When You Disappear On A Narcissist

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  • Опубликовано: 19 янв 2025

Комментарии • 504

  • @bumberClart1000
    @bumberClart1000 Месяц назад +212

    No contact was the best thing I ever did in my life.

    • @ParisReed-o3n
      @ParisReed-o3n 23 дня назад +3

      I went to Africa it amazes me how they all are the same like WOW

    • @Ranee1866
      @Ranee1866 12 часов назад

      Mee too, he's lovebombing his new victims now, their storm is just brewing

  • @lt3074
    @lt3074 2 месяца назад +491

    He can smear me all he wants. God knows the truth, and that's all that matters to me.

    • @Prometheuspredator
      @Prometheuspredator 2 месяца назад +25

      Amen. Thst is excately the way I feel. Smear away....

    • @matthewtrucking2014
      @matthewtrucking2014 2 месяца назад

      YEP.. My wife and can smear me all over.. I already Texted her on 11-11-2024 That GOD can see and hear everything you are telling your family about me.. GOD said, do not worry about what your wife is telling people.. Your fine. Always for 5 years accusing me of another women.. Always wants me in her site. I can have no friends. I say go jump in the lake. Crazy lady. Right now separated for 60 days. I left her with my phone. I told her family she has problems. ETC ETC Oh I am the bad man.. Really.

    • @ryan_dasan
      @ryan_dasan Месяц назад +1

      Ummm ok

    • @laurawilliams7407
      @laurawilliams7407 Месяц назад +9

      Same. He has been. I know the truth and don’t care. I have peace.

    • @matthewtrucking2014
      @matthewtrucking2014 Месяц назад +2

      @laurawilliams7407 Well just a quick comment. I am divorcing my wife. 32 yrs marriage. She just left said. I did not want to see family. Just an excuse. She was already involved with another man. For 1.5 years lawyer has proof now. For 5 years she would say I was having affairs. Not true will do Polygraph on that soon and other things and give to her attorney. She is cracking up mentally her family must know now. Us the other man can keep her. He is a 3 time DUI convictions on 10 years probation. Also constantly moving and owns nothing. But anyway I feel good now that she is gone.

  • @MidnhtCrzr
    @MidnhtCrzr 2 месяца назад +298

    Once you're out of narcissism, stay out!

    • @marytaylor9504
      @marytaylor9504 Месяц назад +11

      Yes Never go back into destruction!!!

    • @marytaylor9504
      @marytaylor9504 Месяц назад +11

      Yes PLEASE STAY AWAY!! Keep your mind SOUND!!!

  • @MHLivestreams
    @MHLivestreams 3 месяца назад +491

    Everyone has a breaking point, and it's not like it's out of the blue either. They saw it coming, and didn't care. Quite the opposite, they turn up the heat. Wish them well and move on.

    • @R73949
      @R73949 3 месяца назад +8

      Right.

    • @troymcdaniels-tm1dr
      @troymcdaniels-tm1dr 2 месяца назад +37

      They thought you would never leave but are scared you will.

    • @Rowganlife
      @Rowganlife 2 месяца назад +8

      that was my experience. i literally told her that i would have to take the kids away from her for over a year before a major violence incident occured in front of the kids, and that was my queue to GTFO!

    • @kw3113
      @kw3113 2 месяца назад +6

      Truer words. I tried for 59 years to be a good daughter. When I decided enough I went no contact with my mother and lost my sister by default. Only continued forgiveness of the matriarch would keep this mess together and I was done.

    • @JohnSmith-lk8cy
      @JohnSmith-lk8cy 2 месяца назад +11

      Yes that puzzles me. They are given warning like me moving into the spare room three times over the years and telling them how their behaviour affects the relationship. Then when I finally left they act shocked. What is that about? .

  • @mememcguire1616
    @mememcguire1616 28 дней назад +60

    All the Narcissist does is talk about themselves. My experience is they can't fall in Love. They are in love with themselves.

  • @user-vj2sn7vv5s
    @user-vj2sn7vv5s 3 месяца назад +452

    I changed my number and we live apart in different cities about 1 hour away , I went dark on Social Media and closed my accounts . I just want to stay under the Radar right now while working on healing and finding myself again.

    • @detjaggillar8081
      @detjaggillar8081 2 месяца назад +25

      God job and thinking: Protect Your self at all costs 💥👊🙏🌹💞

    • @Rowganlife
      @Rowganlife 2 месяца назад +26

      best wishes, these people are horrible.

    • @elenavermeulen8580
      @elenavermeulen8580 2 месяца назад +22

      I did the EXACT same thing, since a month already. A lot of strength to you!

    • @ronmendez22
      @ronmendez22 2 месяца назад +21

      I did that 9 year ago. Best decision.

    • @malibu90265
      @malibu90265 2 месяца назад +11

      Me too. It was the only way to stay alive. Be well. Flourish.

  • @lt3074
    @lt3074 2 месяца назад +175

    He will never get a chance to soeak to me, he's blocked on all fronts. Even if he walked past me and spoke, I will act like he doesn't exist . I will not entertain a demon, game over!

    • @Goldenlife0527
      @Goldenlife0527 Месяц назад +5

      I said the same thing that if I ran into them on the street I would act like I don’t even know them

    • @helgavanraam29
      @helgavanraam29 Месяц назад +3

      same here. And it works for almost 2 years now. I've found peace again

    • @lt3074
      @lt3074 Месяц назад +1

      @helgavanraam29 ❤️

    • @marytaylor9504
      @marytaylor9504 23 дня назад +2

      @lt3074 I would do the same!!! I Don't know you!!!

    • @lt3074
      @lt3074 23 дня назад +1

      @marytaylor9504 ❤️

  • @nobodyimportant76467
    @nobodyimportant76467 3 месяца назад +273

    Here’s a thought - it doesn’t matter. All that matters is you don’t have to listen to them anymore

    • @mr.anderson3369
      @mr.anderson3369 2 месяца назад +11

      It helps to understand the game.
      “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”
      - George Santayana, The Life of Reason, 1905

    • @nobodyimportant76467
      @nobodyimportant76467 2 месяца назад +7

      @@mr.anderson3369My mother, my sister, my son’s mother, and my cousin are all malignant narcissists. I understand the game far too well - and I disengage because it’s just not worth it

    • @sv-yh3mq
      @sv-yh3mq 2 месяца назад

      ​@@nobodyimportant76467yes, I agree with your input here.

