God will build you into a man ready for marriage, have faith in him and he will direct your paths. There are essential things you should be working on before you get married 1. Stable career path and income 2. Ability to provide for your self and be self reliant (rent a house/apartment, cover all bills etc) 3. Study the word and pray daily, this should be your main focus. 4. Be established in a good church community. Focus on these 4 things and God will provide.
@@ezekielgdkI am severely lacking in the money and job department and trusting God to take leaps of faith there. But I got the daily prayer and reading the Word down. I would be a liar if I didn’t mention that sometimes I go through the motions and don’t really give God my heart but He is working on me though to not fear and not be afraid.
@@Justyouraverageguy172 Hey brother keep having faith!!! You are doing all the right things. Don’t be too hard on yourself brother, none of us are perfect in our walk and God knows that and is very merciful. Just chill, be patient, and allow God to direct your paths. I just recently finally got my career started after months and months of prayer and a couple times actually crying to God for help. He is with you and directing you right now. It just takes time as God is very patient and articulate in his plans for you. Hang in there!!!
This is somwthing i have been struggling with HARD this year. I was engaged, we were together for 4 years and were supposed to grt married in april. But in february, we ended up breaking things off and it hurt so bad. Now im struggling with feeling "behind" in life. Im only 23 and i know i have my whole life ahead of me, but its so hard to let go of the plans that I though were set in stone. Thank you for this video man
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. (Rom 8:28) - I feel your pain, brother. I too had a beautiful girlfriend for 3 years, one who I was set on marrying once I got "settled". Just this past night my heart said to me, "Look at her, she is married now, and you are still on your own." This when the comfort of the scriptures is necessary! God's plans for us often take us down roads we never thought we'd take, but we must know that God uses these "unusual paths" to bring out good in our lives, and a better reward in the life to come - eternal life. It is not easy, but it is worth more than gold, it is time to focus on the Lord, and love Him with all your heart and soul. This verse has really helped me to move on from heart pains. Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. (Isa 43:18) God bless you.
Wow. That's devastating man. Sorry to hear that. Truly. I know it's corny advice in your time of heartbreak, but I would see something like that (after a lot of mourning and questioning) as God having better plans for me or my fiance. Maybe there was a reason things didn't work out and we know that God works out all things for good (even if what happened was "bad" for us according to our expectations and our own plans for our lives). And also, maybe think about how much more painful a divorce down the line could have been, the heartbreak would have been even greater. I say this out of love and compassion for you, I do not mean to discount your suffering in any way or just smack you in the face with cliche advice from the Bible. God bless brother. 🫂
I'm sorry man. Reading Joel helped me get through, because it promises that we'll be repaid for the years and describes what that's like. We're not really missing out because the blessing will come in full in the future. In addition, being in that situation basically means you fit into all the categories Jesus mentions in the Beatitudes. It's good to be blessed. I'm still single, which sucks, but at least me and Jesus are good.
There is one more reason: See 1 Corinthians 7:32 I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs-how he can please the Lord. 33 But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world-how he can please his wife- 34 and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world-how she can please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.
He went over this one in the video. That verse also concerns pastors, and why pastors aren't to get married after taking the oath and marrying themselves to Christ.
1. You have little direction 2. You're not emotionally ready 3. You're not financially ready 4. You have an addiction 5. You're not spiritually ready 6. You have no desire to be in a relationship 7. There are no quality options around you
Marriages that start with everyone having all their ducks in a row so to speak end at the same frequency as do all others, just look at celebrity marriages. Marriage is a journey not the finish line. Traditionally and biblically people who married were at the starting point in life, not financially well off, not secure and certainly not completely emotionally developed. Many of the issues get rounded off by the mere plight of living with the same person everyday and making the whole thing work. We seem to have a cookie cutter idea of how marriages should be and that seems to be as Christians and that is "If you're celibate and save yourself till marriage then you will have an easy and successful marriage". Regardless of the fact that people with who entered marriages with celibacy and not will attest that their marriages were difficult at times. 4, 6, and 7 of your points I agree with but by the time a person gains some direction the marriage will change that because your spouse is likely going to have different ideas of how things should play out. IF you are financially ready that would probably mean you are approaching middle age by todays standards - not the greatest time to be thinking about having kids and also your best years physically speaking are long gone. Spiritually ready? Is anyone spiritually ready for anything? God determines that (look at Moses and Gideon) not the outward appearance or the summation of "well meaning" church folk.
Yeah these are basically the reasons why I’m still single… People have been tempting me to date and telling me I should get my hands dirty, but I know I’m not ready and I don’t want to date until I’m ready. This video was really reassuring for me, thanks for encouraging me and confirming what I already knew to be true in my heart.
It's definitely the right decision to wait. Right now I feel like I'm super close to asking a girl out, I'm just waiting till I sort out some personal problems so I don't harm my future wife with my baggage. I have a friend who says he's also ready to date, but I think he's not even close. I don't think his character or relationship with Jesus Christ is mature enough to handle the responsibility of caring for another human being, anger issues, wrong intentions, and saying derogatory stuff like, "I'd just tell my wife to stfu if she's blabbering to me on and on," I wanted to confront him in that moment, but didn't want to get into that. I would feel awful for his girlfriend if he goes through with that. So sad. I know he's had a really tough childhood and upbringing with lots of family problems, but that doesn't give him any excuse in the slightest to act that way. He has deeper issues causing insecurity, anger, inauthenticity, and selfishness causing him to take it out on others. I've been super introspective about my childhood, insecurities, trauma, worldview, beliefs in God, my purpose, and intentions for my life and I still don't feel like I'm ready! It's taken about 3-4 years of deep searching and emotional depression and hitting rock bottom TWICE for me to figure out who I truly am. It's a narrow path for sure! God is good all the time and all the time God is good!!
This verse never meant that if you are a Christian and love God first, he will give you everything you want. Like a spouse or whatever. It means if you place God's Kingdom first in the choices you make, God will take care of you. You will have food to eat, clothes to wear, a place to sleep. Take care of God's business and He will take care of your business. Place God's will first. And He will take care of you and provide for you.
