I have so much money since breaking up with my ex! It’s crazy! My savings have doubled. He was draining me but swears I never did anything for him. I’m so happy to be free😊
Definitely a money drain. The most unappreciative female I ever met. And would act like buying a $8 salad for me for dinner was the biggest effort or thing to do. And throw it up in my face like well I just bought you dinner smh.
This video is so accurate! I went from being a “supportive gf” to realizing I was being used. The narcissist didn’t work the entire duration of our relationship
For about a year my narc ex-gf didnt work at all. I took her to a job interview when i first came to meet her last dec. She couldnt get a job because she had an arrest record. Which she did tell me about in the beginning. Now she tells me she got one sometime late in nov and now she has a 2nd job she got in the middle of dec 2023. She couldve gotten a job sometime after feb when she found out how to get her record expunged. We lived 1200 miles apart. When i came to see her in april i paid the $25 for the fingerprints. Then she always claimed that she never had $75 to give some paperwork to the sherriffs station. Hmmm but she always had money to buy her wine. Now as of dec30th 2023 i still love her but wish i had never met her. Oh well at least she was smart enough to drop the false assault charges on thanksgiving week that she filed in oct.
" money is no object to me" is what he said on our first date. Later found out he was broke AF and needed my $ more than I did. Lived with his grandmother saying he was helping out BUT she was the one supporting him, damn! They are such opportunists.
I knew a guy that was the same way. Supposedly living with his mom to help her out whole time he’s paying no bills. He forgot the lie he told in the beginning tho bc he down the line started complaining about how she kept wanting rent money. Confessing the whole reason why he didn't have his own place is bc he didn’t want to pay rent. Just like Lee said he would also always be quitting jobs behind nonsense.
@@danishacaseyand a stingy man is worse than a broke one smh sounds like he has a case of both! Much love to you bc baby you can do bad on your own!❤❤❤❤
My narc didnt work the first 8 years of our 11 year marriage. First I closed our joint.checking account. Then I stopped buying groceries. Then I moved in with my daughter. Next, I cut off all the utilities. I also stopped paying the mortgage. Last but not least, I filed for divorce. He found a job.and lived there (my home) for almost 2 years until the divorce papers gave him 2 weeks to get out. Im back in my home. Did a lot of home improvement and bought all new furniture. I didn't want a spec of his DNA left in my house. That was in 2017. Life is good and I'm very happy with my 2 cats!.💯👍🏼👍🏼
@@Indite_Biden you got this keep having faith. Keep being STRONG ! everything is in gods hands.. start focusing on you and watch what happens ✨ good luck 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
I used to brag about being an independent, self sufficient and completely boss girlfriend. And I realize that it only attracts people who want to be taken care of, and it becomes EXHAUSTING. Especially as a naturally soft, nurturing and traditional woman?? Never again. I’m so grateful to finally have a partner who lets me relax in my feminine energy but also help on my own means and I’m not doing it all by myself.
Either you’re feminine or you aren’t. A man shouldn’t be the one to make you ‘relax in your feminine energy’. So basically, you found a simp,who doesn’t demand respect, leadership or discipline, but has a job
My spouse makes six figures and still doesnt want to anything around the house and stingy as can be always talking about he has no money. So i keep my money too!😊
I can’t wait to see this one! My ex-husband couldn’t keep a job and had no money a lot of times. I still fell for his lovebombing when he had no car. During the beginning, he played the victim and blamed his ex-girlfriend/mother of his child for where he was in life. 😅😂🤣I’m so glad I divorced him!
Thank you for this! I do wish more people understood that not all narcissists are the classical, grandiose breadwinner type. Narcissitic bums/leeches absolutely exist. They are some of the most life destroying people I've come across.
There is a professor who did a lecture about NPD and said that people with true NPD struggle with maintaining jobs and income. He believes that the people who are successful in their careers are highly narcissistic but not necessarily NPD. I don’t know what is true but it’s interesting to think of. My ex only wanted to work part time and spend all his money on himself and not his family. Leeched off his parents too .
Clapping for shelter!! Yes!! I thought my ex-husband just fell on hard times. He played the victim. He blamed others for his financial situation. Yes he felt entitled to my money. He stole money from me throughout our marriage. I thought I was being irresponsible and was misplacing money. He gaslit me. I’m so glad I’m not dealing with him anymore.
Same here AND he began hiding my car keys. I had to replace my license twice as he had thrown mine into the dryer hose. Didn't know that until later, when he pointed it out. But how it got past a lint screen...smh. It's been three years since I left him and what a relief!
Refused to work for years and years. Stole my money, stole gifts from my parents, from other relatives, and friends, stole all pix of me, my friends, my animals, my family, stole everything. Divorcing now. PLEASE say many prayers for me, they're trying to take the rest of my money, my car, my dogs, and my home. They want me homeless and on the street.
"They'll blame you for having no time for them." That's exactly what I dealt with. I got married and wanted to quit working so I could focus on my family, including my new bum narcissist. He argued, "But you love your job," insisting that I keep working. But then he'd throw it in my face that I didn't give him the time he wanted - which was often all of it. They stitch you up to fail. They contradict themselves. They run circles of confusion.
This is my narcissist 100% and we had a child and here I am the female and I was paying everything. I get so angry with myself for being such a fool when I know better and I can't believe a man could feel okay with himself being like that
Yep Going through the same. And we have 3 kids. Full time nom and full time breadwinner. How did I get myself into this! His hard times never ended.going on 6 yrs no job and not even trying to get one but lives a very comfortable expense free life ..😑
Wow that is exactly what is happening to me. 2kids and keeps telling the court he is not working for whole 4yrs and claim he is searching for a job but living a luxury life
Narcissistic Financial Abuse can also be running up your credit cards 💳 and refusing to pay them. Also, manipulating you into taking out a loan to help support them. Then when things go south they would say “I had all intentions on paying you back.” #TrueStory
Yep my narc ex-gf said she'd pay me back. Of around 3k i got 1200 total. I told her that it was never about the money. I gave it because i loved her. Now i'll never see 1ct from her. She hadnt worked in a year but now she has 2 jobs.
Yes I co-signed for my ex-husband. He stopped paying when I left him. I even filed a small claim in court. He told the mediator that he shouldn’t have to pay because I “benefited, too”. This was a virtual mediation hearing and I was so mad when he said that! I had to accept that he wouldn’t make any payments on the loan nor pay me back for what I had to pay to keep from ruining my credit any further. They lack empathy and only do what benefits them. Paying back doesn’t serve them.
“Friends” will try this with you as well. Had the lady try to ask me to put a bill in my name for her. She would also always be complaining about money or bills as if she expected me to give/loan her some. She got an eviction notice and basically advised me that her and her kids would be living with me. I told her NO, she miraculously paid the rent. I’m glad I’m strong willed because people most definitely will try you.
This was a triggering episode for me because everything you said was exactly my life. I allowed it, he didn't work for 2 years so he can figure out his own path/employment, and was cheating heavily. I worked 2 jobs and barely slept near the end only to find out he had another life elsewhere. That's why I'm alone until I'M READY AND AWARE next time I date.
@MentalHealness God bless you man. You're appreciated more than you realize. No telling what type of fog I'd still be in without you. I'll continue to support and share this platform for awareness.
Wow you did not deserve that at all. That's okay babe he was a lesson and the next will be a blessing. Your are beautiful inside and out! Keep shining ✨️
“You didn’t have to do that. “ I didn’t ask you for that” OMG SMH the literal slap in the face when showing empathy and being supporting it is actually a script 🤯
Omg. 💯 facts. When I met my ex- narc, he had a good job. Got fired shortly after and asked me "if I still wanted to be with him even without a job?" I felt bad. Sticked around. Months later, he said he couldn't find a job because he was overly qualify for the available jobs at the moment. Ok, shortly after he got kicked out of the room he was renting and begged me to let him moved in to my own placed. All this time, I was working, paying the bills, buying groceries while he was just staying home. My family started seeing that. Try to make me see reality, but he would always always make me feel like I was being a horrible person for trying to put him out. He used to say, " what goes up, always come down, you will be downhill one day too."... Be careful. Once you see the flags, run...run...as far away as possible.
Everything you just said was me and now this is 14 years later with two kids and I gave him the best years of my life I am 42 I just want to run away this is my second marriage He gaslight he thought he still he's did everything under the sun to me now I just want him to go away
@ladyredd6857 You deserve a lot more. You are worth a lot more than you think. It is hard at the beginning, but with time and strength, you start to feel better after you no longer have them in your life. My prayers to your kids and you.
I appreciate you shedding light on the hobosexual epidemic and how it coordinate with narcissist. I left my narc this year and am in the healing process. There are so many aspects that are not talked about like this subject. The financial abuse
This is why setting boundaries, saying no and going no contact once they come with the lies, excuses, manipulation and dustiness to get access to your money, home or other resources.
This really nails the situation of the narcissist falling on hard times and then just choosing to never get back up. It's awful because you're made to feel terrible because you're struggling to financially take care of 2 people with no help from them, the person who's racking up half the bills. It makes it almost impossible to leave because who can afford to move out, to pay the first and last month's rent on a new place when your head isn't even above water? Then they'll call YOU broke when they make less than the minimum amount of effort to get a job and they make you pick up the slack. It's the hard times that never end.
