honest convo about marrying young
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- Опубликовано: 7 окт 2024
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In a culture that either demonizes men or excuses them, we need men to know that God has a mission for them to pursue. To lead and love well.
Join me as I work through the challenges, and joys of what it means to be a man. This is a place for men to be strengthened on their mission to lead and love.
Im 21 my now wife is 21
We just got married yesterday! Pray for us!
God is good
Congrats!
Congratulations! 🎉 🙏
Huh i'm 21 and never had a first date yet so lucky you. But jealousy aside congratulations on your marriage.
God is good.
May you live the most joyful and happy life together. Congratulations!
Got married at 21 after 4 months of dating. I had no desires to be married young or be dating or anything. But the Lord hit me hard with the greatest girl I’d ever met and after our first date I knew I wanted to marry her.
Edit: 26 now, 3 kids. Life is good.
Glad life is good for you. I did almost the same thing, met at 22 and married after 6 months dating. 1 kid and I dont know if I can keep doing it every day. Not happy, work every day come home tired every day still have to help my wife with the house and our child. Dont ever get a break, and all would be good and worth it if I enjoyed any time spent with my spouse. Instead there's broken trust, a lack of intimacy, and bitterness. I hate the woman I see today and miss the woman I married only a few years ago. I hate the fact that woman was an illusion.
@LilJbm1 sorry to hear it man. Marriage can be tough, especially early on in having kids. But be careful in letting your heart develop hatred and bitterness against your wife. She is the love of your youth, and the mother of your child. Love her, cherish, and nurture her, and hang in there. Smooth waters never made a skilled sailer. God bless.
@@LilJbm1 Sorry to hear, I have prayed for you. My advice is to always remember to put God first (Matthew 6:33), and base your relationship on His word and forgiveness. When you love your wife in words and actions trust and intimacy and be restored. When there is bitterness, try not to ruminate and break the thought chains that are causing the problems, try to not act on it. See all negative feelings as just feelings that manage themselves and doesn't have to be acted on. When you forgive each other, see it as a true new start and leave any baggage behind.
@@LilJbm1I want to be fully honest with you, I've been where you at right now. That line about the woman you thought you knew being an illusion hits hard. I've experienced broken trust. I've experienced a major lack of intimacy, and I've experienced plenty of times where I felt hate for my wife. I wouldn't normally be this open in a RUclips comment, but I wanted to share the piece of wisdom that changed things for me the most: hating your wife will destroy you in ways that she never could. Holding onto hate is drinking poison and hoping it kills someone else. I remember sitting on the floor of my shower one morning, completely broken and filled with hate and rage that my wife had betrayed me. I was so angry, but what felt most tragic to me was this: I used to love her so much, and now I only feel hate. The only way to fix that was to let go of the hate.
I'm not exonerating any hurt that has been sent your way, and I'm not saying that it's wrong to feel angry---just try to be aware that hate is too powerful of an emotion to live with it everyday. Try to understand that your wife and that illusory woman, no matter how little they have in common, are the same person. Continue trying to understand why she changed. It's been 3 years since I went through this, and it has turned around, although it was slow at first. I haven't felt hate for my life in a long time, and even if she had never changed and worked on our relationship with me, I would never want to go back to hating her.
I don't know if you're in a place where you can accept what I'm saying but I pray that it helps. I hope that you are able to let go of hate, and that the experience would be as freeing to you as it was to me.
Oh my Lord bro I got married at 20 after 4 months and we’re separated now unfortunately but we have an amazing child together and an awesome friendship.
I wanted to get married young. Never happened, but getting married at 36 this year.
Are you fine with how long it took, extremely disappointed, or somewhere in the middle? 😎
Congratulations, may the Lord bless you!
Better late than never
@@BenT800 Depends on who you end up with. 😎
Congratulations!!!! The past is past and the past is behind you now. You're still young and have a whole new life to look forward to. Wishing you both a happy married life.
39, never had the chance at love. Lived a Christian life. Hard to not be embittered when it feels like other men got to sleep around and still marry.
I’ll pray for you that you may not be embittered. I’ll also pray for you to find a wife
@joel-uy7bc I appreciate the prayer.
I'm approaching that point. 24 and never even held a girl's hand. I've been praying to God about it for the longest time now. Everyone around me seems to have found someone; I'm the oddball.
I'm pushing 33, I've lost all hope in that area.
I pray the Lord fullfills your desire in his righteous way. Im 23 and also never had a chance at love Im sure the longing for female intimacy will last as long as we are alive but I think its important to always be content with whatever circumstance you happen to be in. Lots of marriages dont work and the partners hate each other and feel unequally yoked Id rather stay single than deal with that.
I’m 22 and married to my husband who is 24. I prayed a long time and I 1,000% believe God brought us together and that were meant to be in this relationship. And I love him to death.
Nice.
Man I am still 20 M I gonna get married ?
AMEN 🙏
Wow! I’m 21 and my hubby is 24. We got married August 18th, 2023. I was 20 when we got married (my bday was in January). I got told so many things from the worldly people who don’t understand that when God speaks to you about who that person is, you have to be obedient to His voice. We’re still figuring it out but I know that it was the right choice.
I feel the same way be I’m only 19 this month 🤦🏻♂️. I feel way too young, but I understand that this part of Gods Plan.👌👍
I married at 19, my wife was 18. (Mennonite, lol)
We are not even close to the same people we were when we were married nearly 20 years ago, and that's a good thing. We have grown, but like you mentioned, we have grown together. We have made our marriage a priority and have been blessed because of it. Christ at the center, and a resolve to always figure it out when times get tough, and I am a blessed man.
Congrats man, you've accomplished something I couldn't even do at 19. I'm approaching 23 in April, and unfortuently have never been in a relationship with a female. I'm keeping my spirits high, that no matter what, I won't stop trying to be the best man I can be for, anyone really. I just pray there comes a moment in my life, hopefully soon, that a woman is just waiting to meet me, to hang out with me, to listen to my concerns, so that I can assit her in anything she goes through.. I pray that I have kids, and that God keeps our family safe no matter what happens....
@timinator900 Trust God's timing
I hope and pray that that is me and my wife when we reach 20 years. We got married in August at the same age. God bless you and your wife
I'm getting married next year on my 18th birthday. On 07.02.2025.
The way God leads is incredible.
@@johannestows2430 That is absolutely Beautiful. Congratulations!
The reason why fast marriage is a touchy thing is this, at least to me:
The bible tells us the qualities to look for are loyalty, dilligence, wisdom, prudence and kindness. You dont know a person has these things, truly, for a while.
For the first 6-8 months, you're talking to the representative. You dont know this person as they truly are. You dont know a person is loyal until there's a reason for loyalty to come into the fold. You don't know a person is wise until wisdom needs to be front and center. Etc.
When you marry, you're committing yourself to this person in spirit and life covenant as one. It's the most important choice you'll ever make outside of Christ Himself. The qualities you need for a life partner, need to be demonstrated and the foundation of the relationship needs to be rock solid and tested BEFORE you covenant yourself to that person. Otherwise you'll be signing up for a bad time.
The word tells us to move in wisdom and prudence. Seek God first to see if that person is your destiny partner, and then measure by what the Word says. Keep in mind that people can act, or hide their true selves.
You have the rest of your lives to be married. Use the time you have now to inspect the fruit, build a fantastic foundation, and make sure this is the person who you truly want to share life with, and make sure they feel exactly the same.