Thankfully God has removed all my unhealthy addictions. However at 60 my financial situation is not great. I am not in debt, but am finding it harder to earn money. So I don’t fancy my chances. I will be considered to have low market value, regardless of my walk with Jesus and my level of Godliness. Money always talks.
Far be it from me to talk authoritatively or advise as if I have the life experience as someone 30-something years your junior, but I still think there are women out there for you. Personally, I think dating apps/sites are garbage for my age group, but I actually think they work way better for your age group. Like you’ll have a better chance of finding a genuinely quality woman on one of those sites as opposed to younger people. Either way, praying for you brother.
Brother, money means nothing to God, he has it ALL and will give you what you NEED! I just watched a video on contentment, and it changed me a few hrs ago!
@@lewisedwards4058 Thank you brother 🙏 I really appreciate that. I agree that dating apps are garbage. I am old school and prefer meeting women organically when I am not looking, that is when I do meet someone. On the internet I can’t gauge how it will go till I am in the same space and feel their energy. The internet gives me a false reading. I have met a Christian lady recently and it’s going very well, though it’s require time and patience due to our current life circumstances.
coming here to apologise(hoping this meets you well and has a good effect) just cause i had wanted someone aggressively teaching the word and viewed anyone who wasn't doing so as a foolish heretic were as your videos are more self help but for the view of a christian and now i see i needed to calm down and listen to all sorts of voices and your voice will always be a good one to have in my head
We’ve got to be honest about whether or not we’re really ready to be blessed with a godly woman who would make a godly wife. What are you struggling with? Do you have idols? How’s your prayer life? Do you read The Word? How do you view women? This is something we ALL need to do. Just a spiritual audit on ourselves.
There are also some deep emotional questions like; What cause my insecurities? How do I honor my future wife and treat her well? Do I seek approval and attention from others too much? Do I have the right intentions with this daughter of God? Am I ready to commit to a lifelong relationship? What causes me to get too angry? How do I control my tongue and my emotions so I do not hurt my future wife? Am I all in for Jesus Christ or am I all in on the world? Do I represent Jesus' love well? Will I pick up my cross daily? Are we equally yoked? (This goes both ways, are you actively pursuing Jesus? Is she actively pursuing Jesus?) How firm are my beliefs in God? (Do I not agree with certain things in the Bible? Do I not believe certain things? Do I not have much Faith that ____ is true?) (these can all be asked for her too) Another SUPER deep question is: "Do I just believe in God and the Bible because I was taught it as a kid or is this stuff actually true?" And that was a big one for me, took me about 3-4 years to solidify my beliefs in God and the Bible as my own and not just "indoctrination". As a kid who grew up in churches, I was just taught what was right and wrong from my pastors, parents, and the Bible, but I didn't actually KNOW right and wrong until I kind of woke up and figured out what was right and wrong on my own. I knew _TO_ do the right thing, just not _WHY_ I should do what was right. Do I just care about looks or character? Will I put to death my old self or go back to my past ways? etc. 👍👍
@@jasonwilliams8321 Perfection isn’t coming for any of us on this side of eternity that’s for sure. What I’m talking about is taking a realistic and thorough audit of your life in a basic sense: what does my home look like? What’s the state of my bedroom or bathroom? How clean am I in general? Am I at least consistently looking for ways to better myself and strengthen my mind, body, and spirit? Am I pursuing work with a goal in mind or am I aimlessly just working to live? How much time do I spend on my phone, on the internet, apps, video games, etc? How often do I read? How often do I read Scripture? How much of my time is spent engaging in sports or entertainment vs current events, history, theology, apologetics, literature, the sciences? I’m faaar from perfect on any of these, but these are just some basic self-evaluations that I think we should employ to see if we’re really ready to be trusted with a wife. If we’re not properly taking general care of ourselves, we’re not ready to employ care and guidance to a spouse.
14:45 - Completely disagree with this man. We can’t be ignorant to a woman’s past. I have dated women with “pasts” and they have unique issues that they bring into the relationships. It’s very unwise to suggest to young men to just overlook the past. Solid video otherwise
@@Jayar_ that and the “don’t put the financial burden on your wife.” It’s 2024 and this guy forgets that he has money coming to him from us watching his videos for of course it’s easy to say. I am not saying to be a lazy man but couples both have to work unless they are rich when then the wife can stay home or the husband makes over 120k a year to cover almost anything.
@@Jayar_ your point and the “don’t put the financial burden on the wife”. It’s 2024 and this guy forgets that unless the husband is making at least 100k alone, which puts him in the top 10% nowadays, both parties have to work
@@mlady8137Well As a Catholic, Eastern Orthodoxy are more of a brother in terms of faith and belies as well to us than Protestants but that is beside the point. It’s 2024 men are not supposed to put the financial burden on their wives but because of the society we live in women are more favored in the workspace than men thus you and me both know we aren’t rich or have money to allow our wives to stay home and raise the children as it’s supposed to be even though I probably won’t end up married.
Its interesting because where in scripture does it say you have to be such and such in order to be ready for marriage( aside from character traits). For example the financial readiness can be an idol. Its wise to manage money but things can change and who should you be trusting to provide? If you are a believer isnt it God. So be careful not be reIying on your ability to be financial secure because money comes and it goes things happen to make you not 'financially secure'.
Most marriages in the Bible involved both parties being at the starting point in life. Financial viability came with time and generally speaking with help from the relatives. Not everyone was loaded.
I don’t need to provide for anyone except my elderly parents and my younger brother with special needs. I don’t care about anyone else but I like to help other people who are also going through a difficult situation
Even though I’m lonely I’m so glad I’m single and don’t have anyone to take care of except my younger brother with special needs and my elderly parents
@PraveenSrJ01 I think nothing wrong with that, you have found contentment. Some men would like to bash other men because there not married or whatnot. I'm happy for you.
I think their past (and your past by extension) does matter if they are still in it or controlled be it. But if they have overcome their past it points to a brighter future as they can endure struggles.
It was my dream to find a nice girl, get married someday and have kids but, it never happened, the relationships that I have been in where nothing but toxic, they used me, they took advantage of me, they cheated on me so I totally have given up on dating, I rather just be alone than get hurt over and over again
Man, I just want hope of even getting a date that doesn’t ghost me… I honestly feel like God has placed a total embargo on for any relationships with women my age, and I don’t understand why or how to fix it. I’ve always got along fantastically with every demographic, except women my age. Trying to even have conversations is like trying to pull teeth, I swear.
