It is extremely difficult to let them go when you felt they were so special, adored them and believed you had a connection. I won’t settle for being poorly treated again! I learned my lessons, yes I did. 😟
This is all part of the manipulation. If they weren't like this, it would be easy to let them go, but then of course if they weren't like this, you would probably not want to let them go in the first place! It tears you apart but once you've done it, you can start to heal, and the anguish of going No Contact has to be preferable to the chronic cancer of remaining.
@@ShoshiPlatypus💯 % correct. It's a horrible death by a thousand cuts over many years. The more you loved them, the more ending it will hurt. The fake person, the one they pretended to be has died and they will never come back. It's a death...hurts like hell.
It is so hard to be done with the narcissist but once you are it is like escaping prison. You will feel so good and your spirit will be lifted out of the ashes. It is the best thing I've ever done.
@@lindarankins5936 Keep researching and set boundaries. You need to care for yourself first. Get him out, force him to deal with himself - he's an adult after all! Don't fall for the guilt and emotional manipulations he'll exercise in order to try and have things the way they were. You don't need to escape him, you need to push him out.
This is so accurate. I mean I'm straight-up Michael Scofield from Prison Break. And it's just sinking it. Still living with this shell, this ghost who has ghosted me, but holy heck do I ever see _everything_ now.
Yes, these persons are ONLY greedy for the special treatment that is ONLY meant for someone who deserves to be your life partner. So I consider such persons as thieves who don't deserve anything and try to steal what belongs to others.
The most difficult part is to find it out with all the ongoing gaslighting and reframing manipulations. And she/he still keeps lying behind your back. How can you survive that? Any experience, technique that you can apply? If that’s a lesson, it was the most expensive one in my life.
You got that right… the narc that was in my life is hollow nothing there. I made my self sick trying to figure him out… now I know and I’m not nautious anymore. Good luck to you.
There are diff types of Narcissistic though they all follow the same pattern. Some will never chase you and if they do, they just want to hurt you. They are so sick. Some will not chase you. They move quickly to the next victim so avoid the the emptiness. They are all emotional vampires.
And, it doesn't take long either! Sometimes, like me, it happens BEFORE you even get out. I'm pretty damned certain that she was out screwing around so I had NO problem leaving permanently and I have NO INTENTIONS of "forgiving and forgetting" cuz the damage has already been done. No guilt. No pain..but, lots and lots of anger from feeling used..
I did it and came back ! But i knew that she is going to punish me so i was the one that make her miserable at the end ❤ nice revenge+i discarded her just because and gave her no contact ! Feel amazing to take control back
I just entered into the understanding of the finality of things..disgusted. Truly disgusted. The trauma bond diminished dramatically in only a split second. The sudden realization that this is embarrassingly stupid. My personal value increased ten fold. The only thing that lingers is the idea ( my vision) of what could have been..reality sets in . Had no idea I could be hurt as deeply as I was . The healing is in knowing that value which we bring to the table . Perhaps someone deserving will come along.
I can totally relate Dan. Its like your soul has been ripped out and stomped on. But you finally realise you are better than that person you put on a pedestool. You realise that all those amazing memories were created by you.
@@mechweld you, my friend are absolutely right ..I'm in my head more nowadays and to be honest, it ain't so bad in Dannos world..the next person to enter my world will bring value and together we bring out the best in each other..u til then, Dannos world is closed...lol...thx for commenting
Brilliant Dan!!! Yes, "... the healing is knowing the value we bring to the table". The 'addiction-ship' was NEVER about you (us), hence you (we) now have to make it not about the Narcissist. Healthy compensation is due. Forgive yourself and the Narcissist Dan. Just re-individuate yourself from the Narcissist. You were NEVER wrong to invest in something you believed could be great. Regards Rodney
So happy now in my life!!!! He doesn't hoover me because he knows it won't work!!! Walking away from that bad marriage has given me so much courage I feel so much stronger!!! My energy levels are rising slowly. Saving my own soul was the best thing I could have ever done!!!
she made me feel like my gift from mother nature. the connection i have with my intuition. and the free spirit and personality, it all was a curse. because id rather not be stressed and act out stressed. or worry about what other people are doing with their lives. i only cared and still do, she hated everytime i was happy. and she would kick me out if i was silent for more then 30 sec. only time i was allowed to not entertain her, was when i was sleeping or alone. im exhausted.
No kidding. I am an empath and being such, am very vulnerable to being misled by emotional gymnastics. Fortunately, being a Scorpio I had the ability to fight thru my emotions and drop the hammer on her. And I do mean the HAMMER.
Not exactly. In their mind they do no wrong, so there is nothing to forgive. What going back to them does do is basically REAFFIRMS in their mind that what they have done to you is ok. Because if it wasn’t ok, why would you come back? This is how they think unfortunately. There is nothing to forgive, believe me. Whatever they have done to you is your fault.
Took snooping through her phone, honestly. Figure out the truth. It's gross. With great wisdom comes great sorrow. It's so confusing when someone says they loves you, cheats on you, ignored your needs. Once you see you can't unsee
Yes I’m gutted right now found on her cell phone her texting to guys we agreed both of us to tell each other if we talk to the opposite sex , she was texting these guys up to midnight and she would always tell mr she goes to bed at 830 , I confronted her about the texts 2 times and she said it was her brother and her gf , I called those numbers it was 2 guys she was talking to , I tell her the final time are you going to Finally tell me the truth she still lied to my face , then I told her I called those numbers , her reply next was I Am done , this is over I said of course this is over your a liar , and the week before i was taking her out for dinners and buying her things she wanted …what a nut job, she has bpd
I agree. As I commented to someone else, the anguish of going No Contact has to be preferable to the chronic cancer of staying. Once the boil is lanced, you have a chance to heal and move on.
I told him exactly what he is and thought about him when I walked out on him 8 months ago, he knew I was done. However amazingly he recently told a friend I won’t talk to him anymore, and when I recently run into him he wanted to talk to me but I ignored him and walked away. The man is too stupid for words or naively he thinks I am, he never did get to know me, too busy talking about himself 🤦♀️
I have lived with a narsist for 44 years but he is physically disabled. I blamed his behaviour to his disability. By the time I realised he is a narcistic, I cud not believe it. By then I had just given up and living in motion. The reality that sunk in me that am not only his caretaker and that he has the audacity to treat me this bad, I was automatically done, done with him and done with his disability. I truely don't care for one and two I had stopped loving him long time anyway.
You need to stand strong and keep rejecting their pull back You need to keep moving forward You need to focus on your life You learned the lessons You have graduated You don't need to repay to repeat the course You've been there done that
You don't know how many times moving created a situation where a college dean required that I take another course all over again that's what it feels like I never graduated then I hope I finally do now
Be done with the narcissist. Work on you. Work on your childhood wounds and own personal trauma. The love we give to others as compassionate people and empaths GIVE TO YOURSELF! I know it’s hard as a Empath but empower yourself. It’s a mirror of the “takers” narcissistic and the “givers” us. We are polar opposites. Date someone is empathetic like ourselves. Do not settle. Do you not try to fix change or save anyone. Fix change and save yourself. ❤
I went no contact 16 months ago! Best decisión of my life and I have never once had a thought to unblock or allow contact. He came to my work to try to intimidate me and he tired to speak to my neighbors to get information and get a message to me but I stayed strong and did not allow him to break my resolve. Something just çlicked one day and I knew it was him or me and I chose me! It was difficult at first but I educated myself and got some therapy and my life continúes to get better every day.
It's amazing, isn't it, how long you can keep deluding yourself that everything is really OK, and then suddenly, in an instant, the scales fall from your eyes and you see the truth about them at last. Then everything falls into place and makes sense, and you know the only thing you can do to reclaim yourself and live the rest of your life as the person you were meant to be, is to break the tie once and for all. This is not selfishness - it's survival! I have just decided on No Contact with a longstanding friend, and can already see that this is a very significant event in my life.
