@@MentalHealness It’s a never ending cycle with narcissists. I just “broke up” with my boyfriend in February and we were supposed to be no contact until he or I reach out to resolve two specific ties that we have together. I kept up my end of the bargain, I did not call him AT ALL, but he didn’t keep his word. He called me everyday to “discuss” the decision of the break up and what our future plans would be without each other. Needless to say, we only broke up for a few days because this dude just won’t let me have my peace and happiness without him. We’re even back having sex with each other, sex that I don’t want because I wanted to be celibate and draw closer to the Lord, but this dude doesn’t care about none of that. It’s like we never broke up. He’s possessive and manipulative. I don’t know what to do
Yes, they wanted to hurt and punish you. Got a feeling he wants me to chase or contact him again but, I am just not sure, since he already went silent and left me on 'read'. Don't know if he would do it again, but he did not block me though.
Don't fall for the reverse hoover. Fall to your knees and thank God they have gone no contact and you keep no contact for yourself! Don't play their sick and twisted games. You aren't missing anything but more wicked abuse.
Ugh... Woulda, coulda, shoulda. I thought it would be too hard to raise my kids without him. I wish I had been stronger & wiser when he left...I shoulda changed the lock & key. Don't doubt yourself, you will get through it! Just let him/her leave. Let their decision STICK.
It took everything in me to leave her, i was terrified and she was cruel and laughed at me like i couldn't possibly be serious...now two or 3 yrs later she pops up messaging me like a few days ago and it triggered my fight or flight response, i dont even know what to do..i dont know why im saying this here but i have no one else
Yes! And every time we’d fight after and I’d try to leave I’d get the “go ahead and run away like you always do and like everyone else has!” I’d feel sorry for him and convince myself I would be the one to fix him… I would be the one who finally showed him true love and we would live happily ever after. Shew… it’s a nightmare. I’m so glad I got out of it. It’s hard for me to date now though because of how in the beginning he was so perfect but thru the course of 2 years he turned out to be so toxic!? I see a red flag now and run immediately so fast in the other direction
@@a10ecgirl72 Same here, thought I could help his sorry soul with love, but he just wanted to be fake and manipulate. Ignored all the red flags, was in denial.
I love when they get mad as fuck when you don't go back. They love to feel wanted. Of course, sometimes they rage even more when they realize you're not coming crawling back to their sorry asses.
That’s the actual truth they just do it to lure you it’s not gonna work because I can’t stand him so block or no block I could care less about him anymore that’s like me saying lucifer I miss you ! NOPE
So true and that why I close the door permanently because no human being on earth wants to be abuse not even a dog or a cat for that matter for christ sake amen...
This is exactly what my ex’s adult daughter told me! His shame wouldn’t allow him to call me. Fine by me! Been free and at peace almost 2 years now. He cheated on the woman he cheated on me with and now he’s making his way through his adult children’s mothers. They’re crazy to think he’ll be better with them since they both left him for other men over 20 years ago. 😮
@@MentalHealnessmy God I needed this it explains a lot about my behavior with the narcissist and the narcissist behavior I thought you was full of BS but this has truly open my eye's 👀 to both side's
Hey, if they go no contact, that is the best thing that could happen. Its not about winning or losing, or any hope for a turn around. Your life with a narcissist may have had its good times, I'm sure it did, that is how they hook you. But in the end, you know it was not a good thing, the things they said and did to you, were not ok. You are better off with out them, but you have to be strong enough to accept that, and take this opportunity to move on. You know damn well they moved on, and the worst part is they moved on while you were still suposedly a couple. So dont look backwards unless you plan on going that way.
I think the majority of people who watch these videos didn't deal with actual narcissists or personality disordered people. They just need to make themselves feel better, so they call their ex a narcissist.
@robpz448 Yes. I cried tears of happiness when the narcissist in my life finally stopped contact. And the smear campaign. And wrangling the flying monkeys, etc... I was just so happy they were gone!!
I can't even comprehend the thinking behind someone who cares what a narcissist is doing once they leave or you leave. If they were with a true narcissist, they would be too happy celebrating this new found peace to even care.
Mine went "no-contact" after assaulting me. They focused all their energy on the smear campaign. I focused on pressing charges. A year later, guess who was found guilty and has a mugshot?
This is what I’m learning to do all over again🤦🏾♀️ My ex husband popped BACK up again 😂, and tbh I didn’t really trust him anyway? But, just listened to his drivel, and maybe I listened too much. I learned however, that he has not changed after he suckered me in. But my head knew, he hadn’t changed. My heart however, wanted to believe him, but knew this wouldn’t be as straightforward as it seemed. Love is not meant to hurt, but these people WILL hurt you over n over n over again if you let them. I have learned that the hard way, but it’s fine😊! He can no contact me again for me now🤣🤣, allows me breathing space and to reconnect back with my damn self again! And learn to love me more than him.💪🏾💪🏾
I have a narcissistic ex cousin who went no contact after I caught her manipulating our grandfather to steal money from me, my siblings, and other cousins. After getting busted, she tried to gaslight me. Honestly, I couldn't care less if we never speak again.
What an awful way to do someone … up and leave , block you in every single way , and them move on with someone new ….ive never been done so dirty in my life
@@dicerevo I been trying to , it’s just a mind fuck when you love someone and they do everything possible to make you hate them … that’s one spectrum all the way to the other side of the spectrum and no in between or any kind of half way
My ex final discarded me because I exposed him..... To himself. I NEVER called him by what he is, but I stopped playing his game. I told him it's ALWAYS been about him and NO ONE else.... And now he hates me.
main also left me hates me and stay no contact with me cus he knows what I think of him I told him he is narc manipulator not trust worthy fake so he dumbed me but .. I have feeling for this loser so 13 months am still crying and isolated myself I feel unworthy..
Yup went through the same... they kept me blocked on whatsapp through the whole time we were last back together ( so I probably wouldn't see the strange times he was online picking up new supply) , but now after he discarded me he has unblocked me. I'm keeping his ass blocked 🚫
Yess I called him an emotionally abusive narcissist He couldn’t survive it… Smear campaign is in place, he sues me in court for alleged stalking … Calls me crazy …
I was cracking up when he mailed a pair of new shoes for himself to my house . I was perplexed. I didn’t know that it was called a reversed hoover . All I knew was that I wasn’t going to reach out to him EVER AGAIN… I wrote on the package… RTS, NO LONGER LIVES HERE!! & stop putting his packages on my property… thank you!!! I was so proud of myself for not falling into his trap which I now found out later , it’s called a reversed hoover.