I agree 100% with what you’re saying. The only thing I would add is perspective. Some people might know who they are and how to inspect fruit at 19/20 years old. I’m only saying that because that was me. I got married at 20 but God told me that my husband was the one for me at 19. I think that we need to start teaching young people the fruit inspection part so that they don’t have to go through so much heart break. God’s design is for us to only marry once, but that can only happen if you take heed to His voice and the couple together desire his way
I would also add it is better to be married than to burn with passion. If two people are born again believers it may seem like only months of discerning the qualities of a worthy spouse is short but that isn’t necessarily the case especially if they know exactly what they are looking for.
@youngrevivalist Absolutely. We should all walk by discernment and not simply on feelings. With that in mind though, do you think at 19 one would have the wisdom to know what good fruit looks like in practice? What happens when the perspective changes? Outside of God directly speaking, of course. Even in that, He can tell you that's the one, but it also doesn't mean you need to marry right then and there.
@JoshThomas880 that's fair, although "burning with passion' is a HORRIBLE reason to marry lol we should all be burning with passion for our SO, but have the diligence, wisdom, patience and discipline to not give in until the proper time.
Wow amazing comment. Thanks!
Met my wife in High School when we were 15 and felt the instant connection and attraction to her. We immediately became exclusive and I quickly realized she was the one I wanted to marry - I never dated or kissed another woman. We got married at age 21 and just celebrated our 11th anniversary. We have two beautiful children. Looking back I can see that this path might not work for everyone, we got lucky enough to find such a good match so early… but we still are learning about each other, learning to communicate our deepest feelings, and learning life together. What a beautiful life God has given us ❤
Congratulations. Not gonna lie it's really hard reading the comments everyone got married at 20-22, i'm 21 and haven't even had a 1st date yet.
@@dannyphantom3090 all things come to others in their own time - keep working on yourself and putting yourself out there - you’ll find the right one soon 🙏🏼
@jseels what if she was ugly looking though? Would you say same hmmmm...
@@HuHWhatOk haha in my case she was the most beautiful girl… I was so attracted to her and still am after all these years. So I would say you DEFINITELY want to feel that spark and attraction to her - not the worlds definition, but YOUR definition of attraction. 🙏🏼 remember age and beauty are temporary, we all age and grow old, so it’s what’s inside that is most important to find.
@@HuHWhatOk married people give the absolute worst advice. They have zero idea what its like because they got lucky early on. Then they have the gall to try and lecture the rest of us on how we should feel. They need to keep their mouths shut honestly.
My wife was freshly 19 and I was 20 when we got married. 11 years later, through lots of trial and error, but more forgiveness and humility; we are very happily married with our 5th child recently born.
Edit: oh, and we dated for 6 weeks.
My wife and I got married young right out of college so we were both 21.
The hardest thing for me was dying to myself. As a person who was in and out of relationships my flesh actively fought against the idea of staying together.
For a long time I surpassed the feelings but that hurt our relationship. It wasn’t until I was open about my struggles and had a conversation. Bringing that earthly desires to light instead of hiding them really strengthens our marriage and we are so strong today
Same here brother I'm 36 and I found my idea god fearing woman and she's 21 and I'm 36.
My problem like yourself....
Once I get married via the church
😢😢😢😢😢
I'll have to get rid of ALL my side piece!! I'm so used to having a rotation it's kind of crazy.
But I'm lucky because I at least just over my girlfriend A LOT because physically I desire her A LOT but for some fucking reason my mind STILL wants to have another girl as backup EVEN if I don't deal with her.
Unfortunately I've lived like this even in the states I always had a backup for the most part but it's not really good and I'm aware.
@@aim-for-greatn3z947you’re not ready to get married
@aim-for-greatn3z947 this is a struggle I'm sure 90% of men can't relate to, myself included (I was never an omega Chad like it seems you are).
That said, I can only imagine it must be a very difficult struggle, so I'll be praying for you nonetheless. Honestly I only wanted to have 1 woman in my life and simply having had 2 due to the first relationship failing caused me indescribable grief. I can only imagine what it feels like to have had even more relationships prior to finding my true spouse.
@@aim-for-greatn3z947 amigo it’s hard but undoubtedly worth it in the end.
I had to look at myself and identify what it was I was looking for in all those relationships. I was looking for an intimate and deep relationship.
The world tells us the only way to have that is through sex but the only true way is through Christ
@Magic_M_Hayashi not even, I'm FAR from a Chad 😂
I've just gotten lucky because rejection doesn't bother me because the only thing a person can say regardless of relationship or business is NO!
I also grew up in a fucked up household full of men, so there always was a competition among my brothers since I was the youngest and I literally grew up believing having multiple women was "normal" because this was what I constantly seen.
I will say this though now that I have an "ideal" girl from what most would consider it's crazy that I had to travel to find conservative, god fearing woman.
I’m not even religious, which was odd that I got this recommended. But I clicked on it because I’m 19 and my fiance is 19 and I thought it might have some interesting things to say. I think it did. Keep up the good work man.
Jesus loves you ❤️
I’m 34 and reached a point in my life where if it happens, it happens, if it doesn’t, it doesn’t. And you know what? I’m trusting God’s plan in this. I would like to be married, but really have just begun enjoying singleness for once in my life. If I can stay this way forever, that would be amazing.
It would be more time with God. But God could easily put this contentment of singleness all into end with having a girlfriend eventually. The truth is, I hardly have dated in my life. It took me 15 years until I actually got into my first ever relationship, until it came to an end. But before my last relationship, no one was ever interested in me and that really hurt.
I did the one thing that was a horrible mistake for me. With my ex, I dated a non Christian because of how desperate I was. I did anything to keep that relationship going so that I would never go back to being single because I knew I would struggle again with trying to find someone else. The worst part of this story is that, I clung onto an abusive partner and hoping she would change, but she was the one to end it and she was so stuck in her ways.
Everything I knew that would go wrong, went wrong. I tried again after the break up and nothing was happening. I started to become increasingly angry with God because my desire to get married just wasn’t happening. I also was starting to feel left out because of all the friends I made after my ex all started to date and get married, which really, really made so alone in my struggle.
It wasn’t until recently, I did a prayer that took away this idol that I had in my heart along with the anger and everything else I was feeling away. I feel free from not having this burden anymore, allowing God to work in this situation. If He has me marry 5, 10, 15, or even 30 years from now, that’s where He has me, but if I live to take care of myself and do life by myself and with God alone, I’m also set.
I encourage everyone single here in the comments section, trust in God, no matter what age group you are in. His timing is perfect when it happens for you, it won’t be too early or too late. Be content in your current circumstances and relationship status doesn’t define you, who God defines you is all that matters in the end.
Haha lol.
Great advice! Finding contentment in singleness is not always easy but much better than wasting your life by being unhappy because things aren't exactly the way you want them. Also, for every unhappy single person, there's an unhappy married one. It's better to learn to be content in any situation because the grass isn't always greener.
🙏
Proverbs 18:22 KJV
[22] Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, And obtaineth favour of the LORD.
It sounds like we have very similar dating stories . I have now become content in my singleness . If I didn't get a girl from God I would not want to be with her and that is the way it has always been .
This is great. The desire for love and friendships are rooted in evil. It’s pure evil to desire those things. I’m glad you accepted that you will be alone forever. No friends and family and this is a good thing. Amen!!
My wife and I married at 20. Marriage is awesome! It’s also ALWAYS hard work. As is everything of value.
We were both still in university though we had part time jobs. We got a cheap apartment ate the cheapest food we could find and despite many people thinking we made a mistake, with God’s grace, we made it work.