Those demons never change. A waste of time energy and emotions. Over and over again the same bullshhhhhhh. Enough is enough! I definitely learned my lesson. 20 something years of mental emotional abuse. I will neverrrrrrrrrr everrrrrrrr go back! Liars, cheaters, manipulators!
You finally realise you are better than that person you put on a pedestool. You realise that all those amazing memories were created by you. I look back with 25 years of good memories. It was me in Paris having a coffee (Narc was not present) It was me having a great time with my family and hers (Narc was not present) wonderful memories of me the kids and her on holidays (Narc was not present) Love was amazing but (Narc was not present) it was me finally loving myself through the mirror she presented. Its like weekend at Bernie's Keep making great memories just make sure the narc is not present......
Yep I do things ony own it's nice not having narc around when narc is around she nags and starts fights narc always wants to be in charge 26yrs of it as she got older she got worse especially since now she has medical problems I'm 50 don't want this life anymore kids are grown time to make my move.
Use your discernment, stand in your power, do not buy the lies, disconnect from the narc, move forward... great video, thank you for the encouragement and direction!
I just left a very toxic year long narcissistic relationship. It was so empty. I used the terms empty dead end energy as well as toxic so many times they just did not understand that at all. I also never knew that Narcistic people existed. My mother was deffeinaly narcissistic 100%. I was groomed , love bombed. used and treated terribly. I could feel something was off. I should have trusted my gut feling and left right away. I was caught in a web of deciet and lies.
Please don't blame yourself, (my mother is narc as well) I lived it for decades. We didn't know. We knew something was wrong but we simply didn't know. Now we are awake, aware and informed and we have to put our shattered mind and spirits back together. 🙏 Sending healing energy
I've just gone No Contact with a longstanding friend. I am amazed that it is only in the last two or three weeks that I have realised she was a narcissist, as my mother was one, and I wou ld have thought I'd have spotted it a mile off!! Their manipulation is so skillful, though, that even the most intelligent and/or experienced of us can be taken in. It's quite a humbling experience and I'm greatful for a lesson well learnt! I shall be well on the look out for signs of it in future, I can tell you!
When you’re actually or REALLY done with that person, there’s ABSOLUTELY NOTHING they can tell you that you wanna hear. I don’t give a damn what it is.
Stay strong it's so hard to cut ties but you won't find someone better while they're around. We need to heal ourselves and to do that we have to stop contact altogether. Good luck.
When I was done, he stalked me, sent me death threats, sent 700 emails over three days, called me 50+ times a day, turned up at places I would be, started a smear campaign and was a nightmare! He is now in prison for his violent behaviour towards me thank god!
It is the hardest lesson to let go of him. But I know he was a lesson in my life, not a blessing. I pray every day that I remain strong 🙏🏻and continue on my healing journey
Took me 3 weeks to figure him out. He was in shock!!! It had taken me 6 years to heal from another narc and I wasn’t about to waste another minute of my time with this one. I could read his every move like a book and during my healing process in past years, you’re one of the people who helped me understand what on earth was going on. Thank you ❤
Are you an empath? Because they love empath. I have had 3 narc. Each one I never saw then coming even though I knew the signs. It happens so quickly but this one lasted 5 months.
I am done too and he knows it he won’t try to come in to my life again. I was drawn back in 4 times and when he tried this time telling me he loves and misses me and no one compares whilst having new supply blocked 🚫 in every single way I can
Important to understand Just because a person speaks to you... you are NOT duty bound to reply I see it a lot. Personal message. Phone call or face to face EVEN a legal document Whatever.... You have NO obligation to reply Silence IS golden
I have been threw 30 years of abuse.. With the help of you and Rebecca Zung. Dr. Ramiani. have been a God send. and my eyes are open.. you all have gods message and points of truth. your knowledge is better then Gold Castles.I will watch all content..for this is therapy..you all offer..you all would be an awesome team to help ...those in these situation.Deep respect. for all the information.and experience..
Narc daily with Andrew “You Are Not Alone.” He is very well spoken and straight forward with Narcissism. He gives insights and information about Narcissistic People and what to expect and to do. I also follow the three individual’s stated and few others
Between moving states and relocating, after 32 years of abusive marriage, I had enough and really worked on that trauma bond while I had the luxury of time apart. Just in time for him to come back during the last 4 months of his life, I did a great job taking care of him, even though he tried to destroy me by telling us about his double life with a piece of trash….I still can’t get over this was the only person I’ve loved my entire adult life and I actually still cry about his death but I’m also relieved that I have peace in my life now
My ex told me about his relationship with my ex best friend their affair lasted four years and then the last six months he broke me and completely cut me off because they were together but he only just told me. I'm broken he has had strokes and will die soon and I was so angry I felt like I would want him to but I'll be shattered when that happens and it will because he is on drugs and won't look after himself. I won't see him again if I can be strong enough but he isolated me to the point that I am all alone now. They're really dangerous people narcissists.
my sons dad died, and though it was sudden and awful, I felt relieved because I could NOT be myself near him, he got angry if I wanted to discuss truther things like the faked moon landings.. in the end I gave up trying to meet like minded f friends because baby daddy would seethe silently and show me with stiff body movements that he was unhappy with my verbal freedom
Perfect, thank you so much. Just left a toxic girl and now we she's trying to come back with no result. I ignore her even if it is difficult...hold on!!
I broke up with the narc in my life. He has diagnosed NPD. Finally I got my closure and I am out! Couldn’t understand his toxic ways , his lies , betrayals before .. I have educated myself and this is the video I was looking for. I am applying “ no contact “ rule now for my sanity. Love , peace of mind and closure we all deserve!
My ex-narc did a whole smear campaign to put fear in me to come back. But it only made me laugh and run for the hills and stay there. I am so much happier now that I am free.
I knew I was finally done, things were a little awkward, he was avoiding and I reached out it said, let’s act like adults and talk… he met that request with a 3+ week silent treatment causing crushing anxiety, I finally said to myself I don’t operate this way, I don’t want to be with anyone who operates this way and this person does not value me or respect me. Once you come to that realization, it makes it a lot easier to end it and stay NO contact. Take your power back, I highly recommend! Feels great!
It will be a year in March March that I was done with the toxicity of the Narcissist and his flying monkey. I am so happy that I went no contact and had not accepted any Hoover attempts. I have a while longer on my healing journey but will continue to go ahead on my healing thanks to programs like yours 💜
Being done is the most freeing and terrifying at the same time.. getting through it was the most painful and exhilarating experience ever.. 12 years out and he’s still dropping subtle painful comments when we are around the grandchildren at the same time.. so nice to go home to my peaceful house alone!!❤❤
Once I leave,never,ever go back,no wayyyyyyy but as you say it's so painful to leave but then it's million times more painful, stressful, dangerous to stay and continuing being abused ,so unfair,so sad.After all I've been through in my whole life ,never imagined this could happen to me,I didn't even know this people existed,I found out about narcissism on tik tok by chance,believe or not ,I'm shocked and kind of frozen
its so hard to leave, its so hard to think about yourself, its so hard not to listen to them, the guilt, the idyllic picture that might be... on and on the torture and mental games go... will you be ok, will they be ok, what have I done, should I of done something else, was it me? - its completely soul destroying, anyone who has been through this like I am, lets all be strong.
I am done with my hole family and my ex and they all know it,bunch of sicko's who constantly steal of you,I'm one of those people who when someone stabs you in the back smears your name I cut them out my life, great video anoushka top lady🌹
Thank you! It took me 7 years to escape. I’ll never go back. Malignant Narcissist of the worst kind!!!! I’ve been out a year now, continue to get stronger each day. Healing is a long journey.