This is what I’ve learned about the new supply, they can’t make it work with them either. Mine’s had two already. Lol 😆 don’t worry about them. Move on.
@princhipessa1969 I've been dealing with a narcissist for 10 years (we share a daughter together) and I'm 2 weeks into my healing process and I've gone completely no contact unless it's about my daughter and even with certain situations I will not respond at all. I feel so foolish ignoring all the red flags and thinking I could help this person or believing she loved me. She's currently seeking new supply from her nieces father. Yes, her sisters bd and it just blows my mind I could literally go on for days about the terrible things she's said and done, but I've released all that stress and pain.
If you get blocked they have done the heavy lifting for you. Leave it alone at this point and 9 times out of 10 they will be back...don't think they forgot about you...far from it. If they are allowed back in they will be MORE evil that before.
It’s because they’ve either “disengaged” for the time being or shelved you. Whether it’s exposure, shame, you being hard to control, or quality and frequency of your supply/fuel. Narcissists always return. In their mind, you belong to them and are their property. A household appliance.
Yes!! He thought I was weak!!! HE KNEW IT WAS OVER BECAUSE I WASN'T HAVING THAT CHID BEHAVIOR!! I HIM YOU NEED GOD TO YOU WITH YOUR DEMONS!!! THAT GOD I was strong!! 52 just realized what a narcissist is about your ago!! I KEPT SOMETHING IS NOT WITH HIM😁!! I KNEW WASN'T ME!!!!
Same, he knows I 'know', what really happened. He got shamed by accident, in regards to an SM post I made that he deleted, and I sort of caught him, (again) he was shocked two fold, how I know things, he was just lost power and control in one swoop. I left a nice message left on read, he was so messed up, cannot respond, been over 2 months.
I just told the truth in a post about him, this invoked rage and discard. I was going to delete it, but he did it for me. I did not mean any harm, bizarre
@@janebraun4482 I guess the truth hurts huh? Hugs to you. I hope you get your devices checked for spyware/ parental monitoring software. If he had any access to them, because that's what mine is doing to me. Stalking me with my phone and spying on me.
After 5 -6 years i finally went no contact. Blocked him from media and phone. In these years I have not been encouraged or told I'm a good person or listened to. This healing is the worse feeling ever n I'm not sure where to go from here. But I have to keep going because my son is so happy.
When my narcissist is not hoovering it’s simply because he has found new supply. When/if his new supply doesn’t work out- then he comes back and begins the hoovering again.
The narcissist does not give you value, you have value all on your own. If they block you, it does not affect your value, you are still just as valuable. Honor yourself, your choices, and your value. ❤
I remember my narc ex telling me ALL the time how loyal she is, loyalty is her best attribute etc. She then proceeded to stab me in the back and discard like I was nothing. She went ghost and blocked me everywhere and got on dating apps the same week. Stung like hell but I have so much dignity and self respect, I never pursued once.
Frrr but I would i def say they have no clue what the hell it is. I mean I do! But these ppl don’t. I spoke to my Nex about some thing simaior being karmics which is two ppl who enter eachothers life to learn something. They didn’t know what it was so
What happens if a narcissist goes no contact? Thank your lucky stars , hope and pray to God that it stays that way for the rest of your life. Do not accept any hoovers, do not even acknowledge if they tell you hello. Ignore any attempts that they make. Never contact them again and never acknowledge any attempt of them contacting you.
When that happens, best believe they are tearing your name apart. They will lie or do anything to destroy your name because you won't do what they want you to do.
The narc blocked me first, before I knew about the block/unblock game. I don't know when she unblocked me.. it was about a year later she liked a photo of my dog, which I tagged the foster from whom we rescued the dogs. I ignored the like... still not realizing how this blocking thing works. Then she asked about the second dog. I replied shortly, "she's fine." Then she tried to call me at 2am on a Monday morning. I was asleep, I bet her new supply was fast asleep in the other room. When I didn't answer, she messaged asking for photos of the dogs. I did not respond. That afternoon, she messaged again asking for photos. I replied, "You already have photos of the dogs... look at those." Then I blocked her. She's been blocked for nearly a year now. Homey don't play the unblock game. 🤡
My ex-narc broke up with me via text and dropped my stuff off on my porch, not caring it could have been stolen. I blocked him on everything but my watch still accepted his messages. He texted me a week later acting as if nothing happened. No apologies, no “Hey, how are you doing?” Told me what he was doing like I gave af. 😂😂😂 He’s been blocked for over a year. Outta sight, outta mind. I feel sorry for his victim if there is one.
@@brittanynicole493 Good for you! So, I took about a year to heal from the narc I referred to above. When I dipped my toes into the online dating pool, it was narc after narc. I found someone I kinda clicked with initially, but the red flags were present. When this person finally revealed herself in a Fatal Attraction kinda way I knew I had to end it, but I was afraid of how she would take it. I put all the blame on myself, and told her "I'm not sure I'm the right person for you." She agreed. I blocked her. But she got a text through asking if she could pick up her Uno cards. I said I mail them. She texted again for a puzzle. I ignored her. Then she texted if we were still going to a theater event that I had purchased tickets for. I blocked her without replying on that last avenue. It's just amazing how these people try to pull you into their toxic BS and when they go to far, they try to pretend nothing happened.
It’s a blessing that he’s going “no contact” with me (for now), because I know it’s an opportunity for me to get back my power. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t painful as Fxck
When I first started dating my ex, I saw he followed an IG account about narc abuse, and I now think he was using that to avoid exposure. We went no contact and he blocked me on everything, and I think he’s just trying to not do what the “typical” narcissist does because he doesn’t want to be exposed as one. All about appearances. I’m also thankful he hasn’t, for whatever reason.
Similar. We married before social media, but at the end of the marriage I noticed he was following abuse channels and wondered what that was about. I think I found the cheating because he wanted me to. When I confronted him, he claimed he did it all because of me. He made me out to be a narcissist without saying the word. I was so confused but I had enough sense to tell my closest friends. One had divorced under similar circumstances and helped me start my education on narcissists. I’m so glad he blocked me and my family members. He hates that no one reaches out to him. He showed us who he is and we moved on.
