugh …. The pronunciation is brutal

    • @thatdudeoverthere2188
      @thatdudeoverthere2188 2 года назад

      Ah yes. FranKEEY-UH

    • @Grak70
      @Grak70 Год назад

      You’ve gotta be joking. I legit thought this was circa 2018 text to speech at first.

  • @dominics.8796
    @dominics.8796 3 года назад +286

    I laughed so hard whenever he would describe inbreeding as “divine”

    • @skyfalldeadpool1633
      @skyfalldeadpool1633 3 года назад +15

      It is that unholy. Negative plus negativr equals positive my dude. Or something mathematical like that. Don't ask me I am retarded

    • @rangaaaaaaaaaaaaa
      @rangaaaaaaaaaaaaa 3 года назад +7

      @@skyfalldeadpool1633 i think its negative minus negative but yeah something like that

    • @juliethepositive748
      @juliethepositive748 3 года назад +7

      The fade ins on the word inbred in the marriage warnings in game whenever he mentioned tradition/noble blood killed me the most
      4:08 for reference

    • @juntingiee2602
      @juntingiee2602 3 года назад

      @@rangaaaaaaaaaaaaa no its negative times or divided by negative

    • @ECSizemore
      @ECSizemore Год назад

      How the king went to heaven lmao

  • @jackson8382
    @jackson8382 4 года назад +1348

    You can say anything about Historical Crusades, but Crusade against Adamites was necessary

    • @ilduce4298
      @ilduce4298 4 года назад +95

      Yea those fucks were weird

    • @nETbKaH
      @nETbKaH 4 года назад +18

      Only Sanguitism deserves to exist.

    • @elimalinsky7069
      @elimalinsky7069 4 года назад +48

      The real historic Adamites allowed incest, but it was apparently not very common. They preferred first or second cousins, which is not considered incest, but it is still inbreeding.

    • @gabrielvincentelli1254
      @gabrielvincentelli1254 4 года назад +16

      @@elimalinsky7069 study shows second degree cousins are safe and dont conduct to inbreeding. We mutate just fast enough to allow that.

    • @elimalinsky7069
      @elimalinsky7069 4 года назад +7

      @@gabrielvincentelli1254 Second cousins are still blood related though, but I guess the distance of the relation is enough that recessive genes won't be activated.

  • @trygveplaustrum4634
    @trygveplaustrum4634 4 года назад +585

    Lol, Adamitism feels like one of those Skyrim mods that, quote, "totally renovate the gameplay."
    But it's not. It's baked into the coding. HOW?!

    • @Speedster___
      @Speedster___ 4 года назад +6

      Lol

    • @macrossMX
      @macrossMX 4 года назад +159

      The craziest part of it all is that Adamite Christianity is an actual sect of Christianity, albeit a very obscure sect (for obvious reasons).
      Apparently, this sect believes that followers of Adamitism were able to regain their purity from the days of Adam the first man (hence the name Adamite). They believe that this restoration of purity of innocence allows them to go about in the nude.
      Good job for Paradox for searching through historical documents to bring up this absolutely obscure sect of Christianity in game. Let's hope it stays in game and not inspire someone out there to become the successors of Adam's "purity".

    • @Speedster___
      @Speedster___ 4 года назад +2

      macrossMX agreed

    • @Furcapper
      @Furcapper 4 года назад +1

      It's Crusader Kings, that's how.

    • @tylermech66
      @tylermech66 4 года назад +2

      @@macrossMX -i mean, plenty of nudists out there, some of them i'm sure are a bit religious about it. What's wrong with that?-
      Nah, Adamism is evil dont do it. Promotes raping your kids.

  • @myl938
    @myl938 4 года назад +427

    The Habsburgs: Write that down! Write that down!

    • @user-ft3jq5vi2l
      @user-ft3jq5vi2l 4 года назад +29

      Egyptian ptolemaics: are we a joke to you?
      (No seriously, Cleopatra was almost twice as inbred as Charles "barely functioning" II of spain, yet she still managed to be fully functional. I swear she got a nat 20 in character creation or someone cheated there.)

