Worst Self Defense Videos Of All Time | Jacksepticeye's Funniest Home Videos
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- Опубликовано: 29 апр 2024
- These are the worst self defense videos of all time
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Edited By: / @aliceandchill 
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"Cause what's worse than getting shot once is getting shot twice."
--Dale, Self Defense Dude
I wonder if the same applies for stab wounds, I hope Dale has a video on that too /s
@@groofay teeth
I mean, It would make sense if it was something like "take that guy with you" instead of something stupid like "getting shot twice"
Right 😂
Imagine if "self defense dude" was an actual title... 😂
The fact that Charlie and Sean both *INSTANTLY* called the keychain a buttplug is hilarious to me
it is though
im pretty sure daz watched it too and he mentioned the key chain being one also lol
I was gifted one of those keychain butt plugs and I also call it a keychain butt plug 🤣
There's a reason I keep it in my bag and not on my keychain.
@@Zapporah85 well emergencies comes in all forms. hope it can save you some day.
Btw, that buttplug weapon was invented by a japanese
I had a self defense teacher who would always say “no matter what, always remember that your most useful and important move is this -“ and then he would run away
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@CommanderLance9909 LAUGH
That seems like an awesome technique 😂😂😂
he's not wrong.
@@bobbybrewer1482 true
When jack was talking about how the ‘hands were never meant to hold anything’ I was expecting him to full on drop the mic like, “oh no! Guess my hands don’t work” 😂
I'm convinced Dale is some sort of immortal neanderthal which is why he keeps saying "the hand is not meant to hold anything" and he's trying to blend in with human society
Dale: “you don’t want to hurt them”
Dale 10 seconds later: “and smash their skull into the wall”
that won't hurt, that will *kill*
He said if you don't want to hurt them homie
The main question in all of this is. Why does he have a Bluetooth headset on the entire time he is doing the "self defense" video?
Jesus christ this comment is full of fucking bots
To assert dominance
Getting tactical info
these bots are getting wild tf
@@jacksepticeye Hi Jack, I reported all the bots so they should be gone, I'm sorry you had to see those bots say that. And I absolutely love your content especially MEME TIME. You are just so hilarious
The moral theme of this series is: “Laughter really is the best medicine.”
Not doing things that will definitely get you shot immediately is pretty good medicine too. Thank you Sean!
Jack: “I really hope a child doesn’t know what a gun is.”
Nerf: “Too late!”
In 2023!? Oh well uhh theres hospital shootings now….yea…kids know what guns are. Were all ducked
Elmer Fudd since 1940: "Too late!"
Dale: The Hand is NOT made to hold things very well
Sean: And i took that personally.
Gamers also take it personally.. i think
this is actually a real technique that works pretty well and i have used it before, but its explained and shown really badly
That statement is blatantly stupid and proven wrong by basic biology
"R A M I T I N H I M, D A L E ! !"
Makes me belt out loud, every time.
Best moment of the video
Sean making us listen to his heart beat was a lot more intimate than expected
You know, a cop instructed us on how to easily survive dangerous encounters with people armed with a knife.
In the video he introduced his friend who will be trying to hurt him. They then both stood not too far apart and the guy with the knife started running at him. The dude books it in the opposite direction making as much noise as possible
Foolproof.
Yeah if I’m about to be stabbed I’m running. Idc if I have a knife too. First way to defend yourselves in almost any situation is leave. Now if I had a gun I’m robbing him lol. Pull a knife on me you fuck lol.
@@mariepayann to bad it isnt moron proof
😭🤣I see that as accurate and true
DONT BULLSHIT. By the time you turnback and start running, the guy will be stabbing you in the lungs.
Jack: "I really hope a child doesn't know what a gun is"
Me as a 5-year-old: *doing intruder drills every 4 weeks so we know where to hide*
thats so sad that u have to do something like that...
Yeah we’ve been doing lockdowns since 6 do you guys not have them?
I def dont remember doing that many as a kid....what part of US?
My cousin almost shot his mom with a gun bcs he was playing with it,he was 4
@@TheJack-o-King which is why you're "supposed" to keep weapons and dangerous chemicals AWAY from children but unfortuately what supposed to be done and whats actually done is completely different.
Sean: "Kids shouldn't know what guns are"
Kids: "It's Nerf or nothing"
Kids shouldn't know what guns are
Meanwhile, 8 year old Jeffy playing Fortnite, Call of Duty, and occasionally surfing the internet on his smart phone- specifically located somewhere in a privileged american area;
"Go away mom am not do chore, am get Killstreak on Halo Infinite"
Gets grounded, then proceeds to still use phone to look up Rust player trap tutorials so they can torture some rando later in their virtual sex dungeon.