This is a super corny question, but are you a part of a small group? Depending on your age you could also find a young-adults group! I'm 19 and I think I found a lady in my young adults group that's very honorable and on fire for Jesus that I would like to ask out soon! God bless man, I know it's rough out here 😅
@@ZagelMedia No, not a corny question at all. I’ve been a part of several young adult groups, starting in college, but the one and only gal that I ever got beyond a friendly hello with ghosted me after the second date. And that was my first time even getting a date in… almost 4 years, I think, with one date in 2019 that also immediately ghosted me. She had never been known to ghost anyone before either. Our mutual friend (how we met) wasn’t pleased with her. I’m 26 and have been single since the end of high school, and it honestly feels like it’ll never change. I’ve tried a couple of churches in the new city I moved to for work, but it’s hard to meet anyone when they simply hustle in for service and immediately beat feet back out after it’s over. I’ve never drank or partied, just never had any interest in it. Plus, definitely not the type I’m looking for. I’m not asking for a wife by next week, I just want someone to spend time with and talk to tbh Best of wishes to you tho, I hope it works out for you both; God willing.
"not putting the burden of supporting the family on her as well" lmao, bro this is 2024 where its like selling a kidney for groceires. If thats your thought process and your plan, thats great and all, but dont have children. I make 50k a year (probly the national average) with no debt and a paid off house, and BOTH of us still need to work fulltime to support our family of four. Maybe a one income household would work if the man made 100k a year.
@@RedLegPiper I am so glad you bring this up since money has always been a worry and fear in my life and dating life especially as the reason why I hold off from dating and marriage otherwise I would have dated so many women I met in Church over the years. The “what if I don’t have enough money to raise a kid and still be in debt from student loans or something, what if I have sex and then get my wife pregnant and there’s not enough money to pay for her healthcare and other things she needs that I know have to be done, what if I don’t have enough money for this or that.” I am glad to know your marriage is working out despite the financial difficulties and you sir are an example to a fearful person like myself.
That's why it's important to take these Christian advice videos with a massive grain of salt. These Bible belter, early 20s creators have next to no real life experience so there's only ideals that they can work with (he even said he was homeschooled and only worked a short while in custodian roles - how much does he actually know about money???)
@@ilai7893you bring up a great point about Bible belting the way Protestants do. How much do they actually know and have experience with instead of forcing their ideals upon everyone? Thank you for this piece of wisdom yes moral principles and ideals are important but how can one speak about and help others in a situation they have little to no knowledge on and have zero experience with themselves?
I really appreciated this video, I have come across your videos for a while seen your face while scrolling on youtube just never watched yet, but man your a really good speaker, and it feels like your really just having a conversation which is awesome. But in 2022 my relationship status was something I had to surrender to God, and since then my single life has been better then ever, and I am getting closer and closer with God which I am happy to see. When I surrendered my singleness status I was also saying yes to God even if that means being single for the rest of my life, and I always tell people, if your relationship does point back to Jesus then it is better to stay single.
Thank you Isaac! This really opens a different pov of dating. I know for a fact that I have direction in my life! I want to be a husband, a father and I have already kick started my career in Emergency medical services. The problem is that the current job I am in right now does not pay a lot and I live in the U.S. with this crazy economy. The position where I want to be might take awhile and there is a lot of patience and waiting involved. Im just worried about putting dating off because of this situation in which I have no idea when it the moment comes.
What he says here is absolutely the truth. I am speaking as a woman who is now divorced. My ex husband used p*rn prior to being with me, prior to marriage. I did not know he was doing it behind my back in our marriage. He kept A LOT from me. I didn't find out til years later it was never really just him and me in the marriage. It later led to an extremely hard heart -- he started to hate me, withhold sex and affection, then started workplace emotional affairs. I fought to keep our family together, but he just didn't want to do things God's way. If you have a lust problem, a wandering eye problem, insecurity issues, trouble committing, you do not need to be in a relationship until you get yourself right with God first and get all these issues worked out because no other person will ever be enough for you.
I have never desired marriage at all in my 40 years of living. God has called me to a lifetime of singleness since I don't want to have kids and I don't want to get close to anyone. Though I do have difficulty getting along with women.
There is nothing wrong with being celibate. Paul practiced celibacy and even said it is better to be single as a married man devoted his time to pleasing his wife, but a single man devoted his time to pleading the lord. That it's better to marry than to burn with passion, but if you can control your sexual desires and refrain from sexual sin, it's better to remain celibate. Both being single and being married have blessing from the Lord.
@RevanKnight56 Yeah, I can understand. I've been married for almost 20 years with two kids, but I've learned that pleasing my wife (which can look different in many ways) isn't about me. It's about pleasing God. which, in return, allows God to work in my wifes heart to show that same humility. This, of course, is a constant work, but it's made our marriage strong over the years and unbreakable with the grace and power of Jesus. I'm still learning that marriage isn't about me. It's about God, and when I remember that, it's a very beautiful thing. But so is singleness when done biblically.
I was the same way. Everything growing up for me was about finding a wife. Now I’m in the early stages of my first relationship and, not that she isn’t great, but I’ve realized you cannot root your entire sense of fulfillment in a relationship. Your life needs to be complete, and a relationship is just one area that needs to completion.
I’m in a relationship ship (I’m 12) and we haven’t rlly spoke in a few days what do I do? I don’t wanna date her but before we got back together it rlly broke her when I ended it and I don’t want that happening again
Being single, living alone, ideally with a dog, is the way to go. 1. If you want company, let the most obsessed girl see you 2-3 nights a week. Then you’re alone + working. 2. Your life become peaceful, quiet and efficient. 3. YOU STILL GET SEX ALL THE TIME, AND WAY MORE THAN MARRIED / LTR PPL 4. Can set your home up how you want it. Your errands, your routine, your stuff. 5. Your edifice becomes your safe, tranquil space. You look forward to coming home every day. You feel hidden, guarded, protected. Trust me. It’s amazing.
