Well said! I forgave mine when she kept a positive covid test from me. That was a month into the relationship. It opened the floodgates. 6 months later and I'm leaving. I'm exhausted.
@@Chroniclesofasinglemom right ?! And if you take them back you’ll have MAYBE a couple weeks of ‘bliss’ until they go back to their old ways They can’t help it … narcissists are broken people
They DO NOT put work into any relationship. It's all one-sided. I sacrificed to be with him, and he would give me bread crumbs. So sad. Happy healing to everyone. ❤
@@fdsdfsdfsdfaasdsaf Sorry that happened, he only regretted it because it came with consequences. “Sorry for everything” just means he doesn’t know what he did so he’s just covering all his bases. So if you accept that apology he’s going to do it again, because he doesn’t even know what he did. Even if he believes it at the time, he’s just saying words to get what he wants. “sorry I hurt you” doesn’t mean he’s sorry for what he did, it just means next time I do that, don’t be hurt. It’s normal to want to see the best in others, but sometimes we’re just projecting our good qualities onto them. We can’t think like them because we’re not like them. We don’t want to believe it because it hurts too much to realise we invested so much love into someone who never intended to give any back.
They don’t regret. They find reasons to justify what they’ve done. Or they’ll continue to push you to act out and play the victim … which helps the justification… “look how you act”
@@NatzTalk yep. “You’re toxic” “you’re never happy” … all the while, they’re the toxicity and it’s like happy for what? To be treated like crap and gas lit??
I had an ex say (about the shit they did): "Maybe it was bad representation." I said: WHAT???!!!! Them: Yeah. Maybe it was bad representation. You always said I'd move too fast...or it was this... I almost- not slapped- but almost PUNCHED the taste out of his whole face. BAD REPRESENTATION???!!! 😡😡😡😡😡😡🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬
I've noticed they'll do really stupid s***without even thinking about it in the moment, they'll go back and try to like correct their mistake and he even told me he knew he was acting psychotic, but then later yeah it was like a switch turned off where he didn't feel bad anymore. He was like wow I'm surprised you're not laying into me right now for doing that. Like he expected to get a rise out of me. And then he said he was the biggest piece of s***like trying to make me feel bad for him even though he deeply hurt me and then his behavior is went back to the same thing. Like you said you feel remorse in the moment but then the switch turns off. In the moment they know they're wrong but then they try to justify it later and gas lights. It causes the same arguments over and over and over again too. I don't think he'll ever understand how much he hurt me. He will never be able to run away from shame though because he keeps doing shameful stuff I feel like narcissist will never escape shame or anxiety
exactly. we only can run nd disappear without notice. apology only gives them a sense of release but they wont change. forgiveness may make them believe what they did was ok. they dont have a sense of being wrong. run with the first nd single redflag. try them. challenge them hard before u allow them in ur space. no address, mail nd phone nr exchange.
Exactly!! I didn't realize I was in rotation with this narc until I started seeing certain patterns. I realized that it wasn't normal it was like oh you're so this and that aka love bombing, to oh I don't like this and that by the way you're so on and on. Then the silent treatment whenever I didn't give him what he wanted, and I found myself reaching oh why the tantrums and stuff. Long story short I would let him back in, I was thinking oh this connection is so amazing. Then I started reading and listening to videos on trauma bonds, and realize I was in a narcissistic cycle. I finally blocked him on everything!!!!!
You're right! Staying in toxic relationships will not just stress you out, but can lead to some serious physical, emotional, and financial issues the longer you stay in situations like that. I've seen it happen.
Don’t hear what I’m not saying.. they will absolutely flip the script and push their shame onto you. Not just shame they accumulated on themselves from your relationship.. but shame from their entire lives. Life long victims or their own doing.. but it’s everyone else’s fault and never their own.
LOL! I had a 1:1 w/Lee. I told him the same thing. Gotta get that Narc plug in. Tell us how you are our favorite. Flex those guns. 😂 You ARE our favorite Lee.❤ I am learning it is SO hard for them to A) Admit they have it. B) Talk about it. HUGE accomplishment for Lee. I have studied every in and out of the psychology because I’m married to an extreme Narcissist w/psychopath traits/behaviors. For Lee to tell us on camera is huge. And a HUGE gift to women like me and all people who are VICTIMS. ❤ Lee getting on camera each day is like a meth addict going to 3 meetings a day to stay clean. My own observation-I’m not a psychiatrist.
10:37 forgiveness doesn’t mean allowance. They’ve twisted that word forgiveness to mean unconditional acceptance.. and that’s not at all what forgiveness is, nor how it works.