    • @thechannelofself
      @thechannelofself 2 месяца назад

      😂

    • @lifeofbrian1977
      @lifeofbrian1977 Месяц назад

      Exactly. Stop watering the plant and it will shrivel up and die. Same with toxic relationships. Apathy is highly effective.

  • @Prometheuspredator
    @Prometheuspredator 2 месяца назад +215

    When you disappear and go no contact like forever...drives them batty. They obsess and ruminate about you. They become emotionally stunted and feel not sufficent enough, they become paranoid and experience delusions. You have hurt them and their ego, and sense of grandiosity. Big narcissistic collapse.

    • @nessauk2786
      @nessauk2786 2 месяца назад +18

      @@Prometheuspredator After which they will do anything to seak revenge for such hence the stalking and fake accounts,friends requests.They require your adulation to survive.

    • @Prometheuspredator
      @Prometheuspredator 2 месяца назад +1

      @@nessauk2786 True. I went no contact and have had nothing to do with them for years. I cut off the relationships secretly and said nothing. They can stalk me, smear my name, obsess about me and the whole gamet, but l don't care. I don't owe them anything. I live my life with peace and happiness and that is what I care about.

    • @fredaankobia4447
      @fredaankobia4447 2 месяца назад +21

      And potentially very dangerous.

    • @Prometheuspredator
      @Prometheuspredator 2 месяца назад +16

      @fredaankobia4447 Most definately very dangerous as that is why I mentioned going contact...forever. To never return their attempts to contact you...total blackout.

    • @sbella6719
      @sbella6719 2 месяца назад +14

      I went no contact forever 60 days ago. Now I just wish I could stop the ruminating.

  • @bryanwhitehouse4141
    @bryanwhitehouse4141 3 месяца назад +144

    I had never realized before that this vile, toxic behaviour was so common. Thanks for your insight Anoushka.

    • @pegggymallis324
      @pegggymallis324 2 месяца назад +6

      Not easy to talk about because you don't see it coming, never hurt them, and then they don't like the exact same person for years. I'm out. Quietly going no contact. Sad. But life is a mixed bag. I know who I am and like myself for having strong morals, and am happy. Run Forest Run

    • @blinkyy1088
      @blinkyy1088 2 месяца назад +5

      I think easy access to education on narcissistic behavior is quickly becoming more common

    • @daxachampaneri9390
      @daxachampaneri9390 2 месяца назад +2

      I feel so isolated pls help

    • @NarcFreedom
      @NarcFreedom 2 месяца назад +6

      It’s everywhere. And worse now because of social media and the shallow nature of meeting people for sex or whatever.

    • @marytaylor9504
      @marytaylor9504 Месяц назад +1

      Yes thanks for all the information you are giving to us!!! I'm now NO longer naive!!!

  • @MidnhtCrzr
    @MidnhtCrzr Месяц назад +56

    Narcissists always say they've changed. Don't buy it.

    • @gloriamusau6681
      @gloriamusau6681 21 день назад +2

      💯 ✔️

    • @ambernikd2091
      @ambernikd2091 13 дней назад

      They do change. RUclips is very destructive and too many videos about how to run and not how to understand and grow. Im sorry so many of you have this experience

    • @Dean-zn8du
      @Dean-zn8du День назад

      Change can mean many things

  • @lisacaraballo5755
    @lisacaraballo5755 2 месяца назад +71

    I’m loving this. I ditched 3 ppl in my life that are all narcissists and I can’t saying I’m missing any of them. They all are miserable and like stealing others joy.

    • @AFK62-u7e
      @AFK62-u7e 2 месяца назад +4

      Bravo! I ditched four recently; it's so liberating.

    • @Hope-l6r3k
      @Hope-l6r3k 2 месяца назад

      😂😂😂

    • @helgavanraam29
      @helgavanraam29 Месяц назад +1

      Excellent!! I ditched 5 ppl; it's the best i did last 2 years!

  • @mariecruze259
    @mariecruze259 3 месяца назад +169

    I see patterns and follow accordingly
    My peace is so important

    • @R73949
      @R73949 3 месяца назад +8

      Same here

    • @stardustdreams234
      @stardustdreams234 5 часов назад

      I decided to ignore the patterns for a year, but after today I'm done

  • @lt3074
    @lt3074 2 месяца назад +209

    The narc I was involved with never apologized, he was never wrong.

    • @JesusLovesYou86758
      @JesusLovesYou86758 2 месяца назад

      It is cause he is mentally disabled

    • @ilonaandlivia
      @ilonaandlivia 2 месяца назад +19

      They never do

    • @viewerwatching5712
      @viewerwatching5712 2 месяца назад +13

      She never was wrong in 20 years

    • @EclipsTV
      @EclipsTV 2 месяца назад +20

      None of them are wrong, none of them need help, none of them need to change, and all of them should get their way and control 100% of the time. They are perfect, and we don't deserve them.

    • @lorettahalfacre5864
      @lorettahalfacre5864 2 месяца назад +4

      That is what I'm currently dealing with

  • @MidnhtCrzr
    @MidnhtCrzr 2 месяца назад +72

    I recently terminated what I thought was a 40-yr friendship because it wasn't a friendship. I was just being used for the narcissist to get their supply.

    • @jillianjillian5493
      @jillianjillian5493 Месяц назад +6

      Omg! Mine was a 37 year so called friendship. I just ended it today...hats off to us😊

  • @shilohwoods4516
    @shilohwoods4516 Месяц назад +44

    I go silent because I can not keep up with their excuses as to why I am at fault. I can never out-think them, so I go very, very quiet.

    • @Cassandra.695.11
      @Cassandra.695.11 Месяц назад +5

      Wow I can relate

    • @jessicacereceres6211
      @jessicacereceres6211 8 дней назад +3

      I know exactly what you mean. It’s like you go blank and when you can make points with them
      You don’t because they’re so hypersensitive and argumentative that it’s just not worth bringing up because of their lack of accountability

  • @Kim-kw7fo
    @Kim-kw7fo 2 месяца назад +83

    Leave. Live in PEACE not PIECES.

