My advice for young men seeking marriage and family.
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- Опубликовано: 10 авг 2017
- There is no marriage that is successful without trust, you have to tell each other the truth.
It is no simple thing.
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Here's a not atypical comment on this video, from viewer Jo Be: "Don't get married, young men. Marriage is a death sentence for your life, kids and money, later on. Don't get married. The western courts have it rigged against you."
Here's my response, to those who give advice in such a manner: Have the courage of your commitments. Take up your sword, metaphorically speaking. Join a political party and start to make your arguments. Fight it out in the marketplace of ideas. Fight the unjust law and the biased courts.
But don't tell young men to avoid young women. There is no difference between that and telling them to avoid life. And don't tell them to avoid commitment, because commitment is necessary.
Jordan B Peterson Clips Why try try to fight the system? I think society is biased against men in general, there is no point.
Taking up the sword seems really good but how do you do it in time to allow the current people at their 20's and 30's to have at least a decent deal with commitment?
Mateus Reis You can't. Gynocentrism is too deeply engrained in society.
No, commitment isn't necessary.
Why risk giving up half your asset when the marriage is over? And it will be at some time.
not to be too positive, but I also thought trump wouldn't be able to be president due to corruption of the process.
"My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you will be happy; if not, you will become a philosopher." - Socrates
Imagine how his wife felt after saying that
That's about my take on it !
Socrates was a brave man.
Or a New Jordan Peterson
@@guruprasadf07 he is also a philosopher. A bad one, but a philosopher
I got my wife interested in Jordan Peterson and we both listen to his lectures. Our relationship is much better now.
Advice: find a woman who also finds Jordan Peterson interesting.
Lil Dragon trying that with my wife right now. She acts like I am trying to get her to join a cult...
I WILL get her to clean her room!
Lil Dragon what is it that makes a woman who finds Dr. Peterson interesting different than a woman who doesn't better suited for a relationship?
Michael B
I got my wife interested by showing her a JBP clip about the childrens story "There's no such thing as a Dragon".
Before she saw that vid, she thought I was weird for always listening to him.
**** ****
A woman who finds Jordan Peterson interesting is, in my opinion, more likely to stay and address problems you both have together rather than ignoring them or outright running away.
Ex girlfriend refused to listen to anything Jordan Peterson related, now she's the ex lmfao
Just see how clean her room is, roughly speaking.
the same would go for seeing if a man is husband material.
Helena Kilp I agree.
the same would go for seeing if a non-binary is "what material?" //joking
I never thought I wanted to have kids, but man, its thew best thing to happen in my life, now they are my life and for the first time they come first and not my self. They are more important than me and I do everything I can for them more than myself.
Abu Hassan Al Hashimi Shut the fuck up. The man isn't a lab rat. And fuck off with your alpha tag. If a man can't keep his fucking room organized, how can he keep a family organized? You're talking about highly situational incidents you moron. Also if someone keeps their room clean, he is weak and stingy? You're moronic beyond measure, get the fuck off here.
Abu Hassan Al Hashimi hahah!!
Anyone whom cares enough to clean up their surroundings, especially their home, shows character, from giving of themselves to benefit those in and around their life. You're talking some weird brainwashed shit that makes 0 sense.
I must smell like everyone's brother.
Find a good looking guy, then steal his clothes.
Jonathon Frazier lol. Just try to smell more symmetrical
Lolllllllllllllllllllllllll
Don’t worry you’re not alone.
Lol
I’ve been thinking about the phrase “look for a good woman”, which I don’t necessarily disagree with, but since they seem to be the ones with the choice, being that their taking a tremendous risk (biologically speaking) I think a better phrase would be “make yourself into the type of man good women would be attracted to”.
I think think the big question though that most people don't think or ask is this; what do they or even you consider to be a good partner? What do you think is a good partner?
In other words, be rich?
Very good
1. Delete Facebook
2. Hit the gym
3. Sort yourself out.
1. Facebook yourself
2. Delete the out
3. Sort Gym
1. Sort the gym out.
2. Facebook yourself.
3. Hit Delete.
Face the book
Fire the book
Walk away and enjoy life.
This sounds like a solid plan, pal.
Ivan Figueroa seems like a good plan lol
Advice here is spot on. My wife and I had to do a presentation marriage course before we could be married in a church. One of the 150 questions on the questionnaie was how would we deal with infidelity in our marriage if it happened. We had both answered that it would end the marriage. The counsellor who went through our questionnaire with us said that the church would want us to reconcile. I stopped her in her tracks looked at my future wife and said that we had both been around the block and that we knew that this was it, and that we were making a life commitment. We have had to deal with a lot of hardships throughout our marriage, but our commitment to each other and other trust in each other has been unshaken. I feel blessed. Dr Peterson is great.