Our ending it was extremely dramatic! Because I ended it. He has asked somebody about me , he asked how I’m doing? And all they said was, I don’t know. He will not come back to pursue, because of exactly everything you just said in this video. Thank you.💪
Excuse me..but uh.., "whattya doin'..for the rest of your life?!" 😁 Are you serious?! I was looking at that profile picture and thought to myself: "Wow! What an idiot that guy was!" You and all the other better women here should be communicating with men like me on here. Reading your comments, I can tell by the way that you speak, that you'd be VERY easy to get along with..a good 'partner' to be with. Some guys don't realize what they have, while others (like me) appreciate having a beautiful woman with a beautiful heart. That's NEVER to be taken for granted and a good woman is a gift. Absolutely beautiful profile picture!
I really wish I could find a support group of older women, 50 or 55+ for those of us that are terrified to leave because of age, financial ties, leaving our home of 20 it 30 years ..... Would be nice to have those that have broke free or about to, to be a cheerleader of sorts, someone to talk to that gets it. I will just keep watching videos and scrolling the messages. Peace and love to all
@@Virgolove I will be 59 in a few days. I feel like im frozen. I have lived in trauma mode for so long i don't know how to just live. Thank you so much for the reply. Made me feel like im not invisible and your words of encouragement lifted me up a little. Thank you.
I left over a year ago. I'm 57 yo and have been married to him 39 years. It's the best decision I've ever made. No more constant games and lies. I'm still healing and learning. I just wish I'd left sooner.
This is so helpful! I love when you said “the narcissist came into your life for the lessons, the narcissist is not meant to be in your life forever!”Thank you! 🙏 I am now free. I love myself too much to ever go back to him or another narcissist!
I've learned they can be on their best behavior for a few weeks. After that you'll see the frustration for having to pretend to be a caring human being. They get terribly exhausted for having to keep the facade up and they will unleash on you. In fact, it's right after a hoover attempt that you can expect some serious rage.
He ghosted me a couple of times, then for about a month I reach out to him and he returns back and put all blame on me and gave me some stupid reasons, gaslighting me and so on... He acted like a victim every single time. I was naive, I thought he was a hurt and shy person because I did not know what a narcissist is. Last time I just realized everything, I unfollowed him from every social media and I deleted his phone number. I am done! Then I saw that he blocked me everywhere. Narcissistic rage. :D
I am 5 months on and Anoushka every video you have posted has completely nailed it you have helped me get to a place where I feel, what the hell was I doing. I have watched some of them dozens of times because I can’t believe how accurate they are…. I know she ain’t done but I AM 😎😎😎
I am in a point where, I choose me and no more letting men snatch me and taking advantage of me. I am done with unhealthy relationships. No more giving my all and they gives me bs. I am going now 4yrs celibate in my life and I am ok being drama, chaos, manipulation and abuse free. I am 46 if I never get a good person in my life, I am ok with it. After all, I have 4 kids, a dog, a cat and I am taking care of myself without a man telling me, if its wasn't without him, I am nothing. That's a lie. I am enough. I am no longer putting up with people's bs, manipulation and abuse. I love me so much. I'll never again be with narcissists. I know who I am and I do not need to talk or be with them. We're not compatible. They're poisonous to me , my kids and our future.
In comments I see "He", "She". Singular sort of situations. What I realized from my last no contact with a friend of 40 years and his narcissistic wife. This disorder is so prevalent in our society. I cut off from my three sisters because they learned so well from our parents. I am 69 years old and I am free!
@@M60gunner1971 I've just dropped a long-standing "friend" too. When they've been around for a long time, however awful they turned out to be (and I only just recently woke up!), they still leave a gap in our lives. When someone has been important to you for so long, it can't be any other way, surely.
After nearly 11 months of being in a talking stage / situationship / placeholder. I tried to communicate how I felt, my feelings…. Just to have them discarded. I compromised against my own standards n boundaries. All he wanted was sex and it’s been made clear. I ended that bs Monday. Beyond grateful. I was able to leave without any arguing , and useless broken record convos that go nowhere. Honestly , I get why people ghost 👻 others sometimes. I mean how many times are you going to have the same conversations? How long are you going to wait for them to chose you?! I am done ✅. I want to live n be free from the confusion n lies.
I totally agree, apart from a miracle from God, with whom all things are possible! Narcissists won't heal because they think they are perfect so why change? What narcissist would ever admit that he/she needed help from anyone? Any change would be a sign of weakness and the very nature of the condition militates against such an admission. They are trapped in their own chains.
She's diabolical. She would never say she changed- she doesn't need to change. She told me the breakdown was 100% my fault and discarded me, cause you know, she never made a mistake in 14 years. She wants to go sleep around. She tried to offer me the consolation prize of being 'texting buddies' if you can friggin' believe that!? You know, cause I was out of compliance and 150% exhausted! We were in engaged for godsakes! Pure evil. With zero remorse. I had to go NC. It's been rough, but what choice did I have, I was supposed to sit on the sidelines while she sniffed around the community for a new romantic partner, she probably cheated on me as well. I'm done.
I hope you do not mind me commenting. I had a similar experience and I want to say to you that you have been so brave and so wish many great things for you, much respect
same...my bf refuses to take any blame for anything. He thinks me trying to express my feelings is me trying to get my way. Doesn't understand my feelings whatsoever, no does he care to. He gets worse by the day. I am completely neglected now, while he calls me toxic for saying a single word about it. I try to ask if he thinks it would be better if we broke up. Genuinely asking, and he takes that as me trying to manipulate him...He acts like he has zero interest in me, especially on an emotional level, so of course I am asking that question...I have the feeling he is porb talking to someone else now too. If I say that, he will deny it, get angry, call me toxic and insecure. He also likes to act like I am the narcissistic one. He is the one that broke the trust, and made himself untrustworthy, with all the lies and sneaky behavior. I am not perfect by any means. I have a panic disorder, depression, and I can be needy, and bossy. I am also very empathetic, and can put myself in other people's shoes. 11 years together. I don't know what to do.
@@tyffaneelavely8087 YOU DO KNOW WHAT TO DO. Plan an exit strategy and doint look back- sure we love these people. But have so many personalites the chance that the person you fell in love with didnt exist. Sad but true.Leave him; for yourself. YOU CANNOT FIX HIM.
@@tyffaneelavely8087 sorry you are going through this,,,tough spot to be inlllmaybe take some time for yourself and self reflect...you do deserve better
I’ve learned so much from these videos thank you for sharing this truth about these people. I am so done with this person (he’s my neighbor across the hall). I refuse to let him in and I am over his BS . Things are so different now for me since I’ve figured out what he’s all about. I talk to him on my time not on his time. He wants to in his words help me and asks me do I need anything and I always tell him NO .
I have read and viewed so many perspectives and advise on narcissism. Now it's time for me to move forward and continue with the healing process. Before I leave I wanted to say that your insights into the narcissist psyche are exceptional. Thank you for helping all of us. You are a Godsend.
I’m watching this one on repeat but I just cannot get to that point. I am heartbroken and he is the most evil cruel person ever who cheated again and is now with her, but I miss him. I don’t want to feel like this but I can’t help it. I’m jealous of his new one and their relationship even tho I should feel sorry for her.
Apparently you haven't yet fully grasped his true self. Seeing him for who he is, would make you realize that you miss the fantasy of him, not him. "He", as you define him, doesn't even exist. You might have an instinct to run away from that conclusion, because it sounds scary, but trust me - it sets you free. I don't miss my ex any more than I miss my imaginary friend from childhood.
My narc ex is gonna keep getting smashed out by low frequency dudes and expect to be treated like God's gift to humanity while avoiding all accountability. So hey...good for her 😆😆😆
Bro same!!! Every time it was some low grade dude she was talking to. I thinks it's because they will be head over heels because she's outta their league. Fn disgusting
This woman has become my hero and i value any advice she gives. Even after gettinģ over my situation I still listen to her and hang on her every last word. I know shes saved many lives,im positive that she saved mine.
I totally agree!! It's when I got into a relationship with a very malignant narcissist that I realized that my parents were narcissists as well, and most of my previous relationships were with narcissists (on different scales of narcissism). I have learnt so much and it changed my life forever!
