6 Christian Dating Hot Takes
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- Опубликовано: 27 ноя 2023
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In a culture that either demonizes men or excuses them, we need men to know that God has a mission for them to pursue. To lead and love well.
Join me as I work through the challenges, and joys of what it means to be a man. This is a place for men to be strengthened on their mission to lead and love.
I’m going to be honest with every single guy. If you can’t pursue sexual purity (abstinence from pornography or other sexual activity) outside of a relationship, you won’t be able to pursue sexual purity in a romantic relationship. I challenge everyone who reads this to try to go 2 weeks without masturbation before even considering a romantic relationship.
I'd go a step further and remove masturbation entirely from your life, even if you never step into a romantic relationship. If you want to honour Christ, value sexuality as God made it - a gift between a man and a woman living in a precious covenant relationship and for themselves alone. God's grace empowers Christians to be delivered from sexual sin and to live in freedom. Blessings.
There’s a freedom in Jesus Christ- masturbation is one of the sins that you shouldn’t be doing
I have been a chronic masturbater for the majority of my adolescence but in the last year I have grown closer to Christ and I can't yet say that I haven't done it since, but it went from multiple times a day to maybe a couple of times a month in the blink of an eye, all it took was Christ stepping into my life. Those couple of times also began to be very shameful for myself and I find the need to repent immediately, and abstain longer. I pray Christ gives me the strength to completely remove this sin from my life as it is one of the most vile sins I can commit. I say all of this to say that if you deal with masturbation as a sin (or any sin for that matter), if you pray to Jesus Christ, he will take it away from you and change your life. You may not be perfect and you might relapse, but the frequency will go down until He eventually removes it totally from your life completely. Blessed be the Lord.
Even after years of addiction, you can come back. God has started pulling me out of that mire, and it feels so liberating to not be thinking of doing something I hate anymore.
Facts 💯 having a strong relationship with God and denying you're flesh DAILY should come before even considering a wife yet.
As a early 20s guy it's hard to even find Christian women, let alone find a date but I know in time I'll find the right one
Amen I’m right there with you brother same everything. I prayed for the Lord to bring me a helper the way he gave one to Adam. And I KNOW he will grant her to me. Have faith in what you pray for.
@@v3nomxxx961 Amen, the best things come with time :).
Gotta be looking in the right places bro👀👀
Literally just go to church...
@@untitledman3767 any ideas?
It's really hard to find devout Christians. I find plenty of people who say they're Christian, but it doesn't change how they live their lives.
I suppose thats where you could show them more of the truth and help them develop their spiritual journey through Christ. You show them the truth and Christ will do the rest
I don’t personally like dating apps, I think it kickstarts a relationship of expectations rather than one centered around friendship. Like you’re looking for someone to fit a certain type of role rather than meeting someone traditionally and having your relationship “figure itself out” and develop organically.
That’s my experience at least. But maybe that’s just me.
Also, It’s totally ok to want to be married. But it’s important to be content in your own life and relationship with the Lord first. Wait on God’s timing. I have a friend who told me once “Don’t chase butterflies, they only fly away. Instead build a beautiful garden, and the butterflies will come.”
Been building my “garden” ever since.
Beautifully said brother. God bless you
That’s a beautiful quote. But I think some people use self improvement as an excuse for not pursuing women. If you have the opportunity to go on a date with someone you like, you should take it.
@@rexupload4821 Definitely! And you'll never be perfect. You should always be growing, just don't let "growth" smother potential relationships. Often the relationships themselves are an instrument of growth and sanctification.
I know what you mean, though. You have to pursue a relationship, people don't just fall into our laps!
I get what you're saying... but for me, a guy in his early 20s who has been rejected over and over, and also becomes close friends with a girl only to find out that when I want commitment, they just wanted a guy best friend... I'm willing to work on myself and figure things out, girls I have encountered aren't willing. It gets tiring, and having an already set expectation kinda sounds nice. Just depends on the person I guess.
@@braedynhoward3644 I’m no “pro” or anything lol but do you mind me asking how you’re pursuing these women? How does the relationship start and eventually get to “friendzone”?
0:50 Men Should Make the First Move
2:22 Don’t Be Afraid to Change Your Life If You Wanna Get Married
3:51 Dating Apps Are a Good Option
5:53 Talk About S3x in Dating Stage, Not Pre-Marital Stage
8:28 Get Referrals from Friends
10:11 Attraction Is More Important Than Your Friends Think and Less Important Than You Think
thanks, better then watching the whole thing...
I disagree considering that’s not biblical. God tell everyone to remain abstinent both women and men. You don’t need a relationship or sex to be happy. The only thing you need is Jesus and he will bring the person for you when it’s time and you seek it out. You can withhold from sex and masturbation in singleness. Is it difficult? Yes but it is possible with Gods help. If your happiness relies on sex or a relationship then you aren’t putting your trust, faith, time and energy in God. Be careful with that ideology is very dangerous and against what the Bible says.
Sin is sin and God says he’s against both. I’m pretty sure In his eyes he would prefer if people just did what he says in his word and remained abstinent until marriage and lust and instead put their faith and time in God, creating a relationship with him first.
@@tommyspam995That’s a cope not a hot take. Watching porn you just defile yourself and lust. Premarital sex you defile each other and lust. Both wrong, but doing actual sex rather than simulated is clearly worse.
@@tommyspam995God made it simple for us. resist the urge to splurge bro
I initiated my first move, not with nerves or anything, just confidence. Put my self on the line. The bigger the risk the more gratifying the reward
For me, every ask is a risk. XD Haven't gotten a yes in 10 years. But I still try, because I always feel better that I shot my shot than when I don't.
@@KevvoLightswift fr, I know one day you’ll find someone! But you never know if you don’t shoot your shot👍🏽. God bless you
Im going to be 35 next year. I’ve been living in chicago my whole life, I am part of a great church community but I feel like nothing is happening in the area of relationship for me. Its been on my heart to move states completely, if your reading this please pray for that its clear if I need to stay or move next year.
