One year no contact on the 11th of this month, and I'm still worried they will pop back up. Love and peace to all who have been through relationships with narcissists. ✌♥️😁
They pop up 3yrs later, ✅& 2years later✅- hoping youll have forgotten their cruel crap by then. DONT! They get worse after you fall for all the ‘ive changed’ bs & lying promises. just yet another love bombing… goes back to selfishness betrayal & abuse. 💯🙏 Head over heart is what heals your life hereon!
The 12th of October made a year of no contact with my narcissistic cousin. She has made several hoovering attempts and has done at least one smear campaign. She's also deployed her flying monkeys. After these attempts failed, she deleted me in social media (which I intended), opening the door for me to block her. Even if she pops back up, I will say the bare minimum to her.
Mine was July and it took a good minute to figure out that I no longer had to worry about everything I said, did anything I've found that peace I missed so much ❤️🙏
@@moniqueboatfield Stalked and Hacked going on almost 2 years...he comes back to stir up drama and then leave, as if the fact I left and NEVER went back is going to change.
That’s why he wasn’t on my social media. I bought a house without him knowing where, he never knew where I worked so when I left, I disappeared and we don’t have no children.
NO ONE IS PERFECT WHY DON'T YOU ALL TRY TO HELP THE NARCISSIST AND AND HELP ONE ANOTHER INSTEAD OF ALL THE HATE NO ONE IS PERFECT YES HAVE BOUNDARIES I UNDERSTAND THAT BUT MY GOODNESS THESE CHANNELS JUST TALK ABOUT HOW EVIL THEY ARE WE ARE ALL EVIL FOR NO ONE IS GOOD THE BIBLE SAYS IN GOD SAYS
@AnnaParada-x3y WOAH, CAPITAL LETTERS AND EVERYTHING! None of you people know what she's been through with this man, none of us do. Sometimes people are so unstable and volatile that it's impossible to safely maintain contact with the children. The very fact that she's stated that it hurts her to keep him away from their son should tell you that she did try to maintain contact and wishes things could be different. Some women do spitefully cut their childrens' fathers off because they want them out of the picture, but this definitely doesn't sound like one of those cases. Being a single mother with no break isn't just a big laugh.
That’s exactly what I did, we were in a relationship for 2 1/2 I left Sept 26 and took all my stuff out when he was out of the state for work, I blocked him from my phone ( even private calls) social media and family. I haven’t heard anything from him since that day. He was always telling me YOU AINT GOING NOWHERE……. ME: Ok buddy watch me. I’m in peace now thanks to god and my family.
❤ Absolutely. Love this for you. It's crazy making because even the best of the narcissist relatives will sit up & be the easiest for narcissist to use to try to get info about you whether verbal or by association on social media ect. My ex a relative he started to target for the first time ever was not used to it. This person told me they never dealt with anyone playing mental gymnastics like that ect. I eventually showed this person video of what I recorded of physical attack trying to choke me out and everything else when this relative was trying to suggest we should "try to work it out", "you all been together so long", ect. Said relative didn't know what to say. I just stopped talking to them bc they didnt "know how to hold their water" aka the narcissist used this legit kind person who didn't know from any experience dealing w/ narcissist prior to being the narcissist punching bag temporarily (and video I showed them for example of my physical abuse). Side note the relative I'm referring to had let my ex stay with them while I had a no contact order and my ex began to basically do minor gaslighting and disrespectful things (leaving doors unlocked in not so great neighborhood, asking this relative to hold onto cash then when he would take the $$ back accuse this relative of stealing-childish things). So part of me seems many sides to this. 1. This person was/is still new in 1.5 yrs since this occurred to being the victim of narcissist abuse, expecting to be a flying monkeys so didnt/doesn't know how to deal w/ it. 2. Despite the intuition of this relative knowing something way off they also know they wanted to not feel obligation to take my ex in or give him too much energy, hence if I took ex back they wouldn't be in this place.
If he only knew I’m so wrecked from this, I would’ve never left him for another man. I left him to save myself. It’s gonna take some major healing before I ever get into another relationship.
@@kellyspears9005 Me too! I have anger issues with, and it a year nearly. I can’t imagine trusting another man, 16 years together as intimate partners. Never lived together thank God. But he around for me raising my kids, and loved by us all for years, his kids just mean to me. Called out after 12 years. He refused counselling many times. He would take Viagra and not tell me, and l expressed every time how disrespectful for me and creating issues for me (he had a heart problem, and medication affected his FAT). I tired of, he could have his sons, l out and he talked me into date days, and he just got so nasty over those days. He knew l leaving. Wrecked me. But my journey now, still struggle.got a van. Sold my house, travelled 8000km as of today, from Victoria’s to WA Australia, an amazing journey, but still healing thus watch these videos. I have learnt it is about the journey not the destination.
Yup! 🎯💯The one's I knew do these to all of his guys! Damn, she money money them for them to stay and to get an answer if who of those guys she'll choose she money them all. 👏👏👏😂😂😂😂
@@JanetDragamorebecause in their mind, it couldn't possibly be because them and their toxic behavior that caused you to leave! It has to be that you found someone else! Ugh!
@@JanetDragamore because they're that brilliant that there could be no other reason. Also because they're that insecure that they were paranoid that was going to happen all along.
After being stalked abd hunted for 3 years. I finally disappeared, left the state and only informed my adult children ahead of time. I almost to 1 year of freedom now
I was in a toxic relationship with a friend for 11 years. Case in point: She would act like she was happy for me but she really wasn’t. One day, out of the blue, she blocked and unfriended me. She thought I would have a reaction was very angry when I didn’t react. So much to the point that she was telling mutual friends of ours to unfriend ir she couldn’t be friends with me. I still didn’t react and she went on a warpath.