@@grodygibsonlcd8038 damn
@@grodygibsonlcd8038 there was a lot of effort put into that scenario, either that's first hand experience or you're just very creative. Either way I applaud you
at least every american kid picking up a stick: its a gun
@@ClaytonBridges no bc it’s a gun knife or sword depends what it’s shaped like
The thing that made me the most confused was Dale casually grabbing a gun after getting shot.
*_You can't recover that easily from a bullet to the chest._*
It's like getting kicked in the balls: You're going to be down and out of it immediately and for a while.
Except a kick to the balls isn’t always going to drop someone, but a bullet to the lungs definitely will😅
like South Park: The Stick Of Truth, you get stunned
JSE: "Kids don't know what guns are"
Me, remembering being in first grade practicing an active shooter drill: "yeah, they have no clue what they are"
In America, sadly we know
Jesus Christ, America is a Hellhole.
Jack using a microphone like that makes him look like he’s about to drop the hottest mix tape and I’m hyped for it
That intro was already bombin’
Like a watered down, Irish Eminem.
I thought his name was Sean or Shawn
@@Scankarl it is Sean the community just calls him jack cause of his RUclips name
Honestly w the top of morning sign it looks like a old school comedy club, I think that was the gag.
I love how all of these are actual proper self-defence techniques, they’re just terribly explained
Right? And some of them require a *lot* of practice and precision, which he just.... doesn't mention.
That actually kinda bothered me. Sean is shitting on these methods like they're bad advice. Someone hasn't grown up in a bad area with a lot of muggings. Some of these are self defense 101. And yeah...hands AREN'T good at holding things. The only good thing about hands are the thumbs, without that any grip strength is gone, palm is just open space.
Thank you for saying this. I'm glad I found someone who sees this like that. A lot of it is practicing it. I do hapkido and we have done some similar things to strip the gun. It might look dumb but in a situation like that, what else are you gonna do.
The method of getting your arm out of a double-handed grip is taught in my 5yo's taekwondo class...
So true!!! I've learned a few of these in my martial arts class and while they're legit, they're not easy to pull off without a lot of practice and timing. Honestly, even with practice in some situations I wouldn't feel confident enough to risk my life to try to pull one of them off. Not easy or simple self defense that anyone can just try.
I’ve never seen these self defense videos before, but this just looks like re-enactments of the fantasies you have in the shower of how you would handle these situations
the one where dale is trying to escape the other guys hold, that one is actually jiu jitsu and it works, he did it wrong tho
Jack: "Kids shouldn't know what a gun is."
USA public education system:...
I had a gun safety course at my hill billy school
When I moved to Japan all the kids wanted to know about shooting guns in the desert like I was an alien.
Laughs in American
Better than getting hurt or killed because they didn't know what a gun is.
Like, "Oh, I wonder what this thing does." *Pulls trigger while pointed in an unsafe direction
Kid: what does this thing do? **Dies**
I laughed SO HARD when Sean said “I hope a child doesn’t know what a gun is!” As an elementary school teacher in America, they do…. They do 😂😅
Yeeaaah. It's really unfortunate, but they definitely do.
*cries in American*
@@runeseaks it's not unfortunate at all lol, it's good for young ones to be taught at a young age, especially if they are the hunting type
@@malachiwilt3891 I more so had the school shootings and drills in mind, and the trauma therein.
@@malachiwilt3891 So you haven't had to sit through the elementary school training as a four year old being told "if there is an active school shooter cover yourself in the blood of your shot schoolmate next to you and play dead" huh?
One day he will drop the microphone by laughing so hard haha
After all, our hands aren't good at holding things
Honestly the blues tabby one (I forgot what it’s called) is actually used in some martial arts for attacking pressure points and the one where he just pulls his arm from buff man actually works because he is pulling upwards against the thumbs which are the weakest parts of the attackers grip. He did word these both VERY incorrectly but these two actually had some truth.
Edit: Also some of the leverage ones work but there are still much much better ways to go about it.
Jack: *Top Of The Morning Coffee is sponsoring this video*
Doc Ock: *"It's self-sustaining now."*
This is funny
Advertising his brand to his channel
these mfing bots bro
@Christofer Pezet ratio
@@nemotheemo156 ik
Jack: actually I really hope a child doesn’t know what a gun is…
American: hold my beer
wtf
@@seleneriddle977 Just report it
Chitty chitty bang b a n g !