I ❤❤❤ listening to a soul-sister that has been there, done the hard work, and tells it just as it is!!! Thank you for helping me make sense of it and directing me to stand in my own power 🙌💪
I’ve realized my strength lies within me and so if I decide that I am done, that is all that I need to stand on that truth IN ME. What the narcissist thinks or does is not my problem.
ITS GOOD TO LISTEN TO YOU. THANKS FOR YOUR HELPING ME UNDERSTANDING NARCISSIST WIFE. YOU RADIANT A MYSTERY HOW TO SOLVE THE PUZZLE. I COMPLIMENT YOU! THANK FOR YOUR BEAUTIFUL GLOW. ITS SAD, WIFE DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO LOVE.
My brother, besides other numerous evelieous things he's done, didn't even let me give our deceased mother proper memorial service. Yes, I finally decided "enough is enough". I changed the locks in my apartment where he lived for number of years for free and today he is homeless. I was worried for a while if I did the right thing. How do I know???? I feel sooooo gooooood. All he is doing now is seeking revenge, he reported me to the police but without any luck. Case closed!!! After one year my mother's urn with ashes is still in the apartment and now I can finally and peacefully give her a proper and dignified farewell she deserves.
wow!!! like you were talking directly to me personally!! My situation to a tee. Im finally out! Divorced papers served, full on hoovering!!! Im not going back.........this time!!!!
This information is for me! I truly loved him. The whole thing was so TOXIC!! It was a life learning lesson. I am DONE!! He is telling everyone lies. He ran to his new Supply. This was so predictable of him.
I told mine- remember this- I’ve taken you back for 28 years. I’ve always been there for you. This time it’s on you. All this is your choice forever. The rest of your life it’s all on you.
Thank you so much for this, Anoushka - it is really timely. I have just gone No Contact with a friend after I woke up recently, realising I'd been in denial of her narcissism for years. I'm done with being used. First time I really called her out over something, back in February, a definite toxic and unnatural reaction! It went downhill from there as she really showed her true colours. She's on the other side of the world so it's not so hard for me to go No Contact but her husband who is a friend of ours is living near us and he's the one who's going to get it in the neck from her, now I've done it, so we've got our work cut out to help support him. He has been going Grey Rock for some time without realising it. He's had a very tough time. I have absolutely no intention of going back, or even having any conact at all with her. I know that if you go back, it is far harder to break away the next time - like a toddler having a tantrum in the supermarket because you won't let them have the sweets they want, and then giving in because the scene is embarrassing, after which the kid knows all they have to do next time is just keep going and you'll eventually give in. No must mean no! I do have regrets though - we've been friends a long time and it hasn't all been bad. It will be strange not having her in my life. She falls out with everybody and I thought that would never happen to me, because she always said I was the only one who understood her, but I now know that that was because I wasn't being honest with myself and was constantly putting my own doubts and suspicions, and even my own personality on the back burner in order to keep things smooth and to keep the friendship going. She would violently disagree with me if I told her that now I really do understand her!!
Thank you for the great video! When I started to be able read between his lines it was a game changer. One time I was on the phone with a client of mine, when I hung up he said “I don’t think that’s what she wanted to hear”. He gave himself away in a split second.
He knows I know what he is. He did try once, all he wanted was to borrow money. I’m glad I was smart enough to see the bs Hoover. He knows he’s met his match with me. So he’s hanging with his low hanging fruit. Thank you ❤
It is extremely difficult to let them go when you felt they were so special, adored them and believed you had a connection. I won’t settle for being poorly treated again! I learned my lessons, yes I did. 😟
So have I learned the lessons ! But we have survived it ! It’s done 😚
This is all part of the manipulation. If they weren't like this, it would be easy to let them go, but then of course if they weren't like this, you would probably not want to let them go in the first place! It tears you apart but once you've done it, you can start to heal, and the anguish of going No Contact has to be preferable to the chronic cancer of remaining.
@@ShoshiPlatypus💯 % correct. It's a horrible death by a thousand cuts over many years. The more you loved them, the more ending it will hurt. The fake person, the one they pretended to be has died and they will never come back. It's a death...hurts like hell.
Amen
Correctly said. it is very difficult.
They’re basically soulless creatures with nothing to offer you.
Pure Malevolence
I love being done
👏
U can sayy that again 🎯
@@marissahumblytherealistone8950 ok I love being done xxx sending hope
@@nessauk2786 thanks Doll 😘 And God bless you ABUNDANTLY 💯
Amen 😊
It is so hard to be done with the narcissist but once you are it is like escaping prison. You will feel so good and your spirit will be lifted out of the ashes. It is the best thing I've ever done.
How do you deal with a grandchild that is 24 he lives with me l do not know how to escape please help 😢
@@lindarankins5936 they’re 24? Kick them tf out and tell them they have time period to find their own place or else you’ll call the police for removal
@@lindarankins5936 Keep researching and set boundaries. You need to care for yourself first. Get him out, force him to deal with himself - he's an adult after all! Don't fall for the guilt and emotional manipulations he'll exercise in order to try and have things the way they were. You don't need to escape him, you need to push him out.
@Wayne Elliott thanks for your help l needed your advice 🙏 linda rankins
This is so accurate. I mean I'm straight-up Michael Scofield from Prison Break. And it's just sinking it. Still living with this shell, this ghost who has ghosted me, but holy heck do I ever see _everything_ now.
You have levelled UP
You have OUTgrown the nonsense
You know you worth
You value you
You know better
Correct.
Yes, these persons are ONLY greedy for the special treatment that is ONLY meant for someone who deserves to be your life partner. So I consider such persons as thieves who don't deserve anything and try to steal what belongs to others.
Lol if their lips are moving, they are lying. It's that simple.
True on that
Spot on
Shockingly true
😂😂😂
The most difficult part is to find it out with all the ongoing gaslighting and reframing manipulations. And she/he still keeps lying behind your back.
How can you survive that? Any experience, technique that you can apply?
If that’s a lesson, it was the most expensive one in my life.
They won’t chase you they think they are the hurt party . They are empty shells
You got that right… the narc that was in my life is hollow nothing there. I made my self sick trying to figure him out… now I know and I’m not nautious anymore. Good luck to you.
No cure for hollow heart / hollow human. Let karma have them 👌
My recent narc is chasing me. I have been in no contact and isn’t posting anything . He’s trying to Hoover im not buying it
SPOT ON
There are diff types of Narcissistic though they all follow the same pattern. Some will never chase you and if they do, they just want to hurt you. They are so sick. Some will not chase you. They move quickly to the next victim so avoid the the emptiness. They are all emotional vampires.
“Don’t worry once you are done with them, they will move on to the next victim”. You’re done!!!!
Exactly
And, it doesn't take long either! Sometimes, like me, it happens BEFORE you even get out. I'm pretty damned certain that she was out screwing around so I had NO problem leaving permanently and I have NO INTENTIONS of "forgiving and forgetting" cuz the damage has already been done. No guilt. No pain..but, lots and lots of anger from feeling used..
Bit concerned about the next victim though. She’s quite young and an employee.
Quickly
@@duanemcclure8324 believe that God is going to get her!
It gets worse every time you go back. They will mistreat you because you go back, because you left them. They want to vindicate themselves.
Yup. They will punish you for not giving them supply. Not giving them control.
Yes! The more you forgive a narcissist, the worse their behavior gets. You can never have a good relationship with a narcissist
So much worse each time you go back
I did it and came back ! But i knew that she is going to punish me so i was the one that make her miserable at the end ❤ nice revenge+i discarded her just because and gave her no contact ! Feel amazing to take control back
It got SO bad. The NPD hates you for every strength & weakness you even have. They NEVER forget rejection, IME; IMO.
I just entered into the understanding of the finality of things..disgusted. Truly disgusted. The trauma bond diminished dramatically in only a split second. The sudden realization that this is embarrassingly stupid. My personal value increased ten fold. The only thing that lingers is the idea ( my vision) of what could have been..reality sets in . Had no idea I could be hurt as deeply as I was . The healing is in knowing that value which we bring to the table . Perhaps someone deserving will come along.