The problem is...a lot of women these days are not marriage material. Neither are a lot of guys. We have a seriously dysfunctional society right now and I fear it will only get worse as traditional institutions are torn down such as the churches and places of learning and as employment opportunities dwindle.
Women are mostly at fault.
feminismm and sjw bullshit killed off everything.
@@speedgnom agree
am not perfect, but women are weird...
@@jhonnycultura4455 Hahaha. Not weird. They've just overplayed their hand and a lot of men aren't willing to put up with it anymore.
ok note taken: Make sure to maintain a symmetrical face
Guess that’s not working out for me
@@awaisaurelius6745yeah me neither! Or is it? Michael v sauce music
if I've gained anything from JBP it's the whole tell the truth thing. I consciously decided to stop lying and to only say true things as best as I could, and things are just so not complicated now, or at least seem much less than they could be. I told my boyfriend I was only going to tell the truth, which he sort of chuckled at like "Alright" but ever since I've just had so little to worry about now that I've stopped knowingly corrupting existence. Even more than "clean your room", you should tell the truth. ❤️
Rachel Dunzweiler your whole post is a lie isn't it. Tell the truth.
Ryan no I literally decided to only tell the truth. I told my bf "I'm only going to tell the truth from now on," and have been consciously not lying ever since. Telling the truth when it seems hard makes you realize just how much better it always is to tell the truth rather than lie, because the outcome is almost never as bad as you anticipate.
The fact that you needed someone to tell you to tell the truth in order for you to realize the merits of doing so pretty blatantly implies that you're at least kind of a piece of shit.
You should be ashamed of yourself for making such a comment.
Jordan B Peterson Maybe I "should be," Dr. Peterson, but I'm not. She even mentions in her initial post that prior to following your advice, she was "knowingly corrupting existence." I hope you'll pardon the language I used, but please explain to me how "knowingly corrupting existence," at least with regards to the time span in which a person is doing so, doesn't make that person an objectively bad person?
I have more respect for you than I can quantify, sir, but why you are willing to excuse the the knowingly evil/destructive actions of some people, when other people have never had any problems doing the right thing in this regard? Does the fact that she's changed undo the damage she has inevitably done via her lying in the past? Don't you think that doing the right thing should be EXPECTED of us, rather than PRAISED?
I' m addicted to listen to you Dr. Peterson. Your lectures and advices are really inspirational and really help me when I'm in most need. Love your work, I wish I could be at your lectures and meet you in person. The university of Toronto has no idea how lucky they are to have such an amazing professional like you. I just started to read your book, maps of meaning, it looks that I'll enjoy and learn a lot.
You are an inspiration to me.
Cheers from Portugal.
As one of the many men you so often describe as inexplicably drawn to what you are saying - thank you for sharing your thoughts. Im going through a hard time where I am trying to reinvent myself and your teachings a musings have helped a lot.
Priceless advice. I love my wife and children best thing I’ve ever done with my life. Came from a broken home was determined not to end up that way found my wife and never looked back
These words about marriage really helped me right now. I deeply appreciate how you in some sense simplified to two major components what to look for. Find someone you're attracted to, tell her the truth. And as you sort of implied, commit to her.
To really know a woman, don't look, listen.
Ray Davis
Hear hear.
To really know a woman, beat into submission.
I would broaden that to pay attention, otherwise, I completely agree.
You just heard JP say that you shouldn't underestimate the importance of attraction. Seems like you didn't actually listen after all.
If my lover didnt look at me id be pretty sad
You're the man Jordan! You've set me on a much more fulfilling trajectory in my life. Thanks to you, I stop being a nihilistic ass about relationships and found a girlfriend, who seems to be just the perfect match for me.
It's really sad to see the Christians fail so incredibly hard making these truths presentable in an interesting and engaging manner to the current youth. Christians, in my experience, have the best message in the world, but they're catastrophically shortsighted strategists and impotent at presenting the message.
Whats this? A non cynical comment? I don't believe it lol
Raavan Reloaded I looked up Joshua Project. By all accounts it seems like you're not part of it.
Because Christianity usually demands that the bible be taken as a historical document which is literally and factually true in all details. This demand acts as a filter to keep out the higher IQ's and the more authentic personalities. Why the hell would a reasonable person with a good education accept on faith the premises of virgin births, life after death, and eternal hell as punishment simply for using the very intelligence that "God" gave us?
The answer is that they wont. So as time goes on it is more and more being left to the less intellectually gifted to make the bulk of the evangelical communities.