@@CR-oc3vy It's so funny because this exact thing happened to me a couple weeks ago. I was driving us to a local bagel shop when she said, "No one's ever gonna want you after me. You're broke!" All I could do was mutter, "I wonder why..." If I were only taking care of myself or living with a roommate who paid their fair share of the rent, I'd financially be just fine!
This situation happened to my sister. She married her community college professor. He was working part time and quickly proposed to her and then quit his job. He never worked again. That was 30 years ago and they don't have children. Now they are at retirement age and they will have to live off only her social security because he didn't work enough to earn social security. Get out while you can because it never gets any better, it only gets worse.
You are explaining my ex completely. It wasn’t the financial abuse that ended it ($200,000 of my money in less than 2 years). She suddenly had to take in her son (never paid child support before) and blamed me for the son not qualifying for youth welfare because he had a parent and a place to live. The last straw wasn’t the acute abuse, it was when she yelled at me with the ugliest face in an absolute rage “You have absolutely f’d me over, I will NEVER financially recover from this”. Hearing the words of Joe Exotic come out of her mouth was so ridiculous that I broke up with her right there and then.
Facts. Try to drag them up, but they’ll only drag you down. Chuck the butt at you to have a bed, or whatever else. She lived in my house, I paid ALL of the bills. I turned my spare space into a workspace for her. I bought her the tools she needed. I literally named her LLC for her. Again you nailed the checklist, Bink Bink Bink. At the end I was literally looked in the face and told, “I’m only using you for a place to live, I don’t want to reconcile.” 👀 that’s bum shit. Enjoy your parents house. ✌️
My ex literally would say I’m here that’s enough. He moved his self in with me slowly I was young and foolish. I met him at work and I lived close to the job. When I asked him for bill money he said I don’t live here I was just here because I thought you wanted me here😩 it’s been 23 years. We have a 21 year old son. I’ve watch this loser move from woman to woman for shelter. He’s 46 and never had his own place. I heard from my son he was at his mommas house around thanksgiving, guess his latest put him out. Guess who sent me a Merry Christmas text (we not friendly and don’t talk) it’s hilarious because he got by on his looks. he’s older now so I guess he’s trying to circle the block to his ex’s from his youth. I left his hobosexual self on read.
Good for you!💪❤ Screw them. My huz just spent Christmas and New Years in the clink 😂 I couldn't be happier! I wish they would keep him and just go away. 🫢 did I just say that out loud? Lol
@@MentalHealness Thank you for what you do for us, Where were you in 16 when I knew Something was off? Lol I researched and gave benefit of the doubt he had BPD and there was help.
@@jenniferstryker3419 There’s no help for BPD. Watch Dr. Shannon Curry’s testimony about BPD in the Johnny Depp v. Amber Heard trial. It was freaky watching AH do everything Dr. Curry said they do. Throughout the trial she copied both of their outfits the very next day. She must have had a team of stylist out there finding clothes and accessories and altering them all night, and must have been getting up at 4 am for hair and makeup. Crazy freak. In my opinion, of course.
There's an old saying "You teach people how to treat you." You hit the nail on the head when you said "they think their presence is enough." A narc will never be accountable so the key is to develop good boundaries and start to love yourself enough to know you deserve better. Narcs like to have their cake and eat it too. When you threaten to end their party, they can become vicious. (the blame game) I always tell people that when you leave a narc, the work on the self (self esteem) is vitally important because your self esteem gets chipped away by the narc. Great content - you are really raising awareness to help others.
It only took one time to learn this lesson. I do not tell a man about my money ever. Unless he’s my husband I will always pretend to be broke with a man. I dated someone 8 years ago who never had money and always tried to control mine- he lived in my house and drove my car- yes I was that dummy…never again.
You are always on point! I went through this for 7yrs.. he always thought my money was his and he was entitled to everything I accomplished or had without him contributing and was nasty as hell
Yes all that what you just said and he keeps me so upset and overwhelmed between him and my kids and his lying and stealing I don't even have the strength to get up and keep my house up It's like I'm living in a nightmare and I am 42 years old and I was never aware of what a narcissist was coming to find out my mother is one I'm my only child she's terrible I have no support system whatsoever but the Lord himself😢
They fall on those hard times because of their OWN ACTIONS. Mine made it seem like his university messed up his paperwork but after I had already invested time and effort in him, I found out not only did he take out the WORST kind of loans you could ever take out (without ever even finishing the degree program), he literally just ghosted his classes without dropping them properly and then blamed the school for him owing them a balance. It made me feel so bad for him thinking that he really wanted his degree and that it was so unfair the school was making him pay before he could take more classes. Truly felt bad for him and was ready to advocate on his behalf, until more details came out. He never ever saw it as his own actions that got him there and he never admitted it was his own fault. Now he's behind on child support with me and they done added arrears to his monthly payment so I'm sure he's telling his wife that its my fault that he's in financial straits. Nope he was a mess before me. before her. and everything happening is something he brought upon HIMSELF.
Because narcissists have problems (they shop non stop - and don´t care for their money)... They have addiction problems all along. It is not about work (they may have a good and well-paid job but they just can´t deal with money)... But you know it is always someone elses fault. The best with such people is to be independent and the ultimate best is to leave them behind. Because otherwise you sink like the titanic - you will crash sooner or later on a huge ice-mountain.
The narcissist I was involved with was raised to take advantage of government assistance programs. At the time he was on social security. His family didn't work and were on welfare/food stamps. Him and his family also scammed stores doing receipt fraud. Thankfully I got out of the relationship before turning 18. This family had a lot of problems and it was sad.
This hit home so much. Going through a divorce right now with the narc. Supported him, provided all financial support for his business and then blamed me for the downfall because i had “the nerve”to get pregnant…which apparently wasn’t part of the plan. Hasn’t worked in 7years, and again blaming me because I work, and there’s no one to take care of the kids. Now he’s having an affair with one of our kids friend’s mom. ✌🏼 I’m realizing now, he told me the same thing at the end when telling me the story of why he broke up with his ex. She didn’t care for him, didn’t make time, didn’t love him. Now it’s the same story that I apparently did. His narrative now is that I’m a bad mom and bad wife. That’s why he’s having an affair. 🤦🏻♀️
My ex narc leeched off of me financially since the beginning. Always thought I was being a “supportive bf” and I was blind the whole time. She knew I had feelings for her and love her daughter and couldn’t say no to anything she demanded. I was in denial the whole time and eventually I accepted the fact that she was just using me and she never loved me.
This is true one thousand times over….They have the most believable sob stories, everyone turned their backs on them. Or they’re hating on me, they don’t want to see me prosper. What they don’t say is that they bled everyone dry including their Mother. Big Mama lost the house cause of them and many more horrifying things…🙄🙄🙄
Yep. He had me convinced his dad was a jerk. Turns out his dad was actually not so bad. He just expected him to get off the couch and get a job like an adult. When I finally kicked him out his father found out and called me to give me a pep talk and tell me that his son was a loser and he was glad I stood up to him. He also told me that I was a smart, kind, and attractive young woman who needed to find someone who appreciated me and if his son ever bothered me again, to call him and he would make sure to drag his ungrateful a@@ home.
They use your money as if it's their own they take into account your income as if it's a joint income even though you haven't agreed..."our budget does not allow".
These videos help me see that everything my ex did was exactly this. It hurted like heck at one point but now I don’t even want him anymore. Cause he damaged me so much . But I’m sure one day a REAL love will come and I’ll be ready.
I'm scared I don't know if I can do it this relationship have scarred me so bad and this is my second marriage I have two adult children and two children by this narc of 14 years I just want him to leave so I can heal all over again😢
@@ladyredd6857 When your heart gets tired … your heart not your mind….you’ll be ready. That muscle that pump our blood totalllly different from that muscle in our heads… fr. You got this! Not saying you not , but Boss up and he won’t even be what you like no more I guarantee it. A whole different caliber awaits 😎😎💯💯
My narc ex was always broke, quit every job( nothing lasted more than three months in TEN YEARS) was super irresponsible and selfish financially and so much more. Thank you for touching on this because it’s real and not talked about enough!
I’ve dealt with a narcissist that I’ve known for almost 10 years and he’s been through so much. Tried to help so much, but he’s not interested in seeking help for himself, finding work or doing anything to better himself. I had to stop. I’d love to come on your show and talk about my life with Bipolar 1 Disorder. I love this raw discussion about mental health. ❤
Because my ex didn’t have a good paying job and I was making more than him, he found ways to put me down. I never made him feel less than, I didn’t even care he didn’t have that much money cause I believed in him and loved him. I paid for everything and still he was never grateful. I swear he thought saying thank you made him weak. Since he was so insecure with his finances, he made sure to make me feel like shit about my weight knowing it would hurt me, saying I’m a low valued woman. THANK GOD I FINALLY WOKE UP!! Thanks to Lee!! Forever grateful. 😊
This is my exact story for 15 years!!!! Bless you for opening up for people to learn it's not all in their minds..... Bless you, you have a beautiful heart
My narc had ZERO job and was entitled and manipulative as hell and weaponized my feelings. Smh. Sheesh....so much is tying things together now listening to your videos. Truly eye opening for me.