Here’s the last text I got from him “I hate everyone don’t want anyone around me it’s not your fault.” You did nothing wrong … I have nothing to offer you.” He’s 46 struggling to make a living .. I think he had 8 months worth of fun, future faked me then decided to throw me away b4 it got too serious 🧐
Moral of the story is you have to be tired of being tired. There is so much energy loss when dealing with these people. They help you understand why you have to love you first before anyone else. When you love you there are standards that you juts will not allow yourself or anyone else to breach under any conditions. It's easier to not pretend as well. There is a lot of pretending when with a narc.
Lee, you may call and believe that you have a narcissistic personality disorder, from what I hear and see on your videos, you have an over powering empathic personality. Bless your heart and soul. You have my absolute respect. Thank you and please keep educating all the struggling victims of narcissistic abuse out there. 🙏☺
Wait 3 weeks, 3 months, 3 years... eventually they will try to hoover you back in, regardless of how lonh it's been. Regardless of how much they know you despise them, they always come back, always.
Next week will be a year without my narci. He finally stopped calling me from other numbers. Thank god. I'm steal healing from all the things I ended. He was an energy robber, liar, needy, oversized and charming at the same time. It's hard for me to look at your videos because you look similar but I did and I learned a lot from you. To just keep walking forward. Single and happy you better believe it. Thanks Lee. Keep educating people. Lol
It's only a good thing. You have to be strong enough to move on. I've NEVER been offended when a narcissist found a new supply over me. They usually tell me how I didn't meet their needs and I'm like "yay!"
Mine went no contact when he finally left my home, and he stole my things as he left (petty theft, took my cups literally left me with two mugs, stole all my laundry detergent, razors, etc) Right before he left, he made a BIG deal about him still being there for me after he's gone, and can i count on you to be there for me.... A fake the entire time. Now that he's finally gone, i feel like i can breathe again. Im so so happy i made it out.
I think it's because you've proved them wrong time and time again. You didn't fall into their traps and you've embarrassed them. You are basically too smart for them. They can't get over on you.
He accidentally recorded himself and sent it to me and when he showed up at my door I asked him about what he did and he denied it. I said, You recorded yourself and sent it to me. He denied it and I quoted every word he said etc… he turned red and said I have to go. Haven’t seen him since, a month later and I’m soooooo much happier. He is a pathological liar and I’m sooooo happy he is gone. Was tired of being his servant anyway LOL ❤
It took me a while to truly understand why I was discarded, and it was right after I finally brought him around my family. I have a big family and we’re all close. I brought him to the thanksgiving get together and none of the fellas were impressed. Actually, as he and I were leaving 3 of my male cousins followed us outside like, “hey cuz, you good? Are you sure? He don’t know yo family but you do. Where y’all going?” They all saw something I didn’t and it was embarrassing! But, I’m grateful it didn’t go further because I was already in a tail spin.
Love your rants Lee! My ex just sent me a message out of the blue after several months saying he's so sorry, he's hurting so bad, and he's learning how bad his communication is and he hopes I'm doing well. Mind you, it was WAY more than poor communication. He was downright abusive. Then he blocked me 😅 Oh yeah clearly he's figuring out communication 🙄
I've got an ex from over 10 years ago that will reach out through unknown numbers just to make me respond at all and then break up with me again as if we were together and I had just begged them even though we haven't spoken in forever. There is nothing to support that reality at all yet she needs to repeat the fact she can break up with me again and again. Last time I was like oh hey how are you guess we need to break up again, ok.
@@johnnycorn7225 lmao now that's funny. You've got that pattern down pat 😆 Funny cause my ex was the one always breaking up with me. I just didn't take him back when he came back like nothing happened last time, oh he pulled out all the narc tricks and I wasn't having it 😂
@@spicyphilly yup, and they never see it coming when you are done done done they can't believe it because it vaporizes their false self and they would rather live in a jail cell then deny their false self. Run run run lol
Lee is 100% correct I Rember when my ex narc would say to me “if this relationship is so bad for you, why do you keep coming back”… ?? Also, when I questioned him about his ex relationships and the abuse I was told about from them… He would say the same thing “it must have not been that bad because my girlfriends kept coming back, sooo why did they come back”?
I went no contact with evil narc and now i dont know what i ever saw in the useless entity!! Who wants to associate with narc, theyve got nothing about them! Leave them to their tortuous hellish lives. It will get worse as time goes by!! And the attraction you fall for in the love bomb spell will turn into the ugliness of evil! Get out and stay out! Love to all here♥️♥️♥️♥️🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
I embarrassed him online by calling him out and his ex contacted me and so I REALLY exposed him. I helped his son get into life saving treatment (that I helped to create bc of his son!!) and he still treated me like shit. His shit was wild. He was trying to bring her from a different country telling her he was going to marry her! I am sure he’ll leave me alone now. I did reach out AFTER I told him he was blocked, to reiterate that he’s a disgusting human and that I wanted nothing to do with him. I’m done with him. I validated and un gaslit myself. I’m sure he hates me. I find it funny now. 🤷🏽♀️
narcissists never reached out. They keep trespassing my privacy. I believe bad karma happens to all evil doers sooner or later. They will reap what they sow.
I recently had the hard realization that someone I had been close with for over twenty years is either narcissistic or has some tendencies towards it. Broke my heart to realize I made excuses for the red flags I see now looking back over the years. I recently called him out for what he'd done to me most recently, and his first response was to block me on SM. I just accepted it and he can sit in it by himself now.
My life eventually became like "Weekend at Bernie's". Totally passive-aggressive so I finally divorced him. Tired of playing mom. I knew he was done with me, but he left all the work of getting out to me since his lifestyle was good as long as I allowed it.
Just what you said Lee is what happened to me he claimed she was a "friend" I found out 2 weeks bf the incident that they dated for 4 yrs n he wanted to marry her. He said he never would hurt me like that Had me on the phone with that female and within a week found out they cheated together. Play n my face then blamed me for it happening. Ghosted me bc I would let it be bc hid behavior didn't change actually got worse. Needless to say he ghosted me while I was at work and cheated a 2nd time with another ex. Atp I could care less about any of them.. he's not a prize and I'll be damned if I reach out 💯
I had a psycho Narc contact me after seven years! They don't want you to forget them... unfortunately looking over your shoulder is real for some time.