Jacob011 I believe like most people they do it for looks and hey I'm Christian other than what they really believe. Alot of people do things for appirance and not because that's what they believe.
Hunter Powers If everything (because there are a lot of things that are “logical”) about God could be understood by our extremely tiny brains, He wouldn’t be much of a God, would He?
I'm 22 years old and this is speaking VOLUMES to me considering recent experiences🙏🙏
Great video. Absolutely on point. Thank you, Doc. Keep up the good work, stay strong!
Lots of truth in your statements!
27 years ago the misses and I made a promise to each other. That being, no matter what divorce was not an option. We also promised to be open and honest about everything with each other. We have had our ups and downs but we have always been there for each other and always will.
When I have given this advice to my kids, I tell them to think of that one thing that you would never tell another person and that is the one thing they should be able to tell there husband/wife and know that they will still be there for them.
Grandpa's Place thank you for this
You are welcome. ;)
+Natasel some women are into swapping/polyamory. maybe that's the type of wife for you?
Hopefully, you said that before you got married, Natasel. Being handcuffed to you is probably not for every woman.
This seems correct. Once committed, there is a lot more at stake than just with someone one is only dating. It seems ideal for many people that the lover and partner are one and the same, though. Although not the most important thing, it would probably be a mistake to choose a partner one found physically unattractive.
Thanks. Sound advice for women too.
I can't express enough how great this man is
Robert Buchanan
Sick burn, I’m sure JPB’s losing sleep over that one.😒
Why is it that everytime I listen to Jordan B. Peterson talk, the words he says resonate with me so profoundly? I've yet to watch a video of his that hasn't gotten my full attention and kept me interested from start to finish. And yet, all he is doing, as far as I can tell, is saying words that are true from his perspective. Just speaking words that describe what he has observed and what he knows. I suppose a lot of it has to do with his level of articulation and animation. I am just amazed at how fun it is to listen to someone point out behaviours and break down human nature. I hope I can apply what I'm learning to my life in a way where it will have a net positive effect on my life.
Thanks for the shout out. Exceptionally creative etc. people, stay out of it, and it's a dangerous path. Yessss!
My Respect Sir Peterson. Greetings from Germany.
I've watched several videos. I love the videos from your home the best. Are you happy? You look happy. That blue looks so nice on you. I noticed you have great color in your face. Happy to see you doing so well. Hugs. ❤️
Thank You.
This is great advice thanks so much JP!
You definitely should be a marriage counselor. Thank you for the videos. Keep them coming brother.
I love how he said bilateral symmetry like obviously it's bilateral I don't want to date a man who is symmetrical along the horizontal axis of his face
"Marriage is the joint subjugation to the logos - The ruler in your marital life should be your commitment to telling the truth."
I knew from a young age, I'm not good at relationships, its saved me a lot of grief and money.
Great advice , Thank you
It's rough trying to find the right partner who would be a good wife and mother. I'd say be very picky and learn a lot about the woman you're dating before marrying her. Actually think about what a marriage and family would be like with them in the long term, without lying to yourself. I personally wouldn't even date the vast majority of women, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to get married and have a family. You have to work for it and be smart about it to minimize the odds that you'll get fucked over.
I think men personally have to be someplace in their lives before they make that kind of commitment. Men need to at least think about finishing school (college), or having a trade/job in which they are financially stable. I've seen too many young guys not having their lives figured out before they have kids and it's not pretty. I think you'll agree that a lot of women in today's world "wear the pants" in the relationship, and that's kind of the status quo.
Dennis T. Nedry until globalization renders your skills useless and the wife comes looking for money to buy shit at the pottery Barn and you ain't got none. Next thing you know she is sending the divorce papers and you sitting on your ass watching the price is right addicted to hydrocodone.
How did you know I like the Price is Right?
Ryan this comment made my morning hahaha
Yeah, my 19 yr. old daughter is dating one of these that hasn't figured life out. He is 27, already has 2 kids from a failed relationship (not marriage), can't hold a job. My husband & I are beside ourselves. We modeled, encouraged, and educated for them to pick men that have goals, perseverance, faith, steadiness. I don't even care how much $ the guy makes - just show me you are committed to improving yourself, that you are on a path and will not deviate. My daughter is very goal oriented & driven. I cannot understand attaching a millstone to your neck & I worry about him dragging her down. Not happy.
BROTHER YOUR WISDOM IS PROFOUND. EXCELLENT DIALOG. THROUGHLY IMPRESSED MAN. MEGA SUBSCRIPTION. AND IM BUYING THAT BOOK.
Thank you Mr Peterson for helping us to be better human beings
Rofl. Where has this guy freaking been in my life. All his videos are so freaking true.