Just getting out of this situation: he got fired right after we met, then decided he wanted a business for himself but of course I had to fund it because I made more money. Basically he took all my money, about 30k in a year and a half. I got a second job and the begging started a couple of days before I got paid, he was priming me for the sob story. Thank God we are in no contract and I'm trying to recover
LOL, Lee! "What's mine is mine (under their breath, "I don't have anything") and what's yours is mine." Also, the ones who have much more than you do (some have stolen & exploited, typically) also think, what's mine is mine and what's yours is mine. I have found this to be one of the most alarming, preposterous, mentally deranged delusions (among many) of the narcissists around me.
Your adult narcissistic children will do this as well. Even if they are living with you and working, they will be short on their bill money and spending most their paycheck on their own interest and ask to borrow if they mismanage their own money. I have seen this pattern with relatives and you can’t get through to these enablers. They will defend their behavior, even when simultaneously complaining about the narc adapt/ child.
Mine was so consistently unemployed 😂 always "im going through something". Never helped with bills when he did work. I taught him about credit. He would buy me stuff he wanted me to have just to say he does the most for me while telling people he pays bills. 7 yrs of it. I've been following your channel for 4-5 yrs. Took me a lot to get out after a lot of trauma, things I've never experienced, good & bad. He definitely loved how i take care of my loved ones but hated it when it wasn't him. Suddenly everybody using me only to realize he was too. He's not a kept man🙄 thinks because he doesn't ask its not manipulation. Just run, ladies. Once you get your footing, just RUN
Omg! You're literally talking about my ex! Sat on his ass watched tv and did nothing, while I worked and supported us. Would go to his in and out of jail/meth-head nieces place and help her w/household chores around her place (bc she needs help at 35y/o?!?), but didn't lift a finger to do anything around our home. Couldn't keep a job, make a bed, clean, cook, do yard work, nothing to help me while I'm working 50hrs+ a week. He didn't grasp the idea that...if I am/was doing everything by myself, then I might as well be by myself. I'm in debt up to my eyeballs bc of my stupidity and denial, but will dig myself out, but would have never if I would have continued to allow that narcissistic bum to live off me. I'm not better, but getting better everyday. Thanks Lee!
55 year old unemployed and i was ok with it cuz I'm successful and he still treated me like crap. All I wanted was his time and couldn't even give that. Later he became scary envious of what I had.
This is crazy what I just heard I just currently went through the same situation. She had no place to go and the only thing she could offer me was her body it is 100% recently she committed a battery against me with a four month old child in her hands and currently serving time in jail. I became a single father, at the age of 44 and I would like to add one more thing after taking care of her and her daughter for six years she did cheat on me twice and blamed it on me. You’re 100% correct this is crazy. This is like my life watching this video. I am so glad she is not in our lives. No more it’s just me and my son now.
Each moment: life gets easier and easier. I love my life. I will no longer be trapped in a fake prison. I am setting myself free, NOW! It hurt, and that's the past. I now live in the present. I am the phoenix rising from the ashes!
So true. My estranged husband would bring our 12 year old & I a couple bags from Walmart. Shampoo, conditioner, toothpaste, TP and old school bars of soap that I never used. Then he’d ask Don’t I take care of you? -he’s totally serious. If he was mad (usually was) he wouldn’t buy our German Shepard any dog food. He even abused our dog. Not to mention I’m losing my childhood home, my new (at the time) Jeep Cherokee non-operable just sitting in my driveway. It hurts me to look at it. What I’ve lost behind a covert narcissistic demon is so much. Only I’ve learned a little at a time and I’m going to be great. I will get back on my feet and create a peaceful l, safe home for my daughter and I. I will always cherish life and after 15 years satan himself couldn’t turn my heart black, and he tried. I know myself so much better after about a year or two in self isolation. I am so much more connected to God. I can honestly say now that I am a child of light my religion is TRUTH. His entire cult (in-laws) couldn’t take me down for good.
Lee you hit it on the nail about broke narcissit men who are bums. I dated a man that was a covert narcissist. He loved Bombed me so fast and moved in with me. I would always ask him about work. Oh you on that again. The truth of the matter is he never had any true intentions of working. I decided to leave the relationship because I felt like a place cardholder and was never going to meet his friends or family. I was sad because indirectly we can kick it and have sex but, you are too silly or not good enough for me. He taught me that I was not the one for him. Now, I am no contact from that person.
You just perfectly described my dad (highly qualified but lost job at 47 and never worked again - now he’s 68), and my ex fiancé who was a barely employed alcoholic who couldn’t hold a job, couldn’t contribute equally or keep even his own bills paid, refused to leave now matter how hard I tried to throw him out, and is now dying from liver disease - and of course it’s “my” fault. So sad there are people like this in the world.
He has hit the nail on the head. What’s yours is mine and what’s mine is mine. I sometimes feel embarrassed when I think about how much I gave my ex and allowed him to be take from me. He even stole from me and manipulated me in blaming one of his family members
Purchased Your Book For My Seven Year Old Son, I Cannot Thank You Enough. I Found Your Channel A Few Months Ago And You've Help Me With Sooooo Much Clarity And Peace...Thank You Again
My ex actually admitted this to me, said he has used MANY MANY women to get want he wants…I think now that he is finally old, and not that good in bed anymore…and divorced THREE times with no savings or retirement plan, he finally rents his own house and makes the women move in with him and empty their accounts and savings buying and paying for shit and when they get sick of it and leave he sucks up to his mommy…it’s horrible! Thanks for these videos, they definitely make my stomach hurt but remind me why I left.
Thanks so much for this, just dealing with finally waking uo and smelling the coffee after 8 years of exhaustion disruption,drama trauma and devastation ,not my finest years but at least im here now. Grateful for all the sane and logical support i can get,thanks again 🙏
Looking forward to this one as well. I believe my oldest son is a narcissist. When hes broke, he calls and is super polite. Then before the week is over hes Mi.I.A. and rude as hell to me. 🤦🏽♀️
Yep, I REALLY started paying closer attention to what the narc said and when. He said he "loves me". That's because he wanted money. I kept telling him I'd see how finances were, knowing full well I was NOT giving him another dime, ever again.Then he got mad and no longer says he loves me. 😂 I finally figured out his using ass!! I win.
It's tough when the child you raised turns out to be one. I swear it's in their DNA. I solely raised my daughter but I'm the farthest thing from that type actually the exact opposite and very empathetic, loving, loyal to a fault. It liked to have killed me when my daughter went thru her change over into narcissism. It happened around 18 yrs old and worsened when her little brother was born. She was so jealous. She is exactly like her absent father who was never around. Strangely enough, his mother and I raised the same type of people. She and I always were on good terms and she confided in me on more than one occasion her disappointment in her son. She gave him nothing but love but completely over spoiled him. Never let him stand on his own two feet and pay for his mistakes, always bailing him out of trouble. Yet I always made my girl pay for her mistakes and never bailed her out of trouble and she still turned out just like her father. Sometimes it's just embedded in them. Coarsing thru their veins to be bad.
Great one.....going to bathroom when the bill is due. Looking into he's purse at registrar...to embarrass you into paying. Saying out loud " oh your also ordering a herbal tea" Constantly slapping he's pockets with a face of victim. I saw it all. Blocked him big time. A real creep
Can't wait to hear this one! My husband thinks and tells people he owns certain fruits 🙄 and his money was off shores...even said Mexican trust accounts and he legally Can't even go in Mexico as found out owes 100k child support from a previous marriage 😮 needless to say I had to buy his clothes shoes etc...meanwhile he's telling people EVERYONE we're rich 🙄 😳 😒 😑 😐 🤔 thankfully SAFELY left him. Now the ugly divorce.
That explains why I was live bombed, a guy wanted me to be his meal ticket, enabler, and he would have been a horrible mistake for me. We went out for a little bit, but he didn't really want to be with me, he just wanted the benefits.
I couldn't believe a narcissist I dealt with for two weeks lost his job and resorted to dog walking, had the nerve to try and talk sh*t and treat me like sh*t...he got discarded fast! Two weeks was too long At least if you have nothing to offer, then treat the woman you are pursuing like a queen. Something is wrong with these guys!! I've met good ones so I know there are many good ones out there. It's just finding one who's not taken.
If he never made you feel bad about it or used your emotions then he ain't a real solid narc but just a parasite. Glad you pulled that through though 🙏
@@annehasenya8678 IT was all emotional abuse games he was playing with me and that's why I had to get rid of him. He was what I believe the covert narcissist type. He even told me stories about different things women tried to do to him--those are big red flags when a man have to tell you about an ex who tried to kill him or run him over with a car, or tried to make him lose his job.