    • @helpiamstuckonthismanshead3385
      @helpiamstuckonthismanshead3385 4 года назад

      @@user-ft3jq5vi2l i never knew that

    • @FrstSpctr88
      @FrstSpctr88 4 года назад +6

      @@helpiamstuckonthismanshead3385
      Life begins with genetic lottery, high probability to inherit good and/or bad traits from your parents.
      For healthy kid to be born from two sickly parents is a winning the lottery.

  • @freedemonhugs
    @freedemonhugs 4 года назад +24

    "making our family tree look like a conga line" is a VERY good line

  • @Snipfragueur
    @Snipfragueur 3 года назад +51

    A wise man once said:
    "The best way to make your dinasty eternal is to transform your family tree into a family circle."

  • @hailonyourparade
    @hailonyourparade 4 года назад +178

    "Sanguisism Schism" is honestly the most cursed thing in this entire video

  • @smorcrux426
    @smorcrux426 4 года назад +2034

    wow, censoring so much probably took so long...

    • @Speedster___
      @Speedster___ 4 года назад +27

      I assume it wasn’t censored in game?

    • @toreq1127
      @toreq1127 4 года назад +140

      @@Speedster___ it wasnt

    • @Speedster___
      @Speedster___ 4 года назад +70

      toreq I wonder if the devs blushed when making the models :-)

    • @DaDARKPass
      @DaDARKPass 4 года назад +162

      @@toreq1127 Actually there is an option in the game rules... it's just that only 1 guy has found it.

    • @dodolulupepe
      @dodolulupepe 4 года назад +9

      @@DaDARKPass oh thank goodness

  • @GarlicPudding
    @GarlicPudding 4 года назад +573

    Somewhere in Hell, the Hapsburgs are nodding in approval.

    • @AlzaboHD
      @AlzaboHD  4 года назад +186

      But can you nod with such a heavy chin? Hmmmm.jpg

    • @Flarisic
      @Flarisic 4 года назад +29

      @@AlzaboHD one nod is all you need

    • @GarlicPudding
      @GarlicPudding 4 года назад +43

      AlzaboHD Just lift your head and let gravity do the work.

    • @Pardonmyinsolence
      @Pardonmyinsolence 4 года назад +15

      Those chins are weapons on their own

    • @death153278
      @death153278 4 года назад +22

      That's a strange way to spell Heaven, my friend.
      A divine bloodline deserves nothing less.

  • @ballparkclown2256
    @ballparkclown2256 4 года назад +15

    this was incredible would love to see how the campaign ended and one where you ultimately conquer the world with blue blooded freaks

  • @gavingiwer855
    @gavingiwer855 3 года назад +24

    Despite all the incest, you're a great story teller.

  • @cg6423
    @cg6423 4 года назад +37

    I love it when RUclipsrs do historically accurate runs like this.

  • @Eisenwulf666
    @Eisenwulf666 4 года назад +170

    Imagine being naked all day in a medieval castle in winter..that would put some dents in my faith tbh 😁

    • @nETbKaH
      @nETbKaH 4 года назад +42

      God sends us challenges to harden us, like tempering a blade

    • @skoobydu1364
      @skoobydu1364 4 года назад +6

      @@nETbKaH blessed be St.Olfritz.

    • @Gottaculat
      @Gottaculat 4 года назад +4

      Pretty sure castles were warmer than you may think. Never underestimate the heat output from a good hearth fire!

    • @JillWouters
      @JillWouters 3 года назад +2

      puts a new meaning into "mating season" XD

  • @dannydeng3640
    @dannydeng3640 4 года назад +134

    The dwarve king literally reminds me of lord farquaad

    • @lobehold2263
      @lobehold2263 3 года назад +3

      This is the prequel to Shrek

  • @WiggleJimmy
    @WiggleJimmy 3 года назад +9

    "Ulfret was growing old, and at the rip age of 64 he past into heaven"
    4:28
    I think its fair to say that; no, no he didn't.