This is so true I was playing the block and unblock game and he reached like nothing happened. Thank you Lee I didn’t fall for it, but I should of listened to you about the blocking
Hell they're already doing others on the side while being with you... so what's left to care about them moving on 🤷🏽♀ did while ya with me doing while i left ya...i can do bad feel sad on my own.. I choose me... Was sad, feeling on edge, walking on egg shells while thinking you're in a relationship with them however the whole time we're in a self relationship 🤦🏽♀🤦🏽♀🤦🏽♀🤦🏽♀ i give up let the next and the next have all that misery!
I had an ex husband that was this. He took my daughter away from me. I wanted to get fully custody, but, I was awarded j joint custody. My daughter became a drug addict. Be careful. Never have a relationship with these people.
I actually did disappear without a trace, moved across the country. They showed up on my doorstep within 5 months. I called the police then got the restraining order.
I give this channel a virtual gold medal bc I've been looking for THIS particular topic, broken down into THESE particular details for months now and could not find it! Good Job, Lee!!! 👏🏿👏🏿
I left my narcissist partner because I got a new job to start my career and he was not supportive of that. I fully expected that he would’ve showed up at my new workplace to get me fired so I never told him where I got the job. I cut off access but he still messaged me everyday for the next year. Never responded. Stay strong everyone! There is a future for you after leaving the relationship even though you can’t see it now!!
Thank you so much, Lee. You’ve truly changed my life for the better. Both of my exes were narcissists who abused me mentally and physically. Over the past year, I’ve read countless books and been through therapy, but nothing has brought me more peace than hearing a narcissist himself answer all of my questions. Your insights have given me the clarity I was searching for.
Omg, what I noticed while I was watching your video is that once it was a struggle to leave him but now it's a blessing. I have noticed that even when his bs comes into my mind I squeeze my teeth.. And now, thank God, I get rid of a factor that I have to give report to. I am free and blessed🙏🙏🙏
I’m in the process of leaving as well. I have three kids as well, but I’m going through it with blaming shifting, cheating, bullying, belittling and the amount of stress has become overwhelming. Dealing with everything has become a mountain on my back. I have nothing else to give of myself. I’m empty emotionally, physically, mentally I’m done. I know that I need to get out because I’m living in a nightmare. I have become very detached from everything. I’m in the house, but I’m really absent. I’m invisible. I’m looking forward to leaving so I can get back to who I was. I miss me.
Nov will be 3 yrs no contact!!!! Mine thought I acually married someone else!!! He discarded me like Mondays trash and STILL had me followed, found out where I was living before my current place. I wonder if he's going crazy because he can't find me now!! He has no clue where I'm living. The fact he worked so hard at finding out where Iived before was enough for me! 😂😂😂😂
Hello, I'm new here and I'm supporting my daughter that's going through this right now and everything you say is everything he does thank you so much for your service May the MOST HIGH BLESS YOU AND KEEP YOU
Brilliant and bang on point ! 👏👏😎 The big con was always that we needed the narc , when it was always the other way around ! The reason mine never came after me was because it would been admitting it was their fault , and that would be admitting they were wrong ! Their totally overblown sence of self importance and need to feel superior comes FIRST ! After all , we were the one with the issues , and our life was always secondary and we were always going to wind up less in their demented eyes !! 😂😂😊
Yup. He sent letter wondering if I was kidnapped. His flying monkeys stalked my house. I moved a couple months later. No flying monkeys knew where I went.
I had a narcissistic boss who abused me for 6 years. The first 2.5 years I couldn’t put my finger on the problem. He was a preachers kid who never raised his voice with an amazing smile and a leader in the community. This man started out amazing, it was me and him against the world. Whenever there was an issue with the company he’d blame me, even if it was his responsibility or he gave a specific direction (and I had proof) he’d double down. He’d leave the country and call me from the airport but still wouldn’t say anything and leave me to manage the small agency without warning. When I confronted him about the lack of communication, he’d say “well, I did t tell you because I knew you’d be mad”. He take responsibilities from me in front of other staff and leave them with no one to cover them and I’d have to pick them up on the backend so things wouldn’t fall through the cracks. He gave me an office (that I didn’t ask for) then told me I thought I was all that and I just want to sit in my “ivory tower”. He’s verbally tear me down every chance he got and would be so smug about it. I stopped talking in meetings at one point and he was so angry about it because he needed my input but he’d treat me so badly I didn’t think it was valuable. Anywho, I left and he sat at home for three days sulking. When the other executive went to his house to check on him, he gave her a $20k raise and the keys to his car on the spot. I took a $40k pay cut to leave that job and have never felt more at peace. I purposely didn’t tell anyone where my new job was and he asked employees for years over and over. It’s been 2.5 years and as of last week, he asked someone why I wasn’t speaking to him anymore.
@@queencupcake sounds like a communal narcissist right there! I once worked for one that was borderlining on sociopath, faaaaark it was scary near the end! Was happy to get out and get free.
About 3 years no contact now. Hurt my heart in the beginning. I can forgive, but I don't forget everything. She sent me SEVEN birthday gifts in the mail trying to get me to speak to her and then sent my husband a crying face emoji in his email.🙄 GOOD THING, everyone else moved & or has different addresses and phone numbers.😂 I KNOW NOW that I did the correct thing in my heart after so many years of judgement & horrific emotional & physical abuse. My family was even violent to me after I got out of the military!! No sir, no way, no ma'am! 👋
Yep! When I was there, asking for things to get fixed, cleaned up or counseling was nagging and a definite No! After he knew I was leaving, he immediately began cleaning up, fixing up and claimed he had a therapist and went to people he thought I’d talk to to tell them things before I could which proved that he didn’t know me at all! 🙄
I'm currently in danger now, when I left him he had me gang stalked and harassed Eveñed moved from State to state only to be stalked again. Even poisoned
He lost his mind, I felt bad and decided to see him, hair was all messy, teeth not brushed gas tank on E, Pathetic, Also found out that he slept with 3 different women lol 😅
Unfortunately he wouldn't have to look far, right now we are cramped in a motel room. Next step is the street literally! I've offered to train my replacement, but that didn't work. I'm tired of this. Pray for me. Thanks
He was hoovering, stalking , while trying to introduce me to the new supply , but as sure as I tell ya, the Lord is the author of PEACE, not confusion, he tried to bully me in the court room, but I kept documents of his foolishness, his anger was so uncontrollable, he worked so hard to destroy me, to the point of him destroying himself...stay no contact.... Even with the kids ....move to the other side of the world if u can ...
