First! And also I don’t have depression however any time my parents see me sad they always do there best to comfort me. There the best, and I wish everyone had parents like them, especially after watching this video ❤
Definitely wasn't the best, but I managed~ 😅 Since I already left a comment describing my experience, I won't delve too deep. But I'm trying my best to forgive my parent because she was going through things too. She did and said a lot of things back then, and ignored me a large portion of the time (I could be trying to talk to her and while I was mid-sentence, she would just leave the room), but she's treating me much better than before. At this point, I'm more upset with myself in a way, because I *want* to forgive her, but every time I think about it, it just rekindles the resentment I felt back then. I wish I could describe it better, but I can't quite put the feelings into words. It's a process, but I don't want to be angry forever. Hopefully, I can move forward soon 💜
Yep,they do not think of anything.They just find excuses to escape of what they think is a “oh-so sweet story”when in reality,it is vital for their child
@@Just.A.Goober.VentingI hate when they say that to me because I have no good comebacks so I just sit in silence. Also, my dad thinks depression isn’t real.
Also saying stuff like, "You've got food, clothes, a house, etc. Be grateful for what you have." Yes, because depression means we're automatically ungrateful for unappreciative of what we have and what's been done for us 😒.
Thank you for your comment. I think videos like this can be educational for parents, if they are willing to learn how to speak with their children. Many parents assume and expect children to be okay without really think about what they're saying so we hope we can spread awareness through this type of content.
@@Psych2go can opening up to your parent about how you feel or about something or something you don't like and they say "i dont care" or "your just feeling sorry for yourself" lead to depression or fueling depression?
@AryannaMckay If that's what's happening to you, that's very unfortunate.. I don't exactly know your situation so I'm not sure if it leads to or fuels depression but it certainly doesn't help... For some reason, our parent's generation treats feelings as weaknesses and encourages us to only suppress them. Maybe it's their own upbringing. However, I sincerely hope that you have somebody you can talk to regarding how you feel about things. No person should ever feel dismissed or unheard about how they feel, certainly not from their parents..
@@Psych2go thank you. its usually when i tell my step-dad I feel like a bad person or something like that he says "you're just feeling sorry for yourself" and I've told him about how I feel about some things and she said he doesn't care and sometimes when I ask him stuff like "what do you need help with" or "Where are we going?" He'll tell met to stop asking stupid questions or to not worry about it- So I was just wondering if that fueled depression or anxiety, ty for letting me know
I once saw my mother skipped the ad about how to take care of your children during their teen phase, it was so cold, so careless, it's so simple but it broke my heart. At that time I have depression, but nobody seemed to care. Edit: I cringed when I saw this comment after 4 months
As a mom…def noted. It really is the little things. If everyone paid attention to the little things then we wouldn’t have bigger problems to wear on us EVERYDAY.
@@McsKlee._7 please don’t dismiss your moment of empathetic insight so easily with scoff. You’ve enlightened several mothers me being one to take note of the algorithm a little more. It was trying to speak to your mother at that moment and while she ignored it…you did not. And the result was another arrow to the back for you when that connection never went through and your call for help wasn’t answered. Don’t cringe. Stand by your words. They meant a lot to us
it hurts the most when you tell your parents how you feel and they start saying how they gave you everything and how ungrateful you are and that you should be grateful
I'm 45 now, but when I was a teenager, I was severely depressed. I tried talking to my mom about it, and her reaction was devastating. She actually got angry with me, told me I was thinking too negatively, said I was a "stinkin thinker", said I needed to read more books about positive thinking. Toxic positivity was a huge thing in our home growing up. After that day, I learned that I could never talk to my mom about anything deep - I felt betrayed. My dad is dismissive about anything emotional or anything having to do with anyone else but himself. I kept to myself. To this day, I still have depression and anxiety, but I know now I can talk to my sister. I'm coming to understand that I can only have a superficial relationship with my parents.
once I read in a book, if we don't healing our past and make peace with that (this include our parents) we never gonna bright in our 100%, talking to them, let them know about your past feeling or just forgive them because maybe in that time they weren't prepared enough to deal with that kind of situation, is the best way, after that you will lose a huge amount of weight on your back, I did it, and it worked. Cheers.
I'm 32 and had the same experience in my youth when it comes to toxic possitivity. I feel like I can only be a bit more open about problems to my siblings and close friends because of it.
My parents all ways push me aside and my dad told me one time when I opened up to him about my depression (I normally don’t) he said “your being such a pitty part” it wrecked now I don’t open up 😢
When I was younger, I was diagnosed with MDD (major depressive disorder) as well as my sister. I had a very important toy, I got when I went to Sydney, Australia for my 7th birthday. It was a lioness teddy. I’ve kept it so so so long!! I’ve cried into her, screamed into her, slept with her and played with her. She’d been the most precious little thing I’ve ever had if I hadn’t gotten her, who knows where’d I’d be today.
I have a toy like that. He is a dog named Risky. I’m lucky I still have him. I have had him for 6 years now. I can’t imagine what it would be like without him. He’s my emotional support, despite being a non-sentient being. I would do the same things you did to your toy.
I have three plushies, one is a paw pateol chase plush, one is a white dog with hearts on it, and the other is a small beige dog, i jeep them close, kinds like your lioness!❤
My parents always say that my depression is from my phone when in reality, it's what is holding me back from ending it. Social media is the only thing that makes me happy
They have a point. I disagree with 2:34. It's most likely not the main cause of depression, but it definitely fuels it to an extent. It's a fact that excessive social media use, ESPECIALLY tiktok and instagram worsen anxiety and depression. Try to gradually decrease the time you spend on your phone.
My parents love comparing me and my childhood to themselves and what they went through always telling me that I'm lucky and others have it worse. They didn't take my depression seriously for 3 years and even after being diagnosed still don't fully support me and my mom often puts down my mental illness. Started crying watching this because my mom has literally told me several times that me being anxious or upset is ruining my families time doing things. My mom often makes me the scapegoat too lol. I can't wait to move out
I remember my mom saying "I tried giving you the best life I could, but you still ended up with depression." She didn't mean it in a hurtful way, and she was more frustrated with herself than anything else, as she also has depression, but it still made me feel really bad. Thankfully I still felt like I could talk to my parents, which definitely helped. One thing that is super important is having a good support system, even if it's just one or two people. My friend helped me out of the darkest time in my life, and I am so grateful to have a friend like her. Even if you're parents aren't there for you, intentionally or not, please reach out to someone you can trust
Dad writing: my daughters RUclips was open. Now I have this channel on my account. What a one in a million chance to see this video. Helps me understand my oldest a lot more on how interact with her. Thank you very much this video. Now to understand them a bit more.
I want my parents to see this and read my comment and how much they are destroying my own bubble and maybe they should ACTUALLY TELL THE SCHOOL THAT EVERY SINGLE FRICKING TIME I TELL THE SHSO HOW I FEEL SHE LITERALLY REPEATS THE QUESTION OF HOW I AM, IT HAS GOTTEN TO THE POINT WHERE I HAVE SO MANY WORDS I WANT TO SCREAM AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS
Please, if you're having a bad day, just remember that somewhere in this world, theres still someone eho cares for you, someone might like you but is too embarassed to talk about it. So dont ever think that you have lost everything
these points hit a bit too harshly. I relate too much of this yet my parents were all “Depression starts at thirteen, you can’t be depressed, you’re just sad, grow up.” When I was 8-9. so it hurt realising that i was actually depressed. I can’t take it anymore
The worst thing is when you talk about it with your friends and They tell you “try to talk with your parents” like I’ve been trying but not anybody has The fortune to have parents that listen to you…
I would love to see my parents seeing this video, after hearing all the things said here, I relate to it very much and I can definitely agree it is fuelling my depression. Parents should always focus on their children's mental health
I gotta say: my depression years started when I was 9, not surprisingly, my parents didn't care about it and said I was thinking about it too much, I'm16 now (soon to be 17 in 3 months) and it never left me. Personally, I'm an introvert, so I don't say anything about it anymore, but it has stuck with me throughout these few years
i am 10 years old and I got depression' s all signs idk I was going to hurt myself but I just comedown myself I know how it feels when your mom sister both have depression and mom don't understand 😢💔💔
Same started at nine to my mom said I'm just a little girl who has nothing to worry about also my cousin's depression started at nine I was 8 at the time I could tell she had it cus she cried about a lot of things I wondered why but now I know 😭
Thank you for this video. Having parents that don’t understand mental health & depression is also a lot more complicated when they’re from other countries that stigmatize mental illnesses. While my parents are good people and aren’t strict, they do have a tendency to compare with other when I feel bad and they don’t know have to actually help with my struggle with depression.
I'm from Romania and lots of people like my family beleve that depression is something people do to themself... I've been suffering for over a year now it feels like it will be a very long Journey...And I don't realy have any real friends either...
@@TheForbiddenAngel-x5g The saddest thing, is that partialy they are right. technicaly people do depression to themselves, but they cant just "stop being so negative" or I dont actualy know how do they say it in english. When a turtle gets on it's back, yes they do it for themselves, but they can't just easily undo it. I personaly was missunderstood, for a long time, but recently, after years of persuation, I managed to convince my arents, that I should get a psychologist. I havent even met her jet, but I do feel better already. I'm just saying that you should never lose hope, whatever disney bullshit does this sound.
I love my parents yet sometimes they made me feel bad for trying to open up and trying to actually tell them how I feel.. The same answer I'd always hear was "maybe if you weren't so isolated to your room all the time than you wouldn't feel so depressed and sad.." It just made me bottle up my emotions and never open up to them again
It's difficult when you're self isolating because of depression. I know it's difficult to do, but try to put yourself out there, yea it hurts to be vulnerable, but you can't make true friends if you're not willing to weed through the bad ones. Easier said than done I know. Try going into discord chat rooms of subjects you're passionate about and talk to people there. Maybe do something like VR chat where you can actually verbally talk to people, you don't need VR to play VR chat. You can play it on a pretty basic computer. If you can't do that then unfortunately you'll have to resort to meeting new people in the real world, something I'm still struggling with getting the courage to do personally. I hope this unsolicited advice helps you, and I wish you luck in finding some friends that are worthy of your friendship. 🙏🩷
Dude, I know that feeling... It's even worse when you're parents are the one who you not want to talk to, but remember there are people here who support you ^_^
Totally agree and feel the same, I really don’t trust people they always are selfish and self absorbed so they don’t REALLY Care about others situations. Yet on the flip side I genuinely cared about others and tried to be there for them and help out.
After watch this i finally realized what's happening with me.every time i try to do something to Joy my mom, grandma really knows how to ruin, always make me angry with them when i was 16 to 18.
i realized how much i relate to this and wanted to thank you for this video. i've been struggling with depression, and after telling my parents how i feel, they complain that im being dramatic, that i have a bad mindset, and that im too weak. i lost myself after that. i hope more parents can see it and realize depression doesn't have to be caused by some major traumatic event.
I am crying 😢 while watching this. I'm now 46 years old but I can still feel depressed and give me flashbacks almost every day. I made a lot of bad decisions because I wasn't aware of my anxiety and depression until recently. Thank you for this channel
@@Psych2go I went for counseling and started reading and research about our brain 🧠 functions which gives me idea 💡 how to cope in more healthy ways. I started going to church because I need spirituality and heal my soul. It's just brother now who needs help because he's been alcoholic. And I constantly reminding him that he has menta illness because we really had chaotic childhood 😭
I'm sorry to hear that. Listen whatever your going through. your not a bad person for making mistakes we all make them even ones that could change our whole life. don't let people including your inner critic let you down. You are already on the right path to recovery and healing dont give up my friend
Thank you for sharing your experience with us. It's great to hear that you're proactively working to improving your mental health. As @robinfoxstudios57 said, I hope you take the time to recover and heal and that you don't give up. We appreciate you for taking the time to share your story with us ❤️
My partner was in this exact situation. Things could have ended catastrophically, but I and my whole family stepped up to advocate for him, so his family would understand his situation. Thankfully we got through to them, and now he’s receiving professional help and things are slowly improving almost constantly. This was all super brave of him to do. He’s a lot stronger than he gives himself credit for.
I couldn't tell someone like that. It's too scary. My whole life, people have mistreated me. Kids, teachers, my mom's friends, my family and my mom. The only one that cared about me was my grandpa. Also, my cat, Grady. I have depression but I just can't tell anyone why.
as a trans, gay, (and a bunch of other stuff, with my identity and otherwise), this video helped me a lot. sometimes i talk to my dad about dysphoria, like example height dysphoria (i feel awkward, since i was born female that im shorter than the cisgender guys in my classes), my dad would say something like "all teenagers want to be taller, you're fine", or im about to have a panic attack over the fact that i cant figure out who i am, identity, friends, school, if i want to go to college, careers, chores, homework ect. my mom will come down and quietly but firmly tell me to go to bed which only makes everything worse until the point that i fully shut down and she thinks im ignoring her. this channel helps me know im not alone, even though this video was made a year ago. thank you
The whole time I watched, I cried becuz the little person who is supposed to be the viewer is me all the time. I feel like this all the time and don't want to. Thank you for making this. I really appreciate it. 💜
number 2 really hit close to home for me. When I would tell my mom that i was struggling, she would shut it down and just keep making excuses and invalidating my feelings. She would say i have a loving family, nice things etc. so i didn't need a reason to be depressed or sad. Thank you for this video
So, im homeschooled, and in fifth grade i did morning meeting, basically morning meeting was a zoom meeting at 8:00 (that didnt teach anything) and was just an overview of stuff, and we did self affirmations, (they kinda helped) but what the worst thing was is that they literally said that "happiness is a choice and that if you arent making that choice then make it" and "today is a great day to have a great day" like bro- I CANT CONTROL MY FLIPPING EMOTIONS- IF I COULD I WOULDNT BE DEPRESSED! YOU DONT *KNOW* HOW IT FEELS!
Ugh... This reminds me a lot of my childhood/teenage years unfortunately... I was compared to my older sister, for not being as productive or organised as she was from my mother and that led me to have insecurities and a terrible depression... Our father was missing, but when he found out he became more supportive than my mother ever was with me.
its true my parents didn't even want me in the first place. And my mom even said that she didn't even want another child so it makes me feel like a burden.😞
I watch your videos to help me be a better person. I'm a parent with depression and I don't want my child feeling the same way I do or at least I can try to be as supportive as I possibly can for when they need me
Loved being told for years since I was 12 onwards that I was being pathetic and there was nothing wrong with me. I’m now 20 and only just got the help I needed.
