When being alone is a choice... (personal journey)
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- Опубликовано: 13 май 2024
- Self-imposed social isolation is a complex issue. I know it’s complex because I’ve experienced it myself. And to be honest, I’m still experiencing it to a certain degree. This video explores social isolation and why being alone isn’t always by accident: it’s often a choice.
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Video: When being alone is a choice... (personal journey)
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00:00 - Intro
02:31 - The complexity of social isolation
07:07 - Hiding from people
13:53 - When aloneness goes wrong
17:01 - Is there a solution?
#loner #loneliness #solitude
Surrounded by toxic hateful people; being alone is a delightful choice.
In Italy we say "Better alone than with bad company"
I agree
❤
❤
Totally.
As per my experience, the worst thing in life is not being alone but being with people who make you feel totally alone!
You took that from Robin Williams
@@DuncanL7979Doesn't make it any less true
I started dating someone after 6 years of celibacy, it didn't last too long because thats exactly how that person made me feel.. but i will not let that affect me in changing for the better and quit isolating myself
neither nor is nice
Sounds like you need more experience
"I don't hate them, I just feel better when they're not around" Yup couldn't agree more 😅
That talent of spoiling every good moment, wile pretending to be the remedy. How could anybody live without their parties & sessions.
Facts 💯
i FUCKING HATE PEOPLE, THEY SUCK.
"I hate everyone, and I just feel better when no one is around" - Me
😂that sounds like something Stewie would say on family guy when asked about Lois
"Its not that i dont like her but would prefer her to not live"
I am an introvert who can function as an extrovert when I need to. However, it simply wears me out and sucks the life out of me. I retreat to being alone to rejuvenate. I'm in my mid 60s now and my wife died a little more than 4 years ago. She and I could sit for hours reading and simply be with each other. I've had no desire to try to meet someone new or attend social functions where alcohol loosens everyone up. I have learned self-love and thoroughly enjoy reading, exercising, going to lunch by myself and so on. I find most interactions with people a chance for them to tell me their story with no real interest in learning anything about me. That's OK, I've learned to accept it and simply stay quiet. I was worried at first that I was mentally ill or depressed or something. I've come to love the peacefulness of no drama and not having any need to meet someone else's expectations. It's been quite liberating.
I feel the exact same way. You are among many of us. I love my own company. At work you would think I am an extrovert but can hardly wait to get out of work, come home, see my family, puppies and play my beloved guitars. I don’t want or need anybody else in my life. Hurt me once shame on me but hurt me twice and your out of my life. I don’t have time for games ppl play! I will not tolerate it. I deserve better and so do you!
OMG! Me too. I call it my batteries. I can go out and function, but I can tell when it's time to go home and recharge.
We're twins! I was the happy go lucky Eric, but when it was time to clock out, I couldn't run fast enough to jump in my car.@@licksnkicks1166
I'm sorry for the loss of your wife. It's lovely sharing time with someone in quiet.
@@Vashti0825 Thank you for your kindness. I’m grateful.
I don't fear being alone, I fear being in room full of people I don't trust.
In my world, that’s called hanging out with family.
@@JapanReels In my world that's called having a job.
I fear both
@@verfassungspatriot people who fear being alone are the same people who cannot face themselves.
It's kind of evolution. All the edgy bullies stay outside and the bullied stay inside
I love my own company, I don't lie to me , I don't ramble on about meaningless, materialistic crap, I don't insult me, I don't use me, I don't take advantage of me, I allow me to be me without judgement. I love me, I love peace.
On point. Hell is other people.
Preach 🏆
✌️
Mostly true 😊
I love this.
Being alone is a power that very few can handle.
°
And absolutely empowering.
I've been alone for 73 years - by choice!
Never, ever regretted my choice.
So relieved I don't have horrible family burdens or chaos.
If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't change a thing.....
VERY happy 😊
Good to hear
following same footsteps for 48 years, never felt better
49 years alone here.people literally suck my energy out after more than 5 minutes
Keep telling yourself this guys 😅. Cope
@@Robert10075 There's actually people who are much more happier on their own for very long periods of time... small interactions, in between. It's called introversion, yet an introvert's brain doesn't run off dopamine but more dependant by acetylcholine.
No drama, just peace. I love my Boston terriers, my art, my guitar, my cooking, my plants, my bike and nature. I do what I want, when I want, how I want.
Jerk off at night tho
@nathdonplays2782 LOL, nice one 😂
@@zekesanchez1851 we didn't hear a no💀 LOOL
@@lol_youre_mad nobody's gonna say no on that front lol
One can admire the art of tugging the one eyed monster in comparison to say a hooker or a girl that would mostly enjoy using me anyways for financial purposes and rewarding me with sex and an emptiness I didn’t even want with the fusion of our bodies. One could even say a reliable hooker is far more enjoyable than a fake girlfriend that will undoubtedly break my heart because I’m stupid and gullible enough to still be a hopeless romantic.
We’re such a sex obsessed society, I feel that popping one off is far more important than finding the wrong significant other. Kudos to everyone that enjoys a good and healthy tug. 😅
Living alone isn’t an issue. The problem occurs when we assume something is wrong with us.
Growing up I noticed I preferred to be alone. It's not due to trauma it's pure choice. My teachers and school staff would force me and put me in groups. I hated group work I preferred to work alone but everyone around me told me I needed to make friends and that it wasn't normal to isolate myself. After some years I started feeling terrible for not craving social interaction. People also assumed I was mute. I tried but it's not in my nature. Just spending time with family is more than enough for social interaction. With the time I spend alone I usually sketch,paint or do something along those lines. I enjoy comics too. I only enjoy the company of my dog and after some years of been forced to socialize I decided to embrace who I am and not let a group of people make me feel bad for my choices.
yes it is. And there's something wrong with you
There is no problem, there is nothing wrong with us. That's what makes you think.
@@jesusdourado whats wrong with wanting to be alone. I hope your trolling
🥹🥹🥹
Growing up as an abused and neglected child, my happiest times were alone with my doggie. I grew up and tried to be a social being, but I didn't know anything about real bonding. I failed. I finally realized it was not just that most people are very self-centered and motivated by their own wants and needs, but I found that I was not willing to be a scapegoat just to be with people. I am not happy alone, but I am content alone - with my doggie.