  • @aessydizzy1838
    @aessydizzy1838 3 года назад +29

    when you catch two cows for a farm in minecraft

  • @y33t23
    @y33t23 4 года назад +504

    I typed "CK3 Habsburg" because you can play that dynasty, and this showed up

    • @scarletbard6511
      @scarletbard6511 4 года назад +28

      I typed "CK3 Religion"
      I was very confused, but oddly satisfied.

    • @BadDayLp
      @BadDayLp 4 года назад +2

      Actually the head of the habsburgs decided he wants to only marry into his family after a recent CK3 run

    • @murximus6131
      @murximus6131 4 года назад

      I typed "Austria ck3"

    • @GabeIDK2
      @GabeIDK2 3 года назад +1

      I know what I’m doing when I get the game...

  • @demeterruinedmylife3199
    @demeterruinedmylife3199 4 года назад +213

    Never played CK before, but I'm now interested in seeing how immoral I can become when I play this game.

    • @CoverofWinter
      @CoverofWinter 4 года назад +31

      All my games eventually devolved into my eugenics program, with my entire family involved after I learned how to play. The one time it didn't happen was when I got a character to become immortal through an event I had never seen and didn't know the possible outcomes. So to summarize its great fun

    • @mykahmeizis403
      @mykahmeizis403 4 года назад +15

      CK3 will hopefully be like CK2 which allows you to fuck around in many different mind boggling ways.

    • @00_00.1
      @00_00.1 4 года назад +2

      Thats the whole point! Then if you fw the game enough its fun to play morally or however you jus got to get a mindset of the person you're playing as

    • @ardenorcrush649
      @ardenorcrush649 4 года назад +6

      @@massivekvnt1603 That's just part of being a ruler when the way to power is through hereditary rights. The only reason child-murdering isnt mainstream among modern nation states is because children no longer inherit any power.

    • @ageoflove1980
      @ageoflove1980 4 года назад +2

      @@ardenorcrush649 Well there was this relatively recent event where "terrorists" killed the entire Nepal royal family at a party, except for one uncle who.... euh... had a cold and really couldnt make it. After the massacre he found out he was suddenly first in line to become the king of Nepal!

  • @zegnar3420
    @zegnar3420 4 года назад +96

    He will forever be remembered for his historic irrelevance.

  • @Ann_Xileel
    @Ann_Xileel 4 года назад +31

    History Channel seems weird, but strangely interesting these days.

  • @Steampunkfox143
    @Steampunkfox143 3 года назад +11

    4:09 "They are related and run a chance of them being inbred" That is exactly what it is game

  • @Sphagetti__
    @Sphagetti__ 4 года назад +176

    Ah yes of course, the in-Bretons, the neighbours of Jerusalem!

  • @jaydenburgher2651
    @jaydenburgher2651 4 года назад +65

    "Is that clothing, such barbaric clothings are unacceptable in the court of Olfrid"
    I died

  • @SarahWolverine
    @SarahWolverine 3 года назад +3

    20 seconds in and "Where we make our family tree look like a conga line" absolutely killed me. Thank you, I finally now know how to describe the julio-claudian family tree. Can't wait to watch the whole video.

  • @jungtothehuimang
    @jungtothehuimang 2 года назад +3

    The way this comes off as an actual documentary is insane

  • @alexeyvlasenko6622
    @alexeyvlasenko6622 4 года назад +25

    Whoa, this is definitely a family friendly game. Really puts the nasty in dynasty.

  • @martingentieu6850
    @martingentieu6850 4 года назад +120

    alzabo: tries to create the most inbred dynasty.
    habsburg dynasty: "oh, you're approaching me?"

    • @SirConto
      @SirConto 3 года назад +8

      Look at the Ptolemaic dynasty family tree. Pretty sure they have the Habsburgs beat. At one point they just have 4 generations of siblings marrying.

    • @thatdudeoverthere2188
      @thatdudeoverthere2188 2 года назад

      @@SirConto how'd Cleopatra get such a Roman nose then hey? Hnh?! HUMM?!

