*"Don't let getting lonely make you reconnect with toxic people. You shouldn't drink poison just because you're thirsty."* - so simple, yet so profound... there can be found tremendous healing in sitting with one's feelings of loneliness - being curious and honoring it, instead of running from it.
Yeah. I remind myself of this if I ever feel desperate, and just embracing that feeling as OK, you realize it's actually not gonna do anything, it's more about you giving it the negative judgment and saying, I can't feel lonely, I need someone.
That's how I felt like too when I was married for six years. My ex-wife verbally abuised me to the point where I asked myself "Why am I doing this?" No matter how ard I tried and what I did, my ex-wife always said something negative about me to make me feel like I'm worthless. After our divorce, I rediscovered my worth and I've been much happier ever since. I'm just so glad we never had any children. So, I agree with you 100%.
It is actually better to be single over any kind of relationship, cause it becomes stale and pathetic, people who disagrees are delusional and forcing their dead romance to survive
My depression and anxiety have improved tremendously since I've been single. Unhealthy relationships are WAY worse than being single. It's better to walk away than to spend years in a terrible relationship because you don't want to be alone. Also, I think being single allows you to focus on your own family, friends, hobbies, and goals. It seems like many people lose themselves in relationships and they forget to have their own identity. Being single allows you to be your own person and it's very freeing.
Well I guess God is doing me a favor by making my current boyfreind dump me and giving him a woman better than me......even though it hurts I better thank the Almighty because I will be free from anxiety over this relationships. Relationships stress me out too much. I hate them now. I'd rather be single again. They never work out in my favor anyways. God and satan always sabotages them in the blink of an eye. Yay to singleness for life.
It’s a partnership they are not happy at all if you pay attention to social media and all these celebrities either they are divorce going threw things or single.
I've had many people in my life ask me why I never married . Many of them were cheating on their spouses and very unhappy being married but still had the time to judge me for not getting married and making me feel like. an odd ball .
As long as you have friends in your life, it really does not matter if you have never married. In fact, you can do mostly everything with a friend that you would do with a spouse or a lover. The only difference is that you are with a friend because you both want to be together. With a spouse, you have made a legal commitment to be with them, even if you don’t want to. You have made a legal obligation.
Try this out, works every time. Ask the same person today, "Why did you get married"? Then, wait a few days, a week or just a great time and ask, "Why are you married"? I'll bet you anything the answers will not be the same. If someone asks me why I'm not married, I say, "Cause I'm not jumping in the fire just because you did".
You're not "an oddball." You're a good man that would rather work and improve upon himself instead of being codependent and in a relationship that doesn't suit you. Those "friends" aren't worthy of your time.
Being single is a super blessing... it free you up from all the stress and heart aches created by your partner. take that from a 10 years married guy here.
@@carolmiller5713 I'm not an introvert and I was at one time (long ago) married. Actually I think introvert is a misconception for a lot of people who embrace solitude.
@@carolmiller5713 There's not just one way to be an introvert, rather there are four shades of introversion: social, thinking, anxious, and restrained. And many introverts are a mix of all four types, rather than demonstrating one type over the others.Aug 25, 2020
I've been single all my life and don't regret it. I thought the only reason to marry was to have children & always thought there were too many people already. I listened to complaints from married friends, watched them divorce & struggle to support children on single income. I'm an introvert, and enjoy sharing events with friends & family. Some may say I'm selfish but we only have one life and I'm extremely happy with it.
People having to reproduce on an overpopulated planet with so many orphaned children out there just because they feel the need to pass on their dna is selfish. Do whatever makes you happy.
1. Developing your authentic self in solitude (reflection) 2. More time for family and friends 3. More freedom to do what you want 4. More extra resources to share to others
in elementary school we learn FACT vs OPINION so who's to determine AND/OR say whether these things are true false AND/OR neutral SERIOUSLY and before covid we had 7.6 BILLION people so life as a WHOLE still VARIES ALL in ALL SERIOUSLY why wouldn't it
What in the heck are you talking about? Your keyboard is going out; the CAPS get stuck on some words, but only in sentences that makes no sense and contain no punctuation.@@youtuber3328
I'm failing to see that any of these "reasons?" are exclusive from a state of marriage. 1. This, you can do whether married or not. 2. Would a wife, and potentially children, not be family? 3. Why would you not want to do the things that are incumbent upon a partner? I suppose you could just marry a housekeeper and give her children to keep her too busy to complain, but really? 4. A wife can bring her own resources, look, a single income for younger people is pretty meager, you can handle the bills, but not much more, at least until you've developed your career and start making much better income. But a wife can bring that income level up much sooner, and together, you can either get out of debt or better yet, never have to go into debt. Debt is what makes a bright future look unattainable, it's to be avoided, seriously. A Minor loan is something you can get beyond without real trouble, be serious debt, a mortgage, new car loans, student loans, etc. these are the chains of modern slavery. Look, a relationship that falls apart, that's hard, I don't know very many people who have never experienced it. But it's not a universal constant that all relationships are doomed. I've been married 40 years, own two houses and never carried a mortgage. The first one took work, but once we had that one licked, the next one was easy, and I've easily got the funds to buy a third with more left over. I've just learned that I don't want to be renting any longer so as I retire soon, when my current renter moves out, I'll sell that place, and use that money along with investment funds to buy a retirement place, move to it, and sell my current place to replenish my investment funds. I'm not some super successful business owner, nor is my wife, we didn't hit it big with crypto. We both had modest careers and avoided any serious debt, and major health issues as that can also make life difficult. We raised kids, bought cars, sent them to school, etc, and you could say that we made the American Dream work, that would be fair. But you can't do that giving away 20% of what you earn to interest on debt, not every month for your entire life, you can't do it. Debt kills dreams, ruins marriages, and blinds people to reality, because once they are in deep, they can't even see a way out, and they can't see a path to a future that is free of those chains. You walk away from debt, everything else is possible, even a lasting relationship and the American Dream, opportunity, not 2.3 kids and a house in the suburbs, opportunity is and always was the American Dream. But you can't have it when you're chained down under crushing debt. Slay the right dragon friends, I wish you well.
Well, let's keep the format going; it works. You are using the term "wife" exclusively, as though everyone needs one. It is possible the person who wrote the list is female and she may not want a wife. The author could also be a gay man, who would also not relate to having a wife. You did say partner once, so you're getting there. 1. This, you can do whether married or not. - No, you can't. The very term "marriage" negates that possibility. You are incorrect and illogical. Marriage and solitude do not mix. 2. Would a wife, and potentially children, not be family? - No, not in the meaning that was given. They were referring, or eluding to an existing family, not making one. Married people do lose friends. 3. Why would you not want to do the things that are incumbent upon a partner? - Why would anyone want to? For the same reason I feel the same way. I don't want to and neither does the author. I would ask, Why have a partner? But that is rhetorical since that is your argument. We are not like you. 4. A wife can bring her own resources.... - If you think that is a reason to have a relationship, then that would explain your overwhelming obsession with debt. But the author may have particular resources they might want to share with a variety of people, for only one instance. Maybe they don't need extra resources. You: it's not a universal constant that all relationships are doomed. - No one said anything about a prior relationship or any doom; those are your assumptions (or experiences). I'm single because I want to be; I enjoy it and it is my preference. We are different. There is no indoctrinating me into a lifestyle I am not comfortable with, anymore than I can convince you out of whatever it is you like. I share the same opinions and lifestyle as the author you responded to, and your lifestyle is in direct conflict with that. With the exception of extra resources (maybe), everything else on the list is exclusive to non-married people, as the author pointed out. Bear in mind, some people come with less resources than others, unless that is a prerequisite for you, and sounds like it is. The original author is correct. Being married to anyone would make #1, #2, and #3 impossible. @@piperp9535
Being single is one thing. But not having friends or family on top of that really wears people down. It’s actually quite easy to be single. But it’s not so easy to be completely alone.
Life is not easy depending on whether or not you are alone. It is easier if you’re with the right people and harder if you’re not. And yes, that includes the wrong kinds of friends and family members. People need socialization, but not necessarily friends, and even not necessarily family, if they are bad people, even if it means being without long-term relationships. Because being afraid of being alone will only make you more vulnerable to the wrong type of people.
Yeah, both mean single, but lonely means not being fine with it, despising it. Currently i'm single and looking for someone but at the same time i realize that i don't "need" them, i just want them (as an option).
@@ghardy2922 I know we are social animals (sometimes)but I don’t think you need to be in a relationship to be social and I’m sure you can be lonely in a relationship.and most people don’t know how to be alone
@@spiritea5640 Not true loneliness. Just the fact you say that makes it obvious you cant even comprehend how devastating true loneliness can be. I wouldnt wish true loneliness on my worst enemy its like someone is stabbing your organs from inside sometimes you always feel like you are not whole.
I feel like being in a relationship these days is just a cycle. Liking stage-getting to know-spending time together-misunderstandings-breakup. It's just exhausting. On the other side, being single has no stages at all. It's all about thriving, freedom, fun and many more!
I'm 75 and though I've had a few long term relationships I never married. I am familiar with those romantic CYCLES. I really enjoyed the liking and the getting to know you phases. In a happy world ppl would stop after the getting to know you phase and get up from the table, shake hands and then RUN. Away not to.
It is man. The best stage is ofc the getting to know stage, only because y’all both know y’all are into each other and there are little to no problems. But once y’all are comfortable, watch out the problems are there! Super exhausting cycle. Being a loner can be horrible at times, but it’s better than being mis treated by the wrong person. Protect your feelings and keep your head high! 👑
After twenty-eight years of marriage, three years of crappy dating, I've realized that I am so much better off and happier alone. I really truly enjoy not having another person in my life, outside of friends. Never in a million years would I have thought this, but oh my God it's so nice
Sometimes it takes the experiences you've been through in order to help undo the programming our society has instilled through the generations. I'm in my 40s and have been happily in the single flow for about 6 years. I wish I would have known this earlier in my life but the bombardment of family, societal and media pressure brainwashed me into thinking marriage and kids are what is normal and natural. The desire to be a single and child free person was seen as weird, suspicious or "a loser in life". I think when some people get divorced, the shame of those labels from society is worse than the actual end of the relationship. I think the tide is changing now and more people are seeing how being single can be a sign of strength, confidence, maturity, humbleness, creativity, freedom, etc., etc.
I'm single and I absolutely love it. Complete peace of mind, no jealousy, no arguments, no overthinking and no stress! Just me, stacking my money and achieving my goals. I can pick up and take off at anytime and I don't have to listen to anyone. I've had many partners and relations before and now I wouldn't change it.
I hear you! I saved up a bunch of money, bought a home a few weeks back and am redoing the front and back yard. I'm adding a ton of different fruit trees, cacti, palm tree, roses, a succulent and grass garden. It'll be my own little paradise. Would not have been possible if I was chasing tail.
@@hakimdiwan5101 I wrote this for myself. For myself as notes as this video is something I really need to survive on a daily basis. I need it as reminders and am sure the purpose behind this youtuber’s attempt is also to help people who are dealing with this issue . And not everyone goes to description. I’m a huge fan of this channel and big supporter. My comment wasn’t a snide one but for help.
After all the heartbreaks, I've given up on relationships and am content in being single now. If love happens again, I'll embrace it. If not, then it's fine. Just go with the flow of life.
and do you expect this "love that might happen again" to drop outta nowhere as with the "flow of life" 🤔 seems like you're just waiting for a timer to run out
I'am very happy being alone, I love having peace, I love doing what I want, I love seeing who I want when I want. No agreements, and my ❤️ will never get broken again , I love myself enough to protect myself, life is beautiful ❤❤
you’re happy being alone, Jenny? Until something happens in your life where you wish you had someone there in your corner. But hey you’re happy being alone and that’s exactly how you’ll die. Wow what a great life you lived.
@@daphnerodriguez9980 Being single gives us the full freedom to get right with GOD, to build into existence once lost relationship, between GOD and creation, between PARENT and child. 1 Corinthians Chapter 7 KJV 32 But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: 33 But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. 34 There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. 35 And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction. this world presents love as lust, and if you`re not always touched, then you are not loved = lies and fear propaganda. All of it because the MK ULTRA PROJECTS from masons. John 15:13 KJV Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. And being ALONE (not on your own) does bring forth sober mind. What I have witness in my short life so far is, souls get together for money and because they are bored and the 3th reason is, the pressure of peers and older generations. “People around me repeated daily, get married and have children and move out, so I did. Am I happily living after? NO, i`m bitter, angry, sad, broken, in fear, heavy leaden, in darkness, always in somewhat contests with people around me, who has something better, something more and so on…, I succumbed to the fear of the opinions about my life of others, thats the hurtful truth.” We start feeling lonely, because we are on our own, lonely comes not from BEING ALONE. We all suffer of something and as we like “diagnoses” then lets diagnose ourselves: too often in the company of people, leading us to fear ALONE TIME, which each soul needeth. The cure for all of our problems are: ALONE TIME AND BIBLE. Hollywood has teached us how to live and love, way too long, lets risk with all that we have and give chance to GOD through His word. KJV Bible says; Matthew 6:31 Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? Luke 12:22 And he said unto his disciples, Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat; neither for the body, what ye shall put on. Matthew 6:25 Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?
Found your channel a month and a half ago when my ex left me for my best friend. I began practicing stocisim because of your videos, specifically the "Philosphy for Breakups" video I watch every morning with my breakfast to remind myself how to get through my days. You couldn't have made this video at a better time! Thank you for everything you do!
She didn't leave you man, she set you free! You will never have as much raw energy as you do now, use it to transmute yourself and bring the divinity inside of you into your world. There is no limit to your transformation and no better time to do it right now dude! Be kind to yourself and get as much sleep as you can, time heals all wounds
@@tiggerknowsbest6817 Thank you for that perspective change. Stoicism is teaching me that “good” and “bad” are perceptions that we bring to external forces. It’s my choice entirely to see this relationship end as a good thing or a bad thing and how it will impact me. I hope through this time alone in a new city with no friends that I will find my path and stick to it boldly. I want to become the person I’m born to be.
I always found break ups very traumatic; it was almost akin to mourning a death, except the grief doesn't last as long. If you add betrayal from a best friend into the mix, I can sympathise with the hurt it must be causing. You will definitely get past it, and I think stoicism really helps in these situations - if you create a good self-narrative you can sail by without too much emotional toil, but you'll no doubt still experience those ups and downs for a while yet. Sometimes there's a silver lining to what feels like the worst situations.
You don't depend on anyone for anything?? That's self centered nonsense. No one lives in a vacuum. You depend on other people for almost everything you have in your life. You wouldn't have a house, car, phone, internet connection, food, clothes, and the thousands of other things/products you use if it weren't for other people. Human beings are social animals, we have a fundamental need to be connected to and share life experiences with family, friends...
@@joli395 So you make money out of thin air? Another person pays you or you charge someone a fee for a service. Financially speaking, you're not in a vacumm either. If you have your own business, you depend on your customers, otherwise you don't have a business. The whole 'I dont depend on anyone for anything' talk is newthink nonsense.
