They try to come back after seeing how strong you are without them. Not because they care. They only want to disrupt your progress. Theyre petty and envious people
They don't "revalue" the person. They NEVER valued the person. they miss the supply and validation from you that they were receiving and couldn't replace.
Well i dont think a narcissistic parasite can ever discard anyone. Its the other way round. People try to get them out of their lives. And if there is an exceptional case where the narcissist does discard somebody ,it would be time to run away as fast as possible and celebrate. Nobody is going to be sad.
@PriyaK-cu1fz "Nobody is going to be sad." Think about the impact of that statement..... Imagine making soooo many people miserable, on purpose. They actually find pleasure in doing so.
When my estranged husband was dying, he wanted to come live with me because his own family kicked him out. I said NO. He died alone (and sedated) in hospice facility. Sad but I chose to protect me and my kids because I know he didn’t and couldn’t change. 🤷🏻♀️
My former friend called me on my birthday. I didn't answer, and then she sent an email saying that I was horrible to not answer, when she had stage 4 cancer. (like I could know that) I still didn't answer her. You were smart to not let him back.
@@mamashiraz Imagine the ordasity to want to come back so you could be his nurse. These people are sooooo disturbing and selfish. Good for you. I'll bet you breathed a sigh of relief when he passed. It was the end of a horrible era.
@mamashiraz I have to say, that recently I have also thought to let my ex die alone (if he ever dared to reach out). I would also chose to protect myself. ❤ I guess that they reap what they sow!
@@bobbiemichaelsNyc86 NOT HERE! NEVER EVER AGAIN, WILL SHE PUT HER DEMONIC COLD HEARTED HANDS ON MY HEART , PERIOD! HEALED TO NEVER ALLOW SATAN’S DEMONS TO BE NO WHERE CLOSE TO ME AGAIN.
Listen folks, I realize that we once loved these folks but we need to realize they are suffering from an illness that does NOT allow them to value you. You are looking for them to love you because you don't value yourself. Live your life. Stop looking for this person to do anything to or for you. Blessings to you and yours in your new life.
2 years and nothing. It's really over. I was just a placeholder until something better came along, but I walked away before he secured the other person.
My husband tried to have me sanctioned; I was taken from my home by the police to the hospital to have a phyc evaluation; while I was there, he took out an AVO so I could not return to my home. There had been no argument at the time, no reason to be removed. I still do not know what was said for me to be taken from my home by the police. I lost my home and my children. I think he had been planning for a very long time to get rid of me. Now he wants to get remarried. Not a chance!!
You may go back to them multiple times for you to figure it out. Don't feel bad because these people know what to say and do and they throw out what I call crumbs of hope. I did it multiple times. I kept forgiving but one day I didn't fall for tricks. All they do is be and say what they know you want to hear and when they got you they turn on you Again. Don't feel bad many of us return with false hopes
That's terrible. I'm sorry if you're hurting. Remember that you are set free, not discarded. Best to you and all who learned hard lessons from narcissist
4:06 yessss exactly. Now that my ex husband sees the grass ain’t greener now it’s ’I love you.’ and ‘you’re my wife’ blah blah blah. It’s gross honestly because no thank you!
it's important to prioritize your well-being and focus on your own growth rather than hoping for a toxic individual like a narcissist to change. Remember, you deserve love and respect without having to constantly seek validation from someone who may not value you the way you deserve.
Absolute truth!! Every single time I started to heal and felt better, he came back around! I had no idea about narcissism back then. I just knew I missed him and was hopeful things would be different. He had some great apologies and seemed so sincere. It happened over and over for so many years until I realized what was happening and knew I had to break away. It’s been a year and 2 months of limited contact and I am so proud of myself for not going back! I take it day by day because I know it’s easy to get sucked back in that cycle if you’re not careful. Even when you don’t want to go back, you can if you’re not continuing your healing journey. Happened to me so many times, but I’m determined this time. Thank you, Lee!!!! It’s really because of your videos that opened my eyes in 2021 to what I was dealing with. I didn’t want to believe you and still made excuses and went back countless times, but I finally got it!!! 💪
He called me 3 to 4 times a day in August for 3 weeks i finally answered and his soul found peace... it's crazy how they are so text book.. once you understand them you will never go back...
They also re-value you when they do something and you finally had enough, to the point where they know they're losing you... They start doing what they did at the beginning of the relationship...
Spoke my life .. I say it's sad he leaves enough line then when I'm gone moving on he reels me back in .. hook line and sink... ( I was blind. Embarrassed to say that) I pray can move on fully from his games.. I moved away and distanced myself.. pray for others who are going through that tough time.. alone .. growing within .. it will get better! Thank you for explaining and making videos.. 🙏🏽
Oh myy god, I dumped my ex a couple of years ago, I was in a horrific dark place by the end of the relationship. Time passed and we ended up gradually becoming really good friends (or so I thought) I quit drinking and got a new boyfriend. The relationship with the new guy wasn't toxic at all, but we were long distance and it kinda of just fizzled out ....but I was feeling good about myself, lost weight, felt confident. My ex truly made me believe he'd changed. He would talk to me and listen, he seemed open and honest. I really trusted him. We started seeing eachother again a few months ago and I am RIGHT BACK WHERE I WAS BACK THEN! and he makes out like I'm crazy. I'm done with it now though!!! That switch in my brain has flipped once again. No romantic feelings towards him now. I FEEL FREE. I hope he doesn't try it again..... Haha
It is you who has to get a hold of yourself. . . When you say you hope he doesn't try it again , it's like you are powerless , at his mercy . It's you to say no .