You both make excellent points. You’re gonna grow up together. You’re gonna have adventures together. All of that is going to help bind you together. I can’t imagine doing any aspect of life without her.
Sometimes, I think we make too big of a deal about whether or not “she’s the right one”. Do you love each other? Do you have some common interests? Do you both love Jesus? Do you both share a high view of marriage? Then by all means pray about the decision, but regardless of who you marry it’s gonna take work.
It's stories like that make me wonder, how are young men able to find the right woman for a relationship. I'm a frequent goer of Church. I go to Mass every Sunday. I was born and raised as a Roman Catholic. I'm 22 years old, approching 23 in April, and have never been in a relationship. I don't see how people are able to find the right one... I'm pushing myself to talk to random strangers, because that the only time I get a conversation going in my life. I can be sensitive at times.... But I try not to get my senstitivity get the best of me as I continue to brighten people's days with my small talk... I just hope someday, that God shines a light into my life and finds the perfect girl for me. The girl who won't shame me for who I am and what I follow. I love Jesus Christ with all my heart, I love God the father with all my heart. I believe in the Holy Spirit.
@@timinator900 I met my wife in my high school’s Christian club. I’m blessed, or lucky, but however you want to look at it I am thankful for how I met my wife and I realize many aren’t as lucky. I’ve never really played the dating game because I met her so young, so it feels empty for me to give advice. But, depending on where you live, you may be able to fine a Christian singles ministry and/or young adults ministry around you. Many larger evangelical churches here in Canada have them. I can’t speak to other denominations as that isn’t my experience.
@@timinator900 That said, and even though I love being married, I do wish those of us in the western church would hold a more biblical, godly view of so singleness. We have two great examples of what Godly, devoted single men can do in both Jesus and Paul. I’m not suggesting you ought to stop looking, on the contrary, that’s between you and God. I just feel that in the West at least we have at times made an idol out of marriage.
Yes, marriage brings many blessings but also many burdens. But if you marry the right person, the burdens are worth it.
@@timinator900I’m Catholic as well, I will be praying for you to find a good godly wife! Please pray for me as well that God gives me a good wife as well!
23, I was that kid who had a really good relationship but listened to those people that said “meet other people and don’t try to commit when you are young”… Easily was the worst decision I made and took me down a destructive path. Luckily it made me super strong and drew me even closer to God. I HIGHLY recommend looking at the fruits of the labor of people who give you advice! It’s very important. If they are not living that Godly life you want take none of their advice. Follow God or suffer from mistakes like me.
Amen very true!
I'm 18 and this video and channel is a big blessing. Thank you for the wisdom Isaac. One of my best friends just got married as well at 18, and his wife is 19, and it's really beautiful to see them grow together in a God-ordained and blessed union.
I really wanted to get married young. I'm 27 now and doing my best to trust the Lord and His timing.
I got married at 18. I'm 30 now and I can still say it's the best decision I ever made. I'm so glad I got married so young. I'm so greatful for my husband
I am turning 29 and I am losing hope. I dream to be a good and faithful wife, I hope one day 🙏🏻
You and I are the same age. I've never had a girlfriend, I've never been on a legitimate date, I've been scammed and stood up from online dating. If there are girls who are interested in me, then I'm not or it's vice versa. The closest I ever came to having a girlfriend was a woman who in reality wanted to use me to buy her possessions and she was violating parol. It's strange also because, in my early 20's, I didn't care about relationships but when I turned 25, and since then, that's all I think about. Is that not The Holy Spirit convicting me to pursue a relationship? But I'm like you, I'm getting really scared and losing hope. By the way, I hope I'm not being too upfront or impudent, and pardon my ignorance, but the photo you have for your profile is that an actual photo of you? If so, you are actually a stunning young lady. I wouldn't mind getting to know you. Just saying.
Ya'll look like ya'll be a good couple if it's God's Will 🙂
Prayed for you🙏🏼Trust God’s timing, He is faithful and will make all things it’s time🤞🏼I believe you have an incredible future, believe it and do what God wants you to do in this single season - it will work out when God sends you the right person 🤍Keep going🫂
You are really pretty! I hope you will find a husband in Jesus' name. You look like a beautiful maiden in a renaissance painting!
Lower your standards
I wanted a life where I married young, but it didn't happen. I will never give up hope, but the battle against bitterness is constant.
Same.
You're in my prayers brother james@@ModelJames13
What state do you live in?
Dude I've literally just prayed about this topic a few minutes ago and this video popped up and its been uploaded today. Thank you LORD my prayers have been answered.
I was 19 and my wife was 18 when we got married in 2021. Now I’m 22 with 2 kids!
24 isn’t that young to get married (but obviously I’d be bias)
My parents didn’t want us to get married young, but we wanted to and I don’t regret it at all.
Getting married matures you. If you don’t put yourself in hard situations you won’t grow.
Getting married and having children turned me into a man.
Slow down
@@defyyourlogic487 no
@@KingdomCurrency based
i got married last year at 19. i am so happy for your family!
God bless man. Me and my wife got married in August at the same ages. Her parents were vehemently against it and handling the whole situation in an unbiblical manner. Sadly a common notion I noticed and I hope this didn't happen to you but people would by default go with whatever the parents say rather than the actual situation. Yes honor father and mother but they are still humans.
Go and continue to grow and be a man of God to your wife and kids. Stay strong and have peace that our God is good.
Nick Freitas is a great content creator. Perfect crossover. I got married at 23 and the adventure defo did not stop. The travel and concert/festival experiences we've shared are amazing (some firsts for both of us).
But the real adventure is the growth you go through by being married. When I was single, I could mask the issues I had. But being married, those issues affected my wife. This was my motivation to get stuff in order. Same for her. Not sure I would have made the steps I have as a single man.
My husband and i got together at 21. We went into our relationship with the intention of marriage. We both had never been in relationships before each other. He proposed to me a day after my 23rd birthday and we got married at 25. Its not young but its also not too old. But sometimes when i think about it, i wished we got married within our first year of dating because our connection was so strong and married life is so much fun. Hard work, yes, but so worth it! We've been with each other for 9 years, 5 years married(next month), but im so glad its with him. ❤️
I'm 24. I'm still unmarried; never even held a girl's hand. I'm praying for God to help me find the right person, because it's been a yearning for a while now. I know there's steps I have to take to improve myself beforehand, and God won't just plop someone in my lap, but I have a fear that I won't find anyone.
18, same situation. Remember, it is very rare that God calls a man to celibacy forever. So keep praying, but focus on yourself before women. God bless, and good luck.
@@danieljbruso Thank you, and may He bless you as well.
26 and I’m in the same boat.
You are in gods will brother. Don’t compare yourself to the world. God is able to grant all your years desire
😂
Dude, Nick Freitas is an incredible role model, and I'm incredibly happy that he is a lawmaker in my country.
It’s quite simple… God’s timing will not be the same for everyone. That was a very different time when our grandparents got married in their teens.
I was engaged at 20 and I am sooooo glad it did not work out. This had nothing to do with him being terrible, he was actually nice but I did not realize until years later how different we would be. Marriage is not something to take lightly. For some it happens at 20 For some it happens at 45. Let God be God and let your story be your own.