💯 forgiveness in a normal world is the deepest level of love. This sick demons just take that for acceptance. When you forgive a narc they lose respect Welcome in the upside down world of the agents smiths of satan 🤡
Am I dealing with a Narcissist with our son in-law or am I crazy? He comes from a very wealthy family. He pays for nothing. He changed right after they got married. First he had our daughter turn her phone off on their honeymoon and they were half way around the world. He said “your parents can talk to you through me. It will save them money. “ Then when they were home we were always on speaker when we called. Which was weird. My daughter said, “we just have an open relationship”. Then he told my wife to tell me, her dad that he didn’t want him kissing my daughter any more on the cheek or forehead like any dad does. This caused issues in the family, which i think is what he wanted. They end up moving away to live with his family and didn’t let us know that they were moving. There are other things as well. We hardly ever see our daughter. He seems to control everything she does. It has been so hard :(
This is VERY concerning and sounds like a typical abusive relationship where he needs to have full control!! Can you meet your daughter on her own , you could make up an excuse such as family emergency ect? He is trying to isolate her from all support network. This is WRONG. I’m not 100% sure he is Narcissistic but definitely controlling and abusive ❤ I will be praying for her and your family. Please keep us updated! You have ever right to be concerned. On second thoughts , it sounds like he could be Narcissistic in regards to him ‘changing’ after she got married. He was probably lovebombing her and then dropped his mask once he knew he had her . ❤
@@kaoshi_kutie Thank you. we have been at our whit's end going through all of this. Love-bombing definitely happened from him and his family. We had tickets to basketball and football games with his family, going out to eat and he was over all the time playing with her siblings and as soon as the marriage was over, it all stopped, and things seemed to change. She did come and see us recently and it was good, but we are careful to not disparage him because we believe he will use it against us, and it will push her away. She seems happy when we see her, but it just isn't the same as it was with her before all this. Right now, we are just trying to keep the communication lines open and wait and see if she will see what everyone else sees.
He is definitely controlling. That much need for control is a very bad sign. Unfortunately your daughter will just have to slowly figure it out, most likely. Once a controlling guy like that marries someone, they have already bypassed SO many boundaries with that person that it's hard for the controlled person to see the situation for what it is.
Sadly, I’m cracking up off your illustration about how giving them forgiveness equals no regrets. (The regret “rag” got thrown out the window) OMG! I experienced that and so I started saying, “NOOOOO, I DO NOT FORGIVE YOU”! Asking for forgiveness became a broken record for years so I eventually walked away to regain my dignity!! 🤦🏽♀️
Public smear campaign is worse ! Even if in better graces of Narc ~ the “ blind followers “ seem to still show me so much h8e ! Thank you 🙏 Lee ❤❤❤ Along with my BFF 👯♀️ we are listening to your programming & working on a healing ❤️🩹 journey 😊😊😊❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉
God bless you for being honest and having the courage to get help and stay in therapy for seven years. Wishing you continued support success even if it means staying in therapy forever. Just do it and be prove of all your courage. Your a good example of man. Proud to watch you. And grateful to you.
They Brian wash you into believing that you deserve that kind of treatment. Some times the victim gets so use to the treatment that they think, they don't deserve any better and they think they deserve that rotten awful treatment. The victim gets hooked onto the relationship and treatment and goes back over and over again. Good examples: where this is shown is the shows called Dirty John and Maid, both of these series are on Netflix.
Sometimes I feel like you have been married to my husband 😂. Or he is text book narc, cov, or....oh yeah it's always my fault. I think the most ridiculous way he's blamed me is by saying, well we weren't having s*x. OH, and that gives a husband every right to sleep around. And I have been begging for that intimacy for too long. He tries to make me feel crazy on the daily. And listening to u centers me again and reminds me that I am not. Ty
Yup. But then what was the excuse when you were giving them sex? And that reason is the reason why you stopped having sex with them in the first place 🤦🏽♀️
High narcissistic tendencies is what I feel like my Ex has.. she was very good at saying to me what she needed me to do to make the r.s with her, the new supply and myself to work.. I was the one that always had to give and settle. I had to be toxic myself and crazy to even get back into a situation where I devalued myself so low and called it Love. Your forgiveness will turn into your own regret for the situation... what you allow will continue. Straight UP.
Narcissists do what they do naturally, and do it very well without knowing the damage they have done! So to answer your question, NO they don't regret it, and have no remorse for what they have done! Cheers to all 👍😎
Exactly!! I didn't realize I was in rotation with this narc until I started seeing certain patterns. I realized that it wasn't normal it was like oh you're so this and that aka love bombing, to oh I don't like this and that by the way you're so on and on. Then the silent treatment whenever I didn't give him what he wanted, and I found myself reaching oh why the tantrums and stuff. Long story short I would let him back in, I was thinking oh this connection is so amazing. Then I started reading and listening to videos on trauma bonds, and realize I was in a narcissistic cycle.. All and all he was juggling me and his wife(that he lied and said they're divorced aka they were just separated), he kept saying they were just co-parenting. So his birthday weekend he was posting and made it look like he was by himself, and the that Monday she posted them and he was tagged, so now I'm blocked because I hearted and commented. We talked the day after but he kept deflecting and saying I don't know why she posted it, so because I wasn't buying it he hug up in my face I blocked him from EVERYTHING!!!!!!!
everytime she was disrespectful id just walk away then she would return some how with a hoover id forgive go back recieve more insults so id just walk away again without a fight she said i was ghosting her.... im not sure what planet shes from but my planet says if you not welcome dont stay just walk away, im not going to allow someone to use me as a punching bag insults or other wise its self respect that i walk away from that. would you stay in company where someone is constantly picking on you?
They never regret anything but not hurting you more before they left you go or before you leave. Plus if you left they to busy trying to find a way back into your life to hurt you more.