  • @belmont4511
    @belmont4511 2 месяца назад +80

    I don't mind the peace and quiet. And they can stay where they are at. I don't need to be there.

    • @daxachampaneri9390
      @daxachampaneri9390 2 месяца назад +1

      I feel peace in my mind but still living in his home living in my bedroom 😢😊

    • @belmont4511
      @belmont4511 2 месяца назад

      @daxachampaneri9390 suck for you.

  • @RugbyLeagueHistory
    @RugbyLeagueHistory 2 месяца назад +68

    My girlfriend was in a relationship with a narcissist for three year. He were physically and emotionally abusive. After she finally called it quits, initially he was sending her messages saying "I am so glad it's over" along with other nasty messages that involved a bit of swearing. When he realised that she wasn't coming back to him and things were over for good, the situation got very sticky, especially for the both of us. It wasn't nice at all, I copped a lot of threatening/abusive messages, he then tried attacking us on Facebook, then going around town saying things about us to people we knew. I'm pretty sure other people reading this comment might have been through the same thing.

    • @Lewis.Howes11
      @Lewis.Howes11 17 дней назад +4

      I swear

    • @msbee5971
      @msbee5971 2 дня назад

      Yep....exactly the same thing. I didn't stop him. I laughed at him. He was furious and stopped. Then stalked me....got a restraining order for 3yrs. Now it's expired. Just last week a text in the middle of the night. It's him! I won't respond maybe another restraining if it continues. 🫤

  • @annettewest8739
    @annettewest8739 2 месяца назад +34

    22 years I spent. Im 55 and when I decided to leave, I did exactly that. No Contact. I didnt even know what narcissism was or codependency. I started googling things and found a quiz. skewed it in his favor and I learned all about him. Then it was time to learn why I...... and learn all about the role I played. There are two players in the game only one doesn't know its a game and is sincere in intent. Only to get royally screwed over when the time is right for them. Be careful. Be very very careful with these people. Male or female.

    • @andrewhitney4194
      @andrewhitney4194 Месяц назад +2

      What happened?? Hope you didn’t suffer any danger or bad situation..
      The one I can’t get rid of yet, always yells out my house might catch on fire.. if I Pursue making him leave against his will. I know he can break into any lock so I would have to take precautions on surveillance camera and extra locks and hope he wouldn’t come around , but I know he’s possessive and thinks he has rights to my house since he’s been a while ..(too long). He would be mad and want to mess something up of mine.

  • @missuniverse8931
    @missuniverse8931 15 дней назад +9

    There was a guy who didn’t contact me and either. I got a email saying, I love and miss you. I didn’t respond. I got a better job, bought a house in a whole different city. I haven’t spoke with that crazy man in almost 6 months. It was pure hell dealing with him.

  • @leslieanntheodore5015
    @leslieanntheodore5015 2 месяца назад +33

    I was discarded for the last time, and I never looked back .

    • @marytaylor9504
      @marytaylor9504 Месяц назад +7

      Stay Strong!!! Yes NEVER LOOK BACK!!!

  • @kirkhensley5870
    @kirkhensley5870 2 месяца назад +81

    What she says is true. However long you know your narcissist or personal bully, they do not possess the capacity for change. They never understand the depth of the damage they do to you. Once you've had enough and you move on, it takes them some time to miss you.
    THEY MISS putting you down so they can stand taller [on your head], they run out of people to victimize, they don't get as many calls or answers anymore; therefore, they seek you out. Old faithful who falls into the rabbit hole they dig.
    Once you _truly_ move on, you start hearing questions. "Why don't you?"
    "How come you don't answer my calls?"
    "Don't you remember all that I did for you?"
    The list goes on. Don't feel guilty if you owe them nothing, and they need to take personal stock and owe you apologies.
    LIVE YOUR LIFE.

    • @viviancheek8044
      @viviancheek8044 2 месяца назад +1

      ❤❤❤❤❤ living.

    • @mikecarr1378
      @mikecarr1378 2 месяца назад +2

      I'm gone,.Its a done deal !!

    • @empress9857
      @empress9857 Месяц назад +1

      💯🎯

    • @detjaggillar8081
      @detjaggillar8081 3 дня назад

      @@kirkhensley5870 I agree 99% ✔ You wrote but NOT that Yo wrote: The narc doesn't know what they are doing. The DO KNOW perfectly well what they are doing cause that's the diagnose and personality disorder of a NPD.

  • @noahsmommytn23
    @noahsmommytn23 3 месяца назад +67

    Disgusting and Demonic.

  • @MidnhtCrzr
    @MidnhtCrzr 2 месяца назад +81

    When a narcissists goes into a narcissistic rage, sometimes their eyes literally turn black. It's called Devil's Eyes.

    • @dancingstarfully
      @dancingstarfully 2 месяца назад +6

      On point

    • @yeswing10
      @yeswing10 2 месяца назад +7

      My ex's eyes turned black and he went in the basement and roared like a monster.
      I had enough of the slavery and cancelled Thanksgiving.

    • @owen777hal
      @owen777hal Месяц назад +4

      I’ve see it in her …. Terrifying
      Too many times , in love with a demon. Not anymore

    • @lynnanderson1923
      @lynnanderson1923 Месяц назад +2

      Did anyone else's narcissist foam at the mouth when they were raging you?

    • @MidnhtCrzr
      @MidnhtCrzr Месяц назад +1

      Almost.

  • @OneWhoKnowz
    @OneWhoKnowz 2 месяца назад +31

    She tried that twice and I didn’t respond to her either times she just wants to win…What she doesn’t understand is IDC at all. I’m in control of my own self, my purpose and my destiny❤

  • @VoxLesPaul
    @VoxLesPaul 2 месяца назад +36

    Excellent message. The narc formerly in my life followed the pattern you described, including hoovering, surreptitious smear campaign, and recruiting a flying monkey to smear me in public three times.