    • @amirferdhany3177
      @amirferdhany3177 2 года назад

      @@thatdudeoverthere2188 she is greek

    • @thatdudeoverthere2188
      @thatdudeoverthere2188 2 года назад

      @@amirferdhany3177 didn't know that. They were Ptolemys tho.
      Also she's dead. So she was Greek. Now she's just dead.

  • @godzillaqq7712
    @godzillaqq7712 4 года назад +2051

    Why is the kingdom called “Brittany” it’s clearly just Alabama with a baguette

    • @id30i18
      @id30i18 4 года назад +145

      Why is the state called "Alabama" it's clearly just Brittany but English

    • @godzillaqq7712
      @godzillaqq7712 4 года назад +11

      I D30 I lmao

    • @AlexanderGedz
      @AlexanderGedz 4 года назад +43

      À la bámmas

    • @taicanium
      @taicanium 4 года назад +53

      Alabaguette

    • @taicanium
      @taicanium 4 года назад +6

      @john buck Speaking as someone from Oklahoma, what is y'all's problem with specifically New York? Like is there a stereotype of the South that you have yet to play off as being worse in New York?

  • @BuckBlaziken
    @BuckBlaziken 3 года назад +9

    The Hapsburg Dynasty: Finally, a worthy opponent. Our battle will be legendary!

  • @maxwild1212
    @maxwild1212 3 года назад +9

    "Hey, remember how when our little king was a young man he murdered his stepmother and his father let him get away with it for some reason?"
    "No, and it's treason to say that you do."

  • @Typhoonfloyd
    @Typhoonfloyd 4 года назад +72

    New drinking game proposal;
    Take a shot each time alzabo says "keeping it in the family"
    Take a shot each time he says "sister, brother or cousin"
    Take a shot each time he mentiones a genetic disorder.

  • @martincajthaml1127
    @martincajthaml1127 4 года назад +79

    i clicked at a random point in the video and i was really confused why is everyone naked

    • @AlzaboHD
      @AlzaboHD  4 года назад +34

      Welcome to the Adamite religion!

  • @0The_Farlander0
    @0The_Farlander0 4 года назад +61

    I'm a big fan of how insane they look pre-inbreeding

  • @TheOnlyKeksSuchti
    @TheOnlyKeksSuchti 2 года назад +3

    This video is a resumé of European history, it is almost so accurate you could learn this for a history exam!

  • @anapoda3081
    @anapoda3081 3 года назад +2

    i'm not saying that it's the greatest concept for a video that i have ever heard about, but it's REALLY up there, oh, and that thumbnail is pure fucking gold.

  • @farenhaid13421
    @farenhaid13421 4 года назад +31

    The game just came out and we already have somebody doing the inbreeding challenge, the devs KNOW players like to do this stuff omg.

  • @SeanB2
    @SeanB2 4 года назад +87

    The thumbnail instantly made me think: "We are number one!"

    • @Ohflipsnap
      @Ohflipsnap 4 года назад +2

      May as well be; only one bloodline...

    • @bojan01010
      @bojan01010 4 года назад

      R.I.P. in pizzaroni Karl Steffanson

  • @D.AbyssMusic
    @D.AbyssMusic 4 года назад +80

    how do you pronounce the counties like a french person, im so happy someone actually can

    • @AlzaboHD
      @AlzaboHD  4 года назад +52

      I live in France - thanks for the kind words and support!

  • @flandersnatch2285
    @flandersnatch2285 4 года назад +6

    the only history channel I need, is right here.

  • @CeluiEtSeul
    @CeluiEtSeul 4 года назад +13

    It good to see a gamer be as historical accurate possible

  • @Baleur
    @Baleur 4 года назад +14

    Just like irl!
    Protip though, inbreeding does have a rare proc to roll a trait on birth that gives +200% lifespan.
    Queen Elizabeth got lucky with that one.

  • @teph1256
    @teph1256 4 года назад +66

    when your "lineage" is a straight line.