I gave my husband so many chances it was the worst thing I ever did. Towards the end I could barely motivate myself to get up or go out . Narcissits are very bad people
The Only regret they have is that they got caught Red Handed. The Only thing I’ll ever do is to Forgive myself and going Zero Contact with them for good. Therefore Narcissists don’t give a Flying F**K for the things they’ve done to us.
No they don’t. My parents were shocked when I told them I want a break from them and they asked me why. I gave them a long list why and they were like “thanks for feedback🥰👍 “ LOL
Yup mine hit me in a argument. Was more like her having a rage for some reason in the beggining of our relationship. I was just walking by her in my halway, she instantly spun around and punched. Then acted like didnt know why, thought i was putting my hands on her from past trauma from her ex. Then she cried on the porch as i was done and taking her home but i chose not to and felt sad for her and conduzed on how she could flipped a switch so fast. She then blsmmed it wasnt her, thats not who she is etc etc. Fact,i never got punched again but she still did some toxic mistreatment towards me and at me and especially with her words and tried to make me believe it was me and my words
Man, mine bit me. We were playing around, both trying to tell a story to a friend. I put my hand over her mouth so I could say it first. It was all in fun, we were laughing. Then she bit the hell out of me and just held on. Wouldn't let go. Then the same shit you said. Never done that before, past triggers, etc. Crying that she lost me, complete mental breakdown over it. Never did it again, but yeah. Never made me feel like my opinion mattered. Controlled everything from my finances to my friends, not letting me go anywhere without her.
@zaccheatum2786 mine was so confuzing. I never stopped her from going anywhere. Sonetimes i had questions etc but then she try to guilt me even when she went alone and something happened. Told me i controlled her and not one time gave her any demands or ultimatums. Then i go do something myself money related the only time besides doing errands for her and she would pick a fight if she wasnt feeling good etc and try to tell me i dont care bout her and all that stuff because I was working. But if she needed to go do something it always had more purpose then me or if i felt she was avoiding time could have together i better not speak of it or im just whatever toxic projecting things she wanted to spew at me then she would block,make it out im causing her to do it then be days or days later up and break up. Stuff like that. My situation was alot more messed up then this though. Include spirits, god, her special gifts and she is pure love ontop of all this also things tried to make me feel less then because of or not to her level in the end. At first i was so great even with her rages and after but later it was she is healed from church and changed and its all me
@zaccheatum2786 i hardly went anywhere with mine. It was so difficult or i was afraid she would just fight with me. Even a trip to the store something could trigger a horrible attitude. She blsmed me not going places with her to. I wanted to plan, take off work etc to go places, she expected me to just up and it be easy last week or 2 notice and me just want to go with her ideas. When something went wrong on her personal trips and her kids she would blame me for not being there so either way i got attacked for something. Good enough, not good enough etc
@@UrModeDefinesMyChoice2Flip The most horrible thing is that those people give you the fault for their wrong-doings. (For me personally that is very bad). The whole world is guilty but never them.
Narcissistic ignorance after leaving him First time I left him because of his lies and gaslighting, he hooovered me back promising he changed. But he kept lies, cheating and became worse. I left him second time for good, decided not to go back whatever he says. But this time he never called or message. This is a double trauma because he never loved me. I wouldn't go back but I needed to be missed. The slightest feeling of revenge for what I had been through . It hurts deeply. He kept living his life ingnoring me . I left him, not he. And I forgot to mention that when he hoovered me back I stopped giving him any supply and often he was angry or dislike that. Now I have the feeling he is released and free of me. This hurts too.
He held on a grouge for the past 40 years and I didn't know. PTSD, Crack, Alcohol played a factor. I walked back into a land mine . Very narcissistic. Through me out like the trash. 46 years
Hi! Thank you for all the information you share, it is helping me a lot with the grief or a past relationship with a narcissist. I wanted to ask you something related to regret… what made you change/work on yourself? What was your story/breaking point? I think a video telling your story and understanding what triggered a diagnosed narcissist to take accountability about their actions is very interesting and found help many others to understand how a narcissist mind works!
Lee I am so thankful For this channel I was in a narcissistic relationship for over 3 years very mentally abusive just a mean individual I am trying to learn to love myself again been over a year I heard recently he's looking for me again gives me anxiety but
I will not let him in no matter what again He needs help he lived a complete separate life of lies All he did was lie to me he was married the whole time and I think he cheated on me as well..there is just soo much😢😮
Now, we're getting into the quality of character of a narc. I have likened this to FPofBelAir. The intro with FP getting caught with the spraypaint by the cop. Gestures what? what's wrong. check it.
I never heard from my exs for years so good sign I did have 3 exs come bk out of subpiles at time they didn't bother after when when couldn't use me. If look death notices u might find ur exs if don't hear from them .
And they will never give up....they love empaths because empaths are quick to forgive.... Stand firm DO NOT ALLOW THEM BACK IN!!!!! and get some therapy your dam selves some of y'all need to ask why you wanna keep abuse🚩🚩🚩
I think once my ex can come to terms with being forced to sleep with his sister out of bullying n shame n guilt n fear as a baby then they can start to feel why they do the damage but it’s unlikely he’ll confront his sister n being forced to sleep together then he’ll let go of blame n his massive guilt around where his addiction started at 2 yrs old being tortured n bullied by his older sicko brother who was like his father n his father being a good Christian n hiding what her children were force into for their severe lack of weakness n parenting!