I blocked him three months ago after he totally lost it and send me a repulsive message throwing everything possible to hurt me . After this I decided to cut him off forever . Deleted the number as well Is my turn to reject for the first time ever blocking him after 4 years, while he was blocking me whenever he felt like and during emergencies. His existence is not my problem anymore
One year no texting. 10 months zero contact!! 🎉. Last time I saw that evil man was Jan 10 2024. I block him from everything changed my number blocked his family. I moved to a new city and deleted all pictures. Was abused 3.5 years by that man went back and forth with him. Thank you God I’m free and at peace 🕊️
In January I called my narc out. He blocked me and entered a new relationship. I played it back by blocking him on every platform I could. Well- as usual. As you would already know. That peaked his interest again. He got one of his mates to try and add me on instagram. The issue was - I actually knew who that guy was. He talks about me to other ppl and is even changing his roster to work with one of my mates on a regular basic. Coincidence?? I think not. Same old same old games. Have I given in.. hell no! Haha
I have a woman from church doing this now! " if she continues to ignore my texts and calls I'll call the police to do a welfare check!" Woman, you are embarrassing yourself. Not me. I made the mistake of not using discernment when I met her.. and gave TOO MUCH INFORMATION. Beware people..never spill the tea about your past relationships or how anyone used/hurt you! You need to keep it to yourself..talk about the abusive relationship in counseling/therapy..not new or even old so called friends! Use discernment and keep it to yourself or between you and a professional who has a hippa or confidentiality agreement with you. If you haven't been through it.. this video is spot on. My ex reeled me back in so many times before I even knew what was happening.
I tried to leave multiple times got beat, choked, raped and shot at. He harassed me then got arrested, month later he bonded out stalked me back in jail and of course it's all my fault. The horrid mind games of these ppl
He's not a narcissist doing all of that, he's a psychopath... even worse! He sees you as his toy he feels ownership over you and that's the whole issue! They are very unhinged and determined. The law means nothing to him, get away at all cost!
I cut off a narc friend almost two years ago, he did not try to hoover me. I assumed it was because of the embarrassment and shame of having his ass handed back to him. He actually had this false sense of empowerment and gave me an ultimatum, either I submitted to his demands or he would cut me off. When he realized that wasn't going to work he immediately started backpedaling, denying, lying and actually tried to blame me....that was the final straw, and I cut him off.
I've done it before I knew what no contact was. I have a very dis functional family. I say you get a no contact, you get a block, you get a grey rock 🥌. I used to have terrible migraines but they've almost went away. I don't know why its put into our soul we have to take their mental ab#se.❤❤
😢😢😢😢 very authentic consistent informative, keep feeling other people counter livelihood in response to N.P.D as it unfold a mystery unbeknownst to many who fall prey to the tangled webs which narcissist weave into our emotions ❤
Ufff, after 3.5 years, I am finally divorced, but I still need one more signature from him and some paperwork until I can block him eventually and this time for good! I also plan on moving and changing my appearance- can wait to cut those last ties..
YO I AM WRITING IN ALL CAPS CAUSE I WANT TO KNOW IF ANYONE ELSE NOTICE THIS. WATCH WHAT HAPPENS AT 6:33. THIS HAS BEEN HAPPENING. SO off subject but a new phenomenon none the less. Its like we can see energy
"Because they want to hurt you". 100 percent yes! My narc dad waited years until my brother and I were old enough to manipulate to use us to hurt our mother. We fell for his bs because we were young and dumb and because our mom never talked bad about him in front of us. She wanted us to have a good relationship with our dad. He abused that trust horribly. I went no contact at 16, my brother at 17, totally independent of each other. He's dead now, but continued till his last day talking crap about my mom on Facebook and to anyone who would listen, while trying to 'friend' me. His only friend some pastor he promised all is money to.
Yep, he broke my tailbone in our fifth anniversary around that time. That got me pregnant because he knew I was on my way out. Use that to keep me there here. Rather, I'm still trying to get out. My son is nineteen, my daughter's twenty six, and they are now his flying monkeys
In my case I was lucky I was able to get her out!!! Yup I had to get a restraining order to keep her out of my building and showing up at my door breaking totally away from her has been a 4 year journey!!! Ive experienced physical and emotional abuse!!! And right now she's blocked she calls and leave voice mails either she's cursing me out and threatening me or love bombing me!!! I keep ignoring it and will continue to do so, she has no more power I'm in control in my life!!! And of course I'm sure she's with someone else and I don't care!!! I finally have my life back and my peace!!! If she decides to show up here or stop me on the street getting all crazy she will be arrested!!! And you know what I was lucky to have been able to get her out of my life!!! Oh yeah the lies she'll change she wants to protect me!!! In my case she's mentally ill and dangerous!!! And I dodged a big bullet!!! I'm so so done!!!!
When I didn’t answer for a few hours at my moms memorial family bbq (he had blocked me for weeks prior then out of the blue called right out of having surgery asking for a ride and then I helped for 2 days and then I went to the bbq on day 3 and he seemed thankful until later in the evening). That night He called my dad (1am) to tell him all my secrets. My dad was so upset in the morning, the cat got out and within 2 min was torn apart by dogs right by our front door. Then he showed up at our house in the morning while we were trying to get her to the vet and delayed her treatment.
Grudge driven hoover is when the narc wants to gain access to u in order to punish u for what u done in their mind. You're an enemy in his mind and he wants to punish u, his view of u has changed.