  • @GarfieldRex
    @GarfieldRex 4 года назад +44

    Didn't know Habsburg came from the word Cournouaille. Only bad thing was no witchcraft opportunity to bless this pure blood.

  • @HuskingPHP
    @HuskingPHP 3 года назад +5

    The Chill Commentary and the Brutal Warfare + Intense Inbreeding really makes the Video Entertaining

  • @justinmalangoni
    @justinmalangoni 3 года назад +4

    challenge suggestion, start as a "Hellenic Roman" Count in Napoli and restore the Roman Empire and reforming Hellenism. great content btw.

  • @federicoallegretti3798
    @federicoallegretti3798 4 года назад +43

    Game of Thrones season 9 is looking wild

  • @tywinlannister8015
    @tywinlannister8015 4 года назад +58

    A challenge huh. I raise you founding a dynasty as an unmarried and childless eunuch with no heirs.
    Yes, you can survive the first character. It *is* possible.

    • @AlzaboHD
      @AlzaboHD  4 года назад +19

      Ironically ive done this exact challenge in CK2! With satanism though, in CK3 it might only be possible through concubine cuckoldery though ive yet to check

    • @tywinlannister8015
      @tywinlannister8015 4 года назад +9

      ​@@AlzaboHD Ah satanism is hilarious, but it's nowhere near as good as actually getting good ol' Munis of Galilee cucked by his concubines and believing it's his kid even if the guy lacks you know ... the relevant parts to father one XD
      Poor, poor, poor Munis.
      Anyhow, your vid inspired me to test Wincest on CK3.
      It's actually a viable strategy now. It works. Incredibly it works. If you use it reasonably of course at first, then gt the perks offsetting inbreeding chance.
      I'm running a genius bloodline at the moment. Trying to get the good looking traits to happen more often though. For now I only have intelligence being properly inherited.

    • @ХристоМартунковграфЛозенски
    • @tywinlannister8015
      @tywinlannister8015 3 года назад

      @@ХристоМартунковграфЛозенски No such thing in game.

    • @ХристоМартунковграфЛозенски
      @ХристоМартунковграфЛозенски 3 года назад

      @@tywinlannister8015 Ah, so NOW we're talking!

  • @nobodyknowsme3324
    @nobodyknowsme3324 4 года назад +12

    The game is out for 1 week and we already have videos like this. We have definitely achieved the highest form of a species

  • @househosted
    @househosted 3 года назад +3

    This was an exceptional video! Well done! I love the way you've described events and such. I would've loved to see what happened if you had let Brittany become matriarchal; or on a different venture: to have simply castled up and seen how long the divine family could foster prosperity for the country. I've never played this game; and I'd imagine it doesn't run completely parallel to games like Civilization, but the idea of establishing a very positive and enriching history around incest is very thought provoking.

  • @Misan_M
    @Misan_M 3 года назад +2

    Your mastery of french regions pronunciation is delightful. Great work !

  • @HuevoBendito
    @HuevoBendito 4 года назад +33

    I love how they made incest a viable playstyle with those bloodline paths lol

  • @middox239
    @middox239 4 года назад +26

    i have never heard of this game existing, but damn if this was the gameplay trailer, i think many many more people would buy it, just like im about to XD

  • @overworlder
    @overworlder 4 года назад +12

    Some of my nobles started answering the door naked. That was weird. Although recently here in Australia when the police were doing covid doorknocks, politicians had to go on TV to ask people to put pants on before they answer the door. Also Mormon missionaries in Australia complain that people answer the door butt-naked. So I guess it’s a thing.

    • @birdsteak9267
      @birdsteak9267 2 года назад

      Fuck the Australian Police and their tyrannical leaders.

  • @rasmus11443
    @rasmus11443 4 года назад +2

    The concept, production and commentary of this video is absolutely glorious! Loved every moment of it! :D Take my sub, kind sir!

  • @thatflyingsaucer9340
    @thatflyingsaucer9340 3 года назад +2

    At around the 11:00 point, I started getting confused by the family relationships. Because everyone had at least two ways they were related to everyone else.