My narc was friends with several exes and has many female friends that he would lunch with. If I questioned why, he would always say we're just friends, you have nothing to worry about! I needed to hear that "wake the *** up"!!!😂😂😂
I'm so glad I live across the country and can't see what he's doing. He threatened to file for divorce soon while he discarded me. He hurt me alright, but from what I hear this is a true blessing. He was exposed and I see him for what he is. He's a manchild
Don't wait on him to file for the divorce you go do it. It's what's best for you since you are away from him. Get those papers so you can be totally free from him.
I knew enough about narcissisticim when he discarded me that I went no contact! He been lerking around, using fake numbers to try and text me, try to post fake profiles on FB to get me to accept his friend request. He even found out where I lived because he had people following me and showed up one night in someone else's truck in front of the boarding house I lived in. I moved soon after that.
Exactly what mine did. Talked for two hours one day, then he went zero contact. Over a year and I still wait for them to pop up. I'm sure it's permanent but it's always lurking there.
Open the Champagne when He goes no Contact , You won !!! Let Him talk to Himself and never go back !!!
If they go no contact with you, consider yourself a got doggone victorious being. You'll thank them later.
🙏🏾
Amen!
@@MentalHealness
It’s a never ending cycle with narcissists. I just “broke up” with my boyfriend in February and we were supposed to be no contact until he or I reach out to resolve two specific ties that we have together. I kept up my end of the bargain, I did not call him AT ALL, but he didn’t keep his word. He called me everyday to “discuss” the decision of the break up and what our future plans would be without each other. Needless to say, we only broke up for a few days because this dude just won’t let me have my peace and happiness without him. We’re even back having sex with each other, sex that I don’t want because I wanted to be celibate and draw closer to the Lord, but this dude doesn’t care about none of that. It’s like we never broke up. He’s possessive and manipulative. I don’t know what to do
So true! Best gift they could ever give you. 😁
What if you still love the narcissists and they have gone no contact a year and I have our daughter raising her alone?
Good!! That means they have enough supply elsewhere and have no need for you. That's a great thing!! Enjoy your peace!!
She went silent to hurt me I went silent because I learnt my lesson
Since he went silent I've been living my best life
Same here
SAME. 😂
@@lafawnbelle4059As you should 🙌💕
So freaking true!!
They are done with you because you are very very hard now to manipulate and get narc supply. And you are an educated empath now.
💯‼️
Sometimes it’s because they ve drained everything from you and now you’re useless. It’s a win ! Delete and rebuild
Yeeees!
@@MentalHealnessyes I did the reverse hoover he ignored me yes he's done with me yes I told him about himself he new I'd sussed him out......
Amen
They went no contact to punish you for not doing their bidding.
‼️‼️
In my case I didn't organise his birthday or buy him a holiday LOL
Yes, they wanted to hurt and punish you. Got a feeling he wants me to chase or contact him again but, I am just not sure, since he already went silent and left me on 'read'. Don't know if he would do it again, but he did not block me though.
@@janebraun4482 exact same here and it's what they want for their ego! Don't do it !
@@janebraun4482 what are you waiting for? Just block the narc and move on
Have a party becuz it’s a blessing !!
Don't fall for the reverse hoover. Fall to your knees and thank God they have gone no contact and you keep no contact for yourself! Don't play their sick and twisted games. You aren't missing anything but more wicked abuse.
Going back is a self punishment of a lifetime
Ugh... Woulda, coulda, shoulda. I thought it would be too hard to raise my kids without him. I wish I had been stronger & wiser when he left...I shoulda changed the lock & key. Don't doubt yourself, you will get through it! Just let him/her leave. Let their decision STICK.
I wish my BD would do this
That is 💯
It took everything in me to leave her, i was terrified and she was cruel and laughed at me like i couldn't possibly be serious...now two or 3 yrs later she pops up messaging me like a few days ago and it triggered my fight or flight response, i dont even know what to do..i dont know why im saying this here but i have no one else
Simply means they KNOW you will not tolerate their nonsense. You're effective at not being their victim.
Thank you for clearing that out telling the truth is not a sm campaign
AAAMEN ‼️
The more you take someone back, the more it tells them they’re allowed to keep treating you the same way.
Precisely!
Facts
Yes! And every time we’d fight after and I’d try to leave I’d get the “go ahead and run away like you always do and like everyone else has!” I’d feel sorry for him and convince myself I would be the one to fix him… I would be the one who finally showed him true love and we would live happily ever after. Shew… it’s a nightmare. I’m so glad I got out of it. It’s hard for me to date now though because of how in the beginning he was so perfect but thru the course of 2 years he turned out to be so toxic!? I see a red flag now and run immediately so fast in the other direction
@@a10ecgirl72 Same here, thought I could help his sorry soul with love, but he just wanted to be fake and manipulate. Ignored all the red flags, was in denial.
@@a10ecgirl72 run to the woods don't look back.
They will purposely leave and ignore just to draw you in. Leave them where they belong.
Agreed!
YEP!!! ALONE!
I love when they get mad as fuck when you don't go back. They love to feel wanted. Of course, sometimes they rage even more when they realize you're not coming crawling back to their sorry asses.
That’s the actual truth they just do it to lure you it’s not gonna work because I can’t stand him so block or no block I could care less about him anymore that’s like me saying lucifer I miss you ! NOPE
This means you will be ignored, then they expect you to keep trying until they respond?
It’s because they know they behaved badly and seeing you will induce their shame.
This is the best explanation I have ever heard for this. You are right on! Sincerely, thanks.
So true and that why I close the door permanently because no human being on earth wants to be abuse not even a dog or a cat for that matter for christ sake amen...
This is exactly what my ex’s adult daughter told me! His shame wouldn’t allow him to call me. Fine by me! Been free and at peace almost 2 years now. He cheated on the woman he cheated on me with and now he’s making his way through his adult children’s mothers. They’re crazy to think he’ll be better with them since they both left him for other men over 20 years ago. 😮
They also know you have the ability to expose them. For who they really are.