What a weird way to live, for some reason I feel alone, although I'm not, but nobody really reaches out to me, I'm 36, I'm not a bad looking guy, but I've been turned down so many times, at least 70 times, I wonder why that happens, if most of the time I just wanna take a lady on a date, I gave up on dating, and friends..! 😢
yeah I had a awful childhood and at 62 I still feel safe when I'm alone
"very self-centered and motivated by their own wants and needs..." and didn't' want to entertain you and accommodate for your baggage? Sure, so selfish of them!
Probably it is just the way you worded it, but feels like while being neglected as a child - you got an idea somebody owes you something. " a scapegoat just to be with people.." So, being less than self-centered on yourself makes you a scapegoat? :D
There is absolutely no logic in your words. Get your head look at.
@@DanielHernandez-ij4gy Stop doing that. Stop asking ladies that reject you on a date. It is you who chose them. Choose different ladies. Choose the ones that are open for a date, to begin with. Don't cry me your river. Go and figure out what it is that makes you choose ones that reject you.
wow - you are the kind of person that I stay far away from now. You must have a government job or live off my tax dollars. @@NGC1433
I often find social interactions exhausting. Most of the time I just end up listening to their rant or they'll vent and I'll just pretend I'm interested but secretly can't wait to get away.
Yes, I'm the same. Most of my life, particularly later life (I'm nearly 64), has been a solitary one, avoiding people. Never married, no children and romances far and few between, I find that most people are emotionally draining. I don't fit into this world...... and I'm living a pretty fine life, quietly.
You could be me! 😃
I'm almost half your half and I wonder if that'll be me because that is me so far. I go out and hang out with friends every now and then but just spending the night out with my friends but at times it seems mentally demanding.
I'm 32, and it looks very likely I'm heading that way too. Cheers!
@@sethnaugle984 As long as you're comfortable with where you are in life is probably the main thing. It took me a long time to feel comfortable that my outlook and approach to life. All the best.
@@ambientalholocaust It's not a bad way to go, as long as you're comfortable with your situation and not worried about what other think or conforming with social norms. All the best.
As an introvert, I'm not anti social, I'm selectivity social. But life has taught me I can only rely on myself. Hey, the sun is alone and it still shines. The "lows" of social interaction pulled down the "highs" of social interaction. I'm better and less hurt being alone. No one can hurt me.
Selectively social 😂 I have to use this
I can be very introverted but I still try to interact as much as possible so that I can stand up for myself in a better presentable way. Even though I hate interacting with new people and I can get awkward if I'm meeting someone new alone.
That's such a wonderful way to put it
I like that, the sun is alone but always shines
@@risefromyourpain Until it "explodes" and destroys everything near it,
Peace is priceless.
Social interactions are draining. I’m fulfilled with myself, hobbies and kitty. 💛
social octrasism is what they do to haters of a group or when you are hated just for being yourself around people that are envious of your mindset on life.
Ever since I decided to quit drinking about 4 months ago, I went out less and less. I realized that the person I became while intoxicated wasn't someone I wanted to be. So I took this time to reevaluate who I am and what my goals really are. It seems to me that the best time of self-discovery is when you close your doors and embrace the silence. Eventually your inner voice becomes more clear.
congratulations on your sobriety. I am a recluse except for my weekly AA meeting where others help me understand alcoholism. one year sober now, my brain recovered! very worth the effort
so true, did it by myself too :D
I hope one day you can re connect
I don't mind solitude at all. I travel alone, dine alone in restaurants, cinema, theater... I've done it all. Over time, however, I've learned, that the memories from the solo experiences are far weaker, then memories created with people I like or love.
The vast amount of time in solitude, has given me plenty of time to self reflect and get to know myself.
Now I will never turn down the company of someone I like or love, but I will (almost) never attend social interaction just to socialize...
Allow me to add a big fat DITTO !!!
Love this comment. So true. I just made one myself saying basically the same things! Solo traveling or going to the restaurant are way better than meaningless moments/company. But experiences with people we love, aligned with our values give so much more!
@lostinature
I've traveled alone many times myself and have gone to plays and restaurants and movies and Disneyland by myself and have enjoyed every minute of it.
Two perks of not being with another are:
1. No one to question my choices.
2. I'm free to interact with strangers if I choose. 😊
Thanks for sharing.
@@eziomarchetti3042
I totally AGREE!
This sounds very right.
The first 6 months of the pandemic were the happiest I’ve had in a long time. The relief from keeping up with social obligations, and the peace of being able to just stay at home, with no guilt or shame was a godsend.
Soooooo truuuuuuuue......
I'm agree. My job, I worked was pretty long hours in heavy equipment industry. I generally only had to engage with a few people a few hours a day for awhile. I was like this is incredible. But did long to see my true loved ones.
its funny--the pandemic was a bit enlightening--i kind of realized that maybe, just maybe; i wasn't the "crazy" one after all. 😎
I found it amusing just how many people became unstable due to experiencing isolation for the first time in their lives
The media became a magnet for empty platitudes of support and comfort
I never received the same support when I was most alone, and it wasn't welcome
The world only cares when it affects the majority
@@urbinblytte429I know alot of people died during the pandemic. But for me mentally it was healing, my ex cheated at the same time. I am glad work day is just like 2 to 3 days in the pandemic. Otherwise I won't survive.
Alone is actually a good thing. No toxic relationship, no useless words and conversations. Also, social with people have similar ideals and goals. Minimize social interaction is good for mental and spirital health like you are meditating during alone without socializing.
I disagree. Personally I need social interaction to do stuff.
Im pretty outgoing and enthousiastic for basically anything. People don’t like me thought so fuck em.
I’ve always been an introvert, when I started going bald as a young man I suddenly saw how differently I was being treated and how society is very shallow. I could see that some people had lost respect for me because I didn’t look like others my age. Everything is just about getting rich, climbing the social ladder, and gossip. I really hate all of that I just want to live a simple peaceful life with a few people that I can really trust.
Yes dont want any of that though i kiddded myself for years i did (helped by drink and substance abuse🤣)
Theres nothing good about Normal life just pure enslavement 😂
Good thing your not trapped in a huge major city.