2:02 Well, after his last rage in his car almost killing us and screaming at me to "Get the fuck out!" among other horrible things - I actually finally left. I doubt he thought I was actually going to as I always stayed in the past - but I was done and left. No clue what he's doing or thinking but he's in poor me mode. I don't know if he actually wanted me to leave or not, but I'm out. He sent 1 text saying "I hope you're ok" and I never responded.
So true, mine got me pregnant again when he knew I had one foot out the door but was trying to work it out but tried to give another chance to salvage the marriage before divorcing him.
Mine did not want to know if i was safe or we me and baby. He wanted control and the courts to make me return. Since then, his mask has fully splipped, and the whole abuse cycle is what i am forced to face per court orders. That makes sense, Lee. The shame ego, etc.
My narcissist ex husband told me leave him alone. This is his chance to run far away from me. That his life isn't gonna end if I don't talk to him blah blah, so I grant his wishes. Now every few days he's blowing up my phone. It's been a month since we spoke and he's going crazy, he begged for a divorce I gave him one but afterwards he didn't want it lol. Now maybe he'll learn not to talk shit.
Lol. Everything you saying is true I went back and forth with one for years till I just left for good he was not physically abusive he just played a lot of mental games that were wearing me down..Whew!
After 5 years I left and his come back was “ I wish we could have coparented”, and further into the convo then” you kept putting having a baby longer away” Not gonna lie now the thoughts of babies makes me shiver 😖
My twin was the scapegoat took her life last year then the narc family came after me to isolate me and sacrifice me I had to change my number and vanish. Forever
One year no contact on the 11th of this month, and I'm still worried they will pop back up. Love and peace to all who have been through relationships with narcissists. ✌♥️😁
💪
Oh my God that's how I feel I'm so terrified that he'll keep popping up
Me too!! Every unknown number, every random email, every random add on social media, every happenstance - I refuse to open anything anymore! 🥺
They pop up 3yrs later, ✅& 2years later✅- hoping youll have forgotten their cruel crap by then. DONT! They get worse after you fall for all the ‘ive changed’ bs & lying promises. just yet another love bombing… goes back to selfishness betrayal & abuse. 💯🙏
Head over heart is what heals your life hereon!
The 12th of October made a year of no contact with my narcissistic cousin. She has made several hoovering attempts and has done at least one smear campaign. She's also deployed her flying monkeys. After these attempts failed, she deleted me in social media (which I intended), opening the door for me to block her. Even if she pops back up, I will say the bare minimum to her.
I disappeared on 8-31-23. Over one year no contact, it's so peaceful!
Isn't Life Beautiful ❤️❤️❤️.
Mine was July and it took a good minute to figure out that I no longer had to worry about everything I said, did anything I've found that peace I missed so much ❤️🙏
AMEN
A week before Christmas will be 3 years NO CONTACT and we work together. I treat him like he is invisible. STAY STRONG EVERYONE. 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
If they let you go accept the blessing and move on. A narc that won’t take their L is smoke you don’t want, lol.
Oh they need the last word or dig like we need air
@@moniqueboatfield I left him on read 2x and I’m so proud of myself.
@ I’m proud of you too!
💯💯
@@moniqueboatfield Stalked and Hacked going on almost 2 years...he comes back to stir up drama and then leave, as if the fact I left and NEVER went back is going to change.
Yes they can move on very fast immediately and at the same time plunge into harrassing you too.
Is wild
My ex pops up every two months like clockwork. 🙄
Yes,this is true
@@idunno6480mine every seven days .. it’s crazy
Yep jekyl n Hyde continues
2 months no contact as of today. I disappeared when he went to work after 3 years of severe physical and mental abuse. I’m safe and I’m free. ❤
I feel you❤
Over 1 year now and I'm at peace. I used to be worried he would stalk me, but I guess he understood he's no longer welcome here.
Congratulations. Stay strong and alert as it may not be over as mine came back 6 Years later
I’m glad he didn’t stalk you. I’m hoping mine won’t 😢
Good for you❤️
He would say that he was calling to check on me but he was really trying to check what type of mood I was in.
yep
Why was he trying to check for mood? @@MentalHealness
@@rbsluv915 to destroy it....
@@rbsluv915 So he knows how to deal with her. my kids dad did the same
Or wanted some xxx. Smh
That’s why he wasn’t on my social media. I bought a house without him knowing where, he never knew where I worked so when I left, I disappeared and we don’t have no children.
Good job. You were smart about it.
@@spookymech6462 That’s a powerful move! Good for you. Hope you’re still doing well.
Good for YOU ❤️😂🎯.
I love this for you
I'm proud of you
I recently left one and I’m so glad mentally draining people are the worst
4 years no contact. It hurts my heart because my son loves him. But since no contact our lives are much more peaceful ❤
Let him see his son then it’s different when the kids don’t like them you have to let the kids see them for who they are
NO ONE IS PERFECT WHY DON'T YOU ALL TRY TO HELP THE NARCISSIST AND AND HELP ONE ANOTHER INSTEAD OF ALL THE HATE NO ONE IS PERFECT YES HAVE BOUNDARIES I UNDERSTAND THAT BUT MY GOODNESS THESE CHANNELS JUST TALK ABOUT HOW EVIL THEY ARE WE ARE ALL EVIL FOR NO ONE IS GOOD THE BIBLE SAYS IN GOD SAYS
@@AnnaParada-x3y Are you OKAYY
Sounds like you’re the narc. If you deny access to the other parent your the problem. The courts are absolutely gender biased towards men.
@AnnaParada-x3y WOAH, CAPITAL LETTERS AND EVERYTHING!