@@aurorarene9909 Sure it's more clear now, you did well by finding your peace. I support your move you go girl 💪 and enjoy that life. When he comes back show him the door he don't deserve you. Thanks for standing up for yourself
@@annehasenya8678I got a hoover one week after I broke Up with him--I gave him no response. And I got a holiday hoover and once again--I gave him no response. I feel better that I was strong enough to walk away because he was someone I knew and dated from HS. we just crossed paths again 30yrs. later and just tried to rekindle things. But, Thank you
This is EXACTLY what my narc was!! OMG! I was waiting for such a video! They'll also keep telling you what you can't do, and never be good enough and only a fool for even trying to make a career when in reality they are the bum and only projecting to destroy you anyway. And they did cheat on their wife and wanted to leave her for me, but I eloped first as soon as I realise what's going on here. This kind of video and channels like yours saved my ****(future) getting destroyed ❤ Edit: I also observed that even though getting a job is not all that hard for such an well qualified narc, but keeping it is hard when they need to follow orders of their superiors or need to follow any suggestions from client. They are just too entitled to listen to any other opinion and they'll just quit in such situations which is mostly within a week of getting the job.
I have seen the saying out there that no one falls in love faster than a narcissist who needs a place to live and that's a sure thing and it took one week transition to discard me and be living with someone else because my resources got low
I am actually experiencing this right now. The oddest part is that he is my ex-boyfriend. I’ve been trying to get him to leave and it’s been one thing after another as to why you can’t First. His truck was broken down and when we got that fixed he got sent home from work because we have a bedbug situation through no fault of our own however, they don’t want him at work while we have an active infestation so he’s home, has been for three weeks with the exception of a few days. I am on disability and have barely enough money to pay rent and bills and this man stays in bed until noon or 1 o’clock, 2 o’clock or sometimes 3 o’clock. And he doesn’t see why I have a problem with that.
Yes! This is the entire perspective of what I went through & have been going through with the narcissistic person I’ve been involved with & have a child with. 🤦🏾♀️. It’s been years! can’t keep a steady job & always on hard times never wanting to stay with his mother or other family members! Discouraging ME. Until I lost everything not having his help.
Wow what an eye opener Incredible My situation Like they play victim of not working Watching you pay all bills Not much help around If someone is being housed by you The appreciation should be enormous But no they play the attitude that they helped you like once years ago , you owe me” My narc lived free Claiming to be unwell Needing much time to relax enjoy hobbies Watch you wear yourself into exhaustion Just insane
Yes!!! I was with one for 2 years!! What a soul tie. I’m so free & happy now it’s over! Lots of time to heal and understand what happened during that time. ❤ god bless you!
My Narc said I’m having trouble at work I’m going to have to resign. I said how are you going to pay your bills ? It was the test to see if I would take care of him. I think he realised he was going to be homeless if he had no job. This was the only thing I didn’t fall for unfortunately
Thank you Lee! You have just validated my experience with my EX-Husband. Never did anything to help me, paid me zero, thought he was too smart to work any job, etc...I only wish he would have discarded ME, I had to pay him to leave in the divorce, LOL!!!
It’s absolutely crazy how accurate you were in comparison to my past marriage and not just most of it but I literally mean every single sentence was spot on!!! 💯💯💯
They seem soooo vulnerable and transparent in the beginning, so you think 🤔 how could I be dealing with a liar?!? It’s like they’re telling me everything up front so surely I can believe them!! Then they’ve got their foot in the door.
I got a good one for you all. My husband use to spend money take me out to eat and then after he would say I need you to send me money I went into overdraft 😭🤦🏻♀️ filed for divorce last week!
You describe my situation of the last 15 years. He was on social welfare, i had a great job as a project accountant and business controller. And he managed to manipulate me by using my empathy against me. He stayed at home on the couch watching sports on tv for more than 13 years. I still can't believe it looking back.
Yep my narc ex-gf stayed at my house for 5 weeks this summer. I hadnt had insurance for years and i got some earlier this year but didnt get it set up yet. I have a bad back and do does she. She stole my pain pills for my back and then denied that she ever did.
Me too mine is so low he keeps ponding my jewelry He even pondered a ring that belongs to my dad grandma like the ultimate disrespect I've had enough I just want to get away but when you married and have kids it's not that simple but God show me the way out
My thing is they don’t want to work, they always want ppl to do for them & it’s so weird, it’s always are you gonna take care of me so I can stop working, and my answer is always a laugh, cus stop playing with me, maybe when I was blinded, but baby now u see!! I will not be fooled, my heart may feel so attached but my mind is unattached & stronger then these emotions will ever be 💯
Thank you for the video Lee! This is exactly what happened to me! The narc played nice until we moved into our house. Then pulled a bait and switch- wanted me to take care of everything AND his kids from a previous marriage while we both worked full time. Pretty sure he cheated. Gave him 3 months to change, and when he didn’t got my ass out of there. Sold the house against his will, and sent him packing. ✌️
Haha “their clapping for shelter” 😂😂had me hollering lol 😂
😂
Hahaha! He's been impotent for 15 year's he's not clapping for shelter nowhere.
😂😂
@@maryw3989 he might take viagra...lol
3:36 THAT almost took me OUT‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
No one falls in love faster than a broke narc.
Sad but true!
😮💨😮💨😂
Tell them again! 💯👏🏾👏🏾
😂😂😂
Yup, no narc more in love than the one looking for a place to live 😂smh
I have so much money since breaking up with my ex! It’s crazy! My savings have doubled. He was draining me but swears I never did anything for him. I’m so happy to be free😊
Same here!
💯💋❤️
He would add “ if you don’t give me money you won’t see me! Unless you don’t miss me
Sometimes they may not have any money but still feel entitled to control the money.
Definitely a money drain. The most unappreciative female I ever met. And would act like buying a $8 salad for me for dinner was the biggest effort or thing to do. And throw it up in my face like well I just bought you dinner smh.
No one falls in love quicker than a homeless narcissist 🤣
And everybody is their soulmate…
Hobo Sexual .. urban dictionary 😵💫
Lmfao😂 yessss had one.
This video is so accurate! I went from being a “supportive gf” to realizing I was being used. The narcissist didn’t work the entire duration of our relationship
Same boat!!! I couldn’t have been more helpful to that MF. 🤦🏼♀️
Same. I was helping my ex-husband a lot! I was coming to the rescue only to realize I was being used.
Unfortunately I can relate. Fortunately I left.
Recently was in the same boat exactly I had enough and kicked him out.. luckily it only took me 6 months to realize
For about a year my narc ex-gf didnt work at all. I took her to a job interview when i first came to meet her last dec. She couldnt get a job because she had an arrest record. Which she did tell me about in the beginning. Now she tells me she got one sometime late in nov and now she has a 2nd job she got in the middle of dec 2023. She couldve gotten a job sometime after feb when she found out how to get her record expunged. We lived 1200 miles apart. When i came to see her in april i paid the $25 for the fingerprints. Then she always claimed that she never had $75 to give some paperwork to the sherriffs station. Hmmm but she always had money to buy her wine. Now as of dec30th 2023 i still love her but wish i had never met her. Oh well at least she was smart enough to drop the false assault charges on thanksgiving week that she filed in oct.
" money is no object to me" is what he said on our first date.
Later found out he was broke AF and needed my $ more than I did. Lived with his grandmother saying he was helping out BUT she was the one supporting him, damn!
They are such opportunists.
My narcissist didn't care about money but was living with his grandparents. Pretty sure they felt sorry for him.
I knew a guy that was the same way. Supposedly living with his mom to help her out whole time he’s paying no bills. He forgot the lie he told in the beginning tho bc he down the line started complaining about how she kept wanting rent money. Confessing the whole reason why he didn't have his own place is bc he didn’t want to pay rent. Just like Lee said he would also always be quitting jobs behind nonsense.
We must have the same man, That happened to me,
3 years off works 13 days and is "burned out" needed a day off.. lazy child .. ughhh can't wait to be out!.
@@danishacaseyand a stingy man is worse than a broke one smh sounds like he has a case of both! Much love to you bc baby you can do bad on your own!❤❤❤❤
My narc didnt work the first 8 years of our 11 year marriage. First I closed our joint.checking account. Then I stopped buying groceries. Then I moved in with my daughter. Next, I cut off all the utilities. I also stopped paying the mortgage. Last but not least, I filed for divorce. He found a job.and lived there (my home) for almost 2 years until the divorce papers gave him 2 weeks to get out. Im back in my home. Did a lot of home improvement and bought all new furniture. I didn't want a spec of his DNA left in my house. That was in 2017. Life is good and I'm very happy with my 2 cats!.💯👍🏼👍🏼
I know. I worked through it all.
I can relate to your situation .
Yeeeessss Sis!! 🎉🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
I love how you moved about when it was time to get out. Perfect
That happy feeling when you got out an toxic relationship with an narcissist!!!
👏🏾
Still waiting for that happy feeling😢
It’s like a huge rock that’s been lifted off your shoulders! You can do bad all by yourself without them!
@@Indite_Biden you got this keep having faith. Keep being STRONG ! everything is in gods hands.. start focusing on you and watch what happens ✨ good luck 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
@@Indite_Bidensame here 🩵 but I know it’s coming
I used to brag about being an independent, self sufficient and completely boss girlfriend. And I realize that it only attracts people who want to be taken care of, and it becomes EXHAUSTING. Especially as a naturally soft, nurturing and traditional woman??