Seems like the more they regret their behavior, the more angry and bitter they become towards the person. So if they're seething at a ex, maybe run right away next time, lol.
I’m dealing with this now and he did everything from physical abuse to cheating, lying, manipulation, and he lives with me. And he tries to make me feel guilty for telling him he can just go. He blames me for everything, he said I have no respect yet he cheated and when I tell him it hurts and how would he feel if I cheated on him, he will tell me to go cheat on him then and beg me to have sex with someone else to justify his mistreatment. He threatens to leave and will pack up his clothes likes he’s going to and I will say go ahead and go, he will stay and tell me that he can’t believe I’m throwing him out. Like what!?
I still kick myself tor I Enduring 30 years worth of evil vindictive abuse from my malignant narcissist husband. He blamed me for broken appliances. He blamed me for everything. Even told me after my cancer treatment that he wish I would have died. I cried for days. Non stop. And he continued on with his day to day and never ever apologized for any thing he said or did. Always told me " he's gonna make himself happy" and he did. Blatantly cheating like I did notvexist. Lying all the time for no reason. It was like living with an evil 2 year old brat. He always made me feel anxious, with delight.
My son's father ghost for months then comes back like nothings wrong. when I bring up or ask why he disappeared he blames me but in the same sentence says he know all I wanted to do was give but his pride got the best of him. Then goes back to me saying i won't give up on him years ago. If i mention something he has said, he gets upset and say i always bring up the past... Now that i 've set boundaries he claims i hated him the whole relationship smh
Problem is they don’t think they did anything
This.
Exactly
Sooooo true!! It’s never them!
@@raynapierson1893 nope, never.
And don't
Forgiveness to a narcissist equals permission!
That Part!
Yes! My narcissistic father taught me forgiveness means nothing. Accountability is what is important.
100% right I could not have said that better
Well said! I forgave mine when she kept a positive covid test from me. That was a month into the relationship. It opened the floodgates. 6 months later and I'm leaving. I'm exhausted.
They only regret when they have no new supply
😧
Yes Lord!!!!!
@@Chroniclesofasinglemom right ?!
And if you take them back you’ll have MAYBE a couple weeks of ‘bliss’ until they go back to their old ways
They can’t help it … narcissists are broken people
But sadly, they mostly have supplies lined up, the voids kill them.
Sad but true
They DO NOT put work into any relationship. It's all one-sided. I sacrificed to be with him, and he would give me bread crumbs. So sad. Happy healing to everyone. ❤
He said he’s sorry he hurt me, but he’s never said he’s sorry for what he did.
Omg yes…… or the “I’m sorry for everything”
Then you ask what exactly is everything? And they can’t say🤨
mine said he regretted and was sorry for what he did, then did it again a few months later, their words mean nothing
@@DanceChickaDee oh yes, or the "sorry for being me" 😖😖
@@DanceChickaDee hahaha I got that one too! We need bingo cards for this lol
@@fdsdfsdfsdfaasdsaf Sorry that happened, he only regretted it because it came with consequences.
“Sorry for everything” just means he doesn’t know what he did so he’s just covering all his bases. So if you accept that apology he’s going to do it again, because he doesn’t even know what he did. Even if he believes it at the time, he’s just saying words to get what he wants.
“sorry I hurt you” doesn’t mean he’s sorry for what he did, it just means next time I do that, don’t be hurt.
It’s normal to want to see the best in others, but sometimes we’re just projecting our good qualities onto them.
We can’t think like them because we’re not like them. We don’t want to believe it because it hurts too much to realise we invested so much love into someone who never intended to give any back.
The narcissist grooms their victim sometimes to become like them. The narcissist becomes the teacher and the victim becomes the student.
They do not regret because they are “always right”.
They don’t regret. They find reasons to justify what they’ve done. Or they’ll continue to push you to act out and play the victim … which helps the justification… “look how you act”
Exactly. " I told you it was your fault "
@@NatzTalk yep. “You’re toxic” “you’re never happy” … all the while, they’re the toxicity and it’s like happy for what? To be treated like crap and gas lit??
I had an ex say (about the shit they did): "Maybe it was bad representation."
I said: WHAT???!!!!
Them: Yeah. Maybe it was bad representation. You always said I'd move too fast...or it was this...
I almost- not slapped- but almost PUNCHED the taste out of his whole face. BAD REPRESENTATION???!!! 😡😡😡😡😡😡🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬
@@zerospecs2331 yeah they play right in your face and wait for u to react so they can thn say “see look, ur the bad guy” smh
I've noticed they'll do really stupid s***without even thinking about it in the moment, they'll go back and try to like correct their mistake and he even told me he knew he was acting psychotic, but then later yeah it was like a switch turned off where he didn't feel bad anymore. He was like wow I'm surprised you're not laying into me right now for doing that. Like he expected to get a rise out of me. And then he said he was the biggest piece of s***like trying to make me feel bad for him even though he deeply hurt me and then his behavior is went back to the same thing. Like you said you feel remorse in the moment but then the switch turns off. In the moment they know they're wrong but then they try to justify it later and gas lights. It causes the same arguments over and over and over again too. I don't think he'll ever understand how much he hurt me. He will never be able to run away from shame though because he keeps doing shameful stuff I feel like narcissist will never escape shame or anxiety
How accurate is this……. Stressful af
Facts. The sad part is they do things to their children and don't care either.