    • @NarcissistHex-nf9eq
      @NarcissistHex-nf9eq 2 месяца назад +6

      Yes narcissists are very predictable and once you know -you know ..Once you see the patterns you might not ever unsee them.

    • @empress9857
      @empress9857 Месяц назад

      It’s horrible how can someone claim they love you and give bare crumbs min effort then when you get tired of them and break it off they talk about you like a dog to anyone that will smear you all over sm and then post or hang out with people they claim they would never date or were friends all to get a reaction or even communicate with your friends even those you are no longer friends with just to hurt you they are ruthless then when they get into ex health wise they send flying monkeys to recruit you to feel bad and come support or communicate with them and when you remain nc but for them your cold hearted they have no clue nor freaking care how they sht on people and still expect you to be there for themmmm tffff

  • @lrsco
    @lrsco 2 месяца назад +18

    1991- I was 27. Lived with my mother. Came home from work to find ALL my clothes & posessions in garbage bags on the curb for the garbage truck. Inside my mother & her best friend having cigarettes and laughing at me. I left her for over a year. After that, communication with her was on MY terms!

  • @nicolehayes6020
    @nicolehayes6020 2 месяца назад +37

    Thank you! Walk away with your head held high and stay silent ❤️🤷🏻‍♀️💯😎💪🙏🌹

  • @Resonate-q3s
    @Resonate-q3s 3 месяца назад +19

    Hey Anoushka! Another great video as per usual. I’ve got an older sibling where what you’ve explained fits like a glove. As far as I’m concerned, she can smear me all she wants. She even comes into public spaces where she knows I will be. All this makes no difference to me because as far as I’m concerned, she’s dead. I don’t want nothing to do with her. The peace that I have without her is wonderful and I’m loving it. Keep doing your thing Anoushka! Much love to ya!🥰

  • @sharpsmoke9863
    @sharpsmoke9863 3 месяца назад +46

    She controlled the outcome and the outcome is I ran away..and she really hoovers..unbelievable

    • @ashton1952
      @ashton1952 2 месяца назад +2

      They do that, acting all sweet. Ex called me 8 times in a row, after I left, saying he feels guilty etc. this is after like a month previously when he called me up and screamed at me accusing me of cheating on him and stealing his money. He subsequently found it hidden in a cupboard in a room that I didn't have the key to. The accusation, not knowing my character, after financially contributing to the home, whilst he was not even working, was more off putting than the verbal rage. I had plenty off opportunity to cheat because he would turn his back in the bedroom yet I never did. Put off forever.

    • @sharpsmoke9863
      @sharpsmoke9863 2 месяца назад

      ​@ashton1952 well,another interesting story i guess

    • @AnneKruger-t5g
      @AnneKruger-t5g 27 дней назад

      I have been on an emotional rollercoaster with this Narc, his turned my whole life upside down, yet I let him hoover me because I didn’t know anything else. Thank you Anoushka for educating us about the destructive and abusive Attitude of a Narc. Learned a very painful lesson, letting him f-i-n-a-l-l-y go!

  • @kirkhensley5870
    @kirkhensley5870 2 месяца назад +32

    6:00 "If they do anything more than three times, it is officially on purpose."
    If "they" give me the silent treatment, I will learn to stop missing them.

    • @NarcissistHex-nf9eq
      @NarcissistHex-nf9eq 2 месяца назад +3

      You might not stop missing them but you would be better off moving on past the narcissist, I would say about 80% will just never change. As a self-aware diagnosed narcissist it took me many years just to come to terms with the fact of what I am and begin to work on myself... And it was only through God's Miracles that I did.

    • @almightybeanchild
      @almightybeanchild 2 месяца назад

      You do stop missing them after no contact​@@NarcissistHex-nf9eq

    • @kirkhensley5870
      @kirkhensley5870 Месяц назад +4

      @@NarcissistHex-nf9eq That makes you a rare individual. Once you've learned, you must turn around and teach those who are willing to learn.

    • @NarcissistHex-nf9eq
      @NarcissistHex-nf9eq Месяц назад

      @@kirkhensley5870 Agreed, that's why I started my channel here.

  • @yowdhann7134
    @yowdhann7134 2 месяца назад +21

    I feel like a part of me is narcissist. I'm in my healing journey because I'm tired of being people pleaser, empath, damn I'm tired

    • @sv-yh3mq
      @sv-yh3mq 2 месяца назад

      @yowdhann7134- some have referred to that as ( narcissistic ) "fleas"- and I bet Ask Annoushka can explain this, or already has content about this, that can help.

    • @yourmomsasquatch
      @yourmomsasquatch Месяц назад

      I read being an emath and people pleasing stems from past tramas. I'm working on coming to terms with that so I can change

  • @amberbennett3879
    @amberbennett3879 2 месяца назад +25

    Their needs & being their emotional slave are key points! 🔑

  • @HolisticHealing77
    @HolisticHealing77 2 месяца назад +10

    When you disappear you gain self respect and peace. I mirror back their behavior before i peace out for good if i have the unfortunate event where i MUST cross paths. 🤪

  • @maxinedavieds6104
    @maxinedavieds6104 2 месяца назад +23

    Control is their middle name.They are so predictable! Knowledge is power.

  • @InHonourOfChester
    @InHonourOfChester 3 месяца назад +14

    On point! Especially the part of "getting their needs met" tks Anoushka for doing this video!

  • @laberbla6466
    @laberbla6466 2 месяца назад +10

    Just out of dating a narc woman. When I told her I don't want to continue this because it is harmful for me she went full rage mode, yelled at me for being an a**hole and beat me.
    I told her there will be no talking before she apologizes for that. Seems to be impossible to her.
    Now she went cold on me. A week later (today) she wrote how I could have thrown all that away and that she is in love with me...
    Still no word of sorry. I'm done.

    • @ms.k7487
      @ms.k7487 2 месяца назад +2

      Never call or text her again. These people only create drama and chaos.

    • @suranjabarat5457
      @suranjabarat5457 Месяц назад +2

      Block her everywhere. Heal from all the attachments...!!

  • @mandyash6186
    @mandyash6186 3 месяца назад +28

    Thank you Anoushka, l find your videos really, really useful, thank you so much.