@@kito1682 I also reported it. Wtf was that shit
hold my gun
“The whole point of having a gun is that you shoot things from a distance”
Depends on the gun. Very few people are proficient enough with a handgun that they can accurately hit a target at more than maybe 15-20 yards, forget about them hitting a moving target at nearly any range. And the shorter the barrel, the less accurate it is.
This is true, which is why going to the range and practicing is very important, and also hitting moving targets with a anything that isnt bird or buck shot is very hard, unless theyre moving towards you.
I feel like we don't see Sean get angry very often, but when it happens it's glorious.
Jack holding the mic and waving his other hand around saying “HAND! … is NOT meant to hold things very well” is giving me like church preacher vibes lmao
Gospel of the hand.
How hand work, and tips and tricks you didn't know about hand!
Did you know that hand can't actually hold thing well? Not good for resisting dale's subsonic movement. Only good for smashing words together for shitpost.
What you didn't know is that human targets, specifically *hand,* is 50-75% weaker against opponents that use the fist of Detroit Dale. Those who've mastered the way of dale ignore armor against untrained opponents, and reaction time is decreased by a full 30% when up against dale masters.
Dale himself can pick-pocket your inventory while in combat, hence how he can easily remove a gun from almost anyone's hands!
Downside- Dale and any one of his disciples are also 30-50% weaker when up against trained fighters, and approximately 99.999% weaker against combat experts!
10:55 PFFFT I fully see what you mean now lmao
It's like one of those churches where everyone is either staring at the Priest in complete fear or awe, or they're cheering and screaming "YEAH! PRAISE JESUS! AMEN!"
@@grodygibsonlcd8038 LMAOOOOO
Dale: "You don't wanna hurt them."
Also Dale: "Smash their fucking skull"
@Beast 😈 to whoever this suit, ya'll need to stop protecting your issues into other ppl.
8:53 - How fricking massive is Dale's smartwatch?! That thing would work as a weapon on its own! 😂
The blue keychain is called a Kubaton. It's essentially a last case scenario for self defense, but it actually is a self defense tool.
If someone is trying to rob you, just say no. They can’t legally rob you without your consent.
lol
I find drinking water solves most of my problems. Maybe they need to drink more water
@@obiependragon9660 Is that why I have so many problems in life hmm might want to increase my water intake from 3 gallons of water a year to 4.
If I was going to rob someone, it would probilly go something like this
taps guy/girl on shoulder: "Hey! I'm going to steal your wallet and use it to buy video games. Is that ok?"
Guy/girl response: "Ummm.....nooo"
my response: "Ok.....I'll just go home and try to find another source of income"
Then just walk off XD
Beat comment so far
Jack talking about "No, back off, my child" gave me the same energy of "Swiper no swiping" and I don't know how to feel about that.
It's hilarious and you know it. I bet you see in colors and think and feel in memes like I do
Now that you mention it...
@@sum1zdad292 correct
DAMMIT I JUST COMMENTED THE SAME THING
I was thinking the exact same thing lmao
Just imagine getting mugged and smashing the attacker in the face with every blunt object in your pocket
*The hand is not meant to hold anything very well.*
-Dale, Self-Defense Dude
Jack: *I hope a child doesn’t know what a gun is.*
Every 9 year old playing GTA Online: *Am I a joke to you?*
*Every 9 year old living in America
Wrong kids don’t play gta online they play fortnite
When I was young I used to play bbguns or water guns or nerf guns
Kids should learn gun safety at a young age
@@baconlovingvampire4523 Kids dont understand how dangerous something is unless they fuck up and find out themselves, no matter how many times you tell'em. So no, don't teach your kid to use your gun.
I like how Dale or whatever his name is said “you don’t want to hurt them” but shortly after he stuck his fingers in the other guys eyes and falcon punched him in the throat and stomped his knees in.
Hands down the best things for self defense:
1.)Cardio
2.)Situational awareness
3.)Mace or pepper spray
4.)Not trying any of Dale's BS, ESPECIALLY if they have a firearm
6:44 The tapping his leg is to let the person showing the action know that 'that's enough', in karate it's used when you are training so you stop when the person does it. If they aren't able to react and say it. Kinda like a safe word.
Jack: I hope a child doesn't know what a gun is
Schools: *laughs in active shooter drills*
If that isn’t a sign that something is clearly wrong then I don’t know what is
Why is nobody getting "awe" by the fact that Jack literally created a TV show, like a proper host with mic, clips, intro and the best commentary.
As far as I remember in his first "LAUGH" video he actually said that he remembered such shows and wanted to create something like it.