I can totally relate Dan. Its like your soul has been ripped out and stomped on. But you finally realise you are better than that person you put on a pedestool. You realise that all those amazing memories were created by you.
@@mechweld you, my friend are absolutely right ..I'm in my head more nowadays and to be honest, it ain't so bad in Dannos world..the next person to enter my world will bring value and together we bring out the best in each other..u til then, Dannos world is closed...lol...thx for commenting
Brilliant Dan!!! Yes, "... the healing is knowing the value we bring to the table".
The 'addiction-ship' was NEVER about you (us), hence you (we) now have to make it not about the Narcissist. Healthy compensation is due.
Forgive yourself and the Narcissist Dan. Just re-individuate yourself from the Narcissist. You were NEVER wrong to invest in something you believed could be great.
Regards
Rodney
yea
i left him 1 month now
Do not seek revenge. Go completely off the grid. Ignore them. Seek therapy asap. Its NOT EASY but you CAN heal. I am.
He isn’t going to pursue me. He knows that I am DONE. Time is precious ❤
👍
My exN won't pursue me either! He's with the new person & has a child with her now! Plus I've blocked him in every way possible!
So happy now in my life!!!! He doesn't hoover me because he knows it won't work!!! Walking away from that bad marriage has given me so much courage I feel so much stronger!!! My energy levels are rising slowly. Saving my own soul was the best thing I could have ever done!!!
You are precious
You are strong
Narcissists LOVE things and USE people! Periodt!!!! And they DO NOT Change - even in their old age! 😵💫
They just feel nothing! As an empath it is the most frustrating thing. We are special humans. ❤
she made me feel like my gift from mother nature. the connection i have with my intuition. and the free spirit and personality, it all was a curse. because id rather not be stressed and act out stressed. or worry about what other people are doing with their lives. i only cared and still do, she hated everytime i was happy. and she would kick me out if i was silent for more then 30 sec. only time i was allowed to not entertain her, was when i was sleeping or alone. im exhausted.
They lack emotional intelligence for anyone but themselves .
Special? That's what narcissists think of themselves.
No kidding. I am an empath and being such, am very vulnerable to being misled by emotional gymnastics. Fortunately, being a Scorpio I had the ability to fight thru my emotions and drop the hammer on her. And I do mean the HAMMER.
@@bobleglob162 this whole "empath" thing is sus to me...its like constantly saying "I am honest"!
So true… they are truly unable to love you. They show love, but just the appearance of it, any deeper, you drown
Going back to a Narc is telling them that you have forgiven them for the lies, stealing, cheating, the hatred that they had projected towards you.
Not exactly. In their mind they do no wrong, so there is nothing to forgive. What going back to them does do is basically REAFFIRMS in their mind that what they have done to you is ok. Because if it wasn’t ok, why would you come back? This is how they think unfortunately. There is nothing to forgive, believe me. Whatever they have done to you is your fault.
Took snooping through her phone, honestly. Figure out the truth. It's gross. With great wisdom comes great sorrow. It's so confusing when someone says they loves you, cheats on you, ignored your needs. Once you see you can't unsee
Experience the same faith. She was good at lying with no remorse. That pain cutting deeper than any two edged sword.
Yes I’m gutted right now found on her cell phone her texting to guys we agreed both of us to tell each other if we talk to the opposite sex , she was texting these guys up to midnight and she would always tell mr she goes to bed at 830 , I confronted her about the texts 2 times and she said it was her brother and her gf , I called those numbers it was 2 guys she was talking to , I tell her the final time are you going to Finally tell me the truth she still lied to my face , then I told her I called those numbers , her reply next was I Am done , this is over I said of course this is over your a liar , and the week before i was taking her out for dinners and buying her things she wanted …what a nut job, she has bpd
Exactly
Don’t tell me you love me & expect me to pay the bill
@@alexanderthegreat3106I am dealing with the exact same thing!
So true 👌🏻. Never go back block and forget them. It’s going to be really hard. To do that, but trust me give it time and you will feel brilliant.
❤🎉😊
it not hard actually
@@user-le2mm9mg1z true, it’s not when you actually see them for what they are
I agree. As I commented to someone else, the anguish of going No Contact has to be preferable to the chronic cancer of staying. Once the boil is lanced, you have a chance to heal and move on.
I told him exactly what he is and thought about him when I walked out on him 8 months ago, he knew I was done. However amazingly he recently told a friend I won’t talk to him anymore, and when I recently run into him he wanted to talk to me but I ignored him and walked away. The man is too stupid for words or naively he thinks I am, he never did get to know me, too busy talking about himself 🤦♀️
🙏 🌷🌷🌷
Spot on. He thinks he knew you but you have the last laugh
They are very immature.
Exactly
I have lived with a narsist for 44 years but he is physically disabled. I blamed his behaviour to his disability. By the time I realised he is a narcistic, I cud not believe it. By then I had just given up and living in motion. The reality that sunk in me that am not only his caretaker and that he has the audacity to treat me this bad, I was automatically done, done with him and done with his disability. I truely don't care for one and two I had stopped loving him long time anyway.
It gets worse each time. They Can't change. It's Impossible.
You need to stand strong and keep rejecting their pull back
You need to keep moving forward
You need to focus on your life
You learned the lessons
You have graduated
You don't need to repay to repeat the course
You've been there done that
You don't know how many times moving created a situation where a college dean required that I take another course all over again
that's what it feels like
I never graduated then
I hope I finally do now
Yep a 🎢 🔁 that will never change
And what if narcissist is your son?
@@TheBSScience Then he will need God, respected religious figure, or a therapist 2 acknowledge his narcissistic ways. Pray for him!
Be done with the narcissist. Work on you. Work on your childhood wounds and own personal trauma. The love we give to others as compassionate people and empaths GIVE TO YOURSELF! I know it’s hard as a Empath but empower yourself. It’s a mirror of the “takers” narcissistic and the “givers” us. We are polar opposites. Date someone is empathetic like ourselves. Do not settle. Do you not try to fix change or save anyone. Fix change and save yourself. ❤
💯
Agreed 👍
YES. 💯
I went no contact 16 months ago! Best decisión of my life and I have never once had a thought to unblock or allow contact. He came to my work to try to intimidate me and he tired to speak to my neighbors to get information and get a message to me but I stayed strong and did not allow him to break my resolve. Something just çlicked one day and I knew it was him or me and I chose me! It was difficult at first but I educated myself and got some therapy and my life continúes to get better every day.
It's amazing, isn't it, how long you can keep deluding yourself that everything is really OK, and then suddenly, in an instant, the scales fall from your eyes and you see the truth about them at last. Then everything falls into place and makes sense, and you know the only thing you can do to reclaim yourself and live the rest of your life as the person you were meant to be, is to break the tie once and for all. This is not selfishness - it's survival! I have just decided on No Contact with a longstanding friend, and can already see that this is a very significant event in my life.
Narcissists never think they're at fault, so even if you leave they'll probably think of some random reason that totally removes them from all blame
Those demons never change. A waste of time energy and emotions. Over and over again the same bullshhhhhhh. Enough is enough! I definitely learned my lesson. 20 something years of mental emotional abuse. I will neverrrrrrrrrr everrrrrrrr go back! Liars, cheaters, manipulators!
He got sloppy screaming at me in public and someone called the police. I’m done and feel free for the 1st time.
What happened, share that story if you don't mind
You finally realise you are better than that person you put on a pedestool. You realise that all those amazing memories were created by you. I look back with 25 years of good memories. It was me in Paris having a coffee (Narc was not present) It was me having a great time with my family and hers (Narc was not present) wonderful memories of me the kids and her on holidays (Narc was not present) Love was amazing but (Narc was not present) it was me finally loving myself through the mirror she presented. Its like weekend at Bernie's
Keep making great memories just make sure the narc is not present......