That's what I'm doing. I'm letting God decide when he'll choose the right moment for me to have a Girlfriend. I'm 22 years old (approaching 23 in April), and have never been in a relationship. In high school, I was the socially akward type. As for college, I've began to open up to people... But I don't think it's working. I'm a pretty sensitive person. But just cause I'm sensitive, doesn't mean I can't speak to anyone. I only do it, if I feel like it's right to do it.... I just don't know what to do at this point.... and I feel like time's running out.... People are getting married around my age. People who are around my age have children, and yet I'm still single....
Or for some it never happens. 😎
God does not force anyone to get married. Nor does He drop everything into your lap if you remain completely passive for years on end doing nothing but waiting and praying instead of taking the initiative.
@@timinator900I’m the exactly same age as you and in the same boat. I was super socially awkward and high school but became very “popular” in college and went on some dates with some very attractive girls but I’ve still never had a girlfriend and I can’t quite figure out why. All I can say is Trust in God’s plan. I know it can be hard but it’s he always knows what’s best for his children.
Finally someone with common sense 😅
My wife was 19 and I was 20 when we got married. Still going strong after 5 years. It's def had its ups and downs, but nothing better than building a life with the person you love.
I got married last year at 19. I was not wanting to find love early and didn't expect to be in a relationship soon because I have a lot of stuff to work through with life. But meeting my now husband I just knew there was no reason to pass him by.
Please tell me how you dealt with discouragement from other people. I’m also planning to get married in a few months (I’ll be 19), but I have SO many people, family, Christian mentors etc telling us we are too young! My mother and pastor seem to be the biggest supporters of us, and I’m so grateful. But it’s hard dealing with criticism- not even legitimate criticism about potential issues, just our age. Thank you!!
@@sophiesspace7334 Congratulations !!
@@sophiesspace7334 "Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be given to you"
@@Xx.bygracethrufaithWhat is love? Does it really exist, or is it just a mature understanding between couples, like helping each other, sharing housework, managing finances, deciding how many kids to have and how to raise them, and making sacrifices for each other and the kids?
I'm 20 years old, and I don't think I can find someone and marry at this age. Most people haven't completed their graduation, don't have a job or stable income, and lack personal experience or the joy of freedom.
@@Kashyap_Trivedi2 let's delve deeper into how love affects the brain and the underlying mechanisms that drive the feelings and behaviors associated with love.
The Neurochemical Foundation of Love
Love's impact on the brain is profound and is mediated by a sophisticated interplay of neurotransmitters and hormones, each contributing to the different facets of love, from infatuation to long-term bonding.
Dopamine
Dopamine plays a central role in the reward pathway of the brain. It's released in response to pleasurable experiences, motivating us to seek out behaviors that are rewarding. In the context of love, the presence of the loved one or even thinking about them can trigger dopamine release, leading to feelings of pleasure, elation, and a desire to repeat the interaction. This mechanism is similar to what happens in the brain during the consumption of certain drugs, which is why love can feel addictive.
Oxytocin
Oxytocin, often spotlighted for its role in childbirth and breastfeeding, is critical in forming attachments, including romantic bonds. Its release during physical touch and sexual activity strengthens the bond between partners, fostering feelings of trust and security. In long-term relationships, oxytocin supports the development of a deep, enduring connection, transitioning love from a passionate phase to a more companionate form.
Serotonin
The role of serotonin in love is intriguing, particularly its initial decrease, which is thought to contribute to the obsessive aspects of early-stage love. Lower levels of serotonin are observed in people with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), mirroring the all-consuming thoughts one might have about a new romantic interest. Over time, as the relationship stabilizes, serotonin levels can normalize, leading to a more balanced emotional state.
Norepinephrine
Norepinephrine, closely related to adrenaline, heightens attention, arousal, and readiness for action. Its increase in the early stages of love can cause the heart to race and the palms to sweat when thinking about or being near the loved one. This state of heightened physiological arousal often accompanies the euphoria and energy of new love.
Endorphins
Endorphins, the body's natural painkillers, play a role in the long-term aspects of relationships, contributing to partners feeling comfortable and content with each other. Their release during interactions helps to enhance mood and alleviate pain, reinforcing the positive feelings associated with the relationship.
The Psychological Dimensions of Love
From a psychological perspective, love influences cognition, emotion, and behavior. Early-stage love, often characterized by idealization of the partner, can skew our perception, leading us to focus on their positive traits and overlook flaws. This idealization serves to intensify the attraction and attachment to the partner.
As relationships progress, cognitive patterns shift. The sustained connection often depends on the development of a more nuanced understanding of the partner, acknowledging their complexities and flaws. This transition is supported by the brain's reward system continuing to respond positively to the partner, albeit in a more mature and less obsessive manner.
The Role of Attachment Styles
Attachment theory further enriches our understanding of love, suggesting that early childhood experiences with caregivers influence our expectations and behavior in adult romantic relationships. These attachment styles (secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized) can influence how individuals experience love, including their capacity for intimacy, their reaction to separation, and their overall relationship satisfaction.
Conclusion
Love's impact on the brain is a dynamic interplay of chemicals, hormones, and cognitive processes. This blend not only generates the profound emotional experiences associated with love but also influences our decisions, behaviors, and ultimately, the course of our relationships. Understanding the neurochemical and psychological underpinnings of love can offer insights into its complexities and the universal quest for connection and intimacy.
I married at 26 and my wife was 21. We have been together for over 26 years. I really don’t see marriage at a younger age to be an issue. I recommend it.
I really enjoyed this, I'm 19 but I wanna be ready
Well, considering that the general divorce rate is between 40-50%, and seriously religious people have divorce rates of 20-25%, I’ll go with whatever they’re doing!
Not everything we do is good, like men marrying as soon as possible.
If your a committed Christian who reads Scripture, prays and a member of a church attending 3-4 times a month it's less than 10%, also depends on the woman you choose don't go to a church that lets adulterers roam free without repentance.
@@jdkayak7868 see this is what im saying. i don't give a flying flip if you are "christian", what matters is if you are in a church that follows the bible and if the ppl you surround yourself with are against divorce, and for marriage. that's how we end the christian toleration of adultery and turn those stats around
@@Xx.bygracethrufaith the sad part is when you read the stats for people who live and believe as Christ did (read their Bible at least weekly, believe in the Trinity, take the sacraments it's only around 25-30% in USA and worse in younger generations.
@@jdkayak7868 Yes it is very sad. This is why people who can find spouses need to make as many babies as possible while being able to provide for them and teach them to take sacraments and receive Christs love. Thankfully even when it seems that the church is dwindling we know God can work in mysterious ways, as the church expands in countries like china russia and even north korea. prayers for those people
thanks for your videos. they're AWESOME and so EYE-OPENING!!! seriously, thanks a lot! your channel is more than necessary, it's essential!
I really want to married young I just turned to 22 years old 2 months ago I'm autistic so I've never been able to form relationship with a girl or go out and do certain things when I was younger that would have gotten me a girlfriend I wanted to be in a relationship for so long I do want to find the right girl and I want to be a good husband and a good partner it just gets tired waiting for so long
Same (22 and autistic)
Bro step 1: stop focusing on girls and start focusing on God. He has a plan for you and your potential spouse, but He will bring you more joy and pleasure than she ever could.
God gave me mine at just the right time. We started dating before I knew I had autism, but when we found out, she wasn't phased. When my symptoms spiked a few months later and I started having meltdowns at pep-bands and missing activities I used to enjoy (we were still in High School at the time), she wasn't just accepting of my issues, but she was right there to help me when I was at my worst AND to push me to remain independent as much as possible and continue growing as a person despite the chaos my life had fallen into. She has since continued to love me and point me to God and encourage me as I pursue His calling, and I am beyond grateful to God for the amazing woman He gave me and the perfect timing He used. Every time I look back on how I was planning my life, I see how God's plan always prevailed and was always superior, and I am so thankful for that.