Your so right!!! The reason she keeps love bombing me is she's hoping I'll come back!!! Why? Because no one else is going to deal with her and her mental issues!!! Of course she went off on me because I'm done ng very well with out and she said I was selfish only thinking of my self!!! It's been a rough 4 yrs trying to get her out of my life , she didn't want to get help So I'm gone and wether she does or not I'm DONE!!! Yes that's exactly it she sees me living my best life and she's not a part of it!!! I love my life and I will never ever let her in again!!! I'm in therapy I'm healing for all the mental and physical abuse!!! I want no part of her!!! Her life is going nowhere still homeless, jobless, lying and scheming, and roaming the streets with the other losers like her!!! Unless this women ever gets help and really really looks at her life she'll never get out of the streets!!! And that's it I keep ignoring the voicemails and keep moving forward and living my best life!!! I'm never looking or going back!!! Im so so DONE
@@maryrios6529you don't get this whole npd thing. If she seemed to change for someone else, then it's an act that we've all had, it doesn't last. Give it time.
@maryrios6529 you are wrong for asking that question. We are not here to fix ppl. We are not responsible for childhood trauma. If he has offered to help her in the past and declined the offer, he did right by moving on. I am in the same boat, I dated a beautiful women, long distance relationship (she lives in italy). I would travel to visit her, went 6x in 2yrs. Took her all over Italy, Rome, Vatican city, Paris, Athens and you know what she would tell me? If I don't do it, someone else will. That would kill me inside because I live 5k miles from her. Travel is time consuming n expensive. But I would do it because I loved her. She worked as an exotic dancer, also worked at a pub with mostly male customers. She would only work jobs with mostly male presence. She loved the attention, complements n the gifts she would get. She then started disappearing for a few days at a time. I asked her plenty of times to change her ways. I told her I would stick by her if she tried to make an effort to get help. She never did. She progressively started to get worst. I finally ghosted her in June and I have gone no contact with her. Do you think she tried looking for me? Nope. She is too busy with her multiple supplies. So this man did what he had to do. Moved on and is doing for him. We cannot love someone that doesn't respect us or can't love us back. If I ever saw my x-narc with another man, I would feel, bad for him. Because it's gonna cost him time, money, patience. And is going to bring him alot of pain, stress, anxiety, depression. Not worth it with these ppl. Run n don't go back.
@@joeoreo2498 I feel your pain!!! But I'm not going back this is a gay relationship she is a butch women and I a fem women you got it wrong!!! But I do agree on one thing yes your right it's not my place to fix her mental issues!!! She would try to isolate me and control me she's morbidly jealous and top of that she has anger issues!!! I left because she didn't want to get help!!! Once again I'm so so sorry what you went thru!!! Yes don't ever answer her back, keep moving foward living your best life!!!
They revalue you if you end things soon after the mask slips and also start doing better after the break up but refuse to give them ANY attention. This only works if you have been a good person yourself during the relationship. They will not value you if you were acting similar to how they act.
I’ve had my eyes opened to someone in my life & I feel like everything has just been a game to them. I’m done playing. Thanks for your videos giving me clarity.
Devastation in their lives’ or they need your energy as supply to boost they E.G.O. There is nothing real about anyone who wears a mask. There must be a benefit for them, but it’s not a genuine revaluation. Their broken consciousness will not allow them to celebrate you in a real way. DON’T EVER GO BACK! They will deepen the wound. It’s brings them joy to see you suffer. Say YES to you!
Now that I am well from being sick, have money, a nice house and have become more independent and am happy he shows back up. They do have radar and you are the target. Keep moving forward! They get more abusive as they age.
I have put on a few pounds, I’ll be back in the gym soon. But he gained weight too. How shallow. Happiest is an inside job. The narcissist can keep on trucking!!
First of all, I love the peaking/peeking clarification 😂 comical and true. I went through this literally this past summer when my covert narcissist ex tried to contact me. I’m glowing, healing, losing weight, and making my money. In the blink of an eye, he went from “I still love you,” to “I can hurt your feelings real easily.” Being a heavy believer in equal opportunity, I gave him a taste of his own medicine, exposed his selfish user ways, protected my peace, took back my life, and he looks miserable. I will separate glitter before I consider giving him a second chance. I’m good, bruh!
@@regiwroteit4987 i am in tears 😂😂😂 but I feel you. That's how I feel about my narc ex. He's still blowing up my phone, and every time he calls me (from different numbers with the same area code as his. And I block EACH AND EVERY ONE TOO.) I really just be disgusted. Like, what was I even thinking dealing with this man ? I'm just happy I didn't waste another ounce of my time on him, and that i walked away when I did. Not only do I feel free and truly at peace, but it's made me love myself even more. Thank God for the lessons and continuous wisdom, but whew Lord, never again!
You validate what my intuition has been telling me about my ex with every video I see. I've been working through getting through this emotional distortion/chaos after being emotionally discarded. I've seen his "only serve my purpose side" and now questioning his "you've changed" personality recently. I saw right through it. LOL! Thank you for posting this video!
Yep they wanna ride on the coattails of your success without having earned any of that for themselves. Not to mention why are they lacking in identity and not having their own goals and instead stealing yours. SMH. 🤦♀️
If you were lucky enough to escape a Narc, and they attempt to come back because they value you again-- Run Forest Run!.... run as far and fast as you can go....my ex, cheated, left me and then stalked me for THREE more years. My narc sibling, tried for 2 years to get me back... & then once a year, usually my birthday- I get something....... both can stay gone. Narcs are void of emotions, they cannot connect to anyone, its all superficial.
My ex of 8+ years cheated on me and now is in a relationship with the girl he cheated on me with. He claimed they said to each other they are soul mates. I blocked him and wish him the best of luck and the chapter is over between us. He deleted me on social media. 3 days later he posted a new display pic of him and his gf. I left him on my social media so it doesn’t look like it phases me. Before he discard me, I took him back and he made a comment prior to discarding me saying that despite all he put me thru, I still came back to him. I wish he could change but he def became a worse person with this new girl, and she even tattoo him. I wish them best of luck, since he is marrying her so she can stay in the country. He basically did everything with her that I use to nag him to do. Funny how life works.