Amen and all of gods people say amen
Yep I do things ony own it's nice not having narc around when narc is around she nags and starts fights narc always wants to be in charge 26yrs of it as she got older she got worse especially since now she has medical problems I'm 50 don't want this life anymore kids are grown time to make my move.
❤
" The Narc was not present " 🤣🤣🤣🤣👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 Right on !!!
They want to keep winning you over
They don't want to lose abusing you
Very true. 💯
Use your discernment, stand in your power, do not buy the lies, disconnect from the narc, move forward... great video, thank you for the encouragement and direction!
When you are really done it’s like being on death row and getting a pardon
I just left a very toxic year long narcissistic relationship. It was so empty. I used the terms empty dead end energy as well as toxic so many times they just did not understand that at all. I also never knew that Narcistic people existed. My mother was deffeinaly narcissistic 100%. I was groomed , love bombed. used and treated terribly. I could feel something was off. I should have trusted my gut feling and left right away. I was caught in a web of deciet and lies.
Please don't blame yourself, (my mother is narc as well)
I lived it for decades. We didn't know. We knew something was wrong but we simply didn't know.
Now we are awake, aware and informed and we have to put our shattered mind and spirits back together.
🙏 Sending healing energy
so happy for you, stand tall and be proud because now you can be a beacon of love and honesty
I've just gone No Contact with a longstanding friend. I am amazed that it is only in the last two or three weeks that I have realised she was a narcissist, as my mother was one, and I wou ld have thought I'd have spotted it a mile off!! Their manipulation is so skillful, though, that even the most intelligent and/or experienced of us can be taken in. It's quite a humbling experience and I'm greatful for a lesson well learnt! I shall be well on the look out for signs of it in future, I can tell you!
When you’re actually or REALLY done with that person, there’s ABSOLUTELY NOTHING they can tell you that you wanna hear. I don’t give a damn what it is.
So,so true!!
The cycle lasted so long! On and off for years!!! From when I was 15 years old until a few days ago. I’m 40 now😮
I get it. From when I was 6yo and I'm 58 now 😔
You’re still young!! Move ahead with many years of happiness!!
Stay strong it's so hard to cut ties but you won't find someone better while they're around. We need to heal ourselves and to do that we have to stop contact altogether. Good luck.
Same 😢
When I was done, he stalked me, sent me death threats, sent 700 emails over three days, called me 50+ times a day, turned up at places I would be, started a smear campaign and was a nightmare! He is now in prison for his violent behaviour towards me thank god!
It is the hardest lesson to let go of him. But I know he was a lesson in my life, not a blessing. I pray every day that I remain strong 🙏🏻and continue on my healing journey
Took me 3 weeks to figure him out. He was in shock!!! It had taken me 6 years to heal from another narc and I wasn’t about to waste another minute of my time with this one. I could read his every move like a book and during my healing process in past years, you’re one of the people who helped me understand what on earth was going on. Thank you ❤
Geez...the virgo I am...analyzed everything and had to put it in order, understand it. Back it up...ugh meanwhile clock was ticking...but out now❤😊
Are you an empath? Because they love empath. I have had 3 narc. Each one I never saw then coming even though I knew the signs. It happens so quickly but this one lasted 5 months.
I am proud of you. Same for me also.
Feels soooooo good to be DONE!!! 🥳🎉
The narcissist just doesn't care . The narcissist has no fellings .
Pure Malevolence
I am done too and he knows it he won’t try to come in to my life again. I was drawn back in 4 times and when he tried this time telling me he loves and misses me and no one compares whilst having new supply blocked 🚫 in every single way I can
😁👍💪
👍🕊️⭐
Important to understand
Just because a person speaks to you... you are NOT duty bound to reply
I see it a lot. Personal message. Phone call or face to face EVEN a legal document Whatever....
You have NO obligation to reply
Silence IS golden
Yep, me too. My X knows I know they won't try to contact me anymore. I don't care anymore.
Yes now we can give our own lives the attention!!! We deserve it!
Its just so nice to know im not alone in feeling these ways. It helps me to stay strong and im not going crazy. Thank you. Good luck everyone.
AMEN, ME TOO, SAME HERE!! 😊
Yes ❤️
You are not alone dear. We are many in numbers but now we are armed with ammunition lol. I hope you’ve moved in now.
I have been threw 30 years of abuse.. With the help of you and Rebecca Zung. Dr. Ramiani. have been a God send. and my eyes are open.. you all have gods message and points of truth. your knowledge is better then Gold Castles.I will watch all content..for this is therapy..you all offer..you all would be an awesome team to help ...those in these situation.Deep respect. for all the information.and experience..
I've not heard of Rebecca Zung before but I will check her out. I agree that this straight shooter & Dr. Ramani are awesome, beautiful souls!!
Narc daily with Andrew “You Are Not Alone.” He is very well spoken and straight forward with Narcissism. He gives insights and information about Narcissistic People and what to expect and to do. I also follow the three individual’s stated and few others
Between moving states and relocating, after 32 years of abusive marriage, I had enough and really worked on that trauma bond while I had the luxury of time apart. Just in time for him to come back during the last 4 months of his life, I did a great job taking care of him, even though he tried to destroy me by telling us about his double life with a piece of trash….I still can’t get over this was the only person I’ve loved my entire adult life and I actually still cry about his death but I’m also relieved that I have peace in my life now
So sad and so sorry 😢 for you. The Lord sees the inequities and will help you. Love and hugs sent to you.
My ex told me about his relationship with my ex best friend their affair lasted four years and then the last six months he broke me and completely cut me off because they were together but he only just told me. I'm broken he has had strokes and will die soon and I was so angry I felt like I would want him to but I'll be shattered when that happens and it will because he is on drugs and won't look after himself. I won't see him again if I can be strong enough but he isolated me to the point that I am all alone now. They're really dangerous people narcissists.
@@meganbrain8870 thanks for sharing, I hope you get help
my sons dad died, and though it was sudden and awful, I felt relieved because I could NOT be myself near him, he got angry if I wanted to discuss truther things like the faked moon landings.. in the end I gave up trying to meet like minded f friends because baby daddy would seethe silently and show me with stiff body movements that he was unhappy with my verbal freedom
OH MY GOODNESS….GOD BLESS YOU!! I CANT I AGINE YOUR LEVEL OF PAIN!!
Enough is enough. it's the lying what did it for me. He's silent right now, and so am I .
Thank you, I just left my Narc, I'm angry for being used and soooo blind.
My narcissist never came back and no hoover , it’s a sad situation however it is what it is .
Perfect, thank you so much. Just left a toxic girl and now we she's trying to come back with no result. I ignore her even if it is difficult...hold on!!
I broke up with the narc in my life. He has diagnosed NPD. Finally I got my closure and I am out! Couldn’t understand his toxic ways , his lies , betrayals before .. I have educated myself and this is the video I was looking for. I am applying “ no contact “ rule now for my sanity.
Love , peace of mind and closure we all deserve!
Sanity, survival, and the opportunity to live your best life at last! Freeeedom!!
Be free since valentines day....no contact...feels great.
My ex-narc did a whole smear campaign to put fear in me to come back. But it only made me laugh and run for the hills and stay there. I am so much happier now that I am free.
I knew I was finally done, things were a little awkward, he was avoiding and I reached out it said, let’s act like adults and talk… he met that request with a 3+ week silent treatment causing crushing anxiety, I finally said to myself I don’t operate this way, I don’t want to be with anyone who operates this way and this person does not value me or respect me. Once you come to that realization, it makes it a lot easier to end it and stay NO contact. Take your power back, I highly recommend! Feels great!
We don't even know them.. my soul is clean. I harbor no ill will, I take the lesson and move forward in life.