He DID IT! OUR BOY MADE IT!
It truly is a beautiful thing when an aspiring content creator sets out and fulfills the things they dream of doing.
I genuinely want him to have a TV show so bad. He’s always a step closer 😭
@your local fossil that escaped the retirement home yah its annoyance on a whole new level
That one thing was just to see if you're really being followed by a car. I love that he gave actual advice and said "pull into the nearest police station" instead of "jump out of the car and push his thumb because the hand isn't made to hold things well"
This intro to the video (the song) needs to be in every funniest home videos
Sean: "I hope a child doesn't know what a gun is."
Me: *laughs in American*
Being an American myself, I can completely relate to this statement.
You didn’t shoot your first firearm at 3?
As an American 14 year old who owns a shotgun, I agree with this statement.
Same.
@@raiden7293 probably more you’re parents or relatives as you have to be 18 In Every state to own a long gun and 21 in most for pistols.
to be fair, the "trick" of self defense, from 10:23 - 10:51, is literally what we were taught in karate to do (and taught little kids to do). it's not that the hand isn't meant for holding things, it's that the thumb is the weakest part of the hand/grip, so you utilize that weak point to break the grasp. if you pull against the fingers, you will NOT get loose. but if you pull back suddenly, especially with two hands clasped together, against the thumb, you can break the grip on you and you can flee.
i've had male 5th degree black belts grab my wrist(s) with their whole strength, and I (a girl and a blue belt) was able to break free from their grasp by pulling against the thumb. we would surprise the kids we were teaching (literally 5 year olds) by grabbing their wrist and trying to drag them with us, and they had to get free. and obviously I wasn't gripping hard enough to hurt them, but I made sure that it was a challenge to break free. and 95% of the kids were able to break free in mere seconds. the other 5% just needed reminding to pull against the thumb, not the fingers, and then they got it in seconds too.
so yeah, most of the jokes about how the hand isn't meant to hold things is sorta true sorta false. it's just better phrased as "the thumb is the weakest point of the hand, so utilize that to break free"
just my long rant about self defense lol
Shouldn’t the pinky finger be the weakest it’s super little and there is not much nerves in that pinky to be strong cause it’s little
@@vaporishbell957 by itself, yes the pinky is weak. However when someone is grabbing you, they are using all their fingers, so the pinky is just added strength. When the pinky is combined with the other fingers, you can't break free against the fingers, even if the weak pinky is involved. It's kinda like math. Would you rather go up against one person (the thumb) or four people (the fingers)?
@@Riverspirit86 I learned it the same way and it does work very well. They really could have explained it better because that is a legitimate skill to escape.
@@patrickmorrey8722 Oh I agree completely. Definitely a good escape tactic, definitely a horrible way at explaining it lol
I learned to spin my wrist towards the thumb
If Dale was an actual DLC Smash character, I'd absolutely buy that lol
Jack: If the guy's got a gun I'm not going to just grab the barrel!!
Dale: By putting your hand over the barrel you can prevent the gun from firing.
I can’t express how happy the consistent reaction uploads make me. Maybe I’m easy to please with low effort videos, but just watching Jack react to funny things is always so entertaining
We love him so much. He's such a bright light in our lives
Easy to please with low effort, noted.
You people are fuckin g twisted
It's his L A U G H, it's like sunshine on a rainy day
@@rinyx2437 What do you mean?
Also why are there so many hateful bots? Not you. I mean the slew of comments around yours. The ones about his dad.
Jack: puts microphone on his chest so we can hear his heart beat.
Me: Well, I didn't know we were going to get this intimate today.
Just what I needed! The experience of resting my head against Jack's chest! 😂
*Cardiophiles have entered the chat*🤣
@ɪ ᴀᴍ ɪɴꜱᴛᴀɢʀᴀᴍʙʙ x4 lol do not have better things to do
Lol so true 😂
@@JackyWacke Report and do not engage, engagement prevents faster banning I'm pretty sure.
10:47
That actually works and we are taught that at the academy. When we do live action scenarios where we are geared up in protection gear and go all out, those grab techniques work ahha
As a martial artist specialising in self-defence, this hurt me in many ways.
Dale: Explains how not to die…
Jack: “RAM IT IN HIM DALE!!!”
The "death buttplug" is the weapon that killed me making me laugh to death
The stuff where Dale was talking about the thumbs when they grab your arm or wrist does in fact work and it’s taught in Jiu-Jitsu and yes it works since it puts them in an awkward and somewhat painful position it forces them to let go it doesn’t matter how strong or good of a grip they have as long as you do it properly.