None of you people know what she's been through with this man, none of us do. Sometimes people are so unstable and volatile that it's impossible to safely maintain contact with the children. The very fact that she's stated that it hurts her to keep him away from their son should tell you that she did try to maintain contact and wishes things could be different. Some women do spitefully cut their childrens' fathers off because they want them out of the picture, but this definitely doesn't sound like one of those cases. Being a single mother with no break isn't just a big laugh.
That’s exactly what I did, we were in a relationship for 2 1/2 I left Sept 26 and took all my stuff out when he was out of the state for work, I blocked him from my phone ( even private calls) social media and family. I haven’t heard anything from him since that day. He was always telling me YOU AINT GOING NOWHERE……. ME: Ok buddy watch me. I’m in peace now thanks to god and my family.
@@glamchic4220 i had to call 911 on September 26! Completely blindsided him.
❤
Absolutely. Love this for you. It's crazy making because even the best of the narcissist relatives will sit up & be the easiest for narcissist to use to try to get info about you whether verbal or by association on social media ect.
My ex a relative he started to target for the first time ever was not used to it. This person told me they never dealt with anyone playing mental gymnastics like that ect. I eventually showed this person video of what I recorded of physical attack trying to choke me out and everything else when this relative was trying to suggest we should "try to work it out", "you all been together so long", ect.
Said relative didn't know what to say. I just stopped talking to them bc they didnt "know how to hold their water" aka the narcissist used this legit kind person who didn't know from any experience dealing w/ narcissist prior to being the narcissist punching bag temporarily (and video I showed them for example of my physical abuse). Side note the relative I'm referring to had let my ex stay with them while I had a no contact order and my ex began to basically do minor gaslighting and disrespectful things (leaving doors unlocked in not so great neighborhood, asking this relative to hold onto cash then when he would take the $$ back accuse this relative of stealing-childish things). So part of me seems many sides to this. 1. This person was/is still new in 1.5 yrs since this occurred to being the victim of narcissist abuse, expecting to be a flying monkeys so didnt/doesn't know how to deal w/ it.
2. Despite the intuition of this relative knowing something way off they also know they wanted to not feel obligation to take my ex in or give him too much energy, hence if I took ex back they wouldn't be in this place.
I blocked everywhere, went no contact, got all my stuff 2 weeks ago. Suddenly feeling like I miss him but not reaching out cause he WILL destroy me
Being in peace is somewhere.
Aw nice. I went aaway and my sister starts hanging out with the narc
I DISAPPEARED ON 1-18-2024. NO CONTACT WORKS!
Congrats. Me too.
I'll be doing this soon I'm 18 and hopefully I'll feel better after I leave cause i'm starting to feel sick I think ..
Me on 6-11-2024
Congrats… keep your head on a swivel and stay aware of your surroundings…🙏🏽❤️
@@Bigmac022yes you will … it’s creating chemical imbalances within you… stay safe and good luck …
2 years and nothing. He had someone else before I was even out of the picture. More power to him.
Poor her😨
2 years only 2 messages then nothing 🙏 he was with a couple before I finally left a 5 year soul draining narcissist
If he only knew I’m so wrecked from this, I would’ve never left him for another man. I left him to save myself. It’s gonna take some major healing before I ever get into another relationship.
He wouldn't care.
@@kellyspears9005 Me too! I have anger issues with, and it a year nearly. I can’t imagine trusting another man, 16 years together as intimate partners. Never lived together thank God. But he around for me raising my kids, and loved by us all for years, his kids just mean to me. Called out after 12 years. He refused counselling many times. He would take Viagra and not tell me, and l expressed every time how disrespectful for me and creating issues for me (he had a heart problem, and medication affected his FAT). I tired of, he could have his sons, l out and he talked me into date days, and he just got so nasty over those days. He knew l leaving. Wrecked me.
But my journey now, still struggle.got a van. Sold my house, travelled 8000km as of today, from Victoria’s to WA Australia, an amazing journey, but still healing thus watch these videos.
I have learnt it is about the journey not the destination.
Same here, sending you strength
They'll try to financially break so u can't leave them!!!
🎯🎯
Yup! 🎯💯The one's I knew do these to all of his guys! Damn, she money money them for them to stay and to get an answer if who of those guys she'll choose she money them all. 👏👏👏😂😂😂😂
They're worthless & live off anybody who'll put up with their disgusting ways!!!
Indeed, wife killed my credit :( it's ok I'm cool with rebuilding.
Last day I saw him was 9.25.24. Over a year now and it's been so peaceful
Yes! Their first thought is, you have somebody else.
💯‼️
I wanna know why they think that tho? Is it bc they have someone or bc they're insecure about you doing better?
@@JanetDragamorebecause in their mind, it couldn't possibly be because them and their toxic behavior that caused you to leave! It has to be that you found someone else! Ugh!
@@JanetDragamore because they're that brilliant that there could be no other reason. Also because they're that insecure that they were paranoid that was going to happen all along.
After being stalked abd hunted for 3 years. I finally disappeared, left the state and only informed my adult children ahead of time. I almost to 1 year of freedom now
I was in a toxic relationship with a friend for 11 years. Case in point: She would act like she was happy for me but she really wasn’t. One day, out of the blue, she blocked and unfriended me. She thought I would have a reaction was very angry when I didn’t react. So much to the point that she was telling mutual friends of ours to unfriend ir she couldn’t be friends with me. I still didn’t react and she went on a warpath.
This is so true I was playing the block and unblock game and he reached like nothing happened. Thank you Lee I didn’t fall for it, but I should of listened to you about the blocking
what do you mean by should have listened about the blocking? I want to know because I just blocked my narc. Is this a bad thing?
@ blocking is good there is a video about 3 weeks ago about it.
@@suzannehill2111it's the unblocking part. I did it too when I first left the xnarc.
Blocking is good but keep it blocked! 😂❤
Hell they're already doing others on the side while being with you... so what's left to care about them moving on 🤷🏽♀ did while ya with me doing while i left ya...i can do bad feel sad on my own.. I choose me... Was sad, feeling on edge, walking on egg shells while thinking you're in a relationship with them however the whole time we're in a self relationship 🤦🏽♀🤦🏽♀🤦🏽♀🤦🏽♀ i give up let the next and the next have all that misery!