Never again. I’m so grateful to finally have a partner who lets me relax in my feminine energy but also help on my own means and I’m not doing it all by myself.
Same!!!!!
Either you’re feminine or you aren’t. A man shouldn’t be the one to make you ‘relax in your feminine energy’. So basically, you found a simp,who doesn’t demand respect, leadership or discipline, but has a job
I’m happy for you 🥰
That's how I attracted my narcissist
The more I gave the more he resented me for being able to give.
The more we do for them the more they resent us too.
😮💨😮💨😞🥺
Isn’t that a mind f**k with them? It’s silly how they are
This! Absolutely 100 percent true and relatable. Well said.
Straight up! I said the same thing! He hated me for being me.
In my experience, a narcissistic person will do whatever it takes to get money. No holds barred. No scruples, morals or legality.
some defnitely will
Having no money or nothing to offer doesn't mean he doesn't have a job it just means he's stingy and selfish
possibly
My spouse makes six figures and still doesnt want to anything around the house and stingy as can be always talking about he has no money. So i keep my money too!😊
Exactly a lowlife and a scumbag
@@tgreen1862Did you say spouse?Whaaaaat?😢
@movingsaudade6028 Yes. Do you know what that means, right?
I can’t wait to see this one! My ex-husband couldn’t keep a job and had no money a lot of times. I still fell for his lovebombing when he had no car. During the beginning, he played the victim and blamed his ex-girlfriend/mother of his child for where he was in life. 😅😂🤣I’m so glad I divorced him!
😅😅😂
My husband could keep a job. But struggled paying bills
@@pamelahooper-tr7si wow!!
Same here, always skint, massive bills on credit cards, always blaming others for his misfortune.. Drama after drama.. 😅So glad its over.
Me too!
Thank you for this! I do wish more people understood that not all narcissists are the classical, grandiose breadwinner type.
Narcissitic bums/leeches absolutely exist.
They are some of the most life destroying people I've come across.
It can be tough
I have one! I totally understand
There is a professor who did a lecture about NPD and said that people with true NPD struggle with maintaining jobs and income. He believes that the people who are successful in their careers are highly narcissistic but not necessarily NPD. I don’t know what is true but it’s interesting to think of. My ex only wanted to work part time and spend all his money on himself and not his family. Leeched off his parents too .
Sounds like my narc raging alcoholic ex-gf. Sat on her butt and either cook meals for her neighbors or victims with food from the food banks.
Those were the ones I had yet they were still very grandiose.
Clapping for shelter!! Yes!! I thought my ex-husband just fell on hard times. He played the victim. He blamed others for his financial situation. Yes he felt entitled to my money. He stole money from me throughout our marriage. I thought I was being irresponsible and was misplacing money. He gaslit me. I’m so glad I’m not dealing with him anymore.
congrats on getting out of that
Same here AND he began hiding my car keys. I had to replace my license twice as he had thrown mine into the dryer hose. Didn't know that until later, when he pointed it out. But how it got past a lint screen...smh. It's been three years since I left him and what a relief!
Me too, just happened today and last week@@
Refused to work for years and years. Stole my money, stole gifts from my parents, from other relatives, and friends, stole all pix of me, my friends, my animals, my family, stole everything. Divorcing now. PLEASE say many prayers for me, they're trying to take the rest of my money, my car, my dogs, and my home. They want me homeless and on the street.
Soon to be X wife has done all this to me.
"They'll blame you for having no time for them."
That's exactly what I dealt with. I got married and wanted to quit working so I could focus on my family, including my new bum narcissist.
He argued, "But you love your job," insisting that I keep working. But then he'd throw it in my face that I didn't give him the time he wanted - which was often all of it.
They stitch you up to fail.
They contradict themselves.
They run circles of confusion.
And they'll gasllight you that it's all your fault.
Bishop RC Blakes says confusion is demonic. If a man loves you, he makes things clear.
@@genxx2724 ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Love RC Blake’s channel
With the narc gone, I no longer have to hit the food pantries in my area! Get rid of the curse in your life and prosper. Thank you, Jesus 🙌
🙏🏽🙏🏽
This is my narcissist 100% and we had a child and here I am the female and I was paying everything. I get so angry with myself for being such a fool when I know better and I can't believe a man could feel okay with himself being like that
Yep
Going through the same. And we have 3 kids. Full time nom and full time breadwinner. How did I get myself into this! His hard times never ended.going on 6 yrs no job and not even trying to get one but lives a very comfortable expense free life ..😑
Wow that is exactly what is happening to me. 2kids and keeps telling the court he is not working for whole 4yrs and claim he is searching for a job but living a luxury life
i cant believe a woman will be okay having a baby by a man who lets her use her
Same here thing is when I kicked him out I was so happy doing it for myself and only for my child he was such a burden
@@vanessabaasha1336you have 4 children he is the one too
Narcissistic Financial Abuse can also be running up your credit cards 💳 and refusing to pay them. Also, manipulating you into taking out a loan to help support them. Then when things go south they would say “I had all intentions on paying you back.”
#TrueStory
Exactly. It's not always the person with the dough who is financially abusive.
Yep my narc ex-gf said she'd pay me back. Of around 3k i got 1200 total. I told her that it was never about the money. I gave it because i loved her. Now i'll never see 1ct from her. She hadnt worked in a year but now she has 2 jobs.
Yes I co-signed for my ex-husband. He stopped paying when I left him. I even filed a small claim in court. He told the mediator that he shouldn’t have to pay because I “benefited, too”. This was a virtual mediation hearing and I was so mad when he said that! I had to accept that he wouldn’t make any payments on the loan nor pay me back for what I had to pay to keep from ruining my credit any further. They lack empathy and only do what benefits them. Paying back doesn’t serve them.
“Friends” will try this with you as well. Had the lady try to ask me to put a bill in my name for her. She would also always be complaining about money or bills as if she expected me to give/loan her some. She got an eviction notice and basically advised me that her and her kids would be living with me. I told her NO, she miraculously paid the rent. I’m glad I’m strong willed because people most definitely will try you.
@@MovingAlong531 I had a “friend” or two like that, too. Glad I’m no longer dealing with them.
This was a triggering episode for me because everything you said was exactly my life. I allowed it, he didn't work for 2 years so he can figure out his own path/employment, and was cheating heavily. I worked 2 jobs and barely slept near the end only to find out he had another life elsewhere. That's why I'm alone until I'M READY AND AWARE next time I date.
Stay strong and Protect yourself
@MentalHealness God bless you man. You're appreciated more than you realize. No telling what type of fog I'd still be in without you. I'll continue to support and share this platform for awareness.
@@lexi26stlsimilar situation! You end up being a servant in these narcissistic relationships while they get to do whatever they want.
@nicolebeard6051 yes indeed! And the insecurities that follow are a nightmare. Taking your power back is the absolute best thing that ANYONE can do.
Wow you did not deserve that at all. That's okay babe he was a lesson and the next will be a blessing. Your are beautiful inside and out! Keep shining ✨️
“You didn’t have to do that. “ I didn’t ask you for that” OMG SMH the literal slap in the face when showing empathy and being supporting it is actually a script 🤯
THIS! Those EXACT words! The very exact words my ex-boyfriend said to me.
same words as my ex gf, are they one person??
Omg. 💯 facts. When I met my ex- narc, he had a good job. Got fired shortly after and asked me "if I still wanted to be with him even without a job?" I felt bad. Sticked around. Months later, he said he couldn't find a job because he was overly qualify for the available jobs at the moment. Ok, shortly after he got kicked out of the room he was renting and begged me to let him moved in to my own placed. All this time, I was working, paying the bills, buying groceries while he was just staying home. My family started seeing that. Try to make me see reality, but he would always always make me feel like I was being a horrible person for trying to put him out. He used to say, " what goes up, always come down, you will be downhill one day too."... Be careful. Once you see the flags, run...run...as far away as possible.
Omg I am going through this right now.
The “over qualified” is crazy I swear they all say the same shit
Everything you just said was me and now this is 14 years later with two kids and I gave him the best years of my life I am 42 I just want to run away this is my second marriage He gaslight he thought he still he's did everything under the sun to me now I just want him to go away
@ladyredd6857
You deserve a lot more. You are worth a lot more than you think. It is hard at the beginning, but with time and strength, you start to feel better after you no longer have them in your life. My prayers to your kids and you.
No one falls in love faster than a narcissist who has nowhere to live
I appreciate you shedding light on the hobosexual epidemic and how it coordinate with narcissist. I left my narc this year and am in the healing process. There are so many aspects that are not talked about like this subject. The financial abuse
💯
Hobosexual!!! That’s beyond accurate!!! 😂
Y’all way too easy to lie to that’s the problem
Yes this shit is real man, I appreciate you Lee
This is why setting boundaries, saying no and going no contact once they come with the lies, excuses, manipulation and dustiness to get access to your money, home or other resources.
They only do things when it benefits them.