@@lululestat Don't change a thing= have no accountablility for anything you say or do. If your parents were as selfish as people like you, you wouldn't even be alive to give your opinion in the first place.
Stop lying to yourself and others. You're not independent from anything, you deluded feminist. Making your own money doesn't make you 'independent and strong', it's make you a functioning adult. Do you work for a company? If so, you depend on that company (other people) for your income. Do you work for yourself? If so, you depend on other people (your customers) for income. Enjoying your own company is one thing but claiming you 'don't need anyone for anything' is utter nonsense.
56% marriage end up in divorce, 80% of divorce is initiated by women, men suicide rate is much higher than women, out of 1000 men only 6.5 men is getting married. So never make women the highest priority in life. Invest your time and energy in building up your career, job, money, health, friends relatives etc.
@@De-tw7by then why build up a career or other goals Individuals build their lives to show off thats in their nature Its highly unlikely that a person grows and shows off other aspects of his life and not tend to grow in romantic arenas He will eithers its all in or all out in my humble opinion!
There's also the added benefit of having all of your resources for yourself. You can spend your money and your time how you want, and there is no one in your corner to make fun of your efforts or to tell you that what you're pursuing is wrong. Some people even see single people making a good income and call it selfish. Its called investing in the future, because we may not always be healthy or able to work. There also always seems to be a stigma against people doing better than another person. Just because someone prospers or is happy, that doesn't mean that there is less for others.
Even if anyone want sex, there is always sex workers if there is urges, it is not that hard. If people want serious relationship then sure go for it. It is clinging onto ideals that is the cause of sufferings.
Others do not understand how happy I am to be single and celibate. I used to be in relationships because I needed validation for my self esteem. Since I gained self esteem, I have no desire for romance.
Thats the thing. So many arent happy or fulfilled within thenselves and seek that from others...that doesnt work. Single people need to find peace and contentment and happiness within themselves before even contemplating marriage. A marriage can be healhty only if both parties are fine being on their own and happy within themselves.
I was single for much of my life and it was fantastic. As a single woman, I traveled the world by myself and would pick up and leave whenever I wanted. I didn't meet my current partner until I was in my 50s---it gave me my entire younger years to do whatever, and gave me a better idea of who I am and what I wanted out of a relationship if/when it came along. Now I'm with someone who admires and encourages my sense of independence/freedom. We give each other space, go on trips by ourselves, we have our own friends, and we also have a great time together.
Wow that's awesome. I find your story to be rather inspirational in all seriousness. I'm 20 and spent most of my early teen years complaining about single. Since then though staying single has allowed me to find my main passion in life and do other fun things that I receive absolute happiness from. I find your story inspirational because to me it just goes to show life can be enjoyable without someone else, you can find out more about yourself/what you want out of life, and just because you don't have a partner earlier in life isn't a bad thing either. I'd want a relationship eventually but it's never something I'd force on myself
@@DonnyBomb I'm glad you found it inspiring. Go out into the world and enjoy! Learn awesome hobbies, learn about yourself, find your love (if you want that) through self-love.
(1) Dating can be a waste of time & money. (2) You don’t have to go to places that you don’t want to go. (3) You don’t have to do things that you don’t want to do. (4) You can not put a price tag on peace-stress free. (5) People can be so dishonest & disrespectful.
5!!!!!! We live in a sick world. I loved being married in beginning. I’d do it again in a heart beat if we had the ability to make sure we knew their intentions of not using us or treating me like arm candy! Never marry again. One was a enough! Not sure I’ll date.
@@Portia620 I agree. I used to love being marry, until I lose trust on anyone, especially love. The reason is family problems, toxic friends, my anxiety. Bsides I never had a crush on anyone before, and I dont mind being single 👌
Ideally, you wouldn't have to go to places you don't want or do things you don't want in a relationship either. No respectful partner would make you do those things. Sure, people can be dishonest & disrespectful, but they can also be generous and helpful. I have no idea what your 4th statement means, but there's pros and cons to everything. Being single can suck just as much sometimes.
6) no need to interact with the partner's relatives and friends out of respect for the partner. (sometimes people force themselves to interact with their own relatives out of respect but both cases are not healthy, if you want to avoid it is already a sign that won't be good for you somehow)
@@generalkenobi2088 yes i do, but there are tangible factors that put you at a disadvantage when you belong to stigmatized group. People make assumptions about you, single people earn less in the workplace, you get treated unfairly, etc...
ive always been single and never stigmatized, also because the number of singles, like it or not, is increasing in most of the countries. And it seems they re not so desperate. Where do u live?
@@micheladerry5681 i liv in Seattle. Yes the numbers of singles are growing, but there still is the stigma man. You can't deny the stigma still exists, even in the most liberal of cities. And Seattle is among the most blue of all the cities in the world. We still got a ways to go. I'd say we won't fully get rid of the stigma until the number of adults in their 30s and older outnumber the number of those in relationships ( 30s and older)
@@micheladerry5681 and the reason i say 30 and older is because people who are single in their young years aren't really stigmatized nearly as much as adults in their 30s+. Once you turn 30, your parents, your grandparents, your aunt's, uncles, cousins, friends who have kids, etc., all start asking you about when you're gonna settle down. As if you're incomplete without a partner.
I don't understand people who are afraid to be single. I'm married, but before I met my wife, I was perfectly happy by myself. In fact I met my wife when I wasn't even looking for a girlfriend. It just happened organically at work. I never got bored when I was single. I always had something to do. I read, wrote, ran, biked, painted, made pottery, played video games, smoked weed with my friends. Dating wont magically make your life better. You have to make your own life better. Find hobbies and enjoy life by yourself and if you meet someone and fall in love along the way, that's great.
People who are afraid to be single, are the ones who are in a mental state of depression, always being dependant on others and never have faith in themselves, thats why they create fear as an excuse
@@freeman405 yes I agree, to a large extent this has always been the " norm" but at the same time look at this.. society thru tv, media, and of course social media has now been making giving up on love and not making the effort and sacrifices it requires the new " cool"..it's why so many relationships don't make it 6 months, cuz media, social programs (for females) and a million other outlets make relationships and marriages seem disposable throw away things so people get lazy and don't try
I'm 54. I was in a seven month marriage when I was 41. It was the most stressful, unhappy period of my life. Shortly after returning from our honeymoon, I noticed she was getting increasingly angrier at smaller and smaller things:- things I said but shouldn't have, did but shouldn't have, or things I didn't do or say, but should have. She was always looking for something to argue about. It brought excitement to her otherwise miserable existence. She tried tearing me and my family apart, which I refused to allow happen. Just every day, a drama. Eventually I had to leave before I either had a heart attack, or caused her some physical injuries due to excessive goading. The thing is, I'm just an ordinary guy. I didn't belong in that kind of environment. I can tolerate the most dramatic and lousy day at work, as long as I can go home to a peaceful household at the end of the day. A jobs a job, but your home is your sanctuary.
That's exactly how I view it. I see enough faces, I hear enough gossip at work. When I get home, I can look forward to peace and quiet, with some low music in the background. THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME!
Ahahahah that's funny but true. Tho I feel like the pleasure one can get from love is a lot. I am single but I don't despise short term love. It's exciting!
Some people are happier single, some are happier in a relationship. Some people are happier with multiple partners, some are happier with one. Some people are happier with children, and some are happier without. However you live your life is up to you (unless you harm or exploit someone), don’t let anyone tell you how to live it.
If you can't find happiness in being single, you will not find happiness in a relationship. Food for thought 🍏 Edit 14 June - To clarify for a few people in the replies who might have misinterpreted my comment: My main idea is that a lot of people are unhappy in being single because they feel inadequate or have issues with their personal self-worth. When you get into a relationship, you may find a sense of happiness in it, but it's also like placing a bandaid on a more deep-rooted problem. And being in a relationship does not solve your personal feelings of inadequacy or deep-rooted self-worth issues. They are still there. Your feelings of lack and inadequacy are still present and will probably manifest itself in different ways in the future. If you're interested, my latest video on my channel covers this exact topic in greater detail. Best wishes, Jeffrey
What if you can't find happiness in being in a relationship will you find happiness being single. What if happiness isn't related to happiness directly
I’ve been single for the last decade. I’m 43 now. I went to college, stayed sober, was celibate for the last 3 years and took care of a friend who was dying of cancer. It’s not the norm obviously but you can do a lot for yourself and others when single.
Celibate 3 years myself. It's kept me out of trouble being as selective as possible or just living my life as it comes to me not worrying about jumping into any kind of physical relationship. Not absolutely necessary.
Western society and tradition and the sheer false obligation to follow these dictates is the source of most people’s suffering. Amazing to me how some people never went think to question these things. Amazing.
I’m 35 and have never been in a relationship. And one thing I learned from my last ‘situation’ is that relationships aren’t for everyone and I need to operate in my own lane.
Yea bro I told this to my cousin. Most relationships end with someone getting hurt, then you can’t eat sleep or do anything cuz it brings you pain etc. Fr I don’t have time for that shit or to be worried about another person.
If you like your job, if you're healthy, financially sound, have good friendships and decent creative life, you can be amazingly happy without a partner.
I’ve been married four times, been in some kind of romantic relationship since I was 17. I’m 65 now, and have been single for three years now. I’m sorry I wasted all those years making other people happy at the expense of my own happiness
Me too. My last relationship ended (completely) Dec 2020 and my life long struggle with anxiety is gone. Calm and happy is my daily mood even when things go wrong at work. I can deal with a problem and move on not making it a big deal. Sweet sweet relief!
Until you have a medical condition and you need somebody to be there and there’s no one there because you chose to be by yourself so then life gets way harder for you and you wish you weren’t single anymore.
Everyone should be emotionally independent. That’s not the purpose of a relationship. The purpose of a relationship is to make life easier & raise your quality of life.
@@JC-li8kk But how is any relationship supposed to make your life easier or to increase its quality ? Perhaps spending time with a lover gives you joy, but it's not the only thing that can. Instead of spending time with them, you could be hanging out with a friend, with a family member, at a social event, practising a hobby you love, or even just go to the park with a picknick cloth, lie down on the grass, and stare at the sky while listening to the birds. As long as what you choose to do gives you joy or peace, why does it matter ? If you are happy while being single, why expressly try to find a partner ? Since I've started university, I've been told countless times that I SHOULD make friends, as if it was some sort of necessity to success in your studies or to be happy. I didn't make friends this year. I've made good acquaintances, who I might or might not become friends with overtime. Wether I do end up making friends or not will not change wether or not I'm happy. If you are emotionally independant, wether you are single or not, wether you have many relationships or not doesn't matter. If I've realised something over the years, it is that the only good reason to pursue a relationship, of whatever sort, with someone is your mutual appreciation of each other's company. If you do it just not to be alone, to increase your quality of life, to make your life easier, or because you believe you NEED a relationship to be happy, you most likely will never be happy anway. Plus, it's insulting for the other person, who you percieve as a mere mean to an end. And I can assure you people will know. After some time, you know when someone loves the attention you give them more than they love you as an individual.
@@maudheusghem1659 A healthy relationship benefits both ppl, not just 1. If you are to remain single forever you are going to face certain challenges that wouldn’t be as difficult if you were married. Those are just facts. I definitely would be much worse off if I were single simply because our society & economy is not built for singles. A house for 1 & a house for 2 is the same exact price. Same as things like electricity, water, gas, internet, security, lawn care, furniture, house repairs, appliances. If you somehow got a 50% discount on all these things for being single, then yes, you wouldn’t be punished for it & more ppl would be happy to stay single.
@@JC-li8kk It really depends. I am single and running multiple businesses and side gigs that is generating great income that’s able to pay off life’s expenses but despite that, I am very grateful of how my life is going, being able to give back to my local community in my country, family, and knowing the fact that I will leave a legacy behind once I depart this world is already fulfilling. I can still get a partner but I found that meeting new people in my daily life has been far more interesting rather than committing with just one. I had romantic feelings and crushes but they only lasted long enough to be overcome from what I already have from this point of my life. But hey! Follow your hearts content and do what you think is best for you, yes you to whoever is reading this! We only live “one life” afterall.
I believe that if more people adopted the mentality of being OK with being single before they enter a relationship, they'll end up avoiding a lot of common issues. Such as being aware that your partner is not going to suddenly fix everything and be the source of happiness; if you realize that they are not there for that purpose, there won't be any disappointment. Same applies to the fear of inevitably being alone - if you become comfortable with the idea of solitude BEFORE entering a relationship, you won't be afraid of what happens after the relationship.
For me being single is the best way to go. You do need some friends, family, or pet to make you feel not so alone. I've always been at my best alone, but it's not for everyone. I'll tell you, a pet, dog, cat, etc. can really be a positive force in your life, but be warned, when you lose that pet from it's death it's as devastating as losing your closest family members, Children, Mother, Father, Wife, Husband, etc.
I mostly agree. But I also think that having bad friends and broken family members can add more stress to your life than they’re worth. I love being mostly alone, and I don’t miss the drama
@@lucaseverini2002 The problem with STL is it may become LTL. Therein lies the danger. Romantic love is a wonderful thing until the expiration date shows up. Good Luck with that!
hey LOGAN!!!!! go chek a video out from Joyamina (that cute gal with an awesome accent)....she has a video out about "walking away from a girl"......I had a problem since April and when I saw this tonight.....I probably could have my head up and walk into the shop.
I'm 21 years old. My parents suspected I have autism since I was a kid, but it was never diagnosed, to this day. I also feel lonely sometimes and feel the need to have a girlfriend
Being single is great. Waking up alone. Traveling alone. Eating alone. Holidays alone. And going back to an empty apartment is the best. Having no one to truly connect with. I love the single life.
Must be why my wife and I are doing so well after 15 years together. There's that balance. We love each other, but also cherish our independence. And unless we have something planned, we don't need eachothers' permission to go hang out with friends for the day or weekend. There is no constant nagging or having to check in or check up on eachother. She's my partner in life, not someone I control. But I guess that's what trust and respect for eachother as individuals has gotten us.
I am so jealous kinda haha. Yea i got cheated on just because she felt i wasnt "paying enough attention" to my ex fiancee. I was just playing games, sleeping or watching shows when i am not with her. Every waking moment i was driving her to work, taking care of her meals, being nice to her, help her at her busniess and console her when she have night terror. She even scratch me in the middle of the night lol. Not a single shred of gratitude for what i did and went fuck around with guys. I cant do anything without her planning, every move i made was a mistake and i didnt earn enough money lol. Essentially she just wanted control to mold me into what she wants. I honestly am so much more productive and happier now without he meddling. Anger havent left me though. It sucks when people keep taking and feels entitled about what they should recieved. You are very lucky my friend. I wasted 7 years with a person that keep sucking and cheated on me and hurt me in the end. Einzelganger video kinda save me lol. I hope you can keep being that way in your relation and all the best! I wish to find someone that respect me too! Your story does inspire me. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you for sharing. Relationships can be wonderful but I think a big problem that, unlike @Notimortant, people expect their significant other to fill a hole in themselfs that can be filled by another person, a need for self love. I think the issue these days isnt that marrage is bad or outmoded its that their is a shocking amount missunderstanding or underpersuing of self love. It sounds like the two of you have enough self love to not expect another to try and fill that need. I think its often a case that we modern people fear loneliness more than love to love the other. If the love comes from an expectation to fill a personal need that with some effort can be given to oneself is it really love? Either way it sounds like you got a great thing. I will say, Don't forget to tell eachother just how grateful you are for your relationship at its core love is an appreciation a gladness, a gratitude, that the other person place or thing exists regardless of what they do for you in return. Best to you and yours.