It will be a year in March March that I was done with the toxicity of the Narcissist and his flying monkey. I am so happy that I went no contact and had not accepted any Hoover attempts. I have a while longer on my healing journey but will continue to go ahead on my healing thanks to programs like yours 💜
They do realize what they lost. They lost everything they are not !!! Say that out loud …
Being done is the most freeing and terrifying at the same time.. getting through it was the most painful and exhilarating experience ever.. 12 years out and he’s still dropping subtle painful comments when we are around the grandchildren at the same time.. so nice to go home to my peaceful house alone!!❤❤
Once I leave,never,ever go back,no wayyyyyyy but as you say it's so painful to leave but then it's million times more painful, stressful, dangerous to stay and continuing being abused ,so unfair,so sad.After all I've been through in my whole life ,never imagined this could happen to me,I didn't even know this people existed,I found out about narcissism on tik tok by chance,believe or not ,I'm shocked and kind of frozen
I think you’re amazing ! You tell it exactly how it is . Never heard anyone giving a more accurate account of everything they do … spot on .
💯!
Same here!! I love how she validates US w/o saying how "pitiful" these lying, cheating & sneaky bass turds (lol) are!
Cant agree more
its so hard to leave, its so hard to think about yourself, its so hard not to listen to them, the guilt, the idyllic picture that might be... on and on the torture and mental games go... will you be ok, will they be ok, what have I done, should I of done something else, was it me? - its completely soul destroying, anyone who has been through this like I am, lets all be strong.
I am done with my hole family and my ex and they all know it,bunch of sicko's who constantly steal of you,I'm one of those people who when someone stabs you in the back smears your name I cut them out my life, great video anoushka top lady🌹
I told her I'm done and she ghosted me I walked away ,never going back to that BULL !!!
Thank you! It took me 7 years to escape. I’ll never go back. Malignant Narcissist of the worst kind!!!! I’ve been out a year now, continue to get stronger each day. Healing is a long journey.
Congratulations 🎈 on your healing ❤️🩹 now you can be freee to enjoy life
They can't put in the work and they don't ever want to be embarrassed....
Thank you for validating the pull and how hard it is to break. I’m doing it in process he’s realizing I’m done. Thank you again.
Our ending it was extremely dramatic! Because I ended it. He has asked somebody about me , he asked how I’m doing? And all they said was, I don’t know. He will not come back to pursue, because of exactly everything you just said in this video. Thank you.💪
Your boss
Excuse me..but uh.., "whattya doin'..for the rest of your life?!" 😁
Are you serious?! I was looking at that profile picture and thought to myself: "Wow! What an idiot that guy was!" You and all the other better women here should be communicating with men like me on here. Reading your comments, I can tell by the way that you speak, that you'd be VERY easy to get along with..a good 'partner' to be with. Some guys don't realize what they have, while others (like me) appreciate having a beautiful woman with a beautiful heart. That's NEVER to be taken for granted and a good woman is a gift. Absolutely beautiful profile picture!
@@duanemcclure8324
You sound like a groomer to me.
I left- for the second time. Unemotionally and in control. They know I’m done. Won’t be hoovered.
I really wish I could find a support group of older women, 50 or 55+ for those of us that are terrified to leave because of age, financial ties, leaving our home of 20 it 30 years ..... Would be nice to have those that have broke free or about to, to be a cheerleader of sorts, someone to talk to that gets it.
I will just keep watching videos and scrolling the messages.
Peace and love to all
Age? I'm 54....we have out whole lives ahead of us!!! You can do it on your own!!! Don't waste your life by staying good grief:(((........
@@Virgolove I will be 59 in a few days. I feel like im frozen. I have lived in trauma mode for so long i don't know how to just live. Thank you so much for the reply. Made me feel like im not invisible and your words of encouragement lifted me up a little. Thank you.
@@eclecticacre2593 are you on Facebook? I'm trying to add you on here, but ? I don't even see your page
Yes 50s is still young!!@Virgolove
I left over a year ago. I'm 57 yo and have been married to him 39 years. It's the best decision I've ever made. No more constant games and lies. I'm still healing and learning. I just wish I'd left sooner.
This is so helpful! I love when you said “the narcissist came into your life for the lessons, the narcissist is not meant to be in your life forever!”Thank you! 🙏 I am now free. I love myself too much to ever go back to him or another narcissist!
I was grieving. I'm still grieving. She hates me. I'm not a narcissist.
I've learned they can be on their best behavior for a few weeks. After that you'll see the frustration for having to pretend to be a caring human being. They get terribly exhausted for having to keep the facade up and they will unleash on you. In fact, it's right after a hoover attempt that you can expect some serious rage.
He ghosted me a couple of times, then for about a month I reach out to him and he returns back and put all blame on me and gave me some stupid reasons, gaslighting me and so on... He acted like a victim every single time. I was naive, I thought he was a hurt and shy person because I did not know what a narcissist is. Last time I just realized everything, I unfollowed him from every social media and I deleted his phone number. I am done! Then I saw that he blocked me everywhere. Narcissistic rage. :D
I am 5 months on and Anoushka every video you have posted has completely nailed it you have helped me get to a place where I feel, what the hell was I doing. I have watched some of them dozens of times because I can’t believe how accurate they are…. I know she ain’t done but I AM 😎😎😎
Yes and all that matters is YOU 💪
I am in a point where, I choose me and no more letting men snatch me and taking advantage of me. I am done with unhealthy relationships. No more giving my all and they gives me bs. I am going now 4yrs celibate in my life and I am ok being drama, chaos, manipulation and abuse free. I am 46 if I never get a good person in my life, I am ok with it. After all, I have 4 kids, a dog, a cat and I am taking care of myself without a man telling me, if its wasn't without him, I am nothing. That's a lie. I am enough. I am no longer putting up with people's bs, manipulation and abuse. I love me so much. I'll never again be with narcissists. I know who I am and I do not need to talk or be with them. We're not compatible. They're poisonous to me , my kids and our future.
you have 4 kids and no husband?,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,guys RUN!!!!!!
@@robertswift6101so dumb
apocalypse no kidding was my experience
In comments I see "He", "She". Singular sort of situations.
What I realized from my last no contact with a friend of 40 years and his narcissistic wife. This disorder is so prevalent in our society. I cut off from my three sisters because they learned so well from our parents. I am 69 years old and I am free!
I feel you. I just dropped a "friend" of 39 years.
@@M60gunner1971 I've just dropped a long-standing "friend" too. When they've been around for a long time, however awful they turned out to be (and I only just recently woke up!), they still leave a gap in our lives. When someone has been important to you for so long, it can't be any other way, surely.
"Carlos, why didnt you leave this woman!"😮
You are absolutely right 💯, Anoushka.
I intuitively believe that it is rare that a narcissist will ever heal from their condition.
After nearly 11 months of being in a talking stage / situationship / placeholder. I tried to communicate how I felt, my feelings…. Just to have them discarded. I compromised against my own standards n boundaries. All he wanted was sex and it’s been made clear. I ended that bs Monday. Beyond grateful. I was able to leave without any arguing , and useless broken record convos that go nowhere. Honestly , I get why people ghost 👻 others sometimes. I mean how many times are you going to have the same conversations? How long are you going to wait for them to chose you?! I am done ✅. I want to live n be free from the confusion n lies.
I totally agree, apart from a miracle from God, with whom all things are possible! Narcissists won't heal because they think they are perfect so why change? What narcissist would ever admit that he/she needed help from anyone? Any change would be a sign of weakness and the very nature of the condition militates against such an admission. They are trapped in their own chains.
She's diabolical. She would never say she changed- she doesn't need to change. She told me the breakdown was 100% my fault and discarded me, cause you know, she never made a mistake in 14 years. She wants to go sleep around. She tried to offer me the consolation prize of being 'texting buddies' if you can friggin' believe that!? You know, cause I was out of compliance and 150% exhausted! We were in engaged for godsakes! Pure evil. With zero remorse. I had to go NC. It's been rough, but what choice did I have, I was supposed to sit on the sidelines while she sniffed around the community for a new romantic partner, she probably cheated on me as well. I'm done.