Early 40's I have been single for 3 years, and plan on staying that way. Never married, no kids. And plan on staying this way for the rest of my life. I have been fairly successful, I pretty much can do whatever I want. Why would I want to bring drama and chaos into my peaceful, content world?
@@pela907 I mean, there is a verse where Jesus says no one will marry or be given in marriages, rather we will be like the angels in heaven and I may be mistaken, but I’m pretty sure they’re single.
Have you ever read Revelation? In the next life the body of Christ aka believers will be married to Jesus Christ, who is the head of the body. God gave us earthly marriage as a symbol pointing us to the perfect eternal marriage of Jesus to His Church. The Bible even refers to Jesus as the Bridegroom and the Church as the Bride. We will be joined together with Jesus Christ and the Church (the body of believers) for all eternity. We will NOT be single. Remember, earthly marriage is a symbol of heavenly marriage. Edit: Let us not forget that heavenly and earthly marriage are gifts from God. Earthly marriage is how men and women become husbands and wives and in turn become fathers and mothers who raise children together. Without earthly marriage and childbearing/childrearing we would NOT exist. Earthly marriage is a gift from God to us and therefore, it IS a big deal, and it is not to be mocked or taken lightly.
@@8bitneslife1985 I do agree with everything you said, but in no uncertain terms, that doesn’t help at all. If I were to get married I would not have children. I don’t even fully believe I have saving faith, now to bring a child into this world and have them use their free will to potentially get themselves sent to Hell? No thank you, it always felt like a kindness for this hypothetical child not to be born by my doing. Additionally, if marriage is literally just a metaphor, then I REALLY do not get the appeal. The whole escapade sounds depressing, start to finish.
Perhaps when your desire to serve the Lord takes precedence over marriage, then God will bless you with marriage. I've found that women are instinctively attracted to a "man on a mission". As a man, my most important relationship is the one I have with the Lord Jesus Christ. Once that relationship is good and I am sound in the faith, God's will for me and the service He would have me perform becomes clear. It's when we are serving God (and are on the mission that He has put us on) that we grow as believers, we mature as men, and we learn to serve others. I believe that once God has made a man out of you; He will bless you with a wife. Suppose God would bless you with a wife when you are still a "babe in Christ", how will you spiritually lead your home? If your wife becomes worldly and strays from the faith, will your faith stand, will you lead her as Christ leads you? Good video, brother. It's giving me a lot to think about so that I can take action in my own walk with the Lord. We must also remember, that a wife is not first prize (I speak to myself especially), first prize is a growing and intimate relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ - then our service for Him, and finally, our service toward others - should God will for you to be married, it will happen. A blessing when you are not ready to receive it, or handle it, is no blessing at all. Keep standing brothers, by His grace and wisdom.
This kind of advice will lead many people astray or be a problem with their faith. Like it or not we are still governed by the natural world and any particular society's norms and standards. I've known wonderful Christian people who desired companionship and marriage who were physically unattractive and could never have relationships. Some suffered financial loss and by the time it took to regain their viability they were pushing mid 40's and the pool of available mates was slim to non existent. People in the Bible were generally married young as well as throughout our history for many reasons (easier and safer to have children, more physically attractive, more resilient to the stresses of manual labor, less prone to giving in to sexual urges and causing pregnancies with a person they never intended to marry, etc....). WE are at a point in history where because of our disobedience and idolatry (even Christians) that God is letting us stew in our own juices so to speak. Everything is messed up and nowadays marriage and family is gonna take lots more effort on our parts than it did for our predecessors.
Absolutely! I have heard stories of people who started with little or no knowledge but managed to emerge victorious thanks to Ana Graciela Blackwelder.
Relationships are great 👍 as long as you don't involve the government , let go when the tides are rough. We have this notion that we have to be bonded together for life which is terrible decision just based on what Disney, society ,religion has painted (we need a partner is absolutely a myth and who will take care of you when you're old?) Watch divorce corp you will enjoy the documentary it real and life changing at least you won't make the lawyers rich.🙃
I have an immense desire to be married, but sometimes is just so hard, it feels like I'm never gonna be good enough and it's so hard
I feel you brother. We’ll get through this!
Likewise.... but then I remember they have yet to repeal No Fault Divorce.
God will build you into a man ready for marriage, have faith in him and he will direct your paths.
There are essential things you should be working on before you get married
1. Stable career path and income
2. Ability to provide for your self and be self reliant (rent a house/apartment, cover all bills etc)
3. Study the word and pray daily, this should be your main focus.
4. Be established in a good church community.
Focus on these 4 things and God will provide.
@@ezekielgdkI am severely lacking in the money and job department and trusting God to take leaps of faith there. But I got the daily prayer and reading the Word down. I would be a liar if I didn’t mention that sometimes I go through the motions and don’t really give God my heart but He is working on me though to not fear and not be afraid.
@@Justyouraverageguy172 Hey brother keep having faith!!! You are doing all the right things. Don’t be too hard on yourself brother, none of us are perfect in our walk and God knows that and is very merciful.
Just chill, be patient, and allow God to direct your paths. I just recently finally got my career started after months and months of prayer and a couple times actually crying to God for help. He is with you and directing you right now. It just takes time as God is very patient and articulate in his plans for you. Hang in there!!!
Being single comes with alot of freedom
@@africangirl189 I definitely agree 100%
This is somwthing i have been struggling with HARD this year.
I was engaged, we were together for 4 years and were supposed to grt married in april. But in february, we ended up breaking things off and it hurt so bad.
Now im struggling with feeling "behind" in life. Im only 23 and i know i have my whole life ahead of me, but its so hard to let go of the plans that I though were set in stone.
Thank you for this video man
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
(Rom 8:28) - I feel your pain, brother. I too had a beautiful girlfriend for 3 years, one who I was set on marrying once I got "settled". Just this past night my heart said to me, "Look at her, she is married now, and you are still on your own." This when the comfort of the scriptures is necessary! God's plans for us often take us down roads we never thought we'd take, but we must know that God uses these "unusual paths" to bring out good in our lives, and a better reward in the life to come - eternal life.
It is not easy, but it is worth more than gold, it is time to focus on the Lord, and love Him with all your heart and soul. This verse has really helped me to move on from heart pains.
Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old.