I recently moved states completely. I did it “for a work opportunity” but it was mostly a heart thing. I felt really stagnant and like I wasn’t being spiritually fed. It’s been better since I moved but some struggles I face are the same. Some prayers have been answered in tremendous ways, others…not so much. Places are just places.
I grew up military so moving frequently was pretty common for me, but this move was my first time choosing it on my own. And out of these moves i’ve gleaned a lot of insight.
Set your heart as best you can on growth before making a decision. Wherever you decide to move, make sure it’s somewhere that will encourage you and foster your growth - be that career, relational, or spiritual. Need to be alone and away from your family to grow close to God? That’s a great reason. Want to develop your skill set and grow your career? Also a good reason. But try to pursue the lord’s heart in whatever you do.
My advice is to spend a week or two there if you can afford it. Find a church and see if you can grow there. If not, just plan, research, and pray. Think it through carefully. If it’s not part of God’s plan, he closes doors. But it’s hard to know for sure.
Your situation will require some discretion and prayer, but I’m confident God will guide you.
I know guys who moved and then came back. Wasn’t what they were looking for. But it worked out either way and they learned valuable things from the experience. Either way, it’ll be ok if you’ve got a plan.
Praying for you!
Don't wait, just move. You can't go wrong with Kansas.
Praying for wisdom in this area for you, brother.
Move to the mid Atlantic area. The gender ratio skews towards there being more women at younger ages, unlike the rest of the nation. Particularly the DC metro area.
What will moving fix? Did you ever consider it might be a problem with you? Perhaps it’s a confidance issue or a physical attractiveness issue or a security issue. Yes now it is harder for men because it used to be Cindy had to look in her small town but now with the internet she has Chad in New York and Tyron in LA willing to fly her out. You think just because you move that will somehow change behavior that much? I guess go for it.
When it comes to making the first move, I don’t think it’s laziness holding men back. It’s hopelessness.
Absolutely
I think it’s both
It’s definitely laziness and fear. If you actually approach woman and ask them out it usually goes well even if it ends in rejection. Most woman will be nice and say sorry I have a boyfriend or something similar that lets you down easy. As long as you’re respectful nothing bad is going to happen.
I was petrified to make a move for a long time. One of my best memories was the first time I approached a girl I didn’t know. It was awkward and uncomfortable and I walked away about 30 seconds in because I was scared. But I felt amazing afterward for having the nerve to do it and realizing that there was zero downside.
Never regretted making a move but regret the countless times I didn’t some of them very acutely.
Yes, this is the only thing he got somewhat wrong... as a guy, I've tried around 6 times this year to initiate something... and get turned down over and over... that, or I really click with a girl and grow close with her... to find out she wants a guy best friend and won't commit to anything serious. Or that she actually wants another guy who is also initiating things. After going through that multiple times... I really do wish a girl would for once recognize and value my personality, faith, and character, and not necessarily "pursue" me, but show open interest at least. But I know I must continue trying, since girls want guys to be dominant.
@@braedynhoward3644 Rejection is redirection!! That is only God protecting you from being with a woman who isn’t the best for you! Don’t lose hope just know, the woman I’m gonna have will be better than those women, God is redirecting me. Also make an effort to make your intentions CLEAR before getting close to prevent unnecessary hurt. Let her know you’re seeking courtship, and interested in finding compatibility for commitment. Be bold and take lead, a woman of God will love that quality in a man because she understands submission.
I had a relationship that blew up and ended about 7 months ago that I thought was from God and it really forced me to back step and take a lot of time to heal. The amount of trust issues that it gave me was overwhelming, but with Jesus and help from the Holy Spirit I'm slowly beginning to see that new way forward. Don't get me wrong, I'm terrified to step into the dating scene again, but I've begun being intentional about conversations, setting CLEAR boundaries for myself, and taking things slow. I pray over time that God will work things out as my journey through life continues. It doesn't help that I'm moving in a month and a half so my life will be thrown into a new realm of chaos 😂, but we stay intentional 💪
It’s important to know that God knows what outcomes could be from paths crossing, but whether your kinship works with someone or not hinges wholly on how both of you work together. God cannot make an unwilling side do anything.
amen!
While dating apps can work, I think there is a huge problems with going that route. Many women use them to "shop" for a man or husband. They won't give a guy a chance or a reply if their profile isn't perfect.
I think holding off from sex before marriage is one of the most important things you can do. I mistakenly did it before marrying my wife, and I’m lucky it all worked out, but I know that if it hadn’t then I would have a whole bunch of unneeded emotional baggage. Oh yes, and it’s an awful sin, which is more important than my anecdote
Remove the “I think” because you are very right brother!
As a woman who’s mistakenly had premarital sex, let me tell you that it comes with SO MUCH EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE!! Even more so when they leave you. Thankfully, Jesus is healing me!
Thank you for emphasizing taking initiative. There are countless excuses about why we shouldn't pursue someone, and they're all borne out of fear and indecision. Questions like "is she really the one'', "I need to get it together first...etc."
Its vital to personally develop yourself, but I'm learning that there's never going to be this magical "green light" that will give me the go ahead.
Careful decisionmaking immersed in prayer is important.
For untold centuries, matchmakers served society for a simple reason: men and women cannot be depended on to do this on their own naturally. They might do it on their own, but sometimes the man is too much the gentleman and the woman too much the lady to make a move.
We should honestly go back to this… even if we can’t impact all of society at least have something like this at church to help believers figure this out. If I was single, I can’t imagine trying to figure it out alone in 2023 (almost 2024). I got lucky that I’m a generation older and got married 10 years ago when it was a lot more doable.
Comment: The book “From Lonely to Loved” echoes SO MANY pf the points you make!
My friend you are doing an incredible job. Keep up the work that is being set forward as your mission.
I am a slavic Christian woman- I tried to date american men but they don’t want to be in relationships without sex- it’s unthinkable for them. I just pray that God won’t leave me and He’ll get me through this life journey. I’d rather be single then in relationships doing ungodly things.