I’m 12, and I have really bad depression, and it’s surprising to see that this video basically covers all of what my parents have been doing. Every single time something is mentioned in this video I would be like “ya, that’s my parents, all right.” I honestly wish that I could show them this video.
Because of your age it will be difficult for a while, also because you are living with your parents for few more years. But what I can tell you as an adult who grew up depressed (I'm not trying to impose thing on you, I swear)... Try to do as much as you can for your independence, what I mean by that is learn about your mental health and how you can improve it, how having emotional intelligence helps you have healthy relationships, try to take care of yourself to the best of your daily capacity. Also think about the future and how you can be independent, is good to rely on people too. Try to get someone who can be a guide for you, think about scholarships if you can or whatever external resources that will help you in the future. There's a lot of free or low cost resources around, just do a lil research! If you decide on a path and you change your mind or if you fail that's also ok, life is not exact or perfect.... It's a lot for a 12 year old, I know, but I wish someone (an adult) would have told me at least something like this when I was your age and I was feeling lost. So, I hope this doesn't come accross as annoying. ♥
Same here just not to forget your not alone someothers feeling same thing to me i have nobody i dont friends seeing this video makes me feel better that im not alone by the way im 15
As a parent, I appreciate these videos. It makes me more aware and makes sure that I am the best parent I can be while my child approaches their teen years. I am happy that I would never do these things to them, I have realised. Thanks :)
that's great. We have a 6 year old son and he gets told often that it's ok to be scared, to cry, to be sad, to tell us how he feels and of course that he is loved.
I know I'm super late but watching videos like this make me realize just how lucky I am to have parents like mine. I don't have depression but I do have a few other conditions such as OCD, and my parents made sure to take the time to research everything about my conditions and respond appropriately. Every negative thing here is something my parents either don't do at all or change into a positive way. For instance with the comparing I'm a writer and so my parents instead of saying “Why aren’t you as good as -” will instead say “Wow! Your writing is even better then -” filling the blank with my favorite writer and it makes me feel really good. As a kid I talk to myself the way my parents talk to me, and I know every kid does as well and because my parents shower me with affection and positivity I talk to myself the same way. I can only imagine the devistation whenever your parents instead of being kind and loving only ever talk to you with disdain and annoyance. Whenever I'm sad my parents instead of making it worse will team up to make it better for mem and they always make it better not worse. How horrible must a parent be to only add to there children’s struggle instead of help? I’m still young so I struggle with things but my parents are always there for me, and it makes me so heartbroken that my parents are the exception not the rule. I hope every parent watches this video and realizes how much it effects there kids and becomes more like my parents.
Same here. I'm lucky to have such loving and kind parents that always look out for me, or listen to my struggles so they can help. So it makes me sad to know that some parents out there only end up ruining or hurting their children. For anyone who reads this, I hope you have a bright future and know that there will always be people that are kind, loving and are willing to care for you.
Sounds like a very loving and healthy bond between all of you. So glad to hear that generational traumas can be broken and children can be loved, supported and have their feelings validated. Hope you would continue the tradition for your own children and help create a world with healthy parents and healthy children. 🌎
wow, im happy for you :> I wish my parents were less negative towards me because I started blaming myself for everything habitually and then my parents are like "why are you so negative" like what??
When I was nine or something, I had a real breakdown. I was crying because I felt horrible about how I treated people, what was happening in my life, etc. I just found something to cry about. This went on for an hour, until my mom came in and talked kindly to me, hugged me, and snuggled me. I've always wished that could happen again, even if only just once. I loved that. It's like fuel for me to keep on going. My mom isn't a very sympathetic person, so the days she is extra nice, I remember them.
I'm 36 years old and I've been battling with depression for 20 years entirely on my own, because my parents always said I was just being "full of myself" and "overly vain" and I was told things like, "you're not that important in the grand scheme of things", "the world doesn't revolve around you", and "stop being so full of nonsense." I never fit in anywhere, never had friends, I was always overshadowed by my brothers in everything, and I feel like an absolute and complete failure because I still live with my parents, and have been unemployed for 10 of the last 17 years, and my depression hasn't gotten better. If anything, it's getting worse because of my age and lack of accomplishments, all the while I feel like I'm treated as a servant which isn't helped by the fact that people seem to be forgetting my name. They say the names of my brothers, cousins, or niece, and nephew, before they get to mine. My parents, in one way or another did ALL of these to me my whole life. They never encouraged me cultural or artistic pursuits; quite the opposite, they were always overly critical, dismissive, or just outright told me I had no talent or aptitude for what I was attempting. The ONLY thing they ever encouraged me in was a career as a chef, but I believe that was so that everybody would have an excuse not to cook, do dishes, or clean the kitchen; a belief supported by them telling me, "A chef cleans his kitchen." I'm 36 years old, I can't play a musical instrument, can't draw to save my life, I don't sing or dance, I have no interest in acting... in fact, I don't actually know what I AM interested in. All I ever do is try to find ways of making money and play video games.
As someone half your age I'm not gonna lie I'm scared to get to that point too. That's why I'm never gonna stop drawing. I think that's the only worthwhile thing I've done over the past decade; draw and tell stories. Even so, I don't think it's too late for you to find something, new or old, that you're passionate for, like acting or a swim class. Maybe it won't even make you money, but if you aren't having any fun at all I don't think you're living! When it all comes rushing back to you after you set down the controller or x outta yt like me, then you know how much that sucks. So, I guess that but doubled. That isn't related, btw. Please don't take off marks for I just wanted to say it. Good wishes
Wow I am sorry your having to go through that. You have every right to move out of that toxic household. Your 36 you can just leave and never come back. If you want you have every right to cut ties with your entire family. There’s no need to have space in your life for such toxic people. Your 36 and you deserve to live your own life. You can totally move out of the house asap. No one should be forced to live with their parents at that age. Your old enough to be the parent of a teenager
I am MUCH younger than you....but as someone who is also battling with depression, I can understand you. It's true that only people who suffer through this state, knows how exhausting it is. Most of the people don't see it as a real problem, when it is far more complicated than that, and just a few words like - "Be normal" " Stay happy" "It's okay".... doesn't always solve the problem. Some people try to help for the first two or three days but then they start treating us the same toxic way, frustrated about "why is she not healing when I've said sooo many supportive words to her."..... It's just that many people just don't see it as a real issue or are willing to help but don't really end up helping. So, my point is that, I've reached out for help, but ended up making my mental health even worse. So, we need to heal ourselves in this case. You said you play video games all day right? Because you're playing it all day, I can bet you're a pro in gaming. You can't tell me otherwise. So how about you stream your gaming skills on RUclips or post different gaming videos. All you have to do is have patience. Because RUclips takes a lot of time to blow up a channel. You just have to be consistent with uploading videos. However it'll be worth it. Don't worry, I know we all feel like it's a dead end and there's no way out. But trust me, there's always a door right in front of you. You just have to try hard to open it. You will win this battle, I will too, we all will. Just know, that when the world refuses to help, you still have yourself with you.
hey you don't want to see my stick figures! 🤣😂🤣 I can't subtract, divide, multiply on paper, never mind algebra, trig or chem. Playing video games is the best, I've been at it since 1986 at least. I would really recommend you reach out within your community for some kind of support program where you can gain some independence from those emotional vampires as they are ruining your life (as even you have admitted). There are people like you out there, you are not alone (so cliché but it's true). For the love of Mario just get in touch with a depression support group and they will help you become who you are meant to be. Oh and btw It's OK OK OK to be mediocre! It's ok not to have ambition to manage corporate takeovers. I'm fine with what I have and what I am (I gave up a career as a lawyer and now work in a museum and a language centre and I'm studying at the age of 42 to do these jobs). You're fine the way you are. Let us know if you've found some support otherwise I'm sure someone could help you (I am in Germany).
0:59 I feel like parents forget that they can just look it up, read a book about it, or ask someone about it. Instead, they either forget that or just choose not to. I feel sick from this...
Timestamps 1). They are constantly comparing me 1:07 2). They shut down moments of vulnerability 2:05 3). They guilt-trip you 3:08 4). They are overly strict 3:55 5). They blame you for everything 4:32 Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
Timestamps: 0:00 Intro 1:08 1: They’re constantly comparing you. 2:06 2:They shut down moments of your vulnerability. 3:10 3: They guilt-trip you. 3:56 4: They are over strict. 4:33 5: They blame you for everything. 5:21 Outro
Yeah I've got strict parents who don't really understand mental health I think they try but they've got a lot of bad behaviors ingrained into their personality and it's getting really tiring
I feel SO weird. My mother is supportive of me, she accepts me, she HELPS me and yet I’m still not okay. I am so confused by my own emotions. My dad does games and gets mad easily. He isn’t the best but he never hurts me directly. He loves me, he wants me to succeed but I still compare myself to other, do things that I wasn’t even taught by the world to do. My life may be odd since I have divorced parents but that’s never gotten me in a bad place before, nothing has changed. Things have gotten BETTER. I disregarded therapy since “I’m fine” but after that I wasn’t fine. I asked for therapy now but… we just don’t have the money. I cut off bad people, but I live with my dad. I’m not crazily healthy but I’m not unhealthy to the point I’m sick. I feel fine but there’s just moments. I can’t stop myself from doing the things I know are wrong. But I’ve been trying. I’m getting better but I’m still stuck at a point I don’t know what to do. Any tips or is anyone able to tell me what’s wrong with me?? I’m just really lost at trying to fix myself right now.
Some of these points hit a little too close to home. As a teen I was told to “stop pretending to be a tortured artist” quite a bit. It was really tough. If I didn’t have a “real reason” to be sad, then I was dismissed and was assumed I was just pretending to get attention
I relate to this very much.. my chest often tighten because I kept things to myself since my parent won't understand. That ended up me bottling things up inside. It's getting suffocating, really.
I wish all my problems went away. I can’t breath because I have too much. My grandma is dead, I had to abandon my friends and move, middle school is miserable, and self worth is a question always left unanswered, and I was once considered a selfish person because I am open about my feelings. I hate life
I remember hearing the first one. "You have a good life, you could be someone dying of cancer." That turned into me eventually replying that I'd rather be dying from cancer than this. And the phone was my escape. I reached out to people on the internet, but there was only so much they could do. I didn't have a therapist and because they blew off my depression I didn't have anyone and my mom isolated me, and I eventually spiraled downwards. I remember having a breakdown because of a toxic boss being on my ass at work. Instead of being supported I was just told to grow up... that's when I started cutting... I started self harming as means of escape or a cry for help and it got worse. I started drinking whenever I could get a hold of alcohol and I cutted more. It wasn't until I had a major breakdown and almost killed myself that they finally realized this was serious and I got the mental help and support I needed, therapy and medication. 😩
@@alinx261 yeah I'm doing a lot better than I did then. I took a chance at faith and I moved out. I still have struggles here and there, but not as bad as back then. I've definitely improved a lot since then
My parents did these to me on the last years of my childhood, Im 12 now and it truly hurts that they're the same as before. But i let it slide because in our country, explaining your side is disrespectful and i had to bottle up all those feelings because i have to avoid those threats of disowning me. I still vividly remember when my mom said "I'll keep saying hurtful words" because of a small problem. I understand that my mom was struggling because she had to take care of me when she was young, her words hurt and she doesn't understand why i dont trust her because she was also pranking me alot; this one time she said my dad didn't arrive in time to pay my exam permits and i cried because school was the only safe plsce for me and i didn't wanna skip exams, she also pranked me many times like this and i lost count. I feel really worried on how she grew up when she had me and I'm really worried about her childhood because i dont know what influenced her into this. She also dismissed my eating problems and proceeded to say that im skinny and i don't need to worry. I feel really hurt and i don't know why she treats me like this. (I struggle with expressing problems and deep stuff so sorry for the constant switch of topics)
The point about nothing ever being good enough hit me hard. My father was that way. When I first learned to use the computer to print out a story I had written, he didn't even read it, he just started marking it up with tabbing and spacing "mistakes" I had made. When I couldn't keep up in school because I was also in TAG, I was told I just had to work harder. When I had a 3.7 GPA and made the honor roll, I was told I should have made it to high honors. And as an adult, when I said I wanted to work in day care so I could be close to my young child while I was working, I was told I should get a "real job" in an office somewhere. Ironically, while all of this was happening my brother was being told he wasn't smart and well-mannered like I was. My father passed several years ago and my brother and I are mid-life and have a great relationship, but those scars never go away.
I’m 13, and I came out to my parents about 4 months ago after I had been doing SA for a long time. Even though it was the scariest thing I’ve ever had to tell them, I dicided it was the best thing because I knew I needed help. Before I did this I reached out to one of my good friends for support and how to tell them, he was very helpful. We talked about how to approach them, some advice during the conversation and what resources I need after. However their response when I did tell them was not pretty at all. They yelled and guilt tripped. Saying things like, “I can’t believe you have the audacity to tell someone else before us,” and, “Your life is so easy you have no right to feel this way. You’re probably just in it for attention,” And, “I failed as a parent. I do everything for you and this is how you act.” It took a while for them to come around and get me help and That conversation made things a whole lot worse. Today though I am excited to say that it’s my first day of therapy and hopefully my first step at recovery!
Hitting the nail on the head again. I've come to accept now at the age of 31 that a future where I retain close proximity to my parents without holding onto some anger, bitterness and resentment for their absolutely thorough emotional and physical neglect of me doesn't really exist. They're not terrible people and they realise they've clearly made mistakes with me but living at home with them is and was a mistake for myself. Distance makes the heart grow fonder and the pressure I've felt from my cultural upbringing to look after them in their older years combined with a toxic and somewhat broken relationship has damaged my physical and mental health significantly the past 3 to 4 years.
This makes sense now I just thought there was a problem with me, my step mom was scary and everything that I said was pointless to her, thank you for helping me understand what's been happening.