  • @wazagunab
    @wazagunab 2 месяца назад +3

    I dated a narcissist for 4 months. I told him it wasn't working for me in person & texts repeatedly. He used another phone to text me, now he's coming over to my place. I saw him at the store & he grab- hugged me. I will stay strong.

  • @sujaysahu4829
    @sujaysahu4829 5 дней назад +1

    Good advise. Dont make the mistake of going back.

  • @macmovieman1
    @macmovieman1 3 месяца назад +22

    I have not seen my mom the narcissist in over four years and I got a knock on the door from the police department is issuing a domestic violence case, a week later, I was served with an elderly abuse case. The level of deception and lies she’s willing to tell is mind-boggling. She claimed that she feared for her life and the judge gave her a guardian. This honestly could be a made for TV movie. I’m 100% sure this is narcissism. Just not sure if I’m dealing with a covert or malignant one.

    • @fabiopapalia
      @fabiopapalia 3 месяца назад +8

      'Covert' or 'malignant' are just phases of the narcissistic personality disorder decourse. Every NPD person can go 'covert' or 'malignant' for years or months. My 74 yo mother had been in to the 'cvert' mask for the most of her life, but she had been 'overt' inside the home for two decades, from the 50s to now.
      NPD is a 'dense' psychotic disease. Take care of your self.

    • @macmovieman1
      @macmovieman1 3 месяца назад +2

      @@fabiopapalia wow, I had no idea that you could move around, and I always thought of the phase as a identity. I’m at a point now, where I need to decide if I show the police that the police report was under false pretenses thus giving my mom a felony. I just need her to stop. It’s costing me tons of thousands of dollars and my sanity for both my wife and I.

    • @deb2319
      @deb2319 3 месяца назад +3

      Woah thats crazy. Sorry to hear that. How brutal of her. She could had sent a flying monkey but Filed such on u? WTH. I am sorry ..that sucks. I hope it all got worked out.

    • @macmovieman1
      @macmovieman1 3 месяца назад +4

      @@deb2319​​⁠ thank you for saying that all of her lies will be revealed. She’s never publicly had her mask come off and it’s going to be scary to watch. This was a new playbook for her and she should’ve thought twice before she went into a public setting under oath. I will protect my family.

    • @marcusturner6361
      @marcusturner6361 3 месяца назад +7

      😮 tell them to prove it 👿

  • @LowellHancock
    @LowellHancock 2 месяца назад +10

    When you leave them they have to deal with the reality of who they are they think you are playing games but you are finished you can't get through or reason with them so that's the only alternative

  • @siciliangypsy4758
    @siciliangypsy4758 2 месяца назад +6

    What clear to the point, incredibly accurate video regarding narcissist and what they do to people. Wow! I’ve watched many videos…but I have never felts such relief… relief in understanding. Thank you so much.

  • @vivianMarvin-z6k
    @vivianMarvin-z6k 2 месяца назад +140

    Very cool video A month ago, I ended a five-year relationship. My soulmate made the decision to walk away from me, and even though I've done everything in my power to get him back, I can't help but feel disappointed because I can't see my life with anyone else. I want to say that I've tried everything to stop thinking about him, but I simply can't. I miss him so much and I don't know why I'm saying this here.

    • @Yukajoseph
      @Yukajoseph 2 месяца назад +1

      I learnt the hard way that saying goodbye to someone you love is difficult when a 12-year relationship ends. But I was unable to let him go, so I made every effort to get him back. I eventually sought aid from a spiritual counsellor, and he was able to assist me in getting him back.

    • @vivianMarvin-z6k
      @vivianMarvin-z6k 2 месяца назад

      Interesting-sounding! How can I most efficiently get in contact with a spiritual counsellor that you recommended?

    • @Yukajoseph
      @Yukajoseph 2 месяца назад

      His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

    • @Yukajoseph
      @Yukajoseph 2 месяца назад

      he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.

    • @vivianMarvin-z6k
      @vivianMarvin-z6k 2 месяца назад

      I appreciate you providing this important information; I've just checked him up online. striking I just checked Father Obah Eze online, and wow, he's really genuine. Thank you so much again ❤

  • @MyAngelAlfie
    @MyAngelAlfie 3 месяца назад +52

    Ummm is that why after nearly 3 months the txt "hope your ok."...then tried to take it back after i didnt reply quick enough?! Lol the cheek of it..🤪

    • @dougretter
      @dougretter 2 месяца назад +6

      Amazing how predictable they are.

    • @johnnycorn7225
      @johnnycorn7225 2 месяца назад +3

      Yup mine does this most attempts. It's really sick once you've figured it out, then it's not hard to exit grey rock and not participate.

    • @sv-yh3mq
      @sv-yh3mq 2 месяца назад +8

      The only thing to do is to not reply to their attempts to "check-in" with you.

    • @MyAngelAlfie
      @MyAngelAlfie 2 месяца назад

      @@sv-yh3mq it's Ok I flipped reversed it he's gone running scared, trust me he won't be contacting me again, he's got stuff to lose

  • @nessauk2786
    @nessauk2786 3 месяца назад +36

    They are highly competitive.I tried to explain to him how uncomfortable I felt being stared at by a gay man whilst sunbathing he said " dont you think I have gay men coming on to me"? You cannot get understanding from them its ridiculous.Holidays are a nightmare with them in or out of a relationship.

    • @Prometheuspredator
      @Prometheuspredator 2 месяца назад +4

      Do you think this was the perfect opportunity for him to tell you something about himself? To tattle on himself as this is common narcissists.

    • @nessauk2786
      @nessauk2786 2 месяца назад +2

      @@Prometheuspredator Yes, adding to that he had spent some time in prison and I think this is when he had encountered those advances.On the whole it was the envy and competitiveness that made him leak that truth.He sadistically enjoyed leaking truths on me if he thought it would hurt my feelings also.