So true!!
True
😊🖤🌻
12 years NC. Never been happier.
I had an ex husband that was this. He took my daughter away from me. I wanted to get fully custody, but, I was awarded j joint custody. My daughter became a drug addict. Be careful. Never have a relationship with these people.
I actually did disappear without a trace, moved across the country. They showed up on my doorstep within 5 months. I called the police then got the restraining order.
WOW. WTH
Oh shxt 😮😮😮😮
Did he leave you alone after that?😮
I give this channel a virtual gold medal bc I've been looking for THIS particular topic, broken down into THESE particular details for months now and could not find it! Good Job, Lee!!! 👏🏿👏🏿
Glad it was helpful!
I left my narcissist partner because I got a new job to start my career and he was not supportive of that. I fully expected that he would’ve showed up at my new workplace to get me fired so I never told him where I got the job. I cut off access but he still messaged me everyday for the next year. Never responded. Stay strong everyone! There is a future for you after leaving the relationship even though you can’t see it now!!
Thank you for talking about baby traps & financial abuse traps.
As you being a narcisst i appreciate youre self awarness and im proud of you for trying to help others.
Thank you so much, Lee. You’ve truly changed my life for the better. Both of my exes were narcissists who abused me mentally and physically. Over the past year, I’ve read countless books and been through therapy, but nothing has brought me more peace than hearing a narcissist himself answer all of my questions. Your insights have given me the clarity I was searching for.
you’re welcome and happy to help
Man, it's crazy how accurate this is! Is there a narcissistic script that is on page 14 of the handbook? SHE asked was I safe...
😵💫
Omg, what I noticed while I was watching your video is that once it was a struggle to leave him but now it's a blessing. I have noticed that even when his bs comes into my mind I squeeze my teeth.. And now, thank God, I get rid of a factor that I have to give report to. I am free and blessed🙏🙏🙏
I’m in the process of leaving as well. I have three kids as well, but I’m going through it with blaming shifting, cheating, bullying, belittling and the amount of stress has become overwhelming. Dealing with everything has become a mountain on my back. I have nothing else to give of myself. I’m empty emotionally, physically, mentally I’m done. I know that I need to get out because I’m living in a nightmare. I have become very detached from everything. I’m in the house, but I’m really absent. I’m invisible. I’m looking forward to leaving so I can get back to who I was. I miss me.
stay safe and get YOU back
🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Be careful and be safe. I'm hoping you find yourself again
I did the reverse hoover he totally ignored me he never replied back over 3 years he ignored me I think iv got tje message now 🤔 😅 😂@@MentalHealness
I used to get old pics of us together out of nowhere without words. 🤣 Smh the extent they will go to in order to “see where you are”
Nov will be 3 yrs no contact!!!! Mine thought I acually married someone else!!! He discarded me like Mondays trash and STILL had me followed, found out where I was living before my current place. I wonder if he's going crazy because he can't find me now!! He has no clue where I'm living. The fact he worked so hard at finding out where Iived before was enough for me! 😂😂😂😂
My exotic is so bad because of my childhood. And these relationship with these men. But when i'm alone and by myself I feel so peace and happy
I realized how sick they are and it's not me. I stopped dating at 40. I like my freedom too much now.
That’s what I did and it was the safest and best decision I have ever made for my future!🎉🎉🎉Still happy and flourishing.😊
Hello, I'm new here and I'm supporting my daughter that's going through this right now and everything you say is everything he does thank you so much for your service May the MOST HIGH BLESS YOU AND KEEP YOU
My god I needed this talk today, good reminder what the reverse hoover is.
10/16/23 I booked ! 11/22/24 is the divorce date! I’m ready!
Brilliant and bang on point ! 👏👏😎 The big con was always that we needed the narc , when it was always the other way around ! The reason mine never came after me was because it would been admitting it was their fault , and that would be admitting they were wrong ! Their totally overblown sence of self importance and need to feel superior comes FIRST ! After all , we were the one with the issues , and our life was always secondary and we were always going to wind up less in their demented eyes !! 😂😂😊
i appreciate it
You may be too much of a challenge and work to manipulate back. The Narc knows, You know, You are worth more.
❤
Yup. He sent letter wondering if I was kidnapped. His flying monkeys stalked my house. I moved a couple months later. No flying monkeys knew where I went.
😩💯
STAYING STRONG 3 WEEKS
NO CONTACT 3 DAYS TOTAL
I'm so happy to be in a part of my healing where I find this funny.
Same, thank God. ❤
Thank you for INSIGHT Sir Lee 💕
I have witnessed THIS
You are so welcome
That's why I walked away from they ssa and never looked back.I went no contact point blank period!
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I had a narcissistic boss who abused me for 6 years. The first 2.5 years I couldn’t put my finger on the problem. He was a preachers kid who never raised his voice with an amazing smile and a leader in the community. This man started out amazing, it was me and him against the world. Whenever there was an issue with the company he’d blame me, even if it was his responsibility or he gave a specific direction (and I had proof) he’d double down. He’d leave the country and call me from the airport but still wouldn’t say anything and leave me to manage the small agency without warning. When I confronted him about the lack of communication, he’d say “well, I did t tell you because I knew you’d be mad”. He take responsibilities from me in front of other staff and leave them with no one to cover them and I’d have to pick them up on the backend so things wouldn’t fall through the cracks. He gave me an office (that I didn’t ask for) then told me I thought I was all that and I just want to sit in my “ivory tower”. He’s verbally tear me down every chance he got and would be so smug about it. I stopped talking in meetings at one point and he was so angry about it because he needed my input but he’d treat me so badly I didn’t think it was valuable. Anywho, I left and he sat at home for three days sulking. When the other executive went to his house to check on him, he gave her a $20k raise and the keys to his car on the spot. I took a $40k pay cut to leave that job and have never felt more at peace. I purposely didn’t tell anyone where my new job was and he asked employees for years over and over. It’s been 2.5 years and as of last week, he asked someone why I wasn’t speaking to him anymore.