That's the way. Live your own lives together. The moment you rely on anyone, including your spouse/partner, to make you happy, you are setting yourself up to fail.
After two great loves i had in my 30 years of life, best feeling i have known is that being happy single is the best for me. Whenever i have some company around me, makes me nervous and so stressed and anxiety is killing me. But single, hell, THATS WHERE MY PEACE IS. Loving it!
I enjoy the freedom... NOBODY has the right to tell me what I can, or cannot do. Was married for 30 years... my wife passed away, now I'm single... life is much easier being single... 💕
I don't know if it makes sense but anyway " If your con has missing temptations, short term pleasures and facing tough transition while achieving your goals , you are doing alright and are on the right path". If you would notice most of the cons with this way of thinking are short term w.r.t time . Meaning we are sad and worried for something most of the time which in real time when viewed with a broader spectrum will affect us for a very short duration irrespective of results. Calm down buddies.
I was in long term relationships from the age of 17 to 35. I’m 41 now and have been single since 35. I don’t mind being in a relationship but with my knowledge of “red flags”, I’d rather be alone and happy than to settle with someone who will eventually bring me misery and pain.
I'm in that same cycle. I have not found that human that complements me and challenges me to make the energetic drain of the relationships worth it. We are complete beings alone first.
My last relationship was over 10 years ago and these have been my best 10 years. Personal development, work, hobby's, new friendships are all like never before. I never get lonely or bored.
@@comfortable_eastyes it maybe bias to say that it is better to be single just because I came out of a toxic relationship. But I what I mean is for the mean time, its like a breathe of fresh air when you've realized that you were in a really degrading relationship and you need a break alone with yourself to reflect everything why it has came to that point
Dude I feel you. I'm 42 and was in a 8 year. I miss the body but not Werth trading in my peace and quiet. I just finished building a 3k surround sound system. Life is good.
You don't have to worry about being cheated on, you don't have to depend on anyone and you don't have to have anyone use you for money. Sure, the loneliness sucks, but there's alot of perks to being single.
Absolutely right. I have friends and loved ones that turn out to be disloyal and burden. It takes a long time for me to heal and move on. Being single, it really gives me the freedom and independence.
Yessir. You can't trust anyone out here. I have no friends and I don't care. One of them tried to stab me. I have such an immense amount of ptsd over it that I haven't talked to anyone on the phone in months. Family doesn't care either. When you lose everything, you find out who's really there for you. Turns out I had no one after all. All I have is my job and I hate that as well. I swear, video games and music are the only things keeping me sane.
@@Mistah_Boombastic_BiggieCheese I don't have an answer. That's a problem that I'm having. Who am I kidding, being alone is awful and does more harm than good, but I got ripped off so I don't trust people anymore. Everyone hates me anyway, so I'll die alone. Oh well sucks to be me
Love is a chemical reaction in the brain that fades over time! The beginning of any romantic relationship is always pleasant but after a while it loses it’s excitement due to that fact that we get bored and in humans nature we always look forward to try new things.
@youtuber3328 I think there's several factors. It could be the way they were raised. Some people are really into keeping their families together, they will keep it going no matter what. Sometimes it's trauma from their upbringing that pushes them to stay. It could be financial stability, or it could be societal pressures, there's so many factors at play. I don't think it's one specific thing, just my thoughts.
I need a relationship once in a while to remind myself of how much I enjoy being alone. When you're alone for a long time, you tend to take certain things for granted. One short relationship every 10 years does the trick.
for an artist, entrepreneur, athlete, musician, or anyone requiring commitment to a craft, the single life simply allows for more time. relationships are like having another job, so if you choose to be in one make sure its worth the effort.
When I was young I was a touring musician. Gone about three times a month just for a few days in a row . Nothing extreme. I was solid and have never cheated on any of my girlfriends. Still they felt threatened, and in three relationships in a row I was faced with the same ultimatum. "Now that we have been together for three years I want to have children...and I want you to stop playing music. In each instance the decision was painful, but not difficult. There is a country song called the fishing Song. The ultimatum there is " It's fishing or me, you can't have both. The name of the song is: I'm gonna miss her when she's gone! LOL
@@becky2235 You're right. 3 in a row....I was always clear upfront about what I was all about. Music #1 and no Kids. But they played the long game thinking that over time they could mold me into what fit their agenda. From what I hear it's a pretty common scenario.
@Unfluencer... When you are in your younger age, it is idealistic inspiring to be SINGLE throughout your life, but in your golden (old) age, dying in your bed, looking back, tears will fall from your eyes, and you wish you did the right thing... I have interviewed many single old people dying in their beds (mostly in the hospital) where I work, most of them are successful in life with their chosen field of careers but unanimously said, "DYING ALONE IS THE SADDEST PART OF THEIR LIFE."... and FRIENDS are nowhere to be found, but if you have a family of your own, even if your Spouse/Partner is not there for you (divorce), your own children or grandchildren will most probably by your side before you die... They unanimously said, "IF ONLY THEY CAN TURN BACK TIME."... unfortunately, SAD to say, "REGRETS ALWAYS COMES AT THE END."
I gave up on relationships a while ago, and I don’t regret it at all. Now I try to cultivate love as a community, and not project it on to ‘the one’ or material goods.
We are at a turning point in society. Let people who want to be on their own, be on their own and people who are looking for companionship be free to keep searching. After sex most relationships breakdown, it's only after mating and the children are born the parents stick together. It's no longer about love but bringing their children up. Let bachelor's and bachelorette be without societal pressure.
It’s better to be single 80% of the time. 20% of couples actually love each other and have a better life together than apart. The other 80% are with someone just to be with someone. The kind of people that will be unhappily married for 25 years, get a divorce and remarry within a year. Wasted 25 years of their life and took zero time to self reflect. Addiction to relationships is the number one addiction.
Dont forget, they get mental depression, uses social healthcure to cure their depression, gets medicines like anti depressivas, and doesnt even consider the fact that single people are paying a part for their therapy and still complains
I have noticed that is the norm for people in America! In my lifetime, I would like to find and be with one true love, not really interested in ticking off societal norms lol…
@@PtolemyXVII i believe in most society this has been indoctrinated by the government, because they need new generations to fuel their gasoline tanks for the vountry, otherwise the country will go extinct
yeah once i noticed no one could take time to be alone after relationships and would already be in another, so quickly, and i’m talking about most people i’ve seen, it made think most people really are codependent and afraid to be alone and just go with the next best thing. i’m good on all that.
Once you age, and when you finally realized how peaceful your life would be like when you become living single, it’s kinda addicting…you will start to choosing being single.
I am content with being single now, but do sometimes worry I will be lonely when old and most of my current loved ones have died (which are mainly older family members, plus a few friends that are older than me as well), and by that time it would probably be too late to find a partner (since you're less attractive to most people when you're old, I may be over 60 when this happens). But I also am planning to move in a few years and wont start looking for a relationship (and only maybe then) before that. I also find it important that I still would keep a decent amount of alone time in that relationship, if not its a deal breaker. As well as I would have to actually like that person, or its better to be alone. I may stay single for life (which is maybe fine) or I may have a relationship in the future
heres my fkn thoughts....I love taking pictures, my camera is always with me....when I am doing a job, people commend and admire my gear......I tell them "if you are married, you have to ask permission to buy a 400mm or 600mm surfer type lens for close to $8000!!!!! and get ready to argue or gloom and bear rejection!!!! OR.......stay single, get the money or make a loan and order that SOB lens and there is NO NEED for permission cuz YOU are THE BOSS!!!!! same as buying an import car......thats your baby!!!!
If people were different and honest and loyal and classy I wouldn’t pick this lifestyle. Thanks to our unhealthy society many of us smarten up after a while one marriage and being royally messed over big-time and lied to with an alternative life he was living was enough for me
Since getting divorced my financial, mental and physical health is so much better, my kids are happier and im a better parent. Im no longer angry, resentful or unstable from the self destructive habits I had to take part in to keep another person happy. Better alone than in a toxic marriage ✌🏻
@@thomasrudder9639 they’re stupid ass words. Being lonely doesn’t mean something is wrong with you or make you a bad person. People try so hard to sound smart. 😂👍🏽
@@thomasrudder9639 You got a better credo? Come on, tell us. You're obviously a source of tremendous enlightenment...share it with the rest of RUclips.
It's still needed to have kids so that the ethnicity will stay preserved. It won't matter that much about being happy in a relationship, it's about securing your future with the kind of people you trust and accepted your references.
To be honest, the concept of two people requiring each other and getting legally tied down together for the rest of their lives I think is not only arbitrary, but just doesn't generally play out well in most modern societies. Things naturally lose their luster and charm to us rather quickly and there's literally 24/7 exposure to virtually an infinite number of other options for partners right at our fingertips. So many singles crave romantic relationships, but the excitement and novelty of them wear off relatively fast. You gotta dump a bunch of money into them to keep them maintained, cheating happens, fights start, you spend more time and resources at couple's counseling, and if you have kids, that's a whole 'nother load of heartache that could occur, for everyone. There's deeply rooted traditional values that state how marriage is supposed to be (and fabricate how the concept even exists), but outside of that, I don't see a very legitimate reason for its presence in today's culture.
Humans are social beings, wanting to be alone means you had some form of trauma in your childness and feeling safer being alone means you only try to avoid the experience you had or you saw some bad experiences of others and you are afraid of getting those experiences like them. The modern culture had succesfully divided this social need with people feeling safer alone with internet entertaining/porn/sharing content with other people alone, remote at home. Most alone people still have the need to be with someone who accept them for who they are and being confortable with them, but they are just avoid every chance to even try to talk with others...because they think they will be rejected anyway. The truth...it happens...people get rejected, bullied or harassed, and after this trauma people try to accept their situation and try to logic their isolation as something that is better for them than trying again to talk with other people. After a point...this is untreatable, and there is no poing going back after spending decades of social isolation, it would be probably too hard to get back into the social ground unless...by luck you meet THE ONE person that has the same vibe as you and you WILL talk with eachother it being friendship or relation..if it happens...you will see what you missed..and..yea.. Basically being alone for some people is good, but most people are social so they feel better talking with other people(that accept them for who they are) because this is the principal trait of human beings, sociability.
The reason why modern society became "modern society" was because of the family unit. Nomadic loners wandering around like a dumbass never contributed to a civilised society. Not hard to understand.
I love being single! Im so sick of relationship problems, so i have been single for 9 yrs🥰 if ppl see me as a loser bc of it, it doesnt bother me. Living my best life🥳
I get lonely sometimes. I love doing stuff when i want to do it. Being in a LTR is a great deal of work. If i ever meet "the one" then so be it. If not here's to LIFE
I love this! I'm so tired of people thinking there is something wrong with me because I'm single. I just really like being my own person and I enjoy my own company ❤️
It took me a few years to appreciate the freedom of being single. As someone else said in the comments; it would have to be someone who would make a significant contribution to my life for me to give up the freedom to do what I want, when I want. I am so happy on my own now.
@@frederickrapp5396 you don’t have to wait for anyone, no one has to be worried about you and you don’t have to worry about anyone. It’s darn peaceful.
I used to be obsessed about getting a boyfriend as a teenager. Then as an adult I was terrified of being “alone”. I didn’t want to be unlovable, I wanted to mean something more to somebody, to show the world that I was worthy of love but after going to therapy and finding the root cause of all of this, I realized I’m better at entertaining myself. I got a real boyfriend for the first time last year and HONESTLY it wasn’t as cracked up as I thought it would be. It was stressful, lonely, and awkward. I realized that I don’t need a man to make me happy and I do NOT owe society anything. You came into this world alone and you WILL die alone. I’m just here to have fun at this point 💅🏾💞
"Society imposes its meaning upon us." Thats one of the major reasons we feel stigma as singles. But so many personal ambitions are crushed for the sake of relationships and marriage. By not getting married you can reach your true potential. Being married shouldn't be forced on everyone.
@@john_ipu8721 Yes. I loved doing photo/video projects as a hobby but always lacked time with the toxic relationships I've been through or me previously simping. Now that I stopped both of that I'm making more progress than I ever did. It feels more meaningful for me improving in photo/video than going through the motions of a relationship but thats just me. Everyone has to decide for themself what "purpose" they love in life. If that "purpose" seems more appealing than being in a relationship for the sake of one, then it would be wise to not to cut that "purpose" short.
I'm 29 years old now and have only once relationship in my life and it's a valuable experience that made me realize how happy and independent single life can be.
that’s what i think i need. either i get into a relationship that will fail and i get hurt, or i learn to be happy by myself and experience something true, that will last and will be a mere extension. but i don’t think either will happen to me. so, i don’t know how i will learn to be happy with myself seeing as how i’ll never be in a relationship.
It was about a year ago i realized being single is better for me mentally. I somewhst always knew i wouldn't have kids. And i just looked within and saw having a partner did more harm than good. I don't feel like im missing out and ultimately i feel good! 😅❤ Great video!
I’m not deliberately single but based on my experience, having a peace of mind is the most important thing…probably even more than having a relationship. If you can find a partner that totally complements you and lets you grow both individually and in partnership, then go ahead. Otherwise, nothing else is worth it.
Peace of mind is priceless I agree with all you said but it's easier said than done. Sometimes we may want to have a romantic partner that joins us in our endeavours and listens to us when we need attention . From my own experience that's when feelings of loneliness appear and the longer we feel it the worse they get All the best
After being dumped a few times, I am fine hanging out with good friends and my time by myself..the world needs to know that if you're single, there is nothing wrong with you. It takes a strong person to be single :-)
@@Tadesan Don't be unrealistic. Once a guy is in the ''friend zone'' with a woman, regardless of age, the odds of sex fall to a very low order of probability. How low? I have a better chance of winning a jack pot in Vegas. That's how low.
@@Tadesan stop being a loser just cus you get the chance of being one as you're anonymous. It's simple don't irritate other people with your useless 2 cents
I've been single for 5 years and I've been soooo happy. I've been growing personally and financially. I have so much peace of mind and just happy. Every time I talk to someone, I lose my peace of mind and become more stressed.
"If you are lonely when you are alone, you are in bad company". I like that phrase, like saying loneliness is the negative feelings of not wanting to hang out with yourself.