I share this with hope that it may be encouraging to you, not because I'm an example of an autistic person with a loving wife, but because my story is an example of how God can be trusted to do things in ways far better than you could ever imagine. If a wife is in your future, you will find her with His timing, and she will be far better than any fantasy your mind could ever concoct. You don't need to worry. Dwelling on your longing for something you do not yet have will only make you miss the beautiful things God has placed in your life already. Instead of worrying about how or when you will find a wife, focus on pursuing God and being grateful for all He has given. Focus on nurturing your relationship with the one who created you and loves you more than any wife ever could, and trust His timing to provide you with all that you need. If you still worry, take your concerns directly to God in prayer and He will listen. Focusing on Him now will help you wait for a wife AND prepare you to be a good husband when the time eventually comes. Trust Him, pursue Him, and He will provide. He loves you.
stop focus on girls, focus on your purpose God has given to you. And nothing is impossible, you can be healed of autism as well, I've heard of stories of God completely healing. Salvation is free but deliverance you have to pay a price to get free
@@frostblghteternal celibacy is not an option, God wants to give you a wife. But that will only happen when he himself becomes the right man.
gave up on trying to get married years ago, 28 here, done trying, good for you though bro.
I mean you’re still pretty young tbh. It’s different for everyone. In fact am in the same position. You never know when that special person is gonna show up and it only takes one person so I’d say to not give up. Live your life like normal and that person just might show up.
@@smilechynwa Yeah, well try being 51 and never having been married. I can't see myself ever getting married now at my age. I will die alone.
my husband was almost 30 when we married.
@@Jeff-xy7fv with that mindset yeah you might die alone. Its not a healthy mindset which is Ironic coming from me cos am also quite the pessimist. While it's less likely you may not get married it's not impossible if you really want that for yourself. First figure out the reason why you haven't been successful in finding the right person then this is where it gets hard. You have to tackle that reason(s) and give yourself the best chance of finding a partner. You also have to get yourself out there. Maybe even ask relatives and or friends if they know anybody. I am personally not comfortable with dating apps but if you've never tired it, I'd say at least give one a try. Good luck to you.
Didn’t even know you got married. Congrats man! God bless🙏🏾
25, not getting married til 30, I’m good. I’m getting my skydive license, see new national parks and hike new mtns first at my impatient pace before I figure myself out fully and feel ready to settle down. Easier to take care of myself.
Careful. By the time you want to settle down it could be too late for you. 😎
@@ModelJames13 if it's God's timing, it's never too late.
Great video Isaac, if you see this if you could please pray for me, I’m 23 and seeking this, praying and hoping to marry young and have multiple children. 🙏
I'm 22 years old, and is still yearning to have a relationship. I've started to open out more to people. I've started to communicate more with people, because before I graduated high school, I was a social outcast, and would distance myself from people.... I try to push myself in speaking with people, but it's so hard... Especially considering that I'm so sensitive with that time of stuff... I pray to God, that one day, a girl will appreciate me for who I am. In which I hope to produce babies... and share our moments together.
Lol
🙏
Proverbs 18:22 KJV
[22] Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, And obtaineth favour of the LORD.
Thank you for being the voice we need and confirmation, wonderful video, continue to walk with Christ as your channel grows
Ive been convicted about not being ready to lead. I need to first get consistent in prayer and devotions and developed a good relationship with God. Love the honest video.
Its not about age. Its about intent and maturity.
I know some 20 year olds that can navigate life with a mature head than some 45 year olds.
I married at 22 after being engaged less than a year. I now recommend to others (including my children) to wait until you've had some more life experience, but when you know, you know. It can just be financially harder to get married young.
Please pray for communication with parents during this is time.
I married at 21 and my husband was 24. The Lord is so good 🙌🏽
Great points. I often think to myself "I wish I could've been the husband I am today earlier in our marriage." I probably wasn't ready for marriage at the time I did get married, but thankfully the Lord was able to wake me up and I was able to eventually course correct.
Am 29 and still waiting on God's time , i got born again at 26 and its been amazing... enjoying being single spending time with my jesus ❤️ ...you are not forgotten let's let go and let God,we will come back here soon with our testimonies🙏
My husband and I hope our children marry young. We both married at 35 y/o both never married and never slept with other people.. it’s amazing how we found each other and we love one another more and more each day. I reflect on my early 20’s and unfortunately I was emotionally immature.. honestly, I didn’t have the tools to build a good relationship and I didn’t know I was missing the “tools” I had a Disney idea of love.. but true love is way better than anything shown in Hollywood I can assure you. Something that helped me be ready was reading: sacred marriage by Gary Thomas.. I think he also has a book on singleness.. reading in my early 30’s helped me so much. I believed it would happen, it was rough to go on dates and loose the hope with this or that person when it didn’t work out but it’s funny because dating solidified what was important to me in a way that I didn’t expect so that when I met my husband I just knew. Prayers for the 30 something’s.. there is hope! And for the young ones.. good for you for being ready to pursue such an amazing thing as Marriage!! Much love and prayers for you all!
That's awesome! I'm in a similar boat my girlfriend is 25 and I'm 34 we've waited as well though sadly both of us experienced SA in our youth though other than that we plan to marry. She's a Disney adult too lol
I was about to give up on finding a good woman with all the single moms in church etc.
When I met my wife (in Bible College), she was just about to turn 18 and I was 19. We were just friends for a few months, but with being around each other a lot in such a small school, we became fairly close in just a few months and started dating/courting just before the end of her first semester. I think we pretty much knew from the moment we told each other how we felt where the relationship was going, but we decided it was wise for us to wait until after college to get married. Fast forward a year or so later and we realized that waiting that extra year was going to be too much for us to remain pure. So we pushed the wedding up a year. I was 22 and she was just a few months shy of 21 when we married; that will be 15 years ago this May. As such, I am VERY pro getting married young.
I agree WHOLEHEARTEDLY with the guy whose video you commented on (Nick Freitas maybe? I do not follow him so I am not sure). And I agree with nearly everything you said here.
Where I disagree with you slightly is the need to be necessarily financially secure...or at least part of what you said with that. I think the key thing is you need to be working or at the very least responsible enough to work even if you are the sole provider for a time. When I got married, I was working, but not making much. My wife also worked for several of our early years of marriage (since we were waiting to have kids), but has not had a regular 9-5 in the past 8 years (and now homeschools our 3 children). I think the will and the drive to work, even if you do not necessarily know what you are going to do long-term, and the motivation to do what is needed to provide for your family and still make the effort to be part of their lives, is more important.
Similarly, I disagree partially on the spiritual maturity level...maybe. Yes, a man needs to be ready and willing to lead, but also recognize that he is not going to lead perfectly and not think he has to lead perfectly to get married. A lot of it is on the job training and marriage is one of the most sanctifying things you can do in life.
Overall, great vid.
I married young. I've been married for 11 years now. Never once did it feel like a ball and chain. We still have time to do things on our own, but a majority of the time, I much prefer doing things with her. We've got plans and goals. It's much easier having a partner and helper to reach those things. I almost listened to those people telling me we were getting married young or that our 3 year gap made me a cradle robber or a child mole. She was 19, and I was 22 when we got married. Two weeks after marriage, I drove her to her high school's graduation ceremony. She had already finished school 5 months before we got married, but we still got side-eyed. I worked two full-time jobs while she went to nursing school for the first two years. She got exactly what she wanted at the time to be a registered nurse. My college career pretty much fizzled out when we got married, but that didn't prevent me from learning on my own and getting jobs that required a college degree. I don't regret it. We waited 5 years before starting to have children.