Most Narcissists don't have any sense of shame
When they go no contact your prayers started working! Hallelujah and glory be to the ever lasting God!😍
Yay!!!😊😂
So true!!!! Amen 💕
Amen
God is good
If they go no contact consider🎉it a blessing in disguise
👏🏽👏🏽
@@MentalHealnessmy God I needed this it explains a lot about my behavior with the narcissist and the narcissist behavior I thought you was full of BS but this has truly open my eye's 👀 to both side's
Hey, if they go no contact, that is the best thing that could happen. Its not about winning or losing, or any hope for a turn around. Your life with a narcissist may have had its good times, I'm sure it did, that is how they hook you. But in the end, you know it was not a good thing, the things they said and did to you, were not ok. You are better off with out them, but you have to be strong enough to accept that, and take this opportunity to move on. You know damn well they moved on, and the worst part is they moved on while you were still suposedly a couple. So dont look backwards unless you plan on going that way.
Great comment, spot on
So true, going thru this now
@@anniealmendarez9160 me too.. mine posted his new supply a week after we broke up.. they were talking for months 😢
Thank you so true
Yeah sometimes they go no contact when you tear the mask off them and tell the truth which causes narcissistic injury
Oh wow. My psychologist just told me to look up “Narcissistic Injury” today! I hadn’t heard the term before.
Thats exactly what I did , He changed His Number and I didn't reach out on Him again
I did it on purpose so hopefully he won’t come back 🤞🏼
Why do people care if a narcissist goes no contact? It's a peaceful win. Move on
I think the majority of people who watch these videos didn't deal with actual narcissists or personality disordered people. They just need to make themselves feel better, so they call their ex a narcissist.
@@robpz448 i think you may be right
@robpz448 Yes. I cried tears of happiness when the narcissist in my life finally stopped contact. And the smear campaign. And wrangling the flying monkeys, etc... I was just so happy they were gone!!
I can't even comprehend the thinking behind someone who cares what a narcissist is doing once they leave or you leave. If they were with a true narcissist, they would be too happy celebrating this new found peace to even care.
@@LysetteZara they're going to do that anyways. No contact is a blessing. People shouldn't question it but be thankful.
Mine went "no-contact" after assaulting me. They focused all their energy on the smear campaign. I focused on pressing charges. A year later, guess who was found guilty and has a mugshot?
Same thing happened to me
🙏🏻Healing Blessings!💛🕊🍃
Same but added online and irl monitoring WHILE smearing and no contact after assaulting me…
Great job for holding the narcissist accountable by pressing charges against him. Sorry this happened to you
@@empressb444How bold of you to assume it was a he. Women can be just as abusive but society just doesn’t care.
They're done until they have no supply!
Right 👏👏👏👏👏🚨🚨💯💯
That's right
Yep. Then they suddenly remember, you're the best thing that ever happened to them, they always loved you, blah, blah, blah
@@idid138 exactly what I went through twice
Hoovered again... accidental WhatsApp message ... could understand an accidental text, but WhatsApp... Can it be anymore obvious?!
If they go "no contract" consider yourself blessed.
Contact*
@@nc8414 revealing slip of the pen?
@@meleze3382 yep 1000%
That’s why you forgive, and move on in silence so you can heal
This is what I’m learning to do all over again🤦🏾♀️
My ex husband popped BACK up again 😂, and tbh I didn’t really trust him anyway? But, just listened to his drivel, and maybe I listened too much.
I learned however, that he has not changed after he suckered me in. But my head knew, he hadn’t changed. My heart however, wanted to believe him, but knew this wouldn’t be as straightforward as it seemed.
Love is not meant to hurt, but these people WILL hurt you over n over n over again if you let them.
I have learned that the hard way, but it’s fine😊!
He can no contact me again for me now🤣🤣, allows me breathing space and to reconnect back with my damn self again! And learn to love me more than him.💪🏾💪🏾
Don't forgive. They have no remorse.
You can stop caring, though, that's probably the only sane thing to do.
@@mantislazuli you don’t have to tell them you forgive them. Just say it to yourself and give yourself some closure.
The only forgiveness that needs to happen is between you and the Lord . Forgiving a narcissist only gives them permission to hurt you again. Period
Forgive yourself not them, for not trusting your original instincts.
I have a narcissistic ex cousin who went no contact after I caught her manipulating our grandfather to steal money from me, my siblings, and other cousins. After getting busted, she tried to gaslight me. Honestly, I couldn't care less if we never speak again.
Mine will wait forever. I will NEVER try to reach out for headaches.
Period
Love this
Exactly. And it is literal,what you said. I realy had everyday headackes with narc
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Facts😂
It means you’ve been blessed, literally.
👏🏽👏🏽
What an awful way to do someone … up and leave , block you in every single way , and them move on with someone new ….ive never been done so dirty in my life
But look at it as a blessing! You set are set free from the abuse! ❤
@@kaoshi_kutie Things are getting a lil better each day , I appreciate your words , it means a lot
😮💨😫
Count your blessing my friend. You are free
@@dicerevo I been trying to , it’s just a mind fuck when you love someone and they do everything possible to make you hate them … that’s one spectrum all the way to the other side of the spectrum and no in between or any kind of half way
It's not fun to hurt you anymore. They have emptied your tank. When they see you healing, they will come out from under the rock😢
Yep
Really? They they would have to explain, which is doubtful
@@janebraun4482. He will never explain. They will manipulate again.
My ex final discarded me because I exposed him..... To himself. I NEVER called him by what he is, but I stopped playing his game. I told him it's ALWAYS been about him and NO ONE else.... And now he hates me.
I am experiencing the exact same thing and he blocked all contact
@@UrModeDefinesMyChoice2Flip yup. Mine did too. I haven't tried to reach out anyway.
main also left me hates me and stay no contact with me cus he knows what I think of him I told him he is narc manipulator not trust worthy fake so he dumbed me but .. I have feeling for this loser so 13 months am still crying and isolated myself I feel unworthy..
Yup went through the same... they kept me blocked on whatsapp through the whole time we were last back together ( so I probably wouldn't see the strange times he was online picking up new supply) , but now after he discarded me he has unblocked me. I'm keeping his ass blocked 🚫
Yess
I called him an emotionally abusive narcissist
He couldn’t survive it…
Smear campaign is in place, he sues me in court for alleged stalking …
Calls me crazy …
I use to get upset when she hangs up on me…Now i enjoy the space instead of being a slave on the phone
Felt that in my soul
Think of your narc as flavorless gum you dropped & the new supply, as the unfortunate soul who stepped in it.