If your highest value is the way you feel at the moment, you're in for a tough road. People with a value system that comes from without and is embraced within have a power of perseverance. Become a real Christian, and marry one.
Amen.
Trust for me personally is paramount Dr P, with all others being secondary.
That said, always a pleasure to listen to common sense.
Regards.
A.F
This was extremely insightful
I ordered my husband from Russia.
lol
Is he an alcoholic?
@@MrSimonw58 no just racist.
MrSnoozle puff Nah, those are facts.
And I'm still waiting to get ordered..
I’m 34 and I never married or even had kids. I had trouble with the idea that I wasn’t good enough and infidelity would happen. I was glad I waited because I was not all there psychologically , I had to face my shadow and fears before I made a commitment like this. But now is like I want a family of my own. Let me say this ,I come from an urban area in Houston Texas where the majority of my friends died at a young age or went to prison and some had kids at 14or 16 with different women. I didn’t want that for my life. As a Hispanic Male I’m looked as if I was lost because my culture tells you, you need to marry or have kids young or you haven’t lived life.
Sir u are a man of great wisdom!
Thank you man. :)
That was pretty practical and romantic imo.
Marriage is a covenant - don't take it lightly.
Love Dr Peterson's advice about how wonderful children are.
Thank you.
I’m glad at how often he points out the importance of physical attraction to your partner. I thought I could simply learn to be attracted to who I was with by their actions since I didn’t feel that attraction for awhile at first. But when other things start to go, like a weakened sense of improvement and communication, their actions are no longer attractive, I don’t even have foundational physical attraction to the other person to keep the relationship strong and going.
This made me feel great about my mariage
this is what i wanted for the longest time, to fall in love and live a life with the girl i love.
girls don't like me so i shifted my love to my studies. best decision ever.
The Observant Servant nice part about that is you're more likely to find a girl if you're not focused on it... They can smell desperation and it's a repellant
ever try to find out WHY girls don't like you?
Maybe you are called to be a philosopher, I suppose. The most important thing is to find happiness though. Are you truly happy and fulfilled? Some people have social skill problems that are chemically and rooted deep in one's psyche. It's not as easy as some think, as many Peterson fans are ignorant of medicine...you can't just necessarily be socially skilled. Sometimes it is rooted in brain function. Therapy and medicine can help, but sometimes people are just born that way sadly. It's a human condition. Autism, for example, has no cure, and people think magic can fix someone with Asperger's. Not that you have it, but Peterson fans don't understand things in their alpha obsessed complex, which unlike Asperger's syndrome, is a mental illness. However, both are treated under psychiatry, and seeing a doctor, no matter what, is worth it. Only idiots are against therapy. People who think it is weakness are the most insecure. Your problem may be anything from social anxiety to autism. An obsessive element can also create problems. We note this on the other end of Peterson fans who always talk about the alpha male and are saying there are no good women anywhere...the problem is, they are so self-absorbed, the problem might be more in themselves. If you look too hard, sometimes you overlook, for one thing. You also cannot expect perfection and one's own weakness has to be acknowledged. I reccomend seeing a doctor, and not because there is anything bad about you, but because you are human, and a doctor might help. It's a very healthy, manly thing to do.
we need more of this topic plz
Sound advice rooted in the fundamental ideas that have been realized for millennia that have since been nearly forgotten
I'm a simple man...I see a new Jordan Peterson video, and I make a cliche Jordan Peterson meme joke in the comment section: Clean your room, Buckos.
DoorM4n there is to many layers of dried cum underneath my desk where my computer sits and the carpet is starting to corrodes. The paint is peeling off the wall. The smell is incredible. I'm afraid no amount of cleaning will ever fix my room.
Ryan it might or it might not, but you have a ironclad guarantee nothing will happen if you do nothing. Don't overwork yourself though.
Clean the mess you generate each day, and then spend an additional amount of time, based on how much you feel you can handle. :)
Ryan Your room is an extension of your psyche, and I'd hate to be your therapist
@@bodbn 2 steps for irreparable disasters.
1 Burn it.
2 Start over.
Then you don't have to clean it you can just keep it clean.
Stfu
If you are going to get engaged to someone, make sure first that you are the captain of your ship.
Your ship is not the house, or your future marriage, or anything else but you.
Do you know what you want? Are you willing to take the steps necessary to pursue and preserve what you want? Do you take care of your own needs?
Getting married isn't about someone else who "makes you happy." "You" need to make you happy. Your love for who you are should be so great that it overflows to every part of your life, especially your future spouse. If you do not love yourself, you will not be able to handle the slings and arrows of life and marriage. So, the first step is to love yourself and direct your own life first.