    • @angypapa2191
      @angypapa2191 2 месяца назад +4

      I cancelled so many holidays and paid fines as he would cause problems so that I leave him just as the holiday was coming up. And when we managed to go he would behave so badly I would wish we didn't go. Very toxic dangerous horrific people. 😢😢

  • @Grands-1234
    @Grands-1234 2 месяца назад +11

    I have checked out emotionally.. totally checked out.. married 38 years to him.. my part is that i believed in him.. my mom set the bar very low for me.. so i tolerated.. finally woke up.. he cant stand that I do not care.. too bad so sad... its a business relationship for me thats it..I feel nothing for him and he sees it and knows it..get myself a part time job a new puppy moving on with my life..

  • @ritashaba
    @ritashaba Месяц назад +1

    Girl you save me from so much heartache. I didn’t know what triangulation meant and I was so in denial he was a narcissist but everything you talk about points to him being one. Thank you for empowering us who were really stuck in this cycle ❤

  • @EasyRussianLessons
    @EasyRussianLessons 3 месяца назад +35

    I did on a bunch of them. It was toxic. Yes, church can be toxic.

    • @Rowganlife
      @Rowganlife 2 месяца назад +4

      church settings are PRIMED for these types of people.

    •  2 месяца назад +3

      Narcs and hypocrites was my experience.

    • @blinkyy1088
      @blinkyy1088 2 месяца назад +5

      @@Rowganlife They thrive on any community-based power system, it doesn't have to be religious. Reddit mods, discord moderators, store managers, doctors, police officers, nurses, priests. Any position of power.

    • @Rowganlife
      @Rowganlife 2 месяца назад +2

      @@blinkyy1088 agreed, but with religion, people believe their "souls" are in the balance or usually something to that effect. which heightens the stakes, so to speak.

    • @PaulHans-th1ue
      @PaulHans-th1ue 2 месяца назад +2

      Lot of them in AA usually in positions of power.

  • @brittislove
    @brittislove 2 месяца назад +3

    I have an ex who is a narcissist. I would work 3 jobs, go to school, play in a band, and any free time I had was spent with her, which was usually twice a week. Before every date she would start a fight with me, every time. It got to the point where I would say it seems like she's upset and should stay home, date is canceled
    When I started doing that, she would still show up to my place and a few times I turned her away. I didn't know about narcissists back then, but intentionally starting fights and crying about how she never saw me, and the demands she made raised an eyebrow. If things didn't go perfect I would witness entire meltdowns

  • @peterknyk1942
    @peterknyk1942 2 месяца назад +13

    I don’t want to be cynical or sound too critical, but narcissists, for the most part, are incapable of thinking logically so, therefore, it doesn’t matter what they are thinking. My experience shows me that they become, without any properties of logical mentation, more abusive because that’s all they seem to be capable of.

    • @NarcissistHex-nf9eq
      @NarcissistHex-nf9eq 2 месяца назад +1

      As a self-aware diagnosed narcissist {I should probably cover this on my channel} but you are 110% correct! You are not cynical -you are factual because to be honest with you so many times logic would have made my life better... But anger overruled logic, anger and rage seem to be the only thing that was logical at the time when I was deeply entrenched in my disorder two and a half years ago.

    • @kkw-pal1178
      @kkw-pal1178 2 месяца назад +1

      Yup.

  • @steveanhiron6764
    @steveanhiron6764 3 месяца назад +4

    Am given to understand by her own words . “I do not know who to love you “ , that I’m being played .

  • @theosilva7188
    @theosilva7188 3 месяца назад +9

    Hi Anoushka.
    Thanks for all the work you do.
    My relationship with a friend I thought he was a friend 😢 entre in the role of a fly monkeys.
    . In discrediting me when I cut the communication, he came back for my birthday with a message 😂
    I block him for life.
    Accepting there's corrosive people and nasty people around us.
    Honestly, I hope people understand what you mean. They are dangerous .
    ❤❤

  • @guds6897
    @guds6897 22 дня назад

    Thanks girl. This video really helped❤ Power to all narcissistic abuse survivors ❤

  • @Foxie635
    @Foxie635 2 месяца назад +6

    When anyone disappears, we all forget and move on. 😂

  • @KathyAiken-w9f
    @KathyAiken-w9f Месяц назад +4

    I’m blamed as I left, I still don’t have all my belongings and it’s now a legal battle and he’s convinced our kid I’m the POS, and I went no contact, I had to leave without telling him and only a select few, when he found out as he was at work he came home and cornered me, threatened my friends with trespass, wouldn’t let me take anything else (was packing my clothes when he came home) my gf had to call the police and he even ordered the police around, my life has been very hard and it’s not fair cause I’m the one who left, and I’ve had other women ostracize me because I left, been 1.5 years and I’m finally better but not 100%

  • @Shesapastor
    @Shesapastor 2 месяца назад +3

    I did it tonight! And he just goes in like nothing and says “it’s okay. It’s cool. I just want us to be good people…we don’t have to not speak to each other anymore…” ummm yes we do! NO CONTACT! 8 years too long!

  • @watchthisusa
    @watchthisusa 2 месяца назад +5

    During a recent breakup, I needed to why, what happened? I got immediate support on Social media and RUclips. I was introduced to NPD, I had a reason why, a rabbit hole to go down, I filled in the blanks, I believed the EX had NPD. I now, do not care if she does or doesn’t. It's no longer my business what she thinks, feels does or says. I am not qualified to diagnose anyone, nor are half the people on social media. In fact for me to say she’s narcissist makes me the victim and smears her name, two actions of a narcissist. Only 0.50% of the "general population" has NPD. Because someone displays a couple of NPD symptoms, does not make them a narcissist. A person can be manipulative, gaslight, and act with malevolence and not be a narcissist. I’m gonna proceed in life regardless of any diagnoses. If you’re reading this, I hope you get to a place where it doesn’t matter.

    • @Thatgirlygirl75
      @Thatgirlygirl75 Месяц назад +1

      Right! If they are nothing more than a physical, emotional, mental abuser, that's more than enough reason to leave!

  • @Someredheadguy
    @Someredheadguy Месяц назад +1

    a hoovering attempt can also be something random. ANYTHING to get a response. Sending a reel, an old conversation screenshot, asking for a picture of your baby, sending you baby clothes, asking if you want something of yours they have in storage- they don't care about the question they just want to know that they can get a response from you.