Wow… experiencing similar thing. For the past 2 and 1/2 year worked on being a family bringing our blended family together. Talked about marriage and was looking for houses. But God blocked it. It hurt like hell. He started dating someone at the same church we attended. After 2 months proposed to her and they bought a house. I tried to warn her but she think she better than me and she his person. She has no idea. I feel bad for her.
Let the disrespect be the closure. So it depends on you if you let such people back in your life. Watch their actions and don´t listen to their words...
I thank you for opening up and sharing such important information !!! I am proud of those who are healing and moving forward, post-narc. Stay strong! Know your value!
Yep. My dog just died and the narcissist I have known for 30 years pretended to care so she could talk about her own feelings and ask me if I remember our teen years better than her so she can drudge up more shit that makes her validate her wrecked life.
We've been separated since Feb, I kept going back now it's been 3 weeks and I'm holding strong. I've now realize this person will not change so let me take myself out of this toxic cycle. I'm fr this time
I got back with my narcissistic ex after 4 years of being divorced. I hated the fact that I had hit rock bottom living with him again. I hate that he manipulates my children and feeds them false info of me. I realized last year that he is a narcissistic, but didn’t know much about it. I would love to heal from the trauma.
NO! They Will Never Re-Value You. THEY WILL NEVER TREAT YOU BETTER ONCE THEY DISCARD YOU. They Will Treat You Worse After They Get You Back. Even If You Got Something They Want, Or You Have A Glow Up. They Will Still Treat You Worse Than Before.
My intensely reactive and defensive now exN verbally abused me terribly so often to the point that I told him to get out twice. He went to his female friend’s in law apartment, (harem garage member), telling them I’m “mentally” unstable, damaged, and a chaos monger. Nothing about the horrific things he would say and do that pushed me to my absolute limit of emotional pain, screaming at him to leave. As soon as he saw me getting string and well after a month or two apart, he’d revalue me and love bomb back in and I would let him move back. The final discard this summer was when I finally fell apart totally, god how fully I crumbled, and began using the words “rage-aholic” and “narcissistic abuse.” (Hint: they don’t like when we catch on.) He moved out and told everyone (especially his harem garage of still fawning exes) that I’m absolutely unstable and insane. I feel bad for his flying monkey chicks now. They’re so duped. Wait ‘til he starts dumping the rage he can no longer dump on me, on others. Maybe on them. It has to go somewhere, doesn’t it.
Thank you for your videos. Its helping heal from a narcissist I called my friend who is also my co worker. Im in the discard stage and just found out that their reason was a lie to make me think like I fucked up.
Thank you Lee got the answers I needed. I was a fool and caved in to my narcissistic boss 🤦♀️ so I got to see him everyday. We been broken up since September 27th, this is the longest he’s went without hoovering so pretty sure he’s with the new supply. He’s being “nice” to me 😅
Lee, no joke this may be one of you better if not best pieces. The off the hip wit, depth & ability to tie in was executed very well! Thank you for your content, and for sharing!
Bro you telling the truth I l3ft here 2 yrs ago left atl bought a ticket and left country thought I gave some time for healing come back and walked right back into it
@@victoriajohnson3593My read is they'll leave if your prospects are too promising they'll ditch you. It means they gotta work hard and change. Narcs are easily made jealous but if they can't keep up(in my case, it was being active), they'll give up or try the devalue/hoover switch up my narc did.
They only want you back so they can abuse you some more. Please don't go back. Love yourself enough to protect yourself from all forms of hurt and harm.
They cant take your real value. Anyone that does not have your best interests at heart are for the chop. No contact no options on the table.... no table. Wish them well from the heart and walk. If you go back to a narcissist your not a victim , your a volunteer. Who cares if they see value or not? Boundaries are a great thing to establish going forward and they say success is the best revenge, well that is not the way either. That just feeds into the same patterns and you will visit the same kind of relationships again. just forgive them in time and wish the best for them. Good Video man.
My overweight ex narc's friends told me I would gain weight 🫤. I thought that was the strangest comment. I DID gain weight in the relationship. They must have seen many a victim in a 20 year "friendship" with the narc.
I discarded mine after the 1st day lovebomb after hoovering. The lovebomb was stronger 2nd time around, it scared me so bad. Cuz I know some sh!t was gonna go down 🤦♀️
They definitely can and I'd also watch them like a hawk. I have a family member who would treat me terribly. When I set boundaries and refused to tolerate it. He stopped the crap. I check him every time he attempts to cross a boundary. He still will always try but much less often. I enforce the boundary every time. He hates being embarrassed so he doesn't try me as much.
I let one come back simply out of curiosity how badly that going to turn out. No surprises there. She first tried to guilt trip me by bringing up things I told her how she made me feel and I guess she expected me to apologize without reflecting on that her narc rage was not the most acceptable behavior. Eventually she went Casper on me without even provoking her and she isn't missed for 10 good years... I do wonder what are your views on putting the narc in their place like you would discipline a child.
My narcissistic ex husband left me for some other woman. This woman called my phone. Face timed my phone making fun of me. Cursing me out. Calling me names. While he was in the backgroud hugging her and her friend. To me, she aint done nothing but took out my trash for me. Thank you for taking out the garbage for me jasmine. Im sure it was "worth the effort". 😅😅😅😅😅 Freedom never felt so good!!