@@ginniedio1860 I am not bored anymore...I am going through the dark night of the soul and after ascending my soul, I'm not afraid of solitude anymore...I want to hang out with myself,I was taught to not rely on people for happiness as a survivor of bullying..
I love being single, I love my freedom and when I say that, I am not referring to sexual freedoms - I mean being free to go on vacation at the beach with my friends and not needing to explain myself to anyone, not having to cook for anybody but myself, not having to share a bed with another, not having to remember anniversaries and pay for gifts for the day. It's paradise. 💕
@@SleepyKwee Loneliness must be is a form of freedom too for you? Don't take it personal, but many people here try to persuade themselfs that they don't need somebody. But I think in your deepest self you feel that there's something missing. Maybe I'm wrong... but that's just what I think
@@fabianfischer7961 Maybe some people feel that way but personally, I don't feel the need for extra love, I have amazing family and friends so I don't feel lonely at all. 😀 though I am quite introverted and socialisation tires me so maybe that helps?
@@SleepyKwee I understand. Everybody can live the way he wants to. But I oftentimes see that many people just use phrases like "I like being single" for not socializing and working on their social skills. I observe this quite often.
Being single means you can cut off any partner's moodiness. By saying bye bye see you when you are human again. That's is what I am doing apart from going to work . I can please myself were I go or not and be my own genuine self . I am very independent any way . And i never get lonely . A winner all round
Getting married was the best decision I ever made. Half as many chores, House is paid off, retired in my 30s, someone to take care of you when sick, tough decisions made easier, always someone to pick you up when down & just share simple everyday life with. I would never have this freedom as a single man. I wouldn’t be able to afford a house, would have to work until my 60s, wouldn’t be able to enjoy life with all the stress of paying bills, working with no end in sight & taking care of everything by myself. Pretty sure depression would set in at some point. Marriage gave me a life worth living.
I know far too many people who when they get a romantic partner, significantly decrease how much they see their friends who have generally been their longer and know them better.
Yeah, I have lots of friends that disappear when they get in a relationship. Its silly really. And then their relationship ends, they want to see their friends again. Then they get in another relationship and disappear again. Repeat cycle. Its ridiculous to forget your friends, they are who you turn to when the crap hits the fan.
They not only significantly decrease the time they spend with friends but, more often than not, they tend to decrease their sense of self!! Then they wonder (but won't fully admit) that they feel lonely in the relationship and gave up so much... YET single ppl are constantly and automatically missassumed as being lonely and having nothing...?!?!? 🤔 As the saying goes "There is a BIG difference between being alone and lonely"! This can't be repeated enough!!!
@@viewmodeimages When you're in your thirties like I am most of your old friends move on anyway. Regardless of whether or not they're married. Some even move out of state. I sometimes feel like a loner now that I'm 36. Is that sad?
You were born single, you went through your teens single. Now why the he** is it so important to get married? Why is it so important to be with anyone in the first place?
No, humans naturally crave connection with other human beings. We naturally want to be in a relationship with a partner. That desire isn’t socially constructed by society. I think people who think like you are just coping with the fact that they don’t have anyone. Just saying(not saying you are).
@@AllenReviews True. But not entirely. Yes , humans crave for relationships . But being committed to someone means a big sacrifice. There are people who are not ready to make that.
I love being single. I split from my ex husband 14 years ago and have not had a long term relationship since. I tried dating and hated it so I havent dated and have been celibate for the last 8 years and I am so happy. The only reason I tried dating for so long was because I thought it was expected and I felt like not being in a relationship was frowned upon (I certainly wasnt invited to as many things by my married friends anymore). I wouldnt get married again, I've been hit on by so many married men who would be willing to cheat on and lie to their partners, it has sickened me tbh
Sometimes, being single can make your life so much better but the media and a lot of people around us make us feel that being single can make us lonely and sad.
@@Documenting_Life_8619I feel sorry for people who need to be accepted by others, I don't seek any validation whatsoever because i know ultimately it's neverending.... Theres No room to enjoy your life if your constantly worried what others think of you. So f__k validation and the need to feel accepted 🖕🖕🖕
After being divorced for 5 years I can say that singlehood has made all my relationships much stronger My kids, friends, and family Took me a while to feel this way.. but I have no desire to find that "special someone" anymore So to anyone reading this going through a breakup, I say to you Be patient and love yourself like never before
Reflection is truly key. Humanity should dare to look deep within, but it should also accept that more than mere physical Reflection is required for true, celestial enlightenment. "Before I start, I must see my end. Destination known, my mind's journey now begins. Upon my chariot, heart and soul's fate revealed. In Time, all points converge; hope's strength resteeled. But to earn final peace at the Universe's endless refrain, we must see all in nothingness... before we start again." 🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨ --Diamond Dragons (series)
I had the same experience 7 years after divorce. Marriage wasn't the nirvana I imagined it to be, even with a good partner. After years together, her interests focused one way, mine another. 2 good people who grew apart. Even 2 good people who never cheat or violate the vows grow apart.
IM SINGLE 61 now & I am living proof that being single is the best relationship I have ever had. NO worries, I sleep in,work, ,play Exercise and so and so on. I came to realize that marriage & courtship is not necessarily on everyone's menu nor should it be. A person must embrace him or herself as they truly are & if you absolutely feel that your journey is incomplete without a partner than by all means go back to the menu & GOOD LUCK!!
@@robocop581 yea but you'll have arguments with her and fall out and despise each other soon enough. Where if you was single you wouldn't have to go through so much emotional termoil
Iv been single for over 20yrs and I wouldn't have it any other way. I love my own company and I have the freedom to do what I like without answering or asking for anyone's permission. Plus iv saved a fortune on weddings and iv travelled the world instead
At 41 years old, I just spent a week traveling central Colombia solo/single, and couldn’t be happier. Do what I want, spend what I want, go where I want, mingle with who I want. It’s great.
I agree! I watch all of my married friends in miserable marriages. I never married, I also travel and do things that I want to do. Living freely = happiness.
I don't want to date or get married unless that person brings/adds significant value to my life cause I'm already happy on my own.
Facts and women now a days want so much when they give back so little
@@dogeofamp6037 Yeah bro just a piece of double sided meat
@@dogeofamp6037 bruh u give in 95% effort and she put in 2% ,and still complaining about how u treated them and such hahahahah the irony
@@jonathanwilliams365 true
Amen
Forget what’s better. If you’re single, make the best of it. If you are in a relationship, make the best of it.
True
true
Exactly right....👍👍👍 The choice is yours .
Exactly. Knowing which one is “better” is meaningless and lacks purpose, because you could always go from single to married or from married to single
The world is yours 🌎 life is what you make it
*"Don't let getting lonely make you reconnect with toxic people. You shouldn't drink poison just because you're thirsty."* - so simple, yet so profound... there can be found tremendous healing in sitting with one's feelings of loneliness - being curious and honoring it, instead of running from it.
Well said friend. I agree completely
Yeah. I remind myself of this if I ever feel desperate, and just embracing that feeling as OK, you realize it's actually not gonna do anything, it's more about you giving it the negative judgment and saying, I can't feel lonely, I need someone.
This shit, right here. +1
@@Dezzyyx Spot on man! So true 🌱
@@GamerSix66 So important...
It’s better to be single than be in a bad relationship, just for the sake of not being alone. The loneliest I’ve ever felt was in my marriage.
That's for sure.
That's how I felt like too when I was married for six years. My ex-wife verbally abuised me to the point where I asked myself "Why am I doing this?" No matter how ard I tried and what I did, my ex-wife always said something negative about me to make me feel like I'm worthless. After our divorce, I rediscovered my worth and I've been much happier ever since. I'm just so glad we never had any children. So, I agree with you 100%.
@@chrisconsorte7893. After reading about your experience! THANK GOD YOU NEVER HAD CHILDREN WITH HER!!! Otherwise, you'd be F**ked for life!👍💯✨
I could have written your comments as well.
It is actually better to be single over any kind of relationship, cause it becomes stale and pathetic, people who disagrees are delusional and forcing their dead romance to survive
In my experience, being single is the only way to heal your inner wounds. It's just you and the wounds, no distractions
Depends on a distraction, really. If its something truly meaningful, it may keep your attention away from those problems youve got
@@zdzistrix ?? Are you 12? Relationships are outdated? Never had a girl? Jesus
Correct...get to the core.
Absolutely 💯
YES. I would also add do not do drugs, alcohol , junk food , gambling or digital adictions.
My depression and anxiety have improved tremendously since I've been single. Unhealthy relationships are WAY worse than being single. It's better to walk away than to spend years in a terrible relationship because you don't want to be alone. Also, I think being single allows you to focus on your own family, friends, hobbies, and goals. It seems like many people lose themselves in relationships and they forget to have their own identity. Being single allows you to be your own person and it's very freeing.
Well I guess God is doing me a favor by making my current boyfreind dump me and giving him a woman better than me......even though it hurts I better thank the Almighty because I will be free from anxiety over this relationships.
Relationships stress me out too much. I hate them now. I'd rather be single again. They never work out in my favor anyways. God and satan always sabotages them in the blink of an eye.
Yay to singleness for life.
You speak truth!
but most of famous people are in a relationship.
@@okkyadit2 and so ?
It’s a partnership they are not happy at all if you pay attention to social media and all these celebrities either they are divorce going threw things or single.
I’d rather be alone for the right reasons, than with someone for the wrong reasons.
+1
Great stuff.
Totally
I’m in an arranged marriage
@@mjolninja9358 well, is that a right or wrong reason for you?
I've had many people in my life ask me why I never married . Many of them were cheating on their spouses and very unhappy being married but still had the time to judge me for not getting married and making me feel like. an odd ball .
They want you to suffer like them that's why
Sucks to be them! You go my brother in singlehood!
As long as you have friends in your life, it really does not matter if you have never married. In fact, you can do mostly everything with a friend that you would do with a spouse or a lover. The only difference is that you are with a friend because you both want to be together. With a spouse, you have made a legal commitment to be with them, even if you don’t want to. You have made a legal obligation.
Try this out, works every time. Ask the same person today, "Why did you get married"? Then, wait a few days, a week or just a great time and ask, "Why are you married"? I'll bet you anything the answers will not be the same. If someone asks me why I'm not married, I say, "Cause I'm not jumping in the fire just because you did".
You're not "an oddball."
You're a good man that would rather work and improve upon himself instead of being codependent and in a relationship that doesn't suit you.
Those "friends" aren't worthy of your time.
Being single is a super blessing... it free you up from all the stress and heart aches created by your partner. take that from a 10 years married guy here.
But you still get to interact with women right?
I've been single all my life (by choice) I've listened to complaining, worrying, tears & divorce from friends. Not sorry I missed it.
@@carolmiller5713 not only that but think about all the "married" people who are sexless or even sleep in different beds 🤷🏽♂️
Yes. Never been in a relationship (I'm glad I'm not in a toxic one) but my parents do have a toxic married life.
@@dallasmedic Right? I have friends like that. I guess if you like them as roommates, but I'd rather live alone.
I love being alone., It is not "loneliness" it is "solitude" and solitude is peace.
And, so True!
Many people don't understand that. I think there are a lot of introvert who are single. I've never married & love every minute of my life.
@@carolmiller5713 I'm not an introvert and I was at one time (long
ago) married. Actually I think introvert is a misconception for a lot of people who embrace solitude.
@@captbosco Except introvert is, by definition, person who gains energy being alone.
@@carolmiller5713
There's not just one way to be an introvert, rather there are four shades of introversion: social, thinking, anxious, and restrained. And many introverts are a mix of all four types, rather than demonstrating one type over the others.Aug 25, 2020
I've been single all my life and don't regret it. I thought the only reason to marry was to have children & always thought there were too many people already. I listened to complaints from married friends, watched them divorce & struggle to support children on single income. I'm an introvert, and enjoy sharing events with friends & family. Some may say I'm selfish but we only have one life and I'm extremely happy with it.
Oh my girl did I write that comment through someone else?
They are the selfish ones, not you. Having children is immoral.
@@truthserum5855 true
People having to reproduce on an overpopulated planet with so many orphaned children out there just because they feel the need to pass on their dna is selfish. Do whatever makes you happy.
I'm a guy and you just described my life
1. Developing your authentic self in solitude (reflection)
2. More time for family and friends
3. More freedom to do what you want
4. More extra resources to share to others
in elementary school we learn FACT vs OPINION so who's to determine AND/OR say whether these things are true false AND/OR neutral SERIOUSLY and before covid we had 7.6 BILLION people so life as a WHOLE still VARIES ALL in ALL SERIOUSLY why wouldn't it
What in the heck are you talking about? Your keyboard is going out; the CAPS get stuck on some words, but only in sentences that makes no sense and contain no punctuation.@@youtuber3328
I'm failing to see that any of these "reasons?" are exclusive from a state of marriage.
1. This, you can do whether married or not.
2. Would a wife, and potentially children, not be family?
3. Why would you not want to do the things that are incumbent upon a partner? I suppose you could just marry a housekeeper and give her children to keep her too busy to complain, but really?
4. A wife can bring her own resources, look, a single income for younger people is pretty meager, you can handle the bills, but not much more, at least until you've developed your career and start making much better income. But a wife can bring that income level up much sooner, and together, you can either get out of debt or better yet, never have to go into debt. Debt is what makes a bright future look unattainable, it's to be avoided, seriously. A Minor loan is something you can get beyond without real trouble, be serious debt, a mortgage, new car loans, student loans, etc. these are the chains of modern slavery.
Look, a relationship that falls apart, that's hard, I don't know very many people who have never experienced it. But it's not a universal constant that all relationships are doomed. I've been married 40 years, own two houses and never carried a mortgage. The first one took work, but once we had that one licked, the next one was easy, and I've easily got the funds to buy a third with more left over. I've just learned that I don't want to be renting any longer so as I retire soon, when my current renter moves out, I'll sell that place, and use that money along with investment funds to buy a retirement place, move to it, and sell my current place to replenish my investment funds. I'm not some super successful business owner, nor is my wife, we didn't hit it big with crypto. We both had modest careers and avoided any serious debt, and major health issues as that can also make life difficult. We raised kids, bought cars, sent them to school, etc, and you could say that we made the American Dream work, that would be fair. But you can't do that giving away 20% of what you earn to interest on debt, not every month for your entire life, you can't do it.
Debt kills dreams, ruins marriages, and blinds people to reality, because once they are in deep, they can't even see a way out, and they can't see a path to a future that is free of those chains. You walk away from debt, everything else is possible, even a lasting relationship and the American Dream, opportunity, not 2.3 kids and a house in the suburbs, opportunity is and always was the American Dream. But you can't have it when you're chained down under crushing debt.
Slay the right dragon friends, I wish you well.
Well, let's keep the format going; it works. You are using the term "wife" exclusively, as though everyone needs one. It is possible the person who wrote the list is female and she may not want a wife. The author could also be a gay man, who would also not relate to having a wife. You did say partner once, so you're getting there.
