I felt like part of the doll collection on the mantel, played with whenever, tired of me, then on to another prettier, fresher supply. I fell off the mantel, and took off running. I hid, nobody cared, so I left for good! Someone out there will give me cuddles, and love me like your only dolly.
I'm so proud of my efforts to stay 💪 strong and no contact 🚫 for the past 2 months! I love being in the driver's seat for the first time in my life! Discovering myself, I am enjoying just cooking a veggie Lasagna now after work. A normal, peaceful day! No mind games, manipulation, crying, heartache. Just peaceful
Isn’t it great! I’m just shy of 2 years of no contact. I’ve taken charge of my life as well for the first time. I absolutely love the peace. Congratulations I wish you wellness, peace and happiness.
Well done, I’m no contact for 6 months and I feel so much better, I am eating better, I have started an exercise regime, I’m doing a course, life is good without the toxic monster to try and destroy it.
Great job! The lasagna sounds good. I have been free of my ex and family for over 4 years. The peace and contentment is definitely the best part of being away from them.
Grasp your peace and don’t let go of it bcuz he’ll return. Keep being unbothered and enjoying your veggie lasagna☺️, especially your peace, Hold on tight with all your might to your peace girl!
They always come back, just a matter of when, and they come back when whoever else they’ve been with sees them for who they are and dumps them or they’re just bored w whoever they’re with. They’re sick. Take good care of you and stay w quality souls only❤
My New Life I realise that many highly narcissistic, or worse, individuals do return, yet I'm also aware that some don't bother, especially if they're charismatic and good-looking, so can easily get new and preferably younger victims! I'm in my 60s now and have health issues, along with financial ones, hence why I'm not much use to the troubled exes anymore, which is the only positive aspect of my situation. 😊
How horrible 😂🤣😂 how dare you question their lies you know you are going to accept "their truth" eventually so it's horrible of you to have forced them to invent more lies to support the initial one you had the audacity to question
Not all are narcist, most are unhealed. Most of narcist have low confidency and problem with parents in the childhood. They are weak, mostly, have a dominant father. Call you when you dissapear, many men, block you without big reason and call you after few months theg miss you but not enough to come
@@lindalin5998 That's called mind fck! They all do the same,and always have a next supply just in case. Don't be fooled. They call/ contact you bcs they have to have control on everybody. Ain't gotta do NOTHING with 'missing' you. If you don't know, narc miss nobody as they are not able to feel emotions besides anger.
He is gonna get an earful, whoever she is with !!! I bet she can't stop thinking about me !!!! Sucks to be him !!! She monkey branches and I don't want nothing to do with her !!!!
Additionally, if the Narcissists knows going into these relationships that they won't last, can you imagine how tiring it must be to continuously start over - going from person to person only to fail again and again. It's purely a form of self-sabotage. Why don't they see their behavior is never going to work - it's not sustainable, and when it does it is only short lived. They are never going to achieve anything.
Cause they don't care. It's all about their needs always. They take what they want, leave the other person in ruin, and move on to another unsuspecting victim. They don't have the capacity to do anything else. They also suffer from 'magical thinking' that their perfect person is still out there somewhere. They have an attachment disorder. They are disordered people. It's sad, but they hurt an awful lot of kind, caring people. And while they act like they are always the victim, deep down they know it's them. That's why they always speak fondly of their ex's while simultaneously portray themselves as the victim.
If you're wondering about the inner workings of a person with narcissistic personality disorder, or cluster B personality disorders. I would look to Dr. Sam Vanikin. He himself is a Malignant Narcissist. He has studied himself and others. Once you understand the how and why of these types of people, you don't forgive them but you understand and pity them. It's a shallow and superficial existence. To quote Wesley Snipes from the first Blade movie, " Once you understand the nature of a thing, you know what it's capable of ". Educate yourself on these type of people because they are out here among us.
😩He once told me "I need to have control" I finally came to the conclusion that I need to run for my life and sanity, I left, its been nearly 4 years now and he's still mad😔
It's almost one month no contact but did text for my stuff an he could have cared less talking about ill drop it off...30+ yrs ...my things so I can't even get my own stuff...thats all...no talking🚫 buy why❓️
Keep going on! You will get your energy back. You will feel hurt many times in this journey. But, I can only pray for your success. May 13 days become 13 months and then 13 years!!
@blancamiranda778 I left my stuff, my mind and health was too important. Didn't care less. 16 days in, no contact. The roller coaster ride, odd feelings, strange behaviors was just too much to bare.
4.5 years and I’m a mess. My heart is broken because I’m realizing it wasn’t ever what I thought. I gave so much of myself and now I’m broken. Your videos are so comforting and helpful. Thank you ❤
1:11 Dated 4 years. Married for 25 years to a narcissist. When I did leave I was a shell of myself. I didn’t know who I was anymore. Broken mentally, physically and emotionally. I cried every day. Didn’t sleep or eat for months. It took me 7 years to find some resemblance of life. I went to therapy. And back to school for a psychology degree. THIS is how I found my way back…Therapy. Getting educated on behavioral disorders. Self love. Setting boundaries and standing on them. I finally got my power back. I’m not interested in going through that again. I felt like the walking dead
I did thirteen years. It was all a facade. When he was gaslighting me and discarding me it was like he was an imposter. I had no idea who he was at that moment. He kept the mask on for thirteen years. Thank you God for getting me out of that.
I walked after one of my female narcissist rage moments. Then she twisted around and blamed me. She moved onto new supply within a week even though we had been together for two years. It’s totally mind blowing 🤯🤯
They treat you like you are the only thing that was wrong in the relationship. They talk down to you and have no ability to admit fault, ask forgiveness or forgive.
They just move on to one of the other people they have access to. They alway have at least one person as back up. They don’t give you another thought until they alienate the current contact and may want to recycle you. We aren’t real to them. They disassociated as children.
You could tell when they're coming back for you as a consolation prize only. They might initially pretend otherwise, but whether it's open triangulation or them seem like they're being a bit insincere your gut, you can just tell it feels uncomfortable to your intuition, if you're me
14 years with my narcissist ex boyfriend. Didn't even know he was a narcissist until the end. There were signs I realize now, but I chose to overlook them. Not anymore, 3 months of no contact. I'm focusing on my healing. Praise God for revealing him to me.
@@marie2928only a week. It takes time but focus on the truth he will NEVER be the man who will love and value. Life would just be chaos and stress. You deserve better.
They don’t have the bandwidth means the ability or time to deal with a situation, especially one that involves a large amount of information or a number of problems:
It's hysterical how at this stage they become very defensive , accusing you of being totally awkward or difficult , when all you are doing is being normal towards them 🤔😆 Having the ' knowledge ' is a real revelation and has completely changed the way I see other people !! It's as if suddenly your eyes are open again after being trapped in the dark for so long , and the best part is you can finally see YOURSELF once again 💪🙏❤️
My ex had me pretty well convinced I was the narcissist, but I was dancing to her tune, trying to do the things she told me she needed/wanted/expected, only to be bashed up the head with it as evidence of my weakness or failures.
It's amazing how they can make things up to try to convince you that you did and said things that they actually did and said. They seem to have a deep down need to convince you that you are the bad person, that you are the one who did the very things that they, in fact did. It simply boggles the mind.
The absolute lies, manipulation, the cruelty is so damaging. they destroy your soul and then leave you gasping for life, but they've fucked your head so badly you don't understand what just happened. but then after you've begun to truly heal. in my case 6 years, they come back . and if you've chalked it up to just a shitty ending and still haven't worked out they're a narcissist you take them back and THIS time the break you completely 😢. to the point where you see absolutely no value in living anymore. because the pain they leave you with is indiscrable. it's on a soul level never experienced before and man it's hard to struggle through each day. is this life now??. I don't want it anymore
I'm learning about it too.. I swear, when I look up the definition of narcissist in the dictionary, that romantic interest's name is written in the sentence..😮
Absolutely spot-on. Going “no contact” was incredibly difficult for me as I worshipped her… but it was absolutely the best thing I did. Thanks to professional help with a Therapist I see things for how they really were… I was deluded by my person into thinking that I was the unreasonable one!