🎯
💯
This really nails the situation of the narcissist falling on hard times and then just choosing to never get back up. It's awful because you're made to feel terrible because you're struggling to financially take care of 2 people with no help from them, the person who's racking up half the bills. It makes it almost impossible to leave because who can afford to move out, to pay the first and last month's rent on a new place when your head isn't even above water?
Then they'll call YOU broke when they make less than the minimum amount of effort to get a job and they make you pick up the slack. It's the hard times that never end.
Exactly. How do you keep mentioning how broke I am when I take care of you?
@@CR-oc3vy It's so funny because this exact thing happened to me a couple weeks ago. I was driving us to a local bagel shop when she said, "No one's ever gonna want you after me. You're broke!"
All I could do was mutter, "I wonder why..."
If I were only taking care of myself or living with a roommate who paid their fair share of the rent, I'd financially be just fine!
This situation happened to my sister. She married her community college professor. He was working part time and quickly proposed to her and then quit his job. He never worked again. That was 30 years ago and they don't have children. Now they are at retirement age and they will have to live off only her social security because he didn't work enough to earn social security. Get out while you can because it never gets any better, it only gets worse.
😫😫
You are explaining my ex completely. It wasn’t the financial abuse that ended it ($200,000 of my money in less than 2 years). She suddenly had to take in her son (never paid child support before) and blamed me for the son not qualifying for youth welfare because he had a parent and a place to live. The last straw wasn’t the acute abuse, it was when she yelled at me with the ugliest face in an absolute rage “You have absolutely f’d me over, I will NEVER financially recover from this”. Hearing the words of Joe Exotic come out of her mouth was so ridiculous that I broke up with her right there and then.
When I left him every headache I had went too and whoever he was cheating with inherited every last Burden I had I’m so happy for this!
Facts. Try to drag them up, but they’ll only drag you down. Chuck the butt at you to have a bed, or whatever else. She lived in my house, I paid ALL of the bills. I turned my spare space into a workspace for her. I bought her the tools she needed. I literally named her LLC for her. Again you nailed the checklist, Bink Bink Bink. At the end I was literally looked in the face and told, “I’m only using you for a place to live, I don’t want to reconcile.” 👀 that’s bum shit. Enjoy your parents house. ✌️
Parents are sayin' NO WAY!
My ex literally would say I’m here that’s enough. He moved his self in with me slowly I was young and foolish. I met him at work and I lived close to the job. When I asked him for bill money he said I don’t live here I was just here because I thought you wanted me here😩 it’s been 23 years. We have a 21 year old son. I’ve watch this loser move from woman to woman for shelter. He’s 46 and never had his own place. I heard from my son he was at his mommas house around thanksgiving, guess his latest put him out. Guess who sent me a Merry Christmas text (we not friendly and don’t talk) it’s hilarious because he got by on his looks. he’s older now so I guess he’s trying to circle the block to his ex’s from his youth. I left his hobosexual self on read.
🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
Good for you!💪❤
Screw them.
My huz just spent Christmas and New Years in the clink 😂
I couldn't be happier!
I wish they would keep him and just go away.
🫢 did I just say that out loud? Lol
@@MentalHealness
Thank you for what you do for us,
Where were you in 16 when I knew Something was off? Lol
I researched and gave benefit of the doubt he had BPD and there was help.
@@jenniferstryker3419 There’s no help for BPD. Watch Dr. Shannon Curry’s testimony about BPD in the Johnny Depp v. Amber Heard trial. It was freaky watching AH do everything Dr. Curry said they do. Throughout the trial she copied both of their outfits the very next day. She must have had a team of stylist out there finding clothes and accessories and altering them all night, and must have been getting up at 4 am for hair and makeup. Crazy freak. In my opinion, of course.
He got you already for 23 years what’s yo point
There's an old saying "You teach people how to treat you." You hit the nail on the head when you said "they think their presence is enough." A narc will never be accountable so the key is to develop good boundaries and start to love yourself enough to know you deserve better. Narcs like to have their cake and eat it too. When you threaten to end their party, they can become vicious. (the blame game) I always tell people that when you leave a narc, the work on the self (self esteem) is vitally important because your self esteem gets chipped away by the narc. Great content - you are really raising awareness to help others.
‼️‼️
Exactly! One day you look up and you’re doing everything, too busy to enjoy life and you’re paying most of the bills! 😒
😮😞
It only took one time to learn this lesson. I do not tell a man about my money ever. Unless he’s my husband I will always pretend to be broke with a man. I dated someone 8 years ago who never had money and always tried to control mine- he lived in my house and drove my car- yes I was that dummy…never again.
🙌🏾
ME TOO HONEY 🍯
BEEN THERE DONE THAT
NEVER EVER AGAIN
THAT'S WHY I'M SINGLE 💯 % WITH MY DOG 🐕 BETTER NOW 🎉❤
“What’s yours is mine. What’s mine is mine.” 😂😅. I love that you just say it!
😅😅😅
You are always on point! I went through this for 7yrs.. he always thought my money was his and he was entitled to everything I accomplished or had without him contributing and was nasty as hell
💪🏽💪🏽
Yes all that what you just said and he keeps me so upset and overwhelmed between him and my kids and his lying and stealing I don't even have the strength to get up and keep my house up It's like I'm living in a nightmare and I am 42 years old and I was never aware of what a narcissist was coming to find out my mother is one I'm my only child she's terrible I have no support system whatsoever but the Lord himself😢
They fall on those hard times because of their OWN ACTIONS. Mine made it seem like his university messed up his paperwork but after I had already invested time and effort in him, I found out not only did he take out the WORST kind of loans you could ever take out (without ever even finishing the degree program), he literally just ghosted his classes without dropping them properly and then blamed the school for him owing them a balance. It made me feel so bad for him thinking that he really wanted his degree and that it was so unfair the school was making him pay before he could take more classes. Truly felt bad for him and was ready to advocate on his behalf, until more details came out. He never ever saw it as his own actions that got him there and he never admitted it was his own fault. Now he's behind on child support with me and they done added arrears to his monthly payment so I'm sure he's telling his wife that its my fault that he's in financial straits. Nope he was a mess before me. before her. and everything happening is something he brought upon HIMSELF.
Because narcissists have problems (they shop non stop - and don´t care for their money)... They have addiction problems all along. It is not about work (they may have a good and well-paid job but they just can´t deal with money)... But you know it is always someone elses fault. The best with such people is to be independent and the ultimate best is to leave them behind. Because otherwise you sink like the titanic - you will crash sooner or later on a huge ice-mountain.
😫😫😫
The narcissist I was involved with was raised to take advantage of government assistance programs. At the time he was on social security. His family didn't work and were on welfare/food stamps. Him and his family also scammed stores doing receipt fraud. Thankfully I got out of the relationship before turning 18. This family had a lot of problems and it was sad.
This hit home so much. Going through a divorce right now with the narc. Supported him, provided all financial support for his business and then blamed me for the downfall because i had “the nerve”to get pregnant…which apparently wasn’t part of the plan. Hasn’t worked in 7years, and again blaming me because I work, and there’s no one to take care of the kids. Now he’s having an affair with one of our kids friend’s mom. ✌🏼
I’m realizing now, he told me the same thing at the end when telling me the story of why he broke up with his ex. She didn’t care for him, didn’t make time, didn’t love him. Now it’s the same story that I apparently did. His narrative now is that I’m a bad mom and bad wife. That’s why he’s having an affair. 🤦🏻♀️
I feel you.❤
Soon as a man gets to bad talking his ex or blaming her I run lol
My ex narc leeched off of me financially since the beginning. Always thought I was being a “supportive bf” and I was blind the whole time. She knew I had feelings for her and love her daughter and couldn’t say no to anything she demanded. I was in denial the whole time and eventually I accepted the fact that she was just using me and she never loved me.
This is true one thousand times over….They have the most believable sob stories, everyone turned their backs on them. Or they’re hating on me, they don’t want to see me prosper. What they don’t say is that they bled everyone dry including their Mother. Big Mama lost the house cause of them and many more horrifying things…🙄🙄🙄
Yep. He had me convinced his dad was a jerk. Turns out his dad was actually not so bad. He just expected him to get off the couch and get a job like an adult. When I finally kicked him out his father found out and called me to give me a pep talk and tell me that his son was a loser and he was glad I stood up to him. He also told me that I was a smart, kind, and attractive young woman who needed to find someone who appreciated me and if his son ever bothered me again, to call him and he would make sure to drag his ungrateful a@@ home.
They use your money as if it's their own they take into account your income as if it's a joint income even though you haven't agreed..."our budget does not allow".
💯💯
so true!!!!
These videos help me see that everything my ex did was exactly this. It hurted like heck at one point but now I don’t even want him anymore. Cause he damaged me so much . But I’m sure one day a REAL love will come and I’ll be ready.
I'm scared I don't know if I can do it this relationship have scarred me so bad and this is my second marriage I have two adult children and two children by this narc of 14 years I just want him to leave so I can heal all over again😢
@@ladyredd6857 When your heart gets tired … your heart not your mind….you’ll be ready. That muscle that pump our blood totalllly different from that muscle in our heads… fr. You got this! Not saying you not , but Boss up and he won’t even be what you like no more I guarantee it. A whole different caliber awaits 😎😎💯💯
My narc ex was always broke, quit every job( nothing lasted more than three months in TEN YEARS) was super irresponsible and selfish financially and so much more. Thank you for touching on this because it’s real and not talked about enough!
you’re welcome
I left my ex over thirty years ago. According to his sister, he STILL has never kept a job longer than three months.