I'm in my 30's and my parents worsened my depression/anxiety/ even gave me physical illnesses from the stress of dealing with them. Eventually, I had to go no-contact to heal.
is it good for me: when I'm crying and just wanna be alone, my father comes into my room and forcefully hugs me even if I DONT want to. and he asks me whats wrong. I'm always insecure about my worries and depressions and telling them to my parents, because they just laugh it off. Like stop. dont ask when you dont even help. I love your videos. they made my mental health more important for myself. I also always think me and my health wasnt important. cuz they didnt really care.
Wow... this struck a chord with me. I actually wish more people would talk about this, because it's something I see many people go through. 💔 I remember when teenage me finally gained the courage to tell my mom about my depression (at this point, I was suicidal and becoming afraid of myself). I didn't even mention me being depressed, I just brought up the topic of mental health and depression, but when I did, she asked me "You don't think you're depressed, do you?" She then went on a lengthy tirade about how our family "doesn't get depressed", how I had no reason to be sad, I should be grateful, to never mention that I felt that way to a doctor or they'd put me on medicine that would "mess me up". Needless to say, she did much more damage to me than anyone else. I've never felt more alone in my life, because the larger part of me agreed with her. The guilt that you carry being depressed and not knowing why is something I can't put into words, but she personified that fear and amplified it tenfold. Because I had already told myself that I didn't deserve to feel depressed. But that isn't even what hurt the most. It was the fact that years down the line, years after repairing all the damage she'd done to me (by myself), she started talking about her own anxiety, carrying it like a badge, and told me that she was prescribed medication for it.... All that being said, I truly believe this topic merits so much more attention than it gets, because it can really tear a person down in ways I can't describe. Thank you so much for bringing it to light ❤❤
I've experienced similar things and it's detrimental to your health when family, friends and teachers cause these issues and then minimise or make fun them.
@GamingatFullpower Ofc! 💕 Granted, I'm no mental health professional in the slightest, and the biggest piece of advice I can offer you is to get help if you really need it. I tried toughing it out on my own, and it took sooo much longer to heal, and I'm still not where I need to be. If you find yourself not being able to get professional help, seek out free resources online, find anyone who will listen, contact a hotline if need be. Know that someone's out there, and they are more than willing to hear your story~ That being said, here are a few things I've learned through all these years: 1. Please be kind to yourself~ Treat yourself as you would treat the people you love most in the world. 2. Never undermine your experiences. Your pain is real, and under no pretenses does it NOT deserve to be remedied. 3. Know that you're exactly where you need to be. You don't have to have all the answers right now, and there's no need to rush. Trust that it will be alright in time. 4. Never look for self-worth outside of *yourself*. You are not your grades. You are not your appearance. You are not the way you are treated by others. You are remarkable. Extraordinary. There's only one you, and there will only EVER be one you. You are a miracle and a phenomenon within yourself, and you are worthy of kindness, peace, compassion, and love. Life isn't easy. Sometimes, it may even get worse before it gets better. But as long as you remind yourself of these things, and hold strong (because you are), you will find that even the toughest times can be endured; that the courage to preservere forever dwells within you. I'll impart this quote from Emily Dickinson as my last bit of guidance: “Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul - and sings the tunes without the words - and never stops at all.” John Green mentions this quote in his video, and he also brought to light one thing that really resonated with me: Emily Dickinson never said that you can always *hear* the song of hope, but that it never stops. Though you may not be able to hear it right now, know that it is always playing and will be heard again~ I'm so sorry for how lengthy this was, but I hope it helps! Good luck, and I wish you every happiness~ 💜
Sorry to hear about your experience in opening up to them. It happened to me too, even as recently as last week when I told them about a painful experience in 2nd grade and they just minimized it. Well we are all of us connected in this day and age and there's always people who share your pain and experiences and your positivity and experiences help others as well. Thanks for sharing ♥
Managed to got over my teenage without too much problem, but now my brother shares the same fate with my younger self. Of course, my parents aren't ones to be overly strict or somethin' like that, but they seemed to never learn not to guilt-trip and comparing us, because 1. We hate the tone of their voices when they did that, and 2. We've heard it over and over again, and need something else to hear, like good advices.
Yup. I'm the youngest sibling left so now the only people in the house to talk to are them. They don't do all the things on this list, but they do make the environment not a healing space. Luckily I leave for college in a few days
01:08 What hurts more is the fact that that don't compare you with others. They compare you with yourself. Your past self which doesn't have depression.
Whenever I try to talk about my emotional abuse from my mother to my dad, he just says stuff like “She loves you very much!”,”She didn’t mean it that way!”,”You just need to spend more time with her!”, and the hardest hitting one: “Just forget about it!” Which hurts knowing that I can’t even open up to my dad about something he claims he has himself and have to go somewhere else entirely to even talk about it, talk about it to someone who isn’t even a human being, or just bottle it up and not talk about it at all.
@@silverofthesunbears my parents abuse me it makes me sad they don't let me have friends so I play Roblox but then they try to take it away from me but Roblox is the only thing that I have ppl that care about me 😢
To those growing up and are all 'wow my parents do ALL of this!" Trust me, you're not alone. I was one of them. The SECOND you become an adult you need to move out, right away. Just drop everything and move far away from them. Trust me, you will grow and have such a better life one step at a time.
I feel like i need to send this to my mother. Every time me or one of my siblings struggled with life in general, she'd either dismiss it or belittle us. She also holds us (except for my youngest sister) up to ridiculously high standards, piling more pressure when it came to chores. This eventually accumilated to the point that me and my brother just don't care about meeting her standards. It also got to a point when we were going through depression, it was our dad who helped us (despite not knowing the full concept behind mental health). The only exception was from january-early march of 2023, where i'd gone through a break-up and was getting treated like trash by the ex and feeling depressed as a result, most of which i managed to work through myself with sibling support and keeping myself distracted, knowing my mum would just be dismissive or make things worse (i also didn't have a proper emotional connection with my dad then). Worst 9 weeks of my life, hands down. In all seriousness, i will take this video as parenting tips ready for when i eventually become a parent myself
I’d like to say that thanks for making this video and helping parents how to help with depression, also to everyone reading this comment, unless your parents understand depression and mental illnesses, don’t tell them and try to find a therapist for it, but first check laws because sometimes you can’t get a therapist as a minor without parent/guardian consent, and if you can forge your parent’s signature and do everything else, then you’re pretty smart and resourceful and can get help, sooo please if you have depression, go to therapy
My mom will always say I’m fine. Whether I’m in physical, mental or emotional pain. I once started having a depressive episode and a panic attack at my job in front of all my coworkers and my boss. And I called her to ask if I could come home. She told me “you’re fine! I deal with depression all the time.” I felt so hollow and embarrassed that I basically just threw myself into work. I then proceeded to pass out when I got home. Which I was then called lazy for. My ankle right now feels like it’s being stabbed whenever I take a step. And she just brushed it off. I’m just the “happy go lucky only boy in the family.” I’m not allowed to be angry or upset, i don’t even remember what it’s like to genuinely smile without feeling guilty for it. And as of recently I’ve discovered scars underneath both of my wrists. I don’t remember making them.
You makes me super sad because you are living example of 'it will never get better. Even if you grew up from you teen depression and became a young adult there is no reason for you to feel better'. But well guess we are all fucked up. I gotta hand it to you that you have all rights to feel bad and depressed and have no reasons to feel guilty about it. I feel bad for you bad you gotta understand few facts... 1 It is ok to feel sad, bad guilty, awfull and have depression, It is ok to wants to die and to wants to feel happy (you deserve happines just like everyone) and to wants to be acepted, be enough by beijg just you. 2 You mother is toxic pice of shit that you should avoid all ways you can. I know it hurts my mother is no better. She also is my only parent and I must to live with her because of my age. You propably have your reasons too but you should do anything to get away from her. Fast and for good. She seems like the kind of person that you will never be good enough for whatever you do so just stop trying to find comfort in her and bare in mind - mark - that she may be your mother and the reason you came to this world but you own her nothing for that and it is not the only thing you should be admired by. 3 You should try seeking help. You are an adult I suppose so please get an appointment at psychologist/psychiatrist or even in a psychiatric ward. It is meant to help you. Please don't harm yourself even if you don't remember it don't do it intentionaly. Also the important thing is that you should try change your life anyhow. moving out. Going to live onboard in other countres. Or by finding friends or a lover (know it's not easy but trying never hurts) you can try something that used to make you happy or supposed to at least like having a day of for a nice diner with a movie to rest a bit. Or finding a new job - not saying quit immidiatly but look around for something better? The previous one seems like it is draining you... Please get better even if advices are not accurate enoughjust try overthink anything that you could do for yourself to help you. - gonna sound like shit but I (someone unknown in other side of the world) cares for your well being, ok?
I’m so sorry. I don’t pretend to know what your life is like, but I would recommend going to a therapist, outside of your moms influence. Ask your father, or if that is not possible, ask another adult who you trust to help you get a therapist.
I honestly feel bad for everybody out there that has to deal with these kinds of parents.. nobody should be treated as if depression is an excuse.. everybody should be treated fairly, and nobody should have to feel like they're nobodies..
The comparing Getting a high score and telling my parents with happiness inside and the outside while they ask "Are you the best kid in class? Couldn't you do better? Why can't you be like him?!" Leaving you to sadness and burning inside now. I would try my best to hear an "your the best! You did a good job!!" But it never happens. After the school ended, they gave all the kids how good they were with numbers. I got an 80% and my mom said "that's the worst score! It's been 3 years and what did you learn?! Nothing." Like that and shaming me. And I would be called the disgusting but pretty one in middle of my family. It's hard to talk things out when you got thoughts like "if I talk to them about this, they be mad. They will not care. They will be sad, they won't understand, they will think I'm a weirdo" And just to not get down with depression, I would be the class clown and talk about funny things to keep myself away from this. My head would be full of "I'm always fine, I have a great happy family. My life is loving and caring so I shouldn't be sad about anything" while having problems with these.
You're doing a good job, you aren't "disgusting" or such things, you are doing your best, and that's what matters, not the negative things that your parents said to you,
You're doing a good job, you aren't "disgusting" or such things, you are doing your best, and that's what matters, not the negative things that your parents said to you,
I already have depression even though I’m not in my teens yet,everything here is mentioned about me especially comparing and yet they don’t let me lock my doors to calm myself from them I’ve actually read an article about my parents anger issues and one suggested to move out as quickly as possible to avoid anymore and I chose it
Sadly, this was my teen life-my parents were incredibly strict, had extremely high expectations, and made me feel like everything I did was either wrong or fake because I was doing it to please them and others. When I was 19, after my father died unexpectedly, I did fall into a depression that took years to come out of. The feelings of isolation, "hollowness" and being unheard truly are painful. More parents should see this so they don't worsen the depression their children may have.
I never wanted to say I had depression, and I never blamed my parents... Now I'm 18, my girlfriend helped me to see that it's not me, but it's too late now, I'm an adult, I just wish I noticed before...
It's an excellent point that many parents do not have a full understanding of what depression really is. When they don't understand it, they don't really know how to appropriately respond. This only makes it even harder on the child!
My parents guilt trip me into hanging out with kids I don’t like and are younger than me…. I’m always blamed for things I never did.. I feel like I can’t go to anyone cause averyone had there own problems and laying mine on them makes me feel horrible so I keep my feelings to myself and hold my friends feelings cause they tell me everything and I feel like I’m going to snap at any moment.. watching this really helped me understand a lot thank you..
I can't watch this no more. It's so emotional. I see lots of parents that treat their kids like this, and it's wrong. And I understand the pain because my mom, step dad treated me like I was nothing and took advantage of me. They will bully me. In a way, I'm glad I see this video because it helps me learn how to be an understandable person, especially that I'm an aunt. And i don't want to do the same exact mistakes my mom did. Hopefully, if i ever have kids, I be a wonderful and understandable mother. Everyone deserves to be heard no matter how old or young they are. And support them. This video makes me emotional
I remember how in any conflict situation I got as a child my parents wasn't on my side. Like even if I was not the wrong one, they would always twist the situation to make me guilty. I have a very vivid memory when I was like four y.o. and I realized: nobody would stood up for me or protect me. I have to deal with my problems myself. So I stopped telling them about my troubles since. Later they asked me if someone bullies me at school from time to time, and even if someone did, I never told them. I knew it was pointless. They would only make me feel worse without providing any solution to the problem not to mention emotional support. I grew up very independent. I moved out when I was 16, I finished college, now I work two jobs to buy a house. But I suffer from depression since 20, and my therapist says that its because the way I see the world is very dark and pessimistic. I perceive every person I met as bad by default, and a world itself as dangerous. I never felt romantic attraction towards anyone. I don't even trust the people I consider friends. And the worst part, even though this mindset brings me misery, I terrified of a thought about changing it, cause a I feel like I owe everything I achieved in my life to it.
this exact thing happened to me. Where you end up raising yourself basically. You've done great and it's great to be able to read your history. It's fine to not be a walking pot of rainbows. It's great that you have therapy and I recommend you keep going. Sometimes it takes time to find a therapist you click with. Good that you're here.
This is exactly what I had with my mom when I was 16-19. I'm now 21. And it's still difficult to see who she actually is to me even tho we're all out of that situation. I needed that love and understanding. But I got the "you can't be depressed, I'm depressed". etc etc talk. Luckily all that is over tho. But even then it can be difficult sometimes. But for anyone who is in this situation, stick to your own believes. Don't let them drag you down in their own misery. I now have 2 people in my life that from the start adopted me in spirits (not literally or official). That couple showed me love, understanding and affection. When I started to create a bond with them. I knew that it's exactly what I would've needed from my own parents when I was a kid.
My parents do basically everything spoken about in the video. The worst thing is they cant swallow their pride and understand they've failed at raising me and are better off leaving me alone to do my own thing, instead of harassing me to get up at a certain time, or to get my schoolwork done (I take online classes that go at my pace), or to yutrry up and get my driver's license. They say they want a good relationship with me, but that feels like a bold faced lie, and i know i don't want a relationship with them anymore anyways. I wanna grow up and get out. I just feel trapped here, not safe.