Yes that’s exactly what they do! They play on our love, use it to their advantage and play reverse mental games to keep us feeling beneath them. I woke up and shut him out my life for good! Amazing how everything has changed for the positive once I realized what he was doing. I feel so bad for the people that stay in the same cycle for 20 30 40 + years ! But it’s never to late ! Don’t think about that number think about your freedom and RUN! It’s Never to late to take back control of your life !!!! Good luck all !
7 years and 2 children later. I have decided to leave...Listening to this definitely helps! Long journey ahead, but for the first time in the last 7 years I am able to be me again, whatever that person was like, I must find her again
I was with my malignant narc for almost 30 years and then left while he was away on yet another short work trip with his secret back burner supply. He never saw it coming. I’m healing slowly but the real point I wanted to make was that when I look back I see that right from beginning he was always talking about when the relationship ended. As if he was always prepping himself for the day one of us would leave. I realise that in my heart I knew he was never really committed like I was. He couldn’t attach like I did. So I ask myself constantly why did he never go. He always threatened to leave and said he hated me and so forth but he NEVER left me.
They can't leave grade a supply the whole narc computer will malfunction because they feed off your traits and present to the world as if they are you if you go they won't have anybody stand up to imitate
Wow. Same for me. 30 years. I am no longer angry or filled with hate, but I feel sorry for him. I know I have loved. He never did. Now I and the kids will heal.
My Narcissistic husband used to tell me he was going to divorce me he stopped saying it when I told him to go head I say now well if you don’t like it do divorce me that shuts him up real quick. Soon I will leave with my daughter that’s 😂16 and wants nothing to do with him and my dog
Ppl use as their personal objects with love bombing, taking without giving, done normal,lost game, it's never about us it's about their supply, I get my clearity I don't even need their explanation bcz I know they will never admit their mistake. They see us only supply
They usually have abut few solid easy targets all the time on their social media or in group of friends or in work. They just chose the moment to suck them in situationship and play with new victim
Empathy requires mindfulness...understanding it was never about you, but them--what you gave them, and not who you are. Embracing the unity of things radically is painful and scary from an empathetic perspective: realizing this person is totally not who you thought, you can tend to blame yourself for not seeing it--realizing that was just part of their game and you were merely an object can be a terrifying thing to encounter. It helps me to remember to be grateful that I have empathy and they don't, that it could be worse--you could be like them.
Yes, and I'm also thankful for all the good people in my life. The non narcissists.I just recently encountered a narcissist and it took me some time to realize and really have never experienced this before. But my eyes are open now.
Thank you for this great video. Today is day 10 of no contact. Can't even imagine him trying to come back at this point. Nothing but a liar and a user!
How can a narc act surprised though?! Once I realized full control over me STILL wasn’t enough… what is even the point. No one is willingly going to want their life destroyed and thrown away.
I'm also not sure why they believe that they can take without giving back, and what is the relationship between how they were treated as children and taking from people. How does being objectified as child cause them to take from others? What they don't realize is that people will naturally give them validation, but they must adhere to "give and take" and not simply "take."
They are socially inept. I see it this way, in order to get love and validation from their parents/ carers they had to change to please them. Unfortunately they take it too far and shut down genuine connectivity with others as a means of self protection. Sad really sad
The ones I know took me for a fool and were just using petty tactics to get resources out of me. It was especially obvious with my old narc neighbor, they just don't care about people and always look for the next fool
The Key of narc trauma is “conditional” and “unconditional” love. Instead of getting pure unconditional love they have to earn love and that’s how they destroy ability to genuine connectivity.
My ex tried to hoover me back and I told her why I left (she cheated) and that I knew that she didn't care. No response. Your video helps me understand why. She is in a desperate situation. She may get evicted. Her expecting compassion for me now after what she did to me is laughable.
What happens when you’re NOT a narc and you act towards them the way they do you? You don’t pay them any attention, emotions & don’t care what they do or say & they notice you’re not there like it used to be?
So i actually did that. I just repeated their behavior right back at them. First let me say, dont do it unless you are ready for them to lose it! They went absolutely insane and filed a court case against me. Ill never forget what they said tho, “Stop doing to me what i do to you” Thats when i knew all the abuse was indeed intentional!
When I've done the same thing, he's always gotten upset and blamed me for his behavior and projected. When he's gone quiet, so have I. It normally lasts 5 months then he reappears. He just disappeared again but I'm not going around the tree this time. He's going to find out the hard way.
Yes, because they can be delusional and live in a world of their own, and when you don't respond to them the way THEY WANT YOU TO, then all of sudden you're the one with the problem BECAUSE they don't want their little fantasy that they created in their delusional mind to be destroyed, therefore they have to do whatever it takes to make it reality because they embarrassed the hell out of themselves. They don't care who they hurt because they're only out of themselves.
They don't like the truth and they love gossip, especially if they can make up false facts. Thank you for your video's. My co worker's will never grow up. Ever!
I’m trying to focus on that right now….. things might be a bit of a mess in my life, but the one thing I can do is hold onto my power within my own life👌
This is great info for someone who is still trying to get away from a narcissist but for those who have finally broke free and left the last thing you should do is still worry about what the narcissist is thinking
They’re too lacking in self awareness to explain themselves or offer closure. That deep lacking of consciousness is only to be pitied, and superficially at best. Walk on in the knowledge that you’ve created space for something better in your life.
I love mine still care deeply for her and care what happens to her!but let me assure all I would never let that evil be in any part of my life ever again. We always must forgive others what they have done to us in order to be totally free from all of it
I was with mine for 20 years. Played every single trick on me and chose to look the other way. Hate for her doesn’t touch the surface. Horrible human being. Good luck to her next victim. No forgiveness here
Like my ex narc GF that spent 10 months with. All the lies and constant drama. I ended things and two days later she was seen by two friends on tinder yet has spent months leaving me voicemails about me being her soulmate and her forever person. Liars is all they are.
I was with my narcissists husband for 35 years . I exposed him in public in our Christian Church. They get so upset when you hold them accountable. But when you take back the power and control, They run like road runner. They know that you have figured them out.
@@jonathanomahony688 The narcisist is a stranger in Ottawa married to a women who goes along with his stalking me. He targeted me on Facebook. I would never be with a narcisist. Most of my past relationships were with men that truly respect women. This is forced abuse through cyberstalking. A police report was filed.
I'm Gray Rocking an OCPD manager and your video is spot on. They are cycling rapidly between anxious hoovering and panicked projections, all without any change in reaction in me. They have been latching onto anyone they can to micromanage, even our clients, interns, and people that don't report to them in our office, and they are LOSING everyone after 8 years of demonstrating their problematic lack of real leadership. We Gray Rock and give him all the rope he wants without attaching that rope to us. It is very sad, to be honest, but his unquenchable and relentless need to force everyone into moving backwards has been traumatic to all of us. We are all still here, but it's over inside me. I am beyond bored with it. I'm in therapy, on meds, saving money, easy to get a long with, and great at what I do and people notice... and it has driven him crazy since day one and that isn't my problem. He could have led with respect and care, instead of ladder climbing. I need no validation from anyone. I love myself and I'm not looking to anyone else for approval now.
I want to thank you for your video. I am in the process right now of leaving a 28 year marriage with a narcissist/ toxic wife. It have given me more strength and confidence that I am doing the right thing. I have to keep moving forward and know this is the best for me, and this is the first time in many many years I am putting myself first.