I'm not surprised. Dating and Marriage here sucks. Pray you find a man from your country lol. There's a gender war going on right now lol
Praise the Lord, I've shocked a lot of girls and got rejected because I dont want to have sex until marriage as God designs. Stay strong and have faith! God will never leave nor forsake you!
I"m surprised that happened to you. I was used by my ex bf for car rides, food, and gifts. He didn't do that much. Guess everyone has their own experiences.@@matthewlopez8521
Ok but is it "no sex till marriage" or "no sex at all" cause ain't no man alive gonna be with you if you aren't ever gonna sleep together.
@@TainyaGaming lol facts, denying your husband of sex is actually not biblical
You’re perspective on dating apps gives me such a sigh of relief as I hear more and more stories about people meeting their person online I recently met someone online and definitely agree as a women I feel it’s not “naturally romantic” but he is literally everything I’ve been praying for for so so longgg
Les go, he brought the music vibes back!
Wait he’s married now?!?!?! I thought he was still single! I’ve been away for a while then lol
Thanks for this Video, I love that following god and finding truth go hand in hand🙏🏻
You're a dawg for making these videos. Thanks man
As a single, this is so refreshing to hear, thank you
Appreciate the video good Sir, this topic needs more focus from ministry leaders as they help their flocks navigate the world of dating
Bro I regret not subscribing to this channel for years😭. I keep digging myself into the same hole every year, but with your videos I will be encouraged to get back on track.
Well done on this new channel bro, fantastic.
Thank you brother for the advice, God bless.
Boy, this is a popular subject! 10,000+ have been watching this in less than 24hours!
I love this reinforcement.
A lot of this I agree with but dating apps are absolutely horrendous. God will make a way where you think there's no clear path. All you have to do is follow him and the Holy Spirit will lead you not a dating algorithm.
Easier said than done, my brother in Christ.
@@CarbideSix I wouldn't overcomplicate it. Putting 100% trust in God will never fail you. It's not easy but I believe it builds you more than doomscrolling for a date.
Dating apps are just another place people meet. I know plenty of people who met their Christian spouses on there.
@@garrettebesOk let me know when God provides you a wife lol. I'll be meeting Christian women on dating apps. Good luck
@@officialthomasjamesand on that app, those “Christian” w/o/men were all born again virgins, right?😂
Really good pieces of advise, appreciate it!!😅
Thank you for this 👏👏 I feel like more Christian men need to see this type of content because they’re not being taught in church… and I feel like my mission scares them off because they don’t know their own mission or that they should even have one 😅
You can help some men understand as well. There are men who just don't know how to talk to women. I know I didn't heck. I still don't half the time. Ask lady freinds for advice or their input on certain things. Such as for example, not long ago, a woman complimented my overalls, and we were talking. She was smiling a lot actually made me happy to talk to probably one of the only women who could make me smile. That's how broken and tired I was. She would touch my shoulder a lot she doesn't do that with the other guys in the church group. She even taped my shoulder multiple times in a row like a kid. I asked my lady friend about it and she definitely thinks she likes me. Not all men have a lady freind to help out with stuff like that. They usually end up relying on not such good sources such as the internet or their one friend that is a player. I am gonna ask to sit with her at the club and see what happens. I am honestly excited and terrified at the same time.
(M23) Heads up, let’s make sure that we don’t completely equate church involvement with biblical depth and connection with the Holy Spirit, both with ourselves and our perspective partners!
Hi there... I really appreciate your channel and what you have been doing. Some feedback is that I would love to see more scripture and how everything you say aligns with the word of God. Gods word should be our ultimate guidance as we navigate our lives, especially in dating and relationships.
Great suggestion. Though it is difficult relating exact scriptures to dating, as dating is a novel concept and did not exist in Biblical times. People just married the 1st and best available and prayed for God to take care of the rest. Very distant from today.
@@Infrazale Although I understand that culture has changed ... The word says, in 2 Timothy 3:14-17 All Scripture is God breathed
and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in
righteousness, so that the man of God may be equipped for every good
work.
And we know that Jesus is the same yesterday today and forever, (Hebrews 13:8). So as believers we can draw from scripture and apply the same principles even when it doesn't necessarily talk about dating, using apps, or anything of the modern world.
The principles are the same.
Excellent comment@@jeneferrojas9771
Hey, really enjoyed the video. Just some constructive criticism: I think the outro music is a bit too loud at the end. It drowns out your voice. Other than that, great job 👍
"Men Should Make the First Move"
Ruth was the one who first initiated the romantic relationship with Boaz. There are exceptions to this rule.
"Don’t Be Afraid to Change Your Life If You Wanna Get Married"
Seek first the Kingdom of Heaven, and all these things shall be given to you as well.
"Dating Apps Are a Good Option"
Depends on whether or not you're fluent in the ways of social media and have a large part of your life on social media. If not, then it's typically best not to do so.
"Talk About S3x in Dating Stage, Not Pre-Marital Stage"
But not first or third dating stage... That's just pushing it...
"Get Referrals from Friends"
Better yet, from parents and family. Since the marriage life is shared in the domestic sphere, it's a good idea to see how their relationship with their parents and the family they live with are.
"Attraction Is More Important Than Your Friends Think and Less Important Than You Think"
Attraction is important period. We're called to give and serve genuinely, and to love God and others. We can't willingly fulfill the calling of marriage for our spouses if we're not willing to do so, and a large part of the willing part comes from attraction.
Good stuff
I’m 22 and it’s hard sometimes to find God fearing men but I know that they are out there and God will ordain my steps in His perfect timing.🙏🏼💜
It’s hard to find reformed baptists who are in their 20s. Everybody’s married in my church. lol
Just imagine how hard it is in your 30s, brother! I converted five years ago when I was 31 and I'm still trying to find a worthwhile, godly woman who is willing to marry me.
I'm saving myself for marriage and doing this God way even if it is not popular 🙏 🙌
Amen!!!!!!!!!
My biggest issue is that no one in my age range is intrested in dating. They are either taken already or enjoying the blessing of being single.
I also wrestle with the struggle of knowing Gods love is enough and trying to be content in my life, yet i feel so alone and unloved.