(Isa 43:18)
God bless you.
Wow. That's devastating man. Sorry to hear that. Truly.
I know it's corny advice in your time of heartbreak, but I would see something like that (after a lot of mourning and questioning) as God having better plans for me or my fiance. Maybe there was a reason things didn't work out and we know that God works out all things for good (even if what happened was "bad" for us according to our expectations and our own plans for our lives). And also, maybe think about how much more painful a divorce down the line could have been, the heartbreak would have been even greater.
I say this out of love and compassion for you, I do not mean to discount your suffering in any way or just smack you in the face with cliche advice from the Bible.
God bless brother.
🫂
I'm sorry man. Reading Joel helped me get through, because it promises that we'll be repaid for the years and describes what that's like. We're not really missing out because the blessing will come in full in the future. In addition, being in that situation basically means you fit into all the categories Jesus mentions in the Beatitudes. It's good to be blessed. I'm still single, which sucks, but at least me and Jesus are good.
I’m sorry brother. This message should encourage your heart. God is always Good!. www.gty.org/library/sermons-library/80-91/the-song-of-security
There is one more reason: See 1 Corinthians 7:32 I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs-how he can please the Lord. 33 But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world-how he can please his wife- 34 and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world-how she can please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.
He went over this one in the video. That verse also concerns pastors, and why pastors aren't to get married after taking the oath and marrying themselves to Christ.
@someweirdoguy6633 no it doesn't. Peter had a mother in law, which meant he had a wife
Doesn't work well for people with sex drives. Just sayin.
1. You have little direction
2. You're not emotionally ready
3. You're not financially ready
4. You have an addiction
5. You're not spiritually ready
6. You have no desire to be in a relationship
7. There are no quality options around you
I was definitely on the number 6 mostly, and finically one as well as well.
Marriages that start with everyone having all their ducks in a row so to speak end at the same frequency as do all others, just look at celebrity marriages. Marriage is a journey not the finish line. Traditionally and biblically people who married were at the starting point in life, not financially well off, not secure and certainly not completely emotionally developed. Many of the issues get rounded off by the mere plight of living with the same person everyday and making the whole thing work. We seem to have a cookie cutter idea of how marriages should be and that seems to be as Christians and that is "If you're celibate and save yourself till marriage then you will have an easy and successful marriage". Regardless of the fact that people with who entered marriages with celibacy and not will attest that their marriages were difficult at times. 4, 6, and 7 of your points I agree with but by the time a person gains some direction the marriage will change that because your spouse is likely going to have different ideas of how things should play out. IF you are financially ready that would probably mean you are approaching middle age by todays standards - not the greatest time to be thinking about having kids and also your best years physically speaking are long gone. Spiritually ready? Is anyone spiritually ready for anything? God determines that (look at Moses and Gideon) not the outward appearance or the summation of "well meaning" church folk.
Yeah these are basically the reasons why I’m still single… People have been tempting me to date and telling me I should get my hands dirty, but I know I’m not ready and I don’t want to date until I’m ready. This video was really reassuring for me, thanks for encouraging me and confirming what I already knew to be true in my heart.
It's definitely the right decision to wait. Right now I feel like I'm super close to asking a girl out, I'm just waiting till I sort out some personal problems so I don't harm my future wife with my baggage.
I have a friend who says he's also ready to date, but I think he's not even close. I don't think his character or relationship with Jesus Christ is mature enough to handle the responsibility of caring for another human being, anger issues, wrong intentions, and saying derogatory stuff like, "I'd just tell my wife to stfu if she's blabbering to me on and on," I wanted to confront him in that moment, but didn't want to get into that. I would feel awful for his girlfriend if he goes through with that. So sad. I know he's had a really tough childhood and upbringing with lots of family problems, but that doesn't give him any excuse in the slightest to act that way. He has deeper issues causing insecurity, anger, inauthenticity, and selfishness causing him to take it out on others.
I've been super introspective about my childhood, insecurities, trauma, worldview, beliefs in God, my purpose, and intentions for my life and I still don't feel like I'm ready! It's taken about 3-4 years of deep searching and emotional depression and hitting rock bottom TWICE for me to figure out who I truly am. It's a narrow path for sure! God is good all the time and all the time God is good!!
❤ @@ZagelMedia
“But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added into you.” Matthew 6:33.
This verse never meant that if you are a Christian and love God first, he will give you everything you want. Like a spouse or whatever. It means if you place God's Kingdom first in the choices you make, God will take care of you. You will have food to eat, clothes to wear, a place to sleep. Take care of God's business and He will take care of your business. Place God's will first. And He will take care of you and provide for you.
@@renevanderwesthuizen1520 Nailed it!
35 and been single for 10 years. I trust God he will bring me the one.
Man this touched on everything I was thinking and going through.
Thankfully God has removed all my unhealthy addictions. However at 60 my financial situation is not great. I am not in debt, but am finding it harder to earn money. So I don’t fancy my chances. I will be considered to have low market value, regardless of my walk with Jesus and my level of Godliness. Money always talks.
Far be it from me to talk authoritatively or advise as if I have the life experience as someone 30-something years your junior, but I still think there are women out there for you. Personally, I think dating apps/sites are garbage for my age group, but I actually think they work way better for your age group. Like you’ll have a better chance of finding a genuinely quality woman on one of those sites as opposed to younger people. Either way, praying for you brother.
Brother, money means nothing to God, he has it ALL and will give you what you NEED! I just watched a video on contentment, and it changed me a few hrs ago!
@@lewisedwards4058 Thank you brother 🙏 I really appreciate that. I agree that dating apps are garbage. I am old school and prefer meeting women organically when I am not looking, that is when I do meet someone. On the internet I can’t gauge how it will go till I am in the same space and feel their energy. The internet gives me a false reading. I have met a Christian lady recently and it’s going very well, though it’s require time and patience due to our current life circumstances.