Block, delete, move on! All that wasted energy..... When we live our best lives, none of this matters anymore. I actually feel bad imagining what it must be like to be a narc. That lasts a brief moment, then it's off to do something interesting! I hope everyone has a great day. 😎👌
They often do not care that much. They do not attach emotionaly so for them its pretty easy to forget fast. They csn be litte angry that they do some mistakes but more often all that was planed. So they move with their script.
Not true if they are not super rich life is not do easy to get others this is a lie they tell nobody want them they wouldn't never contact you after if they was so solid ..the truth is nobody wants them ..
I wish I knew a way to stop loving and desiring someone who has been treating me this way for nearly 8 years now. Everytime I stop contact and feel I am done with her, after weeks or months have past I find myself craving her and the good times I know will last only a few days at best before she starts gaslighting me and degrading me. I start feeling sorry for her and tell myself it's not her fault but the abuse she endured from her father and stepmother growing up.
Ty for this He discarded me last year told me he didn't want my number anymore so without even knowing what it wax I was doing I gave him what he wanted I bought a brand new phone new number He discarded me so I discarded his number he tried to Hoover me on Christmas by talking to my daughter he asked her how I was doing knowing he doesn't care about that. This is him trying to get info on me my daughter told him that I wasx fine Then he asked if I was coming to church my daughter told him no he knows that I am not coming back he moved across town ty God
They really realise when the cost/save dynamic is no longer in their favour, they know when to give up on the game they've been playing with you, and disappear. Without regret or emotion. It's a very callous decision on 100% self preservation, at that point ALL pretend false emotion for you is cut off!!
She knows I was too difficult to control, why I left, and then she discarded me. I'm almost 2 months into NC. I hope her life is a living hell, the same hell she put me through for years and years and years. I've taken my power back. No more.
I fell for a narcissist's act. Trying to get her to leave was frustrating. She threatened terrible retribution. She never seemed happy and everything I did was wrong. She was jealous of my friends, violent and superior. We did break up a few times. Then she got cancer and continued to be mean. Still I looked after her post a major operation. When she was back on her feet, she finally admitted she was miserable at my house ... I asked her to take a break with friends a few hours away, to see if she felt better there. She clearly was... and after a few weeks I asked her to go on a holiday with me and she refused so I asked her if I could take someone else. She said that was ok so I took a friend. Nothing happened that weekend, we are old friends and I wanted to keep it that way. She didn't trust me, when I got home all her things were moved out and a friendship ring was left with no message on the counter. Since then I've had two gorgeous girlfriends but those relationships broke down really quickly I feel really deeply broken and doomed forever. This is my situation. 😥😢
Really sorry rht happened to you. I know u will heal in due time. Perhaps take time for urself and focus on ur growth and things tht bring u joy in ur life. Or discover new things
She had been using you. You are not alone. Mine too. Just because someone she just met adore her, she jumped ship and abandoned our 4.5 years relationship and marriage. They dont deserve what we got so let them away, they will never happy
Your first mistake was stating that she was superior. She was never superior to you. Don't ever say that again. It is also not too late for you. Just improve yourself and seek out good and not evil. You will be blessed with a good woman when you seek her out and she will appreciate and respect you.
I literally just got off the phone with my ex-wife narc. I've blocked her everywhere but can't block her office land line. I knew it was her, it happens every few weeks or so, and sometimes, I just can't resist the temptation to answer the phone just to see what she has to say. Always wanting to talk, but since I know who she really is, and I know who I am in Christ Jesus, all I have to do is ask her annoy 1 of the many things she did while we were together, she then lies(yet again) I laugh at her, tell her I'm sorry that she can't admit the truth, then I hang up. I'm sure she'll call again in a few weeks, but I am completely free of her spell, so it's all good. I wish it could be so for everyone else. Peace and love to all....
When he gave me silent treatment, I cried but didn't express my sadness to him. When he lied with me and cheated on me , I cried but didn't show my tears . I went no contact . When he come back somehow, and said sorry I didn't believe. I exposed him on public. I lied him too, I promised him to love him and then discard him intentionally. Because the amount of pain and sorrow he gave me I can't forgive him in my whole life. Now I am in no contact again. Am I wrong Did I do any mistake ?
no mistake it was deserved after what he did to you,,,my ex gf narc hurt me deeply but i didnt show it in front of her even when she brought her new supply around and flaunted it in my face,,,but inside my heart was bleeding,,i went no contact and focused on myself,,,,she is mad because i wont forgive and take her back,,,how messed up is that when she already has a new bf,,,,smh,,,you are not alone,,,i am a survivor
The ex narc knew I figured him out after I took him back post divorce. He had nothing to offer, aged horribly and had a “ limp noodle”due to diabetes. I am the last person he wants back.🤣🤣🤣
HA HA HA limp noodle) yes, my narc too after cheating on me last year just before he had his prostate removed due to PROSTATE CANCER! by using blue 💊 pills viagra and his supply harem garage he did his rounds and i was none the wiser until 5 months ago, when i caught him texting in the bathroom instead of PEEING…. yep, i confronted him and low and behold, he had some chick in his cellphone UNDER A MAN name! but, hey it’s all so innocent! so, I loved him and didn’t care about limp noodle prostate cancer NARC…until now. I LET HIM GO! he is almost 73. I’m 8 years younger & I was a genuine person and he is a total FAKE, fake Christian and fake everything. I hope he lives the rest of his life ALONE. what a sad excuse for a person. FAKE FAKE FAKE liar liar liar Wash, Rinse, and repeat. What a pitiful life he is.
This is interesting. I’m not a narcissist at all; however I ended up seeking her out initially before I realized and discovered that I was emotionally trauma bonded to the toxic narcissist in my life. Why are the symptoms you described here for what the narcissist experiences, so similar to the same experience the non-narcissist has for the narcissist when the narcissist suddenly vacates the relationship. My toxic abusive narcissist left me abruptly by way of brutal smear campaign through weaponizing her cancer scare. Left me isolated and alone. You described what the non-narcissist experiences as well; he or she seeks out the narcissist initially because they think they made a mistake….. The emotional withdrawal is excruciating at times and one ends up believing he or she misses the narcissist. Its actually that they got use to the toxic behavior and it became a norm; what I realized. One does not miss the narcissist, but rather the connection to “HOPE FOR THINGS TO GET BETTER.”🤔
Most victims will end up adopting covert narcissistic traits from their narcissist due to long exposure so it's normal for you to feel those symptoms even though you're not a narc. Get some healing and avoid all narcs in your life.
@risingeagle6332 - You are so right. In a relationship with a narc, hope keeps you trapped; hopelessness sets you free. Best wishes for a great narc-free life!
They are weird they think they own you... mine would say things that were bizarre like it was normal and it would intrigue you... and make you want them again
Hey friends! I love it how I see my narc recycling the same people he pines for. He so dumb that he does not realize that when he blocked me; he can’t see me anymore. Lol. I was so sad over the break up and hurt by friends that bought into his lies about me. I hurt for these monkeys but now I am indifferent. Not my circus, not my monkeys. Buh Bye. Thank you Anoushka. Love your explanations.
They never really care about you, it's just games, games, games, and one day, you just say to yourself - sod this!!!!! Walk away and save yourself the pain and stress, why on earth would you want to be around an emotional vampire all the time? They just want to suck you dry.
Well actually they don't like it when you are moving on. They can't have this. It was always alright to them to ignore you, scour other girls etc but when you do it they feel that power switch and they're trying to get it back. They don't like feeling powerless. They feel they have to try and restore the balance back to them so that explains why they're going crazy by stalking you, blowing up your phone or god knows what else. Not being in the position of power over you makes them more crazier and then that unfortunately does come with other problems but knowing that they can't influence you it drives their tiny minds mad
They hoover and level up but still obviously don't change. The narc thinks he will find a NEW supply and cheat on us while we already left the situation. Then the narcissist will triangulate and try to act like a princess and still try to make You chase him😂
I doubt mine will ever try because I saw through all his bs, called out his abuse and have made it clear I will never speak to him again - only through a third party like a lawyer.