If you can afford it, go for it. Same deal with kids
Married at 21, both same age. Married now for 17 years, happy as can be :)
Got married in June last year, 25 years old and my wife 20. God's guidance brought us together. Marriage feels like the closest thing to paradise there is here on Earth.
"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." - Matthew 6:33
This is like the ultimate red pill for me 😂. I’ve been looking for something like this for a very long time.
We were 21 and 23 and we grew together. 40 years in march and we are still happy.
Got married at 19. Thankful to be 20 years in, by the grace of God. Getting married that young isn't for everyone and it needs to be considered with good counsel but thankful to grow older together ❤
I think, to add to Nick Freita's point, it's so good having someone to come home to after your 9-5 job, someone who will say "hey, your day was long, sit with me and relax." I overheard a young guy at the mall say he doesnt want to settle down until hes in his 30s because he wants to be all alone until then. Crazy! Hes going to he so depressed having to work 40 hours a week and then having to start up the dating app and meet someone new every weekend. Crazy crazy crazy.
Even worse, he doesn't realize his chances of finding a good woman after he hits 30 are very low.
@@ModelJames13 Indeed. I'm a 35 male virgin and my options for marriage have not got any better with age. I make well into 6 figures as a software engineer, own multiple houses, attend church regularly, exercise daily and not obese. My advice to young men is to seek God first and get married young, because the older you get the women become more transactional, less commital, and have a lot of trauma.
@@InfrazaleAnd the obvious solution would be to marry younger women, but it's rarely an option because women are so age prejudiced. Seriously last year I had 2 women that wanted to go on a date with me but when they learned my age they changed their minds just like that. All about the age. 😎
Not crazy at all. Some people just aren’t dependent on being in a relationship as others are; truly no one should be dependent on that. Sounds like he wants to properly prepare instead of jumping into a marriage making minimum wage and I say that’s wise.
@@ModelJames13 to be fair im a woman with girl friends and we just rather date someone closer to our age so we get more time with them. If youre 30 and older and were 20. It feels like were being groomed and most guys dont have more room to grow at that age. Rather date someone close to our age because of death. 30 year old is more likely to die earlier than a 20 year old and also the experiences. Experiencing things for the first time makes the bond stronger. Girls would rather build with a guy in his 20s then date a 30 year old whos established. Thats just me and my girls though, we dream of true-come from nothing love. The promise of New experiences from a young man rather than attained experiences from an older makes the love we seek more fruitful. 😂 ik cause i chose to marry a man when he was 21 than a 30 year old i was seeing. The 30 yr old was a closed minded. Whike the 21 year old had dreams just like i did. I married my soulmate. The 21 year old with dreams.
I’m 19 soon but I want to switch countries to marry. I found the best Christian girl in Russia (my parents are from there, so I know know the language well.) I know I can lead here in spirit and Bible; but I’m concerned about the financial situation (I do have a version of what I will be doing). But Please hold me in prayers, during this process (it will be very tough).
Is she a mail order bride? 😎
Nick is fantastic bro! You should see if you can speak on his show at some point! I’d love to hear you bounce things off of each other for men of this country from a biblical standpoint!
I got married at 25 after 4 years of courtship. I delayed marriage for 4 years due to fear and I felt I'd be judged by family for getting married early. I totally wish I had married my husband sooner. I have grown so much and life certainly began after marriage for me. I have now been married 8 years and we have 4 beautiful children. I truly am enjoying marriage and look forward to spending all my days on earth with him 🎉 ❤
The video is very good. Marriage is something very important, I always dreamed of getting married again in church, but in my social cycle this wasn't possible at that time because I couldn't find boys willing and prepared to be husbands. I'm Brazilian and there are a lot of social problems here so it made it a little difficult. Now I'm 28, I hope that God will truly bless me.
Have you truly not found any men that want to get married? Or is it that you have been rejecting potential husbands for years? Hmm?? 😎
Makes make happy to see my internet dad featured on your channel 🫶
I'm married at 19 to my wife who is also 19. Best decision in our lives. By God's design and grace I am able to be the sole income of our household at such a young age despite our culture. So many people were against this decision of ours but what I noticed is that all of them either had a bad marriage of their own, or never took the time or effort to understand us. Those who knew us were all for it and excited for us. And now that it's been 6 months I couldn't imagine any of this time without the most Beautiful Woman on Earth. Of course I'm biased she's my Bride. I am blessed by our High King to have her with me. Thank you Lord for this blessing and may you grant us a long and fruitful marriage making your name known each and every day.
I was dirt poor both in college. Why wait? I am 60 yrs old and I still want more in savings. If you wait until you are financially ready you will be dead when you are financially ready.
Not Christian, but a devout modern orthodox Jew. I have lived a good Jewish life free of partying, hookups, drugs, or alcohol. I've put myself out there in environments full of other young Jewish adults. I am turning 26 next month and have absolutely 0 marriage prospects. It doesn't look like I'll be married within my 20s. The young Jewish women around my age only notice men way older than me, or men my age much taller and/or richer. Many of the married younger men around my age led lives of hookups and drugs before marriage. Meanwhile, it seems that "simple good religious men" (if I may use that term) don't have the OPTION to get married young. Most men who marry young make the mistake of assuming average men have the option to marry young. If you made it this far, thank you for reading.
I feel ya brother.
I was in a relationship with an ex for 3 years starting when I was 18 to 22 years old. She broke the entire relationship off suddenly even though we genuinely loved each other and saw a vision of us together, we had planned so much together. She ended it in the matter of what seemed to be seconds over things unrelated to us, and then blamed me over it. 3 years of building that relationship straight down the drain. I’m nearly 23 now and I wonder to myself, you know, I was wholeheartedly convinced this would be the one I’d marry, she was a genuinely good girl. Well, I guess I was wrong. Maybe there isn’t anyone out there for me. Hard to believe you can put so much heart into someone and they can rip it all off in the span of a couple minutes. To this day I still don’t understand what truly happened.
Probably bullcrap that had nothing to do with you mate. I'm married, thought we genuinely loved each other, also thought wife was a kind genuine christian woman. She leaves me high and dry for months at her parents while I bust my ass and doesnt have any proper excuse for hurting me like that even now. She still struggles and what it boils down to is she just isn't morally a great person. OK maybe. We all have our demons and we all fail, when our failures impact someone else that's the worst, but none of us approach the Glory of Christ and we are but human. If only God would permit my heart to be more forgiving because our relationship struggles with the resentment I have bottled inside. So much resentment and unhappiness when I thought marriage would be such a blessing.. only my child is truly a blessing.
Nothing to understand really, that's women for ya. You're still in your 20's, you've still got time to find a wife before it's too late. 😎
Hey man I pray that you will continue to look up to God and be patient I know it can be kinda difficult but you are not alone , trust in God's timing and he will help you find someone that was meant for you. I am sorry things didn't out but keep trusting in Him and He will reveal everything to you
You're completely right, but the issue with many young people, as well as myself (I'm 32), is that many have grown up in broken homes and in a broken culture where the majority of the relationships we've had to model after are very superficial. It's hard for many to even remotely grasp God's love for us, because the most we understand relationally is what we experience on the playground - we hang out as long as we're having a good time until either we get bored or we have a spat. If this is how we are with our friendships, then how on earth are we supposed to survive in our marriages?