@@CarlosC77 Thank you brother. I really appreciate this reminder. I know I tend to out myself under unnecessary pressure when trying to be a provider.
coming here to apologise(hoping this meets you well and has a good effect) just cause i had wanted someone aggressively teaching the word and viewed anyone who wasn't doing so as a foolish heretic were as your videos are more self help but for the view of a christian and now i see i needed to calm down and listen to all sorts of voices and your voice will always be a good one to have in my head
We’ve got to be honest about whether or not we’re really ready to be blessed with a godly woman who would make a godly wife. What are you struggling with? Do you have idols? How’s your prayer life? Do you read The Word? How do you view women? This is something we ALL need to do. Just a spiritual audit on ourselves.
There are also some deep emotional questions like;
What cause my insecurities?
How do I honor my future wife and treat her well?
Do I seek approval and attention from others too much?
Do I have the right intentions with this daughter of God?
Am I ready to commit to a lifelong relationship?
What causes me to get too angry?
How do I control my tongue and my emotions so I do not hurt my future wife?
Am I all in for Jesus Christ or am I all in on the world?
Do I represent Jesus' love well?
Will I pick up my cross daily?
Are we equally yoked? (This goes both ways, are you actively pursuing Jesus? Is she actively pursuing Jesus?)
How firm are my beliefs in God? (Do I not agree with certain things in the Bible? Do I not believe certain things? Do I not have much Faith that ____ is true?) (these can all be asked for her too)
Another SUPER deep question is: "Do I just believe in God and the Bible because I was taught it as a kid or is this stuff actually true?" And that was a big one for me, took me about 3-4 years to solidify my beliefs in God and the Bible as my own and not just "indoctrination". As a kid who grew up in churches, I was just taught what was right and wrong from my pastors, parents, and the Bible, but I didn't actually KNOW right and wrong until I kind of woke up and figured out what was right and wrong on my own. I knew _TO_ do the right thing, just not _WHY_ I should do what was right.
Do I just care about looks or character?
Will I put to death my old self or go back to my past ways?
etc.
👍👍
Amazing list for both a woman and a man @@ZagelMedia
If you're eating to be "prefect" before you commit to marriage your never gonna get there. Marriage is part of the journey not the finish line.
@@jasonwilliams8321 Perfection isn’t coming for any of us on this side of eternity that’s for sure. What I’m talking about is taking a realistic and thorough audit of your life in a basic sense: what does my home look like? What’s the state of my bedroom or bathroom? How clean am I in general? Am I at least consistently looking for ways to better myself and strengthen my mind, body, and spirit? Am I pursuing work with a goal in mind or am I aimlessly just working to live? How much time do I spend on my phone, on the internet, apps, video games, etc? How often do I read? How often do I read Scripture? How much of my time is spent engaging in sports or entertainment vs current events, history, theology, apologetics, literature, the sciences?
I’m faaar from perfect on any of these, but these are just some basic self-evaluations that I think we should employ to see if we’re really ready to be trusted with a wife. If we’re not properly taking general care of ourselves, we’re not ready to employ care and guidance to a spouse.
14:45 - Completely disagree with this man. We can’t be ignorant to a woman’s past. I have dated women with “pasts” and they have unique issues that they bring into the relationships. It’s very unwise to suggest to young men to just overlook the past. Solid video otherwise
@@Jayar_ that and the “don’t put the financial burden on your wife.” It’s 2024 and this guy forgets that he has money coming to him from us watching his videos for of course it’s easy to say. I am not saying to be a lazy man but couples both have to work unless they are rich when then the wife can stay home or the husband makes over 120k a year to cover almost anything.
@@Jayar_ your point and the “don’t put the financial burden on the wife”. It’s 2024 and this guy forgets that unless the husband is making at least 100k alone, which puts him in the top 10% nowadays, both parties have to work
@@Justyouraverageguy172'this guy'. You mean your brother in Christ right? Or perhaps you are not a believer
@@mlady8137Well As a Catholic, Eastern Orthodoxy are more of a brother in terms of faith and belies as well to us than Protestants but that is beside the point. It’s 2024 men are not supposed to put the financial burden on their wives but because of the society we live in women are more favored in the workspace than men thus you and me both know we aren’t rich or have money to allow our wives to stay home and raise the children as it’s supposed to be even though I probably won’t end up married.
In many marriages the wife is far out earning the husband.
Its interesting because where in scripture does it say you have to be such and such in order to be ready for marriage( aside from character traits). For example the financial readiness can be an idol. Its wise to manage money but things can change and who should you be trusting to provide? If you are a believer isnt it God. So be careful not be reIying on your ability to be financial secure because money comes and it goes things happen to make you not 'financially secure'.
Most marriages in the Bible involved both parties being at the starting point in life. Financial viability came with time and generally speaking with help from the relatives. Not everyone was loaded.
your videos are so necessary and important, it's a blessing for sure! thanks for all that!
Amen, thanks for sharing this video brother. May the Lord bless your family! 🤍🔥
Bro, this is so good! Definitely ministering to me.
I don’t need to provide for anyone except my elderly parents and my younger brother with special needs. I don’t care about anyone else but I like to help other people who are also going through a difficult situation
Mmm I disagree about the discounting the past
Some sins do have lifelong reprecussions, and God has specified how to repent of those sins
Even though I’m lonely I’m so glad I’m single and don’t have anyone to take care of except my younger brother with special needs and my elderly parents
Good for you.
@@Siel-bm7gx not sure if you are being sincere or sarcastic but if you are being sincere than thanks for your reply and all the best to you
@PraveenSrJ01 I think nothing wrong with that, you have found contentment. Some men would like to bash other men because there not married or whatnot. I'm happy for you.
@@Siel-bm7gx thanks for your reply and I appreciate the time you took to comment
I think their past (and your past by extension) does matter if they are still in it or controlled be it. But if they have overcome their past it points to a brighter future as they can endure struggles.
It was my dream to find a nice girl, get married someday and have kids but, it never happened, the relationships that I have been in where nothing but toxic, they used me, they took advantage of me, they cheated on me so I totally have given up on dating, I rather just be alone than get hurt over and over again
Man, I just want hope of even getting a date that doesn’t ghost me…
I honestly feel like God has placed a total embargo on for any relationships with women my age, and I don’t understand why or how to fix it. I’ve always got along fantastically with every demographic, except women my age. Trying to even have conversations is like trying to pull teeth, I swear.