Thank you for the awesome video! Here are some more things parents might do that could fuel teenage depression: 1. Lack of Communication: Ignoring or not engaging in open conversations with your teenager can make them feel isolated and unheard, which may contribute to feelings of depression. 2. Overwhelming Pressure: Putting excessive pressure on your teenager to excel in academics, sports, or other activities can lead to stress and a sense of failure if they can't meet your expectations. 3. Comparisons: Constantly comparing your teenager to others can lower their self-esteem and create a sense of inadequacy, potentially leading to depressive feelings. 4. Dismissing Emotions: Dismissing or trivializing your teenager's emotions, like saying "you're just being dramatic," can make them reluctant to express their feelings and lead to depression. 5. Overprotectiveness: Being overly controlling or not allowing your teenager to have some independence can hinder their personal growth and contribute to feelings of helplessness. 6. Invalidation: Invalidating your teenager's emotions by telling them their feelings aren't valid or that they shouldn't feel a certain way can make them suppress their emotions and lead to depression. 7. Unrealistic Expectations: Setting unrealistic expectations for your teenager's behavior, appearance, or achievements can create immense stress and self-doubt, contributing to depression. 8. Neglecting Mental Health: Ignoring or downplaying mental health issues can prevent your teenager from seeking help when needed, worsening their depression. 9. Criticism: Constantly criticizing or belittling your teenager's actions or decisions can erode their self-esteem and lead to depressive thoughts. 10. Conflict at Home: Frequent conflicts, yelling, and arguments in the household can create a hostile environment that negatively impacts your teenager's mental health. 11. Negative Role Modeling: Displaying negative coping mechanisms, such as substance abuse or unhealthy relationships, can indirectly encourage your teenager to adopt similar behaviors. 12. Unrealistic Body Image Standards: Promoting unrealistic body image standards can lead to body dissatisfaction and contribute to feelings of depression, especially in teenagers. 13. Neglecting Self-Care: Not prioritizing your own mental and emotional well-being can set an example that neglecting self-care is acceptable, impacting your teenager's understanding of their own well-being. 14. Invasion of Privacy: Invading your teenager's privacy and not respecting their boundaries can make them feel violated and less likely to trust you, potentially leading to depression. It's crucial for parents to maintain open lines of communication, provide emotional support, and be mindful of their actions to foster a positive and healthy environment for their teenagers. If you suspect your teenager is struggling with depression, seeking professional help is essential.
My depression grew so much that i could not even rely on my parents anymore.i had to seek on social media for help by creating an depression account and telling people my story.
Growing up with my grandmother due to family issues, I had depression, but when I tried telling anyone - anyone at all, they said I’m fine. Even my doctors. Whenever I got straight A’s, I was pushed to get straight A+’s and felt like I wasn’t good enough because I’d worked so hard to study the piano, for school, etc. The one person who was actually interested was my middle school band teacher, and he told me he could completely relate to me with everything, even my family issues. This video is so true.
I am very late to this video- My mother and father argue a lot and somehow it used to end up being my fault. I used to get accused of ‘taking sides’ with my mum or dad so one of them would always be angry with me. When we used to go on car trips and my parents missed the turn, suddenly it would be my fault for talking too much (and I’m a really quiet person). Luckily I never suffered from depression but I was always anxious wondering what I was going to get blamed for next. I eventually got the courage to point out what they were doing, my mother apologised and promised to be better in the future and my father told me all this screen time was making me upset. But I’ve very grateful for my mums support ❤. Sorry for venting but writing makes me feel comfortable.
I'm an adult that still lives at home. I grew up with a lot of the experiences listed in the video, and for the most part, I still do. My parents are very dismissive of any mental heath issue that isn't "serious" like bipolar disorder or Schizophrenia. My mom is upset with herself because she tells me and my siblings that she wanted to create an environment to where we could talk to her about anything, but me and my siblings all unanimously concluded that's not the case. She says she wants to create tha environment going forward, but any time I attempt to be vulnerable with her, she's dismissive. When I tried to start a conversation with her about my mental health, she was saying one thing, but her face and tone of voice was gave away what she was really thinking, which is thay she didn't believe me. That was the last nail in the coffin for me when it comes to opening up to her. I wouldn't even dare try to talk about that with my dad. I'm a preacher's kid. He would try to pray all of the problems away. Also, from what my brother says when he tried to open up, my dad was very unserious and made a joke of everything. Needless to say, going forward, neither of them will know anything about my personal life. I feel it would be a waste of my time and energy to share anything with them if they're not going to take me seriously.
Sorry about that I have the same problem too but in my case my mom prays her problems away and then starts complaining about it the whole day sometimes I think being a black kid suck while my European friends have the best just why
@@justAmood8 i just wished Thier mentality wasn't stuck in 1500 study all day, no friends because Thier are demons in them get a degree and a family even if you don't want to
@@rbsmith3365 They're both dead now. I went to their funerals to keep up appearances and am in therapy to try and banish memories of them which still cause pain. I'm making progress. Thank you for your comment. It's very helpful.
My mom had mental issues herself ever since my father passed away, that was at my age of 10. She barely even could handle life, always found herself again in situations where she was used by others and I myself have been way too much work for her as well, suffering from massive bullying in school by both classmates and teachers as well as her aunt whenever she visited us. I wouldn't say I am still struggling like back then but I definitely have my issues in life.too now at the age of 32.
Similar to me my mother isn’t ill but I think she is depressed to a degree. I was 11 and grew up with 5 older sister siblings. Sorry u went through this too.
My parents are like this. All that have been said have happend to me. They compare me to others. They blame for everything and i am what they call they most dissaponting child of their family. They are so judgemental. Its so upsetting
4:45 yes, this is happening frecuently, espectualy when i`m cleaning up after myself (spilled juice/e.t.c), i just getting shouted cause i still didnt cleand some place.
2:06 is so true. I’m always scared to tell my parents what’s going on and I’m scared to cry around them, because they always get pissed off at me when I cry over little things and tell me to grow up…
this us kind of a vent sry i relate to this one so much im gong through a some shit rn and i don’t know why im crying rn this segment is too relatable 😔 my parents don’t listen to me so i dont tell them stuff something that just crushed me and started giving me anxiety was the fact that when i told my mom i was genderfluid and wanted to go by the name Max, she just brushed it off and thought it was a silly phase and refused to use my preferred name. she engorged me to be a ally but when i tell her about my identity she doesnt support me. ive also told her im a furry. she just to,d me all furrys over 18 are perverts. they’re literally people cosplaying animals with human features. the majority of us are against the bad side of the furry fandom (perverts, zoos, etc) it just crushes me. she’s always said to be myself and i am. im trying to be a good person. i have dark humor and i can be toxic at all lot of times. she doesn’t like it. i dont want to be toxic either. im working on improving. im actually being myself around her and she hates it. she’s off and on about supporting me and i dont know what to do.
@@MaxIsEatingLegos I’m a furry too and that’s exactly what I’m afraid of telling my parents. I don’t think they would mind if I came out as bi or gay or genderfluid (I am straight lmao, and Christian- I fully support lgbtq), but I’m pretty sure they don’t like furries. Honestly, most of what you’re saying is relatable too! And I don’t mind the vent. ^^
My dad does the same thing. I don’t want him to see me crying because I know he’s going to use the classic line “what do you have to cry about?”, or something similar. He always starts yelling at me, which causes me to start breaking down even more, and make his yelling and my crying worse and worse. I hate being around him, since his behavior can turn on a dime when you tell him something he apparently didn’t want to hear. He tells me I can talk to him about my mental health, yet when I do, the conversation gets shot down, and he ignores me.
Thank you for these great videos,they will benefit so many people! When I was in my teens these signs were only a sign of weakness - you just had to ‘man up’, which can be very harmful. Luckily I managed to escape all that and built my own life. It took many years to get over the harm that had been caused but I got there in the end☺️
I cannot explain how much I understand this and relate to it. My parents have softened on me a bit about not going out. Now, I go out with friends, or by myself, only to escape my family and my troubles.
every time a student would get mad or angry in my third grade class, they would often call their altitude, actions, or emotions, ugly, which something that a teacher should never do to calm students down.
"Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, but a good word makes it glad." We had this figured out since the time of Solomon (3-4k years), yet we are still going through the same song and dance every generation. When you get the chance, talk to your family. If you don’t have family you trust including extended family, talk to a trusted friend. If you don’t have any friends you trust, ask family or friends to go to the park or a nature trail with no talking so that you can be out in nature or touch grass. If that's not an option, seek a counselor, therapist, or a mentor. If you are a teen or in your early 20's, it is not too late to turn things around; you still have a chance to make things right, so take the shot I never did. "Farwell, Good Hunter. May you find your worth in the waking world." "Goodbye friend. Stay safe. Don’t you dare go hollow"
Thank for this. I have anxiety and after a situation with my sister I am going to tell her about my feelings. I’ll tell you how it goes. But first, I need to prepare what I want to say.
There always like “you have a good life, you get good grades, you have friends, you have a loving family” like thats gonna change me and make me say hey, ya know what I’m not gonna be depressed anymore because all of that is definitely true!
Thank you so much for the video! Is there any chance that a future video about ways parents may make their child/teen depressed? I would want to seek support, but am scared of judgement from my parents, who don't understand mental health illnesses, so I don't usually express my feelings fully to them. Also, I am left with no choice but to complete daily tasks, no matter how draining they are. It would be amazing if this was explained in a future video. Thank you so much again!
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How was your experience like when you told your parents about having depression?
First! And also I don’t have depression however any time my parents see me sad they always do there best to comfort me. There the best, and I wish everyone had parents like them, especially after watching this video ❤
Definitely wasn't the best, but I managed~ 😅
Since I already left a comment describing my experience, I won't delve too deep. But I'm trying my best to forgive my parent because she was going through things too.
She did and said a lot of things back then, and ignored me a large portion of the time (I could be trying to talk to her and while I was mid-sentence, she would just leave the room), but she's treating me much better than before.
At this point, I'm more upset with myself in a way, because I *want* to forgive her, but every time I think about it, it just rekindles the resentment I felt back then. I wish I could describe it better, but I can't quite put the feelings into words.
It's a process, but I don't want to be angry forever. Hopefully, I can move forward soon 💜
they told me to stop lying to myself.
Mom started crying worrying that it's their fault. Which switched me from "I need help"to "it's ok, mom". Years and years later I'm still struggling
Never told them anything in the first place. Like . . . Why bother when you already know how it'll play out and fail miserably?
The worst one has to be when you finally get just enough courage to tell them and they say "just think positively". That is just not how it works.
Literally my parents.
Yep,they do not think of anything.They just find excuses to escape of what they think is a “oh-so sweet story”when in reality,it is vital for their child
Or they say "well what do you have to cry about"
@@Just.A.Goober.VentingI hate when they say that to me because I have no good comebacks so I just sit in silence. Also, my dad thinks depression isn’t real.
@@sicilyfanning tbh hate my mom for these reasons
2:28 Saying stuff like "Why are you depressed? You have a good life" is like saying stuff like "Why are you asthmatic? There's so much air"
Worst thing is, I was told this throughout my whole childhood!
I mean, both these things!
Also saying stuff like, "You've got food, clothes, a house, etc. Be grateful for what you have." Yes, because depression means we're automatically ungrateful for unappreciative of what we have and what's been done for us 😒.
@@sava898 Correct, because it is outweighted by the negatives we have to deal with every day.
Fr...
Yep
this explains everything....more parents should have a look at videos like these
Thank you for your comment. I think videos like this can be educational for parents, if they are willing to learn how to speak with their children. Many parents assume and expect children to be okay without really think about what they're saying so we hope we can spread awareness through this type of content.
@@Psych2go can opening up to your parent about how you feel or about something or something you don't like and they say "i dont care" or "your just feeling sorry for yourself" lead to depression or fueling depression?
I'm afraid to send this video to my mom, so instead I'm sending it to our mutual friend
@AryannaMckay If that's what's happening to you, that's very unfortunate.. I don't exactly know your situation so I'm not sure if it leads to or fuels depression but it certainly doesn't help... For some reason, our parent's generation treats feelings as weaknesses and encourages us to only suppress them. Maybe it's their own upbringing. However, I sincerely hope that you have somebody you can talk to regarding how you feel about things. No person should ever feel dismissed or unheard about how they feel, certainly not from their parents..
@@Psych2go thank you. its usually when i tell my step-dad I feel like a bad person or something like that he says "you're just feeling sorry for yourself" and I've told him about how I feel about some things and she said he doesn't care and sometimes when I ask him stuff like "what do you need help with" or "Where are we going?" He'll tell met to stop asking stupid questions or to not worry about it- So I was just wondering if that fueled depression or anxiety, ty for letting me know
I once saw my mother skipped the ad about how to take care of your children during their teen phase, it was so cold, so careless, it's so simple but it broke my heart. At that time I have depression, but nobody seemed to care.
Edit: I cringed when I saw this comment after 4 months
I'm so sorry
I think I felt something similar when my mom went back to smoking
As a mom…def noted.
It really is the little things.
If everyone paid attention to the little things then we wouldn’t have bigger problems to wear on us EVERYDAY.
@@McsKlee._7 please don’t dismiss your moment of empathetic insight so easily with scoff.
You’ve enlightened several mothers me being one to take note of the algorithm a little more. It was trying to speak to your mother at that moment and while she ignored it…you did not. And the result was another arrow to the back for you when that connection never went through and your call for help wasn’t answered.
Don’t cringe. Stand by your words. They meant a lot to us
@@vannarooski8730 that's so sweet of you! :"D
it hurts the most when you tell your parents how you feel and they start saying how they gave you everything and how ungrateful you are and that you should be grateful
Yeah.
so true
Fr
well you should be grateful tho.
Well when they did that to me, i talk them back since i don't treat them like my parent when they say that.
I'm 45 now, but when I was a teenager, I was severely depressed. I tried talking to my mom about it, and her reaction was devastating. She actually got angry with me, told me I was thinking too negatively, said I was a "stinkin thinker", said I needed to read more books about positive thinking. Toxic positivity was a huge thing in our home growing up. After that day, I learned that I could never talk to my mom about anything deep - I felt betrayed. My dad is dismissive about anything emotional or anything having to do with anyone else but himself. I kept to myself. To this day, I still have depression and anxiety, but I know now I can talk to my sister. I'm coming to understand that I can only have a superficial relationship with my parents.
When they passed away. Don’t show up at their funeral and don’t help them either.