It's ALL ABOUT making money!!
Truth be told AS SOON AS I make enough money I'm leaving the u.s to a Latin country for better weather and to live in the woods!
Once I started traveling it AMAZED me how poor people on other countries are so happy and welcoming!
I NEVER experienced that in the u.s!
Now my goal is to at least make enough build a house in another country and leave!
Fuck em.
I knew some dudes who started balding before 18. That’s insane to start lacking respect because of that.
Cut it off, lift. You're welcome.
i came home from the military to have no friends, or family. everyone had moved on, passed away, or died in combat. its very difficult to make new friends when you've spent 20 years in the army to get out and have nobody to even talk to. you go from a brotherhood, to friendless. i've accepted loneliness as a way of life at this point. i have been solo with no friends going on 12 years now. people look at you like you're fucking crazy when you try to make friends as a 47-year-old adult. i have completely given up.
I like the way you say this. Can empathise with where you’re at. Instead of the army it’s been a disabling illness. Folks move, die, etc and making decent friends at 67 is like chewing nails. Hang in there buddy 🤞
🍀🙏🏽🍀
@@galway45@Aeternum_Gaming I'm sorry for your feelings of isolation...I can understand it to a degree. I had become very distant from anyone & everyone after depression from a bad breakup compounded into first alcohol, then full-blown drug addiction which lead to many selfish, shameful choices & ultimately separating myself from the pressures & expectations involved with being a part of the human race. I was in fact so surrendered to the idea that I was a lost cause that I wore a wedding ring around my finger to signify my commitment to my addiction...just in case anyone got the idea that I was in any way "on the market". I did this in part to protect others from me, knowing that they were certainly better off keeping thier distance. Honestly, it's crazy to me to think back & talk about this period in my life when I consider where I'm at today.
I went to treatment and it took a few times but I actually fell in love. We now have a daughter and a reasonably happy existence. It's far from perfect and I still fail all the time, but I can say I'm really glad I don't have to do it all alone.
God bless.
Serves u right for killing innocent babies in the middle east in unjustified wars..imagine the loneliness a mother feels because people like u
Thanks for Your service god bless
Remember, whether you like it or you don't like it, but within your body, you are ALWAYS alone.
And being alone is a true Superpower, if you learn to embrace it. 😊😊
Remember, you're a group organism that came out of someone's vagina. Also this is a corporate-backed channel that wants you to blame yourself for things that are overwhelmingly the government's fault and have gotten worse in the last 20 years. He covers literally no other aspects of "philosophy".
.....and so it is.
Unless you've got a split personality disorder!
😮 Thank you
You enter thiis world alone and leave it alone.
There’s nothing wrong with being alone especially in these times…And it’s not a mental illness, but a choice. I feel good being lone, and finding peace with myself.
These days it seems being with people is more of a mental illness than ever.
You are never alone, YOU are with YOU.
This hit home so hard. I prefer to be alone because it’s where I feel most authentic. I don’t have to partake in meaningless conversations and the same matrix scenes. It’s hard to connect deeper with people who are extremely attached to the world. There is more than just this character we play. I want to connect with myself. My soul. I’m never alone if I have my cats anyway. 😊 they’re the best company.
Cats are best. Best friends to the very end. 😺
You said it perfectly.
Perfectly said. Kudos.
... and dogs, for me. I would recommend being alone in nature also. That keeps me sane.
It’s just as hard to find a good friend as it is to find a lady
Being alone takes me away from people's drama and spitefulness. I spent a lifetime, from childhood, being told I'm broken, useless and not part of the world. I grew up as a loner and an outsider and I've used that to my advantage now. The past 10 years has shown us that people are not going to change for the better so I'm keeping out of the way. I still travel, which I love, and go to gigs but on my own. Bliss.
We're you raised as a jw? I feel the same and being alone feels natural to me but I always feel I should be different
@@meganwr1ght101 Sorry, what is a JW?
@@johnmackenzie8559 Jehovahs Witness.
Being taught you’re not part of this world and different
It's been 7 years since I made the choice of being alone, and im doing better than with a family
Can’t relate. Never had much family.
People don’t like that I can be alone.
To be honest it was a choice for me.
I usually explain to others that “I’m a loner by choice, not by force.”
I enjoy being on my own.
Finally I found a video that explains what I’m trynna say.
And to that I say thank you 🙏🏽 💯
I know huh? They get upset, and I wonder why? I don't intrude on their life.
@@MrEric2cu they get upset because they are egotistical,how can u be fine without them hurts them i guess
yep people are always trying to pry into my life....just cuz they all have given up their privacy willingly im supposed to? nope
People are fake, anyway. They lead you on and don't mean what they say.
Being alone and feeling alone is a completely different thing.
I agree, when your "being" alone one's content with just being by themselves, but when you "feel" alone you feel as if your facing it by yourself, with sadness as well as needing a certain connection/relationship.
I'm alone by choice, and I love it because I can manage my time and not have to answer to anybody.
"Reflect upon the Past.
Embrace your Present.
Orchestrate our Futures." --Artemis (DD3)
🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
"Before I start, I must see my end.
Destination known, my mind’s journey now begins.
Upon my chariot, heart and soul’s fate revealed.
In time, all points converge, hope’s strength re-steeled.
But to earn final peace at the universe's endless refrain,
We must see all in nothingness...
Before we start again."
🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
--Diamond Dragons (series)
It's brilliant. I wouldn't swap it for anything.
I'm an introvert, but isolation hasn't always been a choice. Ever since childhood, I was made to feel like an outsider by others around me for no reason at all
Countless times, I've been made to feel like an unwelcome freak by the so-called 'enlightrened' populace
@@SamuelBlack84 that's how society acts towards those that don't fit in their program.
It's a shame that people don't slow down and get to know each other.
@Wolffsrain When they look back on their lives, it will seem to be on fast forward
I turned 62 at the beginning of the Corona Virus pandemic and immediately retired. I had always worked with lots of people and answered many phone calls every day. I was outgoing and enjoyed my co-workers. All my life, though, I had liked extended periods of time alone. Weekends spent in my pajamas were great. As soon as I retired in a tiny town where I knew no one, I felt I had arrived at my best place.