In order to regret, you have to be able to self actualize. Most narcissist cannot, so it's not even in their mind to regret.
I agree! Go cold turkey as much as you hurt now, its worse to stay in it, I been there! Also learn the signs and move fast
They will keep doing more knowing that they have that power over you. When you take their apology and remain in their company.
exactly. we only can run nd disappear without notice. apology only gives them a sense of release but they wont change. forgiveness may make them believe what they did was ok. they dont have a sense of being wrong. run with the first nd single redflag. try them. challenge them hard before u allow them in ur space. no address, mail nd phone nr exchange.
Absolutely and they will push it further as long as they keep getting away with it
So is being a narcissist something that is in your genes a sickness or where does it come from
Exactly!! I didn't realize I was in rotation with this narc until I started seeing certain patterns. I realized that it wasn't normal it was like oh you're so this and that aka love bombing, to oh I don't like this and that by the way you're so on and on. Then the silent treatment whenever I didn't give him what he wanted, and I found myself reaching oh why the tantrums and stuff. Long story short I would let him back in, I was thinking oh this connection is so amazing. Then I started reading and listening to videos on trauma bonds, and realize I was in a narcissistic cycle. I finally blocked him on everything!!!!!
Always keeping it real and saving people’s lives. Don’t ever go back people. It’s detrimental to your health.
You're right! Staying in toxic relationships will not just stress you out, but can lead to some serious physical, emotional, and financial issues the longer you stay in situations like that. I've seen it happen.
I could not have said that better
i think at this point, the amount of lies they have said they dont even know what is reality and lies.
I agree
Me too.
Hello!!!
Don’t hear what I’m not saying.. they will absolutely flip the script and push their shame onto you. Not just shame they accumulated on themselves from your relationship.. but shame from their entire lives. Life long victims or their own doing.. but it’s everyone else’s fault and never their own.
“Your favorite self-aware diagnosed narcissist!”
cracks me up every time! 😂
Me too 😂 i love his selfawereness and selfirony
🤭
@@o.0.o.0 selfirony😂 imma use this!
LOL! I had a 1:1 w/Lee. I told him the same thing. Gotta get that Narc plug in. Tell us how you are our favorite. Flex those guns. 😂 You ARE our favorite Lee.❤ I am learning it is SO hard for them to A) Admit they have it. B) Talk about it. HUGE accomplishment for Lee. I have studied every in and out of the psychology because I’m married to an extreme Narcissist w/psychopath traits/behaviors. For Lee to tell us on camera is huge. And a HUGE gift to women like me and all people who are VICTIMS. ❤ Lee getting on camera each day is like a meth addict going to 3 meetings a day to stay clean. My own observation-I’m not a psychiatrist.
@@NicholeMeletioNikki this is such a valid point. Lee help us while helping himself stay on path 🙏🕊️
At first I thought Lee was so-so. Now I think he really helps the empaths. God bless man.
I'm dealing with this mess now! They blame u for the divorce. But they look u up and down in public 🙄
F Tham my sister you devers be happy have peace in your life no BS much love from UK ❤ 👊
Thank God that I didn't marry my ex narcissist. But of course they blame you for the breakup they blame us for everything.
10:37 forgiveness doesn’t mean allowance. They’ve twisted that word forgiveness to mean unconditional acceptance.. and that’s not at all what forgiveness is, nor how it works.
💯 forgiveness in a normal world is the deepest level of love. This sick demons just take that for acceptance.
When you forgive a narc they lose respect
Welcome in the upside down world of the agents smiths of satan 🤡
Shame affects ALL of us, except the majority of us have the backbone to face up to it and accept accountability.
No they have no regrets.
You can't regret if you have no feelings, they are empty shells
😫😫
I LOVE how you open like a narcissist and then have real talk because you're aware!
Some regret when their karma comes back to them!!!
Exactly.
Yup 👍🏼 my ex narc is going through hell lost everything and is miserable AF!!! And looking to me to help him
Narcissist think that you are weak when you keep forgiving them and keep taking them back. But i turned that around turn and left
God adjusts the balance sooner or later. You cannot break The Golden Rule" forever and expect to get away with it here or hereafter.
This is what has always helped me in healing
Not beat your ass with the olive branch 😂😂
I laughed so hard at that.🤣
Not the Olive Branch and beating my ass😂😂🤦♀️
😂
They even blame the kids it’s disgusting he refuses to sit in it he will blame anyone
Its not about regret they really think they have done or said NOTHING wrong 🤯
They never do
😫
I see the trend Behaviors in the family its so toxic!