I own free space in their head. Their soul is connected to mine for life times. I forgave now they are waking up to our spiritual/soul connection and are seeking answers. Just doing what God told me to do. Can only laugh about the human narc/empath relationship because it is not what people have been programmed to beLIEve. Higher powers run this world not humans. They can not win as LOVE is the greatest power next to true knowledge on this planet. Best to all healing to become aware from within themselves to what is truely happening without on this planet.
Some people do not get better. My narcissistic wife committed adultery with a man she was with 11 years ago. We was together for 11 years and married for 2 years.
That was my experience, it was worse. I thought he got help and got better since he had been with his 4TH WIFE for over 14 years. But nope he was same or worse. I actually feel bad for her after all those years with him,
Well it's like getting rid of a toy your kid hasn't touched in years and forgot it exists. Like their play kitchen...Then you go to donate it and suddenly they throw a fit because they NEED THEIR PLAY KITCHEN! NO OTHER 2 YEAR-OLD'S PUDDING-COVERED HANDS WITH STICKY GUMMY BEAR RESIDUE AND DOG HAIR WILL BE ALLOWED TO GO NEAR THEIR DAMN KITCHEN! 😂
He was soooo sneaky! In the end I told him he‘s a full fledged narcissist and sent him articles about it. What did he do? He picked up all the info about the psychodynamics and said: I m so vulnerable! I m a victim! I m traumatized…and so on. Took it just to manipulate even more recklessly. Well I threw him out and mortyfied him so he avoids me like the plague. Lucky me 😝
Yep he thought he was going to get $10k. Then $3k. Then buy a truck.. then co-sign on a bobcat for his business then he literally sat on his couch and told me “you are going to be paying for a motorcycle.” I thought he’ll no I’m not 🤣. That’s all I was ever good for. Fuck that. He can chase his ex wife while she goes and gets pregnant by a different guy. ✌️
The narc has to see themselves and fall on the rock and be broken. I know all things are possible with God , but first you have to realize you are flawed. Good luck
They try to come back after seeing how strong you are without them. Not because they care. They only want to disrupt your progress. Theyre petty and envious people
See that now 😮😢
@@JayS-w9w this part!!
I agree
Demons are demons forever; and will never change, period!
@@rickyrobertson1851Never. They create drama for you and expect you to apologize and ask for THEIR forgiveness 😂
They don't "revalue" the person. They NEVER valued the person. they miss the supply and validation from you that they were receiving and couldn't replace.
💯
They revalue all the things you and only you can give. The familiarity.
Ty 🙏🏽
When I take the Trash out , the Trash stays outside , I don't take the Trash back into the House !!!
This.
@@Lunidot1 YOU GOT THAT RIGHT! STAY OUT IF MY LIFE, YOU PIECE OF
_ _ _ _!!! I NOW HAVE NOTHING BUT HATRED FOR HER EVIL BLACK SOUL!!!!
He’s more worthless than dogshit. She can have him
Wow ! That was cruel but they deserve that ....
It's not about what the narcissist wants, it's you that is important, set very hard boundaries
🙏
Well i dont think a narcissistic parasite can ever discard anyone. Its the other way round. People try to get them out of their lives. And if there is an exceptional case where the narcissist does discard somebody ,it would be time to run away as fast as possible and celebrate. Nobody is going to be sad.
@PriyaK-cu1fz "Nobody is going to be sad." Think about the impact of that statement..... Imagine making soooo many people miserable, on purpose. They actually find pleasure in doing so.
It’s all they do. I have said this before,”I had to become so many personalities just to survive his freak show! He hurt me, he hurt our children!
When my estranged husband was dying, he wanted to come live with me because his own family kicked him out. I said NO. He died alone (and sedated) in hospice facility. Sad but I chose to protect me and my kids because I know he didn’t and couldn’t change. 🤷🏻♀️
My former friend called me on my birthday. I didn't answer, and then she sent an email saying that I was horrible to not answer, when she had stage 4 cancer. (like I could know that) I still didn't answer her. You were smart to not let him back.
@@peneljsmithshe deserved every second of Karma.
@@mamashiraz Imagine the ordasity to want to come back so you could be his nurse. These people are sooooo disturbing and selfish. Good for you. I'll bet you breathed a sigh of relief when he passed. It was the end of a horrible era.
@mamashiraz I have to say, that recently I have also thought to let my ex die alone (if he ever dared to reach out). I would also chose to protect myself. ❤ I guess that they reap what they sow!
The best thing you could have done! Much respect for making that hard decision.
You couldn't have said it more perfectly. They are agents of chaos and they always come back right when you're doing well and moving on
🙌🏾🙌🏾
@@bobbiemichaelsNyc86 NOT HERE! NEVER EVER AGAIN, WILL SHE PUT HER DEMONIC COLD HEARTED HANDS ON MY HEART , PERIOD! HEALED TO NEVER ALLOW SATAN’S DEMONS TO BE NO WHERE CLOSE TO ME AGAIN.
Listen folks, I realize that we once loved these folks but we need to realize they are suffering from an illness that does NOT allow them to value you. You are looking for them to love you because you don't value yourself. Live your life. Stop looking for this person to do anything to or for you. Blessings to you and yours in your new life.
💯
Love this!🎯
Demons never change. Evil for ever! Move on to someone who will love you for who you are and deserve to be treated with real love.
Big up thank u
You’d be lucky if it’s really over.
💯
This!!😂
2 years and nothing. It's really over. I was just a placeholder until something better came along, but I walked away before he secured the other person.
@@shannonbishop7785 his rejection is your protection…sounds like a celebration to me🎉
Truth!
So here’s deal….I WILL NEVER VALUE HIM AGAIN. So, a re-value from him is a joke and a lie…..
Best comment!! ❤
My husband tried to have me sanctioned; I was taken from my home by the police to the hospital to have a phyc evaluation; while I was there, he took out an AVO so I could not return to my home. There had been no argument at the time, no reason to be removed. I still do not know what was said for me to be taken from my home by the police. I lost my home and my children. I think he had been planning for a very long time to get rid of me. Now he wants to get remarried. Not a chance!!