I had plenty of phone calls and internet connection to my family but no one ever knocked on my door. And days and days went by without seeing someone. It was perfect and still is.
Sometimes I wish I had not experienced lockdown, it felt great, I felt free. No fixed wake up time, no stupid small talk, no need to greet anyone, barely need to see anyone... Alas back in the grind
I’ve been a loner with a book since childhood and people have ALWAYS given me grief for it, but solitude is my happy place and I refuse to be bullied into socializing when it doesn’t suit me. Friendly People give me their telephone numbers almost every day, but for some reason I never call and although I occasionally feel guilty for not reaching out, I am happy on my own with my dog for company. People exhaust me with their superficial chatter, but a good book never disappoints. Cheers!
I just have one thing to say to you
My you are adorable 🥰🥰🥰
I am with you I find it very easy to meet/connect with people/ network but when it comes down to it I like that the interactions are in passing because having to invest fully in the relationships means taking away from precious alone time 👀 Time that we can never get back to cultivate ourselves in some way. Most people are very offended by this.
@@juliamichelle6212well said. I just don't feel like investing the time and energy. Not sure if that's being selfish, or as some people say about me, being snobby when I just have nothing really to say in superficial conversations. But I hear you,👍
@@billeagle51 Incredibly ironic that it's seen as snobby to not want to participate in superficial conversations. go figure! To be in this world but not of this world. Many people just want to bitch about their first world problems and need to check themselves. Whaat can we do 🙄
The first thing that women ask is do you have any kids. Then do you have any grandchildren. Then to be polite, you ask them back and then they start...
I would rather have 0 friends than 100 crappy ones.
It’s so fun to be alone . Socialising once a week is good enough
I love nothing more than being alone. When I'm forced to be around people either at work or even running errands, I'm absolutely completely drained. Plus im an introvert so yea. I'm not going out unless I have no choice
Same here. I feel so low when I'm surrounded by crowds
ME TOO.
But wait! When us "hermits" go out in public to do marketing and other errands it is A GREAT OPPORTUNITY to sneak in some much needed SOCIALIZATION.
Choosing to strike up a friendly brief conversation with a stranger can be PLEASANT and FUN.
Give it a try. Be brave for once. It is a safe way to briefly connect with another human being.
It takes courage at first but once you get the hang of it you will be surprised at how much better you feel going home to once again be alone.
You may find out that you are actually quite a charming and chatty person. SURPRISE 😊 !!!
Give it a try...I dare you. ❤
I enjoy being with those people I love and care about, but after spending that social time, I feel scattered and drained. I then scurry back to the other things I enjoy doing alone, which are many. I am never bored. For my entire life, I have always found enjoyable and productive activities to fill my time. Many times, those activities can result in being beneficial to others, as well.
Agreed.
every August I isolate from everything and everyone. It's where the majority of my mental growth happens. Very recommendable in my opinion.
Will give try easier said then done tho for sure.
I find myself regretting going out almost every time I go
Why August ? If i may ask ?
@@delq Probably due to work. Also it's way too hot outside.
@@delq why AUGUST, if you MAY ask ? did you see what you did there ?? 🤣
I think as we grow older, we find solitude in the silence and peace. I'm turning 29 and I reaaaaally left the life where I love gatherings and loud noises. I think I'm fulfilled on what I wanted to do as a dream of mine. Now, I rarely see my friends and when they asked me to meetup, the anxiety starts to click in my head because I really doesn't want to be out with too many people. I love the peaceful life I have in my own home with my family, pets and lover. I no longer want interactions outside of my family and loved ones. I just love taking pictures of nature, taking care of the household, taking care of our pets and even doing things I love doing when I am alone like arts and watching documentaries. Some people criticized when I don't talk in a group but I don't think I need to explain why I wanted to be shut down from their company. Maybe I just wanted to hear my own thoughts and the thoughts of the people who I know are very genuine to me.
I am disabled which is a good way to end up watching people bail on you when they realize you have no choice but to ask for help once in a while. Suddenly everyone is "busy" all the time. Most people are not worth the drama. My dog is worth it.
Alone is a state of being. Being lonely is a state of mind. 🙏🏼🙏🏼
"Reflect upon the Past.
Embrace your Present.
Orchestrate our Futures." --Artemis (DD3)
🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
"Before I start, I must see my end.
Destination known, my mind’s journey now begins.
Upon my chariot, heart and soul’s fate revealed.
In time, all points converge, hope’s strength re-steeled.
But to earn final peace at the universe's endless refrain,
We must see all in nothingness...
Before we start again."
🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
--Diamond Dragons (series)
Being alone after years of constantly being with (toxic) people, allowed me to feel better about myself and helped me stand up for myself even more. You can be far more honest with others and yourself when you don't fear isolation or exclusion.
I've always tried too hard for others' sake and have been far too patient and giving people too many chances.
In the end i've come to the conclusion that i am my own best friend.
Now without the influence of others, there is peace and quiet in my life that at first was hard to deal with but with willpower and time it'll become a comfort, and even a preference.
If people want to enter my life, it is they who will have to prove themselves to me instead of always the other way around. It's done wonders to my self esteem and mental health.
It's not for everybody and i don't recommend it to everyone, but there is always value in learning to be by yourself as you'll have to be alone eventually.
Couple of friends, barely any family, mostly alone in the dark. But happy. Very much so in fact.
😂I don't even have social media. no family, secondary, just 2 children and occasionally my husband, twice a week. Sometimes I feel like their presence changes me for the worse. being ALONE was a PERFECT way in which I found myself.
I have been a social person my whole, but for the last 4 years I've been living mostly alone and got addicted to it. The lack of drama is just so healthy.
Thanks for your honesty. You're telling the silent story of many .
I find that the older I get, the more introverted I become.
Me also.
The older I get the less I can tolerate other people's bull sh××! Rather than becoming annoyed I just keep away😊.
@@joannaedwards6325 I heard that loud and clear, Joanna!
@@rebelandboltman 👌
As a card carrying alcoholic in recovery, I was always taught that social isolation was the worst thing for me and that it would lead to relapse. 6 years sober and I can count friends and those I interact with on one hand. I never feel lonely or that my sobriety is at risk from isolation. It is very possible that one of my main reasons for drinking was to tolerate people for any length of time. 😆 I'm fine if I'm just left the hell alone.☮&❤ y'all.