😂😂😂😂 I appreciate this
I like you😂😂😂😂😂
Best analogy 👌
Whatever he’s doing ain’t none of my business! I’m free! Good riddance to bad rubbish!!!!
🙌🏾🙌🏾
Amen sista
I was cracking up when he mailed a pair of new shoes for himself to my house . I was perplexed. I didn’t know that it was called a reversed hoover . All I knew was that I wasn’t going to reach out to him EVER AGAIN… I wrote on the package… RTS, NO LONGER LIVES HERE!! & stop putting his packages on my property… thank you!!!
I was so proud of myself for not falling into his trap which I now found out later , it’s called a reversed hoover.
you should be proud. good job!
This is what I’ve learned about the new supply, they can’t make it work with them either. Mine’s had two already. Lol 😆 don’t worry about them. Move on.
Exactly!!!
😂😂😂😂👍
They can't stand the fact of being alone 😂
@@BashayG7175 nope, they’ll take anyone that pays them attention!
@princhipessa1969 I've been dealing with a narcissist for 10 years (we share a daughter together) and I'm 2 weeks into my healing process and I've gone completely no contact unless it's about my daughter and even with certain situations I will not respond at all. I feel so foolish ignoring all the red flags and thinking I could help this person or believing she loved me. She's currently seeking new supply from her nieces father. Yes, her sisters bd and it just blows my mind I could literally go on for days about the terrible things she's said and done, but I've released all that stress and pain.
If you get blocked they have done the heavy lifting for you. Leave it alone at this point and 9 times out of 10 they will be back...don't think they forgot about you...far from it. If they are allowed back in they will be MORE evil that before.
It’s because they’ve either “disengaged” for the time being or shelved you. Whether it’s exposure, shame, you being hard to control, or quality and frequency of your supply/fuel. Narcissists always return. In their mind, you belong to them and are their property. A household appliance.
😮💨😮💨
Hard to control in my case and he throw tantrum with tears delivering this info that he can’t control me and it makes him mad
Yes I exposed mine and the went no contact, so true
He is even lazy when it comes to forgiveness. No effort and no accountability. 😒
Yep!!! Mine too
😔
Forgiveness does not exist in ANY world, mostly THEIR OWN!
Yup even though he discarded me after I was on to his games , I still wished him the best and he couldn't wish me the best. Says it all...
Yes!! He thought I was weak!!! HE KNEW IT WAS OVER BECAUSE I WASN'T HAVING THAT CHID BEHAVIOR!! I HIM YOU NEED GOD TO YOU WITH YOUR DEMONS!!! THAT GOD I was strong!! 52 just realized what a narcissist is about your ago!! I KEPT SOMETHING IS NOT WITH HIM😁!! I KNEW WASN'T ME!!!!
He went no contact because I refuse to forget what really happened 😊
🫠
Same, he knows I 'know', what really happened. He got shamed by accident, in regards to an SM post I made that he deleted, and I sort of caught him, (again) he was shocked two fold, how I know things, he was just lost power and control in one swoop. I left a nice message left on read, he was so messed up, cannot respond, been over 2 months.
Same! They can repaint it, rationalize, explain, blah blah blah. Nope. I can be ignorant, but once I know, I know, can’t forget.
Same!!!
Yes once you see through them , they hate you for it.
Telling the truth is not a smear campaign.
💯💯💯
Amen!!❤
For sure!!! But the Truth hurts I guess! That's why we get the silent treatment tantrums. 😊
I just told the truth in a post about him, this invoked rage and discard. I was going to delete it, but he did it for me. I did not mean any harm, bizarre
@@janebraun4482 I guess the truth hurts huh? Hugs to you. I hope you get your devices checked for spyware/ parental monitoring software. If he had any access to them, because that's what mine is doing to me. Stalking me with my phone and spying on me.
After 5 -6 years i finally went no contact. Blocked him from media and phone. In these years I have not been encouraged or told I'm a good person or listened to. This healing is the worse feeling ever n I'm not sure where to go from here. But I have to keep going because my son is so happy.
When my narcissist is not hoovering it’s simply because he has found new supply. When/if his new supply doesn’t work out- then he comes back and begins the hoovering again.
The narcissist does not give you value, you have value all on your own. If they block you, it does not affect your value, you are still just as valuable. Honor yourself, your choices, and your value. ❤
It's the final discaaaard 🎶🎶🎉
🤭🎯🙌🏾
Yay🎉🎉🎉
The reverse hoover ... it's a shame. I'm through trying to reach out to someone who just wants to hurt me. I LOVE myself❤
💪🏽💪🏽
He told me I was too strong
Mine told me "You know me too well", meaning "you don't buy my shit anymore". So true, his mask fell
that happens too
I was told tha same thing...
Mine told me “I feel defeated I can’t win with you”
It’s always too something!!
There is no reaching out this too person ever again it permanently close and over..
🙌🏾
I remember my narc ex telling me ALL the time how loyal she is, loyalty is her best attribute etc. She then proceeded to stab me in the back and discard like I was nothing. She went ghost and blocked me everywhere and got on dating apps the same week.
Stung like hell but I have so much dignity and self respect, I never pursued once.
Can we talk abouy how its normal to miss the narcissist until you snap out of it and wake up to reality and realize theyre no good
They’ll always be miserable they’ll never be happy
They go no contact because of their pride and ego. They are also dismissive avoidant.
Do abusers just not know about trauma bonds? “Why r u reaching out to me?”…. The answer would be TRAUMA BOND
Frrr but I would i def say they have no clue what the hell it is. I mean I do! But these ppl don’t. I spoke to my Nex about some thing simaior being karmics which is two ppl who enter eachothers life to learn something. They didn’t know what it was so
If they go no contact with me: Hallelujah!
🙌🏾
What happens if a narcissist goes no contact? Thank your lucky stars , hope and pray to God that it stays that way for the rest of your life. Do not accept any hoovers, do not even acknowledge if they tell you hello. Ignore any attempts that they make. Never contact them again and never acknowledge any attempt of them contacting you.
‼️💯
They pull a Houdini to the 10th power. It’s the EGO & PRIDE why they become Casper the ghost
‼️‼️
Yup huge ego that got told it wasn't all that!!!