When I learned what a narcissist was after dealing with one for 4 years. I figured out I have family that are narcissist
Am I dealing with a Narcissist with our son in-law or am I crazy? He comes from a very wealthy family. He pays for nothing. He changed right after they got married. First he had our daughter turn her phone off on their honeymoon and they were half way around the world. He said “your parents can talk to you through me. It will save them money. “ Then when they were home we were always on speaker when we called. Which was weird. My daughter said, “we just have an open relationship”. Then he told my wife to tell me, her dad that he didn’t want him kissing my daughter any more on the cheek or forehead like any dad does. This caused issues in the family, which i think is what he wanted. They end up moving away to live with his family and didn’t let us know that they were moving. There are other things as well. We hardly ever see our daughter. He seems to control everything she does. It has been so hard :(
This is VERY concerning and sounds like a typical abusive relationship where he needs to have full control!! Can you meet your daughter on her own , you could make up an excuse such as family emergency ect? He is trying to isolate her from all support network. This is WRONG. I’m not 100% sure he is Narcissistic but definitely controlling and abusive ❤ I will be praying for her and your family. Please keep us updated! You have ever right to be concerned. On second thoughts , it sounds like he could be Narcissistic in regards to him ‘changing’ after she got married. He was probably lovebombing her and then dropped his mask once he knew he had her . ❤
@@kaoshi_kutie Thank you. we have been at our whit's end going through all of this. Love-bombing definitely happened from him and his family. We had tickets to basketball and football games with his family, going out to eat and he was over all the time playing with her siblings and as soon as the marriage was over, it all stopped, and things seemed to change. She did come and see us recently and it was good, but we are careful to not disparage him because we believe he will use it against us, and it will push her away. She seems happy when we see her, but it just isn't the same as it was with her before all this. Right now, we are just trying to keep the communication lines open and wait and see if she will see what everyone else sees.
He is definitely controlling. That much need for control is a very bad sign. Unfortunately your daughter will just have to slowly figure it out, most likely. Once a controlling guy like that marries someone, they have already bypassed SO many boundaries with that person that it's hard for the controlled person to see the situation for what it is.
Sadly, I’m cracking up off your illustration about how giving them forgiveness equals no regrets. (The regret “rag” got thrown out the window) OMG! I experienced that and so I started saying, “NOOOOO, I DO NOT FORGIVE YOU”! Asking for forgiveness became a broken record for years so I eventually walked away to regain my dignity!! 🤦🏽♀️
Public smear campaign is worse ! Even if in better graces of Narc ~ the “ blind followers “ seem to still show me so much h8e ! Thank you 🙏 Lee ❤❤❤ Along with my BFF 👯♀️ we are listening to your programming & working on a healing ❤️🩹 journey 😊😊😊❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉
“You DON’T have to be a narcissist to be AB$V”. …Say That Again For The Folks In The Back
I appreciate your honesty though. People need to know this and HEAL
Hi Lee, I appreciate your honesty! And yes I do believe some of them have regret, but don't want to feel it and sadly enough turn it on you.
From what I have experienced no they don’t
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They are delusional. So regret for what? They were never the problem!
Hey man!! You are a hero in teaching everybody this! Well done to you becoming a better person.
God bless you for being honest and having the courage to get help and stay in therapy for seven years. Wishing you continued support success even if it means staying in therapy forever. Just do it and be prove of all your courage. Your a good example of man. Proud to watch you. And grateful to you.
God bless you as well
They Brian wash you into believing that you deserve that kind of treatment. Some times the victim gets so use to the treatment that they think, they don't deserve any better and they think they deserve that rotten awful treatment. The victim gets hooked onto the relationship and treatment and goes back over and over again. Good examples: where this is shown is the shows called Dirty John and Maid, both of these series are on Netflix.
All my ex does is deny deny deny🤦🏾♀️🤷🏿♀️.
The answer is no, my wife first would say I am sorry. But when she realized I wasn’t coming back, then she started back to blame me for our divorce
No it's awesome that you want to be better for yourself and your wife and children that is honorable
😂😂😂😂you’re truth humor helped me heal!
😆
Thanks so much I haven't seen the narc in 5yrs and you have just reinforced my resolve never ever to go back there
Sometimes I feel like you have been married to my husband 😂. Or he is text book narc, cov, or....oh yeah it's always my fault. I think the most ridiculous way he's blamed me is by saying, well we weren't having s*x. OH, and that gives a husband every right to sleep around. And I have been begging for that intimacy for too long. He tries to make me feel crazy on the daily. And listening to u centers me again and reminds me that I am not. Ty
Yup. But then what was the excuse when you were giving them sex?
And that reason is the reason why you stopped having sex with them in the first place 🤦🏽♀️
5 yrs pushing a heavy burden up a hill ,don't try to get in their heads,let it go ,like the song says,you cannot hold on
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I needed this dose of my ‘favourite self-aware narcissist’ today . Thank you Lee for your insight 😊
Usually, only when they're caught & exposed
High narcissistic tendencies is what I feel like my Ex has.. she was very good at saying to me what she needed me to do to make the r.s with her, the new supply and myself to work.. I was the one that always had to give and settle. I had to be toxic myself and crazy to even get back into a situation where I devalued myself so low and called it Love. Your forgiveness will turn into your own regret for the situation... what you allow will continue.
Straight UP.
Narcissists do what they do naturally, and do it very well without knowing the damage they have done! So to answer your question, NO they don't regret it, and have no remorse for what they have done!