Being RH negative makes a difference. Good editorial for young people. Good luck.
I feel like I have so much cleaning of my room to do that I don't want to subject someone else to my messy room by being in a romantic relationship with them; For fear of by proxy hurting said person.
The no fault divorce laws have made the institution of marriage-as originally conceived and intended-against the law. The prohibition on marriage through the family courts must be repealed.
Too many people are playing idiotic games instead of telling the truth, then this continues to escalate, then they are surprised they got burned.
I don't have any problems finding a mate. I just tell the truth about who I am and what I expect.
This is great!
Does anyone have any advice for young women at all? Its easy to tell men to change, thats what feminists have done this whole time. So i wanna know what ppl have to say what women should or shouldnt do for once
mytubeaccount in that very Q&A original video someone asked JBP your exact question. He really didn't give any satisfactory answer, he said it was a very tough question.
mytubeaccount Camille Paglia seeks to have good advice for women.
mytubeaccount make babies ;)
Exactly. There is never any onus on women. In this video he talks about handcuffs but as we know a woman can walk out at any time (no-fault divorce does not require a reason) and get a windfall to sweeten the deal. The whole question is a one way gynocentric program to just get men to do things for women and limit their happiness while women follow their unsatiable need for more more more at the drop of a hat.
mytubeaccount
I can look back on my life and realize that I was at my bitchiest when I had a bit too much male attention. I suppose it can result from some sort of evolutionary mechanism to make it clear for men I personally didn't desire to gtfo; pure speculation, so evolutionary psychologists - help me out.
So how not be a bitch: acknowledge this^ could be the/(one of the) reason(s) why and find a more dignified way to reject people. That's advice number 1.
The list is very long though, so let me give you just one more piece of advice: constantly work on critical thinking skills - a more rational woman is more in control of her emotions, which helps a lot when arguing with anyone.
Hope those help, sorry for the half-assing.
Im 27 and me and my wife have been together for 9 years now. Married for 2 and a half years. Now we have a 16 month old. Biggest problem i see is ppl getting married after a few months to a year. Thats not enough time to really get to know someone. I wanted to make sure my wife was my best friend. If someone cant handle you at your worst they dont deserve you at your best
Did you guys have sex during those 9 years ? Or did you wait until marriage
You are just a lucky jerk - and maybe a liar. But that's for the female you've molded into your image of a wife to assess., if she can. Best advice I've heard is: "Love your spouse more than you love yourself."
If someone can't handle you at your worst. Who cares about your best? Like, if you're being a toxic narcissistic jerk and you use that line of logic, you can self justify being a toxic narcissistic jerk. That's a miserable road for everyone to walk down. I get where the thought comes from, but think it can be extremely misleading.
You sound like someone who would get rich and never get married or in a relationship because , according to your logic, the woman would not deserve the rich you WITHOUT having been there for the financially struggling you? 😂
I really don't think it would take 7 YEARS to get to know someone. Especially since most of that time you were childless. Being a parent totally changes your relationship & often it is well into THAT experience that you see someone at their 'worst'. I think we try to date for way too long in this culture & then wonder why it isn't like 'dating' anymore when we get married/have kids. I dated my husband for 3 months, got pregnant & married before the year was up. We didn't do it in the right order, but we KNEW we were for each other. We have now been married for almost 20 yrs. My grandparents knew each other for 10 DAYS, got married - had 16 kids & stayed married until her untimely death at 51. It depends on the couple & I don't see why it should take 7-10 years to get to know someone. We dilly dally in this culture, but it doesn't actually cement the relationship. I have known couples that dated for more than a decade, married, & were divorced in less than 5. When you prolong the 'not really committed' part, the marriage/committed/til death do us part chafes.
Such great advice....
Hey JP. Hows it going? I never wanted kids but when I had them I found that its the best thing that ever happened in my life. I place them higher than mys-self. I also found that my partner, who focused on me and loves me, placed our kids higher than my-self. At the beginning I missed her love for me (her highest love) being superseded for the kids too. I'm not upset , I understand completely, but I miss her sole love of me. Maybe when the kids grow up we can focus on each other again, in the mean time our focus is on the success of the kids as our highest virtue. May be you could shed some light on the partner ship after the kids grow up. I'm actually looking forward to having fun with grandchildren, where you don't have parental responsibilities but all the pros of having the kids around.
Do not listen to a woman about this. Although she is correct that you want to make more time away from the children, that is not all there is to it.
If you want to keep everything stable, you need to strive for excellence in all things, never betray weakness (which doesn't mean being stupidly bull headed), and to make her feel protected. You also need to LEAD the relationship. Women do not respect a man who doesn't lead.