“In my age range” age gaps have been a thing forever and now the current narrative is to find someone your age and people wonder why that doesn’t work. You don’t understand the men and women want different things that require different amounts of time to obtain. Stick to what works.
I recommend dating younger, but women are so age prejudiced it probably won't help, sorry. 😎
Christians are just a group of mice caught in a trap,Because one slice of cheese is free.
Maybe my words seem harsh to you, but if you think about it, they are words that awaken people from the error of paganism.
Try to think about whether humans were created in this world without problems???
The reality is, is one human being with another human being willing to bear the burden of this problem???
Then one of the others runs away from responsibility for their personal problems and hands over their personal problems to someone else???
Until finally you will continue to be lost in an environment of sin even though you have paid tithe tax for your pendency of sin to the church authorities.
Well in the words of paul "but because of the prevalence of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife and each woman her own husband, for it is better to be married than to be inflamed with passion". Not everyone is cut out for being single
@@ModelJames13 I'm 22, turning 23 this summer. The maximum age for a woman that I can see myself potentially dating is 30. I personally don't mind dating an slightly older woman as long as our interests and faith aligns.
Great video, in fact these shouldn’t be “hot takes” but common sense!
Amen 😊
good video
Great video, and i applaud you for bringing this topic up, as it's needed. My only pushback would be on point #2, get out of your comfort zone, yes absolutely, but don't overstep your boundaries, or don't go too far out of your area of expertise. For example: if you know absolutely nothing about basketball, don't go to basketball games with the hopes of finding a woman. Only women that you'll find there are women who know the game well, and they'll be able to tell you know nothing about it and you're just pretending. Get out of your comfort zone, but still within your realm. Church events are great, singles groups are great, as you'll find a commonality there. Regardless though, find out what kind of social events/activities are catered to your interests, hobbies, line of work, and skillset, and try to mingle in those environments. You're more likely to catch a fish that likes the type of bait you're using that way.
Nice nuanced take on #2
As a guy in my 30s who's never been in a relationship and will never be in one, I do deeply sympathize with the lonely and desperate men out there who want nothing more in life than to be in a relationship and get married. I'm so ridiculously blessed to not have that desire and am emotionally content that it makes me feel sorry for the men who aren't happy because I certainly didn't do anything to be feeling happily single forever.
You are so blessed!
Are you using all that extra time to advance the kingdom ?
I think it’s beyond great that you’re choosing to be single, heck Paul the Apostle was single! However, I don’t think you or anyone should frown upon men/ women who DESIRE to be married and with kids, etc.
God made man then said, “it’s not good for man to be alone” so he made a “perfect help” [Las Ezer] which was a woman!
In my current stage of life, I have no desire of being in a relationship, but I know - and I believe this is the same for you; that when God sends a perfect match, your opinion will change.
Lucky bastard. I wish God would take away the sex drive.
Songs from watching this video
"Courageous" by casting crowns
"Oh my dear" by tenth avenue north
Point 5 is great and all, but what if all your friends are single themselves and/or Catholic (I’m Baptist)?
Dating apps sounds so scary!! But I’ll try it!! I got out of a relationship 2 months ago and it’s been so hard but I love these tips! Sorry I know this channel is for men but I find it helpful too! Haha
Dating apps, aren't it. From my experience, a lot of women just match because they like the validation.
Just be careful and go with intent!!! Never linger on girls who don't like up with your morals, even visibly. I hope it goes well!
Something I have been struggling recently was relapsing back into porn I am a day clean. I think for a lot of Christian men that are in the range of 18-25 I think is one of the hardest things to deal with, especially when it is should’ve in your face constantly with social media, movies, tv shows. 1 thing I kind of disagree with is the dating app such as tinder, it would get me tempted into going back into porn so I urge those in the age range of 18-25 who struggle with porn as well or struggling to stay out of it to refrain from dating apps for a little bit until we get cleaned from it, and know how to refrain ourselves from it.
Christians are just a group of mice caught in a trap,Because one slice of cheese is free.
Maybe my words seem harsh to you, but if you think about it, they are words that awaken people from the error of paganism.
Try to think about whether humans were created in this world without problems???
The reality is, is one human being with another human being willing to bear the burden of this problem???
Then one of the others runs away from responsibility for their personal problems and hands over their personal problems to someone else???
Until finally you will continue to be lost in an environment of sin even though you have paid tithe tax for your pendency of sin to the church authorities.
Except for the dating apps part, great points. Do you agree that men could also attempt to find a practicing Christian wife overseas?
My experience with dating apps (like most average men) has been awful. Even the "Christian" ones are a scary pitfall. Way too many men which causes women to be selective and superficial with their choices. This means if you're not a well established 6'0+ chad you're feeding off scraps. My recommendation is to work on yourself, pray, and the right one will come along.
If you want a womanpursue a woman. “Work on yourself, pray and the right one will come along” is the wrong mindset. Don’t expect a woman just to come up to you and if a girl does that run because that’s a jezebel.
Being 6'0 only gets you laid, it won't help you get a wife unfortunately. Trust me. I slept around with women in college and that is what they seek. A real woman seeks your heart- which is hopefully molded as closely to Christ's as possible. Sounds stupid and corny, but it is true.
@@noahbratset4417 It is not the wrong mindset. Most solid relationships start organically through irl experience. No one wants to "pursue" 304s claiming to the Christian on dating apps. Unlike women, men retain sexual value for much longer. Working on yourself is great advice for young men because they can increase their value and marry younger women later on.
@@thebeltingbalaclava4798No, men usually can't marry younger women later on, because women are very age prejudiced. The only good time to find a wife is in your 20's. After that your chances are slim and it doesn't matter what your value is.