They also like predicting your behavioural styles so they know if they do one thing it makes you mad (and angry women unfortunately tend to come across as off their heads) so if they can say my ex is off her head they'll get believed. They study us. This is why being able to predict our behavioural patterns, our emotions, gives them the feeling of being in control. They don't like someone who's a little more spontaneous, some one who they can't control!!! They take great pleasure at being able to influence us!! If they know that you are more sympathetic to their problems there's a good chance you'll be that way again and not shut a door in their face. Not like, you brought this on yourself mate I'm not going through this again. I've been around those types of people before. If I truly believe someone is a victim I'll put my arms around them and they'll get my full support and I would help them get back on their feet (as much as I could possibly do) but if I know they've caused a lot of it because I knew they were just as horrible as the other person, not so much.
It could just be me but I personally believe if you're someone who grew up in an abusive Environment, the chances of the narcissist breaking you apart is slimmer. I say this because, I grew up in an abusive household, and whilst I was with my "ex", regardless of how many times she did me wrong...when I left her, I did not feel as though any long lasting damage was done. I literally told her, "it will take me about two hours to process all of this and I'm good. Ive been through worse things in my life that it won't effect me at all". And that's exactly what happened. I felt emotional about it that night and the next day, It's as if she barely existed.
Harun Daniel, I agree with you. They also become narcissistic when they are raised as SPOILED BRATS. I say this because mine was pampered, he received anything he asked for, and went into a tyraid when he was refused. His parents "gave in" to him. His mother washed his clothes, folded them, and put them away. I could go on. You take care of you. By the way, I was with him for 5 years, and this was 11.8 years ago.
@@jannlewandowski5540 I can also see that. I'm really confused with my ex...she said she had a bad relationship with her mother yet it was her mothers side of the family which showered her with love and affection growing up. Her interaction with her mum were not that bad also...So I really don't know how she ended up becoming a narcissist. And more importantly why she doesn't seek help. She knows she's a narc but continues with her poor behaviour. If it was me, i'd be trying to improve myself immediately.
It is okay for her to go no contact, she know where I am. I am no object to anyone. She is an adult no more a child maybe in her mind. She think that I don’t know how she think. It is over as such will never get any supplies from me never again. Thanks so much for the above narration! Bye for now!!!
I tried to leave my covert narcissistic husband 5 years ago. But he would hoover me in. But back then I was not in therapy, did not know I had a covert narcissistic spouse. Then I became educated and realized how emotionally abused I was. I caught him in lies, realized exactly how much he was gaslighting me. He always had excuses, was lazy I never felt I knew who he really was and felt I could never trust him. Mind you, I have been married to this dude for 14 years. I have learned to set boundaries. Stood my ground. I have gone no contact. I am happier, feel myself, genuine, more confident, no anxiety, no body aches. My therapist told me welcome back!
They NEVER CARED. THEY ARE CRYING AND Hurting because they CANT CONTROL YOU ANYMORE
Exactly
I stopped a Narcissist by telling her that she needed psychological help.
That stopped her in her tracks, and she stopped talking to me.....
They’re not crying and hurting
As you said they don’t care
They find someone else and don’t care about us at all - don’t even think about us
@@GodisLove4Eternity Consider it a blessing that they leave you alone.
@@bl1429 Amen !
They forget you in a millisecond and look for their next victim
He was hoping I'd leave...thats why he wanted to drop my stuff off ...Why❓️ I can't go to my home an get my own stuff.....
😂😂😂
I felt like part of the doll collection on the mantel, played with whenever, tired of me, then on to another prettier, fresher supply. I fell off the mantel, and took off running. I hid, nobody cared, so I left for good! Someone out there will give me cuddles, and love me like your only dolly.
@@banjiddle I was told after the fact by my ex narcissist, "if you want cuddles by a pillow!"
Yes. Something wrong with them as the don’t have empathy.
I'm so proud of my efforts to stay 💪 strong and no contact 🚫 for the past 2 months!
I love being in the driver's seat for the first time in my life!
Discovering myself, I am enjoying just cooking a veggie Lasagna now after work.
A normal, peaceful day!
No mind games, manipulation, crying, heartache.
Just peaceful
Isn’t it great! I’m just shy of 2 years of no contact. I’ve taken charge of my life as well for the first time. I absolutely love the peace. Congratulations I wish you wellness, peace and happiness.
Well done, I’m no contact for 6 months and I feel so much better, I am eating better, I have started an exercise regime, I’m doing a course, life is good without the toxic monster to try and destroy it.
Great job! The lasagna sounds good. I have been free of my ex and family for over 4 years. The peace and contentment is definitely the best part of being away from them.
Grasp your peace and don’t let go of it bcuz he’ll return. Keep being unbothered and enjoying your veggie lasagna☺️, especially your peace, Hold on tight with all your might to your peace girl!
I feel you..., Amen🙏🙌💗💯
"It's not that you wasn't good enough, you was too good." Hmm.. I felt that!
You ARE TOO MUCH FOR THEM!!!!
Too Honest.
Too sincere
Too authentic
It’s so true .. look at their past partners and you realise how you are a much more valued person who they did not value .. hold your head high
They always come back, just a matter of when, and they come back when whoever else they’ve been with sees them for who they are and dumps them or they’re just bored w whoever they’re with. They’re sick. Take good care of you and stay w quality souls only❤
My New Life I realise that many highly narcissistic, or worse, individuals do return, yet I'm also aware that some don't bother, especially if they're charismatic and good-looking, so can easily get new and preferably younger victims!
I'm in my 60s now and have health issues, along with financial ones, hence why I'm not much use to the troubled exes anymore, which is the only positive aspect of my situation. 😊
@@cyndigooch1162 Bless you Cindy
@@cyndigooch1162 we are way better off without the toxic. Enjoy your peace❤️
Sooner or later the Narcissist WILL run out of supply!!!!
I stopped a Narcissist by telling her that she needed psychological help.
That stopped her in her tracks, and she stopped talking to me.....
This stuff should be taught in high school, lots of messed up lives due to these kind of people.
Excellent❤
YES. Should be taught in high schools to protect young people.
Easily bored, need to control others with the least amount of energy.
They’re total BORES.
Masterfully said once again.
Dating a narc for 2 months taught me more about myself than any other life experience.
Me too I was soooo fed up I went back three times but I'm done this time
Wish I could have seen it for what it was in 2months how about 21 years jeez
18 months for me but I realised after 4 months what he was. I stayed longer because I thought he would change. They can’t change only get worse.
Took me 20 years to realise 🙁
Me too!!! I’ve learned so much!!!
They take a next victim and trash you how horrible you were. Whatever🤣
How horrible 😂🤣😂 how dare you question their lies you know you are going to accept "their truth" eventually so it's horrible of you to have forced them to invent more lies to support the initial one you had the audacity to question
@@stevereid4092 😂😂😆 shame on me whhaah
Not all are narcist, most are unhealed. Most of narcist have low confidency and problem with parents in the childhood. They are weak, mostly, have a dominant father. Call you when you dissapear, many men, block you without big reason and call you after few months theg miss you but not enough to come
@@lindalin5998 That's called mind fck! They all do the same,and always have a next supply just in case. Don't be fooled. They call/ contact you bcs they have to have control on everybody. Ain't gotta do NOTHING with 'missing' you. If you don't know, narc miss nobody as they are not able to feel emotions besides anger.
He is gonna get an earful, whoever she is with !!!