@@queencupcake sounds like a communal narcissist right there! I once worked for one that was borderlining on sociopath, faaaaark it was scary near the end! Was happy to get out and get free.
About 3 years no contact now. Hurt my heart in the beginning. I can forgive, but I don't forget everything. She sent me SEVEN birthday gifts in the mail trying to get me to speak to her and then sent my husband a crying face emoji in his email.🙄 GOOD THING, everyone else moved & or has different addresses and phone numbers.😂 I KNOW NOW that I did the correct thing in my heart after so many years of judgement & horrific emotional & physical abuse. My family was even violent to me after I got out of the military!! No sir, no way, no ma'am! 👋
10/17, I will be 1 year single, 11/11 I will be 1 year #NoContact
I moved myself and my children 2500+ miles away.
💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽
Yep! When I was there, asking for things to get fixed, cleaned up or counseling was nagging and a definite No! After he knew I was leaving, he immediately began cleaning up, fixing up and claimed he had a therapist and went to people he thought I’d talk to to tell them things before I could which proved that he didn’t know me at all! 🙄
I'm currently in danger now, when I left him he had me gang stalked and harassed Eveñed moved from State to state only to be stalked again. Even poisoned
stay safe
Restraining order/ call the police
That's a psychopath, not a narcissist they aren't ambitious like that.
Can you please make a video about physical abuse/emotional abuse of a narcissist? Thank you. I really love your vids.
I have some older ones. I need to update
this please,no one addresses the physical abuse specially when you cant afford to leave.
One year of freedom from the narcissist in my family. Withdrawal was and still is hard because there were good times. But I had to save my own life.
Stay strong
He lost his mind, I felt bad and decided to see him, hair was all messy, teeth not brushed gas tank on E, Pathetic, Also found out that he slept with 3 different women lol 😅
It's been a little over 8 years with no contact and it's been heaven ❤️
Needed this at the perfect time, going through this.
💔💓💔🙏🛐 THANK YOU ARE AMAZING & I AM VERY THANKFUL FOR YOUR HUMBLE BRAVERY AND EXPERTISE.🙏🌻🌞😢💓☮️
Unfortunately he wouldn't have to look far, right now we are cramped in a motel room. Next step is the street literally! I've offered to train my replacement, but that didn't work. I'm tired of this. Pray for me. Thanks
He was hoovering, stalking , while trying to introduce me to the new supply , but as sure as I tell ya, the Lord is the author of PEACE, not confusion, he tried to bully me in the court room, but I kept documents of his foolishness, his anger was so uncontrollable, he worked so hard to destroy me, to the point of him destroying himself...stay no contact.... Even with the kids ....move to the other side of the world if u can ...
😫
I was a first hand witness, everything he has said is true, it’s unnerving. May God help us escape in safety.
I disappeared 2 years ago. I blocked and closed/cut off all access. I have not attempted to go back into that trauma bond cycle again.
I blocked him three months ago after he totally lost it and send me a repulsive message throwing everything possible to hurt me . After this I decided to cut him off forever . Deleted the number as well
Is my turn to reject for the first time ever blocking him after 4 years, while he was blocking me whenever he felt like and during emergencies. His existence is not my problem anymore
One year no texting. 10 months zero contact!! 🎉. Last time I saw that evil man was Jan 10 2024. I block him from everything changed my number blocked his family. I moved to a new city and deleted all pictures. Was abused 3.5 years by that man went back and forth with him. Thank you God I’m free and at peace 🕊️
In January I called my narc out. He blocked me and entered a new relationship. I played it back by blocking him on every platform I could. Well- as usual. As you would already know. That peaked his interest again. He got one of his mates to try and add me on instagram. The issue was - I actually knew who that guy was. He talks about me to other ppl and is even changing his roster to work with one of my mates on a regular basic. Coincidence?? I think not. Same old same old games. Have I given in.. hell no! Haha
The safety part is so true 😂😂😂😂 I went through this situation
Awesome video as always, Lee
🙂↔️😅😅
I have a woman from church doing this now! " if she continues to ignore my texts and calls I'll call the police to do a welfare check!" Woman, you are embarrassing yourself. Not me. I made the mistake of not using discernment when I met her.. and gave TOO MUCH INFORMATION. Beware people..never spill the tea about your past relationships or how anyone used/hurt you! You need to keep it to yourself..talk about the abusive relationship in counseling/therapy..not new or even old so called friends! Use discernment and keep it to yourself or between you and a professional who has a hippa or confidentiality agreement with you. If you haven't been through it.. this video is spot on. My ex reeled me back in so many times before I even knew what was happening.
YOUR A RUDE LADY. YOURSELF. NO COMPASSION NO UNDERSTANDING
Love the book for the Kids.
Thank you
They act up especially when unlock them
I tried to leave multiple times got beat, choked, raped and shot at. He harassed me then got arrested, month later he bonded out stalked me back in jail and of course it's all my fault. The horrid mind games of these ppl
He's not a narcissist doing all of that, he's a psychopath... even worse! He sees you as his toy he feels ownership over you and that's the whole issue! They are very unhinged and determined. The law means nothing to him, get away at all cost!
Dang sound like the narc I dealt with.
I cut off a narc friend almost two years ago, he did not try to hoover me. I assumed it was because of the embarrassment and shame of having his ass handed back to him. He actually had this false sense of empowerment and gave me an ultimatum, either I submitted to his demands or he would cut me off. When he realized that wasn't going to work he immediately started backpedaling, denying, lying and actually tried to blame me....that was the final straw, and I cut him off.
Omfg. It’s insane how spot on you are.