Absolute banger of a laugh intro expecting a new single coming soon😂 ( 1:20 )
Charlie's video with Dale is worth a watch. He actually went deeper into the techniques and when to actually use these. He also conceded that these aren't 100% effective, but could improve your chances in certain situations.
finally someone said it. i love how people watch shit and judge it without looking further into it -_-
@@sawetneb7322 okay i agree with you, but in fairness, some of the shit says is just wild
Rory here's the thing every thing he says makes sense you are using gravity and physics to your advantage that's the point
yes but actually no, every one of his videos will in fact get you killed if you tried to apply them in a real situation.
@@tukuiPat can you explain further?
After watching Charlie and his crew meet with Dale, I'd be more inclined to believe that these might work. I think Dale's downfall is that he doesn't explain these are last ditch efforts if you know you're gonna die
This need more likes
He’s said it a few times but not enough. These aren’t l tools to provoke deadly situations. This is to give you a better chance of getting home when the attacker wants to kill you. If you do nothing you’re dead so you have realistic techniques to get you not shot, or if you’re shot not fatally. Dale is a bit of a dick from some of his interviews so he doesn’t explain it. But they are very practical
I have been trained in self defense and most of these ways are correct and to see Jack lolygagging saying they wouldn’t work, just hurts me
@@invest-i-gator8896 as someone who grew up heavily emphasizing gun safety. Seeing Jack talk about guns so blatantly wrong was infuriating. It’s just clear to me who’s been in fights and who hasn’t. Cause when you’re in fights you’re like “oh yeah that hand to the nose thing works, hard to fight back when your eyes are watering” but in all reality. The self defense guy is a dick. And he does a shitty job at explaining why because he’s like fuck you I don’t owe you an explanation
Dale os also trained. A regular person who hasn't been in these situations or hasn't been in real rough areas like Detroit wouldn't be able to execute these moves.
In his defense of "the hand isn't designed to hold stuff well", the hand would look like a crab's claw or an alligator's mouth if it was designed to "hold stuff very well". That's why stuff can be taken and slipped and twisted from your grip all the time.
The only thing worse than getting shot and dropping lifeless is them deciding to make extra sure by adding another hole
The technique at 10:45 is actually taught in martial arts. He just taught it terribly. The thumb is the easiest to move, which is why this works so well.
I've seen my martial arts instructor teach me the peel of the thumb. And boy did Dale fuck it up
the technique at 14:50 is also taught in martial arts.
Yeah in bjj it's one of the basic grip breaks.
I can confirm, I was in Tang Soo Do for 5 years and have seen it taught plenty of times. Anyone lower than red belt wouldn’t be ready for it yet. But yeah, that technique was so bad when he showed it. Frick
i was looking for this comment
Those keychains are actually quite useful. One of the teachers at my brothers old karate school gave me one and showed me a few different ways to use it (I spent far too much time on being homeless as a teen because of a not very nice household). I honestly thought it was pretty silly at the time. Then a couple of months later I got jumped. It's amazing how much pain that silly little keychain can inflict with minimal effort and how much pain it definitely saved me. It's been 30 years and I still carry it with me.
So yeah. If you live in a sketchy area I highly recommend getting one and learning how to use it.
Just don't use it like Dale does! lmao
Hey got a question did you have a legit good kubaton or a cheap crapy one like in this video or you would get on wish
Edit: if you didn't know those key chains are called kubatons
@@lewilewi1800 I got a good one. It's a solid piece of metal with some weight to it. Not like the lightweight ones. I did know it is called a kubaton. I just didn't bother calling it that because whenever I do people just look at me like I'm talking gibberish lol
However, the problem with that keychain, in the beginning, is that I heard if you were to use it for self-defense you can get into some trouble (do I fully remember why/how much trouble, no). I would definitely do research, although it may be handy I heard from several people there are far better things to use. I believe the reason is that the use for that keychain is to be a weapon so it makes you look guilty. I've seen people use tacticle flashlights and they wouldn't get into trouble because the main use of it is to be a flashlight, but "it just so happens to also be a powerful tool to use for self-defense". This is just from what I heard but I would do more research. (also they are said to be able to break windows, you know to get out of a car, they aren't actually capable of doing that from what I've seen as well.)
@@yourmomsdinner yes they can be illegal for example there are some states in Australia where I live that they are illegal and you are also right just a flash light can be very useful but most useful is learning self-defence other then starting to carry stuff like this
I like how Jack is so innocent not knowing how hot the barrel of a gun gets. Jack, if you see this, don't think about it
6:11
You gotta love how Dale advises you to use literally every part of that keychain except the pointy bit that at least looks viable as a self defense weapon against an attacker.