I see this thing about height commented a lot, and I just want to say as a woman with lots of female Christian friends on the apps… it simply isn’t the case. If a girl has good values she won’t be judging based on height. You don’t want the girls who do anyways so you’ve lost nothing. Men underestimate just how important it is to make a good/balanced profile that shows you have friends/family, hobbies and/or like animals. Over half of profiles don’t meet this standard. Most women post-school want a man who has a consistent job or studying for a degree or trade. Make sure any captions or “about me” blurbs are only positive in tone and actually reveal something about your personality, not just catchy/funny phrases or jokes. Say you’re a nice guy dedicated to his faith with good family values looking for a partner to do life with. And try not to make negative comments regarding dating or women generally or about your life until you have been on at least a couple of dates and she knows you a bit better to be able to understand. Confidence is 90% of the battle. Make your first message about something she wrote and not about her looks. I hope this helps if you decide to try again
@10:40 ; so he realizes that it's bad logic when people say it about attraction, but when it comes to knowing about the kind of intimacy your partner likes before deciding to get married...
I have met a few women on dating apps but they never want anything serious.
Not really a dating app, but I met my now ex-girlfriend on a Facebook singles group and one thing I learn from it was make sure the woman you're seeing doesn't have old photos of her previous exes if you're entering a romantic relationship with her. Also, make sure you are actually talking to her instead of texting all the time because they might be hiding something.
Hey man was just curious about your point about the photos of exes. I ask because I have a few polaroids with my ex girlfriend and old photos on my phone.
Just curious about why you might find that destructive. There’s definitely room for jealousy and I can see that as a valid reason but I’d like to know more about your experience!
I’m interested in dating a girl who doesn’t have any relationship experiences. She seems interested as well. I feel as though my previous relationships may be a field of insecurity for her, should we choose to date, and I’d like to help that situation.
Thanks!
@@BDubMakes Well, it’s because I don’t want to cause any issues and my ex was aware about the images of her ex. The first time I noticed it didn’t bother me as much, but as soon as one of my grandparents mentioned it, I felt like I needed to say something about it. Another reason why the relationship failed is it was long distance. My ex lived in Indiana and I live Texas. I was supposed visit her this year but we broke up in January and the week before my birthday. I was able to see her at a church conference in St Louis but we didn’t talk much.
I tried a dating app for a few weeks and any guy that had in his profile that he was a Christian would write me awful comments. I was shocked. A few even said that no Godly man wants anything to do with someone who has been divorced especially someone with a kid. Zero interest in who I am and my character.....it was instant judgement.
Tbh, theres so much baggage that isnt even sexual that i think shouldve been brought up but i was completely unaware that it could affect it so immediately. Oh, and this was a friendship
I agree that men should make the first move and men(myself included) are afraid of rejection. There’s a girl at my church I’m interested in who’s in the same Bible study but I’m afraid to ask her out due to it possibly being awkward at church if she does say no. Would it be weird for my friends to ask her her thoughts about me or should I just go and put myself out there?
This is a really good question and is never emphasized on how it should be done.
As a male, some of the things that I think are very practical ways to do this is to spend time outside of the Bible study with her and other members of the Bible study. This could be done in many ways and depends on the members of the Bible study and how big it is but usually if it’s people around your age it’s really easy to suggest maybe like a little trip/retreat to go together as a group. Talking to her and hanging out with her more you should be able to see signs that 1.she is available/ready for a relationship, 2. She shares similar goals/values that align with what God has been speaking to you as well. After doing these things and spending more time you should be able to see some clues and hints and most importantly throughout this process ask God and pray to him and give thanks to him every step of the way. (1st Thess 5:16-18)
As for the question regarding asking her friend to ask her is not something that I recommend. If I were in the girls shoes I would much rather hear it from you personally though this depends on the person and if you can’t take initiative to ask her it would be hard for you to lead the family in the future.
In conclusion, many practical ways do exist but the best way is to just continue asking God and praying to him throughout this process.
Hope this helped and may God continue to bless you in every step!
Jeremiah 29:11
@@machoman3055 I wouldn’t have her friend tell her how I feel, maybe ask her how she feels about me but I do see your point. Going somewhere with her and others from our Bible study outside of church is such a good idea. We have actually done that before and that was where her and I had a started to get to know each other. I’m the youth leader at our church and I asked her if she’d like to be a chaperone at the annual youth conference coming up(which is a whole weekend) and she said yes. I’m very excited about it because that is one place I can really get to know her more. Thank you for the good advice!
bro as a girl just pleaseeeee ask her out@@garbagecandan5613
I agree with the first move thing, but many men are too nervous to shoot the first shot. I think it can still be good if the woman shows interest or shoots the first shot, then after that the man takes over with pursuing. The only issue is that men can be dense to women’s hints.
Well, I think women should always make the first move, but in a non bold way. "Accidentally" dropping something would be one of those. It's not necessarily making the first move, but it helps the men make the "first move." Personally I don't need that, but it really does help some other guys who struggle with it
❤️❤️❤️
Im struggling, I do currently have a gf. But she is not at the same point of faith where I am. She is definitely not aligned with my mission. All began when she literally showed me she didn't believe in God, I mean, she didn't even know what believing in God truly was. Today, she has grown lots towards her faith but still not at my level. She finds lots of things still weird, like praising or chanting to God, which I love. This is making me sick, the overhtinking, dont wanting tonhurt her, cause I really don't know how to break up, we have been together for 3 and a half years, and her progress has made this so much harder. I don't know what to do, someone that has any advice?
Ive made the first move in the past and it failed every single time. Im sick of making the first move. If some girl is interested, which none are they can make the first move. If God even wanted me in a marriage which i finally understand that I'll never be worthy of, then he can bring her to my front door. Until then I'll stay home and play video games when im not at my crap underpaying job.
On number 6 there is an editing miss
My personal take is for dating as a Christian who has made every mistake possible when it comes to trying to court a woman. Number one is they actually have to like you before you try to ask them out. Making the mistake of thinking o she is beautiful and I like her I should ask for her number. Guess what she will reject you almost every time because she doesn't know you. How do you know if she likes you? She will keep looking at you and will quickly change her gaze when you look in her general direction. If they really like you, they may feel the need to come up to you and talk and maybe even touch you to get your attention. Also compliments that kinda seem out of the blue are sign as well. I was wearing overalls in a church club, and a woman came over and complimented my overalls. She also touched my shoulder to get my attention. She even triple touched my shoulder like a kid. This happened recently, so I am hoping for the best. I personally believe honestly is the best policy for all relationships. You also must be able to forgive each others mistakes even at the fragile points of the relationship, however, with reason. I have been in a couple of relationships before, and cheating is unacceptable. Also, being honest over stuff that may be uncomfortable at first because you will be dragging that baggage through the whole relationship.