1. This, you can do whether married or not.
- No, you can't. The very term "marriage" negates that possibility. You are incorrect and illogical. Marriage and solitude do not mix.
2. Would a wife, and potentially children, not be family?
- No, not in the meaning that was given. They were referring, or eluding to an existing family, not making one. Married people do lose friends.
3. Why would you not want to do the things that are incumbent upon a partner?
- Why would anyone want to? For the same reason I feel the same way. I don't want to and neither does the author. I would ask, Why have a partner? But that is rhetorical since that is your argument. We are not like you.
4. A wife can bring her own resources....
- If you think that is a reason to have a relationship, then that would explain your overwhelming obsession with debt. But the author may have particular resources they might want to share with a variety of people, for only one instance. Maybe they don't need extra resources.
You: it's not a universal constant that all relationships are doomed.
- No one said anything about a prior relationship or any doom; those are your assumptions (or experiences). I'm single because I want to be; I enjoy it and it is my preference. We are different. There is no indoctrinating me into a lifestyle I am not comfortable with, anymore than I can convince you out of whatever it is you like.
I share the same opinions and lifestyle as the author you responded to, and your lifestyle is in direct conflict with that. With the exception of extra resources (maybe), everything else on the list is exclusive to non-married people, as the author pointed out. Bear in mind, some people come with less resources than others, unless that is a prerequisite for you, and sounds like it is. The original author is correct. Being married to anyone would make #1, #2, and #3 impossible. @@piperp9535
@@floridaredneck Perhaps we're just different, perhaps someone else will find value in my comments.
Being single is one thing. But not having friends or family on top of that really wears people down. It’s actually quite easy to be single. But it’s not so easy to be completely alone.
Schizoids are perfectly happy being completely alone, without friends or family or any other relationships.
no one should be alone or aim to stay alone with no friends or family, it's not what humans were built for
I'm alone and single, except for my dog.
People are shit, at this point. I'd rather it be this way.
brutally true
Life is not easy depending on whether or not you are alone. It is easier if you’re with the right people and harder if you’re not. And yes, that includes the wrong kinds of friends and family members. People need socialization, but not necessarily friends, and even not necessarily family, if they are bad people, even if it means being without long-term relationships. Because being afraid of being alone will only make you more vulnerable to the wrong type of people.
People need to understand being alone and lonely are two different things
👍x1000
People know that. The thing is, probably most lonely people are the one who's alone. We are social animals in the end
Yeah, both mean single, but lonely means not being fine with it, despising it. Currently i'm single and looking for someone but at the same time i realize that i don't "need" them, i just want them (as an option).
@@ghardy2922 I know we are social animals (sometimes)but I don’t think you need to be in a relationship to be social and I’m sure you can be lonely in a relationship.and most people don’t know how to be alone
@@spiritea5640 Not true loneliness. Just the fact you say that makes it obvious you cant even comprehend how devastating true loneliness can be. I wouldnt wish true loneliness on my worst enemy its like someone is stabbing your organs from inside sometimes you always feel like you are not whole.
I feel like being in a relationship these days is just a cycle. Liking stage-getting to know-spending time together-misunderstandings-breakup. It's just exhausting. On the other side, being single has no stages at all. It's all about thriving, freedom, fun and many more!
I'm 75 and though I've had a few long term relationships I never married. I am familiar with those romantic CYCLES. I really enjoyed the liking and the getting to know you phases. In a happy world ppl would stop after the getting to know you phase and get up from the table, shake hands and then RUN. Away not to.
It is man. The best stage is ofc the getting to know stage, only because y’all both know y’all are into each other and there are little to no problems. But once y’all are comfortable, watch out the problems are there! Super exhausting cycle. Being a loner can be horrible at times, but it’s better than being mis treated by the wrong person. Protect your feelings and keep your head high! 👑
That happens in lust not in true love, wait until you find your soulmate...
well said. and no heartache!
.
After twenty-eight years of marriage, three years of crappy dating, I've realized that I am so much better off and happier alone. I really truly enjoy not having another person in my life, outside of friends. Never in a million years would I have thought this, but oh my God it's so nice
Same here, it can be very liberating, if you're not the type to get lonely!
It's good I realised this at 23
Sometimes it takes the experiences you've been through in order to help undo the programming our society has instilled through the generations. I'm in my 40s and have been happily in the single flow for about 6 years. I wish I would have known this earlier in my life but the bombardment of family, societal and media pressure brainwashed me into thinking marriage and kids are what is normal and natural. The desire to be a single and child free person was seen as weird, suspicious or "a loser in life". I think when some people get divorced, the shame of those labels from society is worse than the actual end of the relationship.
I think the tide is changing now and more people are seeing how being single can be a sign of strength, confidence, maturity, humbleness, creativity, freedom, etc., etc.
@@coolbreeze5683
You do?
Dude I know you I was married for 25 years to a lazy bitch drama going on person
I'm single and I absolutely love it. Complete peace of mind, no jealousy, no arguments, no overthinking and no stress! Just me, stacking my money and achieving my goals. I can pick up and take off at anytime and I don't have to listen to anyone. I've had many partners and relations before and now I wouldn't change it.
"Stacking my money" 🤣. Agree with most of what you said.
I hear you! I saved up a bunch of money, bought a home a few weeks back and am redoing the front and back yard. I'm adding a ton of different fruit trees, cacti, palm tree, roses, a succulent and grass garden. It'll be my own little paradise. Would not have been possible if I was chasing tail.
@@thedude8526 glad to hear it
100% Agreed, except the money part, LOL.
100% this 👍🏻
1. Marriage and relationships don’t necessarily make us happier.
2. Cultivating healthier ways of love.
3. Freedom.
4. Self- sufficiency.
Nice. Thank you
It's already in description with timestamps.
@@hakimdiwan5101 I wrote this for myself. For myself as notes as this video is something I really need to survive on a daily basis. I need it as reminders and am sure the purpose behind this youtuber’s attempt is also to help people who are dealing with this issue . And not everyone goes to description. I’m a huge fan of this channel and big supporter. My comment wasn’t a snide one but for help.
@@Zoya194 Oh alright.
I already am single but just wanted to watch this to make sure if i'm doing the wrong thing.
(Spoiler alert: i'm not)
After all the heartbreaks, I've given up on relationships and am content in being single now. If love happens again, I'll embrace it. If not, then it's fine. Just go with the flow of life.
It's as if I just read my own post.
The way of the samurai.
I am independent and enjoy my solitude.But still likes to do travelling with decent and interesting people. Covid made it very difficult ...
@@logosoni7119 the way of the ronin. I have no masters.
and do you expect this "love that might happen again" to drop outta nowhere as with the "flow of life" 🤔 seems like you're just waiting for a timer to run out
I'am very happy being alone, I love having peace, I love doing what I want, I love seeing who I want when I want. No agreements, and my ❤️ will never get broken again , I love myself enough to protect myself, life is beautiful ❤❤
you’re happy being alone, Jenny? Until something happens in your life where you wish you had someone there in your corner. But hey you’re happy being alone and that’s exactly how you’ll die. Wow what a great life you lived.
@@JP-cb8bzJust how do you mean that to her?
THANKS YOU GOODNESS 🌟 DAPHNE COTTON ALWAYS 💜
@@daphnerodriguez9980 Being single gives us the full freedom to get right with GOD, to build into existence once lost relationship, between GOD and creation, between PARENT and child.
1 Corinthians Chapter 7 KJV
32 But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:
33 But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. 34 There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.
35 And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.
this world presents love as lust, and if you`re not always touched, then you are not loved = lies and fear propaganda. All of it because the MK ULTRA PROJECTS from masons.
John 15:13 KJV Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
And being ALONE (not on your own) does bring forth sober mind.
What I have witness in my short life so far is, souls get together for money and because they are bored and the 3th reason is, the pressure of peers and older generations. “People around me repeated daily, get married and have children and move out, so I did. Am I happily living after? NO, i`m bitter, angry, sad, broken, in fear, heavy leaden, in darkness, always in somewhat contests with people around me, who has something better, something more and so on…, I succumbed to the fear of the opinions about my life of others, thats the hurtful truth.”
We start feeling lonely, because we are on our own, lonely comes not from BEING ALONE. We all suffer of something and as we like “diagnoses” then lets diagnose ourselves: too often in the company of people, leading us to fear ALONE TIME, which each soul needeth. The cure for all of our problems are: ALONE TIME AND BIBLE. Hollywood has teached us how to live and love, way too long, lets risk with all that we have and give chance to GOD through His word.
KJV Bible says;
Matthew 6:31
Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?
Luke 12:22
And he said unto his disciples, Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat; neither for the body, what ye shall put on.
Matthew 6:25
Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?
Found your channel a month and a half ago when my ex left me for my best friend. I began practicing stocisim because of your videos, specifically the "Philosphy for Breakups" video I watch every morning with my breakfast to remind myself how to get through my days. You couldn't have made this video at a better time! Thank you for everything you do!
She didn't leave you man, she set you free! You will never have as much raw energy as you do now, use it to transmute yourself and bring the divinity inside of you into your world. There is no limit to your transformation and no better time to do it right now dude! Be kind to yourself and get as much sleep as you can, time heals all wounds
I also love the "Philosophy for Breakups" video although what I'm experiencing is technically not a breakup, but a heartbreak.
@@tiggerknowsbest6817 Thank you for that perspective change. Stoicism is teaching me that “good” and “bad” are perceptions that we bring to external forces. It’s my choice entirely to see this relationship end as a good thing or a bad thing and how it will impact me. I hope through this time alone in a new city with no friends that I will find my path and stick to it boldly. I want to become the person I’m born to be.
Thank you for your comment, and I'm sorry to hear. Hopefully, Stoic philosophy works as a bandage on the wound. Stay strong! - Einzel.
I always found break ups very traumatic; it was almost akin to mourning a death, except the grief doesn't last as long. If you add betrayal from a best friend into the mix, I can sympathise with the hurt it must be causing. You will definitely get past it, and I think stoicism really helps in these situations - if you create a good self-narrative you can sail by without too much emotional toil, but you'll no doubt still experience those ups and downs for a while yet. Sometimes there's a silver lining to what feels like the worst situations.
my parents were together for 50 years and they hated each other. Marriage is not guaranteed happiness.
Lmfao
Life is guaranteed unhappiness
The same thing here. They are in a constant war.
That is a waste of existence..i wish atleast they are just friends
You not lying 😏
I love being on my own....I don't depend on anyone for anything. It gives me a great feeling of freedom, independence and strength!
You don't depend on anyone for anything??
That's self centered nonsense. No one lives in a vacuum. You depend on other people for almost everything you have in your life. You wouldn't have a house, car, phone, internet connection, food, clothes, and the thousands of other things/products you use if it weren't for other people.
Human beings are social animals, we have a fundamental need to be connected to and share life experiences with family, friends...
@@joli395 So you make money out of thin air? Another person pays you or you charge someone a fee for a service. Financially speaking, you're not in a vacumm either. If you have your own business, you depend on your customers, otherwise you don't have a business.
The whole 'I dont depend on anyone for anything' talk is newthink nonsense.
Agreed do what makes you happy don’t change a thing ❤️❤️❤️
@@lululestat Don't change a thing= have no accountablility for anything you say or do.
If your parents were as selfish as people like you, you wouldn't even be alive to give your opinion in the first place.
Stop lying to yourself and others.
You're not independent from anything, you deluded feminist. Making your own money doesn't make you 'independent and strong', it's make you a functioning adult.
Do you work for a company? If so, you depend on that company (other people) for your income.
Do you work for yourself? If so, you depend on other people (your customers) for income.
Enjoying your own company is one thing but claiming you 'don't need anyone for anything' is utter nonsense.
I was never happy in relationships but always happy as a single.
36yr old male. Been single for 10yrs. Best decision ever. Theres no price too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.
56% marriage end up in divorce, 80% of divorce is initiated by women, men suicide rate is much higher than women, out of 1000 men only 6.5 men is getting married. So never make women the highest priority in life. Invest your time and energy in building up your career, job, money, health, friends relatives etc.
@@De-tw7by then why build up a career or other goals
Individuals build their lives to show off thats in their nature
Its highly unlikely that a person grows and shows off other aspects of his life and not tend to grow in romantic arenas
He will eithers its all in or all out in my humble opinion!
There's also the added benefit of having all of your resources for yourself. You can spend your money and your time how you want, and there is no one in your corner to make fun of your efforts or to tell you that what you're pursuing is wrong.
Some people even see single people making a good income and call it selfish. Its called investing in the future, because we may not always be healthy or able to work. There also always seems to be a stigma against people doing better than another person. Just because someone prospers or is happy, that doesn't mean that there is less for others.
48 year female here...single two years.. I hear yo vibe!
Nietzsche quoted that lol
Married people don't actually live longer, it just feels like longer.
😂
Yes because you spend time with the *same* person.
HAHAHAHA
Hahhaaa... this is so funny😂😂
Lol
I am 22 and i've been single all my life. Still a virgin, I don't care about sex. If I happen to find a partner great. If not then I am ok with that.
Good for you bro .
Respect.
Sigma -Balls- Male moment
Exactly
Even if anyone want sex, there is always sex workers if there is urges, it is not that hard. If people want serious relationship then sure go for it. It is clinging onto ideals that is the cause of sufferings.
Others do not understand how happy I am to be single and celibate. I used to be in relationships because I needed validation for my self esteem. Since I gained self esteem, I have no desire for romance.
Thank you for your comment specifically 🙏
How did u gain self esteem
Same here. How did you gain self esteem?
Thats the thing. So many arent happy or fulfilled within thenselves and seek that from others...that doesnt work. Single people need to find peace and contentment and happiness within themselves before even contemplating marriage. A marriage can be healhty only if both parties are fine being on their own and happy within themselves.
How did you get that self estil. I Really need it now
I was single for much of my life and it was fantastic. As a single woman, I traveled the world by myself and would pick up and leave whenever I wanted. I didn't meet my current partner until I was in my 50s---it gave me my entire younger years to do whatever, and gave me a better idea of who I am and what I wanted out of a relationship if/when it came along. Now I'm with someone who admires and encourages my sense of independence/freedom. We give each other space, go on trips by ourselves, we have our own friends, and we also have a great time together.
Wow that's awesome. I find your story to be rather inspirational in all seriousness. I'm 20 and spent most of my early teen years complaining about single. Since then though staying single has allowed me to find my main passion in life and do other fun things that I receive absolute happiness from. I find your story inspirational because to me it just goes to show life can be enjoyable without someone else, you can find out more about yourself/what you want out of life, and just because you don't have a partner earlier in life isn't a bad thing either. I'd want a relationship eventually but it's never something I'd force on myself
@@DonnyBomb I'm glad you found it inspiring. Go out into the world and enjoy! Learn awesome hobbies, learn about yourself, find your love (if you want that) through self-love.