All of this should be done in the context of inclusion. In other words, make decisions, but seek her input. Do not allow her to overrule you more often then 50% of the time, and then only when it makes sense, or doesn't make a difference. Be open with her, but not about your feelings.. except as they pertain to making her feel protected. Argue with her and hold your ground, but not in a heated way so as to be aggressive. Show up with flowers and a weekend plan that includes the kids being taken care of by your or her parents so that she has to do nothing to facilitate it except to come along, or to help pack. Date night is nice, but it isn't enough. Be overtly grateful for the things she does for you and the family, but only for a moment. Don't go on and on about it. Be sparing with your praise, but very clear with it.
Women have a "switch" that will get thrown if you persist in weak and conciliatory behavior. You have to have your own things going on, your own hobbies and interests, as well.. otherwise you will become a shell of a man, unable to bring anything to the table except money. And she can get that from The State, or from another man. Don't become interchangeable. You have to be her hero, and it has to be as 24/7 as you can manage it.
If you need to talk, go to a therapist, or go out with your male friends. Never, EVER talk to your or her relatives about any difficulties you might be having. Don't talk to her about your emotional conflicts, or your difficulties at work. Give the appearance of strength to her, and use your friends and professionals to handle your down time. Never, ever tell your wife these things.
You don't have any guarantees around your marriage, since it is so easy for a woman to get a divorce. That means you are only married today, and maybe not tomorrow, so act like thats a possibility every day you are alive, otherwise it could happen very easily.
Lots of great advice in general, but I could have done without the judgments and generalizations about women who don't want kids. I'm 27 and am still pretty skeptical about having kids. Not because I don't want them (maybe later in my life, even if it means considering adoption), but because I think of it more as something that you earn/are "gifted" with. It always seems so strange to me when people mention having kids like it's a decision people should make on some emotional whim without really considering their mental/emotional heath, life partner, financial situation, home life, etc. To have kids, I'd need to at least make sure that: #1 it's with the right person (someone I can count on to be a good father/husband) , #2 I'd need to have the financial means to give them a good, stable life. These things are non negotiable as far as I'm concerned. Since I'm probably going to live out the rest of my life as a starving "artist" without much stability or money, and I don't often meet people I can connect with, or relate to on a deeper level, I've come to terms with the likelihood that I may never have kids, and I accept that. I'd rather not have kids, than have them only to give them a crappy life. Sometimes I wonder what kind of world I'd be bringing them into anyway.
Absolutely agreed. There's no way that I would bring a kid into the world if I couldn't provide a decent environment, and I certainly wouldn't try to do so if with someone who I couldn't connect with on a deeper level. And yeah the world's pretty much going to shit anyway
The generalisations really put me off too, especially being accused of "not being oriented properly psychologically," and the implications of being trash because of it. Like damn, pardon me for suffering a bit, jfc, no compassion at all, thanks for the preaching though I guess (not)
It's also been interesting in the comments seeing a lot of men voicing their pain about how women have hurt them in the past. And it's hard to remember but a lot of women have been hurt by men in the past as well. It seems like there are just way too many burnt and jaded people out there that it's a miracle any form of meaningful social interaction is happening
I love the thoughtfulness Lisa. Thank you for bringing that in.
I am 35 and have been only on two dates and never been in a relationship (not from a lack of trying. Just a lot of rejections). Would it be logical for me to just give up entirely? Not blaming woman, they have a right to reject me. I just tend to suck when it comes to social things.
Why are you rejected?
Nobody can answer this but you. How bad do you want it and how hard are you willing to work on yourself?
Fuck them. They are not worth it. The "love" is shallow and on a % basis you are way more likely to get betrayed. When people get but ed, they never again trust the flame. They know its nature.
Leona Byzantium Not really about most of the women I asked out. One from an online dating site I think stopped messaging me because I wasn't geeky enough. Eharmony rejected me after taking their test (3 times. Also cheated on the test a few time to sneak into the site lol) because my personality was unable to be matched with. They use the big 5 basically. After over 15 years of reading various books/articles and watching videos about dating. The only thing I can think of is my low confidence/self esteem (made worse from lack of experience), lack of drinking and doing drugs, being very introverted, being a nerd/geek, inept social skills (could also have Asperger, but I haven't been tested), and have depression (lack of sex and/or intimacy possibly making worse, but not enough evidence to confirm that). Also where I live sucks (Pa) for when it comes to people like me meeting a woman.