Good one. Congrats on the staying sober. Love ya.
When I stopped drinking, and stopped using social media like Facebook, and stopped being the first one to reach out to people.... I lost literally ALL my friends . Lol but then I'm like well . Were they ever really friends ? Were they quality people? Answer is no. I'm actually happier and less stressed without fake friends weighing down my life.
Very similar story here. I used to drink in order to pretend to be sociable. After quitting, I've found it much harder to pretend to enjoy social interactions. Frankly, they wear me out.
I've been sober and largely socially isolated for nearly 15 years now. At work, I prefer to be like a fly on the wall; quiet and barely noticeable.
But I try to at least be pleasant to people when I'm forced to interact. Reading Marcus Aurelius has helped me quite a bit in dealing with people.
Maybe I'll have a change of mindset someday, but I don't think so; I enjoy my own company too much.
This resonates!
“An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.”
― Ernest Hemingway
When Covid hit, it was good for those of us who choose solitude to have an “excuse”. It’s nice to hear that other people have similar experience with this alone/social dilemma. Your videos were such a great resource during that isolation time and continue to be today. Thank you.
Eat you're custard tart
I loved lockdown. The air was cleaner too.
I was so excited when we got the lockdown 😂
I stocked up on ice cream and pulled the shades and finally lived my dream life without the shame lol
@@GenX1969 I know exactly what you mean by shame , it is sad though that somebody should feel ashamed for something so simple. I think people who spend time alone are cooler and more intelligent , the crowd blenders are mostly desperate and dependent people (I am one of them maybe but I try hard to cut myself out and not fear my own company )
Agreed. All my exact sentiments expressed in this video and this comment. I felt so normal and kind of happy during the lockdown in fact.
Being alone is the best thing that I have experienced in life. Full of peace, less toxic and lots time to self introspect and fulfill the greater calling in life. Thanks mate that it's possible to be happy while being alone and I decide to self-impose it. Cheers. Subscribed. :)
I don't really fit in with others. I've always felt different and misunderstood. But when I'm alone, I can express myself in creative ways. I enjoy writing, painting, or playing music. These are the moments when I feel happy and free. I don't need anyone else to validate me or my work. I just do it for myself.
You should do a personality test at 16 personalities. Google it. its free....you sound like an INFJ. It might blow your mind. I did it and It explained a lot
When I'm alone, I read books. Funny thing that I like to hear what people say in books, but not in person. Guess I'm weird.
Yeah me too when I am alone I do pen spinning reading books maths or learn something interesting and go for a walk or cycling near trees
That is wonderful. I feel the same way.
I was classed as anti-social by toxic co-workers because I refused to socialize with them. I enjoy my own company and it really is disappointingly nosey to judge me when your own life is sooo toxic and twisted. I wish people would look at themselves and see why they are so awful to be around. BEING ALONE IS GENUINE.
That's true they shouldn't be judging you as long as you're being nice
In my case, I am the toxic one, so the best way for me to be nice to people is to not be around them.
@@CliffSedge-nu5fv Yes but that isnt a good answer is it ! You should work on improving yourself because people have to work with you .. imagine the internal pain you have caused them.
@@Mr-S.C.
No.
Going into isolation 2 years ago was one of the greatest decisions ever self-exploration you get to explore your mind question the universe I've listened to so many lectures such as Rudolf Steiner and you just get a sit around and figure it out not once have I felt any moment of loneliness and I find myself just consistently happy and at peace
I prefer to be in solitude. I'm sure it comes from my childhood and my circumstances. In my teens and 20s I definitely did my share of going out. It wasn't something I did often and always had a small circle of close friends. I've had my share of relationships, but after you deal with the emotions of all of that, you tend to pull inward a little. I live in a rural area. Clear nights the stars are out in full force. I love it. I go to concerts, sporting events, movies, restaurants alone. I get weird looks all the time. People have said to me why are you going alone??? That won't be any fun. To that I have always said, I find it odd that people feel you have to have an acquaintance with you to enjoy any of that. You're not weird. Friends and family can be fake and they won't understand it, but never feel guilty about it.
Being alone isn't as scary as FEELING alone when in a crowd
Omg, that's awesome.
You know am laughing, because Enzelganger is finally opening up about himself. I personally want to see Einzel happy, whichever way he chooses . Then I will follow in his footsteps. Love you Einzel, and everything you post.
Me too. I just told him in my original comment that, after he shared so much personal info, I now love him too. Always respected his intelligence but now I love him. Swoon, sigh, gulp. 😊
I can say this cheerfully 'cause I'm old enough to be his Grandma (Nana in Dutch)😊
Coming from a totally dysfunctional family has made social adaptation one of the most challenging areas of life. I longed so much to be accepted and loved by my family but never really was. That translated into all kinds of problems in my younger life such as trying to work family issues out with coworkers. The torrent of my life is over with and in many ways I am thankful. I value being alone and have never been married and never wanted to be. I have hurt people and I do have some uneasy feelings about that. It seems that for me close relationships never stand the test of time much in part due to my wounded psyche. I spend a lot of time alone and usually don't feel loneliness. I am so tired of the noise and chatter that doesn't mean anything.
Since my early teens I've been in relationships and have lived with girlfriends who were bad choices (on my part). I had to deal with their families as well. One day (literally), I packed up all my stuff and moved out of the house my ex and I purchased from her parents. All the work and money I put into the property (and all the back taxes), I just snapped and walked away from it all.
That all being said, this past year and a half, I've never been more at peace with work and I've been able to save a good amount of money-just by choosing to "drop out and shut in". Although I am pretty much isolated with work and the room I rent-my mind has found so much clarity and my life's plan has been much easier to figure out. I'm 45 now and am planning on staying isolated like this until I retire, then I might look for a casual relationship. Being "Alone" has been absolutely therapeutic for me, all my life I've had to put up with other people in one way or another (not including family). The fact that I can focus and excel at work these days is gold too.
"To Each Their Own"
When I am alone, I feel connected with my true self and God.
"become your best partner and you will never be alone" not having to deal with other people's problems (and having yours solved) improves your life 100%, celibacy and social isolation, They are my flags of freedom
Totally agree
When you learn to stop feeling pitty for yourself, start to value your time and get to do stuff you actually like, it's amazing.