I hope you do not mind me commenting. I had a similar experience and I want to say to you that you have been so brave and so wish many great things for you, much respect
my ex did the same thing,,,they are not a good person.....evil
same...my bf refuses to take any blame for anything. He thinks me trying to express my feelings is me trying to get my way. Doesn't understand my feelings whatsoever, no does he care to. He gets worse by the day. I am completely neglected now, while he calls me toxic for saying a single word about it. I try to ask if he thinks it would be better if we broke up. Genuinely asking, and he takes that as me trying to manipulate him...He acts like he has zero interest in me, especially on an emotional level, so of course I am asking that question...I have the feeling he is porb talking to someone else now too. If I say that, he will deny it, get angry, call me toxic and insecure. He also likes to act like I am the narcissistic one. He is the one that broke the trust, and made himself untrustworthy, with all the lies and sneaky behavior. I am not perfect by any means. I have a panic disorder, depression, and I can be needy, and bossy. I am also very empathetic, and can put myself in other people's shoes. 11 years together. I don't know what to do.
@@tyffaneelavely8087 YOU DO KNOW WHAT TO DO. Plan an exit strategy and doint look back- sure we love these people. But have so many personalites the chance that the person you fell in love with didnt exist. Sad but true.Leave him; for yourself. YOU CANNOT FIX HIM.
@@tyffaneelavely8087 sorry you are going through this,,,tough spot to be inlllmaybe take some time for yourself and self reflect...you do deserve better
divorced from the narc 20 years ago and still having nightmares I've let him back into my life.
Susan Pierce,You deserves better 🙏🙏🙏
I’ve learned so much from these videos thank you for sharing this truth about these people. I am so done with this person (he’s my neighbor across the hall). I refuse to let him in and I am over his BS . Things are so different now for me since I’ve figured out what he’s all about. I talk to him on my time not on his time. He wants to in his words help me and asks me do I need anything and I always tell him NO .
You need to move out of apartment.
You need to move on !!!!
I have read and viewed so many perspectives and advise on narcissism. Now it's time for me to move forward and continue with the healing process. Before I leave I wanted to say that your insights into the narcissist psyche are exceptional. Thank you for helping all of us. You are a Godsend.
I’m watching this one on repeat but I just cannot get to that point. I am heartbroken and he is the most evil cruel person ever who cheated again and is now with her, but I miss him. I don’t want to feel like this but I can’t help it. I’m jealous of his new one and their relationship even tho I should feel sorry for her.
Really don't sense there's anything at all new with said relationship. Probably as old as my shoe size.
Apparently you haven't yet fully grasped his true self. Seeing him for who he is, would make you realize that you miss the fantasy of him, not him. "He", as you define him, doesn't even exist. You might have an instinct to run away from that conclusion, because it sounds scary, but trust me - it sets you free. I don't miss my ex any more than I miss my imaginary friend from childhood.
Praying for you ❤
Anoushka, I really like what you have to say on this subject. I always take something away from every single talk I hear on narcissists. Thank you.
My narc ex is gonna keep getting smashed out by low frequency dudes and expect to be treated like God's gift to humanity while avoiding all accountability. So hey...good for her 😆😆😆
Bro same!!! Every time it was some low grade dude she was talking to. I thinks it's because they will be head over heels because she's outta their league. Fn disgusting
This woman has become my hero and i value any advice she gives. Even after gettinģ over my situation I still listen to her and hang on her every last word. I know shes saved many lives,im positive that she saved mine.
I have to say that you are so amazing!!!! I hope to meet someone like you someday. Such pure honesty, beauty and intellect.
I totally agree!! It's when I got into a relationship with a very malignant narcissist that I realized that my parents were narcissists as well, and most of my previous relationships were with narcissists (on different scales of narcissism). I have learnt so much and it changed my life forever!
I ❤❤❤ listening to a soul-sister that has been there, done the hard work, and tells it just as it is!!! Thank you for helping me make sense of it and directing me to stand in my own power 🙌💪
I’ve realized my strength lies within me and so if I decide that I am done, that is all that I need to stand on that truth IN ME. What the narcissist thinks or does is not my problem.
Thanks. I needed that pick me up. ❤
ITS GOOD TO LISTEN TO YOU. THANKS FOR YOUR HELPING ME UNDERSTANDING NARCISSIST WIFE.
YOU RADIANT A MYSTERY HOW TO SOLVE THE PUZZLE. I COMPLIMENT YOU! THANK FOR YOUR BEAUTIFUL GLOW. ITS SAD, WIFE DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO LOVE.
My brother, besides other numerous evelieous things he's done, didn't even let me give our deceased mother proper memorial service. Yes, I finally decided "enough is enough". I changed the locks in my apartment where he lived for number of years for free and today he is homeless. I was worried for a while if I did the right thing. How do I know???? I feel sooooo gooooood. All he is doing now is seeking revenge, he reported me to the police but without any luck. Case closed!!! After one year my mother's urn with ashes is still in the apartment and now I can finally and peacefully give her a proper and dignified farewell she deserves.
wow!!! like you were talking directly to me personally!! My situation to a tee. Im finally out! Divorced papers served, full on hoovering!!! Im not going back.........this time!!!!
Thank you this is indeed a wonderful video Aunoushka!
This information is for me! I truly loved him. The whole thing was so TOXIC!! It was a life learning lesson. I am DONE!! He is telling everyone lies. He ran to his new Supply. This was so predictable of him.
I’m so brainwashed. I don’t know if I was the narcissist or she was.
Trust me you're not. Get out now! Trust me the pain was unbelievable 💔
I realized how narcissistic I was because of this person. Only way I figured that out. And they bring it out of us regardless of who we are
@@7or11 Thank you. I’m going through that pain now. I believe you.
@@nickd3402 sending 💪 strength, good energy and prayers. You will be okay, just be extra kind to yourself and breathe deeply
@@7or11 the pain is debilitating
I told mine- remember this- I’ve taken you back for 28 years. I’ve always been there for you. This time it’s on you. All this is your choice forever. The rest of your life it’s all on you.
Thank you so much for this, Anoushka - it is really timely. I have just gone No Contact with a friend after I woke up recently, realising I'd been in denial of her narcissism for years. I'm done with being used. First time I really called her out over something, back in February, a definite toxic and unnatural reaction! It went downhill from there as she really showed her true colours. She's on the other side of the world so it's not so hard for me to go No Contact but her husband who is a friend of ours is living near us and he's the one who's going to get it in the neck from her, now I've done it, so we've got our work cut out to help support him. He has been going Grey Rock for some time without realising it. He's had a very tough time.
I have absolutely no intention of going back, or even having any conact at all with her. I know that if you go back, it is far harder to break away the next time - like a toddler having a tantrum in the supermarket because you won't let them have the sweets they want, and then giving in because the scene is embarrassing, after which the kid knows all they have to do next time is just keep going and you'll eventually give in. No must mean no!
I do have regrets though - we've been friends a long time and it hasn't all been bad. It will be strange not having her in my life. She falls out with everybody and I thought that would never happen to me, because she always said I was the only one who understood her, but I now know that that was because I wasn't being honest with myself and was constantly putting my own doubts and suspicions, and even my own personality on the back burner in order to keep things smooth and to keep the friendship going. She would violently disagree with me if I told her that now I really do understand her!!
Thank you for the great video!
When I started to be able read between his lines it was a game changer.
One time I was on the phone with a client of mine, when I hung up he said “I don’t think that’s what she wanted to hear”.
He gave himself away in a split second.
He knows I know what he is. He did try once, all he wanted was to borrow money. I’m glad I was smart enough to see the bs Hoover. He knows he’s met his match with me. So he’s hanging with his low hanging fruit. Thank you ❤
Never asked you for anything but the truth whoops forgot you're incapable of that
Oh God, I just came with an answer as soon as I finish writing my last coment... God helps you when you seek him and ask for help and some answers