What's funny is that those things crumple and break like paper
And you can be detained for having that keychain as it's classed as a weapon
He said “you don’t HAVE to use the pointed end” as in if you don’t want to kill the fucker
@@Biteme1362
In what kind of a f*cked up country is a tiny piece of metal on a key considered as a weapon, as if it mattered if you were using it in self-defence.
Deadass could just use your keys and it’d be more effective and convenient
@@SlaaneshM30 it's a pointy stake "designed to hurt others". The tiny piece of metal is sold and exists for the sake of being dangerous and being able to inflict pain on others. It might be laughably silly, but the sellers want it to be a weapon, so the government treats it like a weapon.
Dunno what government they're even referencing. But it's kinda logical that if something is specifically sold to be a weapon, and it can inflict serious harm onto others if applied with malicious intend, that it is regarded as a weapon.
Jack sees someone shoot another:
“You just murdered him!”
Also Jack: “STAB HIM! I WANT TO SEE YOU STAB HIM!!”
🤣😂🤣
"god: ayo thx for making these tutorials man im getting a lot more up here ever since you started making em"
😭🤣🤣
12:58 The point where Dale actually gripped on the pistol won't allow the trigger to go off since the barrel is gripped on, this tip is risky but it's not completely useless and obviously the whole point of the tip is to not let the gun fire while you're trying to get the weapon out of the criminals hand. The pistol can't fire if the barrel is blocked and once you're gripped onto the barrel you have easy control of the guns point direction
“The hand is not ment to hold anything very well” is my favourite quote of the week :D
The statement was kind of stupid but if someone grabs you, the weakest part of the grip is the thumb. So it makes sense to make movements to escape by challenging the thumb instead of the opposing other 4 fingers.
But one definetly needs proper training for such situations. Video clips like these can fool people to feel like they know their way around self defence... That abduction prevention video was horrible...
To be fair. Tentacles are better for grabbing… but hands are better for using tools (but we all know that’s not what Dale was referring to)
"The only thing worse than getting shot, is getting shot again."
How did he say this with a straight face?🤣
Hes not wrong
"The only thing worse than dying, is dying again."
Dale, Detroit Urban Survival Training
if you get shot in one place that's not immediately lethal, and you're hopped up on adrenaline, getting the gun out of your attacker's control is a lot better than letting them keep it and finish you off.
11:25 MY HEART CANT TAKE THİS
once a police officer came to our school to teach us about self defense and I remember him saying "So kids, if a man is pointing a gun at you and he asks you for your wallet you can give it to him, but your fucked either way"
Thanks for using my LAUGH remix! There's a full version of it on my channel if anyone is interested :)
Oh you made the remix? Thats really cool! Also I'm giving you a human comment to help outlast the horde of incompetent bots above me.
Congrats for gettting your remix on the channel. I wish I could do something about the bots
@PaperMan Guys look, I found the guy the world revolves around! So honoured to finally meet you!
@PaperMan holy shit I’ve never met such an important and interesting person in my life
Banger of a remix
Dale: The hand is not meant to hold things very well
Evolution: Damn I must’ve forgot to save my progress
Legit, like how the fuck would a caveman get away with tackling and killing a moose or stabbing a lion to death if hands dont hold well? People will literally say anything to sell something, fuck history, I guess.
LOL FACTS.
Nope, sorry.
Dale negates that logic. Reality around him bends to his will.
He actually has video game stats.
All humans, specifically their grip strength, are 50% weaker when up against Dale himself.
But if you're a fighting expert, suddenly *he's* 50% weaker. And if you're good that's 100% odds, so uh..
I just noticed dales patches on his outfit are just crappy paper cutouts glued to some jacket
I miss these so much. Please make them again!
The "being followed" advice is actually pretty solid. The 3 left turns are a bit unnecessary but calling the cops is the best option if you suspect you're being followed. Heading towards the nearest police station just gets help to you sooner
I had some creep guy follow my daughter and I from a park and we did this...3 left turns....we lost him on the second turn but we drove a different way home as well.
The turns is to confirm that the person is following you
A better way to confirm someone is following you would be doing 4 turns making a full circle
yeah but if you cant, my mum told me to dont actually head home. if theres a neighboorhood near by turn in there and park in someones driveway, turn off your lights and car. and usually this will get them either lost or confused. if theyre waiting nearby then yes call the cops.
@@Faethehippie15_ That right there, that is smart.