Josh NoneYa. I would like to experience a relationship at least one even at the risk of betrayal. I only have this life to satisfy my curiosities before returning to nothingness. I would like to know if it is something I really want or if it's just a waste of time like Rick says. Even though my imagination is pretty damn good, it's limited. I need more experience and data before I can make that call. And if worse comes to worse. I die anyway in the end.
interesting what he said about the artist to dedicate his life to the work, I was thinking about it the other day, cause it always felt that way to me, observing artists
Excellent!
Love you in a respect kinda way ...
VASILIKI same
VASILIKI Peterson is a hack. he bathes in the cult like status he has. He believes in the flying spaghetti monster. Pass
Ryan Fuck off.
Marry a good Christian woman that still appreciates a strong man that leads his household, who wont be jealous of your success and try to compete with you, will give you children and raise them to respect you and authority and knows that the marital bed is a sacred place and loves to be available to her husbands needs.
Commentaries on Confucius are very relevant to this issue. Confucius' contemporaries were more about inspiring people to see the long term value in traditional familial roles than condemning them for not personally experiencing them as Mr. Peterson has a tendency to do.
For example, its easy to imply a woman is psychologically compromised for not seeing the value in rearing children, and to potentially avoid her as a mate; its more difficult to determine a womans personal relationship to family and children, and inspire in them the natural connection they can experience creating a balanced family with you.
Like with many things in life, you have practically no control over such things; what you do have control over, however, is increasing the likelihood that you do find the woman that shall be the bearer of your children. Increase the chances of you getting lucky- be around those you admire, be in an atmosphere that reflects your values, and act in the way that you’d like your future partner to act. Naturally, by a chance of probability, you may actually meet that person and they may meet you.
A good marriage is better than no marriage but a bad marriage is worse than no marriage.
I keep sending those videos to all my male friends who need to man up and take control of their life. Unfortunately, most of them are lost case...
LOL. Man up? I would tell your husband to get DNA tests on those kids
@@ConstantChinner redpill moment
Can someone please tell me the name of the beautiful music played at the end of the video
after 30+ years of interacting with women, I would say that trust is the most difficult trait to find.
Start by asking yourself 'why do I want to get married and have a relationship?
taxes
That's not enough though, you have to ask that with a legitimately open mind. If you don't you'll only reach the conclusion that you want to.
I actually have never had any strong desire to
@Rollo Larson if someone thinks that's all marriage solves.. I mean don't get married right lol save everyone the heartache.
@@nightfighter7452 that's fair, not for everyone. It has its perks though man, hope you considered seriously.
Choose a loyal polite cute homebody woman who loves her parents & children no Matter what her income is who cooks at home who'll teach you to cook who helps you pay bills who only goes out for fast food with you twice a month hates shopping unless she really needs a few thrift store clothes to look good for you work or for a wedding baby shower funeral . Who wears makeup for you when you guys go grocery shopping for food & hot cheetos.
I believe that mature men are better to marry in a sense they are build already in a maturity of being responsible and established to handle a family and relationship and good virtues in life......God bless Professor Jordan Peterson and more power to you !
Someone please! What is the title of the musical piece at the end? Thanks so much.
Me and my girlfriend have been together for a bit over a year and a half so not a huge amount of time, but neither of us want kids until 30, 28 at the earliest, I don't think she's not orientated properly, I think she is just very focused on her uni degree and work, life and pet dogs, potential PHD, not everyone has to have kids by 25. I don't have any massive reason but personally if anything I'd rather wait until I'm 35 or even older lol I think me being 30 and her 28 would be a compromise if anything.
Rollo Larson ahh I must have misheard, thanks mate!
Can't underestimate being attracted to each other. Well, I'm out of the game off the bat
Liam Cronin
Dude, there are literally billions of people on the planet, there is absolutely no possible way you aren’t attractive to someone.
@@CaliburovX4 Lack of confidence is a massive killer. Underestimate it at your peril.
And @Liam Cronin ? By the looks of your profile pic (if that is indeed you)- I doubt women don't find you attractive. Unless you're the uninterested party?......
I think this question was more about how to attract a mate. Your answer assumes the person who is asking is able to find numerous potential mates, but many of the successful (read: six-figure salary) men I know are not very good with women and they need some help making themselves more attractive.
I want it all but I can't bring myself to partake in any of it.
And in all fairness Jordan needs to make a video explaining how women and gynocentric society needs to change to attract men back to the plantation!
if there is a 50% chance of your parachute not opening
would u jump
the same for marriage and the divorce rate
if u get hitched...
awesome
if not
rock on my niggaz
DimensionZombie Clearly you are randomly grabbing a parachute. If you check over everything that makes the parachute safe prior to accepting to use it, you can almost guarantee that it will open. Same for marriage. If the divorce rate is 50%, not enough people are doing the due diligence to ensure that the marriage works. And THAT is what this video is giving as useful advice. Being attracted to someone is mysterious, but being honest is simple. But simple is not necessarily east, and in the case of being open and honest with another person, it's really freaking hard for the vast majority of people. Especially when many, many people aren't even honest with themselves
Hawley Rigsby people are checking over everything. What do you do when you find no parachute worth grabbing?