I've done it before I knew what no contact was. I have a very dis functional family. I say you get a no contact, you get a block, you get a grey rock 🥌. I used to have terrible migraines but they've almost went away. I don't know why its put into our soul we have to take their mental ab#se.❤❤
Awesome Lee! My situation exactly. Thank you!!
you’re welcome
😢😢😢😢 very authentic consistent
informative, keep feeling other people
counter livelihood in response to N.P.D
as it unfold a mystery unbeknownst to
many who fall prey to the tangled webs
which narcissist weave into our emotions ❤
Ufff, after 3.5 years, I am finally divorced, but I still need one more signature from him and some paperwork until I can block him eventually and this time for good! I also plan on moving and changing my appearance- can wait to cut those last ties..
I had to ghost my family .They treated me like crap and don't even car if i am alive or dead.
YO I AM WRITING IN ALL CAPS CAUSE I WANT TO KNOW IF ANYONE ELSE NOTICE THIS. WATCH WHAT HAPPENS AT 6:33. THIS HAS BEEN HAPPENING. SO off subject but a new phenomenon none the less. Its like we can see energy
💯
"Because they want to hurt you". 100 percent yes! My narc dad waited years until my brother and I were old enough to manipulate to use us to hurt our mother. We fell for his bs because we were young and dumb and because our mom never talked bad about him in front of us. She wanted us to have a good relationship with our dad. He abused that trust horribly. I went no contact at 16, my brother at 17, totally independent of each other. He's dead now, but continued till his last day talking crap about my mom on Facebook and to anyone who would listen, while trying to 'friend' me. His only friend some pastor he promised all is money to.
Yep, he broke my tailbone in our fifth anniversary around that time. That got me pregnant because he knew I was on my way out. Use that to keep me there here. Rather, I'm still trying to get out. My son is nineteen, my daughter's twenty six, and they are now his flying monkeys
Did he raise them? 50 / 50 or what how did he get the upper hand.
In my case I was lucky I was able to get her out!!! Yup I had to get a restraining order to keep her out of my building and showing up at my door breaking totally away from her has been a 4 year journey!!! Ive experienced physical and emotional abuse!!! And right now she's blocked she calls and leave voice mails either she's cursing me out and threatening me or love bombing me!!! I keep ignoring it and will continue to do so, she has no more power I'm in control in my life!!! And of course I'm sure she's with someone else and I don't care!!! I finally have my life back and my peace!!! If she decides to show up here or stop me on the street getting all crazy she will be arrested!!! And you know what I was lucky to have been able to get her out of my life!!! Oh yeah the lies she'll change she wants to protect me!!! In my case she's mentally ill and dangerous!!! And I dodged a big bullet!!! I'm so so done!!!!
When I didn’t answer for a few hours at my moms memorial family bbq (he had blocked me for weeks prior then out of the blue called right out of having surgery asking for a ride and then I helped for 2 days and then I went to the bbq on day 3 and he seemed thankful until later in the evening). That night He called my dad (1am) to tell him all my secrets. My dad was so upset in the morning, the cat got out and within 2 min was torn apart by dogs right by our front door. Then he showed up at our house in the morning while we were trying to get her to the vet and delayed her treatment.
Grudge driven hoover is when the narc wants to gain access to u in order to punish u for what u done in their mind. You're an enemy in his mind and he wants to punish u, his view of u has changed.
2:02 Well, after his last rage in his car almost killing us and screaming at me to "Get the fuck out!" among other horrible things - I actually finally left. I doubt he thought I was actually going to as I always stayed in the past - but I was done and left. No clue what he's doing or thinking but he's in poor me mode. I don't know if he actually wanted me to leave or not, but I'm out. He sent 1 text saying "I hope you're ok" and I never responded.
It’s been 4 years and BOOM he’s back 😡
@@dianeeckert6562 OMG really?? That’s scary.
You are just AMAZING . Thank you for the videos, your work is a diamond.
you’re welcome
So true, mine got me pregnant again when he knew I had one foot out the door but was trying to work it out but tried to give another chance to salvage the marriage before divorcing him.
Didn’t even think about my NPD’s bday this year. 2 years free 🎉
Mine did not want to know if i was safe or we me and baby. He wanted control and the courts to make me return. Since then, his mask has fully splipped, and the whole abuse cycle is what i am forced to face per court orders.
That makes sense, Lee. The shame ego, etc.
Wishing you strengtg
Firm parenting plan, specific drop off location, only communicate in parenting app or text only, limit to 1x a week- don’t speak at drop off
My favorite self aware narcissist.. my man.
🙏🏽
My narcissist ex husband told me leave him alone. This is his chance to run far away from me. That his life isn't gonna end if I don't talk to him blah blah, so I grant his wishes. Now every few days he's blowing up my phone. It's been a month since we spoke and he's going crazy, he begged for a divorce I gave him one but afterwards he didn't want it lol. Now maybe he'll learn not to talk shit.
22 months no contact. I discarded the ex narc infront of her parents at her parents house. The devil came out of her that night lol
Aww I love you made a kid book for them too! Live the care you’ve given them ❤
Lol. Everything you saying is true I went back and forth with one for years till I just left for good he was not physically abusive he just played a lot of mental games that were wearing me down..Whew!
🙏🏽🙏🏽
Wow! All this hit the nail on the head. Dang.. I'm gonna subscribe now
After 5 years I left and his come back was “ I wish we could have coparented”, and further into the convo then” you kept putting having a baby longer away”
Not gonna lie now the thoughts of babies makes me shiver 😖
My twin was the scapegoat took her life last year then the narc family came after me to isolate me and sacrifice me I had to change my number and vanish. Forever
I disappeared but he is still invested in his rel with the supply he left me for.He s not coming back and I am glad
Facts on Facts On Facts
Lol. He told his ex to get out - he initiated the divorce and STILL stalked her after he forced her to leave.
I like how you incorporated the children book