It's like winning a jackpot.. Celebrate you are free from ongoing torment...😂😂
When that happens, best believe they are tearing your name apart. They will lie or do anything to destroy your name because you won't do what they want you to do.
The narc blocked me first, before I knew about the block/unblock game. I don't know when she unblocked me.. it was about a year later she liked a photo of my dog, which I tagged the foster from whom we rescued the dogs. I ignored the like... still not realizing how this blocking thing works. Then she asked about the second dog. I replied shortly, "she's fine." Then she tried to call me at 2am on a Monday morning. I was asleep, I bet her new supply was fast asleep in the other room. When I didn't answer, she messaged asking for photos of the dogs. I did not respond. That afternoon, she messaged again asking for photos. I replied, "You already have photos of the dogs... look at those." Then I blocked her. She's been blocked for nearly a year now. Homey don't play the unblock game. 🤡
My ex-narc broke up with me via text and dropped my stuff off on my porch, not caring it could have been stolen. I blocked him on everything but my watch still accepted his messages. He texted me a week later acting as if nothing happened. No apologies, no “Hey, how are you doing?” Told me what he was doing like I gave af. 😂😂😂 He’s been blocked for over a year. Outta sight, outta mind.
I feel sorry for his victim if there is one.
😂
@@brittanynicole493 Good for you! So, I took about a year to heal from the narc I referred to above. When I dipped my toes into the online dating pool, it was narc after narc. I found someone I kinda clicked with initially, but the red flags were present. When this person finally revealed herself in a Fatal Attraction kinda way I knew I had to end it, but I was afraid of how she would take it. I put all the blame on myself, and told her "I'm not sure I'm the right person for you." She agreed. I blocked her. But she got a text through asking if she could pick up her Uno cards. I said I mail them. She texted again for a puzzle. I ignored her. Then she texted if we were still going to a theater event that I had purchased tickets for. I blocked her without replying on that last avenue. It's just amazing how these people try to pull you into their toxic BS and when they go to far, they try to pretend nothing happened.
The games!! Such mindfuck beyond comprehension! I have ZERO tolerance for any of this crap anymore- like ever!
I got blocked when he secured the new supply. She thought she had a prize, little did she know she was in for a life of misery
Yes.. That happened to me too. I am Blocked, and he's with the new supply.
It’s a blessing that he’s going “no contact” with me (for now), because I know it’s an opportunity for me to get back my power. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t painful as Fxck
I’m glad I watched this before I decided to break no contact
The narcissist went out of their way to destroy my life before leaving for the person “they never felt like this before” with.
💯
Thank you Lee. Everything you are saying is helping me understand the narcissists in my family. Explains why they are afraid of me. 😂😂
When I first started dating my ex, I saw he followed an IG account about narc abuse, and I now think he was using that to avoid exposure. We went no contact and he blocked me on everything, and I think he’s just trying to not do what the “typical” narcissist does because he doesn’t want to be exposed as one. All about appearances. I’m also thankful he hasn’t, for whatever reason.
Similar. We married before social media, but at the end of the marriage I noticed he was following abuse channels and wondered what that was about. I think I found the cheating because he wanted me to. When I confronted him, he claimed he did it all because of me. He made me out to be a narcissist without saying the word. I was so confused but I had enough sense to tell my closest friends. One had divorced under similar circumstances and helped me start my education on narcissists.
I’m so glad he blocked me and my family members. He hates that no one reaches out to him. He showed us who he is and we moved on.
Here’s the last text I got from him “I hate everyone don’t want anyone around me it’s not your fault.” You did nothing wrong … I have nothing to offer you.” He’s 46 struggling to make a living .. I think he had 8 months worth of fun, future faked me then decided to throw me away b4 it got too serious 🧐
Moral of the story is you have to be tired of being tired. There is so much energy loss when dealing with these people. They help you understand why you have to love you first before anyone else. When you love you there are standards that you juts will not allow yourself or anyone else to breach under any conditions. It's easier to not pretend as well. There is a lot of pretending when with a narc.
From the bottom of my heart thank you SO much for your videos … they are saving my life right now 😢
God is good when the narc goes no contact 🙌🏽🙌🏽
Lee, you may call and believe that you have a narcissistic personality disorder, from what I hear and see on your videos, you have an over powering empathic personality. Bless your heart and soul. You have my absolute respect. Thank you and please keep educating all the struggling victims of narcissistic abuse out there. 🙏☺
Wait 3 weeks, 3 months, 3 years... eventually they will try to hoover you back in, regardless of how lonh it's been. Regardless of how much they know you despise them, they always come back, always.
Next week will be a year without my narci. He finally stopped calling me from other numbers. Thank god. I'm steal healing from all the things I ended. He was an energy robber, liar, needy, oversized and charming at the same time. It's hard for me to look at your videos because you look similar but I did and I learned a lot from you. To just keep walking forward. Single and happy you better believe it. Thanks Lee. Keep educating people. Lol
Never go back to what your God took you from🙏🏽. I refuse to be made at myself.
He wants me to reach out and I REFUSEEEE I will break my fingers first!!!!
@@Jamiliadanae 🤣😂
It's only a good thing. You have to be strong enough to move on. I've NEVER been offended when a narcissist found a new supply over me. They usually tell me how I didn't meet their needs and I'm like "yay!"
Yep blocked me after I told him I saw thru him.. .I moved on and healed. He's done. I exposed him
Mine went no contact when he finally left my home, and he stole my things as he left (petty theft, took my cups literally left me with two mugs, stole all my laundry detergent, razors, etc) Right before he left, he made a BIG deal about him still being there for me after he's gone, and can i count on you to be there for me.... A fake the entire time. Now that he's finally gone, i feel like i can breathe again. Im so so happy i made it out.
Mine stole my clean laundry, they're pitiful
I think it's because you've proved them wrong time and time again. You didn't fall into their traps and you've embarrassed them. You are basically too smart for them. They can't get over on you.
He accidentally recorded himself and sent it to me and when he showed up at my door I asked him about what he did and he denied it. I said, You recorded yourself and sent it to me. He denied it and I quoted every word he said etc… he turned red and said I have to go. Haven’t seen him since, a month later and I’m soooooo much happier. He is a pathological liar and I’m sooooo happy he is gone. Was tired of being his servant anyway LOL ❤
🫨🫨🫨🫨
Recorded what though,please don't tell me it's what I think.