On another note, I really like this new setup where Jack is standing and has a mic. It brings something really new and fresh to reactions and obviously plays off of stand up comedy.
Cringe comedy lol
@Beast v2🔥 How dare
Agreed. It lets him pace his energy out and it’s easier to get that full physical humor, get that energy up
Also, the "Top of the morning" logo behind him kinda looks like what a stand-up comedy stage would put in the background
@@I_am_worm it's a bot, don't even bother
"before we get into that. roll the intro" AD starts playing. perfect timing
4:14 I think what he was trying to say was since the hammer of the gun moves back right when they shoot, if you grab the hammer, it won't shoot. Either way, I don't think anyone would get a good grip of something that slides back and forth really fast
Is jack becoming a stand up comedian? Just the way he's holding that mic.
I hope he does, he’d be super good at it
Well I mean. He is standing
10:00 Technically the hand really isn't meant to hold things very well, it is meant to grab things and manipulate larger objects, but when it comes holding something tight, all the fingers apply their vectors on different directions and disrupt each other, making the final vector much weaker, specially if we're talking about round objects
Yep. The hand does a lot of things that are super useful but it doesn't do everything as good as it could.
so it holds things…
I think "retain" rather than "hold" would be a better choice of words. The thumb and nerves around it are the weak point, which is the grain of truth in these multi-grain loaves of bullshit that channel is handing out.
Yep, but ther is a weak point...
I beg a differ, try having a military man grab on you or anything for that matter. they grip hard and also someone that has nerve damage from the hands to the shoulders has a tight grip as well
Plot twist: Dale is secretly hired by the Mafia to give people bad self defense advice.
Them: The hands arent meant to hold anything very well
Me: THEN WHY TF DO WE HAVE THEM AND WHAT TF ARE THEY FOR IF THEY DO USELESS????
The one thing creationists and people who are right agree on: The hand is absolutely intended to hold things well. Dale somehow annoyed EVERYONE
i love that he used the hand-held microphone. He could walk anywhere in the room without worying that we wont hear him.
I recognized that type of mic. those are very good at loud vocals like singing and the like(depending on the model has 2 channel with separate volume control if you are using a multichannel mixer)
I mean we can here Jack even without a mic. Lol
@@snerdabee that's true. I can hear his scream even without the audio(・∀・)
The “mine” bit with the child abduction video made him sound like a pigeon and I laughed too hard
Thank you jack you’ve
Helped so many just by posting
“NOT MY THUMB! NO!! OWWW🥺🥺”
I am laughing so hard at his demonstration
I am dead 💀
I hope to be like Sean someday. Walking around his office talking to himself holding a mic and pretending he's on stage
Well... The thing is, he's now talking and holding a microphone on a WHOLE audience
Someday? This is me every day. lol
Honestly same lol
Hairbrush works too :P
Actually, the one about driving three rights and three lefts it actually works. I've had to do it twice, once in the states and once overseas. If someone is following you NEVER go home. They'll know where you live and if you're a target for whatever they have planned then it makes you a sitting duck. Always drive to a police station or in my case I drove straight to the military base I lived on and told the gate guards. Both followers fucked off and turned around.
It does seem silly I'll agree to that, but it can really help ward off horrible people. And calling 911 on the way is useful because they can either have a cop meet you or have someone waiting for you to arrive, plus since they record its good evidence in case something DOES happen before you can get to safety. Stay safe everyone!!
I was going to say something like this. It's not something I haven't heard before.
I used to work a job in the evening (3:30pm-11:30pm) and I was always aware of other cars behind me. If I thought a car had been behind me for too long I'd go past my house, around the block, anything but home. Only once in all the years I worked that job did I feel I was actually being followed. Most just went their own way or even pulled into a driveway themselves a little further down the road. You can feel a little silly, but I'd rather be a little paranoid than a lot dead.
this is good advice for more highly populated areas/cities. If you live in the country or a really small town with nothing but farm land this advice isnt that useful
I've had situations like that as well but then other times I'm going someplace and someone ahead of me thinks I'm following them when I was only going to the same place. For example Walmart to Homedepot, I was behind this guy the through a turn , two lights, and the final two turns to the Walmart. He did a weird circle move and left glaring me down like I was going to do something. Good on him for taking safety but again it was coincidence in that matter with me wanting to go to the same place. I feel bad that I scare them unintentionally.
Dale's advice is the real world version of "Swiper no swiping"
12:52
He sacrificed his future bloodline for a video. 💀
I took actual self defense courses a few years back and the women who gave the course actually taught us how to break bones if we had to. Like I know how to break someone's nose if need be. At the end of the course we had to break a wooden plank with just our bear hand. Needless to say I did. After watching these videos all I can think of is "Damn, this man can't teach shit. All I could defend myself against is a pillow or a toddler!"