@@rbsmith3365fr
once I read in a book, if we don't healing our past and make peace with that (this include our parents) we never gonna bright in our 100%, talking to them, let them know about your past feeling or just forgive them because maybe in that time they weren't prepared enough to deal with that kind of situation, is the best way, after that you will lose a huge amount of weight on your back, I did it, and it worked. Cheers.
I'm 32 and had the same experience in my youth when it comes to toxic possitivity. I feel like I can only be a bit more open about problems to my siblings and close friends because of it.
@Portrait61-nr4bo when people repeatedly tell you you are something you start believing it.
I gotta admit it .... tears rolled down my eyes while watching this .... I never knew how I was being pushed into the hole of depression 💔
Same
My parents all ways push me aside and my dad told me one time when I opened up to him about my depression (I normally don’t) he said “your being such a pitty part” it wrecked now I don’t open up 😢
same
Me too, as I'm watching this now tears are rolling down my eyes, I now know that my parents fuel my depression
Same😢
When I was younger, I was diagnosed with MDD (major depressive disorder)
as well as my sister.
I had a very important toy, I got when I went to Sydney, Australia for my 7th birthday. It was a lioness teddy. I’ve kept it so so so long!! I’ve cried into her, screamed into her, slept with her and played with her. She’d been the most precious little thing I’ve ever had if I hadn’t gotten her, who knows where’d I’d be today.
I have a toy like that. He is a dog named Risky. I’m lucky I still have him. I have had him for 6 years now. I can’t imagine what it would be like without him. He’s my emotional support, despite being a non-sentient being. I would do the same things you did to your toy.
same,I have one that’s from ikea and it’s still with me today
dead.
@@Prolol1233-0 ???
I have three plushies, one is a paw pateol chase plush, one is a white dog with hearts on it, and the other is a small beige dog, i jeep them close, kinds like your lioness!❤
My parents always say that my depression is from my phone when in reality, it's what is holding me back from ending it. Social media is the only thing that makes me happy
That is true
They have a point. I disagree with 2:34. It's most likely not the main cause of depression, but it definitely fuels it to an extent. It's a fact that excessive social media use, ESPECIALLY tiktok and instagram worsen anxiety and depression. Try to gradually decrease the time you spend on your phone.
@darkstrifequeen1458they took all social media away accept RUclips and Weverse and idk what I’d even do without my groups😅
At this point, parents are just becoming stupid in mental health situations
@@ditzydoo04Agreed, they say they understand u and say they are trying to help you but they literally criticize you in every way possible
My parents love comparing me and my childhood to themselves and what they went through always telling me that I'm lucky and others have it worse. They didn't take my depression seriously for 3 years and even after being diagnosed still don't fully support me and my mom often puts down my mental illness. Started crying watching this because my mom has literally told me several times that me being anxious or upset is ruining my families time doing things. My mom often makes me the scapegoat too lol. I can't wait to move out
I am so sorry about all of this. Sending lots of love 💕💕
You definitely aren't alone, I wish you the best in your life
Good luck! 😊❤
I've experienced similar things and I feel you! Wishing you all the best!
YES! "Oh we were hit at school too". "Do you think I like going to work every day?" "you are depressed because you don't take jesus as your support"
I remember my mom saying "I tried giving you the best life I could, but you still ended up with depression." She didn't mean it in a hurtful way, and she was more frustrated with herself than anything else, as she also has depression, but it still made me feel really bad. Thankfully I still felt like I could talk to my parents, which definitely helped. One thing that is super important is having a good support system, even if it's just one or two people. My friend helped me out of the darkest time in my life, and I am so grateful to have a friend like her. Even if you're parents aren't there for you, intentionally or not, please reach out to someone you can trust
@@iamfighterman9646This kid doesn't even know what in the world depression is
@@iamfighterman9646 Well my mom has to refuse
@@iamfighterman9646 what do you mean by stupid depression
Doesn’t matter what she meant. That was terrible of her to say
Dad writing: my daughters RUclips was open. Now I have this channel on my account. What a one in a million chance to see this video. Helps me understand my oldest a lot more on how interact with her. Thank you very much this video. Now to understand them a bit more.
I wish my father could also see this unknowingly 😞
i maybe be a teen/child but i am a father figure. good job, dude. that's the way :]
i wish that would be my dad
W dad
I want my parents to see this and read my comment and how much they are destroying my own bubble and maybe they should ACTUALLY TELL THE SCHOOL THAT EVERY SINGLE FRICKING TIME I TELL THE SHSO HOW I FEEL SHE LITERALLY REPEATS THE QUESTION OF HOW I AM, IT HAS GOTTEN TO THE POINT WHERE I HAVE SO MANY WORDS I WANT TO SCREAM AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS
Please, if you're having a bad day, just remember that somewhere in this world, theres still someone eho cares for you, someone might like you but is too embarassed to talk about it. So dont ever think that you have lost everything
@@JohnCena-uv9rq If there is nobody to care about you then?
nope, there's not 😃
Are you... sure?
these points hit a bit too harshly. I relate too much of this yet my parents were all “Depression starts at thirteen, you can’t be depressed, you’re just sad, grow up.” When I was 8-9. so it hurt realising that i was actually depressed. I can’t take it anymore
Happened to me too...I hope we will get through this tho...😢
You can do this❤
Don’t worry.You will get through this madness
It can start more early because my depression started at 10-11 and IT WAS REAL! I know you don't believe me, but…
Same except I was 11 and having suicidal thoughts at the same age when my sister began cutting herself
The worst thing is when you talk about it with your friends and They tell you “try to talk with your parents” like I’ve been trying but not anybody has The fortune to have parents that listen to you…
I would love to see my parents seeing this video, after hearing all the things said here, I relate to it very much and I can definitely agree it is fuelling my depression. Parents should always focus on their children's mental health
And physical
I completely agree
Don't forget Emotional Health too
agreed!!@@yuhongooi8146
I can absolutely agree with the last one...
I gotta say: my depression years started when I was 9, not surprisingly, my parents didn't care about it and said I was thinking about it too much, I'm16 now (soon to be 17 in 3 months) and it never left me. Personally, I'm an introvert, so I don't say anything about it anymore, but it has stuck with me throughout these few years
I started having depression at 9 too!But I’m not planning on telling my parents anytime soon.
i am 10 years old and I got depression' s all signs idk I was going to hurt myself but I just comedown myself I know how it feels when your mom sister both have depression and mom don't understand 😢💔💔
Same. Mine started at 12.. but it got a little better when I finally moved out.. now I'm 30 but still struggle.
Same started at nine to my mom said I'm just a little girl who has nothing to worry about also my cousin's depression started at nine I was 8 at the time I could tell she had it cus she cried about a lot of things I wondered why but now I know 😭
@@JustMe_Pookie BE MAH FRIEND
Thank you for this video. Having parents that don’t understand mental health & depression is also a lot more complicated when they’re from other countries that stigmatize mental illnesses. While my parents are good people and aren’t strict, they do have a tendency to compare with other when I feel bad and they don’t know have to actually help with my struggle with depression.
@@sulcusulnaris
Yep, I learned what depression feels like when I went through it last year.
I'm from Romania and lots of people like my family beleve that depression is something people do to themself... I've been suffering for over a year now it feels like it will be a very long Journey...And I don't realy have any real friends either...
@@TheForbiddenAngel-x5g The saddest thing, is that partialy they are right. technicaly people do depression to themselves, but they cant just "stop being so negative" or I dont actualy know how do they say it in english. When a turtle gets on it's back, yes they do it for themselves, but they can't just easily undo it. I personaly was missunderstood, for a long time, but recently, after years of persuation, I managed to convince my arents, that I should get a psychologist. I havent even met her jet, but I do feel better already. I'm just saying that you should never lose hope, whatever disney bullshit does this sound.
very true
I am the same
I love my parents yet sometimes they made me feel bad for trying to open up and trying to actually tell them how I feel.. The same answer I'd always hear was "maybe if you weren't so isolated to your room all the time than you wouldn't feel so depressed and sad.." It just made me bottle up my emotions and never open up to them again
Same when I tell my mum sm she NEVER changes anything to help me so it makes me bottle up my feelings when I should probably tell someone
So relatable... the biggest problem being that there's just no one to trust around me. No one to talk to.
It's difficult when you're self isolating because of depression. I know it's difficult to do, but try to put yourself out there, yea it hurts to be vulnerable, but you can't make true friends if you're not willing to weed through the bad ones. Easier said than done I know.
Try going into discord chat rooms of subjects you're passionate about and talk to people there. Maybe do something like VR chat where you can actually verbally talk to people, you don't need VR to play VR chat. You can play it on a pretty basic computer. If you can't do that then unfortunately you'll have to resort to meeting new people in the real world, something I'm still struggling with getting the courage to do personally.
I hope this unsolicited advice helps you, and I wish you luck in finding some friends that are worthy of your friendship. 🙏🩷
Dude, I know that feeling... It's even worse when you're parents are the one who you not want to talk to, but remember there are people here who support you
^_^
God is always there. He'll listen to you.
Totally agree and feel the same, I really don’t trust people they always are selfish and self absorbed so they don’t REALLY Care about others situations. Yet on the flip side I genuinely cared about others and tried to be there for them and help out.
Fr they sometimes don't care or just say that you're overthinking it
Every generation complains that the next has ruined something, not realizing that they raised the people ruining things
I'm 19 and about to start college. I literally started crying while watching this because of how much it resonated with me.
I understand
Go away from home as you finish college❤ a hug
i'm 19 and i already failed second year of college
Same the tears are running down my face as a 14 year old.
After watch this i finally realized what's happening with me.every time i try to do something to Joy my mom, grandma really knows how to ruin, always make me angry with them when i was 16 to 18.
i realized how much i relate to this and wanted to thank you for this video. i've been struggling with depression, and after telling my parents how i feel, they complain that im being dramatic, that i have a bad mindset, and that im too weak. i lost myself after that. i hope more parents can see it and realize depression doesn't have to be caused by some major traumatic event.
I am crying 😢 while watching this. I'm now 46 years old but I can still feel depressed and give me flashbacks almost every day. I made a lot of bad decisions because I wasn't aware of my anxiety and depression until recently. Thank you for this channel
That sounds reallly tough :( Have you spoken to a mental health professional about the flashbacks and your depression?
@@Psych2go I went for counseling and started reading and research about our brain 🧠 functions which gives me idea 💡 how to cope in more healthy ways. I started going to church because I need spirituality and heal my soul. It's just brother now who needs help because he's been alcoholic. And I constantly reminding him that he has menta illness because we really had chaotic childhood 😭
I'm sorry to hear that. Listen whatever your going through. your not a bad person for making mistakes we all make them even ones that could change our whole life. don't let people including your inner critic let you down. You are already on the right path to recovery and healing dont give up my friend
@@Thebrokenhopeseries347 ❤ thank you so much!!! Your kind words makes me feel strong 💪
Thank you for sharing your experience with us. It's great to hear that you're proactively working to improving your mental health. As @robinfoxstudios57 said, I hope you take the time to recover and heal and that you don't give up. We appreciate you for taking the time to share your story with us ❤️
My partner was in this exact situation. Things could have ended catastrophically, but I and my whole family stepped up to advocate for him, so his family would understand his situation. Thankfully we got through to them, and now he’s receiving professional help and things are slowly improving almost constantly. This was all super brave of him to do. He’s a lot stronger than he gives himself credit for.
I couldn't tell someone like that. It's too scary. My whole life, people have mistreated me. Kids, teachers, my mom's friends, my family and my mom. The only one that cared about me was my grandpa. Also, my cat, Grady. I have depression but I just can't tell anyone why.
all needed is just a hug and "are you okay?"
is that too much to ask for?
I feel you.
For some people, unfortunately, yes...
If I got that, I would be resisting the urge to just break down crying in their arms
as a trans, gay, (and a bunch of other stuff, with my identity and otherwise), this video helped me a lot. sometimes i talk to my dad about dysphoria, like example height dysphoria (i feel awkward, since i was born female that im shorter than the cisgender guys in my classes), my dad would say something like "all teenagers want to be taller, you're fine", or im about to have a panic attack over the fact that i cant figure out who i am, identity, friends, school, if i want to go to college, careers, chores, homework ect. my mom will come down and quietly but firmly tell me to go to bed which only makes everything worse until the point that i fully shut down and she thinks im ignoring her. this channel helps me know im not alone, even though this video was made a year ago. thank you
The whole time I watched, I cried becuz the little person who is supposed to be the viewer is me all the time. I feel like this all the time and don't want to. Thank you for making this. I really appreciate it. 💜
This was me throughout my childhood. Although it wasn’t all bad, they would constantly compare me to others, or gaslight me to get what they wanted.
number 2 really hit close to home for me. When I would tell my mom that i was struggling, she would shut it down and just keep making excuses and invalidating my feelings. She would say i have a loving family, nice things etc. so i didn't need a reason to be depressed or sad. Thank you for this video
So, im homeschooled, and in fifth grade i did morning meeting, basically morning meeting was a zoom meeting at 8:00 (that didnt teach anything) and was just an overview of stuff, and we did self affirmations, (they kinda helped) but what the worst thing was is that they literally said that "happiness is a choice and that if you arent making that choice then make it" and "today is a great day to have a great day" like bro- I CANT CONTROL MY FLIPPING EMOTIONS- IF I COULD I WOULDNT BE DEPRESSED! YOU DONT *KNOW* HOW IT FEELS!
Ugh... This reminds me a lot of my childhood/teenage years unfortunately...
I was compared to my older sister, for not being as productive or organised as she was from my mother and that led me to have insecurities and a terrible depression... Our father was missing, but when he found out he became more supportive than my mother ever was with me.
All kids deserve parents, but not all parents deserve kids
-wise words
So true.....
surely a fact
Hi
its true my parents didn't even want me in the first place. And my mom even said that she didn't even want another child so it makes me feel like a burden.😞
So true experiencing this 😭😞
I watch your videos to help me be a better person.
I'm a parent with depression and I don't want my child feeling the same way I do or at least I can try to be as supportive as I possibly can for when they need me
Loved being told for years since I was 12 onwards that I was being pathetic and there was nothing wrong with me. I’m now 20 and only just got the help I needed.