This is a super corny question, but are you a part of a small group? Depending on your age you could also find a young-adults group! I'm 19 and I think I found a lady in my young adults group that's very honorable and on fire for Jesus that I would like to ask out soon! God bless man, I know it's rough out here 😅
@@ZagelMedia No, not a corny question at all.
I’ve been a part of several young adult groups, starting in college, but the one and only gal that I ever got beyond a friendly hello with ghosted me after the second date. And that was my first time even getting a date in… almost 4 years, I think, with one date in 2019 that also immediately ghosted me. She had never been known to ghost anyone before either. Our mutual friend (how we met) wasn’t pleased with her.
I’m 26 and have been single since the end of high school, and it honestly feels like it’ll never change. I’ve tried a couple of churches in the new city I moved to for work, but it’s hard to meet anyone when they simply hustle in for service and immediately beat feet back out after it’s over. I’ve never drank or partied, just never had any interest in it. Plus, definitely not the type I’m looking for.
I’m not asking for a wife by next week, I just want someone to spend time with and talk to tbh
Best of wishes to you tho, I hope it works out for you both; God willing.
Why don't you date younger women? 😎
"not putting the burden of supporting the family on her as well" lmao, bro this is 2024 where its like selling a kidney for groceires. If thats your thought process and your plan, thats great and all, but dont have children. I make 50k a year (probly the national average) with no debt and a paid off house, and BOTH of us still need to work fulltime to support our family of four. Maybe a one income household would work if the man made 100k a year.
@@RedLegPiper I am so glad you bring this up since money has always been a worry and fear in my life and dating life especially as the reason why I hold off from dating and marriage otherwise I would have dated so many women I met in Church over the years.
The “what if I don’t have enough money to raise a kid and still be in debt from student loans or something, what if I have sex and then get my wife pregnant and there’s not enough money to pay for her healthcare and other things she needs that I know have to be done, what if I don’t have enough money for this or that.”
I am glad to know your marriage is working out despite the financial difficulties and you sir are an example to a fearful person like myself.
yeah 100k to 150k is good
That's why it's important to take these Christian advice videos with a massive grain of salt. These Bible belter, early 20s creators have next to no real life experience so there's only ideals that they can work with (he even said he was homeschooled and only worked a short while in custodian roles - how much does he actually know about money???)
@@ilai7893you bring up a great point about Bible belting the way Protestants do. How much do they actually know and have experience with instead of forcing their ideals upon everyone? Thank you for this piece of wisdom yes moral principles and ideals are important but how can one speak about and help others in a situation they have little to no knowledge on and have zero experience with themselves?
@@ilai7893 Small correction. He is not from the Bible belt. He lives in Canada
I really appreciated this video, I have come across your videos for a while seen your face while scrolling on youtube just never watched yet, but man your a really good speaker, and it feels like your really just having a conversation which is awesome. But in 2022 my relationship status was something I had to surrender to God, and since then my single life has been better then ever, and I am getting closer and closer with God which I am happy to see. When I surrendered my singleness status I was also saying yes to God even if that means being single for the rest of my life, and I always tell people, if your relationship does point back to Jesus then it is better to stay single.
Thank you Isaac! This really opens a different pov of dating. I know for a fact that I have direction in my life! I want to be a husband, a father and I have already kick started my career in Emergency medical services. The problem is that the current job I am in right now does not pay a lot and I live in the U.S. with this crazy economy. The position where I want to be might take awhile and there is a lot of patience and waiting involved. Im just worried about putting dating off because of this situation in which I have no idea when it the moment comes.
What he says here is absolutely the truth. I am speaking as a woman who is now divorced. My ex husband used p*rn prior to being with me, prior to marriage. I did not know he was doing it behind my back in our marriage. He kept A LOT from me. I didn't find out til years later it was never really just him and me in the marriage. It later led to an extremely hard heart -- he started to hate me, withhold sex and affection, then started workplace emotional affairs. I fought to keep our family together, but he just didn't want to do things God's way.
If you have a lust problem, a wandering eye problem, insecurity issues, trouble committing, you do not need to be in a relationship until you get yourself right with God first and get all these issues worked out because no other person will ever be enough for you.
11:00 preach it, brother 🔥
I want to get married and have a family but I don't think it will ever happen
I’m completely unfit for relationships, that’s one of the reasons I choose to stay single
That’s crazy that people in comment using god to scam ppl
Lots of people like that out there
8:38
True.
11:34
Thanks.
15:03
Thanks.
Good content! Thx.🎉
I have never desired marriage at all in my 40 years of living. God has called me to a lifetime of singleness since I don't want to have kids and I don't want to get close to anyone. Though I do have difficulty getting along with women.
Have you ever considered religious life or the priesthood?
@@Justyouraverageguy172 I don't think either really suits me that well.
There is nothing wrong with being celibate. Paul practiced celibacy and even said it is better to be single as a married man devoted his time to pleasing his wife, but a single man devoted his time to pleading the lord. That it's better to marry than to burn with passion, but if you can control your sexual desires and refrain from sexual sin, it's better to remain celibate.
Both being single and being married have blessing from the Lord.
@@RedLegPiper The pleasing the wife part makes me especially uncomfortable unfortunately.
@RevanKnight56 Yeah, I can understand. I've been married for almost 20 years with two kids, but I've learned that pleasing my wife (which can look different in many ways) isn't about me. It's about pleasing God. which, in return, allows God to work in my wifes heart to show that same humility.
This, of course, is a constant work, but it's made our marriage strong over the years and unbreakable with the grace and power of Jesus. I'm still learning that marriage isn't about me. It's about God, and when I remember that, it's a very beautiful thing.
But so is singleness when done biblically.
@11:30- 11:32 that conviction him me😪
I'm a woman, but I do relate in some way. Thanks for the video! God bless!
12:24 💪Couldn't have said it any better.
i already plan on staying single anyway lol
Fax Bro, don’t get into a relationship, they’re complicated
@@Casillas5280 👍
Me too
I have a immense desire to be married. It feels as if I’ll never be good enough and it seems I’m in a stagnant place.
I was the same way. Everything growing up for me was about finding a wife. Now I’m in the early stages of my first relationship and, not that she isn’t great, but I’ve realized you cannot root your entire sense of fulfillment in a relationship. Your life needs to be complete, and a relationship is just one area that needs to completion.