Well , breaking a wooden plank is just to boost your head , breaking a plank dont take much force if you hold it right , if you want a good self defence training I would say go train Krav Maga
yep you're correct, i used to go to taekwondo classes and breaking planks is something even a toddler could do.. it just looks hard
Breaking someone's nose isnt an example of breaking a bone, its cartilage, but Ill take your word for it.
Yeah I took Taekwondoe when I was like 7 or 8 and they had everyone break boards all the time, it was just to make the kids feel cool
You have bear hands??
I like how jack makes everyone feel special in the intro, we love you Sean, and hope you had a happy birthday!
*ʟ̢̺ᴍ̢͉͖ᴀ͖͇̙ᴏ̢͎͙ ᴊ̪͜͜ᴀ̙͇̪ᴄ͙̺̟ᴋ̡̡̙ᴄ̞̪͜ᴇ̢̡͉ᴘ̼̼̟ᴛ͚̼͜ɪ̡͉͜ᴄ̢̠͎ʏ̘͙̘ᴇ̢̢̘'͕̻͉ꜱ͕͎̺ ᴅ͔͇̠ᴀ͖͍͜ᴅ̼͓̻ ɪ̫͇ꜱ̡̠̠ ɢ͓̝͎ᴇ̦͕ᴛ̻̻͚ᴛ͇̦͚ɪ͚̺ɴ̘̟͙ɢ̦͚͔ ɢ̦͇̘ᴀ͇͚͕ɴ̡̡ɢ͎̝̠ʙ͎͖̠ᴀ̻͍͜ɴ̠̻̫ɢ̫͙͖ᴇ̼͔̟ᴅ͎̠̼ ʙ͓͕ʏ̺̝͚ ᴅ̟͓̙ᴇ̢̠ᴍ̙̦̺ᴏ̦̪̻ɴ͓̺͉ꜱ͍̝̘ ɪ̝͉ɴ͓̝̙ ʜ̝̞ᴇ̫͎̻ʟ̠̦͇ʟ̙͚̫ ʙ͓͎͎ᴇ̡͎̦ᴄ̝͉͉ᴀ̻̞͓ᴜ̡͙̺ꜱ̘͚͕ᴇ̟̺̪ ᴍ̝̦͓ʏ̼̻ ᴄ̫̠̝ᴏ̙̠͜ɴ̡̝̟ᴛ̡̞̦ᴇ̝͚͇ɴ̪̞̙ᴛ̘̠̻ ɪ̺͙̺ꜱ͚̪͕ ʙ̢̻͉ᴇ̺͔͉ᴛ͖̼͙ᴛ͉̠͇ᴇ̻͖͙ʀ̙̺̫!̘̟͜!͇̪ ᴄ͎̝̻ʜ̢̪͕ᴇ̞͉̟ᴄ̡̪̘ᴋ͓̪ ɪ̞̼͍ᴛ̪̘͚ ᴏ̡͖̝ᴜ͎̘͍ᴛ̢͔̼!͎͓̘!͔͉*
ok remember guys dont respond to the bots report them. also i agree Sean is amazing
how many subs can I get from this comment?
Current: 1.99K.
Yeah! The older I get It feels like I'm just hanging with an old friend.
@@tuel7664 i still remember how shy he was during his old videos and then how energetic he became the more comfortable he got after so many videos, man time flies
The arm release tactics are what I get taught as an EA. They are meant to be used if a child grabs us aggressively, but they do work.
Tysm jack for being the best yter in the world u make me so happy tysm for being here❤☺
Jack: you went from being a victim shitting his pants to going to jail for killing someone, I mean self defence and all that, I get it
The swedish law system: well I do not
The US law system: I understand completely
@@BoxOKittens it's more like "I understand so much that I'll ignore it"
@@BoxOKittens it's so common to be arrested for self defense in the US.
@@wardenflanders7837 yeah I know, that was the joke lol
@@BoxOKittens A'ight.
3:15
Dale : "As soon as he saw my hand move,
he is going to shoot"
Also Dale : "So want you want to do is move your hand to the barrel-"
Bro this guy learned about the SCP idea and decided to try and create the NTF irl.
Sean, you the funniest part of the guy strangling you part. When he poked his eyes when he put him on the wall it aperently “smashes there skull”
9:41 “The hand is not meant to hold anything very well.”
Me holding a tablet : *Tablet slips and falls right out of my hands*
Same