Our pastor recently ran a course based on Dr Van Epp's R.A.M. model, which perfectly explains how a healthy relationship goes from dating (know) to exclusive "relationship" (trust/rely) to engagement (commit) to marriage (touch). If any of those are not increased in order (e.g. if touch is before commit or trust is before know), the relationship can quickly turn unhealthy.
All I can tell you is that if I try dating, I'm miserable. If I stay single and don't date at all, I have peace. I'm not happy, but I pretty much gave up on that years ago.
To me it could be much simpler, just communicate with intentionality, and if you're a Christian not dating intentionally for marriage, GET OFF OF SALT PLEASE!!!! Lordy.
I find these discussions interesting, however when I hear women talk about dating, I often feel they do not appreciate the difficulties some men face in dating. Many men, Christian or otherwise, struggle to any dates at all, with the onus being on the man to ask the girl out, and first of all get an interaction started and keep it going long enough for this to be appropriate. Some men, despite their best efforts, only get the occasional first date, which never goes anywhere and get told 'no chemistry', and don't have the luxury of getting to decide on the pace, etc. I would really like to see the women here acknowledge the difficulties men face, and show some appreciation for this.
TBH if we do dating as the Bible says it we won't have the high rate of separation and divorce we have today. As much as possible avoid the kissing cos it would lead to sex and then the bed becomes defiled, and the foundation is destroyed and the marriage will most likely become a disaster because the family is built on a faulty foundation. I learnt the hard way. 😢😊
I don't know if I understood when was said "I don't mind kissing pre boyfriend and girlfriend". That means openness to date pre-boyfriends and pre-girlfriends and make physical intimacy with them? If yes, I have a question: Is Salt an app who supports lgtb mindset? I will be grateful if I have the pleasure of having a kindly and honest response, it's very important to me to know clearly if Salt supports traditional Christianity or Christian sexual diversity or both
Lauren talked about dating as a stage where you're exploring whether there are romantic feelings involved and she would be open to that stage being with more than one person, but as soon as physical intimacy is involved it's time to make it exclusive (or make it official boyfriend / girlfriend) as clearly there is a romantic connection. As for LGTB question, the app leaves users to define their own preferences as each person is on their own journey with God and living according to their personal convictions
@@be_salt @be_salt The truth on the lgbt issue is not politically correct, and the truth is that lgbt journey is not the path of God, of course God can forgive abominable sins of the flesh, but only if someone regret of his sins and not if he is proud of them. Its really heartbreaking and soulbreaking when someone who is tired of the sins, tendencies, ideologies and abominations of this world and finds God in the Church and feels a relieve, but then that person sees and hears priest or pastors supporting and speaking about so called "sexual diversity, climate change, equality"..etc and not preaching about really godly important things truth based. The same when someone finds a place that seems to be a safe place for people who seek God and truth and love but finds the same things that he really fed up with, it's really hearthbreaking and soul breaking. They say that everybody has to respect feelings of everyone (everyone who feel things like being a woman when he was born man) but the same people are shooting at our Christian values with cannon balls, they don't have any pity, but I prefer them rather than fake "Christians" that shot us from behind also from inside the Church and having high hierarchy positions, at least the first ones, those who oppenly hate us aim us in front. Porn, feminism, lgbt propaganda and of course dechristianization of societies are highly related with highest rates of deppression. There is a lot of false doctrines disguished as noble causes. God exists and also demons. *I didn't say any lie or anything wich deserves to be erased 😅. Blessings
Interested to know how long you think is appropriate to be chatting before actually meeting?? For me its 8 weeks but someone had mentioned to me they thought it was too long ❤
I think it really depends on the stage of life you're in and how well you communicate. And also if they're a long distance away. But yeah, video call helps a lot. If it goes well then talking on the phone is a million times better than text. But as a woman, we have to be more guarded and stay safe, lots of weirdos and creeps are on salt too, and men who are impatient are are probably immature and inconsiderate of a woman's concern of safety. Meeting people on an app is way different than if I just met you in a store and could get a feel for their energy, safe or not safe.
@CMD_Line friendship, dating, love, marriage, is not fast food dude. Take time to build. Also people have lives outside of salt. 48 hours 😂. Patience is not only a virtue, but one of the fruits of the spirit. Also, you should consider that a woman is taking her safety very seriously while online dating, she's not going to be quick to meet up or even give her number out to God knows who. And also, rushing is usually a red flag.