What's the chance of the plane crashing? But that's not included in your statistical thinking. Acting is risky. Not acting is risky. Pick your poison.
Why is not acting risky?
Amen.
Run!
I'm not taking marriage advice from my favourite Professor. This is the only topic we hardly see eye to eye. He's very bluepill(which is not an indictment at all) But that's OK. I still learn a lot from him. Red pill saves lives man!
JP (Jordan Peterson) makes a lot of references to Jung, whoever this dude is. I know Jung's a philosopher, but what is his background and what has he written? I wanna know where JP gets his information from and how he has arrived to these conclusions. I feel it's important to know how to analyze people, even the most trustworthy and influential lol
Hollow Delta look at the video on youtube where he talks about the most influential books he has read. The gulag archipelago is his favourite
Carl Gustav Jung. One of the founding fathers of psycoanalysis. One of great minds of the 20th century. Archetypes and the collective unconscious - structures in primordial, mythological consciousness that we are all wired into.
I think it needs to be said that you shouldnt be expected to have kids. I came very close to doing so, but mentioned a bit of trepidation on the matter to my dad while we were having a beer at the pub. While fairly obvious in hindsight, he said that there was no reason for me to be compelled to have kids, and that he wouldn't be disappointed one way or the other. It suddenly clicked that I was moving towards that simply to satisfy some vector of percieved adulthood. It occured to me that perhaps a large part of being an intelligent adult is having the ability to look around and recognizing its rather selfish to generate offspring purely for my own sake. Mankind certainly isnt in dire straights of lacking progeny...
We must be offended periodically and regularly
Either by truth or by lie
So-What helps?
Stop b/s ourselves first. Not easy!
Damn my face is asymmetrical. Game over.
If that was all that mattered, yeah.
Liam Ashton Don't worry, I'm sure that you have a highly varied MHCII profile. Just get close enough that the ladies can smell you before they look at you ;)
It just means you might have to settle for an asymmetrical woman, is all. it goes both ways.
If you leave the back door open you will use it 😂😂
WHAT'S THAT MUSIC CALLED OR WHO DOES IT BELONG TO? CAN SOMEONE OR ANYONE TELL ME PLEASE?
The sound seems off with this video. I have my laptop speaker on full volume and can barely hear the good doctor. *Jamie fix this shit!
*EDIT* my volume was down on the youtube video, not my computer. My apologies, apparently I am super unsorted today... headed to my room right now to fold laundry in penance.
I get Jordan talking up marriage, lets talk about the destruction to men when divorce occurs. Considering the 50 percent marriage failure rate, and the absolute destruction divorce brings to men, please explain why marriage is a better choice than being single considering divorce is the worst of all worlds and the likeliness of that is 1 in 2.
What's the alternative? Bitter loneliness? Failure to engage in the reconciliation of differences, personal and political alike, between modern men and women? Because that's failure to engage in life.
Jordan B Peterson Clips the alternative is Mgtow or an agreed upon, non legally binding relationship until laws are more just.
Considering how rigged family court is against men in the USA, I am an attorney by the way, do you think it is morally correct to advise men to buy into a system rigged against them?
Wait, women prefer the scents of symmetrical men without even knowing that they're symmetrical?
I've always felt like people with asymmetrical faces were untrustworthy.
Maybe it's like Pinocchio and crooked people end up with crooked faces? And unappealing body odor...
...what if you're genuinely not attracted but otherwise almost perfectly matched?
I know we get old and the magic fades but I wont lie and say I'm not still looking...
Do you really want to spend the rest of your life forcing yourself to find your spouse attractive?
If the issue is something like weight management, then you could have a mature conversation about what you expect but if it's something as deep as symmetry or smell then you should probably keep it moving.
Dr. Peterson, what do you do if you are in your mid 20s and you have failed after asking out over 500 girls? I have lost weight (still fat), I have joined clubs, done sport, even did study abroad. I'm tired of being told its my personality or I'm not confident enough or I'm not positive, it feels like its just nice statements just so they don't have to say I'm unattractive. It hurts a lot, no one wants me, no one will give me a chance. Should just get rich and get big muscles then maybe someone will like me. I want to build a family but hell I can't even get into a relationship.
Hilarious. We had the same life! I studied abroad and am still out of shape. Just haven't found any solid women. Wish I hit on more girls in college. That was the time. Hard to find them now.