Yes we have to re wits our brains to think just this! Absolutely ☀️
This👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽
THISSSSS
This is so true. I got sucked back in this past February. It looked different than before. Sneakier. I’m not mad at him. Mad at me
Stay strong
Same. I’m mad at myself. Married him had a career and children 4. Worst mistake of my life
@@BackpackKid_ same sis
You may go back to them multiple times for you to figure it out. Don't feel bad because these people know what to say and do and they throw out what I call crumbs of hope. I did it multiple times. I kept forgiving but one day I didn't fall for tricks. All they do is be and say what they know you want to hear and when they got you they turn on you Again. Don't feel bad many of us return with false hopes
@@lisasmith8856thankyou xxxxxx❤
The timing of this is crazy! My narc ex just started dating the girl he told me not to worry about for the last 5 years lol
That's terrible. I'm sorry if you're hurting. Remember that you are set free, not discarded. Best to you and all who learned hard lessons from narcissist
Oh they brutal don’t look back or get your lic back period
I'm waiting for the day that my narcissist comes back so I can tell him NO. I just hope that when the time comes, I'm strong enough for it.
They always come back allllwwaaayyyssssss. Stay strong and block
@@365cmcWe’ve got to guard our hearts and souls from the demons of this world acting like they’ve changed. Demons never change, NEVER!
Amma do mines dirty watch
@@365cmc He discarded me second time. Will he come back again?
They don’t come back don’t worry
They will never change ..Ever !
Demons are Demons forever. This person, told me that she would never apologize or feel any sympathy for how she abused me.
4:06 yessss exactly. Now that my ex husband sees the grass ain’t greener now it’s ’I love you.’ and ‘you’re my wife’ blah blah blah. It’s gross honestly because no thank you!
it's important to prioritize your well-being and focus on your own growth rather than hoping for a toxic individual like a narcissist to change. Remember, you deserve love and respect without having to constantly seek validation from someone who may not value you the way you deserve.
Absolute truth!! Every single time I started to heal and felt better, he came back around! I had no idea about narcissism back then. I just knew I missed him and was hopeful things would be different. He had some great apologies and seemed so sincere. It happened over and over for so many years until I realized what was happening and knew I had to break away. It’s been a year and 2 months of limited contact and I am so proud of myself for not going back! I take it day by day because I know it’s easy to get sucked back in that cycle if you’re not careful. Even when you don’t want to go back, you can if you’re not continuing your healing journey. Happened to me so many times, but I’m determined this time. Thank you, Lee!!!! It’s really because of your videos that opened my eyes in 2021 to what I was dealing with. I didn’t want to believe you and still made excuses and went back countless times, but I finally got it!!! 💪
Nope. You can forgive but I will never forget how I was treated 🗑
He called me 3 to 4 times a day in August for 3 weeks i finally answered and his soul found peace... it's crazy how they are so text book.. once you understand them you will never go back...
They also re-value you when they do something and you finally had enough, to the point where they know they're losing you... They start doing what they did at the beginning of the relationship...
@@crosbyllc5426 It’s not re-valuing though, it’s pretending to value you in order to use you.
@@cupcake0480 There's no difference because they plan to use you either way...
Spoke my life .. I say it's sad he leaves enough line then when I'm gone moving on he reels me back in .. hook line and sink... ( I was blind. Embarrassed to say that) I pray can move on fully from his games.. I moved away and distanced myself.. pray for others who are going through that tough time.. alone .. growing within .. it will get better! Thank you for explaining and making videos.. 🙏🏽
Oh myy god, I dumped my ex a couple of years ago, I was in a horrific dark place by the end of the relationship. Time passed and we ended up gradually becoming really good friends (or so I thought) I quit drinking and got a new boyfriend. The relationship with the new guy wasn't toxic at all, but we were long distance and it kinda of just fizzled out ....but I was feeling good about myself, lost weight, felt confident.
My ex truly made me believe he'd changed. He would talk to me and listen, he seemed open and honest. I really trusted him. We started seeing eachother again a few months ago and I am RIGHT BACK WHERE I WAS BACK THEN! and he makes out like I'm crazy. I'm done with it now though!!! That switch in my brain has flipped once again. No romantic feelings towards him now. I FEEL FREE. I hope he doesn't try it again..... Haha
It is you who has to get a hold of yourself. . . When you say you hope he doesn't try it again , it's like you are powerless , at his mercy . It's you to say no .
I hope you ,you don't try again
Your so right!!! The reason she keeps love bombing me is she's hoping I'll come back!!! Why? Because no one else is going to deal with her and her mental issues!!! Of course she went off on me because I'm done ng very well with out and she said I was selfish only thinking of my self!!! It's been a rough 4 yrs trying to get her out of my life , she didn't want to get help So I'm gone and wether she does or not I'm DONE!!! Yes that's exactly it she sees me living my best life and she's not a part of it!!! I love my life and I will never ever let her in again!!! I'm in therapy I'm healing for all the mental and physical abuse!!! I want no part of her!!! Her life is going nowhere still homeless, jobless, lying and scheming, and roaming the streets with the other losers like her!!! Unless this women ever gets help and really really looks at her life she'll never get out of the streets!!! And that's it I keep ignoring the voicemails and keep moving forward and living my best life!!! I'm never looking or going back!!! Im so so DONE
What would you say if you saw her with a new man and she changed . What if the problem was you and her new man gets her.
@@maryrios6529you don't get this whole npd thing. If she seemed to change for someone else, then it's an act that we've all had, it doesn't last.
Give it time.
@@maryrios6529 you don't get this is a gay relationship she's a butch lesbian!!! Im fem, I'm not saying I don't love her I do but she needs help!!!