I fell for the "marriage and kids" lie. I miss my time alone.
Kinda wish i had that tho.
I have no more friends, used to have a gf(that went pretty south, if anything i learned that it’s a bad idea to get in a relationship if you re in a bad place especially if the other is too) never had much family. Tbh I don’t know why im still here except curiosity and lack of courage.
I feel like i would have fared better if i hadn’t been lied to about retirement and being able to do whatever i want during my childhood.
And before i hear the « move your lazy ass »
I would if i had a good reason, which i don’t feel like i have
When I was a teen, the sight of seeing peers socializing and me not so much hit me hard. I had an extensional crisis when I was 19. I got over it mostly and learned to accept myself overtime. I know now that it's okay to be a loner and be more choosy with who I want to be with (except my mom 😅)
Being alone is something I value, especially in a world where a significant portion of society has become toxic and filled with hate. It allows me to keep those who are unhappy and unlucky at a distance, preventing their negativity from affecting me.
I would argue that not all people who are unhappy or unlucky would be negative to others just for the sake of it..
Everyone is different and some have more of a moral compass than others do...🤔
I've been unhappy quite alot but I've never felt the need to inflict that misery onto others.
U don't need to feel the need , negatively / misery / depression spreads like the flu in winter, always surround yourself with the right people and your half way there before you get started 😊
In my experience most people are not full of hate, but the more people in a group, the lower the level of thinking.
They talk about soccer, beer and bobs. It's just boring.
😄👍
That's me
To each his own. What makes one person happy and content doesn't necessarily work for anyone else. For that matter what works for a person during one period of their life doesn't always work their entire life either because we grow and change. Be happy with who you are and what makes sense for you at that time in your life. Don't worry if no one else understands or likes it. Most people don't like themselves. You do you and where you find joy. Peace and love to all.
Beautifully said.
It's a .gov shill channel, this one's about how the loss of social capital post-internet is spiritually your fault somehow.
Couldn’t agree more. Thank you for your insight.
AND SO IT IS
Thank you
Sartre got it right - hell is real; hell is other people. Once one realises that these other people, and oneself, are just f*d up egos in their own bubbles of bs, a little interaction is fine; just don't take it seriously.
I have always found happiness being alone. During the past few years, I have been going through a dark night of the soul and am now 100% comfortable being alone, never feeling lonely. I enjoy talking to waiters, cashiers and colleagues, but don't need them specifically to feel happy.
It may be a very healthy choice. My therapist said that I so had a very precious opportunity to live together with myself and thus to know myself.
Besides, Sartre said that if you’re not well when alone, you’re in a bad company…
Cope.
I have always loved that Hank Bukowski quote when asked if he hated people.
"I don't hate them but I just feel better when they're not around." 😀
elaburate@@novarem9828
Sometimes people couldn’t understand the concept of ‘feeling lonely surrounded by people’ so I came up with this analogy: recently I’ve been swimming in the pool, it was hot and my bottle of water was already empty. I thought it’s ok, the pool is cool so I won’t overheat. However, no matter how cool the water in the pool was, it couldn’t save me from thirst and dehydration. I was surrounded by water yet it wasn’t drinkable! The same often happens to me with people. Many people just don’t meet my needs for connection and meaningful interactions. I need ‘befriendable’ people, not the ones who are self-absorbed.
Very nice analogy. As I have learned more about myself I am refocusing to explore more of what I am learning. This isn't in line with what I allowed in my head before so relationships built around those dynamics no longer work for either of us. I feel them slip away like the water dripping from my body as I get out and have a sense of melancholy about them. I will dry.
‘Water, water everywhere, nor any drop to drink’ is the ironic aphorism you’re looking for…
Amazing
Solid analogy
I'am the best when there are no others around..
And I find it most wonderfully peaceful...
I have been living alone by the forest and a wild river for many years and very satisfied. At first I started alone for a few months, but the result is so satisfying that now it is more than a decade that I am alone without my ex-boyfriend and free from my family relationships / loneliness. I celebrate .i love my life style..... In nature you are never alone if you are at peace with yourself ....
This video stirred up a lot of emotions. I have been a hermit for over 16 years now. Previously very social. Tormented everyday by the crippling loneliness. The thing that finally helped me was practicing gratitude. It sounds stupid but it really helps. Focusing on the positives, what i gain being alone, helps me so much to avoid the pitfalls of negative thinking. Self-improvement as well, no matter how small, makes me feel better. I’m now determined to have a good time despite my circumstances and to find the positives in every day, no matter how hard they are to see. Still, every day is a struggle. There is no magic fix. It’s just about slowly changing your perspective and through that, guiding your thinking to a more positive place. It is work. It takes time - and patience with yourself. But it is worth it. Still a hermit here, but a happier one.
Definitely doesn’t sound stupid I try my hardest to do the same
Me too
What a beautiful outlook.
By default, I’m a loner. I do however enjoy social interactions sometimes. But mostly I feel, in our times and our decaying society, solitude is my preferred state. The sheer amount of idiocy, nonsense, gossip, aggression, narcissism, noise, meaninglessness, superficiality, imposed norms, herd-behavior, collective social trends adhering to fallacies, the disappearance of philosophical depth, knowledge, reasoning, the decline in ethical and scientific education, the most absurd societal developments,… all of it I feel is draining my energy and zest for life. The opposite is the case when I’m alone or in “good” company, in nature, and free to dedicate my time to the many things I like to explore and pursue, undisturbed, without distractions and free of social pressures, free of interpersonal drama and incessant uninteresting chatter, small-talk and meaninglessness. …. I crave and miss love and affection, physical touch and intimacy. But I am at peace. And I can find happiness and energy in solitude…. free.
Exactly !!
I'm with you dear one.
Love your comment. Do you have a pet? I have a dog that fulfills a lot of my need for physical touch and affection.
You said it! ❤
You said it best the sheer amount of narcissism in society is shocking the fact that men view women as inferior is devastating the amount of hate thrown in my face everyday shakes me to my core I never knew human beings would be this evil
I think this was the perfect video for me and many others like us. Thank you for all your insights and suggested resources.