I bet she can't stop thinking about me !!!! Sucks to be him !!!
She monkey branches and I don't want nothing to do with her !!!!
"It's gonna cost them too much to get you back" Boom. That's it right there.
Yup way too much! Inconceivable! Nevertheless it will never happen!
Additionally, if the Narcissists knows going into these relationships that they won't last, can you imagine how tiring it must be to continuously start over - going from person to person only to fail again and again. It's purely a form of self-sabotage. Why don't they see their behavior is never going to work - it's not sustainable, and when it does it is only short lived. They are never going to achieve anything.
Cause they don't care. It's all about their needs always. They take what they want, leave the other person in ruin, and move on to another unsuspecting victim. They don't have the capacity to do anything else. They also suffer from 'magical thinking' that their perfect person is still out there somewhere. They have an attachment disorder. They are disordered people. It's sad, but they hurt an awful lot of kind, caring people. And while they act like they are always the victim, deep down they know it's them. That's why they always speak fondly of their ex's while simultaneously portray themselves as the victim.
You are so right thank you
They don’t care
Self sabatoge!!!! They screw themselves EVERY TIME!!!
If you're wondering about the inner workings of a person with narcissistic personality disorder, or cluster B personality disorders. I would look to Dr. Sam Vanikin. He himself is a Malignant Narcissist. He has studied himself and others. Once you understand the how and why of these types of people, you don't forgive them but you understand and pity them. It's a shallow and superficial existence. To quote Wesley Snipes from the first Blade movie, " Once you understand the nature of a thing, you know what it's capable of ". Educate yourself on these type of people because they are out here among us.
I literally can’t even wrap my brain around these people. It makes me extremely sad & angry at the same time.
😩He once told me "I need to have control" I finally came to the conclusion that I need to run for my life and sanity, I left, its been nearly 4 years now and he's still mad😔
My experience was that they became angry and plan revenge which means destroying of you.
Exactly! They think the world revolves around them. BULLSHIT!!!!!
Yes I know
Day 13 almost over, big milestone for me 2 weeks no contact. Struggles are real but holding it together.
Well done
It's almost one month no contact but did text for my stuff an he could have cared less talking about ill drop it off...30+ yrs ...my things so I can't even get my own stuff...thats all...no talking🚫 buy why❓️
Keep going on! You will get your energy back. You will feel hurt many times in this journey. But, I can only pray for your success. May 13 days become 13 months and then 13 years!!
I stopped a Narcissist by telling her that she needed psychological help.
That stopped her in her tracks, and she stopped talking to me.....
@blancamiranda778 I left my stuff, my mind and health was too important. Didn't care less. 16 days in, no contact. The roller coaster ride, odd feelings, strange behaviors was just too much to bare.
4.5 years and I’m a mess. My heart is broken because I’m realizing it wasn’t ever what I thought. I gave so much of myself and now I’m broken. Your videos are so comforting and helpful. Thank you ❤
I'm going thru the same thing
1:11 Dated 4 years. Married for 25 years to a narcissist. When I did leave I was a shell of myself. I didn’t know who I was anymore. Broken mentally, physically and emotionally. I cried every day. Didn’t sleep or eat for months. It took me 7 years to find some resemblance of life. I went to therapy. And back to school for a psychology degree. THIS is how I found my way back…Therapy. Getting educated on behavioral disorders. Self love. Setting boundaries and standing on them. I finally got my power back. I’m not interested in going through that again. I felt like the walking dead
I did thirteen years. It was all a facade. When he was gaslighting me and discarding me it was like he was an imposter. I had no idea who he was at that moment. He kept the mask on for thirteen years. Thank you God for getting me out of that.
@@Kal21083 Happy for your complete recovery!!!!!!
@@Kal21083Horrible that happened to you but what strength and will to get thru it.
11 months out… what a journey! Keep fighting through!
11 months for me too, i had to change my phone number and job in the end, been trying to move house also.
Wow.. Congrats.. 1 month for me
@@angelabyrne4384 i can relate with the job changes
1 month today of going no contact to my narc husband of 25 years! Finally! So thankful and grateful🙏God helped me found people like you anoushka😊❤
Keep going!
I stopped a Narcissist by telling her that she needed psychological help.
That stopped her in her tracks, and she stopped talking to me.....
I walked after one of my female narcissist rage moments. Then she twisted around and blamed me. She moved onto new supply within a week even though we had been together for two years. It’s totally mind blowing 🤯🤯
They treat you like you are the only thing that was wrong in the relationship. They talk down to you and have no ability to admit fault, ask forgiveness or forgive.
This part
Yeessss
They also accuse you of doing the very thing that they are in fact doing themselves.
They just move on to one of the other people they have access to. They alway have at least one person as back up. They don’t give you another thought until they alienate the current contact and may want to recycle you. We aren’t real to them. They disassociated as children.
You could tell when they're coming back for you as a consolation prize only. They might initially pretend otherwise, but whether it's open triangulation or them seem like they're being a bit insincere your gut, you can just tell it feels uncomfortable to your intuition, if you're me
14 years with my narcissist ex boyfriend. Didn't even know he was a narcissist until the end. There were signs I realize now, but I chose to overlook them. Not anymore, 3 months of no contact. I'm focusing on my healing. Praise God for revealing him to me.
Wow 14 years. I wonder what the turning point was.
I called him out on every lie he told me when he tried to hoover.then I blocked him every where.
Me too, but still miss him😔a week now
@@marie2928only a week. It takes time but focus on the truth he will NEVER be the man who will love and value. Life would just be chaos and stress. You deserve better.
“They don’t have the bandwidth “
I love that quote 💯🙌🏾
Syntax Error.... Memory dump.... Does not compute!!! Haha.
404 file not found ha
They don’t have the bandwidth means the ability or time to deal with a situation, especially one that involves a large amount of information or a number of problems:
In other words, they don't have the brains, haha :D
Dialup 😂
It's hysterical how at this stage they become very defensive , accusing you of being totally awkward or difficult , when all you are doing is being normal towards them 🤔😆
Having the ' knowledge ' is a real revelation and has completely changed the way I see other people !! It's as if suddenly your eyes are open again after being trapped in the dark for so long , and the best part is you can finally see YOURSELF once again 💪🙏❤️
Yes!!!! Mines has literally accused me of being impossible….. and all I’ve done is give up, stopped chasing and stopped talking 😂
My ex had me pretty well convinced I was the narcissist, but I was dancing to her tune, trying to do the things she told me she needed/wanted/expected, only to be bashed up the head with it as evidence of my weakness or failures.
M - They blame everything on us. Mine did too.
It's amazing how they can make things up to try to convince you that you did and said things that they actually did and said. They seem to have a deep down need to convince you that you are the bad person, that you are the one who did the very things that they, in fact did. It simply boggles the mind.
The absolute lies, manipulation, the cruelty is so damaging. they destroy your soul and then leave you gasping for life, but they've fucked your head so badly you don't understand what just happened. but then after you've begun to truly heal. in my case 6 years, they come back . and if you've chalked it up to just a shitty ending and still haven't worked out they're a narcissist you take them back and THIS time the break you completely 😢. to the point where you see absolutely no value in living anymore. because the pain they leave you with is indiscrable. it's on a soul level never experienced before and man it's hard to struggle through each day. is this life now??. I don't want it anymore
@@rogerwhoareyouyeah you hit the nail on the head on that one
I'm just learning about narcissism and man, this is really sad.
I'm learning about it too.. I swear, when I look up the definition of narcissist in the dictionary, that romantic interest's name is written in the sentence..😮
Absolutely spot-on. Going “no contact” was incredibly difficult for me as I worshipped her… but it was absolutely the best thing I did. Thanks to professional help with a Therapist I see things for how they really were… I was deluded by my person into thinking that I was the unreasonable one!