@Elma Kano Prieto Go to bed. You're obviously too young to be able to engage in mature discussion. Run along now.
@@helenaville5939 did you just assume they age??? 😳 WOW! 😂
👏🏻💙🦋
(1) Dating can be a waste of time & money.
(2) You don’t have to go to places that you don’t want to go.
(3) You don’t have to do things that you don’t want to do.
(4) You can not put a price tag on peace-stress free.
(5) People can be so dishonest & disrespectful.
5!!!!!! We live in a sick world. I loved being married in beginning. I’d do it again in a heart beat if we had the ability to make sure we knew their intentions of not using us or treating me like arm candy! Never marry again. One was a enough! Not sure I’ll date.
what do you mean number 5 ? people won't respect you when you are single
@@Portia620 I agree. I used to love being marry, until I lose trust on anyone, especially love. The reason is family problems, toxic friends, my anxiety. Bsides I never had a crush on anyone before, and I dont mind being single 👌
Ideally, you wouldn't have to go to places you don't want or do things you don't want in a relationship either. No respectful partner would make you do those things. Sure, people can be dishonest & disrespectful, but they can also be generous and helpful. I have no idea what your 4th statement means, but there's pros and cons to everything. Being single can suck just as much sometimes.
6) no need to interact with the partner's relatives and friends out of respect for the partner.
(sometimes people force themselves to interact with their own relatives out of respect but both cases are not healthy, if you want to avoid it is already a sign that won't be good for you somehow)
I look forward to the day when being single is truly accepted in society and not stigmatized
That would be great, but just live life without worrying about what is/isn’t accepted in society. It’s pretty refreshing.
@@generalkenobi2088 yes i do, but there are tangible factors that put you at a disadvantage when you belong to stigmatized group. People make assumptions about you, single people earn less in the workplace, you get treated unfairly, etc...
ive always been single and never stigmatized, also because the number of singles, like it or not, is increasing in most of the countries. And it seems they re not so desperate. Where do u live?
@@micheladerry5681 i liv in Seattle. Yes the numbers of singles are growing, but there still is the stigma man. You can't deny the stigma still exists, even in the most liberal of cities. And Seattle is among the most blue of all the cities in the world. We still got a ways to go. I'd say we won't fully get rid of the stigma until the number of adults in their 30s and older outnumber the number of those in relationships ( 30s and older)
@@micheladerry5681 and the reason i say 30 and older is because people who are single in their young years aren't really stigmatized nearly as much as adults in their 30s+. Once you turn 30, your parents, your grandparents, your aunt's, uncles, cousins, friends who have kids, etc., all start asking you about when you're gonna settle down. As if you're incomplete without a partner.
I don't understand people who are afraid to be single. I'm married, but before I met my wife, I was perfectly happy by myself. In fact I met my wife when I wasn't even looking for a girlfriend. It just happened organically at work.
I never got bored when I was single. I always had something to do. I read, wrote, ran, biked, painted, made pottery, played video games, smoked weed with my friends. Dating wont magically make your life better. You have to make your own life better. Find hobbies and enjoy life by yourself and if you meet someone and fall in love along the way, that's great.
People who are afraid to be single, are the ones who are in a mental state of depression, always being dependant on others and never have faith in themselves, thats why they create fear as an excuse
If you were perfectly happy being single then WHY did you marry? Obviously you knew somewhere within, the happiness of being with someone
It's the society what makes you believe you need someone else to be happy.
@@freeman405 yes I agree, to a large extent this has always been the " norm" but at the same time look at this.. society thru tv, media, and of course social media has now been making giving up on love and not making the effort and sacrifices it requires the new " cool"..it's why so many relationships don't make it 6 months, cuz media, social programs (for females) and a million other outlets make relationships and marriages seem disposable throw away things so people get lazy and don't try
@@brandonnguyen9555 what you said is something that making me think now. Thanks for sharing ur thoughts
I'm 54. I was in a seven month marriage when I was 41. It was the most stressful, unhappy period of my life. Shortly after returning from our honeymoon, I noticed she was getting increasingly angrier at smaller and smaller things:- things I said but shouldn't have, did but shouldn't have, or things I didn't do or say, but should have. She was always looking for something to argue about. It brought excitement to her otherwise miserable existence. She tried tearing me and my family apart, which I refused to allow happen. Just every day, a drama. Eventually I had to leave before I either had a heart attack, or caused her some physical injuries due to excessive goading. The thing is, I'm just an ordinary guy. I didn't belong in that kind of environment.
I can tolerate the most dramatic and lousy day at work, as long as I can go home to a peaceful household at the end of the day.
A jobs a job, but your home is your sanctuary.
Am your age ! I had the same issue with my sister after my dad died - luckily I had another house to go back to 🙂....and never returned
Having a stressfull job + a toxic wife at home is a killer combination.
Well said! That’s what I live by
That's exactly how I view it. I see enough faces, I hear enough gossip at work. When I get home, I can look forward to peace and quiet, with some low music in the background. THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME!
I'm so sorry you went through that. Women can be devilish. I'm currently going through it. Hope i can escape her before its too late
"To marry is to halve your rights and double your responsibilities"
-Arthur Schopenhauer
For guys not for girls
Ahahahah that's funny but true.
Tho I feel like the pleasure one can get from love is a lot. I am single but I don't despise short term love. It's exciting!
Arthur was a pessimist. He didn't have philosophy on anything that wasn't doom.
@@m916c OH, cry me a river. Are the big bad girls pushing you around and beating up on you (fat lip emoji)?
@@JaysonT1 no they are getting away with possessions they have not earned through divorce settlements. Read between the lines you dunce
After being single for almost 20 years now - I got addicted to it ... the freedom is priceless !
Some people are happier single, some are happier in a relationship. Some people are happier with multiple partners, some are happier with one. Some people are happier with children, and some are happier without. However you live your life is up to you (unless you harm or exploit someone), don’t let anyone tell you how to live it.
Amen
AMEN, AMEN, AMEN!!
Exactly! Well put!
What if I’m not happy regardless?
Well said! Everyone is different
If you can't find happiness in being single, you will not find happiness in a relationship. Food for thought 🍏
Edit 14 June - To clarify for a few people in the replies who might have misinterpreted my comment:
My main idea is that a lot of people are unhappy in being single because they feel inadequate or have issues with their personal self-worth. When you get into a relationship, you may find a sense of happiness in it, but it's also like placing a bandaid on a more deep-rooted problem. And being in a relationship does not solve your personal feelings of inadequacy or deep-rooted self-worth issues. They are still there. Your feelings of lack and inadequacy are still present and will probably manifest itself in different ways in the future. If you're interested, my latest video on my channel covers this exact topic in greater detail.
Best wishes, Jeffrey
+1
Now that is the truth.
So true, you should be able to be happy by yourself. If you need someone else to feel happy, it means that you lack something.
Ai ai sir
What if you can't find happiness in being in a relationship will you find happiness being single. What if happiness isn't related to happiness directly
I’ve been single for the last decade. I’m 43 now. I went to college, stayed sober, was celibate for the last 3 years and took care of a friend who was dying of cancer. It’s not the norm obviously but you can do a lot for yourself and others when single.
What's the norm. I read some that the new norm was first used after WW1 that's the thing with the norm it always changes
But than also goes against the thing about being unique
@@ddsjgvk Talk to people around you and live your life, then you will know the norm.
Celibate 3 years myself.
It's kept me out of trouble being as selective as possible or just living my life as it comes to me not worrying about jumping into any kind of physical relationship.
Not absolutely necessary.
Western society and tradition and the sheer false obligation to follow these dictates is the source of most people’s suffering.
Amazing to me how some people never went think to question these things. Amazing.
I’m 35 and have never been in a relationship. And one thing I learned from my last ‘situation’ is that relationships aren’t for everyone and I need to operate in my own lane.
I just don't trust people. I don't really like being single but the risk of someone ruining you is just too high.
Yea bro I told this to my cousin. Most relationships end with someone getting hurt, then you can’t eat sleep or do anything cuz it brings you pain etc. Fr I don’t have time for that shit or to be worried about another person.
Don't be afraid... even if you get hurt, it will only prepare you mentally! Love is a wonderful thing even with pain
Gab hug maybe you are too trusting
@gab hug Monster bean
@@ermerijc5398 Only good if it's not from an abusive or manipulative partner
If you like your job, if you're healthy, financially sound, have good friendships and decent creative life, you can be amazingly happy without a partner.
You sum it up nicely.
I agree
I'd even go as far as to say if you have deep widom inside you and you're not fighting for very basic survival needs you'll also be really happy.
I don't have friends yet :(
@Casual Scum Get a second job, namely the job of finding another job or exploring new lifestyles. Otherwise, you could die young and unhappy.
I’ve been married four times, been in some kind of romantic relationship since I was 17. I’m 65 now, and have been single for three years now. I’m sorry I wasted all those years making other people happy at the expense of my own happiness
We need to learn from that
Good for you!! Being in a relationship is overrated!!
Me too. My last relationship ended (completely) Dec 2020 and my life long struggle with anxiety is gone. Calm and happy is my daily mood even when things go wrong at work. I can deal with a problem and move on not making it a big deal. Sweet sweet relief!
Wow.... you should have watched the redpill when you were 20, now you live the life of regret, I hope the afterlife is a better one...
You hit the nail on the head
So so true. I've been in long term relationships for 17 years of my life. Now that I am single and self-sufficient, I've never been happier. Love it ❤
Until you have a medical condition and you need somebody to be there and there’s no one there because you chose to be by yourself so then life gets way harder for you and you wish you weren’t single anymore.
@@JP-cb8bzyes, yes, of course, get married so you'll have someone to spoon feed and take you to the bathroom.
Unforrunately,being engaged with someone does not guarantee that he/she will be with you if serious medical troubles occur.@@JP-cb8bz
I tried them both. Even child. Single now. Forever.😎
@@JP-cb8bz that's not a good reason to seek a relationship
“Some people are single at heart”. That totally resonated with me. I love the emotional self-autonomy of it. ❤️
Everyone should be emotionally independent. That’s not the purpose of a relationship. The purpose of a relationship is to make life easier & raise your quality of life.
I wish I were like you. I really do.
@@JC-li8kk
But how is any relationship supposed to make your life easier or to increase its quality ?
Perhaps spending time with a lover gives you joy, but it's not the only thing that can. Instead of spending time with them, you could be hanging out with a friend, with a family member, at a social event, practising a hobby you love, or even just go to the park with a picknick cloth, lie down on the grass, and stare at the sky while listening to the birds. As long as what you choose to do gives you joy or peace, why does it matter ? If you are happy while being single, why expressly try to find a partner ?
Since I've started university, I've been told countless times that I SHOULD make friends, as if it was some sort of necessity to success in your studies or to be happy. I didn't make friends this year. I've made good acquaintances, who I might or might not become friends with overtime. Wether I do end up making friends or not will not change wether or not I'm happy. If you are emotionally independant, wether you are single or not, wether you have many relationships or not doesn't matter.
If I've realised something over the years, it is that the only good reason to pursue a relationship, of whatever sort, with someone is your mutual appreciation of each other's company. If you do it just not to be alone, to increase your quality of life, to make your life easier, or because you believe you NEED a relationship to be happy, you most likely will never be happy anway. Plus, it's insulting for the other person, who you percieve as a mere mean to an end. And I can assure you people will know. After some time, you know when someone loves the attention you give them more than they love you as an individual.
@@maudheusghem1659 A healthy relationship benefits both ppl, not just 1. If you are to remain single forever you are going to face certain challenges that wouldn’t be as difficult if you were married. Those are just facts. I definitely would be much worse off if I were single simply because our society & economy is not built for singles. A house for 1 & a house for 2 is the same exact price. Same as things like electricity, water, gas, internet, security, lawn care, furniture, house repairs, appliances. If you somehow got a 50% discount on all these things for being single, then yes, you wouldn’t be punished for it & more ppl would be happy to stay single.
@@JC-li8kk It really depends. I am single and running multiple businesses and side gigs that is generating great income that’s able to pay off life’s expenses but despite that, I am very grateful of how my life is going, being able to give back to my local community in my country, family, and knowing the fact that I will leave a legacy behind once I depart this world is already fulfilling. I can still get a partner but I found that meeting new people in my daily life has been far more interesting rather than committing with just one. I had romantic feelings and crushes but they only lasted long enough to be overcome from what I already have from this point of my life. But hey! Follow your hearts content and do what you think is best for you, yes you to whoever is reading this! We only live “one life” afterall.
I believe that if more people adopted the mentality of being OK with being single before they enter a relationship, they'll end up avoiding a lot of common issues. Such as being aware that your partner is not going to suddenly fix everything and be the source of happiness; if you realize that they are not there for that purpose, there won't be any disappointment. Same applies to the fear of inevitably being alone - if you become comfortable with the idea of solitude BEFORE entering a relationship, you won't be afraid of what happens after the relationship.
You wrote what I was thinking, and put it more clearly.
Great point.
“If you are lonely, but not alone, you are in bad company…” sums up my life right now. Reflecting back, I was always happier single.
The other way around is even more true:
"If you are alone, and not lonely, you are in good company."
I knew that but went a while ignoring it.
For me being single is the best way to go. You do need some friends, family, or pet to make you feel not so alone. I've always been at my best alone, but it's not for everyone. I'll tell you, a pet, dog, cat, etc. can really be a positive force in your life, but be warned, when you lose that pet from it's death it's as devastating as losing your closest family members, Children, Mother, Father, Wife, Husband, etc.
I mostly agree. But I also think that having bad friends and broken family members can add more stress to your life than they’re worth. I love being mostly alone, and I don’t miss the drama
Pet bereavement is utterly brutal.
Very true. A woman was weeping to me recently, saying she didn't know how she'd survive because of her dying dog!
There's a saying that 'You have to learn & be comfortable by yourself first before you can be with others'
@@JTL664
Yes!
Fact! I am not good at relationships. I do better without other people's drama. I enjoy being single!
Agree👍👍me too Im 29 yrs old now and im so very happy to be a single
@@bernagordon5637 You never need permission to do anything. even if it's nothing
@@Magnetron33 oh ok😁
Well, honestly, I'm single but I'll do my best to find some short term love. I'm not good in relationships but I wanna learn.
@@lucaseverini2002 The problem with STL is it may become LTL. Therein lies the danger. Romantic love is a wonderful thing until the expiration date shows up. Good Luck with that!
“Loneliness expresses the pain of being alone and solitude expresses the glory of being alone.” -Paul Tillich.
Autistic, 28 years old. Never been in a relationship in my life. I feel lonely and sad at times, but i also like being alone.. It's a weird feeling.
Ayyy, same
That's really relatable. 🤝🏼
Same here, Its a single thing
hey LOGAN!!!!! go chek a video out from Joyamina (that cute gal with an awesome accent)....she has a video out about "walking away from a girl"......I had a problem since April and when I saw this tonight.....I probably could have my head up and walk into the shop.