@maryrios6529 you are wrong for asking that question. We are not here to fix ppl. We are not responsible for childhood trauma. If he has offered to help her in the past and declined the offer, he did right by moving on. I am in the same boat, I dated a beautiful women, long distance relationship (she lives in italy). I would travel to visit her, went 6x in 2yrs. Took her all over Italy, Rome, Vatican city, Paris, Athens and you know what she would tell me? If I don't do it, someone else will. That would kill me inside because I live 5k miles from her. Travel is time consuming n expensive. But I would do it because I loved her. She worked as an exotic dancer, also worked at a pub with mostly male customers. She would only work jobs with mostly male presence. She loved the attention, complements n the gifts she would get. She then started disappearing for a few days at a time. I asked her plenty of times to change her ways. I told her I would stick by her if she tried to make an effort to get help. She never did. She progressively started to get worst. I finally ghosted her in June and I have gone no contact with her. Do you think she tried looking for me? Nope. She is too busy with her multiple supplies. So this man did what he had to do. Moved on and is doing for him. We cannot love someone that doesn't respect us or can't love us back. If I ever saw my x-narc with another man, I would feel, bad for him. Because it's gonna cost him time, money, patience. And is going to bring him alot of pain, stress, anxiety, depression. Not worth it with these ppl. Run n don't go back.
@@joeoreo2498 I feel your pain!!! But I'm not going back this is a gay relationship she is a butch women and I a fem women you got it wrong!!! But I do agree on one thing yes your right it's not my place to fix her mental issues!!! She would try to isolate me and control me she's morbidly jealous and top of that she has anger issues!!! I left because she didn't want to get help!!! Once again I'm so so sorry what you went thru!!! Yes don't ever answer her back, keep moving foward living your best life!!!
They miss the energy that they were getting from you even if it was a call or text every now and then
Exactly. They appear to have changed, but in an instant, they take you back to the toxicity.
They revalue you if you end things soon after the mask slips and also start doing better after the break up but refuse to give them ANY attention. This only works if you have been a good person yourself during the relationship. They will not value you if you were acting similar to how they act.
I’ve had my eyes opened to someone in my life & I feel like everything has just been a game to them. I’m done playing. Thanks for your videos giving me clarity.
The devil don't bargain😢❤❤❤
Once you know who they are you can’t undo it. They are repulsive. Won’t see me peek because I don’t do social media
Thank you Lee
You’re welcome
They can't revalue you when they never had value for you in the first place.
Devastation in their lives’ or they need your energy as supply to boost they E.G.O.
There is nothing real about anyone who wears a mask. There must be a benefit for them, but it’s not a genuine revaluation. Their broken consciousness will not allow them to celebrate you in a real way.
DON’T EVER GO BACK!
They will deepen the wound. It’s brings them joy to see you suffer. Say YES to you!
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Now that I am well from being sick, have money, a nice house and have become more independent and am happy he shows back up. They do have radar and you are the target. Keep moving forward! They get more abusive as they age.
2:47 Not my 2 year old yelling boom welcome back! 😵💫😂 Let me watch later
😂
😂😂😂😂
Too funny 🤣😅
I have put on a few pounds, I’ll be back in the gym soon. But he gained weight too. How shallow. Happiest is an inside job. The narcissist can keep on trucking!!
First of all, I love the peaking/peeking clarification 😂 comical and true. I went through this literally this past summer when my covert narcissist ex tried to contact me. I’m glowing, healing, losing weight, and making my money. In the blink of an eye, he went from “I still love you,” to “I can hurt your feelings real easily.” Being a heavy believer in equal opportunity, I gave him a taste of his own medicine, exposed his selfish user ways, protected my peace, took back my life, and he looks miserable. I will separate glitter before I consider giving him a second chance. I’m good, bruh!
Not separate glitter 😆
@@jerica5425 from the rhombus to the trapezoid 🤣🤣🤣
Separating glitter is diabolical 😂
@@Gloweysworld51 I got more. I will boil a pound of grits by the grain 🤣🤣🤣
@@regiwroteit4987 i am in tears 😂😂😂 but I feel you. That's how I feel about my narc ex. He's still blowing up my phone, and every time he calls me (from different numbers with the same area code as his. And I block EACH AND EVERY ONE TOO.) I really just be disgusted. Like, what was I even thinking dealing with this man ? I'm just happy I didn't waste another ounce of my time on him, and that i walked away when I did. Not only do I feel free and truly at peace, but it's made me love myself even more. Thank God for the lessons and continuous wisdom, but whew Lord, never again!
You validate what my intuition has been telling me about my ex with every video I see.
I've been working through getting through this emotional distortion/chaos after being emotionally discarded.
I've seen his "only serve my purpose side" and now questioning his "you've changed" personality recently.
I saw right through it. LOL!
Thank you for posting this video!
short answer no. if you've recently gained something, they may try to gain it for themselves.
🤨
Yep they wanna ride on the coattails of your success without having earned any of that for themselves. Not to mention why are they lacking in identity and not having their own goals and instead stealing yours. SMH. 🤦♀️
True! Interesting! I bought a house then a month later he bought his home. lol..
@@chozart88 yes! I noticed that too.
Your life has gotten better that’s the best way to put it
If they need supply, yes.
If you were lucky enough to escape a Narc, and they attempt to come back because they value you again-- Run Forest Run!.... run as far and fast as you can go....my ex, cheated, left me and then stalked me for THREE more years. My narc sibling, tried for 2 years to get me back... & then once a year, usually my birthday- I get something....... both can stay gone. Narcs are void of emotions, they cannot connect to anyone, its all superficial.
🙏🏽🙌🏾
They're not void of emotions, they just have the wrong ones and act upon them irrationally.