I’m so happy my daughter and I are out of this mess for almost 3 years now
💯 🙏
Yes sir, please keep spreading the word to the masses. You articulated this perfectly. Hold us accountable to stay away from dusty narcs...
i appreciate it
I’ve dealt with a narcissist that I’ve known for almost 10 years and he’s been through so much. Tried to help so much, but he’s not interested in seeking help for himself, finding work or doing anything to better himself. I had to stop. I’d love to come on your show and talk about my life with Bipolar 1 Disorder. I love this raw discussion about mental health. ❤
♥️♥️ Happy Healing
Because my ex didn’t have a good paying job and I was making more than him, he found ways to put me down. I never made him feel less than, I didn’t even care he didn’t have that much money cause I believed in him and loved him. I paid for everything and still he was never grateful. I swear he thought saying thank you made him weak. Since he was so insecure with his finances, he made sure to make me feel like shit about my weight knowing it would hurt me, saying I’m a low valued woman. THANK GOD I FINALLY WOKE UP!! Thanks to Lee!! Forever grateful. 😊
You just explained my situation word for word plus I helped him find jobs and still he was ungrateful and cheated an left.
stay strong on your journey
Overweight can be due to running yourself ragged and not taking care of yourself.
This is my exact story for 15 years!!!! Bless you for opening up for people to learn it's not all in their minds..... Bless you, you have a beautiful heart
‼️‼️
My ex narc had a apartment when I got with him all of sudden ...he was late and all of sudden get kicked out. You nailed it Lee! Truth!!
They always get laid off or evicted shortly after meeting you because they lied about it all.
Mine totally moved in immediately and I always had a feeling he was living out of his car before that.
oh wow
My narc had ZERO job and was entitled and manipulative as hell and weaponized my feelings. Smh. Sheesh....so much is tying things together now listening to your videos. Truly eye opening for me.
Just getting out of this situation: he got fired right after we met, then decided he wanted a business for himself but of course I had to fund it because I made more money. Basically he took all my money, about 30k in a year and a half. I got a second job and the begging started a couple of days before I got paid, he was priming me for the sob story. Thank God we are in no contract and I'm trying to recover
Dealing with a broke narcissist is draining
💯💯🎯
LOL, Lee! "What's mine is mine (under their breath, "I don't have anything") and what's yours is mine." Also, the ones who have much more than you do (some have stolen & exploited, typically) also think, what's mine is mine and what's yours is mine. I have found this to be one of the most alarming, preposterous, mentally deranged delusions (among many) of the narcissists around me.
Your adult narcissistic children will do this as well. Even if they are living with you and working, they will be short on their bill money and spending most their paycheck on their own interest and ask to borrow if they mismanage their own money. I have seen this pattern with relatives and you can’t get through to these enablers. They will defend their behavior, even when simultaneously complaining about the narc adapt/ child.
Mine was so consistently unemployed 😂 always "im going through something". Never helped with bills when he did work. I taught him about credit. He would buy me stuff he wanted me to have just to say he does the most for me while telling people he pays bills. 7 yrs of it. I've been following your channel for 4-5 yrs. Took me a lot to get out after a lot of trauma, things I've never experienced, good & bad. He definitely loved how i take care of my loved ones but hated it when it wasn't him. Suddenly everybody using me only to realize he was too. He's not a kept man🙄 thinks because he doesn't ask its not manipulation. Just run, ladies. Once you get your footing, just RUN
Omg! You're literally talking about my ex! Sat on his ass watched tv and did nothing, while I worked and supported us. Would go to his in and out of jail/meth-head nieces place and help her w/household chores around her place (bc she needs help at 35y/o?!?), but didn't lift a finger to do anything around our home. Couldn't keep a job, make a bed, clean, cook, do yard work, nothing to help me while I'm working 50hrs+ a week. He didn't grasp the idea that...if I am/was doing everything by myself, then I might as well be by myself. I'm in debt up to my eyeballs bc of my stupidity and denial, but will dig myself out, but would have never if I would have continued to allow that narcissistic bum to live off me. I'm not better, but getting better everyday. Thanks Lee!
🙏🏽🙏🏽🙌🏾
55 year old unemployed and i was ok with it cuz I'm successful and he still treated me like crap. All I wanted was his time and couldn't even give that. Later he became scary envious of what I had.
This is crazy what I just heard I just currently went through the same situation.
She had no place to go and the only thing she could offer me was her body it is 100% recently she committed a battery against me with a four month old child in her hands and currently serving time in jail. I became a single father, at the age of 44 and I would like to add one more thing after taking care of her and her daughter for six years she did cheat on me twice and blamed it on me. You’re 100% correct this is crazy. This is like my life watching this video. I am so glad she is not in our lives. No more it’s just me and my son now.
Each moment:
life gets easier and easier.
I love my life.
I will no longer be trapped
in a fake prison.
I am setting myself free, NOW!
It hurt, and that's the past.
I now live in the present.
I am the phoenix
rising from the ashes!
💯💯
So true. My estranged husband would bring our 12 year old & I a couple bags from Walmart. Shampoo, conditioner, toothpaste, TP and old school bars of soap that I never used. Then he’d ask Don’t I take care of you? -he’s totally serious. If he was mad (usually was) he wouldn’t buy our German Shepard any dog food. He even abused our dog. Not to mention I’m losing my childhood home, my new (at the time) Jeep Cherokee non-operable just sitting in my driveway. It hurts me to look at it. What I’ve lost behind a covert narcissistic demon is so much. Only I’ve learned a little at a time and I’m going to be great. I will get back on my feet and create a peaceful l, safe home for my daughter and I. I will always cherish life and after 15 years satan himself couldn’t turn my heart black, and he tried. I know myself so much better after about a year or two in self isolation. I am so much more connected to God. I can honestly say now that I am a child of light my religion is TRUTH. His entire cult (in-laws) couldn’t take me down for good.
You go angela
GLORY!!!!!!!😢😢😢👍🏽👏🏾now….. KEEP GOING!
Lee you hit it on the nail about broke narcissit men who are bums. I dated a man that was a covert narcissist. He loved Bombed me so fast and moved in with me. I would always ask him about work. Oh you on that again. The truth of the matter is he never had any true intentions of working. I decided to leave the relationship because I felt like a place cardholder and was never going to meet his friends or family. I was sad because indirectly we can kick it and have sex but, you are too silly or not good enough for me. He taught me that I was not the one for him. Now, I am no contact from that person.
I went though the same thing it’s sad
You just perfectly described my dad (highly qualified but lost job at 47 and never worked again - now he’s 68), and my ex fiancé who was a barely employed alcoholic who couldn’t hold a job, couldn’t contribute equally or keep even his own bills paid, refused to leave now matter how hard I tried to throw him out, and is now dying from liver disease - and of course it’s “my” fault. So sad there are people like this in the world.
🥺🥺
I had one crazy one break into my house when I was away. He threatened me with court not knowing I own the home.
He has hit the nail on the head. What’s yours is mine and what’s mine is mine. I sometimes feel embarrassed when I think about how much I gave my ex and allowed him to be take from me. He even stole from me and manipulated me in blaming one of his family members
Purchased Your Book For My Seven Year Old Son, I Cannot Thank You Enough. I Found Your Channel A Few Months Ago And You've Help Me With Sooooo Much Clarity And Peace...Thank You Again
Wow, thank you!
My ex actually admitted this to me, said he has used MANY MANY women to get want he wants…I think now that he is finally old, and not that good in bed anymore…and divorced THREE times with no savings or retirement plan, he finally rents his own house and makes the women move in with him and empty their accounts and savings buying and paying for shit and when they get sick of it and leave he sucks up to his mommy…it’s horrible! Thanks for these videos, they definitely make my stomach hurt but remind me why I left.
Thanks so much for this, just dealing with finally waking uo and smelling the coffee after 8 years of exhaustion disruption,drama trauma and devastation ,not my finest years but at least im here now. Grateful for all the sane and logical support i can get,thanks again 🙏
Clapping for shelter is wild bro!! 😂😂
Looking forward to this one as well. I believe my oldest son is a narcissist. When hes broke, he calls and is super polite. Then before the week is over hes Mi.I.A. and rude as hell to me. 🤦🏽♀️
😫
Yep, I REALLY started paying closer attention to what the narc said and when. He said he "loves me". That's because he wanted money. I kept telling him I'd see how finances were, knowing full well I was NOT giving him another dime, ever again.Then he got mad and no longer says he loves me. 😂 I finally figured out his using ass!! I win.