I’m 12, and I have really bad depression, and it’s surprising to see that this video basically covers all of what my parents have been doing. Every single time something is mentioned in this video I would be like “ya, that’s my parents, all right.” I honestly wish that I could show them this video.
Because of your age it will be difficult for a while, also because you are living with your parents for few more years. But what I can tell you as an adult who grew up depressed (I'm not trying to impose thing on you, I swear)... Try to do as much as you can for your independence, what I mean by that is learn about your mental health and how you can improve it, how having emotional intelligence helps you have healthy relationships, try to take care of yourself to the best of your daily capacity. Also think about the future and how you can be independent, is good to rely on people too. Try to get someone who can be a guide for you, think about scholarships if you can or whatever external resources that will help you in the future. There's a lot of free or low cost resources around, just do a lil research! If you decide on a path and you change your mind or if you fail that's also ok, life is not exact or perfect.... It's a lot for a 12 year old, I know, but I wish someone (an adult) would have told me at least something like this when I was your age and I was feeling lost. So, I hope this doesn't come accross as annoying. ♥
ur not alone bro
Same here just not to forget your not alone someothers feeling same thing to me i have nobody i dont friends seeing this video makes me feel better that im not alone by the way im 15
Omg, same and I'm 13 ( Like 1 month I turned 13) and I was same like. I also wish I could show. 🤧😫😩😣😔🥺🤍🖤
@@tata.shorts.12😢 I can understand because it was started with me at 11 but I became depressed when I was 12 and now I am going to turn 13
As a parent, I appreciate these videos. It makes me more aware and makes sure that I am the best parent I can be while my child approaches their teen years.
I am happy that I would never do these things to them, I have realised. Thanks :)
I was going to comment something similar. I want to be the best mom I can be for my kids, and the videos help.
that's great. We have a 6 year old son and he gets told often that it's ok to be scared, to cry, to be sad, to tell us how he feels and of course that he is loved.
I wish I had a parent like you
@@catsarelit5305same 😔
@@catsarelit5305 me too
I know I'm super late but watching videos like this make me realize just how lucky I am to have parents like mine. I don't have depression but I do have a few other conditions such as OCD, and my parents made sure to take the time to research everything about my conditions and respond appropriately. Every negative thing here is something my parents either don't do at all or change into a positive way. For instance with the comparing I'm a writer and so my parents instead of saying “Why aren’t you as good as -” will instead say “Wow! Your writing is even better then -” filling the blank with my favorite writer and it makes me feel really good. As a kid I talk to myself the way my parents talk to me, and I know every kid does as well and because my parents shower me with affection and positivity I talk to myself the same way. I can only imagine the devistation whenever your parents instead of being kind and loving only ever talk to you with disdain and annoyance. Whenever I'm sad my parents instead of making it worse will team up to make it better for mem and they always make it better not worse. How horrible must a parent be to only add to there children’s struggle instead of help? I’m still young so I struggle with things but my parents are always there for me, and it makes me so heartbroken that my parents are the exception not the rule. I hope every parent watches this video and realizes how much it effects there kids and becomes more like my parents.
Same here. I'm lucky to have such loving and kind parents that always look out for me, or listen to my struggles so they can help. So it makes me sad to know that some parents out there only end up ruining or hurting their children.
For anyone who reads this, I hope you have a bright future and know that there will always be people that are kind, loving and are willing to care for you.
Sounds like a very loving and healthy bond between all of you. So glad to hear that generational traumas can be broken and children can be loved, supported and have their feelings validated. Hope you would continue the tradition for your own children and help create a world with healthy parents and healthy children. 🌎
This makes me happy I wish I had parents like you and I don’t even have it THAT bad
wow, im happy for you :> I wish my parents were less negative towards me because I started blaming myself for everything habitually and then my parents are like "why are you so negative" like what??
I cried watching this knowing how relatable this is to my depression..
You are not alone my guy..
When I was nine or something, I had a real breakdown. I was crying because I felt horrible about how I treated people, what was happening in my life, etc. I just found something to cry about. This went on for an hour, until my mom came in and talked kindly to me, hugged me, and snuggled me. I've always wished that could happen again, even if only just once. I loved that. It's like fuel for me to keep on going. My mom isn't a very sympathetic person, so the days she is extra nice, I remember them.
I'm 36 years old and I've been battling with depression for 20 years entirely on my own, because my parents always said I was just being "full of myself" and "overly vain" and I was told things like, "you're not that important in the grand scheme of things", "the world doesn't revolve around you", and "stop being so full of nonsense."
I never fit in anywhere, never had friends, I was always overshadowed by my brothers in everything, and I feel like an absolute and complete failure because I still live with my parents, and have been unemployed for 10 of the last 17 years, and my depression hasn't gotten better.
If anything, it's getting worse because of my age and lack of accomplishments, all the while I feel like I'm treated as a servant which isn't helped by the fact that people seem to be forgetting my name. They say the names of my brothers, cousins, or niece, and nephew, before they get to mine.
My parents, in one way or another did ALL of these to me my whole life. They never encouraged me cultural or artistic pursuits; quite the opposite, they were always overly critical, dismissive, or just outright told me I had no talent or aptitude for what I was attempting.
The ONLY thing they ever encouraged me in was a career as a chef, but I believe that was so that everybody would have an excuse not to cook, do dishes, or clean the kitchen; a belief supported by them telling me, "A chef cleans his kitchen."
I'm 36 years old, I can't play a musical instrument, can't draw to save my life, I don't sing or dance, I have no interest in acting... in fact, I don't actually know what I AM interested in. All I ever do is try to find ways of making money and play video games.
As someone half your age I'm not gonna lie I'm scared to get to that point too. That's why I'm never gonna stop drawing. I think that's the only worthwhile thing I've done over the past decade; draw and tell stories. Even so, I don't think it's too late for you to find something, new or old, that you're passionate for, like acting or a swim class. Maybe it won't even make you money, but if you aren't having any fun at all I don't think you're living!
When it all comes rushing back to you after you set down the controller or x outta yt like me, then you know how much that sucks. So, I guess that but doubled. That isn't related, btw. Please don't take off marks for I just wanted to say it. Good wishes
Wow I am sorry your having to go through that. You have every right to move out of that toxic household. Your 36 you can just leave and never come back. If you want you have every right to cut ties with your entire family. There’s no need to have space in your life for such toxic people. Your 36 and you deserve to live your own life. You can totally move out of the house asap. No one should be forced to live with their parents at that age. Your old enough to be the parent of a teenager
I only realized recently that those feelings within myself are mostly related to my adhd but my mother has a heavy hand in it
I am MUCH younger than you....but as someone who is also battling with depression, I can understand you. It's true that only people who suffer through this state, knows how exhausting it is. Most of the people don't see it as a real problem, when it is far more complicated than that, and just a few words like - "Be normal" " Stay happy" "It's okay".... doesn't always solve the problem. Some people try to help for the first two or three days but then they start treating us the same toxic way, frustrated about "why is she not healing when I've said sooo many supportive words to her."..... It's just that many people just don't see it as a real issue or are willing to help but don't really end up helping. So, my point is that, I've reached out for help, but ended up making my mental health even worse. So, we need to heal ourselves in this case. You said you play video games all day right? Because you're playing it all day, I can bet you're a pro in gaming. You can't tell me otherwise. So how about you stream your gaming skills on RUclips or post different gaming videos. All you have to do is have patience. Because RUclips takes a lot of time to blow up a channel. You just have to be consistent with uploading videos. However it'll be worth it. Don't worry, I know we all feel like it's a dead end and there's no way out. But trust me, there's always a door right in front of you. You just have to try hard to open it. You will win this battle, I will too, we all will. Just know, that when the world refuses to help, you still have yourself with you.
hey you don't want to see my stick figures! 🤣😂🤣 I can't subtract, divide, multiply on paper, never mind algebra, trig or chem. Playing video games is the best, I've been at it since 1986 at least. I would really recommend you reach out within your community for some kind of support program where you can gain some independence from those emotional vampires as they are ruining your life (as even you have admitted). There are people like you out there, you are not alone (so cliché but it's true). For the love of Mario just get in touch with a depression support group and they will help you become who you are meant to be. Oh and btw It's OK OK OK to be mediocre! It's ok not to have ambition to manage corporate takeovers. I'm fine with what I have and what I am (I gave up a career as a lawyer and now work in a museum and a language centre and I'm studying at the age of 42 to do these jobs). You're fine the way you are. Let us know if you've found some support otherwise I'm sure someone could help you (I am in Germany).
0:59
I feel like parents forget that they can just look it up, read a book about it, or ask someone about it. Instead, they either forget that or just choose not to.
I feel sick from this...
I'm only 10,and I literally have EVERYTHING in this Video.
Poor thing... i hope it gets better.
Me too........
Timestamps
1). They are constantly comparing me 1:07
2). They shut down moments of vulnerability 2:05
3). They guilt-trip you 3:08
4). They are overly strict 3:55
5). They blame you for everything 4:32
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
awww, thanks ❤
@@mychemicalbromance69 not a problem happy to help
Thanks so much for doing that you made my day
@@WhatdoyouWant-kt3ib not a problem happy to help
@@A55a551n that’s so sweet of you 🤍
Timestamps:
0:00 Intro
1:08 1: They’re constantly comparing you.
2:06 2:They shut down moments of your vulnerability.
3:10 3: They guilt-trip you.
3:56 4: They are over strict.
4:33 5: They blame you for everything.
5:21 Outro
Thanks!
I think the order is wrong…
You skipped the "They shut down moments of vulnerability" between 1 and 2. But thanks!
@@ORROProductionss the order is correct, he forgot about one of reasons
@@whatpach8145 thank lemme fix that
Yeah I've got strict parents who don't really understand mental health
I think they try but they've got a lot of bad behaviors ingrained into their personality and it's getting really tiring
I feel this so bad. you're not alone friend
@@iamfighterman9646 ????? what???
I feel SO weird. My mother is supportive of me, she accepts me, she HELPS me and yet I’m still not okay. I am so confused by my own emotions. My dad does games and gets mad easily. He isn’t the best but he never hurts me directly. He loves me, he wants me to succeed but I still compare myself to other, do things that I wasn’t even taught by the world to do. My life may be odd since I have divorced parents but that’s never gotten me in a bad place before, nothing has changed. Things have gotten BETTER. I disregarded therapy since “I’m fine” but after that I wasn’t fine. I asked for therapy now but… we just don’t have the money. I cut off bad people, but I live with my dad. I’m not crazily healthy but I’m not unhealthy to the point I’m sick. I feel fine but there’s just moments. I can’t stop myself from doing the things I know are wrong. But I’ve been trying. I’m getting better but I’m still stuck at a point I don’t know what to do. Any tips or is anyone able to tell me what’s wrong with me?? I’m just really lost at trying to fix myself right now.
Some of these points hit a little too close to home. As a teen I was told to “stop pretending to be a tortured artist” quite a bit. It was really tough. If I didn’t have a “real reason” to be sad, then I was dismissed and was assumed I was just pretending to get attention
Oh that's the favorite line by people who know nothing about depression "some people have much worse problems than you"
I relate to this very much.. my chest often tighten because I kept things to myself since my parent won't understand. That ended up me bottling things up inside. It's getting suffocating, really.
I wish all my problems went away. I can’t breath because I have too much. My grandma is dead, I had to abandon my friends and move, middle school is miserable, and self worth is a question always left unanswered, and I was once considered a selfish person because I am open about my feelings. I hate life
I have no tears left to cry
2 MONTHS AGO???
I tought u were saying that ariadnas song! 😭
I know this comment was made 2 months ago so I wanted to ask, how are you doing now?
@@Psych2gowhen was this video released unlisted
I feel the exact same way 💔
Ive been struggling and this channel has helped me so much. Thanks for being here when others i know cannot
I remember hearing the first one. "You have a good life, you could be someone dying of cancer." That turned into me eventually replying that I'd rather be dying from cancer than this. And the phone was my escape. I reached out to people on the internet, but there was only so much they could do. I didn't have a therapist and because they blew off my depression I didn't have anyone and my mom isolated me, and I eventually spiraled downwards. I remember having a breakdown because of a toxic boss being on my ass at work. Instead of being supported I was just told to grow up... that's when I started cutting... I started self harming as means of escape or a cry for help and it got worse. I started drinking whenever I could get a hold of alcohol and I cutted more. It wasn't until I had a major breakdown and almost killed myself that they finally realized this was serious and I got the mental help and support I needed, therapy and medication. 😩
Dear gode
@@BurgerCreeper_ yeah :/
i hope ur okay now!! no one deserves to go through that. sending lots of love ♥️♥️♥️♥️
@@alinx261 yeah I'm doing a lot better than I did then. I took a chance at faith and I moved out. I still have struggles here and there, but not as bad as back then. I've definitely improved a lot since then
"Why doesn't my child talk to me anymore"
My parents did these to me on the last years of my childhood, Im 12 now and it truly hurts that they're the same as before. But i let it slide because in our country, explaining your side is disrespectful and i had to bottle up all those feelings because i have to avoid those threats of disowning me. I still vividly remember when my mom said "I'll keep saying hurtful words" because of a small problem. I understand that my mom was struggling because she had to take care of me when she was young, her words hurt and she doesn't understand why i dont trust her because she was also pranking me alot; this one time she said my dad didn't arrive in time to pay my exam permits and i cried because school was the only safe plsce for me and i didn't wanna skip exams, she also pranked me many times like this and i lost count. I feel really worried on how she grew up when she had me and I'm really worried about her childhood because i dont know what influenced her into this. She also dismissed my eating problems and proceeded to say that im skinny and i don't need to worry. I feel really hurt and i don't know why she treats me like this.
(I struggle with expressing problems and deep stuff so sorry for the constant switch of topics)
The point about nothing ever being good enough hit me hard. My father was that way. When I first learned to use the computer to print out a story I had written, he didn't even read it, he just started marking it up with tabbing and spacing "mistakes" I had made. When I couldn't keep up in school because I was also in TAG, I was told I just had to work harder. When I had a 3.7 GPA and made the honor roll, I was told I should have made it to high honors. And as an adult, when I said I wanted to work in day care so I could be close to my young child while I was working, I was told I should get a "real job" in an office somewhere. Ironically, while all of this was happening my brother was being told he wasn't smart and well-mannered like I was. My father passed several years ago and my brother and I are mid-life and have a great relationship, but those scars never go away.