Yes that’s exactly what they do! They play on our love, use it to their advantage and play reverse mental games to keep us feeling beneath them. I woke up and shut him out my life for good! Amazing how everything has changed for the positive once I realized what he was doing. I feel so bad for the people that stay in the same cycle for 20 30 40 + years ! But it’s never to late ! Don’t think about that number think about your freedom and RUN! It’s Never to late to take back control of your life !!!! Good luck all !
Move forward yes all the best !
You're the normal one well.done
7 years and 2 children later. I have decided to leave...Listening to this definitely helps! Long journey ahead, but for the first time in the last 7 years I am able to be me again, whatever that person was like, I must find her again
A narcissist would only miss the chase for a narcissist's ego. A narcissist will never miss anyone.
Spot on
“ Remember you are too good and it’s gonna cost them too much “ 😅
I was with my malignant narc for almost 30 years and then left while he was away on yet another short work trip with his secret back burner supply. He never saw it coming.
I’m healing slowly but the real point I wanted to make was that when I look back I see that right from beginning he was always talking about when the relationship ended. As if he was always prepping himself for the day one of us would leave.
I realise that in my heart I knew he was never really committed like I was. He couldn’t attach like I did.
So I ask myself constantly why did he never go. He always threatened to leave and said he hated me and so forth but he NEVER left me.
They can't leave grade a supply the whole narc computer will malfunction because they feed off your traits and present to the world as if they are you if you go they won't have anybody stand up to imitate
Same
Wow. Same for me. 30 years. I am no longer angry or filled with hate, but I feel sorry for him. I know I have loved. He never did. Now I and the kids will heal.
Same
My Narcissistic husband used to tell me he was going to divorce me he stopped saying it when I told him to go head I say now well if you don’t like it do divorce me that shuts him up real quick. Soon I will leave with my daughter that’s 😂16 and wants nothing to do with him and my dog
Taking control, not looking back ,remove all emotional investment, they do smear campaign, loose interest
Ppl use as their personal objects with love bombing, taking without giving, done normal,lost game, it's never about us it's about their supply, I get my clearity I don't even need their explanation bcz I know they will never admit their mistake. They see us only supply
People do not understand what true NC is. Its mostly working on ourself. If we are strong enough we can contact narc but with no emotions.
Exactly 👍🍀but it takes time
God Bless You for all your Love and insight into these monsters!!!
Big , big hugs !!!
That's so true. My ex still speaks to all her ex lovers. She told me that. I really couldn't understand why but now I do. Thanks again.
They usually have abut few solid easy targets all the time on their social media or in group of friends or in work. They just chose the moment to suck them in situationship and play with new victim
They shotgun texts, hoping someone will bite
It's amazing how all their ex's still entertain them,did they not get the treatment we got,great anoushka tops again 🌹
Manipulation at its finest. I was that person for 3 years after a 8 year relationship. I finally got it and easily said goodbye
Some of them are like covens of vampires. They all feed
Empathy requires mindfulness...understanding it was never about you, but them--what you gave them, and not who you are. Embracing the unity of things radically is painful and scary from an empathetic perspective: realizing this person is totally not who you thought, you can tend to blame yourself for not seeing it--realizing that was just part of their game and you were merely an object can be a terrifying thing to encounter. It helps me to remember to be grateful that I have empathy and they don't, that it could be worse--you could be like them.
Yes, and I'm also thankful for all the good people in my life. The non narcissists.I just recently encountered a narcissist and it took me some time to realize and really have never experienced this before. But my eyes are open now.
Well done. Exactly
Thank you for this great video. Today is day 10 of no contact. Can't even imagine him trying to come back at this point. Nothing but a liar and a user!
All the best :)
Danielle Morse Good on you and you might be one of the lucky ones who doesn't get hoovered, which is a big compliment, IMHO! 😊
@@cyndigooch1162 Thank you. Day 22! He's hoovered in the past but this time feels pretty final. ☺️
He came back over 3 or 4 times.
This is before the last time when
I had a lightbulb moment.
He's a Narc!!
How can a narc act surprised though?! Once I realized full control over me STILL wasn’t enough… what is even the point. No one is willingly going to want their life destroyed and thrown away.
Been With One For 11 Yrs & Won’t Leave Me Alone! Using Our Kids To Say,”Why, He’s Sleeping On The Sofa.” Omg, It’s Been Hell!! 😊😂😢❤
I'm also not sure why they believe that they can take without giving back, and what is the relationship between how they were treated as children and taking from people. How does being objectified as child cause them to take from others? What they don't realize is that people will naturally give them validation, but they must adhere to "give and take" and not simply "take."
They are socially inept. I see it this way, in order to get love and validation from their parents/ carers they had to change to please them. Unfortunately they take it too far and shut down genuine connectivity with others as a means of self protection. Sad really sad
The ones I know took me for a fool and were just using petty tactics to get resources out of me. It was especially obvious with my old narc neighbor, they just don't care about people and always look for the next fool
The Key of narc trauma is “conditional” and “unconditional” love. Instead of getting pure unconditional love they have to earn love and that’s how they destroy ability to genuine connectivity.
My ex tried to hoover me back and I told her why I left (she cheated) and that I knew that she didn't care. No response. Your video helps me understand why. She is in a desperate situation. She may get evicted. Her expecting compassion for me now after what she did to me is laughable.
I stopped a Narcissist by telling her that she needed psychological help.
That stopped her in her tracks, and she stopped talking to me.....
Same here. Unbelievable ignorance.
What happens when you’re NOT a narc and you act towards them the way they do you? You don’t pay them any attention, emotions & don’t care what they do or say & they notice you’re not there like it used to be?
So i actually did that. I just repeated their behavior right back at them. First let me say, dont do it unless you are ready for them to lose it! They went absolutely insane and filed a court case against me.
Ill never forget what they said tho, “Stop doing to me what i do to you”
Thats when i knew all the abuse was indeed intentional!
What your describing is no contact and if your really healed then you wouldn't care.
They leave quickly like they don't know you...Go back to back burner narc supply that's he keeps in hiding
When I've done the same thing, he's always gotten upset and blamed me for his behavior and projected. When he's gone quiet, so have I. It normally lasts 5 months then he reappears. He just disappeared again but I'm not going around the tree this time. He's going to find out the hard way.
Whitney….I don’t! It just took me awhile to be who I’m not and he CAN’T STAND IT
They try to destroy u
You and anybody connected to you, who they consider a threat in some way. They can't stand it when somebody has something that they wish they had.
Yes, because they can be delusional and live in a world of their own, and when you don't respond to them the way THEY WANT YOU TO, then all of sudden you're the one with the problem BECAUSE they don't want their little fantasy that they created in their delusional mind to be destroyed, therefore they have to do whatever it takes to make it reality because they embarrassed the hell out of themselves. They don't care who they hurt because they're only out of themselves.
Sad but true.
They don't like the truth and they love gossip, especially if they can make up false facts. Thank you for your video's. My co worker's will never grow up. Ever!
That anger is relentless be safe. .Thank you
You’re right! The power is with me and I’ll never relinquish it.
I’m trying to focus on that right now….. things might be a bit of a mess in my life, but the one thing I can do is hold onto my power within my own life👌
I stopped a Narcissist by telling her that she needed psychological help.
That stopped her in her tracks, and she stopped talking to me.....
When my narcissist boss realized my resignation wasn't a threat....
but an actual reality....
he literally crapped he's draws
💩💩💩
This is great info for someone who is still trying to get away from a narcissist but for those who have finally broke free and left the last thing you should do is still worry about what the narcissist is thinking
YAYYYYY power to me, for being strong. What would you go back to? More abuse, no way.