@@keh-dalia809 first I’m in no rush for a relationship or anything more, if someone was pushing that then yes a red flag, second, doesn’t take much time for a bit of chat, third if you’re getting on have a telephone call or a video chat. All safe and no pressure, who wants to send messages forever. Appreciate a woman needs to feel safe, no harm in that, video calls or video chat help. It’s about the initial stages and seeing likes, dislikes and common grounds, hobbies etc. friendly stuff, then you can think this is worth maybe a call and go from there. You could speak for weeks and never progress, that’s all. I don’t need some fruits of the spirit lecture about patience, marriage should never be rushed and should be friendship first, but you’re on salt looking to date right? The point is to get to a date and then you can think, yeah I liked that, maybe again, or not I think it’s best not. Typical judgement comment.
If you mean texting, it's easy to lie or miscommunicate. You don't know that person. So I keep it to a minimum and to arranging plans. If you mean chat on the phone or video, I know some people who do it, and nothing wrong, but I don't. I only talk to my closest friends and family on the phone, so to me it's more intimate than meeting up (friends and family can withstand silence). If a guy insist on video-calling first, I decline willing to walk away. It puts me off if he doesn't want to put in effort to dress up, come out and pay for a cup of coffee.
Do you guys know any Christian demisexuals? Could be an interesting perspective to hear from someone who doesn't feel attraction until a deep emotional connection is made.
Demisexual is a construct made by gender ideology (ill-matched with christianity). Love is feeling attraction with emocional connection and healthy feelings, love is not "love", matrimonial true love (between men and women) is Love. Gender ideology made too much harm in families, kids, healthy relationships and societies and it's linked with high rates of deppression. Please don't speak Newspeak if you don't want to seems as a dystopic nightmare supporter of 1984 mixed with Brave New World
Demisexual is a construct made by gender ideology (ill-matched with Christianity). Love is feeling attraction with emocional connection and healthy feelings, love is not "love", matrimonial true love (between men and women) is Love. Gender ideology made too much harm in families, kids, healthy relationships and societies and it's linked with high rates of deppression. Please don't speak Newspeak if you don't want to seems as a dystopic nightmare supporter of 1984 mixed with Brave New World. Get rid of false doctrines and seek the Truth
Our pastor recently ran a course based on Dr Van Epp's R.A.M. model, which perfectly explains how a healthy relationship goes from dating (know) to exclusive "relationship" (trust/rely) to engagement (commit) to marriage (touch). If any of those are not increased in order (e.g. if touch is before commit or trust is before know), the relationship can quickly turn unhealthy.
That sounds like a really useful framework
This is brilliant 📌
All I can tell you is that if I try dating, I'm miserable. If I stay single and don't date at all, I have peace. I'm not happy, but I pretty much gave up on that years ago.
Helpful chat 👍👍 Would be super to have an equivalent 'man' chat on this topic. Have a great wknd!
To me it could be much simpler, just communicate with intentionality, and if you're a Christian not dating intentionally for marriage, GET OFF OF SALT PLEASE!!!! Lordy.
I find these discussions interesting, however when I hear women talk about dating, I often feel they do not appreciate the difficulties some men face in dating. Many men, Christian or otherwise, struggle to any dates at all, with the onus being on the man to ask the girl out, and first of all get an interaction started and keep it going long enough for this to be appropriate. Some men, despite their best efforts, only get the occasional first date, which never goes anywhere and get told 'no chemistry', and don't have the luxury of getting to decide on the pace, etc. I would really like to see the women here acknowledge the difficulties men face, and show some appreciation for this.
This is so sweet , thank you 🎉 i loved the last few minutes specially
TBH if we do dating as the Bible says it we won't have the high rate of separation and divorce we have today. As much as possible avoid the kissing cos it would lead to sex and then the bed becomes defiled, and the foundation is destroyed and the marriage will most likely become a disaster because the family is built on a faulty foundation. I learnt the hard way. 😢😊
I don't know if I understood when was said "I don't mind kissing pre boyfriend and girlfriend". That means openness to date pre-boyfriends and pre-girlfriends and make physical intimacy with them? If yes, I have a question: Is Salt an app who supports lgtb mindset? I will be grateful if I have the pleasure of having a kindly and honest response, it's very important to me to know clearly if Salt supports traditional Christianity or Christian sexual diversity or both
Lauren talked about dating as a stage where you're exploring whether there are romantic feelings involved and she would be open to that stage being with more than one person, but as soon as physical intimacy is involved it's time to make it exclusive (or make it official boyfriend / girlfriend) as clearly there is a romantic connection.
As for LGTB question, the app leaves users to define their own preferences as each person is on their own journey with God and living according to their personal convictions
@@be_salt @be_salt The truth on the lgbt issue is not politically correct, and the truth is that lgbt journey is not the path of God, of course God can forgive abominable sins of the flesh, but only if someone regret of his sins and not if he is proud of them.