"I don't hate them, I just feel better when they're not around." Absolutely perfectly said.
Solitude can be a glorious thing. The hard part is not struggling alone or being sad alone or whatever. The hard part is finding happiness, and not being able to share it with anybody.
This video feels like it was custom made for me. It perfectly described who I am especially the part where you said that "I don't hate people, I just feel better without them."
Yeah but sadly at some point i still wanna share experiences, thoughts and emotions, have someone when i need an ear, a shoulder or two strong hands to help me out. I had my year of isolatiin i remember getting drunk and joining random groups of friends. They got angry mostly cuz i was clingy and they wanted me to go away. Only in some days it worked to be with random strangers and have cool conversations. So that really sucks, that i still need people. But most of people won't put up with me, only reaching out once in a ehile. I rather work or i lose the friend. I hate this so much. Please help me
I feel like I'm at the stage of my life where I'm realising this truth......I actually do feel good without people around me. When they are around I feel emotionally and mentally exhausted
I enjoy being alone due to increased thought quality. I have time to think, study grow, and as you have mentioned I avoid the toxic nature of others. I have realized that everyone is capable of being toxic including myself, less interaction is not always a bad thing 🤓
This is so true!
Loving your honesty 💯
As you said, loneliness can be a way to protect yourself. I used to be quiet open about myself at my early age, easy going, energetic, etc... Let's just said that this "quiet open" turn out to be "too open" with some poeple. Those "some poeple" had a keen eye to spot my vunerability and took advantage of it at my own demise, some even took pride in it.
Long story short, it send me down into a spiral that taugh me how easily you can misplace your love even against a sense of your own rationality, even in yourself...
Life seems to be a story of attachements and limits, symbolise though love but mostly the value that we give to that love thought the limit of our existence.
Thanks for being so open and honest about your struggle with life, I'm in a very similar situation right now, hearing someone speak about the troubles they go trough makes me feel less alone and weird.
For a time in school I had no friends, that is what true loneliness feels like. Being alone on my own feels great.
The choice to be alone is honestly the greatest power I have over my own life.
The feeling when I value me and my solitude over any sort of social situation is one of the greatest feelings ever.
I view it as the highest form of self love and I urge anyone reading this to try it out. Spend some time in solitude as a treat to yourself. See it as going to the spa. You deserve it, some time alone perfectly tailored to your likes.
Solitude is strength.
I feel EXACTLY the same! ❤
Propably one of the best videos of RUclips I've ever seen. Thanks. 🙂
I value this video of yours the most, because it's personal. Being vulnerable in front of others is real bravery! Thank you. ♥
Exactly what’s happening to me right now. Thought I was just depressed (I am), but more than that, I just wanted some time to myself, I can’t be bothered with other people’s bs anymore.
Yep. yep. yep. Right with you on that.... Thx....
This resonates with me in SO many levels, sometimes I suspect we are the same person , and you're actually a voice in my head lmao 😂
I love this comment
Felt the same mate
"Reflect upon the Past.
Embrace your Present.
Orchestrate our Futures." --Artemis (DD3)
🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
"Before I start, I must see my end.
Destination known, my mind’s journey now begins.
Upon my chariot, heart and soul’s fate revealed.
In time, all points converge, hope’s strength re-steeled.
But to earn final peace at the universe's endless refrain,
We must see all in nothingness...
Before we start again."
🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
--Diamond Dragons (series)
i'm in my pre 30yo and i'm experiencing the joy of being alone and enjoy my personal journey. Been watching your channel a while and it's the pleasure to listen to.
I love the "thanks for watching" at the end of every videos.
I absolutely fall under this category and I will try to keep this short. After dealing with numerous toxic relationships once I pushed all the BS aside and started focusing on myself. All of a sudden I'm able to get a good job, then comes the new car, then getting a house all to myself. I have a few people I have known most of my life that I trust with my life. I'm not socially awkward I love socializing with acquaintances and people I'm pretty cool with at work. However there is at least four hours in the day where I like to just be alone and reflect. I did all the crazy stuff in my younger days and it almost cost me everything. Sometimes I do get lonely now that I have something to offer a potential significant other, so that thought comes to mind more often now. Beyond that I do get annoyed with people always asking me if I'm okay, why haven't I found a girlfriend yet, and I need to meet somebody. They are totally baffled by the fact I am legitimately happy.
Thanks for this miraculous and comprehensive look at social isolation. I’m sending this to the people who think I’m becoming demented because I prefer to be alone.
Don't do that. No need to justify your actions
I don’t know your people, but my people won’t bother to watch and if they do, won’t understand. Good luck.
There is no point in explaining urself to people . Sometimes i feel like it too but everyone see things from their own pov .we cant chng it .just be u
"Reflect upon the Past.
Embrace your Present.
Orchestrate our Futures." --Artemis (DD3)
🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
"Before I start, I must see my end.
Destination known, my mind’s journey now begins.
Upon my chariot, heart and soul’s fate revealed.
In time, all points converge, hope’s strength re-steeled.
But to earn final peace at the universe's endless refrain,
We must see all in nothingness...
Before we start again."
🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
--Diamond Dragons (series)
I don’t see it as isolation. I see it as solitude. And I wouldn’t worry about what people think about your lifestyle, the people who truly matter will take the time to understand.
I’ve been spending more than 3 years in solitude, completely independent on my own far away from my hometown. I enjoyed it for real, because through solitude I had chance to discover the inner-work, working on the projects and passions I’ve found during solitude seasons. From my point of view, isolation isn’t that bad, as long as you have something you interested about or the shit to put into the work day in and day out, then isolation is a bless from the universe. To be a loner is to know thyself, to be able to return to the oneness, listen to the voices and find out the reason of one’s existence.
What I want to know are the secrets of the universe. To life and death
Beautifully put. The return to oneness, to reconnect with ones true self and nature. That is what solitude can breed.
Due to a severe illness with which I was diagnosed at age 27 (I am 46 now) I have spent a lot of time alone in my life, simply because of treatments and years of recovery in which I physically wasn't able to go out and socialize. It has taught me to enjoy my own company and to be grateful for the simple things in life such as listening to music or reading a book. Even though I survived my illness and have a very busy and dynamic life now, I can still thoroughly enjoy being by myself and going on long walks alone for example. I also chose deliberately to not cohabitate with my 10+ romantic partner. I love to be able to temporarily isolate myself and just be with my own thoughts or being thoughtless.