I'm 21 years old. My parents suspected I have autism since I was a kid, but it was never diagnosed, to this day. I also feel lonely sometimes and feel the need to have a girlfriend
Being single is great.
Waking up alone.
Traveling alone.
Eating alone.
Holidays alone.
And going back to an empty apartment is the best.
Having no one to truly connect with. I love the single life.
Who said being single means you have to be alone all the time? Make friends and maintain platonic relationships
What a bunch of bs
Lol that's why you get a dog. Problem solved.
OK. @ William77511
I have peace of mind being single and i can do anytthing to be happy.
I never felt more alone than during the time I was married.
Me too
I agree.
This is the healing part. Once you get through it. Nothing can stop you.
Keep pushing.. let them go. .. focus on MONEY
All this philosophy and yall normies cant find someone to be happy with. You should all read Industrial Society and its Future.
Must be why my wife and I are doing so well after 15 years together. There's that balance. We love each other, but also cherish our independence. And unless we have something planned, we don't need eachothers' permission to go hang out with friends for the day or weekend. There is no constant nagging or having to check in or check up on eachother. She's my partner in life, not someone I control. But I guess that's what trust and respect for eachother as individuals has gotten us.
I am so jealous kinda haha. Yea i got cheated on just because she felt i wasnt "paying enough attention" to my ex fiancee. I was just playing games, sleeping or watching shows when i am not with her.
Every waking moment i was driving her to work, taking care of her meals, being nice to her, help her at her busniess and console her when she have night terror. She even scratch me in the middle of the night lol.
Not a single shred of gratitude for what i did and went fuck around with guys. I cant do anything without her planning, every move i made was a mistake and i didnt earn enough money lol. Essentially she just wanted control to mold me into what she wants. I honestly am so much more productive and happier now without he meddling. Anger havent left me though.
It sucks when people keep taking and feels entitled about what they should recieved.
You are very lucky my friend. I wasted 7 years with a person that keep sucking and cheated on me and hurt me in the end. Einzelganger video kinda save me lol.
I hope you can keep being that way in your relation and all the best! I wish to find someone that respect me too! Your story does inspire me. Thank you for sharing!
@@lukelim5094 hope you’ll be able to heal your wounds and keep on becoming a better person for yourself
Thank you for sharing. Relationships can be wonderful but I think a big problem that, unlike @Notimortant, people expect their significant other to fill a hole in themselfs that can be filled by another person, a need for self love. I think the issue these days isnt that marrage is bad or outmoded its that their is a shocking amount missunderstanding or underpersuing of self love. It sounds like the two of you have enough self love to not expect another to try and fill that need. I think its often a case that we modern people fear loneliness more than love to love the other. If the love comes from an expectation to fill a personal need that with some effort can be given to oneself is it really love? Either way it sounds like you got a great thing. I will say, Don't forget to tell eachother just how grateful you are for your relationship at its core love is an appreciation a gladness, a gratitude, that the other person place or thing exists regardless of what they do for you in return. Best to you and yours.
That's true goals! Congratulations to you two!
That's the way. Live your own lives together. The moment you rely on anyone, including your spouse/partner, to make you happy, you are setting yourself up to fail.
After two great loves i had in my 30 years of life, best feeling i have known is that being happy single is the best for me. Whenever i have some company around me, makes me nervous and so stressed and anxiety is killing me. But single, hell, THATS WHERE MY PEACE IS. Loving it!
I enjoy the freedom... NOBODY has the right to tell me what I can, or cannot do. Was married for 30 years... my wife passed away, now I'm single... life is much easier being single... 💕
My thing is with everything you choose in life, there are pros & cons. Just decide which pros and cons you can live with! 😊
Wise words
@@daedricdragon5976 ❤️❤️
"You don't get to choose not to pay a price, you only get to choose which price you're going to pay"
Insights on psilocybin
Or just accept and embrace the path you’re on, because neither path will be easy and will have their own costs.
I don't know if it makes sense but anyway " If your con has missing temptations, short term pleasures and facing tough transition while achieving your goals , you are doing alright and are on the right path". If you would notice most of the cons with this way of thinking are short term w.r.t time . Meaning we are sad and worried for something most of the time which in real time when viewed with a broader spectrum will affect us for a very short duration irrespective of results. Calm down buddies.
"Being single saves time and money"
- Pickachu
Edit: Holy pickachu i never imagined to get so many likes, thanks 👍
;-)
Pickachu 🤣
Pikachu*
Pikachu pika pika chuuuu
lolol wtf
I was in long term relationships from the age of 17 to 35. I’m 41 now and have been single since 35. I don’t mind being in a relationship but with my knowledge of “red flags”, I’d rather be alone and happy than to settle with someone who will eventually bring me misery and pain.
Damn.
So true
Me too!!!
I'm in that same cycle. I have not found that human that complements me and challenges me to make the energetic drain of the relationships worth it. We are complete beings alone first.
Welcome to the married men world.
My last relationship was over 10 years ago and these have been my best 10 years. Personal development, work, hobby's, new friendships are all like never before. I never get lonely or bored.
🤡
"If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things." - Albert Einstein.
And marry your cousin.
yeah Albert Einstein... we can ask Hiroshima and Nagasaki people about him.,
Yes, and if your goal(s) are met, you will feel good about your personal growth and accomplishments.
@@CarlosMartinez-ie8se yeah. Pearl harbor history doesn't exist...
Dosen't achieving goals require people doing things?
As someone who just came out from a toxic relationship, yes, it is indeed better to be single
Im Sorry For My Comment Earlier About Women Im Just Upset
But I Know I've Got No Need To Apologise
@@comfortable_eastyes it maybe bias to say that it is better to be single just because I came out of a toxic relationship. But I what I mean is for the mean time, its like a breathe of fresh air when you've realized that you were in a really degrading relationship and you need a break alone with yourself to reflect everything why it has came to that point
I just came out of a toxic relationship and I miss her terrible
Dude I feel you. I'm 42 and was in a 8 year. I miss the body but not Werth trading in my peace and quiet. I just finished building a 3k surround sound system. Life is good.
You don't have to worry about being cheated on, you don't have to depend on anyone and you don't have to have anyone use you for money. Sure, the loneliness sucks, but there's alot of perks to being single.
Yah, like
.Developing constructive habits
.Learning new skills
.Being in more control with your money
Absolutely right. I have friends and loved ones that turn out to be disloyal and burden. It takes a long time for me to heal and move on. Being single, it really gives me the freedom and independence.
Yessir. You can't trust anyone out here. I have no friends and I don't care. One of them tried to stab me. I have such an immense amount of ptsd over it that I haven't talked to anyone on the phone in months. Family doesn't care either. When you lose everything, you find out who's really there for you. Turns out I had no one after all. All I have is my job and I hate that as well. I swear, video games and music are the only things keeping me sane.
So what do you do when you want to have sexual intimacy?
@@Mistah_Boombastic_BiggieCheese I don't have an answer. That's a problem that I'm having. Who am I kidding, being alone is awful and does more harm than good, but I got ripped off so I don't trust people anymore. Everyone hates me anyway, so I'll die alone. Oh well sucks to be me
Love is a chemical reaction in the brain that fades over time! The beginning of any romantic relationship is always pleasant but after a while it loses it’s excitement due to that fact that we get bored and in humans nature we always look forward to try new things.
then please tell me why are CERTAIN relationships so long and successful
@youtuber3328 I think there's several factors. It could be the way they were raised. Some people are really into keeping their families together, they will keep it going no matter what. Sometimes it's trauma from their upbringing that pushes them to stay. It could be financial stability, or it could be societal pressures, there's so many factors at play. I don't think it's one specific thing, just my thoughts.
After 3 times... Who cares? 😮
I need a relationship once in a while to remind myself of how much I enjoy being alone. When you're alone for a long time, you tend to take certain things for granted.
One short relationship every 10 years does the trick.
LOL 🤣 girl you right!
😂
😂😂😂 A conversation will normally even do it. But yeah, personally on year 5 and I've being happier every year.
Awesome. This is my new practice.
I just can't be a d
for an artist, entrepreneur, athlete, musician, or anyone requiring commitment to a craft, the single life simply allows for more time. relationships are like having another job, so if you choose to be in one make sure its worth the effort.
Such a valuable advice ✨️
When I was young I was a touring musician. Gone about three times a month just for a few days in a row . Nothing extreme. I was solid and have never cheated on any of my girlfriends. Still they felt threatened, and in three relationships in a row I was faced with the same ultimatum. "Now that we have been together for three years I want to have children...and I want you to stop playing music. In each instance the decision was painful, but not difficult. There is a country song called the fishing Song. The ultimatum there is " It's fishing or me, you can't have both.
The name of the song is: I'm gonna miss her when she's gone! LOL
You're in the wrong realtionship then
@@becky2235 You're right. 3 in a row....I was always clear upfront about what I was all about. Music #1 and no Kids. But they played the long game thinking that over time they could mold me into what fit their agenda. From what I hear it's a pretty common scenario.
@Unfluencer... When you are in your younger age, it is idealistic inspiring to be SINGLE throughout your life, but in your golden (old) age, dying in your bed, looking back, tears will fall from your eyes, and you wish you did the right thing... I have interviewed many single old people dying in their beds (mostly in the hospital) where I work, most of them are successful in life with their chosen field of careers but unanimously said, "DYING ALONE IS THE SADDEST PART OF THEIR LIFE."... and FRIENDS are nowhere to be found, but if you have a family of your own, even if your Spouse/Partner is not there for you (divorce), your own children or grandchildren will most probably by your side before you die... They unanimously said, "IF ONLY THEY CAN TURN BACK TIME."... unfortunately, SAD to say, "REGRETS ALWAYS COMES AT THE END."
I gave up on relationships a while ago, and I don’t regret it at all. Now I try to cultivate love as a community, and not project it on to ‘the one’ or material goods.
We are at a turning point in society. Let people who want to be on their own, be on their own and people who are looking for companionship be free to keep searching. After sex most relationships breakdown, it's only after mating and the children are born the parents stick together. It's no longer about love but bringing their children up. Let bachelor's and bachelorette be without societal pressure.
It’s better to be single 80% of the time. 20% of couples actually love each other and have a better life together than apart.
The other 80% are with someone just to be with someone. The kind of people that will be unhappily married for 25 years, get a divorce and remarry within a year. Wasted 25 years of their life and took zero time to self reflect. Addiction to relationships is the number one addiction.
Dont forget, they get mental depression, uses social healthcure to cure their depression, gets medicines like anti depressivas, and doesnt even consider the fact that single people are paying a part for their therapy and still complains
Do those numbers come from a study or studies? Not saying I doubt their reasonableness, but I'd love to know the source.
I have noticed that is the norm for people in America! In my lifetime, I would like to find and be with one true love, not really interested in ticking off societal norms lol…
@@PtolemyXVII i believe in most society this has been indoctrinated by the government, because they need new generations to fuel their gasoline tanks for the vountry, otherwise the country will go extinct
yeah once i noticed no one could take time to be alone after relationships and would already be in another, so quickly, and i’m talking about most people i’ve seen, it made think most people really are codependent and afraid to be alone and just go with the next best thing. i’m good on all that.
Once you age, and when you finally realized how peaceful your life would be like when you become living single, it’s kinda addicting…you will start to choosing being single.
I am content with being single now, but do sometimes worry I will be lonely when old and most of my current loved ones have died (which are mainly older family members, plus a few friends that are older than me as well), and by that time it would probably be too late to find a partner (since you're less attractive to most people when you're old, I may be over 60 when this happens).
But I also am planning to move in a few years and wont start looking for a relationship (and only maybe then) before that. I also find it important that I still would keep a decent amount of alone time in that relationship, if not its a deal breaker. As well as I would have to actually like that person, or its better to be alone. I may stay single for life (which is maybe fine) or I may have a relationship in the future
heres my fkn thoughts....I love taking pictures, my camera is always with me....when I am doing a job, people commend and admire my gear......I tell them "if you are married, you have to ask permission to buy a 400mm or 600mm surfer type lens for close to $8000!!!!! and get ready to argue or gloom and bear rejection!!!! OR.......stay single, get the money or make a loan and order that SOB lens and there is NO NEED for permission cuz YOU are THE BOSS!!!!! same as buying an import car......thats your baby!!!!
If people were different and honest and loyal and classy I wouldn’t pick this lifestyle. Thanks to our unhealthy society many of us smarten up after a while one marriage and being royally messed over big-time and lied to with an alternative life he was living was enough for me
After my break up, I have come to realization that it fits me more being single than being in a relationship.
Me too.
Same
Judging by your profile picture, I'm guessing that you were smart enough to realize that a dog is a far better companion than another human.
Same here
@@BLACK-AUTUMN-MAGICK Exactly! Unfortunately, I dont own a dog lol.
Since getting divorced my financial, mental and physical health is so much better, my kids are happier and im a better parent. Im no longer angry, resentful or unstable from the self destructive habits I had to take part in to keep another person happy. Better alone than in a toxic marriage ✌🏻
“If you’re lonely when you are alone, then you are in a bad company”
Very strong and wise words !
Those are not wise words whatsoever.
Everyone gets lonely
@@thomasrudder9639 they’re stupid ass words. Being lonely doesn’t mean something is wrong with you or make you a bad person. People try so hard to sound smart. 😂👍🏽
@@thefirsttrillionaire2925 Leggo my ego
@@thomasrudder9639 You got a better credo? Come on, tell us. You're obviously a source of tremendous enlightenment...share it with the rest of RUclips.
I wouldn’t mind having a relationship with separate living conditions. That would be ideal for two independent people.
We live on opposite sides of the house. Sometimes even that isn't enough distance.
Some in different rooms, some in different houses. They made it work and are happier than being typical couples.
I’m here Mike haha 😂
Yeah, same.
It's still needed to have kids so that the ethnicity will stay preserved. It won't matter that much about being happy in a relationship, it's about securing your future with the kind of people you trust and accepted your references.
I am single and I feel free all the time, don't have pressure of anything n best of all that I don't need to compromise much in life for somebody
@Kia- T{αα}P Me!! To F.C.K W!th Me I am agree with you, having some one you love is actually real blessing for life
To be honest, the concept of two people requiring each other and getting legally tied down together for the rest of their lives I think is not only arbitrary, but just doesn't generally play out well in most modern societies. Things naturally lose their luster and charm to us rather quickly and there's literally 24/7 exposure to virtually an infinite number of other options for partners right at our fingertips. So many singles crave romantic relationships, but the excitement and novelty of them wear off relatively fast. You gotta dump a bunch of money into them to keep them maintained, cheating happens, fights start, you spend more time and resources at couple's counseling, and if you have kids, that's a whole 'nother load of heartache that could occur, for everyone. There's deeply rooted traditional values that state how marriage is supposed to be (and fabricate how the concept even exists), but outside of that, I don't see a very legitimate reason for its presence in today's culture.