I watch this channel as a young woman because it's good for raising standards. But I know this channel isn't FOR me, so take my opinion with a grain of salt.
I'm very on board with nearly everything you've said, though I will say the "men should initiate" thing - I mean, yeah. In a perfect world. Or even a better world. But it ain't it. It would be so nice, but I waited for 5 years for someone, anyone, to initiate. I was (and am) in biblestudies, active in my church, surrounded by Christian community and young men. And no young men ever initiated. Won't say it didn't hurt for a while, I had crushes and all that, but I believed anyone couldn't be a real man if he wouldn't man up and initiate. And eventually I got tired of it, and tried to make my affection known... couple times God gently went "nope" then once I did get to say "hey if you ever wanted to ask me out I'd say yes" - the asking went well, he was very chill about it, but obviously I scared him because he avoided me for weeks... anyway, point being, I realized it wasn't terrifying. Not really. So, I realized none of the men around me were interested in me, and honestly, all the ones I could be interested in were taken or - terrified of me, apparently. But I have this friend across the country and thought- why not shoot my shot. What's the worst that can happen?...long story short, one of the best decisions I've ever made. And I asked him if he ever thought about me, crush, anything, in the years we've been friends... and he said no, because I seemed too good for him. It would have been out of the question. But as soon as we decided this would be a thing, he has been intentional and taking initiative in our conversations and communication. He's still the man, but this relationship would never have started if I hadn't taken my future, my faith, and my life, which God has given me stewardship of, into my hands and taken action. I struggled with this for a while... then I read Ruth. There is a time and place. It isn't a less valid relationship if the lady initiates. But at the same time - yeah encourage young men to initiate, but also they should know that they aren't NECESSARILY lesser men if a lass reaches out to them.
Thanks for coming to my tedtalk 😂
Wow I enjoyed reading this :)
@TokioTE thank you, I'm glad :) thanks for replying as it gave me a reason to come back and reread it. I stand but everything I said but I would add the fact that just because the woman initiates the beginning, doesn't mean she's leading the whole relationship. I didn't ask him out, I showed I was willing to have interest (I legit didn't even have a crush when I reached out. I just knew he was a good christian guy and my friend and I'd be willing to try) All the other next steps I'm leaving to him. But I was active in starting. Because I am a person to. We're courting. I'm being courted. I'm being pursed. He is a man and leading this relationship... but I did help, which is my longterm goal anyway 😁😁
Isaiah, have you ever taught to make blind Christian blind date shows or just simple Christian date? Maybe so many Christians can find their bride or groom through such a show. Because there's no a good Christian date opportunity for the Christian.
@Men on mission Hey man! You forgot to edit out some parts in this video! Ref 10:10
You say this, all as if women are going to say yes to a date. The problem is Christian or not women have become so picky that just getting a date is so difficult.
Am 29 and never dated but tried dating apps didn’t work for me have a church i go to but everyone is either too young, married already or old people so had to branch out to other churches to not just find a special someone but to make more friendships and if i find a woman that is right one for me than cool if not alright im at peace with both outcomes
I can relate to this
I did the same thing this year........... and failed. Hope things work out for you. 😎
You shouldn't be expecting to meet your kingdom spouse only in church.
You should seek YAHWEH and be sensitive to HIS SPIRIT because obeying HIM and following HIS leading/guidance will lead you to your Spouse.
You shouldn't be expecting to meet your kingdom spouse only in church.
You should seek YAHWEH and be sensitive to HIS SPIRIT because obeying HIM and following HIS leading/guidance will lead you to your Spouse.
You shouldn't be expecting to meet your kingdom spouse only in church.
You should seek YAHWEH and be sensitive to HIS SPIRIT because obeying HIM and following HIS leading/guidance will lead you to your Spouse.
Ephesians 6:12 "12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities (Principal: an idea), against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. (: in the mind)
Demons are named as beings that spread misinformation as false ideas; thereby, trying to spark and encourage hate and wicked fear, and that not every voice or thought that pops into your head is yours.
Proverbs 4:23 "Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life."
I'm a Christian woman 👩 ans I want a God man going on the same direction 🙏 I had to learn how to submit and I had to learn how to submit to God way 🙏 💯 🙌
I actually wonder about the point about the guy initiating. I once agreed with that, but it seems to me in the Song of Solomon and also Ruth, that the woman initiates- albeit in a very sly way or roundabout way.
It’s important that the woman is open to being pursued, we can’t pursue a woman if she isn’t interested in being pursued- that spoils the relationship you have with her (and potentially others).
I think if a man sees a woman he really wants he should pursue her. But also if a woman sees a man she really wants she should pursue him. 😎
Women send signals, men pursue. The problem is that just like some men don't know how to pursue, some women don't know how to send clear signals, which just leaves us men confused. And yes, you can pursue a woman even if she hasn't showed any interest, but you better either be a Chad or prepared to put in the work to convince her of your value.
Man thanks for bringing up the attraction thing!
I have found this to be a terrible problem in the church. I don't watch porn. I clearly have no unrealistic expectations. I just think a lot of women have been told they'll become attractive to Christian men if they are spiritual and display virtuous qualities.
While this statement has truth to it because I'd select one woman over another based on this, it really is unrealistic to expect a man to go from no physical attraction whatsoever to madly in love or at least romantically interested because of it. If natural features are hidden in your face because of extra weight it might hinder the looks you get from men. That is the truth. This goes for guys too! I think God made us to be appealing to look at male and female. I have had the experience of seeing both Christian women of tremendous character who I'm not at all attracted to and also Christian women who I am attracted to. Unfortunately for me, each girl I pursued ultimately turned me down.