  • @mirrojas
    @mirrojas Месяц назад +1

    My mother is currently doing this. Today using old Facebook posts she was tagged in to send comments “wish it were like this again” for everyone to sympathize with but when she sends me text messages she says “you’ll be alone forever & selfish, selfish, selfish” while also using my daughter against me. Blocked her for the first time ever & going to celebrate with my daughter’s bday without issues.

  • @firstcomment749
    @firstcomment749 Месяц назад +1

    If u break contact it sometimes suits them fine - depending on how guilty they are of abuse + to what extent it is already out in the open. It makes it easier to maintain no contact.

  • @beththomas2222
    @beththomas2222 Месяц назад +4

    We went no contact with my husband's family 1st wk of sept. 2024. Of course now that its the holidays theres texts for gatherings and gifts. Literally said. No. Then guess what, they show up for holiday concert last night.🙄 As the MIL approached I said, Not necessary, you can go.
    Of course crocodile tears, in public, before she even got to where we were. Just ridiculous. Theyve crossed boundaries with our children for 13 yrs. WE. ARE. DONE.

  • @SassyG17
    @SassyG17 3 месяца назад +12

    25 years of his nonsense. I divorced him.. blocked and deleted his number! So much time has been wasted. I learned about narcissism in the last so many months of my divorce. He is a covert narcissist. Also learned along the way He is a porn addict of 42 years.
    Just troubled. Plus I was his first girlfriend go figure!!

  • @karansinghrocky30
    @karansinghrocky30 3 месяца назад +10

    Anushka: The angel sent from up above

  • @andrewhitney4194
    @andrewhitney4194 Месяц назад

    Thank you for this clear direction talk. These thoughts have been in my head for a while and everyone I have spoken to about my situation tells me that he needs to go and I don’t need to keep worrying with this person .. actually “enabling” him to continue to use me and get away with it.
    I always felt cruel to demand that he go b/c he always has a reason that it’s not a good time (financially) for him to move out.
    Several months he stalled on moving saying he needed a little extra cash to secure the deposit so I helped him.. ugh !…..I was just so happy that he actually found a place and was making progress..
    after several months of one problem or another, needing more cash.. I find out there is no apartment..all a lie… so typical.. fooled me again!! That’s just rotten! I’m tired, so tired of this.
    He’s still whining he can’t afford to move now (stalling again) and I’m the bad person to make him be homeless..this fact is hard to get over for me..but I love this talk. I’m trying to get there…

  • @vikingmike8139
    @vikingmike8139 Месяц назад +1

    [They] will never change. Ever! Great tutorial, Cheers! 💯💯👍👍🌞🌞💗💗

  • @Captain_Commenter
    @Captain_Commenter Месяц назад +1

    Yes, I've had to go no contact with a suspected narcissist for the sake of my own mental health, and they're telling my relatives that I'm a poopy head.

  • @Joe-hf3cn
    @Joe-hf3cn 3 месяца назад +4

    It’s not a fact “ they’ll try to reel you in for sure.” Especially for a narcissist who will be too proud & defiant to do that. And if they do have other supply, they probably won’t at all

    • @cincyfanjunglecity9871
      @cincyfanjunglecity9871 2 месяца назад +3

      Exactly how my narc ex is and when I went no contact, I haven’t heard from her since.

  • @Corinakaloha
    @Corinakaloha 2 месяца назад +2

    Thnx 3 years of bs mind games power and control was a waste of life with a narc! He told me to leave and don’t come back so I did that- no contact block and living my life how I did before I met him! Yesss such a healing process but beautiful with out unnecessary abusive drama!❤

  • @anitasue3208
    @anitasue3208 2 месяца назад +3

    They are like leaches you can’t get rid of! U tell them the score and they continue to ignore your boundaries and keep breaking them down till u give into their narrative!

    • @LuisA-fc3ox
      @LuisA-fc3ox Месяц назад

      She disrespected me once in month, I set boundaries she did it again a week later and done. 4 months over. I discarded and exposed her and blocked no contact. No games here

  • @smileallday1188
    @smileallday1188 Месяц назад +2

    Thank you so much for posting this information

  • @Swisscigargrrl
    @Swisscigargrrl 2 месяца назад +4

    My man wouldn’t send me my last remaining things since he wouldn’t allow me back in the house when I left him. I had to ask my father to step in. I knew my dad asking him about my tabs and my brain tumor meds would crack him. My dad texted him this and my husband unblocked me and paid my tabs and next day aired them after this what my dad texted him;
    “Please send me Victoria’s tabs so I can pay them and send them to her. Thanks.”
    (Done!!!!)

  • @jackiewalters8628
    @jackiewalters8628 2 месяца назад +17

    I was done with 🎉 the nonsense . Got the hell on.

  • @skillian3826
    @skillian3826 Месяц назад +6

    I was almost killed by my ex husband last year. He's facing 75 years to life.

  • @WriterK
    @WriterK 2 месяца назад +1

    thrive on control and manipulation - that's totally my father. He feels he's nothing or his kids are terribly bad bad bad, if he can't control or manipulate or dominate our lives. He feels we belittle him by growing up, studying, working, and spending our money on our own families, house rent, electricity bills, etc. He feels diminished if he sits in the back of my car and not right next to me in the passenger seat (while I feel suffocated by his mere body and breath and voice right next to me on my passenger seat, it kills me inside, rapid heart beat, anxiety, vomit like feeling ...).

  • @ms.k7487
    @ms.k7487 2 месяца назад +5

    I am sure he was waiting on my street to see me go into my apartment. I've changed my number a few times now. He was in a different vehicle with the headlights on. I can't prove anything, but i can see a narc doing this to instill fear. He is trying to creep me out I guess, so I reach out. That's not happening. I've said everything I need to say. There's no point in discussing anything.