I’m 13, and I came out to my parents about 4 months ago after I had been doing SA for a long time. Even though it was the scariest thing I’ve ever had to tell them, I dicided it was the best thing because I knew I needed help. Before I did this I reached out to one of my good friends for support and how to tell them, he was very helpful. We talked about how to approach them, some advice during the conversation and what resources I need after. However their response when I did tell them was not pretty at all. They yelled and guilt tripped. Saying things like, “I can’t believe you have the audacity to tell someone else before us,” and, “Your life is so easy you have no right to feel this way. You’re probably just in it for attention,” And, “I failed as a parent. I do everything for you and this is how you act.”
It took a while for them to come around and get me help and That conversation made things a whole lot worse. Today though I am excited to say that it’s my first day of therapy and hopefully my first step at recovery!
Hitting the nail on the head again. I've come to accept now at the age of 31 that a future where I retain close proximity to my parents without holding onto some anger, bitterness and resentment for their absolutely thorough emotional and physical neglect of me doesn't really exist. They're not terrible people and they realise they've clearly made mistakes with me but living at home with them is and was a mistake for myself. Distance makes the heart grow fonder and the pressure I've felt from my cultural upbringing to look after them in their older years combined with a toxic and somewhat broken relationship has damaged my physical and mental health significantly the past 3 to 4 years.
This makes sense now I just thought there was a problem with me, my step mom was scary and everything that I said was pointless to her, thank you for helping me understand what's been happening.
I'm in my 30's and my parents worsened my depression/anxiety/ even gave me physical illnesses from the stress of dealing with them. Eventually, I had to go no-contact to heal.
Good, I’m glad that you’ve left your toxic parents.
is it good for me: when I'm crying and just wanna be alone, my father comes into my room and forcefully hugs me even if I DONT want to. and he asks me whats wrong. I'm always insecure about my worries and depressions and telling them to my parents, because they just laugh it off. Like stop. dont ask when you dont even help. I love your videos. they made my mental health more important for myself. I also always think me and my health wasnt important. cuz they didnt really care.
Wow... this struck a chord with me. I actually wish more people would talk about this, because it's something I see many people go through. 💔
I remember when teenage me finally gained the courage to tell my mom about my depression (at this point, I was suicidal and becoming afraid of myself). I didn't even mention me being depressed, I just brought up the topic of mental health and depression, but when I did, she asked me "You don't think you're depressed, do you?"
She then went on a lengthy tirade about how our family "doesn't get depressed", how I had no reason to be sad, I should be grateful, to never mention that I felt that way to a doctor or they'd put me on medicine that would "mess me up". Needless to say, she did much more damage to me than anyone else. I've never felt more alone in my life, because the larger part of me agreed with her. The guilt that you carry being depressed and not knowing why is something I can't put into words, but she personified that fear and amplified it tenfold.
Because I had already told myself that I didn't deserve to feel depressed. But that isn't even what hurt the most. It was the fact that years down the line, years after repairing all the damage she'd done to me (by myself), she started talking about her own anxiety, carrying it like a badge, and told me that she was prescribed medication for it....
All that being said, I truly believe this topic merits so much more attention than it gets, because it can really tear a person down in ways I can't describe.
Thank you so much for bringing it to light ❤❤
I am happy you are doing better now
@RainaWilkins Thank you, I am much better~ 💕
I've experienced similar things and it's detrimental to your health when family, friends and teachers cause these issues and then minimise or make fun them.
@GamingatFullpower Ofc! 💕 Granted, I'm no mental health professional in the slightest, and the biggest piece of advice I can offer you is to get help if you really need it. I tried toughing it out on my own, and it took sooo much longer to heal, and I'm still not where I need to be. If you find yourself not being able to get professional help, seek out free resources online, find anyone who will listen, contact a hotline if need be. Know that someone's out there, and they are more than willing to hear your story~
That being said, here are a few things I've learned through all these years:
1. Please be kind to yourself~ Treat yourself as you would treat the people you love most in the world.
2. Never undermine your experiences. Your pain is real, and under no pretenses does it NOT deserve to be remedied.
3. Know that you're exactly where you need to be. You don't have to have all the answers right now, and there's no need to rush. Trust that it will be alright in time.
4. Never look for self-worth outside of *yourself*. You are not your grades. You are not your appearance. You are not the way you are treated by others. You are remarkable. Extraordinary. There's only one you, and there will only EVER be one you. You are a miracle and a phenomenon within yourself, and you are worthy of kindness, peace, compassion, and love.
Life isn't easy. Sometimes, it may even get worse before it gets better. But as long as you remind yourself of these things, and hold strong (because you are), you will find that even the toughest times can be endured; that the courage to preservere forever dwells within you.
I'll impart this quote from Emily Dickinson as my last bit of guidance: “Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul - and sings the tunes without the words - and never stops at all.” John Green mentions this quote in his video, and he also brought to light one thing that really resonated with me: Emily Dickinson never said that you can always *hear* the song of hope, but that it never stops. Though you may not be able to hear it right now, know that it is always playing and will be heard again~
I'm so sorry for how lengthy this was, but I hope it helps!
Good luck, and I wish you every happiness~ 💜
Sorry to hear about your experience in opening up to them. It happened to me too, even as recently as last week when I told them about a painful experience in 2nd grade and they just minimized it. Well we are all of us connected in this day and age and there's always people who share your pain and experiences and your positivity and experiences help others as well. Thanks for sharing ♥
Managed to got over my teenage without too much problem, but now my brother shares the same fate with my younger self. Of course, my parents aren't ones to be overly strict or somethin' like that, but they seemed to never learn not to guilt-trip and comparing us, because 1. We hate the tone of their voices when they did that, and 2. We've heard it over and over again, and need something else to hear, like good advices.
Yup. I'm the youngest sibling left so now the only people in the house to talk to are them. They don't do all the things on this list, but they do make the environment not a healing space. Luckily I leave for college in a few days
@@jjaa_joyjoyartist oh? College, eh? Then I wish you the best of luck on your journey, then.
@@horacestorm13 thanks!
It's hard being the oldest sibling. Knowing you're "free" but they're still "stuck" there for a few years
01:08
What hurts more is the fact that that don't compare you with others. They compare you with yourself. Your past self which doesn't have depression.
Yeh, I remember sharing some of my heavy thoughts with nan and she would say, oh , you used to be such a freespirit
You messed up the grammer in first line
Do you meamean they compare us with our past selves? My parents barely do that.
Whenever I try to talk about my emotional abuse from my mother to my dad, he just says stuff like “She loves you very much!”,”She didn’t mean it that way!”,”You just need to spend more time with her!”, and the hardest hitting one: “Just forget about it!” Which hurts knowing that I can’t even open up to my dad about something he claims he has himself and have to go somewhere else entirely to even talk about it, talk about it to someone who isn’t even a human being, or just bottle it up and not talk about it at all.
2:33 Too relatable. They blame everything on technology, and try to find reasons to take it away
Yeah, exactly
Its because they want control
@@silverofthesunbears my parents abuse me it makes me sad they don't let me have friends so I play Roblox but then they try to take it away from me but Roblox is the only thing that I have ppl that care about me 😢
@@christinenilani1422 Reach out to local child protection services. Your parents CANNOT ban you from having social interactions
@@christinenilani1422same..😢
To those growing up and are all 'wow my parents do ALL of this!"
Trust me, you're not alone. I was one of them.
The SECOND you become an adult you need to move out, right away. Just drop everything and move far away from them. Trust me, you will grow and have such a better life one step at a time.
@hnchangmng7648same i am 10 and thinking the same thing
I feel like i need to send this to my mother. Every time me or one of my siblings struggled with life in general, she'd either dismiss it or belittle us. She also holds us (except for my youngest sister) up to ridiculously high standards, piling more pressure when it came to chores. This eventually accumilated to the point that me and my brother just don't care about meeting her standards. It also got to a point when we were going through depression, it was our dad who helped us (despite not knowing the full concept behind mental health). The only exception was from january-early march of 2023, where i'd gone through a break-up and was getting treated like trash by the ex and feeling depressed as a result, most of which i managed to work through myself with sibling support and keeping myself distracted, knowing my mum would just be dismissive or make things worse (i also didn't have a proper emotional connection with my dad then). Worst 9 weeks of my life, hands down.
In all seriousness, i will take this video as parenting tips ready for when i eventually become a parent myself
I’d like to say that thanks for making this video and helping parents how to help with depression, also to everyone reading this comment, unless your parents understand depression and mental illnesses, don’t tell them and try to find a therapist for it, but first check laws because sometimes you can’t get a therapist as a minor without parent/guardian consent, and if you can forge your parent’s signature and do everything else, then you’re pretty smart and resourceful and can get help, sooo please if you have depression, go to therapy
My mom will always say I’m fine. Whether I’m in physical, mental or emotional pain. I once started having a depressive episode and a panic attack at my job in front of all my coworkers and my boss. And I called her to ask if I could come home. She told me “you’re fine! I deal with depression all the time.” I felt so hollow and embarrassed that I basically just threw myself into work. I then proceeded to pass out when I got home. Which I was then called lazy for. My ankle right now feels like it’s being stabbed whenever I take a step. And she just brushed it off. I’m just the “happy go lucky only boy in the family.” I’m not allowed to be angry or upset, i don’t even remember what it’s like to genuinely smile without feeling guilty for it. And as of recently I’ve discovered scars underneath both of my wrists. I don’t remember making them.
You makes me super sad because you are living example of 'it will never get better. Even if you grew up from you teen depression and became a young adult there is no reason for you to feel better'. But well guess we are all fucked up. I gotta hand it to you that you have all rights to feel bad and depressed and have no reasons to feel guilty about it. I feel bad for you bad you gotta understand few facts...
1 It is ok to feel sad, bad guilty, awfull and have depression, It is ok to wants to die and to wants to feel happy (you deserve happines just like everyone) and to wants to be acepted, be enough by beijg just you.
2 You mother is toxic pice of shit that you should avoid all ways you can. I know it hurts my mother is no better. She also is my only parent and I must to live with her because of my age. You propably have your reasons too but you should do anything to get away from her. Fast and for good. She seems like the kind of person that you will never be good enough for whatever you do so just stop trying to find comfort in her and bare in mind - mark - that she may be your mother and the reason you came to this world but you own her nothing for that and it is not the only thing you should be admired by.
3 You should try seeking help. You are an adult I suppose so please get an appointment at psychologist/psychiatrist or even in a psychiatric ward. It is meant to help you. Please don't harm yourself even if you don't remember it don't do it intentionaly.
Also the important thing is that you should try change your life anyhow. moving out. Going to live onboard in other countres. Or by finding friends or a lover (know it's not easy but trying never hurts) you can try something that used to make you happy or supposed to at least like having a day of for a nice diner with a movie to rest a bit. Or finding a new job - not saying quit immidiatly but look around for something better? The previous one seems like it is draining you... Please get better even if advices are not accurate enoughjust try overthink anything that you could do for yourself to help you. - gonna sound like shit but I (someone unknown in other side of the world) cares for your well being, ok?
True
I’m so sorry. I don’t pretend to know what your life is like, but I would recommend going to a therapist, outside of your moms influence. Ask your father, or if that is not possible, ask another adult who you trust to help you get a therapist.
I don’t trust anyone. Or at least not fully.
I honestly feel bad for everybody out there that has to deal with these kinds of parents.. nobody should be treated as if depression is an excuse.. everybody should be treated fairly, and nobody should have to feel like they're nobodies..
The comparing
Getting a high score and telling my parents with happiness inside and the outside while they ask "Are you the best kid in class? Couldn't you do better? Why can't you be like him?!" Leaving you to sadness and burning inside now. I would try my best to hear an "your the best! You did a good job!!" But it never happens. After the school ended, they gave all the kids how good they were with numbers. I got an 80% and my mom said "that's the worst score! It's been 3 years and what did you learn?! Nothing." Like that and shaming me. And I would be called the disgusting but pretty one in middle of my family. It's hard to talk things out when you got thoughts like "if I talk to them about this, they be mad. They will not care. They will be sad, they won't understand, they will think I'm a weirdo"
And just to not get down with depression, I would be the class clown and talk about funny things to keep myself away from this. My head would be full of "I'm always fine, I have a great happy family. My life is loving and caring so I shouldn't be sad about anything" while having problems with these.
You're doing a good job, you aren't "disgusting" or such things, you are doing your best, and that's what matters, not the negative things that your parents said to you,
You're doing a good job, you aren't "disgusting" or such things, you are doing your best, and that's what matters, not the negative things that your parents said to you,
I already have depression even though I’m not in my teens yet,everything here is mentioned about me especially comparing and yet they don’t let me lock my doors to calm myself from them
I’ve actually read an article about my parents anger issues and one suggested to move out as quickly as possible to avoid anymore and I chose it
Sadly, this was my teen life-my parents were incredibly strict, had extremely high expectations, and made me feel like everything I did was either wrong or fake because I was doing it to please them and others. When I was 19, after my father died unexpectedly, I did fall into a depression that took years to come out of. The feelings of isolation, "hollowness" and being unheard truly are painful. More parents should see this so they don't worsen the depression their children may have.
I never wanted to say I had depression, and I never blamed my parents... Now I'm 18, my girlfriend helped me to see that it's not me, but it's too late now, I'm an adult, I just wish I noticed before...
It's not your fault and it's never too late to take charge so you can be happier.
It's an excellent point that many parents do not have a full understanding of what depression really is. When they don't understand it, they don't really know how to appropriately respond. This only makes it even harder on the child!
My parents guilt trip me into hanging out with kids I don’t like and are younger than me…. I’m always blamed for things I never did.. I feel like I can’t go to anyone cause averyone had there own problems and laying mine on them makes me feel horrible so I keep my feelings to myself and hold my friends feelings cause they tell me everything and I feel like I’m going to snap at any moment.. watching this really helped me understand a lot thank you..
I can't watch this no more. It's so emotional. I see lots of parents that treat their kids like this, and it's wrong. And I understand the pain because my mom, step dad treated me like I was nothing and took advantage of me. They will bully me.
In a way, I'm glad I see this video because it helps me learn how to be an understandable person, especially that I'm an aunt. And i don't want to do the same exact mistakes my mom did.