I love planning to do social things, the further out the event, the more I wanted to go. But leading up to the event I always want nothing more than to not go. The day of the event is hell for me, my anxiety goes through the roof. Afterwards, I’m glad I went and can’t imagine having skipped the event. Yet, despite it always being fun, I despise the next planned event. I guess I just hate having plans and obligations, they feel so smothering.
This video perfectly describes me and I’m sure a lot of others. What bothers me is that some people really don’t understand wanting to be alone. There are times where I do crave socialization. But it’s not as often and my social battery drains quickly. I have a couple of friends who ask me why I don’t hang out as often or why I don’t talk a lot. When I tell them they say they understand but then ask me the same question all the time, meaning they really don’t understand.
Yes! Actually, I sometimes become too much of a chatter box when I'm occasionally with good friends, and I actually detest that. And I may end up saying or revealing things about my life that I never intended. I enjoy being quieter.
lol
I spent my life believing that I was alone in this regard until my mid-twenties until I discovered the book The Power of Quiet by Susan Cain
For the first time in my life, I didn't feel like a stranger in the world. I was part of a wider community
I often feel lonely, and this is a consequence of having a highly unusual personal history. I really want more social interaction, but I don't fit in. However, this has allowed me to be more open-minded towards people who are superficially different from me. In turn, this has given me a number of strong friendships that I would never have made if I had "fit in." Very much a double-edged sword. Thanks for making this video.
I always liked being alone, but then again now a days I kinda feel bad about it, this video is really helping me out....
"Reflect upon the Past.
Embrace your Present.
Orchestrate our Futures." --Artemis (DD3)
🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
"Before I start, I must see my end.
Destination known, my mind’s journey now begins.
Upon my chariot, heart and soul’s fate revealed.
In time, all points converge, hope’s strength re-steeled.
But to earn final peace at the universe's endless refrain,
We must see all in nothingness...
Before we start again."
🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
--Diamond Dragons (series)
Amazing content my friend. I love "meeting" people that share so many of the same values and thoughts on life as me. Thanks for pouring out your inner self and keeping the balance.
Your meta-cognition is outstanding. It's very extraordinary to be able to see through the layers of oneself with such an open mind and heart and be able to express it with such accuracy.
This video is especially resonating with me as I had a similar journey where I had the honor to get confronted with these exsistential layers as well. It's a conflicted but enlightening journey!
Solitude can be addictive. Ever since covid I’ve been very resistant to seeing people besides my girlfriend who lives with me. This has nothing to do with a concern of sickness.
This weekend I was a best man in my best friends wedding. It was the first time in a while that I had to socialize. When we got home, I collapsed to the floor when I walked through the door with my girlfriend and cat by me. It’s been 1 week and I still feel extremely socially drained from the wedding.
You're lucky to have your girlfriend and cat. I have absolutely no one. I did once have a fiancee, but this cruel and cold world forced me to give her up
After losing her, I have no desire to connect with that same world
I went into isolation in 2020 when covid started,I thrived in isolation my health improved the quality of my life went up.I became so happy I decided to never come back. The only time I deal with people is when I absolutely have too mostly services doctor dentist bank etc that kind of thing .I have a helper that will get groceries for me . I have never been happier
@@shirleyrankin-zf6nv Someone after my own shadowy heart 🖤
The only thing missing is to live in obscene luxury and have access to great physical pleasures
Otherwise, it's just stagnating waiting for death
It’s always a treat seeing a video that makes me go, “Hey, I’m doing that right now too!” Or similar.
Makes me feel like I’m doing something right to better my mental state and being.
Have you noticed this guy never makes an argument that would be to the detriment of any authority? I wonder who the view "everything is my fault" serves most? Is it you? Are you real sure?
@@Jonathan-jp4zz I have no clue what you just started rambling about. But I’m sure it doesn’t relate to me. Or my comment.
@@Suiseisexy What you just said makes no sense to me. Reword it or something please.
welcome to echo chamber
@@kyoshiro4042 What does that mean in this context?
Are people misunderstanding what I said or what’s going on? I’m honestly confused.
This resonates tremendously
So nice to feel connected to someone through shared feelings and beliefs
We are not that isolated and alone after all ❤
I just want to say that you have literally been my inspiration to be better and do better.
The way you describe your own experiences I feel the same way.
Thank you for your channel.
I appreciate you.
I am a loner since ever.
I dont fit into society. It can be VERY VERY hard, painfull and sad. But trying to engage in any type of relationship with "humans" is worse, degrading and always ends bad.
So it is both a choice and a fatality: I didnt choose to have no family, or being poor and homosexual; this three facts can make anyone a lonely person, the people just reject you, cause loneliness and poverty seems to be contagious to them.
So before, I would had give ANYTHING to have a family, friends and a lover, I was desperate, and full of shame of being always alone, especially during week ends and holidays, while seeing normal people around me having fun together.
I thought I was wrong, unlovable and too weird/too poor/etc, wich is somehow true.
I can not change this about me, I ll never be rich, or having a family or be married, I ll never have friends( I have tried 36 years!!).
So I am renouncing, I have learn the lesson: humans are social animals but our society is not humane, and always have created parias, and some people always had hard, lonely existence, so why not me?
It is a sick world, most people are stupid, selfish and dangerous, wich I am not.
I am spending this life by myself, trying to evict sad/guilty thoughts out of my mind, trying to survive anyway in this hell. I am not planning to stay long on earth, I see how society treats elder, poor people without family: garbage.
So I am not gonna endure this.
I hear you. ❤
I hear you too ❤
Be my friend
@@sydneykabiru9352 Ok🤗
@@renacleerican7824 give me your snap or sth
I prefer to be alone because I can think and be myself
Im autistic. I hate being around people. need to live alone. i cant be around other people. cant share living spaces with other people. No wife or GF. Dont care i just want too be left alone!
Thank you for your honesty and transparency about your own personal experiences. I really enjoy your videos. They are often a source of comfort and inspiration in my own life. You bring thought provoking and often complicated topics to a level that I can relate to and often times apply.