If you wait too long to get married all you’re doing is practicing being single. Getting married young allowed you to grow together. Wife and I got married right out of high school, and no we’re not boomers either.
Amen! I hate that generational title boomers. It doesn't matter what generation people are, generational titles are just division invented by a marketing wizard to make people hate each other.
Marrying young as long as you both are mature, and you know what you want, is not an issue for me either. Procrastination is never a good thing, and evil comes of it.
And if some people are seriously against marrying young, It generally means they are immature or were immature at that age, and they naturally assume everyone is as dumb as they were when they were young. Don't ever take advice from someone who is secular and not in a happy marriage, they will ruin your life.
The thing is is people change all the time. It's getting into relationship knowing this and expecting this. I also don't think you need to be perfectly the bestest most awesomest spiritual leader ever because no one is perfect and life doesn't work like "oh i'm soooo spiritual now, activate marriage now!" I think you just need to be willing to try.
I’m 25 now almost 26 and I’m starting to feel like I’m running out of time and that I won’t get a marriage or family. The pressure to find someone and begin this journey has been a lot. I’ve prayed for years to find that right person. I had en ex who shortly after we split found someone else and not long after that was speaking about marriage then soon after that announced pregnancy and I feel frankly haunted by losing that relationship. I feel that could have been my family. I still pray everyday that I find that right one and can begin this journey but I’m unfortunately starting to lose hope
Don't give up yet. You've still got about 5 -10 years before it's all over. Keep trying. 😎
@ModelJames13 lmao
I don't like the way we think as Christians
If only you actually let your anger and depression towards him be expressed.
Get lost, lose hope, seek truth...
You'll find yourself a better man, one that sees life for what it is, with more strength and character.
I am a Christian, but also a philosopher.
@@juans9515I'm not exactly sure what you mean?
@@ModelJames13
Find a reason to be with him without resentment.
Don't expect him to bring you anything, pray over it, but don't expect it.
Waiting until marriage is great. Waiting FOR marriage is where problems start
Especially if the wait never ends. 😎
My waiting ended when I gave up late in life.
@@RachelNichols-writerRachel...... Nichols? The beautiful actress/model from Dumb and Dumberer and P2? 😍
Great qualifiers - another one I'd add is taking that vision of how you'll progress and having the difficult conversations around that to ensure you're on the same page before marriage on expectations afterwards. This isn't because it'll pan out like planned, I've been married over 20 years and very little went as originally planned, but learning how to have those difficult, detailed conversations on life expectations, financial management, worldviews -- those will come up time and again, and developing those skills and seeing that can communicate those well is a pillar of a strong marriage. I think the Gottmans have a lot of great conversation starters around this, and on having children.
i love this channel, keep going
got married at 20! like with most marriages, it'll be great if you are a good fit together in all aspects, and more challenging if not. i feel very blessed that from day 1 my husband and i clicked instantaneously and it was obvious we were supposed to be together. we have had some spats and get annoyed with each other but they're quickly resolved. kids are also SO FUN when you're on the same team. i know other couples, like my own parents actually, who took a long long time to get to their happy place but thanks to the Lord being at the center of their marriage they got there. it stemmed from them being best friends at the end of the day that made them want to work it out (aside from being Christians). if you find that person who makes you feel like you're home, just do it!!! marriage is amazing with the right person.
Love Nick Freitas, great clip.
thank you for this video...been having the similar problems you mentioned,,,but thank you for the encouragement,,,
One of your best vids. Great advice.
I had every intentions on getting married young but I couldn't even get a date and now I'm 39. I feel if I got married a couple decades ago it would have kept me out of trouble.
I greatly desire to get married young because it feels like im running out of time im truly horrified of my life situation rn my past my present and my future. Im not where i want to be and i want to please the lord because im struggling
In His time. In His hands. You'll be okay friend and remember to talk with Him. That's always a great option
Amen@@aceluoar832
You're not running out of time.
Hey mate, I've been in a similar situation and people will tell you just work on yourself and you'll attract the right person. It's not merely about being a better person, truly it is about being transformed to love Yah, desire Him and enjoy Him above all else and out of that love can we love anyone and anything else properly. So I'm working on desiring God, I'm also working on learning what marriage really is all about. But the key really is to seek the kingdom first.
Like, God gave you a desire, but that desire is wrong? 🤦♂️
This man is criminally underrated
All of the people who are getting married in their early 20s at my church have: a couple of kids they gotta raise and work for, with their youth totally wasted, or are already bored of their marriage in their late 20s - early 30s.
I don't see the point in being young, just fresh out of your teenage years, having "duties" as a son, and not having autonomy, to then jump into the marriage and kids bandwagon, and then being in the same controlling system called "family" for at least another 18 years.
Epistle of Joseph:
I’m glad you called your presentation a ‘conversation,’ because I have a few things to ‘add.’ After hearing that you were coming from a Christian/Gospel perspective, I found myself reacting to a couple of your exhortations: “You don’t know how expensive a woman is until you bring one into your life, and when that happens you want to be ready [for this fact], and it will save you so much headache,” and, “Are you actually ready to spiritually lead this woman?”, and followed by, “I’m going to figure out my stuff first, and I hope you’ll wait for me in this and grow together.”
My brother in The Christ/The Messiah/The Anointed One, I have 3 sons. So first off, in terms of how much a woman costs [assuming that you were not counting the dowry!], raising my 3 sons cost! One cannot get ready for something that one has yet to encounter. That is the pilgrimage that Jesus, within our relationship with him, invites us on - trust. So, your comment referring to a woman being expensive is, at the very least, anachronistic. And yet, it informs me that your eyes are set on a woman who needs to be helped financially. Be that as it may, it is not any part of the Christian message.
Further, I was truly confounded by your language/message around marriage being a partnership, doing things together, sharing time, etc, while predicating that entire relationship on your sense of duty to “spiritually lead the woman.” I fully understand that this is a fundamental[istic] understanding within Paul’s letters, but please refer to academic papers, no matter the Denomination of the biblical scholars, which address these passages from an exegetical perspective/analysis/interpretation.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned throughout my 70yrs on this earth, it’s that Jesus’ message, both in word and in deed, is that The Truth, not only “will set us free,” but within the experience of this Truth, it will, not unlike for Moses coming down from the mountain, TRANSFORM US - both male and female! Timothy’s exhortation was that we are to “rightly divide the word of Truth.” This “Truth” does not comprise some static list of do’s and don’ts, like what the Pharisees/Saducees/Essenes imposed, but rather, it’s within all of our relationships. Marriage, though a final commitment by two people alone, is preceded by acknowledgment/support of significant people in our lives over time [within the courtship], which is called DISCERNMENT - God speaking through others.
Finally, in reference to another one of your exhortations - “I’m going to figure out my stuff first, and I hope you will wait.” Psychologically, this would be seen as impossible if not unhealthy - for the woman! But biblically speaking, Mt 13, “To those who have ears, let them hear…though seeing, they do not see; though hearing, they do not hear or understand.” One who has to still get their sh¬_t together, would not have any senses to base their ‘right’ attraction to some right person, especially within the context of a marriage that you were referring to earlier. However, I do find quite interesting that IF this should/could be the case, then if follows that the woman who is waiting for you to adjust to God’s purpose for you, then necessarily, is God working through this woman. In a sense, she is the one who would be ‘leading.’ Within your Christian framework, that would truly be a transformation!