@@Exquisitepunani yes it was……. Life is so much easier when you don’t waste your time with pathological cheating narcissists…. 🩷
@@Exquisitepunani he was trying to pick up another woman and lying to her about things. And he sent it to me. 🤣a gift from above….
It took me a while to truly understand why I was discarded, and it was right after I finally brought him around my family. I have a big family and we’re all close. I brought him to the thanksgiving get together and none of the fellas were impressed. Actually, as he and I were leaving 3 of my male cousins followed us outside like, “hey cuz, you good? Are you sure? He don’t know yo family but you do. Where y’all going?”
They all saw something I didn’t and it was embarrassing! But, I’m grateful it didn’t go further because I was already in a tail spin.
🙏
Love your rants Lee!
My ex just sent me a message out of the blue after several months saying he's so sorry, he's hurting so bad, and he's learning how bad his communication is and he hopes I'm doing well.
Mind you, it was WAY more than poor communication. He was downright abusive.
Then he blocked me 😅
Oh yeah clearly he's figuring out communication 🙄
I've got an ex from over 10 years ago that will reach out through unknown numbers just to make me respond at all and then break up with me again as if we were together and I had just begged them even though we haven't spoken in forever. There is nothing to support that reality at all yet she needs to repeat the fact she can break up with me again and again. Last time I was like oh hey how are you guess we need to break up again, ok.
@@johnnycorn7225 lmao now that's funny. You've got that pattern down pat 😆
Funny cause my ex was the one always breaking up with me. I just didn't take him back when he came back like nothing happened last time, oh he pulled out all the narc tricks and I wasn't having it 😂
@@spicyphilly yup, and they never see it coming when you are done done done they can't believe it because it vaporizes their false self and they would rather live in a jail cell then deny their false self. Run run run lol
Lee is 100% correct I Rember when my ex narc would say to me “if this relationship is so bad for you, why do you keep coming back”… ?? Also, when I questioned him about his ex relationships and the abuse I was told about from them… He would say the same thing “it must have not been that bad because my girlfriends kept coming back, sooo why did they come back”?
I went no contact with evil narc and now i dont know what i ever saw in the useless entity!! Who wants to associate with narc, theyve got nothing about them! Leave them to their tortuous hellish lives. It will get worse as time goes by!! And the attraction you fall for in the love bomb spell will turn into the ugliness of evil! Get out and stay out! Love to all here♥️♥️♥️♥️🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
15 years with my covert narcissistic husband. In separation for almost 4. He's the king of silence. Good. Thank God.
Literally same situation with me.
In the same situation so ready to be done
I embarrassed him online by calling him out and his ex contacted me and so I REALLY exposed him. I helped his son get into life saving treatment (that I helped to create bc of his son!!) and he still treated me like shit. His shit was wild. He was trying to bring her from a different country telling her he was going to marry her! I am sure he’ll leave me alone now. I did reach out AFTER I told him he was blocked, to reiterate that he’s a disgusting human and that I wanted nothing to do with him. I’m done with him. I validated and un gaslit myself. I’m sure he hates me. I find it funny now. 🤷🏽♀️
It’s been wild being discarded after 5 kids and 14 years of marriage.
😫😫😫
Im sorry😢
narcissists never reached out. They keep trespassing my privacy. I believe bad karma happens to all evil doers sooner or later. They will reap what they sow.
Good. They can push off. I’m done with narcs. They’ve taken too much from me. Time for healing.
I recently had the hard realization that someone I had been close with for over twenty years is either narcissistic or has some tendencies towards it. Broke my heart to realize I made excuses for the red flags I see now looking back over the years. I recently called him out for what he'd done to me most recently, and his first response was to block me on SM. I just accepted it and he can sit in it by himself now.
Then be proud, because you proven you got strong boundaries and value freedom
🙌🏾
That is what he did exactly. He completely blocked me gradually
My life eventually became like "Weekend at Bernie's". Totally passive-aggressive so I finally divorced him. Tired of playing mom. I knew he was done with me, but he left all the work of getting out to me since his lifestyle was good as long as I allowed it.
Your exactly correct in everything u said. They know the game is over , I was one of his worse nightmares , but i did it with finesse.
Just what you said Lee is what happened to me he claimed she was a "friend" I found out 2 weeks bf the incident that they dated for 4 yrs n he wanted to marry her. He said he never would hurt me like that Had me on the phone with that female and within a week found out they cheated together. Play n my face then blamed me for it happening. Ghosted me bc I would let it be bc hid behavior didn't change actually got worse. Needless to say he ghosted me while I was at work and cheated a 2nd time with another ex. Atp I could care less about any of them.. he's not a prize and I'll be damned if I reach out 💯
💯‼️ stay strong on your healing journey
You brought back the narcisstic fire 🔥
I had a psycho Narc contact me after seven years! They don't want you to forget them... unfortunately looking over your shoulder is real for some time.
My narc was friends with several exes and has many female friends that he would lunch with. If I questioned why, he would always say we're just friends, you have nothing to worry about! I needed to hear that "wake the *** up"!!!😂😂😂
That one friend who been lingering around. They both hot mess. They made for each other. I dodged a bullet
🤭🤭
I'm so glad I live across the country and can't see what he's doing. He threatened to file for divorce soon while he discarded me. He hurt me alright, but from what I hear this is a true blessing. He was exposed and I see him for what he is. He's a manchild
Don't wait on him to file for the divorce you go do it. It's what's best for you since you are away from him. Get those papers so you can be totally free from him.
I knew enough about narcissisticim when he discarded me that I went no contact! He been lerking around, using fake numbers to try and text me, try to post fake profiles on FB to get me to accept his friend request. He even found out where I lived because he had people following me and showed up one night in someone else's truck in front of the boarding house I lived in. I moved soon after that.
Same here even sending people to follow me
Exactly what mine did. Talked for two hours one day, then he went zero contact. Over a year and I still wait for them to pop up. I'm sure it's permanent but it's always lurking there.
5:55 so true. My brother and my aunt! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 in my James Brown voice🗣️ “I feel good!!” As I shimmy dance 🕺🕺🕺 across the kitchen floor.
When they turn into Casper after you dont fall into their games. You have real challenges going on in life. Its a win.