I think physical attraction is easier for a woman to develop for a man than for a man to develop for a woman over a period of time. It can happen though within reason. But I think the folks in the church forget about the distinct differences between male and female attraction when they give advice.
Here's my hot take: Don't even try for women who have a lot of male friends. Think about it- if she has 10 men who are "just friends" and no boyfriend, statistically speaking the odds that you'll actually get the girl are 10% or less. Your chances of getting "friend zoned"? Above 90%. And as a veteran Fire Emblem player, I know NOT to trust odds like those.
Hahaha fire emblem jokes!
My recommendation for any man is to keep in your prayers for God to prepare you a wife.
Whoever said "opposites attract" forgot to tell you the rest of the story.
maybe it works for secular people i.e. the Lost, but NOT for us the people of the TRIUNE LORD i.e. the Saved....😔
Thoughts about adam or isaac? they never asked for a woman nor made the first move. Gen 1 & Gen 24.
They were blessed. Us common folk have to do most of the hard stuff, like finding a wife, ourselves. 😎
Met this christian girl on a dating app and she seems truly perfect, i asked her out and i havent heard from her since
Women, am I right? 😎
Can anyone give me advice? I started using a christian dating app and I discovered that there is one problem... I can't be blunt and just ask the guys about the important things! I really want to be more open and clear with my boundaries but I can't even make myself ask the guy if he's dated anyone before or ask him anything personal! IF he's not asking me first or sharing anything about himself first... I noticed that it's easier to be straightforward if the guy is straightforward but if the texting is just getting nowhere without my initiative, I get disinterested quickly. So am I doing something wrong or should I really wait for the guy to start the honest convo first?
It is up to you ultimately. If you are texting a lot and both seem interested, just go ahead and ask him. He might not think to bring it up as it might not matter as much to him as it does to you. Personally, if I were him, I would want to know.
If those topics are important to you and the guys aren’t bringing them up then go ahead and ask. A lot of guys probably want to ask you those same questions. However with a lot of woman those questions would send the signal that he is too interested and they’ll lead to rejection.
If you can be straightforward like that without losing attraction guys are going to love it. Just look at all the comments in this video with guys hoping that a girl will make the first move
I encourage you to be you and speak your mind openly to men you are interested in. It's refreshing to us real men and know that you are serious. I personally have always been extremely upfront and blunt, but polite about my intentions and boundaries. However this led to a lot of rejection, which I had expected but it was still upsetting. Also I experienced that I, as the guy, actually had more boundaries/values than the women who were contacting me via dating apps. I don't socialize much, due to health issues and just isolation in general from bad experiences. So it's basically impossible for me to meet anyone. It's important to remember that no matter where you are in your faith, you won't be perfect. So it's OK to look for a partner to endure the journey of life with. This is something I have been struggling with because I want to be prepared for marriage but that could take 20 more years and I'm already 27! I don't want to rush into anything but I'd rather not be 40 and marry a 25 year old girl. It's important to me that she is younger and fertile so there are less complications when having a child. My mom had me when she was 34 and it was very awkward when my friends parents were much younger and more physically capable. Unfortunately my mom also had an accident and was disabled at age 36, so my childhood was impacted by that. Despite her disability she went above and beyond for me. My personality and all it's challenges is what kept her going everyday. I have never met another person who is as loving, even keeled, and truthful as her. She truly is the best mother anyone could ever ask for. I might not have been able to go and do a lot of fun physical activities like hiking, riding bikes or extravagant vacations with her but I was able to spend ever day with her because she didn't have to go to work. But this also meant we were extremely poor, but somehow we were never hungry or cold. I always had what I needed, and she always loved me. I am extremely blessed to have her in my life. I only wish that I could meet a woman like her to marry. Hopefully then I wont be alone when my mom passes away. Which I pray won't be anytime soon, even though she deserves the rest from all the pain she suffers with daily. I hope to offer my own children the same love and time my mother gave to me, but to also go above and beyond and try to give them even more. One place I feel my mom could have done better is by homeschooling me and gently exposing me to the Bible and to faith. She raised me with her values as a Christian but she never forced it on me. But I feel it was too relaxed and now that I am a born again believer, I wish I had known sooner. But like all things, God has a plan and his timing is never wrong. I hope this helps.
Jesus died for our sins so that we can go to heaven. He payed our price. Jesus didn’t come into the world to condemn the world but to save the world. Put your trust in Jesus Christ and he will grant you the gift of heaven. 💯
Am I the only one who didn’t know you got married?
please don't confuse finding and "pursuing" which also means chasing... Proverbs 31
Do not chase after women and lose your strength. Women like that have destroyed kings.
is them being also a Christian too high or too low of a standard? like that's my only standard if i ever start courting. I am 19 and do not think i am ready.
The Bible says the person you date/marry SHOULD be Christian, so your standard is 100% correct. 😎
I am in my mid 20's. Moved to a foreign country for work. Most people don't look like me. I serve in my church and serve Jesus. Christian dating hasn't really worked out for me. I am not hoping it will. I am not hoping that it won't either. As long as the Lord is satisfied, I am cool with it. Plus, if you've asked a couple women out, and they said no, the chances of anyone else saying yes drop. And I have already asked 3 and been on date with 1. Lol.
Pray about your kingdom spouse and RUACH HA-KODESH (HOLY SPIRIT) will lead you to your kingdom spouse. There's no need asking women out in which YAHWEH hasn't approved. Seek YAHWEH first.
@@Naturallife7. You know that RUACH is NOT NAME...
YAHYESHUA bless His people, not false prophets and wolves in sheepskin.
🙃
Which women want to be the pursuers 😭
How do you feel about long distance dating?
Complete waste of time. 😎
I agree that I believe men also are supposed to be the leaders and should be the pursuers and sex should be talked about before marriage; even if both people are virgins there might be things that need to be talked about.
I don't agree with dating apps but as you stated it's due to personal experience. But dating apps take away the intimacy of dating in my opinion; it's a person behind a screen. You said you met your wife on a dating app....but technically you kinda sorta knew her. You knew you were interested in her based on a real life encounter. That's not the case for mostttt people unfortunately.