They’re too lacking in self awareness to explain themselves or offer closure. That deep lacking of consciousness is only to be pitied, and superficially at best. Walk on in the knowledge that you’ve created space for something better in your life.
So true..when I called him out on a lie..I was told ..he's tired of my questioning..no more contact..just like that..
I love mine still care deeply for her and care what happens to her!but let me assure all I would never let that evil be in any part of my life ever again. We always must forgive others what they have done to us in order to be totally free from all of it
I was with mine for 20 years. Played every single trick on me and chose to look the other way. Hate for her doesn’t touch the surface. Horrible human being. Good luck to her next victim. No forgiveness here
Like my ex narc GF that spent 10 months with. All the lies and constant drama. I ended things and two days later she was seen by two friends on tinder yet has spent months leaving me voicemails about me being her soulmate and her forever person. Liars is all they are.
Keep exposing them publicly.
I was with my narcissists husband for 35 years .
I exposed him in public in our Christian Church.
They get so upset when you hold them accountable.
But when you take back the power and control,
They run like road runner.
They know that you have figured them out.
@@jonathanomahony688 The narcisist is a stranger in Ottawa married to a women who goes along with his stalking me. He targeted me on Facebook. I would never be with a narcisist. Most of my past relationships were with men that truly respect women. This is forced abuse through cyberstalking. A police report was filed.
My Ex Narc has been covert hoovering.
Every # I block.
Don't want IT Back!!
I'm Gray Rocking an OCPD manager and your video is spot on. They are cycling rapidly between anxious hoovering and panicked projections, all without any change in reaction in me. They have been latching onto anyone they can to micromanage, even our clients, interns, and people that don't report to them in our office, and they are LOSING everyone after 8 years of demonstrating their problematic lack of real leadership. We Gray Rock and give him all the rope he wants without attaching that rope to us. It is very sad, to be honest, but his unquenchable and relentless need to force everyone into moving backwards has been traumatic to all of us. We are all still here, but it's over inside me. I am beyond bored with it. I'm in therapy, on meds, saving money, easy to get a long with, and great at what I do and people notice... and it has driven him crazy since day one and that isn't my problem. He could have led with respect and care, instead of ladder climbing. I need no validation from anyone. I love myself and I'm not looking to anyone else for approval now.
As soon as I started reflecting back on them. Gone! Does not want to see his true reflection. 🤣🤣🤣
I want to thank you for your video. I am in the process right now of leaving a 28 year marriage with a narcissist/ toxic wife. It have given me more strength and confidence that I am doing the right thing. I have to keep moving forward and know this is the best for me, and this is the first time in many many years I am putting myself first.
Best of luck buddy
@Michael King you can do it
@@Charm5073 Thanks
I stopped a Narcissist by telling her that she needed psychological help.
That stopped her in her tracks, and she stopped talking to me.....
😂🤣😂@@bl1429
Block, delete, move on! All that wasted energy..... When we live our best lives, none of this matters anymore. I actually feel bad imagining what it must be like to be a narc. That lasts a brief moment, then it's off to do something interesting! I hope everyone has a great day. 😎👌
My ex nark, her ex would call all drunk and abusive she wouldn't hang up she seemed to like it. It all makes sense now.
They often do not care that much. They do not attach emotionaly so for them its pretty easy to forget fast. They csn be litte angry that they do some mistakes but more often all that was planed. So they move with their script.
Not true if they are not super rich life is not do easy to get others this is a lie they tell nobody want them they wouldn't never contact you after if they was so solid ..the truth is nobody wants them ..
I wish I knew a way to stop loving and desiring someone who has been treating me this way for nearly 8 years now. Everytime I stop contact and feel I am done with her, after weeks or months have past I find myself craving her and the good times I know will last only a few days at best before she starts gaslighting me and degrading me. I start feeling sorry for her and tell myself it's not her fault but the abuse she endured from her father and stepmother growing up.
Ty for this
He discarded me last year told me he didn't want my number anymore so without even knowing what it wax I was doing I gave him what he wanted
I bought a brand new phone new number
He discarded me so I discarded his number he tried to Hoover me on Christmas by talking to my daughter he asked her how I was doing knowing he doesn't care about that. This is him trying to get info on me my daughter told him that I wasx fine
Then he asked if I was coming to church my daughter told him no he knows that I am not coming back he moved across town ty God
They really realise when the cost/save dynamic is no longer in their favour, they know when to give up on the game they've been playing with you, and disappear. Without regret or emotion. It's a very callous decision on 100% self preservation, at that point ALL pretend false emotion for you is cut off!!
Nearly 6 months of no contact 😊 Thanks for your inspiration Anouska
She knows I was too difficult to control, why I left, and then she discarded me. I'm almost 2 months into NC. I hope her life is a living hell, the same hell she put me through for years and years and years. I've taken my power back. No more.
Breath of fresh air when they have gone 😁
Now I understand why I was ghosted and then the repeated cycle of him returning.
I am glad he have someone else cause I definitely don't want him back that's why I left
I fell for a narcissist's act. Trying to get her to leave was frustrating. She threatened terrible retribution. She never seemed happy and everything I did was wrong. She was jealous of my friends, violent and superior. We did break up a few times. Then she got cancer and continued to be mean. Still I looked after her post a major operation. When she was back on her feet, she finally admitted she was miserable at my house ... I asked her to take a break with friends a few hours away, to see if she felt better there. She clearly was... and after a few weeks I asked her to go on a holiday with me and she refused so I asked her if I could take someone else. She said that was ok so I took a friend. Nothing happened that weekend, we are old friends and I wanted to keep it that way. She didn't trust me, when I got home all her things were moved out and a friendship ring was left with no message on the counter.
Since then I've had two gorgeous girlfriends but those relationships broke down really quickly
I feel really deeply broken and doomed forever.
This is my situation. 😥😢
It may have been a blessing in disguise.😇
Really sorry rht happened to you. I know u will heal in due time. Perhaps take time for urself and focus on ur growth and things tht bring u joy in ur life. Or discover new things
She had been using you. You are not alone. Mine too. Just because someone she just met adore her, she jumped ship and abandoned our 4.5 years relationship and marriage. They dont deserve what we got so let them away, they will never happy
@@kigzman1745 Thoughts and Prayers. 🌹💔🙏💔🙏❤️Yxx
Your first mistake was stating that she was superior. She was never superior to you. Don't ever say that again. It is also not too late for you. Just improve yourself and seek out good and not evil. You will be blessed with a good woman when you seek her out and she will appreciate and respect you.
The believe that they'll have to change in order to win you back. Change is not easily achieved by the narc.
I literally just got off the phone with my ex-wife narc. I've blocked her everywhere but can't block her office land line. I knew it was her, it happens every few weeks or so, and sometimes, I just can't resist the temptation to answer the phone just to see what she has to say. Always wanting to talk, but since I know who she really is, and I know who I am in Christ Jesus, all I have to do is ask her annoy 1 of the many things she did while we were together, she then lies(yet again) I laugh at her, tell her I'm sorry that she can't admit the truth, then I hang up. I'm sure she'll call again in a few weeks, but I am completely free of her spell, so it's all good. I wish it could be so for everyone else. Peace and love to all....
When he gave me silent treatment, I cried but didn't express my sadness to him. When he lied with me and cheated on me , I cried but didn't show my tears . I went no contact . When he come back somehow, and said sorry I didn't believe. I exposed him on public. I lied him too, I promised him to love him and then discard him intentionally. Because the amount of pain and sorrow he gave me I can't forgive him in my whole life. Now I am in no contact again.