I’m in a relationship ship (I’m 12) and we haven’t rlly spoke in a few days what do I do? I don’t wanna date her but before we got back together it rlly broke her when I ended it and I don’t want that happening again
Bro, if you’re not ready for marriage, you shouldn’t be involved in a romantic relationship.
Someone give me the tldr
If I’m already in a relationship, but have one of these should I break it off?
If you consider the woman you are dating as a potential wife then no don't break it off. She may be your best chance. 😎
Being single, living alone, ideally with a dog, is the way to go.
1. If you want company, let the most obsessed girl see you 2-3 nights a week. Then you’re alone + working.
2. Your life become peaceful, quiet and efficient.
3. YOU STILL GET SEX ALL THE TIME, AND WAY MORE THAN MARRIED / LTR PPL
4. Can set your home up how you want it. Your errands, your routine, your stuff.
5. Your edifice becomes your safe, tranquil space. You look forward to coming home every day. You feel hidden, guarded, protected.
Trust me. It’s amazing.
Thanks 🙏 for sharing
👏👏👏🔥
Weapons-grade copium
❤
Dont fall for the bots yall
They're like in every Christian channel, talking about making $60,000 a week.
W
Never met a guy that wanted to get married since he was 13... We only wanted the 📦...
First comment 😅
Second
🏅 here is your reward
God ain't wanna see me right fashoooooo 😂😂
You look like John from the chosen 🤣
Early 40's I have been single for 3 years, and plan on staying that way. Never married, no kids. And plan on staying this way for the rest of my life. I have been fairly successful, I pretty much can do whatever I want. Why would I want to bring drama and chaos into my peaceful, content world?
If we are going to be single for eternity, I don’t see the big deal about being married for 20 - 80 years. 🤷♂️
I don't think we are going to be single for eternity friend 😂. Marriage is a symbol of theosis.
@@pela907 I mean, there is a verse where Jesus says no one will marry or be given in marriages, rather we will be like the angels in heaven and I may be mistaken, but I’m pretty sure they’re single.
Have you ever read Revelation? In the next life the body of Christ aka believers will be married to Jesus Christ, who is the head of the body. God gave us earthly marriage as a symbol pointing us to the perfect eternal marriage of Jesus to His Church. The Bible even refers to Jesus as the Bridegroom and the Church as the Bride. We will be joined together with Jesus Christ and the Church (the body of believers) for all eternity. We will NOT be single. Remember, earthly marriage is a symbol of heavenly marriage.
Edit: Let us not forget that heavenly and earthly marriage are gifts from God. Earthly marriage is how men and women become husbands and wives and in turn become fathers and mothers who raise children together. Without earthly marriage and childbearing/childrearing we would NOT exist. Earthly marriage is a gift from God to us and therefore, it IS a big deal, and it is not to be mocked or taken lightly.
@@pela907Correct. The OP needs to study the Word ASAP.
@@8bitneslife1985 I do agree with everything you said, but in no uncertain terms, that doesn’t help at all. If I were to get married I would not have children. I don’t even fully believe I have saving faith, now to bring a child into this world and have them use their free will to potentially get themselves sent to Hell? No thank you, it always felt like a kindness for this hypothetical child not to be born by my doing. Additionally, if marriage is literally just a metaphor, then I REALLY do not get the appeal. The whole escapade sounds depressing, start to finish.
Perhaps when your desire to serve the Lord takes precedence over marriage, then God will bless you with marriage. I've found that women are instinctively attracted to a "man on a mission". As a man, my most important relationship is the one I have with the Lord Jesus Christ. Once that relationship is good and I am sound in the faith, God's will for me and the service He would have me perform becomes clear. It's when we are serving God (and are on the mission that He has put us on) that we grow as believers, we mature as men, and we learn to serve others. I believe that once God has made a man out of you; He will bless you with a wife. Suppose God would bless you with a wife when you are still a "babe in Christ", how will you spiritually lead your home? If your wife becomes worldly and strays from the faith, will your faith stand, will you lead her as Christ leads you? Good video, brother. It's giving me a lot to think about so that I can take action in my own walk with the Lord.
We must also remember, that a wife is not first prize (I speak to myself especially), first prize is a growing and intimate relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ - then our service for Him, and finally, our service toward others - should God will for you to be married, it will happen. A blessing when you are not ready to receive it, or handle it, is no blessing at all. Keep standing brothers, by His grace and wisdom.
Amen to all of this wonderful wisdom
This kind of advice will lead many people astray or be a problem with their faith. Like it or not we are still governed by the natural world and any particular society's norms and standards. I've known wonderful Christian people who desired companionship and marriage who were physically unattractive and could never have relationships. Some suffered financial loss and by the time it took to regain their viability they were pushing mid 40's and the pool of available mates was slim to non existent. People in the Bible were generally married young as well as throughout our history for many reasons (easier and safer to have children, more physically attractive, more resilient to the stresses of manual labor, less prone to giving in to sexual urges and causing pregnancies with a person they never intended to marry, etc....). WE are at a point in history where because of our disobedience and idolatry (even Christians) that God is letting us stew in our own juices so to speak. Everything is messed up and nowadays marriage and family is gonna take lots more effort on our parts than it did for our predecessors.
Hallelujah!!! I’m favored and blessed with $60,000 every week! Now I can afford anything and also support the work of God and the church.
Oh really? Tell me more!
This is what Ana Graciela Blackwelder does, she has changed my life.
After raising up to 60k trading with her, I bought a new house and car here in the US and also paid for my son’s (Oscar) surgery. Glory to God.shalom.
I know Ana Graciela Blackwelder, and I have also had success...
Absolutely! I have heard stories of people who started with little or no knowledge but managed to emerge victorious thanks to Ana Graciela Blackwelder.
Relationships are great 👍 as long as you don't involve the government , let go when the tides are rough.
We have this notion that we have to be bonded together for life which is terrible decision just based on what Disney, society ,religion has painted (we need a partner is absolutely a myth and who will take care of you when you're old?)
Watch divorce corp you will enjoy the documentary it real and life changing at least you won't make the lawyers rich.🙃
Once you’re over 30 it’s too late.
Not a problem
My experience exactly. 😎