Anyways, to all singles I believe if we are meant to be married, God's timing is perfect. You can't hide in the house all day and expect to meet someone. But if your on your christian journey and working on who God called you to be, I believe what God has for you will be for you!
I like tis channel but Im goona have to disagree with the dating apps one, I know dating apps just encourages people to cheat, and when they already have a partner not be satisfied the instinct to "look more" and all that shii nah man
what is an appropriate age at which to start dating? just curious
I am not a pastor or anything but I would say 18 years old. Anything before that and you are much too influenced by your bodies hormonal changes. You should also worry less about age, and more about maturity and closeness to God.
I’m 20 and I can’t find any Christian women. Their all either taken, or in there 60s, or if I do find one on the dating app there 300 miles away. I’m doomed bro.
There is nothing wrong with a girl saying she is interested in a guy. That is not pursuing, that is just being a honest person as God calls us all to be.
Where to find an egalitarian partner?
I'm hoping on God to find me my Christian husband
A man after God's heart not just the one who claims to go to church
Honestly, I really don’t think that there is a lot of Christian dating advice for men out there there.. I can count one or two channels that talk about it but that’s about it..
Don’t be afraid to check out heavily Christian countries. The US isn’t as Christian as it used to be, and traveling can improve your dating experience
Hi please, could you present me a man (40 years old
Opinion #1: I think it's very dangerous to have the opinion of "this is how it always has to be" with something that has so much triviality in it. You make a couple good points on the courage and laziness thing, and generally, I think men should be making the first move, but sometimes thats not the case. You'll have women that just come up and approach men sometimes and has nothing to do with the man not having courage or being lazy, so just be careful with absolutes in this situation is what I would suggest.
Opinion #2: This is actually really good advice, a lot of my friends could actually benefit from this.
Opinion #3: Absolutely agree. Met my girlfriend on a dating app, and the person I had dated for a short time before her. It's difficult for some men who don't stand out in some ways, and I think you have to be careful to not put so much of your self worth into it that you get destroyed when it doesn't work, but use it as an outlet for God to possibly place someone in your life.
Opinion #4: Definitely agree, I think that to some extent it needs to be talked about early on, and a lot of Christians are very hesitant to talk about this. It's very important, so you need to figure some of that stuff out earlier on.
Opinion #5: Not really a hot take here, pretty fair.
Opinion #6: Agree here, basically I think that you can grow to think someone is more beautiful after knowing them, thats the case in my experience. However, attraction is certainly important, for a while I've approached this as a matter of I want my wife to be a big example of how beauty is an intrinsic element of God's creation. It does make it hard with the unrealistic body standards and things like that. Between the pornography and my first actual girlfriend being in very very good shape, it's been a weird point of being with someone who isn't quite like that, but still being very attracted to her even knowing she wasn't that "type".
Good comment!
1 Corinthians 7:26-28
26.Because of the present crisis, I think it is good for a man to remain as he is. 27.Are you committed to a wife? Do not seek to be released. Are you free of commitment? Do NOT look for a wife. 28.But if you do marry, you have not sinned.
Half of the things you talked (seeking a wife) about goes against this scripture.
Guys should focus on their relationship with The Most High and not make the same mistake Adam did in the Garden.
I love how Christians never can agree on how to get married or even IF to get married or how to date. That's why Christian dating is a mess. I'm this close to just marrying a secular woman
@@LongWalker730 The point is that you should first seek the Kingdom of God
Matthew 6:33 KJV
33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
The Most High knows everything about you including your heart's desire and he is a loving father who has your best interest in mind ALWAYS. So first you should cultivate that relationship and he will give you other relationships that will cultivate you. Seeking such relationships your own way will only lead you into misery and sin away from the path that God has for you. Thanks be to God he is merciful and understanding and faithful.
God bless.
1:13
For me, I don't know that it's always so much about laziness. Women a lot of times will say, "I'm sending all these signals." They'll rely on "signals" instead of just saying something directly. That's why I would appreciate a woman just making a move.
Yeah this conception of men being "lazy" to pursue is a cop out to me.
There's a ton of women that will sit and claim men need to "be bold and step up" but apparently are too afraid to step up and make their desire and intentions known oenly. And it's convenient because the excuse you'll often hear is "well it's intimidating for a woman to put themselves on the line like that. What happens if the woman gets rejected?" Yeah.... welcome to a man's world. Where you're a coward or a loser unless the woman actually reciprocates.
Hey brother, you’re gonna have to learn to pick up on those “signals”. Or gain the confidence to express interest and see how she reacts. Sending “signals” is the most she can do while remaining feminine. Asking her to make the first move is asking her to become masculine, thats going to kill any attraction. If learn what to look for, then slow down and watch, it’ll be easy to pick up on signals.
I used to hope for the same thing, but it’s not going to happen. At least not with the type of woman you want.
How is a woman making thw first move masculine? Woman making the first move in a lot of ways is cultural. In other cultures like Japan, China. Middle East, many woman make the attempt. I think a lot of people paint what's cultural as biblical when I see no explicit command teaching that men have to pursue and women shouldn't
As a woman I send “signals” to hopefully give a man confidence and the realization that I’m interested in him so he can have a reason in making the first move. For two reasons
1. As a woman, I think it’s the man’s job IN GENERAL (not always) to pursue me. I don’t want to do the pursuing.
2. I’m all for helping a guy make the 1st move w/o him having to wonder “does she even enjoy my presence” :)❤
@@FEEFS.you won’t pursue unless it’s Chad or Tyrone, then you’ll just w/h/0re yourself out
On dating sites, even if they could work for you, the question is do these sites facilitate same-sex relationships? If so we shouldn't be supporting them. Christian Connection, for example, allows men to search for men, women for women etc. I spoke to them about it and they said they are legally obliged to do this. But the law shouldn't compel you to do things that go against the faith. By having a "Christian" site that facilitates same sex relationships, it's sending a message that these things are acceptable for Christians. It would be better for them to shut the site down than to do that. I will never use a site that facilitates sin and will just trust God to honour that.