Cheers to all 👍😎
Exactly!! I didn't realize I was in rotation with this narc until I started seeing certain patterns. I realized that it wasn't normal it was like oh you're so this and that aka love bombing, to oh I don't like this and that by the way you're so on and on. Then the silent treatment whenever I didn't give him what he wanted, and I found myself reaching oh why the tantrums and stuff. Long story short I would let him back in, I was thinking oh this connection is so amazing. Then I started reading and listening to videos on trauma bonds, and realize I was in a narcissistic cycle.. All and all he was juggling me and his wife(that he lied and said they're divorced aka they were just separated), he kept saying they were just co-parenting. So his birthday weekend he was posting and made it look like he was by himself, and the that Monday she posted them and he was tagged, so now I'm blocked because I hearted and commented. We talked the day after but he kept deflecting and saying I don't know why she posted it, so because I wasn't buying it he hug up in my face I blocked him from EVERYTHING!!!!!!!
everytime she was disrespectful id just walk away then she would return some how with a hoover id forgive go back recieve more insults so id just walk away again without a fight she said i was ghosting her.... im not sure what planet shes from but my planet says if you not welcome dont stay just walk away, im not going to allow someone to use me as a punching bag insults or other wise its self respect that i walk away from that. would you stay in company where someone is constantly picking on you?
Around 5:00 mark actually happened to me and 10 days later I'm still getting guilt-tripped or blamed. Never known anyone like her.
😮💨😮💨
They never regret anything but not hurting you more before they left you go or before you leave. Plus if you left they to busy trying to find a way back into your life to hurt you more.
I gave my husband so many chances it was the worst thing I ever did. Towards the end I could barely motivate myself to get up or go out . Narcissits are very bad people
I laugh when he said I break my own heart! I wish I took that as a red flag
The Only regret they have is that they got caught Red Handed. The Only thing I’ll ever do is to Forgive myself and going Zero Contact with them for good. Therefore Narcissists don’t give a Flying F**K for the things they’ve done to us.
Can you do a vid on the narcs sense of entitlement please. Why do they have it etc.
GREAT JOB LEE, KEEP WORKING ON SELF, 7 YEARS AND KEEP GOING, THAT IS GROWTH...GREAT JOB. 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
Thanks so much
@@MentalHealness YOU ARE SO WELCOME, YOU GOT THIS.
with narc. arround, pleease save documents nd chats for evidence. it wont help towards them. but be ready that a narc brings u to court.
No they don’t. My parents were shocked when I told them I want a break from them and they asked me why. I gave them a long list why and they were like “thanks for feedback🥰👍 “ LOL
They'll beat yo ass with that switch, lol.
Thanks Lee. The olive branch is true.
You’re welcome
CONGRATULATIONS LEE❤❤❤❤❤❤
Thank you
A narcissist is always aware of what they are doing. If you call them on it and even when you a proof they will call you delusional
Yup mine hit me in a argument. Was more like her having a rage for some reason in the beggining of our relationship. I was just walking by her in my halway, she instantly spun around and punched. Then acted like didnt know why, thought i was putting my hands on her from past trauma from her ex. Then she cried on the porch as i was done and taking her home but i chose not to and felt sad for her and conduzed on how she could flipped a switch so fast. She then blsmmed it wasnt her, thats not who she is etc etc. Fact,i never got punched again but she still did some toxic mistreatment towards me and at me and especially with her words and tried to make me believe it was me and my words
Man, mine bit me. We were playing around, both trying to tell a story to a friend. I put my hand over her mouth so I could say it first. It was all in fun, we were laughing. Then she bit the hell out of me and just held on. Wouldn't let go. Then the same shit you said. Never done that before, past triggers, etc. Crying that she lost me, complete mental breakdown over it. Never did it again, but yeah. Never made me feel like my opinion mattered. Controlled everything from my finances to my friends, not letting me go anywhere without her.
@zaccheatum2786 mine was so confuzing. I never stopped her from going anywhere. Sonetimes i had questions etc but then she try to guilt me even when she went alone and something happened. Told me i controlled her and not one time gave her any demands or ultimatums. Then i go do something myself money related the only time besides doing errands for her and she would pick a fight if she wasnt feeling good etc and try to tell me i dont care bout her and all that stuff because I was working. But if she needed to go do something it always had more purpose then me or if i felt she was avoiding time could have together i better not speak of it or im just whatever toxic projecting things she wanted to spew at me then she would block,make it out im causing her to do it then be days or days later up and break up. Stuff like that. My situation was alot more messed up then this though. Include spirits, god, her special gifts and she is pure love ontop of all this also things tried to make me feel less then because of or not to her level in the end. At first i was so great even with her rages and after but later it was she is healed from church and changed and its all me
@zaccheatum2786 i hardly went anywhere with mine. It was so difficult or i was afraid she would just fight with me. Even a trip to the store something could trigger a horrible attitude. She blsmed me not going places with her to. I wanted to plan, take off work etc to go places, she expected me to just up and it be easy last week or 2 notice and me just want to go with her ideas. When something went wrong on her personal trips and her kids she would blame me for not being there so either way i got attacked for something. Good enough, not good enough etc
@@zaccheatum2786 wth she bit you and wouldn’t let go … that’s crazy
Im new to realizing what I've been experiencing and defining it as narcissistic behavior and I'm struggling
stay strong
Stay strong and find your new support group and / or back to your loved ones.
I understand completely. It took me years to wrap my head around it & finally accept what was done to me.
Thank you It is the most unbearable pain to want someone who can careless and treats you horrible and then acts like nothing happened
@@UrModeDefinesMyChoice2Flip The most horrible thing is that those people give you the fault for their wrong-doings. (For me personally that is very bad). The whole world is guilty but never them.