Am I wrong
Did I do any mistake ?
no mistake it was deserved after what he did to you,,,my ex gf narc hurt me deeply but i didnt show it in front of her even when she brought her new supply around and flaunted it in my face,,,but inside my heart was bleeding,,i went no contact and focused on myself,,,,she is mad because i wont forgive and take her back,,,how messed up is that when she already has a new bf,,,,smh,,,you are not alone,,,i am a survivor
I was replaced straight away
The ex narc knew I figured him out after I took him back post divorce. He had nothing to offer, aged horribly and had a “ limp noodle”due to diabetes. I am the last person he wants back.🤣🤣🤣
HA HA HA limp noodle) yes, my narc too after cheating on me last year just before he had his prostate removed due to PROSTATE CANCER! by using blue 💊 pills viagra and his supply harem garage he did his rounds and i was none the wiser until 5 months ago, when i caught him texting in the bathroom instead of PEEING…. yep, i confronted him and low and behold, he had some chick in his cellphone UNDER A MAN name! but, hey it’s all so innocent! so, I loved him and didn’t care about limp noodle prostate cancer NARC…until now. I LET HIM GO! he is almost 73. I’m 8 years younger & I was a genuine person and he is a total FAKE, fake Christian and fake everything. I hope he lives the rest of his life ALONE. what a sad excuse for a person. FAKE FAKE FAKE liar liar liar Wash, Rinse, and repeat. What a pitiful life he is.
😀😀😀😀😀👏👏👏👏👏👍👍👍👍👍👍
Thanks for the support
Bam !!!!!
Love that " limp noodle". I experienced the same "affliction " in my narc. 😅😅
This is interesting.
I’m not a narcissist at all; however I ended up seeking her out initially before I realized and discovered that I was emotionally trauma bonded to the toxic narcissist in my life.
Why are the symptoms you described here for what the narcissist experiences, so similar to the same experience the non-narcissist has for the narcissist when the narcissist suddenly vacates the relationship.
My toxic abusive narcissist left me abruptly by way of brutal smear campaign through weaponizing her cancer scare. Left me isolated and alone.
You described what the non-narcissist experiences as well; he or she seeks out the narcissist initially because they think they made a mistake…..
The emotional withdrawal is excruciating at times and one ends up believing he or she misses the narcissist.
Its actually that they got use to the toxic behavior and it became a norm; what I realized. One does not miss the narcissist, but rather the connection to “HOPE FOR THINGS TO GET BETTER.”🤔
Most victims will end up adopting covert narcissistic traits from their narcissist due to long exposure so it's normal for you to feel those symptoms even though you're not a narc. Get some healing and avoid all narcs in your life.
@risingeagle6332 - You are so right. In a relationship with a narc, hope keeps you trapped; hopelessness sets you free. Best wishes for a great narc-free life!
They are weird they think they own you... mine would say things that were bizarre like it was normal and it would intrigue you... and make you want them again
Honestly no contact floors them when you no you go NO CONTACT
Hey friends! I love it how I see my narc recycling the same people he pines for. He so dumb that he does not realize that when he blocked me; he can’t see me anymore. Lol. I was so sad over the break up and hurt by friends that bought into his lies about me. I hurt for these monkeys but now I am indifferent. Not my circus, not my monkeys. Buh Bye. Thank you Anoushka. Love your explanations.
They never really care about you, it's just games, games, games, and one day, you just say to yourself - sod this!!!!! Walk away and save yourself the pain and stress, why on earth would you want to be around an emotional vampire all the time? They just want to suck you dry.
Thank you.
Well actually they don't like it when you are moving on. They can't have this. It was always alright to them to ignore you, scour other girls etc but when you do it they feel that power switch and they're trying to get it back. They don't like feeling powerless. They feel they have to try and restore the balance back to them so that explains why they're going crazy by stalking you, blowing up your phone or god knows what else. Not being in the position of power over you makes them more crazier and then that unfortunately does come with other problems but knowing that they can't influence you it drives their tiny minds mad
THIS.
Going back is always the option in their mind when other options don’t work out……but you say to yourself NOOOO!!!!
I had to call police he hit me then tried to choke me. Now Iam in limbo . I do not want to go back. We had 9 years of this.
They hoover and level up but still obviously don't change. The narc thinks he will find a NEW supply and cheat on us while we already left the situation. Then the narcissist will triangulate and try to act like a princess and still try to make You chase him😂
I doubt mine will ever try because I saw through all his bs, called out his abuse and have made it clear I will never speak to him again - only through a third party like a lawyer.
Key word: transactional!
They also like predicting your behavioural styles so they know if they do one thing it makes you mad (and angry women unfortunately tend to come across as off their heads) so if they can say my ex is off her head they'll get believed. They study us. This is why being able to predict our behavioural patterns, our emotions, gives them the feeling of being in control. They don't like someone who's a little more spontaneous, some one who they can't control!!! They take great pleasure at being able to influence us!! If they know that you are more sympathetic to their problems there's a good chance you'll be that way again and not shut a door in their face. Not like, you brought this on yourself mate I'm not going through this again. I've been around those types of people before. If I truly believe someone is a victim I'll put my arms around them and they'll get my full support and I would help them get back on their feet (as much as I could possibly do) but if I know they've caused a lot of it because I knew they were just as horrible as the other person, not so much.
It could just be me but I personally believe if you're someone who grew up in an abusive Environment, the chances of the narcissist breaking you apart is slimmer. I say this because, I grew up in an abusive household, and whilst I was with my "ex", regardless of how many times she did me wrong...when I left her, I did not feel as though any long lasting damage was done. I literally told her, "it will take me about two hours to process all of this and I'm good. Ive been through worse things in my life that it won't effect me at all". And that's exactly what happened. I felt emotional about it that night and the next day, It's as if she barely existed.
Harun Daniel, I agree with you. They also become narcissistic when they are raised as SPOILED BRATS. I say this because mine was pampered, he received anything he asked for, and went into a tyraid when he was refused. His parents "gave in" to him. His mother washed his clothes, folded them, and put them away. I could go on. You take care of you. By the way, I was with him for 5 years, and this was 11.8 years ago.
@@jannlewandowski5540 I can also see that. I'm really confused with my ex...she said she had a bad relationship with her mother yet it was her mothers side of the family which showered her with love and affection growing up. Her interaction with her mum were not that bad also...So I really don't know how she ended up becoming a narcissist. And more importantly why she doesn't seek help. She knows she's a narc but continues with her poor behaviour. If it was me, i'd be trying to improve myself immediately.
I agree I went through a lot growing up. I'm so strong now that when the narcissist hurt me, I was able to get rid of the pain fast.
They may not reach out to you directly but to others around you constantly to keep tabs on you
Almost 24 months post narc. This is an excellent, explanation!!! Thank u!!!
Well done!!
Two months here.
Super well done you should be very proud of yourself.
Take care and plenty of self love and respect ❤❤❤❤
@@jonathanomahony688 thank u!!!!!
It is okay for her to go no contact, she know where I am. I am no object to anyone. She is an adult no more a child maybe in her mind. She think that I don’t know how she think. It is over as such will never get any supplies from me never again.
Thanks so much for the above narration! Bye for now!!!
I just told my narsassist mother that I can't forgive her for the terrible way she has treated me. I told her I don't want to connect with her again.
I told him there is no attraction left because he killed it , yeh "I'm not attracted to your rubbish energy" That stopped him stalking
I tried to leave my covert narcissistic husband 5 years ago. But he would hoover me in. But back then I was not in therapy, did not know I had a covert narcissistic spouse. Then I became educated and realized how emotionally abused I was. I caught him in lies, realized exactly how much he was gaslighting me. He always had excuses, was lazy I never felt I knew who he really was and felt I could never trust him. Mind you, I have been married to this dude for 14 years. I have learned to set boundaries. Stood my ground. I have gone no contact. I am happier, feel myself, genuine, more confident, no anxiety, no body aches. My therapist told me welcome back!
Bravo! Congratulations.
They get even more angry and mean