He can peek at this middle finger during my peak. 😂😂😂
😂
@@sarahd6937 🤣💪😜
GREAT. PERFECT. Let the narc go elsewhere. I'm done.
I DO NOT WANT HIM TO REVALUE ME, EVEEEERRRR
Mine always needed a place to stay.
😶
Don't do most of them? 🙈
Free housing, free food, free sex!
@@Analysis_Paralysis free everything, free jail, too.
Hobosexuals…..😂😂😂
You value YOU! F the Narc!
My ex of 8+ years cheated on me and now is in a relationship with the girl he cheated on me with. He claimed they said to each other they are soul mates. I blocked him and wish him the best of luck and the chapter is over between us. He deleted me on social media. 3 days later he posted a new display pic of him and his gf. I left him on my social media so it doesn’t look like it phases me. Before he discard me, I took him back and he made a comment prior to discarding me saying that despite all he put me thru, I still came back to him. I wish he could change but he def became a worse person with this new girl, and she even tattoo him. I wish them best of luck, since he is marrying her so she can stay in the country. He basically did everything with her that I use to nag him to do. Funny how life works.
🙏🏽🙏🏽
Wow… experiencing similar thing. For the past 2 and 1/2 year worked on being a family bringing our blended family together. Talked about marriage and was looking for houses. But God blocked it. It hurt like hell. He started dating someone at the same church we attended. After 2 months proposed to her and they bought a house. I tried to warn her but she think she better than me and she his person. She has no idea. I feel bad for her.
I think they'll say sorry, and other apologizing words, in exchange of more abuse once they saw you, you're okay.😂🎉
😆
Let the disrespect be the closure. So it depends on you if you let such people back in your life. Watch their actions and don´t listen to their words...
I thank you for opening up and sharing such important information !!! I am proud of those who are healing and moving forward, post-narc.
Stay strong! Know your value!
Yep. My dog just died and the narcissist I have known for 30 years pretended to care so she could talk about her own feelings and ask me if I remember our teen years better than her so she can drudge up more shit that makes her validate her wrecked life.
I really needed this reminder, thanks Lee 🙏🏾 !
You are so welcome
We've been separated since Feb, I kept going back now it's been 3 weeks and I'm holding strong. I've now realize this person will not change so let me take myself out of this toxic cycle. I'm fr this time
💯
I got back with my narcissistic ex after 4 years of being divorced. I hated the fact that I had hit rock bottom living with him again. I hate that he manipulates my children and feeds them false info of me. I realized last year that he is a narcissistic, but didn’t know much about it. I would love to heal from the trauma.
NO!
They Will Never Re-Value You.
THEY WILL NEVER TREAT YOU BETTER ONCE THEY DISCARD YOU.
They Will Treat You Worse After They Get You Back.
Even If You Got Something They Want, Or You Have A Glow Up.
They Will Still Treat You Worse Than Before.
“Cheeks good” is wild 💀😝
😂😂😂
My intensely reactive and defensive now exN verbally abused me terribly so often to the point that I told him to get out twice. He went to his female friend’s in law apartment, (harem garage member), telling them I’m “mentally” unstable, damaged, and a chaos monger. Nothing about the horrific things he would say and do that pushed me to my absolute limit of emotional pain, screaming at him to leave. As soon as he saw me getting string and well after a month or two apart, he’d revalue me and love bomb back in and I would let him move back. The final discard this summer was when I finally fell apart totally, god how fully I crumbled, and began using the words “rage-aholic” and “narcissistic abuse.” (Hint: they don’t like when we catch on.) He moved out and told everyone (especially his harem garage of still fawning exes) that I’m absolutely unstable and insane. I feel bad for his flying monkey chicks now. They’re so duped. Wait ‘til he starts dumping the rage he can no longer dump on me, on others. Maybe on them. It has to go somewhere, doesn’t it.
Thank you for your videos. Its helping heal from a narcissist I called my friend who is also my co worker. Im in the discard stage and just found out that their reason was a lie to make me think like I fucked up.
What Lee says is true. I have experienced it firsthand three different times and this time there is no going back
I Love these videos keep on making them .
Thank you Lee got the answers I needed. I was a fool and caved in to my narcissistic boss 🤦♀️ so I got to see him everyday. We been broken up since September 27th, this is the longest he’s went without hoovering so pretty sure he’s with the new supply. He’s being “nice” to me 😅
😅
Yes! That creature thought 3 times already since 2021 that time fixes it and that he could lure me back. Never!
Lee, no joke this may be one of you better if not best pieces. The off the hip wit, depth & ability to tie in was executed very well! Thank you for your content, and for sharing!
Those 7 stages are very specific and so real! Is can happen quick or slow so be on the look out!
Bro you telling the truth I l3ft here 2 yrs ago left atl bought a ticket and left country thought I gave some time for healing come back and walked right back into it
I’m in the revalue stage right now with 2 narcissists. It was 3 but one has dropped off after he realized I wasn’t falling for it.
You have helped me heal Lee. Thank you!
The narc never permanently leaves a beautiful empath, the empath has to discard the narc then the hovers never stop
You’d be surprised. Looks will get you left
@@MentalHealness you mean if the empath is ugly?
@@victoriajohnson3593My read is they'll leave if your prospects are too promising they'll ditch you. It means they gotta work hard and change. Narcs are easily made jealous but if they can't keep up(in my case, it was being active), they'll give up or try the devalue/hoover switch up my narc did.
@@CatzBellthis is so true and he litterally verbally told me this
@@MentalHealness and hovered again
They only want you back so they can abuse you some more. Please don't go back. Love yourself enough to protect yourself from all forms of hurt and harm.
He came after discard as if nothing happened I told him to stay away then he confused me with his stares and reactions at our workplace.