And i'm really sorry that you have to deal with your son's behavior. 😢
It's tough when the child you raised turns out to be one. I swear it's in their DNA. I solely raised my daughter but I'm the farthest thing from that type actually the exact opposite and very empathetic, loving, loyal to a fault. It liked to have killed me when my daughter went thru her change over into narcissism. It happened around 18 yrs old and worsened when her little brother was born. She was so jealous. She is exactly like her absent father who was never around. Strangely enough, his mother and I raised the same type of people. She and I always were on good terms and she confided in me on more than one occasion her disappointment in her son. She gave him nothing but love but completely over spoiled him. Never let him stand on his own two feet and pay for his mistakes, always bailing him out of trouble. Yet I always made my girl pay for her mistakes and never bailed her out of trouble and she still turned out just like her father. Sometimes it's just embedded in them. Coarsing thru their veins to be bad.
I have one of those kids. He blocked me for not paying his rent and because I kept texting job leads to his phone.
Great one.....going to bathroom when the bill is due. Looking into he's purse at registrar...to embarrass you into paying. Saying out loud " oh your also ordering a herbal tea" Constantly slapping he's pockets with a face of victim. I saw it all. Blocked him big time. A real creep
Can't wait to hear this one! My husband thinks and tells people he owns certain fruits 🙄 and his money was off shores...even said Mexican trust accounts and he legally Can't even go in Mexico as found out owes 100k child support from a previous marriage 😮 needless to say I had to buy his clothes shoes etc...meanwhile he's telling people EVERYONE we're rich 🙄 😳 😒 😑 😐 🤔 thankfully SAFELY left him. Now the ugly divorce.
wow wow
😮
@@ginawillis4 sigh yes
I Appreciate your honesty 💕 .We needed YOU to tell us 🤗
You are so welcome
That explains why I was live bombed, a guy wanted me to be his meal ticket, enabler, and he would have been a horrible mistake for me. We went out for a little bit, but he didn't really want to be with me, he just wanted the benefits.
I couldn't believe a narcissist I dealt with for two weeks lost his job and resorted to dog walking, had the nerve to try and talk sh*t and treat me like sh*t...he got discarded fast! Two weeks was too long
At least if you have nothing to offer, then treat the woman you are pursuing like a queen. Something is wrong with these guys!! I've met good ones so I know there are many good ones out there. It's just finding one who's not taken.
If he never made you feel bad about it or used your emotions then he ain't a real solid narc but just a parasite. Glad you pulled that through though 🙏
@@annehasenya8678 IT was all emotional abuse games he was playing with me and that's why I had to get rid of him. He was what I believe the covert narcissist type. He even told me stories about different things women tried to do to him--those are big red flags when a man have to tell you about an ex who tried to kill him or run him over with a car, or tried to make him lose his job.
@@aurorarene9909 Sure it's more clear now, you did well by finding your peace. I support your move you go girl 💪 and enjoy that life. When he comes back show him the door he don't deserve you. Thanks for standing up for yourself
@@annehasenya8678I got a hoover one week after I broke Up with him--I gave him no response. And I got a holiday hoover and once again--I gave him no response. I feel better that I was strong enough to walk away because he was someone I knew and dated from HS. we just crossed paths again 30yrs. later and just tried to rekindle things. But, Thank you
This is EXACTLY what my narc was!! OMG! I was waiting for such a video! They'll also keep telling you what you can't do, and never be good enough and only a fool for even trying to make a career when in reality they are the bum and only projecting to destroy you anyway. And they did cheat on their wife and wanted to leave her for me, but I eloped first as soon as I realise what's going on here. This kind of video and channels like yours saved my ****(future) getting destroyed ❤
Edit: I also observed that even though getting a job is not all that hard for such an well qualified narc, but keeping it is hard when they need to follow orders of their superiors or need to follow any suggestions from client. They are just too entitled to listen to any other opinion and they'll just quit in such situations which is mostly within a week of getting the job.
they dont like for ppl to be able to tell them what to do
@@MentalHealness absolutely!!!
I have seen the saying out there that no one falls in love faster than a narcissist who needs a place to live and that's a sure thing and it took one week transition to discard me and be living with someone else because my resources got low
I’m glad I’ve never gotten this far w a narcissist… the way you describe everything really tickled me. “Hard times of laziness” 😅
😥🤭
I am actually experiencing this right now. The oddest part is that he is my ex-boyfriend. I’ve been trying to get him to leave and it’s been one thing after another as to why you can’t First. His truck was broken down and when we got that fixed he got sent home from work because we have a bedbug situation through no fault of our own however, they don’t want him at work while we have an active infestation so he’s home, has been for three weeks with the exception of a few days. I am on disability and have barely enough money to pay rent and bills and this man stays in bed until noon or 1 o’clock, 2 o’clock or sometimes 3 o’clock. And he doesn’t see why I have a problem with that.
Same situation for me. And It's crazy that they can't see why you have a problem with them being lazy, non working, leeching bums.
I was looking for a video on this and nobody was talking the right talk! THANK YOU!
Yes! This is the entire perspective of what I went through & have been going through with the narcissistic person I’ve been involved with & have a child with. 🤦🏾♀️.
It’s been years! can’t keep a steady job & always on hard times never wanting to stay with his mother or other family members! Discouraging ME. Until I lost everything not having his help.
Leave him. This is exactly why I got divorced. You’d be better off by yourself.
You have my DEEPEST SYMPATHY 💔
Reading my life story. So done.
Wow what an eye opener
Incredible
My situation
Like they play victim of not working
Watching you pay all bills
Not much help around
If someone is being housed by you
The appreciation should be enormous
But no they play the attitude that they helped you like once years ago , you owe me”
My narc lived free
Claiming to be unwell
Needing much time to relax enjoy hobbies
Watch you wear yourself into exhaustion
Just insane
I know your were being dead serious but I literally laughed the entire video 😂 maybe to keep from crying your analysis is spot on
Same😩🤣
Girl, SAME
Yes!!! I was with one for 2 years!! What a soul tie. I’m so free & happy now it’s over! Lots of time to heal and understand what happened during that time. ❤ god bless you!
Thanks for sharing!!
💯💯💯💣 ex narc berated me for relaxing on the couch ....from a 3rd shift job. He called me lazy! I've heard all this!
Oh wow!
My Narc said I’m having trouble at work I’m going to have to resign. I said how are you going to pay your bills ? It was the test to see if I would take care of him. I think he realised he was going to be homeless if he had no job. This was the only thing I didn’t fall for unfortunately
Thank you Lee! You have just validated my experience with my EX-Husband. Never did anything to help me, paid me zero, thought he was too smart to work any job, etc...I only wish he would have discarded ME, I had to pay him to leave in the divorce, LOL!!!
‼️‼️ stay empowered
It’s absolutely crazy how accurate you were in comparison to my past marriage and not just most of it but I literally mean every single sentence was spot on!!! 💯💯💯
Oh wow!
They seem soooo vulnerable and transparent in the beginning, so you think 🤔 how could I be dealing with a liar?!? It’s like they’re telling me everything up front so surely I can believe them!! Then they’ve got their foot in the door.
Every word is right on Lee!! Bless you for all your help 😊
Damn this is going to be good. My kids sperm donor NEVER HAD IT AND WOULD BE MAD AT OTHERS THAT DID
🙏🏽😫
@@MentalHealnessGirl we got the same baby daddy
Mine too mess my nice car up sneak and pawn my jewelry a man from hell I'm angry I wasn't aware of a narc like him
I got a good one for you all. My husband use to spend money take me out to eat and then after he would say I need you to send me money I went into overdraft 😭🤦🏻♀️ filed for divorce last week!
I never go through this anymore glad someone else has that
You describe my situation of the last 15 years. He was on social welfare, i had a great job as a project accountant and business controller. And he managed to manipulate me by using my empathy against me. He stayed at home on the couch watching sports on tv for more than 13 years. I still can't believe it looking back.
They can surely steal other people's stuff, and money, then they'd be okay.. I've had this happen lol!!
😞😞
Yep my narc ex-gf stayed at my house for 5 weeks this summer. I hadnt had insurance for years and i got some earlier this year but didnt get it set up yet. I have a bad back and do does she. She stole my pain pills for my back and then denied that she ever did.
Me too mine is so low he keeps ponding my jewelry He even pondered a ring that belongs to my dad grandma like the ultimate disrespect I've had enough I just want to get away but when you married and have kids it's not that simple but God show me the way out
@@ladyredd6857 mine stole pain meds from my bathroom cabinet and then denied it all.
Best video yet. Keeps me standing firm whenever his capricious behavior starts something and I refuse to cave to his demand.
💪🏽💪🏽
My thing is they don’t want to work, they always want ppl to do for them & it’s so weird, it’s always are you gonna take care of me so I can stop working, and my answer is always a laugh, cus stop playing with me, maybe when I was blinded, but baby now u see!! I will not be fooled, my heart may feel so attached but my mind is unattached & stronger then these emotions will ever be 💯
💯💯
Thank you for the video Lee! This is exactly what happened to me! The narc played nice until we moved into our house. Then pulled a bait and switch- wanted me to take care of everything AND his kids from a previous marriage while we both worked full time. Pretty sure he cheated. Gave him 3 months to change, and when he didn’t got my ass out of there. Sold the house against his will, and sent him packing. ✌️
💪🏽💪🏽