Who am I, you may ask? Simply: Father of my 3 adult sons, a retired prison chaplain of 25 yrs, and one who, in my late 20’s, taught at a trade school for 3 yrs in the Missions [Pohnpei, Micronesia].
My motto in life: Esse Quam Videri - To be; To live “Free & Faithful in Christ” [author: Bernard Haring, Theologian]
Peace my brother, JJLIII
I got married at 19 and my husband was 22 at the time. It was before we gave our lives to Jesus but now we've been married for 10 years. It hasnt been perfect by any means but Im glad God brought us together at such a young age.
I’m 25 and can’t even imagine getting married, still feel like a teenager. Have a professional job even but still spend my alone time gaming and watching RUclips.
I don't want irresponsible fun, I want a God fearing, sabbath keeping Husband. I'm 28 and live in a rural area. There's no blokes my age at church.
Why do they have to be your age? Are you age prejudiced?
I married my wife both 18. We're 31 now. Still married. I count myself lucky overall. I'd say today's climate is different, but hell if I know. Good rng is good rng. I'm just going to give my kids a good start and that's all I really have control over. I don't have any decent advice on getting married, but I do have advice on staying married.
I was 19 last year and got married. yes the climate is different today but i live in a culture where parents raised their kids intentionally and my husband is a devout christian like me. it can work because the church is different than culture (should be)
I would like to be married young but it seems almost impossible for me. I’m more traditional leaning so that probably hurts a lot in this day & age but I really just need to explore Christian dating I guess.
I got married at 22 & he was 26. We were together for 15 years, had 3 kids back2back after 5 years married. I LOVED being married! So did he! Our marriage ended tho because he never dealt with serious issues from his childhood. He never learned how to really love God or himself or me. We went thru sooo much drama and trauma and abuse. So the marriage didn’t last until death parted us, BUT that doesn’t mean it wasn’t fruitful! It was still very worth it and not something either of us regrets. We learned a lot and are BEYOND GRATEFUL for our beautiful children!! Two things can be true at once. Something can be extremely difficult and painful while also full of wonderful things at the same time. I’m so glad I wasn’t single all those years or just going thru multiple relationships. Marriage is a covering, it’s a training ground, it’s a secret garden. I’d prefer multiple marriages over never marrying at all. The rewards outweigh the losses.
God bless 🦋
The "guy in the video" at around 3:47 is Nick Freitas. He is a member of the Virginia House of Delegates, former Green Beret, loving Christian father and husband, and the host of one of my favorite podcasts "Making the Argument." I'd highly recommend that show or his shorts yt channel "The Why Minutes."
YALL ARE FINDING SPOUCES?!?!
This is awesome advice Issac! Thanks man!
For me its the opposite, because Im an Indian (living in Australia) and our culture kind of overemphasises marriages, i.e. it has to be done by hook or by crook.
I do encourage people who do it willingly and more blessings to them.
But I have dealt with the pressure of being forced to marry, cauz im 27 now.
So this things goes both ways for us.
I don’t wish to be married unless I have a compelling reason.
Point is doing anything when you’re forced to leads to disaster is what I believe.
I'm from India and i know many people who is teacher, doctor, engineer Who is 30+ and not married and i know many people who married around age 16 to 22 even they have no career or not stable income and growth.
@@Kashyap_Trivedi2 i guess different needs for different people maybe.
Although there do seem to be a lot of unmarried people who wanna get married but aren’t able to !…
I've always wanted God to send the right one. I was best friends with a woman I loved very much. It ended bitterly. I still see her at church. It's been very hard to go through the loss of a person I shard so much with. I bought an 86 chevy C30 with a 454, so I got a good distraction for now.
At least now you learned the timeless lesson, never be friends with a woman you are attracted to/interested in dating.
6:20 I know its meant as a mission statement but in this economy I dont think the man can only have a provider role. Not everybody can be super rich but I think every good person deserves love and marriage
I know many husband and wife Who work so any one don't get pressure and less financial problems and provide good life to children and in-laws and parents.
Thanks for this video.
Please, what about living a life of celibacy as a Christian? I've not seen videos on this topic.
Hey I am from Manitoba too! In Winnipeg I was having a hard time finding a relatable Christian community. Was mainly getting my Christian advice/community from RUclips or constant trips to the US. Luckily I found a few good smaller groups in MB. I love your perspective on the Gospel. If you know of any other good local Manitoba churches that share your perspective please let me know.
I'm 36. My wife is 24. We met at 33 & 21. Instantaneous love @ first sight. Married within 9 months. Just had our second child.
You're very fortunate she wasn't age prejudiced. Lots of women seem to have a bad attitude with age gaps. 😎
@@ModelJames13 If she did, I wouldn't be an ounce interested in her.
The only women I've found to have any perceivable issue with me are women similarly aged to me.
Younger women, and women who are older than me have typically been delightful. So I think my fortune is pretty common.
Before marrying my now-wife, and even to this day, I receive much of the same attention from women 18-24 despite being older & older each year.
@@EriPagesAh, you must live a charmed life. Last year I got screwed over by 2 age prejudiced women. They thought I was hot and wanted to date me, until they learned my age. Then they got all stupid about it and well no dates were had in the end. 😎
I have a seven year age gap with my husband which isnt alot but I was confused why everyone thinks its weird. also married within 9 months!
@@Xx.bygracethrufaithGood for you! 👍
I am an Atheist so i am not really with the "reason of god part" but, you have some very good point in this video about marrying somebody, and how you should go about marrying you significant other.
And i dont think marrying young isnt for everybody but you are totally right with saying that you shouldnt jump from partner to partner because that truely destroys a good bond with somebody you Potenzially want to marry.
So overall very good points in your video👍🏼
Wait you're in Manitoba! Nice, me too
… I see myself just severing ties with every girl and building my mission, because I feel like I’m really not ready yet. No eco, no vision. Finishing up university, but not having the best grades. I’m kinda weak: not too physically or spiritually strong, not fighting against pornography with the same passion as I’ve had at first. I feel like I’m lacking passion guys, but I know what all of it could really be. What do I do to make a breakthrough?
Get a job. Learn the Starting Strength program. Read Scripture and the Reformers (their shorter works would do).
Fast!!! And confess your sin to someone in your church and have them pray over you!
Hey man, I am fighting corn as well. I've found out over the past few months that it has reduced from a burning passion to a choice I make to sin. I'm disappointed by that but really the turning point was repeatedly listening to what the gospel really is. How God sees me, who I am before God because of Yeshua's sacrifice and the more I understood that, I just knew I couldn't ever get tired of fighting, every time I get back up quicker. And I believe even more.
Best way to find the one is not judge a woman based on looks, make it a yes/no to attraction and let the relationship build attraction if there was a base already. As a Christian imo Purity is first, then personality, then looks.
Realize that porn is ultimately tied to sex trafficking and rope. Pray and ask God to convict you enough to stop.
Married at 21 and her 20 and still married since 2007. Marriage takes effort, maturing and communication. Of course Love is a main reason we are still married.
I had a girlfriend in college when I was 20 years old, but realized I wasn’t ready for marriage and thought it best to get things figured out first. I sought this with much prayer, however, it wasn’t received very well and Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to explain my heart in the matter.
You could have kept dating her until you were ready for marriage. 😎
@@ModelJames13 that’s terrible advice! A Christ followers, the purpose of dating is for the intention of marrying. We DONT do what the world does.
@@imarip9781Oh course when I gave that advice I was not suggesting doing anything sexual that is forbidden to the unmarried.