  • @annaleoni8316
    @annaleoni8316 3 месяца назад +5

    Thank you
    Anouska for a great video ❤

  • @lauralela4554
    @lauralela4554 2 месяца назад +4

    I feel bad for going no contact but I had enough I walked away and said nothing he’s still trying 8 weeks in the emotional abuse got to much I have broke contact so much in the past this is the longest I’ve gone there was no choice in this

  • @Vixinaful
    @Vixinaful 2 месяца назад +1

    I left after 3 years. He went into narcissistic collapse and have stalked ever since. Ringing my door every three months or so, last time he left a letter full of the victim mentality, manipulation and lies, trying to suck me back in. I ignored it and he stays crying on his couch because luckily no other women wants him either. WIN! ☀

  • @guitar6musiclessons
    @guitar6musiclessons Месяц назад

    Great video, you nailed it. This is exactly what happened to me. I cut her off and she smeared me on social media

  • @Secretrealmtube
    @Secretrealmtube 2 месяца назад +2

    My own Mother has destroyed my Childhood, most of my Adult Life including time spent in The British Army…….single, living alone, never Married, no Children, I try not to blame or hate myself or wake up feeling suicidal……

  • @timothygrisack486
    @timothygrisack486 2 месяца назад +2

    I left her due to infidelity! Here response was I am just as happy with or without you! She said I cheated because you did not seem interested anymore! Her mother has days to live against her fight with cancer!! She laid a guilt trip for that very reason!! What scares me she told me her mother gave her some great ideas on how to poison someone!! She has to care for her father now who abused her when she was a young girl!! Scary situation!!

  • @Billtwiggmeister
    @Billtwiggmeister Месяц назад +1

    Married to one, been divorced from her for 15 years, she’s single. I’m not, if I move to a different county/city, you can guarantee she will find out where I am and move in the same vicinity. They can never let you go.

  • @AlaskianTourist
    @AlaskianTourist 12 дней назад

    The first instance of verbal or emotional abuse or neglect, I point it out immediately and require accountability and change. If he/she does it again then I say goodbye. 👋

  • @KimADykstra
    @KimADykstra 2 месяца назад +11

    I FEEL BETTER NOW THAT I LEFT NO MORE BULLSHIT TO DEAL WITH I'M SO HAPPY NEVER AGAIN. 😂

  • @tonistephenson9977
    @tonistephenson9977 Месяц назад +4

    When you dissappear on a narc, there hoping you forget about them so they can shapeshift into something else and you can expect a hoover. Trust the process 😂 In the mean time they are sifting through the harem closet and getting there fuel from another mug who isn't awoken to there bs, Stay gone people u the 1 that got away. 🧡 take your anointing and use it to discern other manipulators. Gods chosen ones are gifted with intuition and wisdom. Peace

  • @catlady6938
    @catlady6938 2 месяца назад +2

    I had the narc rage from a friend after she gaslighted me, she told me that was it and unfriended me on social media. I then took the opportunity and I blocked her on everything and deleted her number, no hoovers for me, when I’m done with one of these fiends and there are many, I’m done.

  • @Dean-zn8du
    @Dean-zn8du 2 месяца назад +3

    I have not heard anything for 9 months been lovely.
    They just leap to the next guy.
    But lets be real not repairing yourself after a long relationship will not work with the new supply.
    But i wish them well im on my own purpose.
    Im healing well and getting to my best version

  • @jennyhaslayer1396
    @jennyhaslayer1396 Месяц назад +1

    Thank you. Never would have guessed he was one. There were only extremely subtle signs that everyone knows about, the rest were all of these signs that are not well known about that i recognize now.

  • @merin797
    @merin797 18 дней назад

    I finally got to the point where the sexually sadistic stuff written to me via sms, just became rediculous and SAD!!! Yuck! Strange thing is when you realize there is no other course of action, than to leave and stay out!!! Thanks A.!!!

  • @Folieadeux-x9o
    @Folieadeux-x9o 2 месяца назад +3

    Why do narc's tell you everything they dislike about you???..then still want you to stay..??absndonment rejection I hear this alot...and wow "you can't find anyone like me" 😮I hear that too..

    • @sv-yh3mq
      @sv-yh3mq 2 месяца назад +1

      Because they think, feel, and falsely believe they are better than you, and in position above you, they behave entitled to criticise you, as if it's their f-n' job to criticise you. It's whack, and it is wrong. And they're heaping hot coals on their own head- which, makes it stupid, too.

    • @SirenaSpades
      @SirenaSpades 2 месяца назад

      They always do this! If you listen to Prof. Sam Vaknin's videos, it's because they have this introject picture of you in their mind and you don't match it in reality. They spout off in a rage and these things they dislike, aren't true (so who cares?). Just live your own truth.

  • @privateprivate8366
    @privateprivate8366 Месяц назад

    Seen this with neighbors. Couldn’t help but to question why they thought I cared. Because a relationship with them would obviously be worse than the smear.

  • @KieronymousBoof
    @KieronymousBoof 2 месяца назад +5

    My father will have been smearing me for two years now. Fine. Anyone who believes him isn’t worth my time either. The people who ARE worth my time will suspect, and eventually, perhaps, see.

  • @nicoledooley9380
    @nicoledooley9380 2 месяца назад +2

    Preach!! Going through this now.

  • @guyfromfl
    @guyfromfl 3 месяца назад +2

    Thank you for this. Your videos are always great. My ex (2 months ago) pulled a reverse discard and has been hanging out with her ex she left for me, 4 years ago. Over the weekend she entered my phone number to get a text receipt for a $28 piece of jewelry. I've been going crazy trying to understand why...this helps to make "sense" of it

  • @timd-s1p
    @timd-s1p 23 дня назад +1

    Good stuff. The thing is, I've learned I'm a pretty strong cat and don't give a flying F what this person, a relative, thinks--either about me or anything else. I just walked away from a 60 year relationship...Oh, well--life goes on.

  • @ClayMalcolmson
    @ClayMalcolmson Месяц назад

    This was beyond helpful, thank you so much for making this video

  • @fran-m1k
    @fran-m1k 2 месяца назад +1

    Perfectly said thank you ma’am

  • @karenbradt513
    @karenbradt513 Месяц назад

    I moved out of state, 2 days after he relocated himself to a town all my family lives in, and near wgere I was. This after 3 years of stalking and following me as I moved around the state to stay away from him.
    I shall admit I found it hilarious and I am still enjoying the desperate behaviors from afar