Humans are social beings, wanting to be alone means you had some form of trauma in your childness and feeling safer being alone means you only try to avoid the experience you had or you saw some bad experiences of others and you are afraid of getting those experiences like them. The modern culture had succesfully divided this social need with people feeling safer alone with internet entertaining/porn/sharing content with other people alone, remote at home. Most alone people still have the need to be with someone who accept them for who they are and being confortable with them, but they are just avoid every chance to even try to talk with others...because they think they will be rejected anyway. The truth...it happens...people get rejected, bullied or harassed, and after this trauma people try to accept their situation and try to logic their isolation as something that is better for them than trying again to talk with other people. After a point...this is untreatable, and there is no poing going back after spending decades of social isolation, it would be probably too hard to get back into the social ground unless...by luck you meet THE ONE person that has the same vibe as you and you WILL talk with eachother it being friendship or relation..if it happens...you will see what you missed..and..yea.. Basically being alone for some people is good, but most people are social so they feel better talking with other people(that accept them for who they are) because this is the principal trait of human beings, sociability.
The reason why modern society became "modern society" was because of the family unit.
Nomadic loners wandering around like a dumbass never contributed to a civilised society. Not hard to understand.
No
I love being single! Im so sick of relationship problems, so i have been single for 9 yrs🥰 if ppl see me as a loser bc of it, it doesnt bother me. Living my best life🥳
Same
its better to be single than becoming a labour for other. i priorities freedom above all
And i'm sure young guy's dont want you either, is why they go for older women like me....
I get lonely sometimes. I love doing stuff when i want to do it. Being in a LTR is a great deal of work.
If i ever meet "the one" then so be it. If not here's to LIFE
But what do u do for sex?
I love this! I'm so tired of people thinking there is something wrong with me because I'm single. I just really like being my own person and I enjoy my own company ❤️
99% of population undateable
Well there is nothing wrong with you but you need friends! Being single doesn't mean to be alone.
@@lawrenceeisner3274 you must be a peach yourself
👏👏👏👏
Song: "Oh Lord, it's hard to be humble," ----I treasure my own company....
It took me a few years to appreciate the freedom of being single. As someone else said in the comments; it would have to be someone who would make a significant contribution to my life for me to give up the freedom to do what I want, when I want. I am so happy on my own now.
Nothing is better than Single life when it comes to freedom
You are correct. You can do whatever you damn please and don’t have to answer to anyone.
@@frederickrapp5396 you don’t have to wait for anyone, no one has to be worried about you and you don’t have to worry about anyone. It’s darn peaceful.
That's definitely the best part.
I used to be obsessed about getting a boyfriend as a teenager. Then as an adult I was terrified of being “alone”. I didn’t want to be unlovable, I wanted to mean something more to somebody, to show the world that I was worthy of love but after going to therapy and finding the root cause of all of this, I realized I’m better at entertaining myself. I got a real boyfriend for the first time last year and HONESTLY it wasn’t as cracked up as I thought it would be. It was stressful, lonely, and awkward. I realized that I don’t need a man to make me happy and I do NOT owe society anything. You came into this world alone and you WILL die alone. I’m just here to have fun at this point 💅🏾💞
Couldn't agree more. Just had break up.
@@bhaskardeka9020 Sorry for replying late. I hope you get to heal on your own pace and learn to love yourself
Good for you. 👍
I'm recovering. ❤❤❤ Thanks for the concern.
It’s not? I thought it was going to save me 😢
"Society imposes its meaning upon us." Thats one of the major reasons we feel stigma as singles. But so many personal ambitions are crushed for the sake of relationships and marriage. By not getting married you can reach your true potential. Being married shouldn't be forced on everyone.
if you have such "potential" you're more than free to pursue it as a lone wolf , but do you have a potential ? 😜
@@john_ipu8721 Yes. I loved doing photo/video projects as a hobby but always lacked time with the toxic relationships I've been through or me previously simping. Now that I stopped both of that I'm making more progress than I ever did. It feels more meaningful for me improving in photo/video than going through the motions of a relationship but thats just me. Everyone has to decide for themself what "purpose" they love in life. If that "purpose" seems more appealing than being in a relationship for the sake of one, then it would be wise to not to cut that "purpose" short.
I'm 29 years old now and have only once relationship in my life and it's a valuable experience that made me realize how happy and independent single life can be.
@@RStark-ek7mhWow, that was 23 years ago. May your decision always bring you happiness and freedom too
At 29 you're " just starting" you'll understand this years from now !
that’s what i think i need. either i get into a relationship that will fail and i get hurt, or i learn to be happy by myself and experience something true, that will last and will be a mere extension. but i don’t think either will happen to me. so, i don’t know how i will learn to be happy with myself seeing as how i’ll never be in a relationship.
Are you a boy or girl
@@plutoplatters it was when I'm 25, now I'm 29. I'm sorry for my broken English 😅
It was about a year ago i realized being single is better for me mentally. I somewhst always knew i wouldn't have kids. And i just looked within and saw having a partner did more harm than good. I don't feel like im missing out and ultimately i feel good! 😅❤ Great video!
When you stop smiling it's time to leave. I've applied this to everything in my life, including dog parks, jobs and relationships. I'm still single.
Love this, Jack!
Did a dog type this?
I’m not deliberately single but based on my experience, having a peace of mind is the most important thing…probably even more than having a relationship. If you can find a partner that totally complements you and lets you grow both individually and in partnership, then go ahead. Otherwise, nothing else is worth it.
Peace of mind is priceless
I agree with all you said but it's easier said than done.
Sometimes we may want to have a romantic partner that joins us in our endeavours and listens to us when we need attention . From my own experience that's when feelings of loneliness appear and the longer we feel it the worse they get
All the best
Agree. Peace of mind is the secret treasure❤.
@@Jorge.1419 I brainwashed myself to sexual neutrality lol ☠️. It was a long process though
Agreed. Nothing else is worth it.
@@優木せつ菜-y6x are female or male?
After being dumped a few times, I am fine hanging out with good friends and my time by myself..the world needs to know that if you're single, there is nothing wrong with you. It takes a strong person to be single :-)
You aren’t strong.
You can just sleep with one of your ‘good guy friends’ when you want.
@@Tadesan yup sure am strong and no I am not that type.
@@Tadesan Don't be unrealistic. Once a guy is in the ''friend zone'' with a woman, regardless of age, the odds of sex fall to a very low order of probability. How low? I have a better chance of winning a jack pot in Vegas. That's how low.
@@MegaMkmiller projecting much i see?
@@Tadesan stop being a loser just cus you get the chance of being one as you're anonymous. It's simple don't irritate other people with your useless 2 cents
I've been single for 5 years and I've been soooo happy. I've been growing personally and financially.
I have so much peace of mind and just happy. Every time I talk to someone, I lose my peace of mind and become more stressed.
I’m 43 and have been single for most of my life. And I wouldn’t have it any other way
Same here..lets date!!
@@mikewallis2987 hahaha let’s 😘
How many cats do you own?
@@JohnGeometresMaximos lol ok you win! I don’t have any but I do have 3 small fluffy dogs that share my bed. You got me 😉🥰
Lol this coming from a man vs a woman makes all the difference. Unfortunately biology and father time are not kind with women.
"If you are lonely when you are alone, you are in bad company". I like that phrase, like saying loneliness is the negative feelings of not wanting to hang out with yourself.
Yeah, but only talking to yourself becomes boring after some years. 🙄
@@ginniedio1860 I am not bored anymore...I am going through the dark night of the soul and after ascending my soul, I'm not afraid of solitude anymore...I want to hang out with myself,I was taught to not rely on people for happiness as a survivor of bullying..
I love being single, I love my freedom and when I say that, I am not referring to sexual freedoms - I mean being free to go on vacation at the beach with my friends and not needing to explain myself to anyone, not having to cook for anybody but myself, not having to share a bed with another, not having to remember anniversaries and pay for gifts for the day. It's paradise. 💕
Very sad. Do you really believe what you say?
@@fabianfischer7961 Yup, everyone has a different idea of happiness and my happiness is freedom.
@@SleepyKwee Loneliness must be is a form of freedom too for you? Don't take it personal, but many people here try to persuade themselfs that they don't need somebody. But I think in your deepest self you feel that there's something missing. Maybe I'm wrong... but that's just what I think
@@fabianfischer7961 Maybe some people feel that way but personally, I don't feel the need for extra love, I have amazing family and friends so I don't feel lonely at all. 😀 though I am quite introverted and socialisation tires me so maybe that helps?
@@SleepyKwee I understand. Everybody can live the way he wants to. But I oftentimes see that many people just use phrases like "I like being single" for not socializing and working on their social skills. I observe this quite often.
Being single means you can cut off any partner's moodiness. By saying bye bye see you when you are human again. That's is what I am doing apart from going to work . I can please myself were I go or not and be my own genuine self . I am very independent any way . And i never get lonely . A winner all round
I'm glad I have chosen to be a single woman for the past 45 years, and plan to stay that way. I love my freedom, no drama, no fights with anyone!
Do you get laid from time to time?
👍👍
👏👏👏👏👏👏
Yep!
Getting married was the best decision I ever made. Half as many chores, House is paid off, retired in my 30s, someone to take care of you when sick, tough decisions made easier, always someone to pick you up when down & just share simple everyday life with. I would never have this freedom as a single man. I wouldn’t be able to afford a house, would have to work until my 60s, wouldn’t be able to enjoy life with all the stress of paying bills, working with no end in sight & taking care of everything by myself. Pretty sure depression would set in at some point. Marriage gave me a life worth living.
@@JC-li8kk actually it depends on what job you have these days.
I know far too many people who when they get a romantic partner, significantly decrease how much they see their friends who have generally been their longer and know them better.
Yeah, I have lots of friends that disappear when they get in a relationship. Its silly really. And then their relationship ends, they want to see their friends again. Then they get in another relationship and disappear again. Repeat cycle. Its ridiculous to forget your friends, they are who you turn to when the crap hits the fan.
They not only significantly decrease the time they spend with friends but, more often than not, they tend to decrease their sense of self!! Then they wonder (but won't fully admit) that they feel lonely in the relationship and gave up so much... YET single ppl are constantly and automatically missassumed as being lonely and having nothing...?!?!? 🤔
As the saying goes "There is a BIG difference between being alone and lonely"! This can't be repeated enough!!!
@@viewmodeimages When you're in your thirties like I am most of your old friends move on anyway. Regardless of whether or not they're married. Some even move out of state. I sometimes feel like a loner now that I'm 36. Is that sad?
@@GenerationX1984 It's only sad if you declare it to be so.
@@GenerationX1984 friends are like beers, you don't cry when they're gone, you just go get more.
Staying single isn't that bad as you think it is. It's just the society that makes us think this way ( ie; being single is unfortunate and bad).
Nah, you wont be saying this if you are single birth
You were born single, you went through your teens single. Now why the he** is it so important to get married? Why is it so important to be with anyone in the first place?
No, humans naturally crave connection with other human beings. We naturally want to be in a relationship with a partner. That desire isn’t socially constructed by society. I think people who think like you are just coping with the fact that they don’t have anyone. Just saying(not saying you are).
@@AllenReviews True. But not entirely. Yes , humans crave for relationships . But being committed to someone means a big sacrifice. There are people who are not ready to make that.
@@AllenReviews Well said
I love being single. I split from my ex husband 14 years ago and have not had a long term relationship since. I tried dating and hated it so I havent dated and have been celibate for the last 8 years and I am so happy. The only reason I tried dating for so long was because I thought it was expected and I felt like not being in a relationship was frowned upon (I certainly wasnt invited to as many things by my married friends anymore). I wouldnt get married again, I've been hit on by so many married men who would be willing to cheat on and lie to their partners, it has sickened me tbh
wow, cool story, cheers!
Sometimes, being single can make your life so much better but the media and a lot of people around us make us feel that being single can make us lonely and sad.
I know it's so annoying I mean why can't it just be if you want to get married get married and if not the don't just let people be.
It is for the sake of acceptance being accepted in the public ! We do it out of fear of not being accepted !
@@Documenting_Life_8619I feel sorry for people who need to be accepted by others, I don't seek any validation whatsoever because i know ultimately it's neverending....
Theres No room to enjoy your life if your constantly worried what others think of you.
So f__k validation and the need to feel accepted 🖕🖕🖕
Do not allow other people to effect your emotions. Ignore them and experience inner peace.
It's so overrated
After being divorced for 5 years I can say that singlehood has made all my relationships much stronger
My kids, friends, and family
Took me a while to feel this way.. but I have no desire to find that "special someone" anymore
So to anyone reading this going through a breakup, I say to you
Be patient and love yourself like never before
Reflection is truly key. Humanity should dare to look deep within, but it should also accept that more than mere physical Reflection is required for true, celestial enlightenment.
"Before I start, I must see my end. Destination known, my mind's journey now begins. Upon my chariot, heart and soul's fate revealed. In Time, all points converge; hope's strength resteeled. But to earn final peace at the Universe's endless refrain, we must see all in nothingness... before we start again."
🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
--Diamond Dragons (series)
Just breakup with my girlfriend after 9 years of relationship 😢
@@nemo1112 so sorry to hear that
I was with mine for 9years also
Life goes on
Keep your head up
I had the same experience 7 years after divorce. Marriage wasn't the nirvana I imagined it to be, even with a good partner. After years together, her interests focused one way, mine another. 2 good people who grew apart. Even 2 good people who never cheat or violate the vows grow apart.
IM SINGLE 61 now & I am living proof that being single is the best relationship I have ever had. NO worries, I sleep in,work, ,play Exercise and so and so on. I came to realize that marriage & courtship is not necessarily on everyone's menu nor should it be. A person must embrace him or herself as they truly are & if you absolutely feel that your journey is incomplete without a partner than by all means go back to the menu & GOOD LUCK!!
I'm married and I sleep in, work, exercise, play, etc. Surprised huh?
Rightly so !!!
@@robocop581 yea but you'll have arguments with her and fall out and despise each other soon enough. Where if you was single you wouldn't have to go through so much emotional termoil
Iv been single for over 20yrs and I wouldn't have it any other way. I love my own company and I have the freedom to do what I like without answering or asking for anyone's permission. Plus iv saved a fortune on weddings and iv travelled the world instead
@@Runningformylife1983 I've been married 32 years. No issues. Like I said, there goes your logic
I haven’t had relations in over a dozen years.
Your efforts to make me feel better are greatly appreciated.
At 41 years old, I just spent a week traveling central Colombia solo/single, and couldn’t be happier. Do what I want, spend what I want, go where I want, mingle with who I want. It’s great.
Am in Colombia right now. I agree wholeheartedly with you.
I agree! I watch all of my married friends in miserable marriages. I never married, I also travel and do things that I want to do. Living freely = happiness.
With All those hookers over there it's impossible to be unhappy as a single man haha
But what about when you get older and vulnerable. Wouldnt you need a spouse and your children to be by your side?
@@adibzouak6106 That’s never guaranteed. I know people who are widowed and their children don’t speak to the remaining parent.