Hopefully, if i ever have kids, I be a wonderful and understandable mother.
Everyone deserves to be heard no matter how old or young they are. And support them. This video makes me emotional
I remember how in any conflict situation I got as a child my parents wasn't on my side. Like even if I was not the wrong one, they would always twist the situation to make me guilty. I have a very vivid memory when I was like four y.o. and I realized: nobody would stood up for me or protect me. I have to deal with my problems myself. So I stopped telling them about my troubles since. Later they asked me if someone bullies me at school from time to time, and even if someone did, I never told them. I knew it was pointless. They would only make me feel worse without providing any solution to the problem not to mention emotional support. I grew up very independent. I moved out when I was 16, I finished college, now I work two jobs to buy a house. But I suffer from depression since 20, and my therapist says that its because the way I see the world is very dark and pessimistic. I perceive every person I met as bad by default, and a world itself as dangerous. I never felt romantic attraction towards anyone. I don't even trust the people I consider friends. And the worst part, even though this mindset brings me misery, I terrified of a thought about changing it, cause a I feel like I owe everything I achieved in my life to it.
this exact thing happened to me. Where you end up raising yourself basically. You've done great and it's great to be able to read your history. It's fine to not be a walking pot of rainbows. It's great that you have therapy and I recommend you keep going. Sometimes it takes time to find a therapist you click with. Good that you're here.
@@cocobunitacobuni8738 thank you very much for the support ❤️
this vid resonates with me SOOOO much, i was beating myself up for even clicking on this, yelling at my victim mentality, but now i'm scared-
FOUR MONTHS AGO??
Which part resonated with you the most?
@@yasminaminaminawait how-
@@froog2 we don’t ask questions atp
@@yasminaminaminait released unlisted
I remember one time I flat out said I hate my family so much and they were shocked of how much hatred I have built over the years
This is exactly what I had with my mom when I was 16-19. I'm now 21. And it's still difficult to see who she actually is to me even tho we're all out of that situation. I needed that love and understanding. But I got the "you can't be depressed, I'm depressed". etc etc talk.
Luckily all that is over tho. But even then it can be difficult sometimes. But for anyone who is in this situation, stick to your own believes. Don't let them drag you down in their own misery.
I now have 2 people in my life that from the start adopted me in spirits (not literally or official). That couple showed me love, understanding and affection. When I started to create a bond with them. I knew that it's exactly what I would've needed from my own parents when I was a kid.
My parents do basically everything spoken about in the video. The worst thing is they cant swallow their pride and understand they've failed at raising me and are better off leaving me alone to do my own thing, instead of harassing me to get up at a certain time, or to get my schoolwork done (I take online classes that go at my pace), or to yutrry up and get my driver's license. They say they want a good relationship with me, but that feels like a bold faced lie, and i know i don't want a relationship with them anymore anyways. I wanna grow up and get out. I just feel trapped here, not safe.
Now this is a perfect backstory for the FBI
(I am so sorry if I offended you)(I just wanted to lighten the mood)(it’s a joke)(sorry)
@@lavenderiris9744 nah, nah. This is funny and did lighten the mood
Thank you for the awesome video! Here are some more things parents might do that could fuel teenage depression:
1. Lack of Communication: Ignoring or not engaging in open conversations with your teenager can make them feel isolated and unheard, which may contribute to feelings of depression.
2. Overwhelming Pressure: Putting excessive pressure on your teenager to excel in academics, sports, or other activities can lead to stress and a sense of failure if they can't meet your expectations.
3. Comparisons: Constantly comparing your teenager to others can lower their self-esteem and create a sense of inadequacy, potentially leading to depressive feelings.
4. Dismissing Emotions: Dismissing or trivializing your teenager's emotions, like saying "you're just being dramatic," can make them reluctant to express their feelings and lead to depression.
5. Overprotectiveness: Being overly controlling or not allowing your teenager to have some independence can hinder their personal growth and contribute to feelings of helplessness.
6. Invalidation: Invalidating your teenager's emotions by telling them their feelings aren't valid or that they shouldn't feel a certain way can make them suppress their emotions and lead to depression.
7. Unrealistic Expectations: Setting unrealistic expectations for your teenager's behavior, appearance, or achievements can create immense stress and self-doubt, contributing to depression.
8. Neglecting Mental Health: Ignoring or downplaying mental health issues can prevent your teenager from seeking help when needed, worsening their depression.
9. Criticism: Constantly criticizing or belittling your teenager's actions or decisions can erode their self-esteem and lead to depressive thoughts.
10. Conflict at Home: Frequent conflicts, yelling, and arguments in the household can create a hostile environment that negatively impacts your teenager's mental health.
11. Negative Role Modeling: Displaying negative coping mechanisms, such as substance abuse or unhealthy relationships, can indirectly encourage your teenager to adopt similar behaviors.
12. Unrealistic Body Image Standards: Promoting unrealistic body image standards can lead to body dissatisfaction and contribute to feelings of depression, especially in teenagers.
13. Neglecting Self-Care: Not prioritizing your own mental and emotional well-being can set an example that neglecting self-care is acceptable, impacting your teenager's understanding of their own well-being.
14. Invasion of Privacy: Invading your teenager's privacy and not respecting their boundaries can make them feel violated and less likely to trust you, potentially leading to depression.
It's crucial for parents to maintain open lines of communication, provide emotional support, and be mindful of their actions to foster a positive and healthy environment for their teenagers. If you suspect your teenager is struggling with depression, seeking professional help is essential.
Dame this is so true. Thank you for sharing this comment and for work you put in making it. It is awesome ❤
10 and 14 are so insidious they're never discussed! V true
My depression grew so much that i could not even rely on my parents anymore.i had to seek on social media for help by creating an depression account and telling people my story.
Too many are true. The worst is that I also have autism and parents who like to make fun of it or blame me for the problems it causes.
Same here. I also have autism and ADHD.
Growing up with my grandmother due to family issues, I had depression, but when I tried telling anyone - anyone at all, they said I’m fine. Even my doctors. Whenever I got straight A’s, I was pushed to get straight A+’s and felt like I wasn’t good enough because I’d worked so hard to study the piano, for school, etc. The one person who was actually interested was my middle school band teacher, and he told me he could completely relate to me with everything, even my family issues. This video is so true.
Dude. You are absolutely goated for being able to hold up like this. I salute to you my friend.
I am very late to this video-
My mother and father argue a lot and somehow it used to end up being my fault. I used to get accused of ‘taking sides’ with my mum or dad so one of them would always be angry with me. When we used to go on car trips and my parents missed the turn, suddenly it would be my fault for talking too much (and I’m a really quiet person). Luckily I never suffered from depression but I was always anxious wondering what I was going to get blamed for next. I eventually got the courage to point out what they were doing, my mother apologised and promised to be better in the future and my father told me all this screen time was making me upset. But I’ve very grateful for my mums support ❤. Sorry for venting but writing makes me feel comfortable.
DO NOT apologize for venting. I'm glad you were able to get the support from your mother. Hope you're doing better now, pal. 😊
I'm an adult that still lives at home. I grew up with a lot of the experiences listed in the video, and for the most part, I still do. My parents are very dismissive of any mental heath issue that isn't "serious" like bipolar disorder or Schizophrenia.
My mom is upset with herself because she tells me and my siblings that she wanted to create an environment to where we could talk to her about anything, but me and my siblings all unanimously concluded that's not the case. She says she wants to create tha environment going forward, but any time I attempt to be vulnerable with her, she's dismissive. When I tried to start a conversation with her about my mental health, she was saying one thing, but her face and tone of voice was gave away what she was really thinking, which is thay she didn't believe me. That was the last nail in the coffin for me when it comes to opening up to her.
I wouldn't even dare try to talk about that with my dad. I'm a preacher's kid. He would try to pray all of the problems away. Also, from what my brother says when he tried to open up, my dad was very unserious and made a joke of everything.
Needless to say, going forward, neither of them will know anything about my personal life. I feel it would be a waste of my time and energy to share anything with them if they're not going to take me seriously.
Sorry about that I have the same problem too but in my case my mom prays her problems away and then starts complaining about it the whole day sometimes I think being a black kid suck while my European friends have the best just why
@@ZeroShadowX I'm also black. I feel it's much harder trying to get the older members of our community to listen about these sorts of things
@@justAmood8 i just wished Thier mentality wasn't stuck in 1500 study all day, no friends because Thier are demons in them get a degree and a family even if you don't want to
I'm in my sixties. My parents referred to my "silly" teenage years and even threw my antidepressants in the bin and laughed about it.
I hope that you’ve left home. Don’t help them and don’t go to their funeral.
@@rbsmith3365 They're both dead now. I went to their funerals to keep up appearances and am in therapy to try and banish memories of them which still cause pain. I'm making progress. Thank you for your comment. It's very helpful.
All the best for you and everyone that struggle with or without mental health issues 🌌❤🤗😊
Jesus Christ what kind of parent throws thier child’s antidepressants in the bin
@@elliottpakhe is in 60s so I guess 1980s
My mom had mental issues herself ever since my father passed away, that was at my age of 10.
She barely even could handle life, always found herself again in situations where she was used by others and I myself have been way too much work for her as well, suffering from massive bullying in school by both classmates and teachers as well as her aunt whenever she visited us.
I wouldn't say I am still struggling like back then but I definitely have my issues in life.too now at the age of 32.
Similar to me my mother isn’t ill but I think she is depressed to a degree. I was 11 and grew up with 5 older sister siblings. Sorry u went through this too.
My parents are like this. All that have been said have happend to me. They compare me to others. They blame for everything and i am what they call they most dissaponting child of their family. They are so judgemental. Its so upsetting
4:45 yes, this is happening frecuently, espectualy when i`m cleaning up after myself (spilled juice/e.t.c), i just getting shouted cause i still didnt cleand some place.
2:06 is so true. I’m always scared to tell my parents what’s going on and I’m scared to cry around them, because they always get pissed off at me when I cry over little things and tell me to grow up…
this us kind of a vent sry
i relate to this one so much
im gong through a some shit rn and i don’t know why
im crying rn
this segment is too relatable 😔
my parents don’t listen to me so i dont tell them stuff
something that just crushed me and started giving me anxiety was the fact that when i told my mom i was genderfluid and wanted to go by the name Max, she just brushed it off and thought it was a silly phase and refused to use my preferred name. she engorged me to be a ally but when i tell her about my identity she doesnt support me.
ive also told her im a furry. she just to,d me all furrys over 18 are perverts. they’re literally people cosplaying animals with human features. the majority of us are against the bad side of the furry fandom (perverts, zoos, etc)
it just crushes me. she’s always said to be myself and i am. im trying to be a good person. i have dark humor and i can be toxic at all lot of times. she doesn’t like it. i dont want to be toxic either. im working on improving. im actually being myself around her and she hates it. she’s off and on about supporting me and i dont know what to do.
@@MaxIsEatingLegos I’m a furry too and that’s exactly what I’m afraid of telling my parents. I don’t think they would mind if I came out as bi or gay or genderfluid (I am straight lmao, and Christian- I fully support lgbtq), but I’m pretty sure they don’t like furries.
Honestly, most of what you’re saying is relatable too! And I don’t mind the vent. ^^
@@AuroraTheTherian45 honestly, my best advice is dont. also, thanks for not minding by vent ❤️
@@MaxIsEatingLegos yeah I r decided not to tell them
My dad does the same thing. I don’t want him to see me crying because I know he’s going to use the classic line “what do you have to cry about?”, or something similar. He always starts yelling at me, which causes me to start breaking down even more, and make his yelling and my crying worse and worse. I hate being around him, since his behavior can turn on a dime when you tell him something he apparently didn’t want to hear. He tells me I can talk to him about my mental health, yet when I do, the conversation gets shot down, and he ignores me.
Thank you for these great videos,they will benefit so many people!
When I was in my teens these signs were only a sign of weakness - you just had to ‘man up’, which can be very harmful. Luckily I managed to escape all that and built my own life. It took many years to get over the harm that had been caused but I got there in the end☺️
I belive that this comment will be inspiring not only for me but for other hopeless teens too ❤
@@user-sb4rr8oq3u wishing you all the strength you need🤗 Keep looking forward!
toxic masculinity is the worst. I am teaching my son that his feelings are all real and valid and that it's great when he shares them with us.
@@cocobunitacobuni8738Good for you for breaking the cycle! 😁
@@cocobunitacobuni8738 You are awesome. You will definetly rise him well
I cannot explain how much I understand this and relate to it. My parents have softened on me a bit about not going out. Now, I go out with friends, or by myself, only to escape my family and my troubles.
damn... it must be hard... and no, i am not here to pretend like i have it like you... hope you have a nice day...
every time a student would get mad or angry in my third grade class, they would often call their altitude, actions, or emotions, ugly, which something that a teacher should never do to calm students down.
4:33 Yeah... Like in my family...
"Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, but a good word makes it glad."
We had this figured out since the time of Solomon (3-4k years), yet we are still going through the same song and dance every generation. When you get the chance, talk to your family. If you don’t have family you trust including extended family, talk to a trusted friend. If you don’t have any friends you trust, ask family or friends to go to the park or a nature trail with no talking so that you can be out in nature or touch grass. If that's not an option, seek a counselor, therapist, or a mentor. If you are a teen or in your early 20's, it is not too late to turn things around; you still have a chance to make things right, so take the shot I never did. "Farwell, Good Hunter. May you find your worth in the waking world." "Goodbye friend. Stay safe. Don’t you dare go hollow"
Thank for this. I have anxiety and after a situation with my sister I am going to tell her about my feelings. I’ll tell you how it goes. But first, I need to prepare what I want to say.
Yo it's never too late to turn things around for yourself. For certain relationships maybe but not ever for yourself
There always like “you have a good life, you get good grades, you have friends, you have a loving family” like thats gonna change me and make me say hey, ya know what I’m not gonna be depressed anymore because all of that is definitely true!
Thank you so much for the video! Is there any chance that a future video about ways parents may make their child/teen depressed? I would want to seek support, but am scared of judgement from my parents, who don't understand mental health illnesses, so I don't usually express my feelings fully to them. Also, I am left with no choice but to complete daily tasks, no matter how draining they are. It would be amazing if this was explained in a future video. Thank you so much again!