🤯
Keep ignoring him. Do not give him attention.
They cant take your real value. Anyone that does not have your best interests at heart are for the chop. No contact no options on the table.... no table. Wish them well from the heart and walk. If you go back to a narcissist your not a victim , your a volunteer. Who cares if they see value or not? Boundaries are a great thing to establish going forward and they say success is the best revenge, well that is not the way either. That just feeds into the same patterns and you will visit the same kind of relationships again. just forgive them in time and wish the best for them. Good Video man.
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Beautiful!!! This one is going on the Altar at my church!
What are your thoughts on narcissists & how they see 'cuffing season' ie, short term throw away relationships?
Video is 💯💯💯💯 stay out the sunken place if you make it out remember what it took for you gain your mental and emotional stability back
🙌🏾 you got this
I’ve never had such a glow up in my life mentally and then he came back got me pregnant and discarded me
Im sorry :( be strong.
My overweight ex narc's friends told me I would gain weight 🫤. I thought that was the strangest comment. I DID gain weight in the relationship. They must have seen many a victim in a 20 year "friendship" with the narc.
Lee Please do a video on mortification of the narcissist to see why they don't come back. 🙏
🙏🏽
@@MentalHealnessplease do
I discarded mine after the 1st day lovebomb after hoovering. The lovebomb was stronger 2nd time around, it scared me so bad. Cuz I know some sh!t was gonna go down 🤦♀️
Chile im never going back i told him that when he told me he's found someone better then me im standing 10 toes down on that 🤪
They definitely can and I'd also watch them like a hawk. I have a family member who would treat me terribly. When I set boundaries and refused to tolerate it. He stopped the crap. I check him every time he attempts to cross a boundary. He still will always try but much less often. I enforce the boundary every time. He hates being embarrassed so he doesn't try me as much.
I am so happy and grateful he is out of my life! I love that he had no idea that I was going to ghost him! 😊
😊
I let one come back simply out of curiosity how badly that going to turn out. No surprises there. She first tried to guilt trip me by bringing up things I told her how she made me feel and I guess she expected me to apologize without reflecting on that her narc rage was not the most acceptable behavior. Eventually she went Casper on me without even provoking her and she isn't missed for 10 good years...
I do wonder what are your views on putting the narc in their place like you would discipline a child.
Yep or something amazing is going on in your life they want in on that too just crazy
😥
That was what i needed today. Thank you sooooo much for helping me out of the quagmire. Much respect! 👏👏👏👏
Glad I could help!
A “HOW ARE YOU”, OUT OF THE BLUE. DON’T FALL FOR IT.
My narcissistic ex husband left me for some other woman. This woman called my phone. Face timed my phone making fun of me. Cursing me out. Calling me names. While he was in the backgroud hugging her and her friend. To me, she aint done nothing but took out my trash for me. Thank you for taking out the garbage for me jasmine. Im sure it was "worth the effort". 😅😅😅😅😅 Freedom never felt so good!!
thank you, Lee! Love the way you convey the ideas! :-)
But narcissists don't attach emotionally, do they? It's all about supply.
I own free space in their head. Their soul is connected to mine for life times. I forgave now they are waking up to our spiritual/soul connection and are seeking answers. Just doing what God told me to do. Can only laugh about the human narc/empath relationship because it is not what people have been programmed to beLIEve. Higher powers run this world not humans. They can not win as LOVE is the greatest power next to true knowledge on this planet. Best to all healing to become aware from within themselves to what is truely happening without on this planet.
In my experience no. It gets worse.
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Some people do not get better. My narcissistic wife committed adultery with a man she was with 11 years ago. We was together for 11 years and married for 2 years.
😫😫 hate to hear that
That was my experience, it was worse. I thought he got help and got better since he had been with his 4TH WIFE for over 14 years. But nope he was same or worse. I actually feel bad for her after all those years with him,
When you displace your growth/value into their hands when they transfer the value into something they can give you, then they can take it away too.
Well it's like getting rid of a toy your kid hasn't touched in years and forgot it exists. Like their play kitchen...Then you go to donate it and suddenly they throw a fit because they NEED THEIR PLAY KITCHEN! NO OTHER 2 YEAR-OLD'S PUDDING-COVERED HANDS WITH STICKY GUMMY BEAR RESIDUE AND DOG HAIR WILL BE ALLOWED TO GO NEAR THEIR DAMN KITCHEN! 😂
Loving your honesty 👏
More time they get worse 😢
That’s how it goes
Always write your quick thoughts people, it is a new revelation.
Absolutely 💯 💯 excellent video. It seemed like everytime i got back up on cloud nine the narcs start circling
the man called me batshit crazy before I was ..I shoved him the difference
He was soooo sneaky! In the end I told him he‘s a full fledged narcissist and sent him articles about it. What did he do? He picked up all the info about the psychodynamics and said: I m so vulnerable! I m a victim! I m traumatized…and so on. Took it just to manipulate even more recklessly. Well I threw him out and mortyfied him so he avoids me like the plague. Lucky me 😝
😅😅
How can they keep track of you?
I blocked him and mutual friends on all social platforms.
Yep he thought he was going to get $10k. Then $3k. Then buy a truck.. then co-sign on a bobcat for his business then he literally sat on his couch and told me “you are going to be paying for a motorcycle.” I thought he’ll no I’m not 🤣. That’s all I was ever good for. Fuck that. He can chase his ex wife while she goes and gets pregnant by a different guy. ✌️
😫🙏🏽🙏🏽
The only solution to narcissism is God. Receiving God's love so much until the heart melts back to normal
The narc has to see themselves and fall on the rock and be broken. I know all things are possible with God , but first you have to realize you are flawed. Good luck
@@misskay-zs2ow i love God but ignorance is not bliss in my opinion.