Its really heartbreaking and soulbreaking when someone who is tired of the sins, tendencies, ideologies and abominations of this world and finds God in the Church and feels a relieve, but then that person sees and hears priest or pastors supporting and speaking about so called "sexual diversity, climate change, equality"..etc and not preaching about really godly important things truth based.
The same when someone finds a place that seems to be a safe place for people who seek God and truth and love but finds the same things that he really fed up with, it's really hearthbreaking and soul breaking.
They say that everybody has to respect feelings of everyone (everyone who feel things like being a woman when he was born man) but the same people are shooting at our Christian values with cannon balls, they don't have any pity, but I prefer them rather than fake "Christians" that shot us from behind also from inside the Church and having high hierarchy positions, at least the first ones, those who oppenly hate us aim us in front.
Porn, feminism, lgbt propaganda and of course dechristianization of societies are highly related with highest rates of deppression. There is a lot of false doctrines disguished as noble causes. God exists and also demons.
*I didn't say any lie or anything wich deserves to be erased 😅. Blessings
@@Marco-hr3wp100% agree with you!
Interested to know how long you think is appropriate to be chatting before actually meeting?? For me its 8 weeks but someone had mentioned to me they thought it was too long ❤
Think it's good advice to try and turn it into a video call / date IRL sooner rather than later.
I think it really depends on the stage of life you're in and how well you communicate. And also if they're a long distance away. But yeah, video call helps a lot. If it goes well then talking on the phone is a million times better than text. But as a woman, we have to be more guarded and stay safe, lots of weirdos and creeps are on salt too, and men who are impatient are are probably immature and inconsiderate of a woman's concern of safety. Meeting people on an app is way different than if I just met you in a store and could get a feel for their energy, safe or not safe.
@CMD_Line friendship, dating, love, marriage, is not fast food dude. Take time to build. Also people have lives outside of salt. 48 hours 😂. Patience is not only a virtue, but one of the fruits of the spirit. Also, you should consider that a woman is taking her safety very seriously while online dating, she's not going to be quick to meet up or even give her number out to God knows who. And also, rushing is usually a red flag.
@@keh-dalia809 first I’m in no rush for a relationship or anything more, if someone was pushing that then yes a red flag, second, doesn’t take much time for a bit of chat, third if you’re getting on have a telephone call or a video chat. All safe and no pressure, who wants to send messages forever. Appreciate a woman needs to feel safe, no harm in that, video calls or video chat help. It’s about the initial stages and seeing likes, dislikes and common grounds, hobbies etc. friendly stuff, then you can think this is worth maybe a call and go from there. You could speak for weeks and never progress, that’s all.
I don’t need some fruits of the spirit lecture about patience, marriage should never be rushed and should be friendship first, but you’re on salt looking to date right? The point is to get to a date and then you can think, yeah I liked that, maybe again, or not I think it’s best not.
Typical judgement comment.
If you mean texting, it's easy to lie or miscommunicate. You don't know that person. So I keep it to a minimum and to arranging plans. If you mean chat on the phone or video, I know some people who do it, and nothing wrong, but I don't. I only talk to my closest friends and family on the phone, so to me it's more intimate than meeting up (friends and family can withstand silence). If a guy insist on video-calling first, I decline willing to walk away. It puts me off if he doesn't want to put in effort to dress up, come out and pay for a cup of coffee.
I notice Christian relationships move quickly into marriage, I always think its so they can be intimate 😂
It's true sometimes they move so fast
Do you guys know any Christian demisexuals? Could be an interesting perspective to hear from someone who doesn't feel attraction until a deep emotional connection is made.
I don't think we know anyone but could be really interesting content
Demisexual is a construct made by gender ideology (ill-matched with christianity). Love is feeling attraction with emocional connection and healthy feelings, love is not "love", matrimonial true love (between men and women) is Love. Gender ideology made too much harm in families, kids, healthy relationships and societies and it's linked with high rates of deppression.
Please don't speak Newspeak if you don't want to seems as a dystopic nightmare supporter of 1984 mixed with Brave New World
Demisexual is a construct made by gender ideology (ill-matched with Christianity). Love is feeling attraction with emocional connection and healthy feelings, love is not "love", matrimonial true love (between men and women) is Love.
Gender ideology made too much harm in families, kids, healthy relationships and societies and it's linked with high rates of deppression.
Please don't speak Newspeak if you don't want to seems as a dystopic nightmare supporter of 1984 mixed with Brave New World.
Get rid of false doctrines and seek the Truth
@@be_saltDid you delete my comment or it was something else?
I want God fearin husband white im 46 frm Botswana