No I really don't think so
Remorse is a weakness for the narcissist
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They don't regret nothing. They might regret a little bit for a short while but not enough to change.
I would rather they regret losing me then me regretting going back and wasting more of my life.
Like a Cheshire cat, you disappear, LMAO
Narcissistic ignorance after leaving him
First time I left him because of his lies and gaslighting, he hooovered me back promising he changed. But he kept lies, cheating and became worse. I left him second time for good, decided not to go back whatever he says. But this time he never called or message. This is a double trauma because he never loved me. I wouldn't go back but I needed to be missed. The slightest feeling of revenge for what I had been through . It hurts deeply. He kept living his life ingnoring me . I left him, not he. And I forgot to mention that when he hoovered me back I stopped giving him any supply and often he was angry or dislike that. Now I have the feeling he is released and free of me. This hurts too.
I don’t know anyone that can keep up all the lies yet claim memory loss
He held on a grouge for the past 40 years and I didn't know. PTSD, Crack, Alcohol played a factor. I walked back into a land mine . Very narcissistic. Through me out like the trash. 46 years
Unless they realize they have lost a good source of supply
Hi! Thank you for all the information you share, it is helping me a lot with the grief or a past relationship with a narcissist. I wanted to ask you something related to regret… what made you change/work on yourself? What was your story/breaking point? I think a video telling your story and understanding what triggered a diagnosed narcissist to take accountability about their actions is very interesting and found help many others to understand how a narcissist mind works!
I get on with my ex family members. But feel awkward to keep seeing them and not him
Lee I am so thankful For this channel I was in a narcissistic relationship for over 3 years very mentally abusive just a mean individual I am trying to learn to love myself again been over a year I heard recently he's looking for me again gives me anxiety but
I will not let him in no matter what again He needs help he lived a complete separate life of lies All he did was lie to me he was married the whole time and I think he cheated on me as well..there is just soo much😢😮
Now, we're getting into the quality of character of a narc. I have likened this to FPofBelAir. The intro with FP getting caught with the spraypaint by the cop. Gestures what? what's wrong. check it.
BRRROOOOO
YOU HAD ME AT SALT BAE OF REGRET
I never heard from my exs for years so good sign I did have 3 exs come bk out of subpiles at time they didn't bother after when when couldn't use me. If look death notices u might find ur exs if don't hear from them .
Exactly 💯 they think they DID NOTHING AT ALL MEANWHILE!!!!
And they will never give up....they love empaths because empaths are quick to forgive.... Stand firm DO NOT ALLOW THEM BACK IN!!!!! and get some therapy your dam selves some of y'all need to ask why you wanna keep abuse🚩🚩🚩
I think once my ex can come to terms with being forced to sleep with his sister out of bullying n shame n guilt n fear as a baby then they can start to feel why they do the damage but it’s unlikely he’ll confront his sister n being forced to sleep together then he’ll let go of blame n his massive guilt around where his addiction started at 2 yrs old being tortured n bullied by his older sicko brother who was like his father n his father being a good Christian n hiding what her children were force into for their severe lack of weakness n parenting!
I feel him constantly begging me to reach out n I hear his thoughts n sick mind!
Your pain is their gain
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I will never know but likely NOT
Seems like the more they regret their behavior, the more angry and bitter they become towards the person. So if they're seething at a ex, maybe run right away next time, lol.
I never thought about that but you are so true. You just described my ex narc
I’m dealing with this now and he did everything from physical abuse to cheating, lying, manipulation, and he lives with me. And he tries to make me feel guilty for telling him he can just go. He blames me for everything, he said I have no respect yet he cheated and when I tell him it hurts and how would he feel if I cheated on him, he will tell me to go cheat on him then and beg me to have sex with someone else to justify his mistreatment. He threatens to leave and will pack up his clothes likes he’s going to and I will say go ahead and go, he will stay and tell me that he can’t believe I’m throwing him out. Like what!?
I still kick myself tor I
Enduring 30 years worth of evil vindictive abuse from my malignant narcissist husband. He blamed me for broken appliances. He blamed me for everything. Even told me after my cancer treatment that he wish I would have died. I cried for days. Non stop. And he continued on with his day to day and never ever apologized for any thing he said or did. Always told me " he's gonna make himself happy" and he did. Blatantly cheating like I did notvexist. Lying all the time for no reason. It was like living with an evil 2 year old brat. He always made me feel anxious, with delight.
No
Your right on.point with everything you have said 💯
My son's father ghost for months then comes back like nothings wrong. when I bring up or ask why he disappeared he blames me but in the same sentence says he know all I wanted to do was give but his pride got the best of him. Then goes back to me saying i won't give up on him years ago. If i mention something he has said, he gets upset and say i always bring up the past... Now that i 've set boundaries he claims i hated him the whole relationship smh
DONT GET WHIPPED WITH AN OLIVE BRANCH🎋🎋🎋 ...I AM SCREAMIMG🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 WHIP IT GOOD
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A narcissist will never regret doing what they did to you cause it’s never their fault . The only thing the regret is loosing you as they’re supply
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They have to actually acknowledge they were wrong for them to regret it...good luck with that one